#im like. ok i feel. slightly at a loss of where to start lmao

[crybabyddl]

I WOULD VERY MUCH LIKE TO REITERATE SOMETHING

Yes, let’s circle back to the beautiful performance of Edge of Great. More specifically the BODY LANGUAGE, particularly Julie and Luke’s, which I will be analyzing with gifs.

Exhibit A

Jealous Luke looks over at Julie and Reggie vibing

Julie is aware that she’s avoiding Luke, which she is doing so bc she realized her feelings for him thanks to Flynn earlier in the episode.

Since Julie has put the task of ignoring Luke upon herself even though she has no obligation to, she ends up failing her own mission. She sees Luke’s reaction to the lack of her attention.

She literally FREEZES. She’s emotionally worried to confront what she’s feeling and it’s beginning to manifest physically.

Exhibit B

It gets better y’all. After Luke finally has even a crumb of Julie’s attention, he beckons her over with his signature head tilt. This is important bc he did this with his longtime bandmate during the soundcheck of what would’ve been their biggest performance. If he feels comfortable enough using that body language with a girl he’s only known for, what, a week and a half(?) then you know this puppy boy’s got it BAD.

Julie is well aware that Luke is getting jealous. But in classic Julie fashion, she will try to tune it out instead of addressing it. Our wicked beauty doesn’t like confrontation and would rather just deny and avoid than potentially make things awkward, especially when she knows Luke would ask her about it at a later time.

The look on Julie’s face. Her eyes widen and the classic tight-lipped awkward smile is present. She’s literally saying “ok enough of that let’s get back to work doo doo doo” with her face. The way her body SWINGS back into performance mode as she faces the audience again. It may have been a split second, but when you’re deliberately trying to avoid looking into the dreamy (dead) eyes of someone you shouldn’t be crushing on, any amount of time feels too long. Plus, she knows Flynn is watching and doesn’t want her to lecture her (but she does anyway bc Flynn is observant and knows her bestie too well to let any action slip past her).

Exhibit C

Keep in mind; NONE OF THE GUYS KNOW WHY JULIE IS AVOIDING LUKE. Flynn, Alex, and Reggie have noticed the Juke chemistry, but it’s still too soon for them to get past the “we like each other but we’re too clueless to notice that we reciprocate�� phase, so even though their respective besties know, they are still denying. Besides, Reg, Alex, and Flynn know better than to keep pestering if they want to keep their kneecaps. In reality they’re both smart enough to tell by this point, but for the sake of the plot and to make everything more adorably frustrating, Flynn has the collective brain cell under lock and key, leaving Juke to be like *dog tilting its head and making that “a-roo?” noise*

Anyway, Reggie notices Luke being snubbed after realizing that his extra dose of Julie time was slightly out of the ordinary. Luke is clearly concerned (look at his eyebrows and how his eyes travel from Reggie, to Julie, then to the audience to trying and get his mind off it and bring his focus back to the main goal; the performance.) If he can’t have the moment of connection with Julie that he so desperately craves, he’s gonna fill that void as best he can by connecting with the audience. >:’)

But Reggie’s trying to help Luke brush it off by conveying his reaction as ‘look at julie coming into her own! i told you she was a star! and you thought you were the lead singer? think again buddy this girl’s got you beat!’

But since Reggie isnt a master at hiding his feelings yet, especially around Luke, —who was able to get under his skin earlier (“girls, am i right?”)—Luke was easily able to see through that and interpreted what Reggie was saying as “look at julie go, she all in the zone. you’re literally making heart eyes at her get a grip you’re slacking lmao” (hence luke’s right eyebrow quirking at reggie like ‘dude seriously gimme a break u know i need attention like tinkerbell’) even though Reggie’s true message was a bit less harsh and more lovingly teasing, but it’s Luke, he sees things through his eyes and at his intensity, regardless of who it’s coming from. (This is one of the reasons why Luke comes off as selfish at times.)

