#im like 80% sure it pertains to a friend in some way but i don't even know which one
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drop--pop--candy · 5 months ago
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thinking abt The Memory Issues again. sad!
#marin complains#thinkin abt how hard it is to explain that my brain just throws out basically all my good memories#thinkin abt how no apologies will ever be enough for how awful of a friend i am because of that#thinkin abt how people automatically assume they must not be important enough if i forgot something#but it's not that at all!! if i've forgotten a lot about you you're probably MORE important to me than the average person#but nobody gets it!! because that's a strange and awful thing to do#and i wish it wasn't like this. but it is.#anyways this post is brought to you by me Knowing I'm Forgetting Something. but i don't know what#im like 80% sure it pertains to a friend in some way but i don't even know which one#i am such a terrible friend UGHHHHH can't remember anything#it's not at all because my friends aren't important enough. my friends are sososo important to me. but my brain only remembers bad things#the most important person in my life is my sister who i've spent my whole life with and i remember very little about her#because i've spent my whole life watching and protecting and on edge#and when you're constantly in fight or flight mode you don't have time to save the good memories#you have to stay vigilant. you have to memorize everything about the person who poses a threat#and so i did but it came at a cost#anyways. yea. friends if you're reading this i am so so so so so sorry god i'm so sorry i wish i could remember i really do#i try my hardesy i write things down when i'm able even though the risk is immense because of my mother#but it's just not enough it's never enough#i'm sorry i'm so sorry i don't expect you to ever forgive me but i hope you can find it in you somewhere
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cynical-bee · 8 years ago
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I DARE YOU TO DO THE 200 things you can put in my ask TEXT. YOU HAVE TO. I TRIPLE DOG DARE YOU.
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You suck, so much, Nen 
200: My crush’s name is:
me myself and I
199: I was born in:
the island of Oahu.
198: I am really:
GAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
197: My cellphone company is:
verizon
196: My eye color is:
green bitch
195: My shoe size is:
7 ½
194: My ring size is:
uhhh i dont wear rings my high school one is the only one i own and i wear it on a chain cause its too big
193: My height is:
5′3 and ½ but mentally I’m 6′2
192: I am allergic to:
raspberries, wool, and bad attitudes 
191: My 1st car was:
a 1999 blue Taurus 
190: My 1st job was:
A farm hand
189: Last book you read:
Jane Austins Pride and Prejudice
188: My bed is:
Nice? comfy? the place that i love?
187: My pet:
IS THE MOST ADORABLE DOGGOS EVER TO DOGGO
186: My best friend:
is really a bombass person i couldn’t have survived without her
185: My favorite shampoo is:
Redkin
184: Xbox or ps3:
PS3 i dont do xbox 
183: Piggy banks are:
my best friend, i have a cool coconut cat one that i named 
182: In my pockets:
i don’t have pockets but if i did
and it wasn’t fucking 4:16 in the morning
i would probably have my phone and pocket knives in them and my wallet
181: On my calendar:
I need to buy one of those
180: Marriage is:
a huge commitment 
179: Spongebob can:
wash my dishes
178: My mom:
is the strongest woman in this world.
177: The last three songs I bought were?
Omnia- prayer, one way living, and freedom song
176: Last YouTube video watched:
it was about making a giant slingshot rifle
175: How many cousins do you have?
dude i honestly cant even count that high
174: Do you have any siblings?
4 full blood, one adopted, 2 half blood and a lot of illegitimates that my dad has from affairs.
173: Are your parents divorced?
thankfully yeah 
172: Are you taller than your mom?
no, i wish she’s really fucking tall she’s 5′8
171: Do you play an instrument?
i play the guitar, flute, piano, and my throat
170: What did you do yesterday?
