#im like the bat from fern gully

[opaleyedprince]

every time my job orders a drug test i wish so badly i were medicated

[horce-divorce]

WELCOME BACK TO PART 2

this time my friend was able to add to her collection with a few absolute treasures found at the local goodwill

we started off with THE ORIGINAL 1993 FOX DISTRIBUTED ENGLISH DUB OF MY NEIGHBOR TOTORO!!!!!!!!!! 10000/10 off the bat because this is the version I watched so many times as a child that my copy of the tape MELTED. the fanning sisters did like a fine job or whatever but I don't understand why Disney had to redo the dub when they took over distribution in the aughties. I'm forever gonna be bitter about that bc the original was perfect as it was and that version of Mei just had so much genuine little kid zest, she reminds me more of Ponyo and I love her. So anyway the fact that my friend found this and we could share it with our other friend has completed some kind of cosmic cycle for me and I'm very happy <33333 diff scenes make me cry now that Im older. When Mei falls asleep on Totoro for the first time I started bawling. and when they take that first bath in their house and they're un-haunting it with their laughter. And when they made the flowers grow and they're going "it was only a dream!" "It WASNT a dream!!" and also when Satsuke asks Totoro for help and he's the first person to be THRILLED that she asked bc he knows he can help!!! And also when catbus says "next stop: little sister!" and when they leave the corn for mom. and when the credits roll and you see mom come home. UGH ALL OF IT. I bawled through the whole damn thing it's such a good fucking movie. (Idk who needs to hear this but as an aside I've been on T for a year btw and case in point, I cry all the damn time, so.) If you catch me singing the theme song out in the woods you either join in or you mind you damn business

after this came FERN GULLY (1992) which I was just saying to @endreal I needed a rewatch of, and what better way than on VHS on a CRT just like how I used to watch it as a babyboy! Some of the music in this movie is so bad, but some of it is sooo fucking good? Go listen to Toxic Love. I'm asexual but Tim Curry could get it if he wanted to I'm js. Anyway this movir is so 90s it hurts (the giant walkman playing Land of A Thousand Dances, the 90s Standard Movie Tropes that were in every fucking movie, god what a ride). and it's genuinely SO fucking beautiful, this is actually one I'd love to see remastered/in HD because I bet there's gorgeous details lost on the old format, it's a true visual masterpiece. All in all, it holds up! 10/10 this movie is a fan favorite and classic for good reasons and it, like Holes and Totoro, has a solid message at it's heart. faeries use collective action, Tim Curry is both evil and sexy, the fairies are so tiny and cute and sitting on mushrooms all the time, it's about using our inherent connections to save the environment, and it hints at a romance that ultimately doesn't come to fruition. it hits all the right spots. good shit. my top tracks for this one are Toxic Love and Dream Worth Keeping. (Deadass stop reading and go listen to Toxic Love right now. If this helps, here's the vibe check from the current top comment)

Batty's Rap physically hurts to listen to but is a BLAST to recite, and is chock full of incredible dad joke fodder to have in your pocket. there's also some funny dialogue/quotes that do hold up for me amidst much of the 90s stuff that feels more dated... the big, big bottoms with bad shorts thing is iconic but also, "we're communicating now!" "not THIS little mammal!" And "how many times a day I gotta threaten your life?" Instantly made it back into my rotation.

finally came DEAD POET'S SOCIETY (1989) which was another one I feel the VHS experience only enhances. this was a weird tonal shift from cartoons and made it hard for me to pay close attention to, but there are some very slightly "readable as gay" undertones, and regardless, both Robin Williams and (baby!!) Robert Sean Leonard put on such wonderful performances. the bonds these boys share are so nice, and good fucking god am I so thankful I went to public school. this one's rather dry and a bit of a tough watch, it's not something everyone will relate to (this is fundamentally a story By And For White Cishet Men), but its worth the watch if you can handle the topics at hand (tw for suicide and abusive parents). For me the whole movie comes together with that final "o captain, my captain." I bawled my eyes out lmao. Its just a nice, solemn story about all the ways people can touch your life and influence who you are. and also, if you think I'm NOT starting a secret poetry club in a cave somewhere just bc I'm in my 30s now, you're a fool and not invited to my sick poetry slam, cool cats only. 7/10

