#im kinda running on not enough sleep but i meant to say we dont share today's particular class.

[misfortunegirl]

bro i really am just.

😀

i am just fucking sitting.

[not-me-simping-for-blasty]

some soft!bakugou brainrot for the soul:

-he likes when you greet him in the morning. will absolutely roll his eyes and say sum “jesus, idiot, it’s too fuckin’ early for pathetic enthusiam like that” but will also simultaneously get pouty if u dont say hi to him first

-very much a quiet boy when it’s late at night. will just sit back with his eyes half-lidded and head in his hands, giving a little “mhm” to everything you say. you think he’s not listening but when you don’t finish a thought he will, without missing a beat go “the hell? really? gonna talk that much and then not even finish the story?”

-will cook meals that you like but will insist that he likes them too. bakugou is 100% trying to convince you that he made it for himself but the entire extra portion with your favorite toppings implies the opposite

-pays attention to what you’re doing in training, and will not outright tell you if you’re doing well,, but when ur alone he’ll just sorta “you looked less pathetic than last time, dumbass” with a slight smirk as he brushes past you

-likes to bicker,, i mean come on, obviously, but what i mean is that he just looks so weirdly happy when u yell at him (def goes heart eyes but literally do not say a word about it pls)

-goes very soft for hand massages,,, just like, ground ur thumb into the heel of his hand and rub at his knuckles. man’s will melt into wherever he’s sitting and close his eyes

-will absolutely bite your head off if you’re reckless, but then spend the rest of his time trying to think of ways to avoid u ever being in that much danger again

-remembers places you’ve been together very clearly. so like, if y’all wanna revisit some restaurant, bakugou is leading the way and ur just like “??? that was 6 months ago how do u know where you’re going” ,, n he just scoffs and “because i’m the best. now shut up and pay attention we’re about to cross the street”

-is very soft about u wearing his clothes but only when no one else is around to see it. idk contrary to popular belief i actually see him being very flustered by the sight of u in his clothes. so he won’t let u wear anything around others rlly, but when it’s just him??? poor bby is so soft for it. like, v much hiding his red face in your neck and just breathing u in type of soft

-has a specific blanket that he keeps for when u hang out. eventually it starts to smell like you, bc obviously, n he’ll cuddle up with it when you can’t be with him

-adores when you sing to him. 100% doesn’t matter if you’re good or not,, bakugou just likes that you don’t do it in front of anyone else

-likes when you get needlessly angry with him. idk how to explain it,, but just like, if he’s bitching at one of his friends and you back him up, purely bc u like the chaos, bakugou will be totally 🥰 over it. only after he’s done yelling tho

-mans has a thing for praise. he does. we been knew. but he rlly has an even bigger thing for mundane praise, like rlly small things like, “wow your handwriting is so neat” or “omg your room is so clean! you’re so organized!”,,, jus tiny stuff in passing that let’s him kno he’s doing good

-will absolutely not admit it but he 100% prays for lint on his uniform so you’ll brush it off for him. it’s like, a tiny little touch, just enough to sate him, but not so much that it feels like embarrassing pda

-is a sucker for someone he can just sit in silence with. like idk, if y’all noticed it, but he literally has like, nothing to say when he’s not bitching, so if he’s not angry he’ll just be quiet. if u can be quiet with him, in the same space but not talking, bakugou is a very happy boy about it

-he likes to know things about you no one else does,, so if u tell him anything in confidence, literally anything, he’ll keep it secret. 100% every time, no exceptions, will never spill a single detail even if someone is begging him to

-probably demands that u say u love him multiple times before y’all go to sleep. its the only affection he outright asks for so u give in every time

-shares whatever he has with u. just wordlessly will hand u a piece of whatever he’s eating. doesn’t warn u if it’s spicy tho,, bc he’s still a little shit

-sort of just follows you wherever you’re going. like, if u tell him u want to be alone he’ll leave, but otherwise he just kinda assumes he’s meant to follow. most times he’s right

-he is 100% the type to know something is wrong without u having to say it. he prob knows exactly what it is too. lmao like, sure, he’s still totally clueless on how to approach/support you but bakugou is the furthest thing from dumb. he knows,, he just does.

-gets super protective about your things. like, god forbid somebody try to write anything in ur notebook while you’re not paying attention,, bakugou’ll threaten them before their pen even touches the paper

-he likes to tend to your injuries. like, even the rlly minor ones. like, let’s say u get a papercut??? pls mans is grabbing your finger, running it under water, and wrapping a bandaid around it before u even register it. he’ll grumble the whole time like “jesus, dumbass, can’t believe i have to do this.” but rlly he enjoys doing it bc it makes him feel important. like maybe he’s someone heroic to u

-if no one else is around, and there’s a lot of trust established, he’ll prob do whatever u tell him to. now ofc there’s gonna be a lot of complaining, bc it’s bakugou, but he’ll do it

-is a big fan of when you tell him he’s your favorite. pls the man is so see-through ahaha,, u could be like “omg! bakugou! you took out the trash without me asking?? that’s why you’re my favorite!” n all he walks away hearing is “they think im the best. i fucking am the best.”

-he likes to watch you do mundane things. like rlly little, every-day things like brushing your hair or tying your shoes. idk he just thinks your methodical movements are weirdly calming

-is a sucker for forehead kisses. like obvi, only when y’all are alone, but like, press a kiss to his hairline?? suddenly it’s rip angry bakugou, soft bakugou hrs only

-doesn’t rlly initiate touch that much,, but when he does mans is extremely petulant about it. like, if u decide u have something more pressing than him, bakugou is almost immeadiately going “that’s fucking stupid. what you’re doing. you should stop.” n then he’s just poking and prodding and needling at u until u fall into his arms

-shadows you at social gatherings. very guard-dog like from an outsider perspective, but rlly it’s just bc when katsuki says he doesn’t like anyone else, he means it. he’s sticking by you bc you truly are the only one he tolerates

-he secretly rlly likes when u fuss over him. like, when u ask him if he’s sore from training or if he has any injuries. bakugou will brush u off like the absolute bitch that he is, but secretly he’ll be so warm about it. he just likes that u care enough to ask

