#im lazy i was gonna add stars but i forgot also its 2 almost 3 am and i need to sleep

[qiekz]

oooh im so eepyy

plz reblog

f2u if u credit me :]

[hdawg1995]

DnD Antics: the tree spirit dies at midnight...

so today was fun! quick summary (not everything but like the major/funny bits)

the necromancer got drunk, Ranger’s animals arn’t happy, and the one time the bard doesnt do an arcane knowledge check...and other things happen!

so yeah! hydra had a mate...with 30 heads...  DM: you see shiny things at the bottom of the deeper part of the lake. shafeek: imma go down there Ryan (spine): im going with him! ryan (frost): same envoy: DON’T DIE! frost: NO PROMISES!

they find the remains of one of the DM’s former games; “they were a joke campaign but kinda not. they once made a bucket and enchanted it to summon fried chicken. they gave it to a king in order to gain his favor.” the party consisted of bacon bits the wizard (blue star cloak+hat and staff) a nameless knight (plate mail, 2 bags of holding, long sword) a bard named bard marly (black turtle neck, a beret, bongos and 2 daggers) a rouge who juts so happened to be named mcgiee (fishface family cloak-PURELY because of the concordance- 2 daggers) and a witcher (2 legendary swords). 

being the bard i got all the old bard’s stuff... which was cursed...

DM: you have to speak in a french accent me: i can’t DO a french accent D: imma just do remove curse. DM: do what? me: remove cu- oh fight me... linsy: sure you can! just add a Z to everything! me: *makes at least 10 attempts. resorts to just head nods.*

we get everyone out before the hydra’s mate wakes up. meanwhile the bear is very upset about being dropped like a potato nuke on the hydra, the griffion is scared of the bear, and the poor spider is so scared shes hugging onto Vale for dear life. she goes full blown face hugger at one point the poor thing is so scared.

me: *attempts a french accent again*....zhe at is curewsed. DM: *losing it* ryans: *knee slapping laughing*

we get the rod and take the path out of the maze. also Spine found some lake moss which was near the hydra nest which Nazul ALMOST STOLE AN EGG FROM (you guys don’t know this, but during our first inconuter kinda spine and the samurai went missing due to spelunking in a cave full of spider eggs. spine and nazul basically recreated a under water version of these events).

rolls a nat 1 while trying to make it a lazy boy chair. sets my house on fire.

envoy: YOU ARUE ZHE GROUHNDAD, ZPINE! spine: but- envoy: FIX YAT! spine: how- envoy: YOUR ZOOR? ZE GONE! 

it gets fixed and spine helps but he is still grounded. his door is just s sticker in the house to let people know where his room is but yeah. no door.

envoy: *uses remove curse* hat: hon hon hon you fool! zhere is but won way to remove me! me: ZEIPLOMACY! hat: to remove ze naughty beret, you must hit ze two headed monkey ze proper way. me: two headed monkey? linsy: do we have to punch Tim in the nuts?

envoy gets a nat 20 on playing the bongos and the hat falls off. arcane check shows that who ever wears the hat can cast a 6 level bard spell (even if they arn’t a bard).

envoy has a snow ball fight with gnome children. it is glorious. they built a fort. the yak made a snowball bigger than the gnome houses. anyone that dared to talk with the bard (or in spine’s case just happen to be in rage) was pelted with snowballs.

vale: envo- *snowball misses her*... Envoy can you do a arcane check for me? envoy: sure! *checks* your hydra bone arrows, when you fire them, turn into TWO arrows. vale: thanks! *throws a snowball at envoy. leaves* envoy: *THUMBS UP!*

spine uses word of recall after frost crystal used it to go find a new pet with the ranger. he goes back to see our friends sperlock hobbles and plotson! he also gets drunk... i repeat- the necromancer got drunk.

spine: PLOTSSSON! howsss the town doing ssshow me around! *note: ryan is swinging his arms around* DM: he takes you out of the office and shows you the town. Spine: wait i... i forgot my clock. *hugs cloak* need my clock. DM: you put your cloak on and he shows you the town. roll reflex. ryan (spine): *fails* DM: your coin purse is stolen. Spine: PLOTSSON! THERE THEY! *falls over* ryan (spine): i scry my hand to see where my gold is. Spine: *holding the bottle of liqure and using it to see his gold in the reflexion* where is dissss?

they eventually find who stole it. the halfling child who survived the accidental slaughter of her faimly at the hands of Spine and the witcher. Spine sees her and casts a grabby demon hand spell.