Exhibit D

Poor Lukey boi can’t seem to catch a break today! Not only does Julie ignore him, then has a cute lil (platonic but it’s luke so it still makes him jealous >:P) moment, but now she has the AUDACITY to interact with Alex? The guy who was out learning Ghost 101 with this Willie guy instead of rehearsing with the band? What gives?! What’s he got that your moody ghost bf doesn’t? >:’(

He literally just watches, and even glances back in a way that, to me, screams ‘did i see that right? did i just see what i just saw with my own dreamy (but dead) eyes? say sike rn.’ \_(*_*)_/

Meanwhile, Alex pays no mind. I like to think that Alex is fully aware that Luke is an angry boy rn, but has learned to ignore it, especially this bc literally NOTHING happened. Either that or Alex has no clue and just truly thinks nothing of it and is having too much fun to think about Luke’s moody and childish behavior. Either way, Alex is just straight chilling and we love to see it *^_^*

Notice how Reggie is right there vibing with Julie and Alex. Luke feels a bit betrayed like ‘not you too! i know you were the first to turn on me but i figured since you’re such a golden retriever you’d be loyal and come back to my side!😠🥲’

Also; Luke approaches the rest of the group, wanting to be included in at least SOME of the vibing, but when Julie starts dancing and smiling with her buddy Alex, he backs up like

“you know what? nope. nevermind. not doin’ it.”

and the group’s like “i mean hey it’s your loss, but luke we want you to-”

“no, bc you chose to piss me off right in front of my face so no luke time for any of you! no cuddles, no hugs, no nothing! you made your bed, now lie in it and perish.”

Exhibit E & F: This is where it gets a bit interesting and theorized hehe...

Now we all know that this moment is just fucking ICONIC

WEOWH NEOW NEOW!!! WEOW NEHR NEHR NER-NER-NER NEHR NEHR NEOWHR!!! (wer nehr-nehr-ner-ner-nehr-nehr!!) WUEHNER-NEUHNER-NEHR-NEEOW-NEOWH! DLOOLOODDUH-DOODLAH-HOOBLUEH-NEOWHR-NEUEHR-NEEEEEEUOWRH!!!!

But hear me out– HEAR ME OUT!

What if... now don’t shoot the messenger who just so happens to also be the theorist... but what if...

WHAT IF!!! Luke didn’t!! plan this?!!!

Listen i know you’re probably thinking:

“Well uh Nicole, isn’t that kinda the whole point? It literally wasn’t planned until Charlie realized Madi was gonna be standing on the piano so he suggested the idea for the guitar solo to Kenny.”

And you’re right! But here’s the kicker:

What if Luke THE CHARACTER, just decided to do this as an “Alright that’s it! You wanna be like that? Well what if I just hit you with my super awesome radical totally cool wowza guitar skills & make a moment between us? Huh? What do you think about that? Hmm? HMMM???!!!”

He licks his lips & that to me read** like he was nervous (**read rhyming with bed just to clarify) so that means it could’ve been a spontaneous, spur-of-the-moment thing.

In the second gif, you can see that Julie’s head is tilted, as if she’s a bit confused, but she’s also delightfully surprised.

Julie is quick to smile and scrunch her nose at Luke, something she does often. It tells Luke his impulsive action garnered a positive response from his favorite girl. Julie also starts to shake her head, but doesn’t go through the motion in full, which means she’s still a bit nervous to let her guard down. This is probably because she doesn’t know what he’s thinking or what he will do next. The lopsided smile mixed with the suave, gliding steps towards her probably brought her back to her daydream lol.

Luke’s happy bc Julie’s no longer ignoring him. He smiles like a GOOBER bc this chump is simping HARD for our Julie. So cute! :’)

Exhibit G

And hear me when I offer this:

What if Luke poofed the guys out???

I know, I know. It’s a bold claim to make. But the boys are special, considering they are a threat to Caleb (3 gay-variant himbos vs. a gay magician that could’ve been on broadway but decided to make some sort of deal with a devil so he just entertains capitalists who most likely sold their souls to get into the hgc which i will probably elaborate on in a future theory so dont do that bc im gonna lmao idc we all have big brains) So it’s not too crazy to think that they could share some ghost powers.

We know Caleb transported the guys during You Got Nothing to Lose. And the guys have left a place at the exact same time on more than one occasion.

And you may be thinking “well what if the guys poofed out to give juke a moment alone together?” And to that I say...

Look at Reggie. He isn’t looking back at Alex like “dude let’s give them some space.”