I hung out with my family and took my dogs for walks and shizzzzzz
[ I Believe In ]
169: Love at first sight
: no you cant love someone without knowing them
168: Luck:
Luck of the irish biiitch
167: Fate:
heck yeah man you don’t fuck with fate
166: Yourself:
ha sometimes 
165: Aliens:
there is no way our dumbasses are the only creatures living out in this space junkyard
164: Heaven:
i believe in the afterlife just not organized religion heaven
163: Hell:
i do, i believe in hell very much so
162: God:
i believe in spiritual beings I’m not sure about one god or whatever but i believe in a feeling i guess i believe theres probably something out there 
161: Horoscopes:
i think they are nice to know of but they don’t define anything 
160: Soul mates:
i believe theres many soulmates for people that everyone has someone somewhere that would be a great match for them
159: Ghosts
: i do i strongly believe in ghosts 
158: Gay Marriage:
marriage is a right not a privilege. love is love 
157: War:
i come from an army family and no one likes war but i believe war is necessary sometimes 
156: Orbs:
i don't even know what this means man the fuck are you asking me
155: Magic:
to an extent i do
[ This or That ]
154: Hugs or Kisses:
Hugs 
153: Drunk or High:
high 
152: Phone or Online:
online i never call places to order because i get nervous and stutter 
151: Red heads or Black haired:
black hair. i don’t like redheads ( sorry kyle, rachael, and declan) 
150: Blondes or Brunettes:
i like both equally
149: Hot or cold:
Hot weather is preferred over cold cause when its cold i don’t know where to put my hands 
148: Summer or winter:
winter because its acceptable to wear pants 24/7
147: Autumn or Spring:
autumn because when leaves change color its beautiful also its my birthday season 
146: Chocolate or vanilla:
both a chocolate vanilla twist is my favorite thing on earth
145: Night or Day:
night, it may be dark but its quiet and i feel like everything runs slowly and it just makes me feel more comfortable
144: Oranges or Apples:
apples but only the green ones.
143: Curly or Straight hair:
both but i like curly a little more,
i might be biased 
142: McDonalds or Burger King:
ew no fast food is disgusting. 
141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate:
milk chocolate 
140: Mac or PC:
i have a MAC but i like things about PCs a lil bit more I’m waiting for the love child between the two
139: Flip flops or high heals:
 uhh i don’t like flip-flops much but i don’t like heels much either can i get a pair of doc martens and call it square?
138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor:
sweet and poor. i would never want to be rich just to be rich (this pertains to personality right???)
137: Coke or Pepsi:
i don't taste a difference
136: Hillary or Trump :
Hillary. i wish she was my president.
135: Burried or cremated:
Im not sure but i mean I’m dead so i guess it won’t matter 
134: Singing or Dancing:
singing i cant dance for my life and the only time i do is in my room 
133: Coach or Chanel:
uhhhhh what even
132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks:
i don't know who these people are but i don’t like the name Taylor anymore so lets go with the Nanny Mcphee chick.
131: Small town or Big city:
i like both but recently I’ve been craving city life probably cause i spent everything before now in small towns and army bases 
130: Wal-Mart or Target:
Target fo sho 
129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler:
Adam Sandler 
128: Manicure or Pedicure:
neither i don’t like when people touch me like that 
127: East Coast or West Coast:
East coast i grew up on the west 
126: Your Birthday or Christmas:
neither, holidays make me sad in all honesty.
125: Chocolate or Flowers:
flowers, if someone gives me flowers i get really happy they’re much more special than chocolates 
124: Disney or Six Flags:
i haven't been to an amusement park since i was 8 so idk man. but i guess Disney
123: Yankees or Red Sox:
YANKEES!!!!!  FUCK THE SOX
[ Here’s What I Think About ]
122: War:
War is a necessary evil from time to time.
121: George Bush:
He is a great Texan man.
120: Gay Marriage:
IS A RIGHT!
119: The presidential election:
 people need to actually start going out to vote 
118: Abortion: …
117: MySpace: ha this is so fucking old 116: Reality TV: trash
115: Parents:
also trash sometimes 
114: Back stabbers:
need to not 
113: Ebay:
is a lie and a very untrustworthy site
 112: Facebook:
is where people go to be fake ass bitches 
111: Work:
monaaayyyyyyyyyy
110: My Neighbors:
are really fake 
109: Gas Prices:
too high man 
108: Designer Clothes:
are dumb and honestly just a ploy
107: College:
is necessary for a good job yet so fucking expensive and really stressful I’m dying please help me 
106: Sports:
are my life 
105: My family:
is a mess 
104: The future:
is unknown 
[ Last time I ]
103: Hugged someone:
 uhh like 3 days ago
102: Last time you ate:
i don’t remember 
101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: 
uhhlast week sometime
100: Cried in front of someone:
last wednesday is the last time i fully broke down in front of people.
99: Went to a movie theater:
uhmmmmmm…last monday????  to GOTG2?