-he tries very hard to be gentle for u. ofc it pretty much never works bc it’s him, but he’ll still forever be reading romance manga n going “yeah, i bet they’d like that. gonna it do it way better though. im the fucking best, i can do it.”

ahahaaha me?? a bunch of bakugou thoughts?? never, idk what ur on about

[shyrose57]

2: At first? No. Ran was the first one who noticed when something was off but Ranbob brushed it off as him being tired. Though when he saw that his brother was still acting that way he kept checking in, til "Ranbob" eventually snapped at him one day, scaring and hurting Ran enough to get him to stop. His parents and Lias and Memi also noticed, but Lias and Memi didn't ask as often because Ran told them not too, and when Memi asked Ranbob gently told her its ok and to not worry. Lias was hesitant to accept this but eventually did, with Ranbob promising to tell him if something was wrong, a promise he sadly broke. Ranbob was close to his family, especially his younger siblings, and loved to play and study with them. He had a lot of friends at first that he played games with and joked around with. Though after he started to get out under more pressure and the introduction of Dream he got distant, lost all of his friends (even though he still cared for them), didn't play with Lias or Memi nearly as much, started skipping dinners and not talking to his parents or Ran. And when Dream was mostly and fully in control, he stopped talking at all, and ignored everyone. Lias desperately tried to get him to talk but that just resulted in a harsh stare with a silent promise, Memi tried to hug him, which he then pushed her away, and when Ran tried one last time to talk to him, but "Ranbob" just punched him and walked away. When his parents tried one very last time to intervene, that's when it got fatal. The Gladiators where horrified at what they read, finding it hard to believe and making them sick to their stomach. Benjamin caught them reading it, though he simply sadly smiled at them and said, "I read it too. Its horrible isn't it? He didn't deserve to go through that. But we'll help him. We'll help him be free and be himself again, I promise you, and everyone else. We'll save him." They felt like they where staring at a ghost, it was unnerving, to see such a happy and young Ranbob, knowing what will happen to him that will wipe him clean of all happiness. And it felt disrespectful when they caught sights of Ranya, Seth, Lias, and Memi. Cause they never knew them, and now they where looking into the such happy and gleeful eyes of dead people who don't know the torture their son and brother is going through. (And that went for everyone)

3: This is literally Ran's mentally when it comes to being stabbed, "I've been stabbed multiple times before and I haven't died. Therefor, I am immortal." Yes he is :). He gets threatened with Benjamin because if Benjamin finds out he isn't eating or sleeping Benjamin will force him to eat every bite of a full meal and force him to go to bed, sitting next to him and reading to him until he falls asleep. Which sounds nice, but considering Ranbob doesnt want to "bother" them, its a threat to him. Raq will always cause problems, he's a expert tracker and because of that he's able to hunt the groups down. He often will pop out of nowhere and attack the group, chasing them down until someone turns around and attacks him. Often Ran attacks him by looking Raq directly in his eyes, causing him to flee. Cause even though Raq wants to get Ran, he knows very well if they make eye contact he will lose a battle no matter what he does, so its best to run and attempt to blind him at a later point. Ran his very happy to be on the road again, and if Ranbob wasn't there (who's keeping Ran on edge and preventing him from fully enjoying the trip, though its mostly just Ran doing it to himself), he would be non-stop talking and running ahead of the group. But even with Ranbob there he's happy to finally be moving again. 

4: The gladiators did not witness it first hand, rather they heard screaming and went to check it out, worried and alarmed. And when Ranbob went into the depressive state did Benjamin come over to them and explain what was going on and what was going to happen. When then Jackie offered to help keep Ranbob company while Grievous and Watson offered to go along with Cletus to find Ran. When they heard the scream Jackie was scared and nervous, Grievous was anxious and on edge, Watson was calm yet curious, and Ran was mad and on edge. And when they found out what happened, Jackie felt bad and sympathetic, Grievous felt sad and a bit guilty, Watson was sympathetic and felt bad for him, and Ran was pissed. 

5: Isaac and Benjamin just kinda accepted it and went "Yes he is like a lost puppy and we love him for that.", Charles was embarrassed and instead of responding properly he muttered out an excuse and left, cause he was not expecting to be confronted with Ranbob being like a puppy at all and didn't know how to respond, and Cletus just stuck his tounge out and blew raspberries. And Ranbob was just purely embarrassed. 

6: Actually first thing Ranbob got when he arrived to the fishermen house was wrapped up in multiple fluffy blankets and had a hot chocolate shoved in his hands. Also whenever he goes into a depressive episode or wants to go back the fishermen just bring out emergency blankets and quickly make either hot chocolate or tea and Ranbob loves it every single time. 

7: Ranbob is mixed, he loves it being back as it reminds him of such good times, but it also doesn't feel right when Charles says it because Ran was the one who made it. It only sounds right when Ran says it. Ran is angry that Ranbob is letting someone else call him Bobby (which he is also sad about), but is also mad that he's mad that someone else is using it. But he's also happy its being used again, and is happy to see Ranbob still enjoys it. Grievous of course notices it, but doesnt look into it, and so does Watson but he also doesn't ask about it, determing it to be something the brothers themselves have to talk about. 

8:Because if it was Porkius or literally anyone else, they wouldn't of helped and would've watched happily as the two fought, waiting until one fell and even encouraging the fight. But they also jumped into the area from the stands and Cletus specifically placed himself between the two, pushing Ran back and yelling at him (which rarely anyone does) when Benjamin then came up to try to calm the raging enderman down, while Charles checked on Ranbob, and Isaac kept look out for any sudden movements between the two so he could intercept the potential attack. Plus when Isaac saw the other group approaching he ran to meet them, asking if they knew Ran and when they said yes, quickly stating a plan to safely restrain Ran long enough until Ranbob was taken to safety. Then leaving Ran to the group, but also saying how he wanted to talk later. 