The timing of him turning around, at least to me, makes me think Reggie was surprised by Luke approaching the piano. (But also he lowkey was waiting for Luke to prove him wrong by doing something to get Julie’s attention so Reggie isn’t mad. Neither is Alex but he doesn’t like being told how or WHEN to ghost) Luke doesn’t even give his bandmates a warning eyebrow quirk, a hand signal, nothing. Reggie turns to Alex like ‘dude what is he DOING?’ And before he can even really convey that, they go *POOF*

This man had a plan and he was gonna do it, so he did. Whether it’s the power of love, they stopped performing, or Reggie and Alex actually poofed out, the odds worked in Luke’s favor so he and Julie could have a super special moment, a moment special enough to make an actual living person (Nick) wonder if a “hologram” has a better chance at connecting with Julie than he does.

Again, regardless of who made them poof or how they poofed, they mf poofed so Luke’s a happy hamster. (Idk it just sounded fitting instead of happy camper lol wait what if someone had 3 pet hamsters and named them alex reggie and luke🥺 someone buy some hamsters and let me be their godmother or their aunt and i’ll love them from afar.) Anyway, Luke’s thriving, flourishing, his crops are going to grow in time for the harvest.

You can see Julie lean back as she turns to see Luke. It’s... almost as if... She. Wasn’t. Expecting. Him. To. Be. There..??

Honey badger Luke bc he DGAF <|:) Bitch, it’s Luke mf Patterson and he’s gonna,, GET! IN! YOUR! FAAAACE!!!

You CANNOT tell me he’s not doing the absolute MOST to try and seduce Miss Juliana Mariposa Rose Molina.

Yes I’m making a headcanon that Julie has TWO middle names and that one of them is the spanish word for butterfly and that the other is her mother’s name. Also yes, I believe (i believe that we’re just one dream away from who we’re– oh, that’s not what we’re doing? okay, sorry!) that Juliana is Julie’s full name.

In this house we love and respect Juliana Mariposa (Dahlia)** Rose Molina

**I’m just putting Dahlia there for fun bc I can. :) Whether I’d consider it a possible middle name of hers depends. Anyway I just thought it was a cute thing to add bc it goes along with the other middle names I gave her *^_^* Also, I feel like I made a post giving a bunch of the characters middle names lemme see if I can find it later)

Ok i’m done this took me basically all day from like 10am until 4:08. I obviously took breaks in between, but not long ones...😶

[mxvladdy]

wait holy shit youre taking requests???? okay first of all, im in love with your writing skills especially those true forms they are *chefs kiss* magnifique. second, may i request for an angst but fluff ending prompt for barbatos/simeon/solomon (im an absolute simp for them) about MC having a really bad asthma attack and coupled with anxiety attack? (totally not me lmao) please and thank you! sorry for being too specific!

A/N: Oshbagosh! I hope you are good fam! You have excellent taste in simpin ngl Barbatos came out of left field for me, though I am weak for a quick wit and sharp tongue lol. And thank you for liking my works! Sorry, this took so long;.;

I hope my research was good and accurate! 

Barbatos

Does not know what is going on at first. Were you having an allergic reaction to something you ate? Had you gotten into some Devildom spices he hadn’t secured well enough?

Panics internally. He is very ready to spend the exurbanite amount of energy it would take to turn back the clocks before you started wheezing. 

Externally he keeps a level head, glad his gloves hide how sweaty his palms are. He remembers then your human medical file. 

He tends to you quickly grabbing your medication and carrying you away from whatever triggered this attack. 

“Do you need a doctor?” Barbatos asks for the umpteenth time. He runs a gloved hand up and down your back. You shake your head weakly coughing to try and dislodge some phlegm now breakdown in your throat. You take a shaky breath feeling your airways loosen, the fresh air that fills your lungs taste so sweet. 

“I’ll be ok Barb.” You wheeze taking another deep inhale from your inhaler. “Stop hovering and sit please, you are starting to stress me out more.” The demon makes a weird tutting noise in distress but comes to sit next to you. You lean back with a groan. The garden wall was rough on your back but you didn’t care at the moment. It had been so long since you had a flare-up you had almost forgotten what it felt like. You shift over slightly seeking out the heat of your companion's body. Exhausted you flop over to rest your head on his shoulder.

“Here let me.” He pulls out his ornate handkerchief and starts whipping at your nose and eyes. “What triggered this love? Have I missed someplace in my cleaning?” He knew he didn’t, never in all his years had he ever missed a spot. He would retire in shame if he did, but he felt like he had to fill the silence. If you were talking that meant you were alright. Right? He curses at himself. He thought he knew more about humans than this, yet you somehow threw curveball after curveball at him. He needs you to be safe and happy yet he choked on something like this? Perhaps he would suffer more of Solomon’s companionship to pick his brain on human ailments. As long as he could dodge eating any of his cooks.   