98: Took a vacation: 
I’m on one rn 
97: Swam in a pool:
dude last summer
96: Changed a diaper:
yesterday
95: Got my nails done
: i cant remember 
94: Went to a wedding:
last week 
93: Broke a bone:
3 years ago
92: Got a peircing:
dude so fucking long ago 
91: Broke the law:
ALL DAY ER DAY BITCH
90: Texted:
i don't know i think like maybe 2 hours ago
[ MISC ]
89: Who makes you laugh the most:
 Kyle probably 
88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is:
my bed and my moms voice
87: The last movie I saw:
in theaters- GOTG2 , at home- Pride and Prejudice (1940)
86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most:
seeing my friends 
85: The thing im not looking forward to:
having to interact with a lot of people
84: People call me:
Lou, Louie 
83: The most difficult thing to do is:
Be heard
82: I have gotten a speeding ticket:
never 
81: My zodiac sign is:
Virgo
80: The first person i talked to today was:
 Kyle i think
79: First time you had a crush:
uhhhh i had a crush on Connor Tustin and we pretended to be married in kindergarten 
78: The one person who i can’t hide things from:
honestly probably Nen they see right through me 
77: Last time someone said something you were thinking:
like an hour and a half ago
76: Right now I am talking to:
Margaret
75: What are you going to do when you grow up:
Be famous duh, nah imma be a scientist bitch
74: I have/will get a job:
i have one and i need another
73: Tomorrow:
is saturday and i have a busy schedule 
72: Today:
is friday and i have so much shit to do man
71: Next Summer:
i need to work harder
70: Next Weekend:
i cant plan that far ahead
69: I have these pets:
Roxy and Dino
 68: The worst sound in the world:
 when their voice cracks when they’re crying 
67: The person that makes me cry the most is:
uhhhhh?
66: People that make you happy:
my friends 
65: Last time I cried:
3 days ago…did i not just answer this????
64: My friends are:
bunch of fucking nerds
63: My computer is:
a mac and is dumb but also nice 
62: My School:
is religious and hates me 
61: My Car:
is dead and totaled 
60: I lose all respect for people who:
cheat, lie, and anyone who is disrespectful to strangers.
59: The movie I cried at was: 
guardians of the galaxy 2
58: Your hair color is:
Dirty blonde 
57: TV shows you watch:
Orphan black, game of thrones, OUAT, etc.
56: Favorite web site:
tumblr ( i have no life)
55: Your dream vacation:
backpacking across america a new country each summer 
54: The worst pain I was ever in was:
when i broke my ankle.
53: How do you like your steak cooked:
carrots 
52: My room is:
miiiiineee get out 
51: My favorite celebrity is:
Evelyne Brochu
50: Where would you like to be:
Idk man i guess Paris would be pretty chill
49: Do you want children:
i am not pushing an alien out of my stomach
48: Ever been in love:
yeah.
47: Who’s your best friend:
Im not sure i learned some stuff about best friends earlier from Declan and Nen and i don’t really know if i can have one
46: More guy friends or girl friends:
I’m friends with more guys 
45: One thing that makes you feel great is:
brushing my teeth man its so fucking fresh 
44: One person that you wish you could see right now:
 i don’t like people 
43: Do you have a 5 year plan:
academically yeah 
42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die:
I have
41: Have you pre-named your children:
no who the fuck does that 
40: Last person I got mad at:
Myself 
39: I would like to move to:
NYC, Hawaii, or Florida, or maybe out of country
38: I wish I was a professional:
Idk man something that makes money
[ My Favorites ]
37: Candy:
Twizzlers 
36: Vehicle:
Jeep Wrangler 
35: President:
Teddy Rosevelt 
34: State visited:
NY
33: Cellphone provider:
Verizon? how do i favorite a provider????
32: Athlete:
i don't have one 
31: Actor:
Evelyne brochu
30: Actress: 
Evelyne Brochu again
29: Singer:
STEVIE NICKS 
28: Band:
Omnia 
27: Clothing store:
Platos closet 
26: Grocery store: 
Publix 
25: TV show:
Orphan Black
24: Movie:
Pride and prejudice 
23: Website:
Vat19.com
22: Animal:
Lions 
21: Theme park:
Hershey park?
20: Holiday:
Halloween
19: Sport to watch:
baseball
18: Sport to play:
Rugby
17: Magazine:
uhhhhh do people actually read those?
16: Book:
Pride and Prejudice 
15: Day of the week:
i like wednesdays cause they’re the middle 
14: Beach:
ANY OF THEM
13: Concert attended:
Stevie Nicks 
12: Thing to cook:
Mac and Cheese 
11: Food:
Spaghetti 
10: Restaurant:
Mexican Food Factory 
9: Radio station:
92.5 
8: Yankee candle scent:
I don’t have a favorite but probably something like cinnamon or piney or something 
7: Perfume:
Daisy by Marc Jacobs 
6: Flower:
Skullcap
5: Color: 
Turquoise
4: Talk show host:
Colbert 
3: Comedian:
Amy Schumer 
2: Dog breed:
Beagle/ Basset Mix, or English Setters 
1: Did you answer all these truthfully?
i did indeed
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