10: Sounds like the certain town just may be the ruins of the Greater SMP. So I'll probably have Wilburs Decendent (which I dont currently have a name for, if anyone has one please feel free to suggest one!) As a popular performer there and also the towns historian, so when our groups get there Wilbur is able to provide information about Dream, Ranboo, basically everyone and the history of the SMP. Most likely going be a part of the story when Ran truly starts to slowly believe that his brother didn't meant to do everything he did. 

11: Yep, he knows Ranboo used to have bad memory (not how bad it was, just that it was bad) but he's never read it because Mizu never had the actual book, it was only told in tales and stories that Mizu had. If that makes sense. Ranbob will get plenty more hugs I promise you, though that also means he gets hurt more. 

12: Kinda but also cause I enjoy writing angst. 

Ok ok here's some fluff: These all take place a good week or 2 (or longer) after Ran forgives his brother and the relationship gets better. Watson walks in on the two sharing a blanket and sleeping against eachother. With them leaning on eachother and leaving almost no space between them. Ran finally calls Ranbob Bobby again and Ranbob cries and hugs his brother tightly, Ran is shocked but quickly hugs back just as tightly. Ranbob gets to finally pull a big brother move and tease Ran about his "nerdy" habit of reading so many books, Ran tries to fire back that Ranbob literally picked a idol that requires you to be a bookworm but he simply shoots back that Technoblade also requires you to be a bookworm. Its been spotted multiple times of either Ran or Ranbob having their tail wrapped around his brothers wrist or leg, and the two aren't very far apart now. Jackie jokes about being replaced by Ranbob and being heartbroken, basically draping himself over Ran and whining while everyone else laughs at Rans distress. Ran and Ranbob eventually agree to merge their two hauntings, which is extremely rare and is the biggest sign of trust and love there is in enderman language. Ran reads to Ranbob one night after a bad relapse, which ends up soothing Ranbob much sooner than anything else. 

I also have a more mythical idea of fluff that probably wont be in the main story, but im willing to share it if you want. 

2: Only his family noticed? Dang, okay. I’m irrationally attached to his siblings now that they have names, and this only hurts me. Do the gladiators have any noticeable changes in behavior towards Ranbob and Ran after reading it? Also, who may Ranya and Seth be? I don’t believe I saw them mentioned earlier.

3: Technically, he’s right. He hasn’t died yet, anon, and he’s been stabbed multiple times, he could very well be immortal. I guess he should probably do his best to not get stabbed again though, I hear it’s kind of bad for you. 

Ranbob: *Not doing something he should do for his own health*

Benjamin: *Self Care But As A Threat(Gently)*

Ranbob:

Ranbob: *Does it*

Also, even though I acknowledge that Raq could be a genuine threat, all I can imagine are Team Rocket shenanigans. He keeps trying to blind him in various, complicated ways, and fails hilariously. One time he actually manages to do it only for Jackie to take him out or for him to turn around and accidentally look Ranbob straight in the eyes cause the poor hybrid was trying to knock him out without a fight.

4: Yikes, that must have been pretty scary, just hearing everything go down. If I may ask, what exactly happened with Ranbob? You said there was screaming?

5: Well, at least everyone’s come to terms with it. Ran uses people as tote bags, and Ranbob is the local puppy, and it is what it is.

6: Very good! He needs it! Also, do they just keep them on hand? Just-he looks a tiny bit sad and Benjamin pulls blanket and tea out of thin air and burritos him. 

7: Aww. But also, ouch. Oh well. At least we can get Ran eventually picking the nickname up again.

8: Oh? Interesting. Sounds like these guys are pretty quick on their feet. I can see why it’d impress the gladiators.

10: That? Sounds so cool? Oh, I really like that honestly, I can’t wait to see where you take that.

11: Neat. Is that where he got the idea for his diary, or? And why? Why must we suffer in order to take comfort from the kinder things in life? Why can’t Ranbob just have hugs without pain? 

12: Did you genuinely just admit to aiming for my feelings with that last one?! Anon, how could you! I’ve been injured! My heart, Anon! 

13: AWWWW. To all of this. So fluffy, and cute! Just what we needed, thank you! Also, more fluff, you say? Please share, we need all the fluff we can get.

Have a good week, Brothers Anon, and thank you for the lovely fluff, and equally lovely pain. I’m excited for more!

[sukirichi]

[ BROKEN RECORDS ; asks ] 

💌 — love letter from @kyriaan​

from track 007. 

Okay okay im still kinda meh'ish' but i really wanted to answer you so 😭 ill try to compile both my answer to your answer on my love letter and my hyped review on track 7 <3 so yeah another long ass rant from me 😩💕Suki... Suki pls I totally forgot Tsumu had a crush on us Suki... And then poor Tsumu ir there sulking cause he still likes u- JFBFBDVDVSJCHDHSIA omfg i wanted so much to hug him my baby I like him so much 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 and he was trying so hard to behave while just sitting there sad fhfhfvbbshsjfhbdjaofhffhsoshd TSUMU YOU'RE STILL IN MY TOP 3 BABY 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂 

And then you throw the whole dancing scene with suna and I dont know whos on my top 3 anymore 🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃 SUKIIIIIIII THAT SCENE ALONE GJGJBFBSJCNFNKSOSNF OMFG IM FALLING SO HARD FOR SUNA I THINK? I think my top 3 had 4 dudes in it cause 3rd place has Suna and Atsumu tied?? Hfhfbfbfhdhsja I CANT PICK?? BUT BUT I WAS FEELING STUPIDLY DOWN WHEN READING THAT AND THAT SCENE ALONE MADE ME FEEL SO SOFT IT WAS SO CUTE AND OMG IF SUNA DID THAT TO ME I WOULD DROP ON MY KNEES AND ASK HIM TO MARRY ME CAUSE OMFGGGFFFF DUDE EVEN WENT AHEAD AND SAID THAT WHOLE 'HES GOING TO BE ONE LUCKY GUY'

Oh shit im crying again that scene lets me emotional 😭😭😭😭 someone get me a sunrin irl pls

Anyways the way that suna knows y/n is just.... FUCKING END UP TOGETHER ALREADY FOR THE LOVE OF GOD JUST JBVSHSJBEHSISJ