You fidget as he cleans your face and fusses over you, but you let him. This was for his benefit more than yours. “No, I think it's pollen. Your plants are not something I’m used to yet, and with the wind, it just hit harder.” He grunts, not pleased with your answer. He could do anything about the plants, and things out of his control were few and far between. You catch the inner argument he was having with his many selves and scoff. “Barb-” You take the cloth from him and tuck it in your pocket. “You and all your selves absolutely cannot control my illness, and that's ok.” He doesn’t look convinced, no doubt looking for a loophole in the webs he weaves. 

“Given the time I-” He stops at your withering look. “I don’t like not being in control.” Your look softens. 

“Who does?” You clear your throat finally feeling a bit more like yourself. Well, at least the garden wasn’t spinning anymore. “There. I think I can manage. Can you help me to the nurses' office? I should get a check-up since it’s been a while since I’ve had an attack. Then I think I’m going to call it a day.” 

Barbatos nods helping you to your shaky feet. His hands locked around your arm like he was afraid you would crumble again. You give him a reassuring look and lean into his weight. You didn’t need it, but it was a nice feeling, being looked after. Besides, it was so rare to get his sole attention. “I’ll inform the young master  that we will be taking the rest of the day off.” 

“We?” 

“Of course.”  He says resolutely. “Unless you wish for me to leave?” He barely contains his smile when he feels your hands squeeze tighter around his bicep. 

“As long as I’m not impeding.” Your words are half-hearted at best. You don’t give a damn if it throws off some super-secret agenda, you were happy to have more time with him. He calmed your nerves. 

Simeon

He hadn’t meant to trigger an attack. The weather outside was simply lovely.  It was dry and warm with a breeze that made grass dance in a mesmerizing way. The track around one of the Devildom’s many bodies of crystalline water was beautiful at this time of the day. He had to share his enthusiasm.

He just wanted to go for a walk with you. He had so much to talk about with you that he forgot how long his legs are compared to yours. He was so excited he didn’t realize how fast his gait is and how much you were struggling to keep up with him. He didn’t realize your troubles until he felt a sweaty palm on his wrist. 

Openingly gets panicked but knows about human medicine and where you store your inhaler. 

Simeon breathes deeply through his nose and out his mouth. One deep inhale and one long exhale- focus just focus. His chest clenches in alarm at your shallow pants, his eyesight narrowing down to pinpricks. Blessedly he keeps a steady hand.

“Slowly now my dear.” He shakes your inhaler before bringing it to your lips. His strong fingers massaging your jaw to loosen it. Squeezing your cheeks he slips the apparatus past your teeth noticing how glassy your eyes were becoming. “Inhale.” He orders thanking his father you understand him enough to comply.  He watches you like a hawk till he hears your heartbeat steady. Once he is sure he could look away he calls Lucifer. He doesn’t remember what he said, but he knew it was a panic-fueled rush.

“Simeon,” He looks up from his phone. “I’m ok…” You wheeze blinking up into the afternoon moons. Simeon shushes you running his warm hands over your cheeks. They were ice-cold despite the heat. He warms his palms with magic watching the fog clear from your gaze. “Thanks.” 

“You shouldn’t thank me.” He pulls away, shaking his head. “This is my fault. I apologize, my dove.” You chuckle breathlessly becoming aware of your surroundings. Last thing you remember was walking up the shoreline. Now the hardwood of the bench pokes at your back. Had you collapsed here? Or did Simeon carry you over? “I should have been more aware of the situation.” He pulls at his hair in frustration. His lower lip turns red as he worries it with his teeth.

You swat his hand away from his hair wincing in sympathy when a few chunks of hair that follow. Linking his dexterous fingers with your clammy ones, you trace the lines in his palm with your thumb. You try to breathe in time with the steady rise and fall of his chest letting your meds take full effect. Your breathing was better, but you still had spots in your vision. “It’s not your fault really. I should have told you when I started feeling bad.” 

“I should have noticed. How can I protect you if I can’t even realize your limitations?” He bemoans. You exhale a jerky laugh. Your lungs throbbing with the sharp movement. It ached for sure, but not enough that you couldn’t get up. Ignoring his protests you get off the bench and pull him up with you.  