Spine: don-t... sorry she is alive jussst captured *toung thing snakes do* splotson: and how do you know that? spine:...MAGIC EYES! *hes not lying* splotson: go home Spine you’re drunk Spine: but my gold. splotson: go home you’re drunk Spine: but my gold. splotson: Spine. spine: i wanna talk to her. splotson: i don’t think i want you to talk to her. Spine: but i wanna. someone steal’s Spine’s backpack and Splotston runs after them. Spine get to where the halfling is and it turns out it was a dummy, but there is a decoder device. rolls a nat 1.

DM: you speak into it. “hello?” “hello.” “who is this?” “who is this?” “Spine” “who is spine?” “who IS Spine?” roll to be interstitial. Ryan (spine): *fails* DM: you are now having a existential crisis.

mean while more snowball fights. Envoy has in listened the children into pelting the witcher. also she plays a song that makes it rain snowballs.

Frost crystal and Vale go on a hunt with a giant wolf pack! (well the wolves are giant, the pack is just the mommy and 3 pups) they track a dire moose but it was killed by a frost giant which SUCKED cause now they have to fight the giant and they break it’s legs and cut its hand off and it flails and kills the mamma :( vale is saved by The Hunt and it’s divine intervention, one of the pups saved Frost crystal and is now her new pet.

elizander: Envoy, could you make a planter for me in the pokeball? Envoy, atop the yak:.....BEAT ME IN A SNOWBALL FIGHT AND WE’LL THINK ABOUT IT! elizander: *pelts envoy with snowballs, knocking her off the yak* HA! envoy: *nat 20 on a snowball. hits eli in the face and knocks him down* Nazul: *shadow teleports and buries Eli in snow. DM: you start to feel the affects of the snowballs. its very very cold.

Zack’s wife informs him that she is pregnant. he also admits that he touched the hag’s butt so shes not happy.

envoy: *throws snowball at zack* Zack: *catches it. throws it on the ground* envoy: you suck at fun, your kid is gonna be so bored.

vale and frost are off on their own adventure, so is tim and his wife. Spine was told to go home cause he was drunk so he went home.... to the swamp... so Envoy, Nazul, and Elizander go on an adventure!

Nazul: we should play a game. i spy with my little eye- envoy: *throws snowball at elizander* elizander: *throws snowball at envoy who ducks and it hits Nazul.* Nazul: *nat 20 on a tackle and pelts eli with snow* yak: *buries them both in snow. starts rolling giant snowball with Witcher and ghost boy inside*

envoy learned a song that summons snowballs from the sky

also the witcher and Zack met a very gay and very flamboyant saitr. he had kidnapped them and taken them to the fay wild. i left the table at this bit so i don’t know how they got away. all i know is the satir really really really liked the witcher.

frost got a wolf, spine was teleported back via death.

Spine: *summons litch* hey do you have anything that can get me from here to the gnome city? litch (tiffiny): yeah but you’re not gonna like it. Spine: why? *dies* spine: *clawing his way out of a shallow grave in the gnome city* NOPE. I DID NOT LIKE THAT.

envoy: *flying through the sky on a yak* Spine: *flys up* HI MINION! envoy: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

nazul: *enters center of market* ANYONE KNOW WHERE THE BLACK MARKET IS? random gnome: what the FUCK are you doing? shut up! gnome police: *shows up* who was yelling about the black market? nazul: him *points to gnome* gnome: *is dragged away kicking and screaming* DM: the only person who could have showed you where the black market is is now being dragged to prison.... shafeek: breaking out of jail is easssssy!

they bust the gnome out and he tells him how to get there. Nazul then kills him.

spine... is hella shady. he gets into the black market and gets a tree spirit and a black sapphire. its midnight as he flies back to the grave yard to murder the tree spirit and imprisions the soul into the gem. he then drops the gem+tree spirit = death seed into his necropolisp. he now has stronger zombies and the ones that needed to regenerate due to the nuke will regen 4X faster.

at this point i had to go home, so there was probably 1-2 hours more of antics

see you next week!