Also how powerful are we?? HOW FUCKING POWERFUL ARE WE TO SCORE SUNA KITA AND TSUMU?? ARE YOU GONNA TELL. ME IF OIKAWA MOFO TOORU APPEARED HE WOULD ALSO BE ON HIS KNEES FOR US?? (okay no wait... No nooo i would legit drop anyones ass for tooru hes that powerful for me like sorry suna was fun but TOORU)

Yo nah but the whole Kita sex scene- let me breath bestie LET ME BREATH CAUSE I WAS HOT BUT AT SAME TIME I WAS FEELING GUILTY 😂😂😂😂 ESPECIALLY WHEN HE WAS FEELING DISAPPOINTED NEXT DAY LIKE KITA PLS BABY WHAT WERE YOU EXPECTING?? 😬😬😬😬 But at same time his 'ill fuck the thought of him out of you tonight' I ALMOST MOANED YASSSSS TELL ME DADDY HOLY SHITTTTT

👀👀👀👀 Still not a kita simp ✌️✌️🤏✌️

Okay Kita deserves the best tho I mean okay he went there as a y/n mom's plan but he did ended up helping alot... Especially cause he knows no matter what y/n heart will always be suna's and pls give Kita the best ending possible cause he deserves someone who will trully love him and show him the world cause mah boy deserves it

*breaths in breaths out* i hated this scene- not in a bad way but shit i hate rejections... To the point im kinda afraid of confessing now cause i despise the feeling of being rejected... The best i can descrive it it like this coldness in your chest that descends your whole body and then you feel frozen in place.. Thats how it feels for me I hate it I absolutely despise it- its also the feeling i have when in a really bad situation and ugh...

The suna part made. Me feel this no matter how many times i reread it the feeling doesnt lessen it keeps being there cause (okay you probably are tired already of me saying this but) Suki I feel like I cant put it in words how much of a fucking good of a writer you are. Ill go ahead and say you are by far my favorite writer the fact i always feel so engaged and the fact i always feel like im there its just- it blows my mind.

I felt like suna was personally rejecting me and i hated it- i swear the moment he said prove it I almost screamed HOW? My brain had to take a moment to just slap me and say: 'kya you reading this is not happening chill-' cause i was already sobbing uncontrollably... I even whimpered the dont leave me 😬 my sadass went to bed feeling so sad thanks to suna... Man i wanted so much to hug him and i swear i would give him as much love as he gave y/n cause well i kin suna alot in this series cause im like that im a giver i treat others the way i would like to be treated (reason why ive been down lately ✌️) and i cant blame suna for finally setting boundaries- his call tho 'do i not stand a chance with you anymore y/n? Are you really not capable of falling in love with me?".... Oh suna... We are in love with you.. We always were we're just fucking stupid 😩

Also mari pls go jump off a cliff <3 youre in need dear cause sleeping with other man just to separate suna and y/n <3 i want so much to punch her 🙂🙃

Now for the love letter part (im so sorry for this being so long ✌️)

You said that if we asked suna he woukd say that he genuinely loved mari okay... Ill go ahead and say yes he liked mari he even learned how to love her and he genuinely cared for her BUT and heres where my personal view comes in so maybe ill be biased here still for me that was just a he loves her as in he cares you also love your friends and care for them but he didnt love her- and by this I mean- he could never be fully committed for her. Yes he loved her and he felt happy with her but like track 7 proved everything he would do in the back of his mind was y/n he deeply wished Mari was her and for that he just loved Mari cause he learned how to care about her- but he never forgot who he trully was in love it. Also the happiness he experienced with Mari was pretty much the one I experienced the bliss of having someone there and that bliss also made suna turn a blind eye to all the red flags from Mari cause to him all the jealousy meant she cared and thats toxic but suna was so desperate for some sort of 'she cares' that even all the possessiveness was bliss for him... And that makes my heart clench for suna...

'suna had to put an effort for the relationship' and saddly i feel like mari didnt... Mari didnt care mari was there because she was a fangirl of suna and got lucky, the way she just discarded him so effortlessly that proved-screamed how much she loved him- she didnt. She was just possessive over him she liked the whole 'hes mine' dynamic and suna was the perfect boyfriend cause he was giving her the world... What he wanted someone to do for him.

Also yeah suna and y/n might have been spurred from them being fuck buddies but well love doesnt really have an agenda- they just clicked, understood each other and had chemistry yeah they had tons and tons of sex but feelings started not because of sex but thanks to their deep connection... Also that dsncing scene in track 7 that alone spoke for their whole relationship- that alone is enough to defend their feelings for each other- yes it might jave started just as fuck buddies but ended up in them loving each other deeply and that is enough love after all doesnt need a perfect start. It can start out of the most stupid ways.

You said life with excitement and fun wouldn't be permanent or real.. Honestly i think it could be.. Cause i mean when you love someone that deeply your life always feels exciting even with the littlest things and that the purest kind of love. Even just going for a walk at the beach would be fun for them or even staying up watching movies i believe suna and y/n would always find a way to make their lofe exciting without much effort.

Also it kinda makes me. Sad when i see some anon saying that y/n and suna relationship are toxic? It makes me. Confused maybe because I was in such extremely toxic one (girl i sweat if you search for toxic relationship my ex's face will be there as an example 🙄) that Mari to me screams toxic! Possessive, manipulative, jealous and a few more if I think closely about it while with y/n and suna they are just two idiots that are hurting each other cause they're just that: idiots one that is afraid to get hurt and the other that keeps hoping- dont get me wrong what they're doing is not healthy but i dont find it toxic honestly

Sorry for the extreme long rant 8D I tried to keep it short but you always make me so hyped to talk about your works 😩

Hfbfbfhfhfieia

[ from saeren ]

NAHHH CUZ I LOVE TSUMU SO MUCH HERE HE WAS SO PRECIOUS. I didn’t write too much about them in college but Atsumu was so cute when he crushed on YN. he was always sending her memes and cute texts like “have you eaten” “good morning” and she’d feel so awkward because she doesn’t know how to let him down easy without hurting him. either way tsumu would feel hurt. AND YES PLS HE WAS SO SAD I MEAN, HIS CRUSH AND HIS BEST FRIEND NEARLY HAD SEX RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM SO THAT’S GOING TO HURT

SUNA AND ATSUMU TIED?? tbh I loved that dancing scene bcos suna is one of my faves and I really wanna do that with him hehehhehe. NAHHH PLEASE SAME IF SUNA DANCED WITH ME AND MADE A WEDDING PLAYLIST I’D BE LIKE boy what’re u waiting for let’s get married now !! n yes he said whoever YN will choose in the future will be one lucky guy IM SOBBING RN

naur cuz. there’s something about dating your best friend. I’m not saying a boyfriend wouldn’t know you as well but there’s something different when you’re best friends first. they could literally share eye contact and have a long ass conversation just from that. their connection is different.