We started but did not finish Sailor Moon Promise of the Rose, so I'll have to come back with my review of that one. She had some other really good ones we have to finish yet as well >:) we're having so much fun with this. Even as someone who's been taking a step back to MP3s and physical media lately, I didn't expect to enjoy going back to a CRT/VCR setup so much. It definitely is an Experience™️ especially with the way time has degraded the physical media... For example, that Fox orchestral intro thing sounds sooo funny, instead of "bwom" it's like BwaaaAoOOaoOoOaoOOm, and all the audio does that. hope that makes sense. Anyway it's good shit 👍if you're someone who still has a way to watch movies this way in the year of our lord 2023, I highly recommend it

My friend just moved to a her grandmas old place and she doesn't have internet, so instead we dug out Grandma's trusty VHS collection and watched a bunch of movies from the cusp of Y2K. We also have plans to dig out more because this is our thing now, fuck Netflix. So here's my reviews so far:

Holes. what a GREAT fucking movie. Good message that is blatantly anti-prison industrial complex and anti-capitalist. good morals, good soundtrack, great casting, the author of the text wrote the screenplay so it hits hard like the book does, the romance between Kate and Sam will be goals to me forever. "I can fix that"!?!? KILL ME JFJDJWKWKFNJRNE 11/10 good shit. youuUuUUUU got to goOooOoo dig those hooooles 🎶

Another one that's still good? POTC: curse of the black pearl. Yes it's Johnny Depp Disney Garbage Trash, but it's WRITTEN SO WELL. Whatever writers they got for that shit obviously have written many a fanfic (positive! praise!!) bc the dynamics and dialogue btwn characters flow so smoothly. It's absolutely and utterly unlike real life, it's just the pirate story we all always wished we could be in, and it's still an absolute blast. for that I award it 9/10. This one was funny bc it came out on VHS in time for the commercials to be advertising DVDs.

Jimmy Neutron Boy Genius? This one's hard, cus this was one of my FAVORITE movies growing up. I noticed going in, however, that I remembered far less about what happens to Jimmy and his friends then I did about Caveman. Basically all I remembered was Jimmy's dad is stupid, and "when I sneeze it looks like a advanced species too." and that's bc Jimmy Neutron is a completely vapid and inane tale with absolutely no message, that unfortunately did not stand the test of time to me personally. It's pretty much unremarkable. they try to mix the "he's a genius baby" humor with 5th grader booger jokes and it just doesn't work, the booger humor doesn't land for adults and the genius humor isn't quite smart enough to be actually funny most of the time. Tbqh I think watching this as an adult gives me more ideas for horror movies than anything else. They go into space ON ROLLER COASTERS, WITHOUT HELMETS!!! They're fighting an entire civilization of space traveling ritual sacrificing EGGS and they have A SINGULAR! ONE! CHILD! ARMY! TO FIGHT THEM!!!! THEY CANT BREATHE OUT THERE! that's too scary I can't take it seriously lmao. 4/10 with all positive points going to Jimmy's hot mom and himbo dad (ideal romance tbh and where 90% of the humor comes from), Carl, Sheen, and Cindy, for screaming "THOSE FINDINGS WERE INCONCLUSIVE AND YOU KNOW IT" during their first on screen fight, that joke did actually land so they can have a cookie for it. And the teacher who gets turned small and gets left that way forever. What the fuck lmao

We also watched Pocahontas and I mean. Even as a kid watching that one was more of a lesson in "here's how NOT to talk about history," and as an adult, her "romance" with John Smith is more weak and pathetic than anything I've ever seen before or since! We got to "Savages" and all I could think was "Disneys orchestra really put their whole pussy into this one, huh?!?" I wish I could say the rest of the movie/soundtrack made it worthwhile but I'm gonna go with a solid 2/10 here. we still had a fun time tearing into their choices, and the aesthetic of an old Disney movie watched on VHS like nature intended is a form of ASMR. I didn't realize how much I missed the clackety clack of the plastic cases or the smell of a warm, freshly rewound tape. <3 good shit.

Stay tuned for more of my 20 Years Later: VHS Reviews No One Fucking Asked For! we're holding out hope that her parents still have my friends own VHS collection bc her and her sister used to have a banging VHS collection and I NEED to see Quest for Camelot.