“None of that!” You wag a finger in his face. I’m allowed to panic, not you. You try to make light of the situation but your finger trembles in his face.  “You did exactly what you should have so don’t doubt yourself. Sides’-” You clasp yours. hands together playing with your thumbs. “I got horribly distracted too, and pushed myself.” 

“By what?” 

“You.” Your cheeks heat in embarrassment. “ You were so excited to have the day with me I didn’t want to ruin the mood.”

Simeon blinks. “You-didn’t want to ruin the mood by telling me you were having an asthma attack?” You shrug, a childish smile crossing your face. Unbelievable. Simeon swears under his breath. “I-I am at a loss for words.” He places both his hands on your shoulders squeezing them. “I will find them later and then we'll talk about your amazing lack of self-preservation, but for now, Lucifer is waiting for us at the nurses' office.” Not giving you time to argue he scoops you up, arm holding you under your knees and securely around your shoulders.  Once he knew you were safe, he would make sure to have an eye on you at all times.

Solomon

The dusty old library located in the catacombs of the school was a dead giveaway to be trouble for your lungs. You both knew that. He warns you, the moment you feel ill they are leaving, no questions, no arguments. Very much the calmest of the three. He is human...mostly… so he knows the signs and can catch it much faster than the others. 

Still worried about you though. You aren’t a mage,  just his regular old human. 

When he gets nervous he makes jokes. Not appropriate given the circumstances but they just come out. So while he is dragging you from the school he is making the obligatory joke about him taking your breath away.

He will have whatever medications or potions he can think of at the ready for you to use if you need them. Won’t baby you or hover, you’ve lived with this for long he doesn’t want to insult you in any way. But he will keep close and have his ringer on loud in case you need him.

But now he wants you to rest and recover. He’ll keep you company though.

You gaze sleepily out of the bedroom window propped up on an exorbitant amount of puffs and pillows. You breathe out with caution, testing to see if you were still having any lingering effects from being down in the catacombs. It wasn’t anything too serious this time, thankfully. The moment you started clearing your throat and breathing just a little too hard to be considered normal, Soloman had grabbed both your bags and dragged you from the moldy and dusty space. You were a little put out at how quickly your asthma had acted up. You had just found the book you were looking for too. 

“If you keep squirming out of your blankets I’ll seal you in there with magic.” Your captor friend appears, pulling aside the drapes around his bed to sit next to you. He flashes you a cocky grin placing a tray on his bedside table. Solomon scans your face looking for any inkling of pain that might linger. “Is something wrong?”

“I’m hot.” You lie. In truth, the many blankets he wrapped you in felt marvelous, but you were being cantankerous. You wanted to get up and go back to work. The mage raises a pale brow, not believing a word of it.

“Of course you are, my little scholar.” He tucks you in again a little tighter then props your cocooned feet on his legs. “How are you really?” 

You shrug. Compared to other attacks you’ve had this one was thankfully mild.  Most likely because he had whisked you out the winding maze-like library faster than you thought possible. The jitters from the panic attack that followed took more out of you. Luckily for you, Solomon handled that easily too. “You know I want to go back.” You had your hands on the book you wanted when you started feeling a little breathless.  You wanted to believe it was out of excitement for the tomes. But the back of that section of the library was damp, cool, and dark. The perfect trifecta for your lungs to riot. 

Solomon nodded unfazed. “Yes, I’ve come to realize that whenever danger is present you seem to gravitate towards it.” He smiles fondly at your pout. Your thirst for knowledge was almost as insatiable as his, and both of you seemed to have a knack for attracting danger. He watches you fidget in your confines for a little bit more before sighing. “Alright-alright, I get the drift hold still.”  Leaning over you he loosens the covers around your arms to give you a little bit of freedom. As soon as you were free you pinch his nose hard in retaliation. “Oi!”  He laughs pulling back to rub at his nose. “Such violence! And here I came bearing gifts!” 

“That’s for insulting me!” You huff settling back down. “I hope it’s food, I’m starving.” You eye him expectantly. 

“Feed you? After that assault? My, you are brazing.” He picks up the tray he brought despite himself. The school cafe was serving your favorites today. Placing it on your lap he brushes his lips across your cheek. “Plus, I made tea.” You hum in excitement, eyes lighting up with glee. While he couldn’t cook worth a damn (you chalk it up to him irretrievably destroying his sense of taste and smell tolling over potions for years). He did have amazing luck with blending tea leaves and spices. A skill he severely took for granted. 