HAJKALA AS FOR THE POWER, BR! YN IS A VERY CHARISMATIC AND FRIENDLY PERSON !! she’s like one of those people you meet that not only are they attractive as hell, but they’re also super approachable and down to earth. that’s why she’s so popular + she’s flirty and can make a stranger feel welcome or comfortable in the first meeting. SGSHJAK I WAS ACTUALLY PLANNING TO ADD OIKAWA HERE BUT I WANNA MAKE IT MORE INARIZAKI CENTRED

the seggs scene with kita SOBSSSS he’s such a soft dom IDC he knows where the clit is, he knows how to hit it. he’s a “your pleasure first before mine” type of guy. kita is perfect, PERIODT. HE GIVES DADDY VIBES HUH AHSKAA HE’S SO SWEET YET SEXY IM IN LOVE WITH HIM ISTG IF SUNA WASN’T OUR BEST FRIEND THEN I’D RUN FOR KITA ALL THE TIME. and I agree, kita deserves the best !! and don’t worry, I actually plan on giving kita the best ending, I promise you he’ll be fine (slight spoiler there)

 YESSSSS OMG I’VE BEEN REJECTED BEFORE AND THAT’S EXACTLY HOW I FELT, MY BODY WAS SO COLD AND I WAS SO CONFUSED LIKE IT MAKES YOU THINK. am I not good enough, did I do something wrong, do you not wanna give me a chance or try it out but ofc I’d never say that out loud. AND KYAAA AAAH IM YOUR FAVORITE WRITER??? NO CUZ YOU’RE GOING TO MAKE ME CRY. I remember ur asks way back reckless era and you used to tell me that my writing made you picture the scenes easily and you felt you were there in that moment and I’m just so grateful thank you so much <33

NO BCOS WHEN SUNA SAID “prove it” I was like. this is it. that’s his hot boy shit moment. man’s has had enough of being thrown from one toxic relationship to another and he also deserves his good moments yknow. and you kin suna here?? BESTIE IM SORRY TO HEAR THAT, SUNA’S BEEN THROUGH A LOT HERE AHSJAKA. that’s true about suna tho !! he’s definitely affectionate + a giver. he’s happy being the one who gives most of the time but he’s a human as well, ofc he’d want to receive the same amount of love back. ALSO HIS PHONE CALLLLLL ugh tbh that part was the one that made me the saddest bcos he’s just. he wants to know if there’s really no more chance. all this time he never gave up. but he’s also tired so if yn says ‘no more’ then he’ll give up. its his way of respecting himself too ahsjaka

YOOOOO I AGREE WITH THAT. he cares for mari as a person but not 100% as a lover. but ofc he’s still thankful for how happy she made him because she was there at his worst. and that’s true, deep down suna still wishes that it was YN who’s right beside him. he will always ALWAYS want her back. he learned how to love mari in a way that was more out of mutual care but not in the way he loves YN. no that’s reserved only for YN – she will remain no 1 in his heart. AND YESSSSS the reason why suna overlooked the red flags was bcos to him, its something that was supposed to be “normal” like no perfect partner existed. he thought mari’s attitude of pushing YN away was normal, and its normal to want your partner’s best friend keep some distance but not to the point of mari’s place where she literally wants the two of them to cut each other out of their lives.

and aww I’m so happy that you realized how I wanted to portray suna and yn’s relationship. they’re….like the definition of youth in its freest form. they were fucking around and doing stupid things, but they had a connection. they had something deeper than just sexual intimacy. even if they never dated or even if YN never proposed the idea of it, they would’ve actually been still great friends. and oooh I actually don’t remember saying life with excitement and fun wouldn’t be real HAHAHAHA so I can’t comment further on that. but I think when I ‘said’ those I probably meant that it’s not always going to be all rainbows and unicorns in a relationship. there’s no such thing as a relationship that’s always happy and sweet 24/7, but ofc it can be sweet and it can be pure even with the little things <33 they just need to work on it.

hmmm tbhhhh… suna and yn are toxic in a way that they refuse to let each other go when they clearly can’t meet halfway. toxic doesn’t have to be limited in just being mari-like in which they are possessive or manipulative, because then if we’d drive deeper into yn’s personality, then she’d be stringing suna all along and that’s unfair of her. she knows suna wants more and yet she remained being friends with him, which totally isn’t a bad thing, but it’s because she keeps flirting with him and is so romantically comfortable with him that she doesn’t realize it’s hurting suna because he’ll give double meanings to that. their relationship is ‘toxic’ because they’re not entirely good for each other, they’re not that ready to be with one another yet and neither is the world letting them be in peace, so forcing their relationship to a point they’re hurting another is the toxic part.

[ from @kyriaan ]

Ah also not me feeling all proud and mushy cause my analysis made you mind blown fjfbdnsjdkpa 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 I guess its also because i see this story as a really big mirror of my own toxic relationship sonits extremely easy for me to get it... And oh boy the way i kin suna here

But dhdhfjdospdhfbsoa 🥺🥺🥺🥺 i feel happy now *huggles*

[ from saeren ] 

and aah yes ofc, I’m really happy whenever someone can see the underlying details I scatter throughout the story !! yeah omg same hahahaha broken records is also half inspired by the toxic people I’ve met. I kin kita here tho and I’m so glad you’re happier now !!

[nockfellblues]

I don't know if you do these kinds of asks but how about reader pulling a hunger games type moment and confronting Larry before he kills himself saying if you go I do too I won't let someone I love die alone type thing.

All aboard the angst train ♥  written as a mini fic! TW for attempted suicide! Reader is gender neutral.

If you are in crisis, please call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline and get the help you deserve. Call 1-800-273-8255. If you are like me and are afraid to call, there are also live online chat options as well, located HERE! 

You’d known for awhile something was... off with Larry. Ever since Sal had officially moved in with Todd and Neil, Larry had been stadoff-ish on a good day, and on bad days would seclude himself in the tree house, Sanity’s Fall blasting from that tiny stereo so loud you could hear it from your shared basement apartment. To say you were worried about his behavior was an understatement. Especially after you’d begun to notice the pattern of near constant headaches, the fact that he was always saying it was too loud in the apartment, the occasional mutter of, “shut up,” to an empty room when he though you weren’t close enough to hear, and the quickly worsening whip of anger he’d been developing… You were walking on eggshells at any given moment.

Finally, it all hit a breaking point. 

You had been helping Larry pack up the remainder of his non-essentials, getting them ready to go over to his new room at Todd’s. It had been a process to pack a lot of his stuff up- it was a whole lifetime to sort through; countless weird knick knacks to decide to keep or not, finding old drawings and sketchbooks from his childhood, finding a random little thing that had been lost years ago tucked away in a dusty corner someplace… 

To be honest, it had been more reminiscing about his childhood and the memories about each of the items you both went through than it was actually packing. But it was fun, and the wistful smile he wore as he told you stories of his mother, his missing father and his years of shenanigans with Sal and Todd made every wasted second well worth it. 

When you unearthed a little silver puzzle box, you expected a fun story and for him to add it into the donation box for the local second hand shop for some needy kid to enjoy it later. But the simple question of, “Trash or stash?” quickly devolved into an argument about how much you didn’t care about his sentimentality or that it was an important object to him- and it just got worse from there- until you gave up, tossed up your hands, and stated you were gonna bring the box you’d finished earlier over to Todd’s while he cooled off, and walked out.

When you’d gotten there, the first thing you did was tell Sal what was up, hoping maybe he’d have some kind of wise words or what you could have done to set Larry off in the first place. Sally, ever the sweetheart, pulled you into a gentle hug, reassuring you that Larry was probably just having a rough patch and that he would talk to him and see if Larry might open up about it. 

Taking Todd up on an offer to stay the night, you threw on a movie and made yourself comfortable on the couch, falling into a dreamless sleep. 

Neil woke you the next morning with a killer cup of coffee and a poor mans breakfast of sugar coated pop tarts. Sally had come around not long after, letting you know Larry had texted him, and they’d be headed to the apartments for some, “Ghost hunting.” He seemed kind of tense but reassured you that he’d talk to Larry today, before he met up with Ash. Of course, you’d thanked him, and settled into Larry’s soon-to-be room to start sorting out some of the easier boxes.

—–

You woke up later, sprawled on the couch, to the sound of Todd rummaging in the kitchen. Yawning, you stretched and made your way out to greet him, smoothing out your bead-head. 

“Hey Todd, how as class?” You asked, grabbing a seat at the kitchen table. 

Todd shrugged, idly stirring an instant noodle cup, “No complaints. How’s Larry’s room coming along? Sal said you were unpacking this morning.”

“Well, I made it through the clothes and some oddball boxes… Did Sally mention anything about Larry by chance?”

Todd shook his head, “No, but he left with Ash almost as soon as he was back, so we didn’t have much time to chat. Knowing Sal, things should be smoothed over. He’s always been able to mellow Larry out like that.” 

With that, you decided to head back and see if Larry was feeling any better after some Sally time. It was getting dark, and the thick clouds looming overhead finally opened into a sweeping downpour just after you had left Todd’s. You stopped under a thicket of trees just off the road, hoping the rain would lessen, when your cell phone went off. 

Larry: [Name] im rly sry. i nvr meant that shit i said.

[Name]: Dude its all good i know youre stressed lately. Im heading back now.

Larry: stay at todds. and just dont blame urself ok? its my time to go.

[Name]: Larry wtf are you talking about? youre scaring me?

Without waiting for a reply you took off towards the apartments at a breakneck run. Bypassing the front door, you ran around the backside of the building to use the back entrance, when you noticed a light on in the old tree house- Then your gaze trailed down to the baggy with a neatly folded paper pinned to the lower steps on the tree.

You felt your blood run cold. He wouldn’t- no. 

“Larry!” You scrambled up the rickety planks, ignoring the note, and all but threw yourself onto the tree house floor. “Larry, don’t!” 

Tucked against the wall of the tree house, just under the little window, sat Larry, an old camping lantern lit in the corner beside him. His eyes were puffy and his hair disheveled, evidence that he’d been crying before. Tears welled in your own eyes as you took in his distraught expression and the bottle of whiskey in his hands. 

“[Name]..?” He whispered your name, and the way his voice cracked brought you to instant tears, and you all but launched yourself at him, pulling him into a desperate embrace. 

“Larry Johnson, you fucking asshole! Don’t you dare- don’t you dare take a sip from that bottle-”

“[Name]-” you cut him off, taking his face into your hands and forcing him to look at you. The circles under his eyes were so deep, and the absolute emptiness in them broke your heart.

“No! You listen here, you fucking string bean- you don’t get to do this. You can’t just… just push me away and expect me not to worry. You can’t just text… text me something like that and not expect me to come running to- to fucking keep you from being stupid! What the fuck am I supposed to do without you?!” You were openly sobbing now, practically screaming at the boy who all but held your entire world in his hands. “You’re all I have! You can’t just-just leave me behind and expect me to move on- who am I without my other half, Larry? Who am I?!” 

He scrunched his eyes closed, tears streaming down his cheeks again, as he shook his head.