You pick up the tea and breath deeply only to have a coughing fit. His warm broad hands are there in an instant pushing you back into the pillows. “Sorry-sorry. Still a bit tender.” You smile through watery eyes. “It smells great!” 

“Does it? What do you smell? I admit, I just picked out things that looked pretty together.” He flushes pink rubbing at the back of his neck. 

You take the cup again and sniff. It had a hint of springtime in it, warm and sharp. Something earthy mixed with fire. You take a sip. “Hmm, spicy. Is that licorice?” Solomon nods. 

“It is indeed, I read that licorice and black pepper can help with asthma symptoms and circulation. I figured it could wash the  taste of your meds away.” He jokes watching you eat and take small sips of the steaming brew. He smiles to himself, glad you could get so comfortable in his room. Perhaps once you were dozing he could slip back into the library and conveniently “borrow” the book you had to leave earlier.

[soysaurus]

for the question meme (if ur still doing this) 001 for tachigin?

bestie. bodalicious babe. im always down for ask games. ALSO TACHIGIN MY BELOVED :simp:

anw...onto the questions heheh 😼

001 | send me a ship and I will tell you:

when I started shipping it if I did:

my thoughts:

What makes me happy about them:

What makes me sad about them:

things done in fanfic that annoys me:

things I look for in fanfic:

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:

My happily ever after for them:

who is the big spoon/little spoon:

what is their favorite non-sexual activity:

i like doing this but also lmao help why is this hard lol

when I started shipping it if I did:

literally as soon i saw them. uhhhh, im not too sure when i started watching bsd...early 2020? i genuinely can't really remember but yeah. as soon as i got into bsd. i feel like 2020 is late...but also is it... mate idk i feel like you know this more than me. maybe it was after that actually lol. but yeah whenever the hell i started watching bsd. that first moment where theres like the gun to gin's stomach and the knife to tachi's throat...god chefs kiss. i was like YES MY SHIP HELLO. i have a type oh my god help

my thoughts:

this is like, such a vague question. and as you can see in the dabi ask a bit before this...i am so bad at getting my thoughts together. i will go on rambles for centuries or i will have...like one sentence. but i like them.

ok uh. warnings for bsd manga spoilers ahead: one of my favourite things about tachigin is the fucking parallels between them. theres just so much to work with in terms of similar themes. and theyre very much like...polar opposites, but so similar at the same time. it's another version of dabihawks omg...in relation to this inverse direction of themes....wow my ships are just the same thing but in slightly different flavours...

but they both deal with this idea of family and loss...and they have the whole things theyre doing for/bc of their brother similarity too. except they both went off in completely opposite directions, jut like with their personalities. we have the quiet one and the one who talks too much/too loud. we have the one who waits in the shadows and the one who rushes in, guns blazing. we have silent but deadly and raucous and reckless. but theyre like this mirror image of one another, and i think its so cool. esp bc theyre both very minor characters (well, aside from tachi recently). but even with the whole abilities thing...one with and one without.

so yeah. my thoughts can honestly go one forever bc theres so much to explore with them but i'll wrap up here haha

What makes me happy about them:

their back and forth. they have this cheeky kind of banter currently going on between them, and i think it really solidifies the whole sense of belonging between them. theyre both very isolated characters, and gin learns to kind of open up more, and i do think tachi contributes a lot to that. and tachi gets so comfortable around her. its really sweet tbh. but yeah, in each other, they kind of make the mafia their home. and the best part is i dont think they even realise it. its this subconscious comfort thats slowly forming between them, and they dont even realise that the other person is such a huge reason for why their sense of identity is being tied to the mafia.

it makes for a lot of interesting thoughts, scenarios, and i really dont understand how they're such an underrated ship when you have this much...flesh and meat in their dynamic already. it's spread through crumbs in the anime and manga, yes, but it's there. it's so, so there. people are fucking sleeping on them lmaooo

What makes me sad about them:

the lack!! of content!!! there's so much room for angst, fluff, everything! and i would love to see some long fics in the tag with them. i want to see their relationship broken apart and threaded back together in front of me—i want to be able to understand their characters so much better than i do currently, but i can't. there's just not enough people to talk about them with—not enough things to read about to flesh them out in my head. i wish they made other people as happy as they make me haha

things done in fanfic that annoys me:

sigh um. this is going to feel a bit targeted bc there arent many fics in the tag, so sorry lmao. i feel bad saying this but. often these two are kind of just reduced to plot devices for fluff. and i get it. it's nice, but that's the only thing in the tag right now. and tachi is not a soft uwu boy. gin is not a soft uwu girl—although she definitely has her soft side, i'm not denying that. but like sometimes i feel like the real meat of their characters completely vanish in the face of a sweet but awkward date. i'd like something a little more. i'd like more aus too, bc i love aus more than canonverse, and i can't really find any unless i write it myself.