“If you fucking kill yourself, I’m going with you. And you can’t stop me.” You knew it was a dirty trick to play, guilting him like this when his soul was this ravaged and he was so vulnerable- but you were being honest. What would you do without him in your life? What about Sal? God, what about poor Lisa? He was so dear to you all, so loved, and he was ready and willing just throw it all away-

“[Name], I-I can’t take it anymore- I just- the cult shit, that demon, the ghosts! The fucking whispers-  they’re dri-driving me insane! I‘m not like you or Sal- I can’t handle this shit anymore!” He finally breaks down into heaving sobs at that, burying his face into your shoulder, and dropping the bottle in favor of a bone-crushing embrace that you readily return.

You kick the bottle away from Larry, as far as you can get it, and quietly thank whoever will listen when the cap pops the rest of the way off, spilling the amber liquid and the mostly dissolved remnants of pills onto the tree house floor.

“…Why didn’t you just tell me? Or even Sal. Someone. You know we’d do anything for you, Larry, absolutely anything.” He didn’t reply, just shook his head and pulled you closer. What the fuck was was this place doing to him? You had to get him out- get him away- Larry’s phone vibrated from the other side of the tree house, but you elected to ignore it, praying whoever was calling was also smart enough to find you both before things got any worse.

He sniffled, hiccuping into you shoulder, “I’m so sorry, [name]. I didn’t mean anything that I said the other day- or anything I said in those other arguments. I just- This- this place is.. I think I’m going crazy-”

You shushed him, smoothing a hand down his hair and he devolved into body-wracking sobs that shook you both with the sheer force of them. Your soul ached for the boy you had known almost all your life- the boy you grew up with, shared secrets with, made countless memories with, and loved with all your heart. 

Why didn’t you see this coming sooner? “I know, Larry, I know. This place- there’s something still wrong with Addison apartments and we’re gonna get you out of here, forever. I promise.” 

“I-I’m so, so sorry, [name]. Please... Please don’t leave me.”

The rain continued to pour in violent sheets outside, but you distinctly heard the frantic voice of Sal, calling Larry’s name, as he ran towards the tree house. You had never felt such absolute relief in your life, even with Larry clinging to you like a lifeline, and the stain of his near-death slowly seeping into the floor of the tree house just behind you.

 “I’m not going anywhere, Larry. I’m with you, always, no matter what happens.”

—fin—

WHEW. I tried to make it so you could read their relationship as either romantic or platonic, and tried to stay as neutral as possible in gender as well! I hope this is alright, and I hope you like it! I’ve actually never seen the Hunger Games so I kinda went my own way ♥

I’d also like to use this space as a PSA:I’ve struggled with depression and suicidal thoughts and tendencies my whole life- don’t let your depression convince you that you are trapped or alone or unloveable. I know its hard, and there’s no easy fix for it, but there are things in life that make it worth sticking around. Even if its something as silly as looking forward to a new game or story or waiting for a flower you planted to bloom, there are reasons to keep living. Please be kind to yourself and remember, even if we’ve never spoken or interacted or existed in the same space, I know that you are worthy of being loved and cared for and you are not alone. 

If ever you feel like you are truly alone in this world, please reach out- there will always be people out here willing to lend a shoulder to cry on, a hand to hold, and a friend to those who feel lost ♥ I know i will always be open to anyone out there in need of a friend so, please, never be afraid to reach out!

[disloopy]

the heart is deceiving pt.2

bloo

genre: angst, smut

word count: 1.8k

a/n. firstly i apologize for how long this part is i just rlly wanna add everyth and it’ll all make sense in the end ok. n e ways regarding the whole bloo scandal and stuff idk cuz im not rlly a whole ass bloo stan aight so im gonna kinda stay away from that until he or someone clears stuff up so i dont do the whole “cancelled/uncancelled” thing lol k read

LAST a/n i promise. i changed it to first person pov cuz bitch i wrote the entire thing in first person on accident and i just cant deal w this any more

LIPS. daniel's were dripping with ambrosia. kissing him was like tasting an eternal summer, an immortal hour of golden skies, humid nights, honey kissed skin bronze and glistening as we moved against each other.

in this short span of time, daniel seemed to know everything about me; what i loved, what i hated, what got my heart racing and my breathing heavy, he knew what turned me on and he did it with finesse.

seeing him sit up, red marks on his back as he leaned against the bed frame and lit up a cigarette, felt like a scene taken straight from an angst filled movie. i wanted to admire every aspect of him; the way his damp hair stuck to his forehead, the purple bruises forming dark clouds over the moon tattoo, a cigarette dangling between his swollen pink lips.

i curled under the white sheets, so different from my own patterned ones, feeling immersed in the comforting smell of him. he rolled out of bed to get me my jacket to cover myself with. "this is yours," i told him when he handed it to me.

"what's mine is yours, baby." daniel laid down next to me and i wrapped my fingers around the golden necklace that hung loosely around his neck, pulling his face closer to kiss his lips once more. perhaps the taste of his lips was like the food of the greek gods ― pleasurable and addictive.

when my father called that night, i let another lie escape my dirty lips, telling him i had left the party and decided to stay over with jojo. "i'll see you tomorrow then, baby. love you."

"i love you too, daddy." why was i compelled to do the worst things when it came to daniel? i didn't know, but i liked it.

daniel raised his eyebrows as i hung up the phone. "oh, i thought you were talking to me when you said that." i clicked my tongue and laid my throbbing head on the pillow. it's like my lie came to life.

"do you think anyone heard us?" i asked daniel, looking up at him. the smoke seeping out of his lips enveloped my face for a second, and i indulged in the suffocating feeling.

"who cares? they'll only hear your moans... the real sight is for me to see."

he talked like that usually,  but he was definitely wasted tonight. he tried to put his arms around me but i rolled onto my side, away from him. "what's wrong, baby? you didn't like it?" daniel rested his head on my shoulder and i reached up, running my fingers through his hair.

"will you forget everything in the morning."

daniel scoffed, his breath tickling my skin. "i never forget... but in case i do, then we can do it all over again and it'll feel like the first time." i laughed softly, and then turned to look at him, running my fingers over the birthmark on his cheek and over his lips, just like i had fantasized about doing on more nights than one.

daniel just parted his lips, taking my finger into his mouth, his eyes unwavering as they stared into mine. daniel was everything i wanted to be, everything i needed him to be; fearless, emotional, dominant.