things I look for in fanfic:

aus!! good characterisation! specifically with tachigin: length. i first look to the wc bc i want something chonky. but aus my beloved. particularly modern aus but i cant really be picky with this ship ngl.

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:

uhhh this is a very interesting question. i think for gin, lucy. they're but. i like to hc tachi as aro sometimes, so i feel like he'd be more of a free spirit. just kind of floating among lots of people. the tanizaki/tachi ship is interesting though, even if i don't think i'd ever read a fic solely based on them alone.

My happily ever after for them:

fuck lmao. um. i never think about the distant future. i think i would be happy with them finding a family—whether that be the mafia or kind of a group of other people. but i'd love to see them in a place where they're comfortable and feel loved and at home. but also i wouldnt want them to lose the edge that makes their partnership so them. they're black lizard commanders for a reason, so i think i would like to see their lives calm down when they're in their thirties or something. bc i can't see it calming down any time soon—especially when you account for character growth and development bc i dont think either of them would be able to give up the urge to reach for something metal—whether it be a knife or a gun—instantly.

basically: they need therapy. as do all anime charas. this is not a happily ever after lmao but i find i cant really think of hcs and happily ever afters and stuff without planning a fic and i havent gotten to the end of planning/writing a tonne of tachigin fics. so oops. i dodge questions with unnecessary rambling once again <3

who is the big spoon/little spoon:

they take turns. i dont take criticism <3 but also lmao i feel like every couple takes turns so i always find this question a little funny. tachi ig would be the big spoon though, purely because he's way more open in terms of physical affection than gin is; she's very reserved, so i feel like she naturally curls up a bit when she sleeps or lies/sits down. she's the type to sit with her legs together, arms together. very still. very...static? put together? idk its definitely this kind of tightness that tachihara just lacks because he's a lot less refined. wow this answer derailed a lot.

what is their favorite non-sexual activity:

i feel like target practice would be something they would enjoy a lot—just trying to best one another at who has better aim, who is more skilled, who can do things the fastest, etc. and i have a fic where they play mc so ive been thinking about them playing mc a lot so thats another answer. purely because i've been thinking about it too much and it's just on low volume constantly in the back of my brain.

[smallblanketfort]

Sending this ask through submit because it got super long. 

okay i’m going to make this interview format, yeah? so the ask is in italics, my word just straight up.

my friend recently told me that they have bpd and even that I’m one of their fps so I decided to read more about it. A lot of it matched their behaviour perfectly but I was somewhat confused when I read that bpd people are super clingy, especially with their fps because my friend isn’t clingy at all. In fact I was even surprised when they told me that I’m one their fps since they very rarely text me if I don’t text first and they aren’t especially affectionate when we are hanging out or anything. tbh I always felt like the clingy one in this friendship and highkey felt like I was constantly bothering them, lmao. Could you maybe shed some light on this? I don’t wanna bring this up because it might seem that I’m doubting their diagnosis? Idk. 

this is me tbh. at first the diagnosis very much confused me, bc my patterns didn’t seem to fit. what i never ever want to admit is that part of bpd is having abandonment issues. so, you could say that people deal with these fears by either being very clingy, or very distant, to avoid any sort of abandonment, a sense of leaving first, if you will. believing that you’re annoying and frustrating or fearing you are manipulative. also sometimes wanting to be pursued. it is confusing, but those are what i’ve come to assume, from my experience anyway. texting first is one of the hardest things for me, and being texted first is validation at its finest, perhaps.

Also could you give me some tips on communicating with bpd people? Like, sometimes I can tell something is wrong but I ask them and they tell me they’re good and shut down the conversation. Sometimes they even seem a little pissed that I asked how they are doing or if everything is ok. I guess it makes them feel like a sick person or something? They haven’t told me that, it’s just my guess. But it’s totally not about that, I ask the same thing to my non-mentally ill friends all the time, I just actually wanna know how they are doing because I care about them deeply, and I wanna be able to understand what is going on with them. Like not in a “charity case” way, but just because they are my friend and I love them, dammit. And sometimes I don’t even think there is something wrong, I just ask “how are you” to start a conversation because I’m bad at coming up with things to talk about, but do wanna talk to them. So I’m thinking, I’m probably not doing this right? Do you have any tips? 

anons are funny bc it always gives me a tiny bit of room to wonder if this is someone i know, talking about me. this whole thing makes me chuckle slightly, bc yesterday i was like “yo i dont have bpd” and then i read this and im like o shit yes i do, fuck, this is p much me that’s wild. i hesitate to answer these bc everyone is different so i dont want to give u the totally wrong thing for this person?? but,, okay uhmm,,, ye i guess it could stem from a) them actually being fine b) not wanting to talk about it c) wanting to feel normal/healthy/not sick d) actually wanting to be pushed e) feeling like isolating themselves f) lack of trust g) the words freezing up. idk how to explain this. i really don’t, bc i’m thinking of my own experience and it’s like very splitty/opposites at once. like part of me wants to be pursued, but the other part of me gets totally spooked by this. so i guess i suggest either asking them about it, or simply continuing to ask. you’re giving them opportunity to talk to you, and that’s valuable. it can be hard to open up, but you’re still there, which is something in itself, does that make any sense?? the reality is, as long as you ask and show u care, they can decide how to direct the conversation. also it can help if u say how you are feeling too, so there’s some equality and trust being built. 

Oh, and also any tips for when they are clearly in a crisis? Like when they’re just about to self-harm, do drugs or something reckless and I’m not physically close to them. I’m always at a loss in these situations because a part of me just wants to scream “DON’T DO THE DUMB THING” or just turn into a mom and be a complete buzzkill but at the same time I want them to feel like they can tell me these things and that I’m not judging them. So how can I be helpful? When it happens I’m often afraid I’ll say something wrong and make an already volatile situation worse. 

i’ve been on both sides of this and i fluctuate so much!! like,,, when i’m being you, watching someone, sometimes i’m like “lol nice have fun be safe” bc i feel like the be safe is loaded, and i high key wanna join in the self destruction. but i think u can get mad sometimes. bring some reality and remind the person of the gravity of what they doing. and shows u care. but not doing it all the time, yanno? sometimes the probably perhaps manipulative side of me wants to be yelled at, like show me you care!!!!!! one of the most hurtful moments was when i almost od’d and was lying on the floor freaking out, and someone was like “okay talk to you tomorrow be safe” like dude. clearly i wasn’t safe do u care at all? so ye, another one that is hard to figure out, honestly. but being there, and being available is good. also, it depends what you mean. like self harm is peeerhaaaps more urgent/negative than recklessness. again, presence is probably what helps me most… this is such a hard balance, i know!! i almost hate hearing about others’ substance abuse and self harm bc it makes me feel really helpless and sad and angry, but also like i should just join bc fuck it. this is a really hard question to answer… sorry babe

i’m answering these in such a confusing manner, i apologize omg 

Sorry for making such a long post but I don’t know anyone else with bpd and since their diagnosis is new I still don’t know what can I ask them or not? They can be so private and cagey about things so I’m afraid to step on their boundaries. And I don’t wanna make everything about their bpd you know? Thank you so much for always answering these questions about mental illness and trying to help people, I’m sorry if I put too much on you with all these questions but I didn’t know where to go with this. 

maybe it’s just me, but i’m super open to questions bc i feel like i’m a hard person to have any sort of relationship with, so if i can clear anything up so that no one feels as bad, i’’m for it. ask me away. so ask them too. chances are, they are nervous and confused (it’s been like a year and a half and same), but they’re THEM and they have been for awhile. the label is rlly the only thing that changed u know?

so i guess my advice would be to ask them how you “can best be there for them”, “what would help them most, bc u care about their wellbeing.” be present. like not it being about bpd, but them as a person.

don’t be sorry!!! im honored that you’d come ask me about it!! these things kinda help me too bc it forces me to think of bpd things from my pov, someone else’s, and from another bpd person’s. it’s helpful. and ur a rlly sweet, great friend trying to better understand n be there for ur friend, im such a fan of u. 

im so sorry this was so unhelpful and confusing probably!!! i wish i could be better, but it’s difficult bc of splitting and all that. i hope this helped a tiiiinnnyyy bit tho

all the best xx