"do you... really like me?"

"you talk too much," daniel groans, lighting up another cigarette. "i do... but if you ever end up in my bed again, don't think about asking me such a question."

i received stares when daniel dropped me off at school the next day, in his black bentley with the roof down and the early morning breeze running through my hair, much like his fingers had done just the previous night.

"see you later, baby?" said daniel, pressing a kiss on my lips that caused everything to somehow fall into place. i would leave the shadow of his lips on mine, getting me through the day.

it didn't take long for jojo to point out the band-aids on placed carefully on my knees caused by the rough work of last night. i didn't expect anything less from daniel.

"was it really like that?"

i nodded, taking a long chug from my water bottle. "it was like that. all fucking night long. he didn't even let me get on the bed until he was done."

"my, my, my, it's always the ones who look innocent that are the most freaky," jojo remarked, shaking her head. "and while you were getting it on with daniel, tattoo face has been blowing up my phone."

"jinyoung?"

"whatever his name is."

sometimes i wish that i could be like jojo - so caught up in her own world, independent, free of need to feel important or appreciated. maybe that's why people were just so drawn to her. i, on the other hand, craved attention and daniel didn't mind giving it to me. we fit each other.

TOGETHER. that's the way we were mostly found. tangled in between daniel's sheets, wrapped in each other's arms, clinging to one other ― where one went, the other followed. his friends soon became mine and my one (1) friend became theirs. just like that we became connected and feeling that connection was something worth risking for in life.

"mm baby wake up... i have to take you to school." the low, gravelly voice stirred me from my sleep but i didn't have enough motivation to open my eyes. last night, i had sneakily set an alarm on daniel's phone titled "wake y/n up for school" ― not that i couldn't have done it myself, i just thought it would be nice to be woken up by daniel this morning.

i stretched out my arms and laid my head atop his. "i don't wanna go to school," i murmured softly with a yawn. daniel grinned and snuggled closer to me, his arms snaking around my waist so that my back was pressed against his bare chest.

"okay."

my eyes fluttered open as i yawned again. "you're supposed to tell me that i have to go."

daniel propped himself up on his elbow, brushing the strands of hair out of my eyes. "why would i do that? i want to lie in bed with you all day long, maybe fuck you back to sleep." it may have been too early in the morning to be affected by daniel's words but they hovered around my body, squeezing my insides right down to my very core.

i reached up, wrapping my arms around his neck and he lowered his head, trailing kisses down my jaw and shoulder. daniel could never waste enough time getting me undressed, hands ghosting along my skin, his lips worshiping me like i was something divine. my fingers running through his hair and his fingers complimenting all my curves and edges.

between us was electricity and friction, silence being broken only by my soft whimpers for i could no longer handle the enticing touch of his body and craved more than just that.

then a sudden interruption came with the opening of the door and nicholas's voice informing us that they were going out to eat breakfast. "what the fuck, nick!" daniel exclaimed, throwing a pillow at his friend before covering me with his body. "do you mind?"

nicholas just yawned, bored. "how am i supposed to know she slept over?"

"as if you couldn't hear us last night."

"ok just get ready, we're leaving now." he shook his head and walked out the door. i wanted daniel to get closer, to bury my face in his tousled hair, his hands to dutifully commend my body. but instead he sat up, checking his phone.

i sighed, wrapping the blanket around my bare chest. "you didn't lock your door?"

daniel smiled sheepishly. "i guess i forgot?"

"or did you want someone to find us?" i asked seriously. "you act like our sex life is to be shared with the entire world."

"shouldn't it be?"

"only if you wanna put a label on it," i murmured quietly so he wouldn't be able to hear me. daniel was so obviously into exhibition and i found it strange how he didn't mind his friends walking in on us, knowing about us, what we chose to do together.

daniel talked about things while we were in the car; things i only cared about because he cared about them. somehow what was special to him meant something to me because it was a side of him i never knew existed, yet loved all the same. and because his bros were a big part of his life, they became a part of mine - like i finally found a proper family.

"hey - um," daniel started when we stopped in front of my school building. i stopped in the process of slipping on my bag to turn and look at him. "i wanted to ask you something."

i became interested. "what is it?"

daniel sighed, looking down at his lip as if he was unsure about something. "i just thought... let's make it official? do you want to be my girlfriend?" i didn't know what to say. i assumed we were already dating with the amount of time we spent with each other, on his bed but i guess he felt differently.

when i didn't reply, daniel continued. "i mean, i've been hooking up with girls but i'm sick of them coming onto me like i've got nothing better to do... it's different with you."

"oh..." i faltered, knowing i should have expected something like that. it was just the most daniel thing to do.

"do you not wanna?"

"no! i mean, yes... yes of course i want to be your girlfriend," i told him, lacing my fingers through his. "but... we haven't even been on a proper date yet."

daniel grinned, pulling me closer just to press his lips against mine, tugging on my bottom lip before i moved away. "then where would you like to go? hm, baby?"

i thought about it for a second. "monet's diner? it's like at the edge of downtown."

"of all the nice places in ventura, you want to go to a diner?"

unlike daniel, i still wasn't familiar with the boujee lifestyle that came like second nature to him. i've never owned anything expensive and never wanted more than what life had to offer me. maybe being with daniel would mean having to change all that.

"the last time i ate there was with my mom," i explained, looking down at my schoolbag, playing with zipper. "i just never had someone else to go there with... until now."

daniel reached up and touched my cheek, probably the most gentle gesture of affection he'd ever shown. "then we'll go there."

[bazzledazzled]

I’m not going to lie to you I am 100% pulling these headcanons from the spam of messages i sent @waywardpadaleski​ but I saw Voltron Hogwarts AUs floating around and I decided to make headcanons because I love this idea ive also doodled stuff and may post some or write something just not rn

OKAY SO

pretty much the houses just go with their lions— but lance is special snowflake im sorry i know i sound like one of those uber annoying lance stans that shove da boi down everyones throats i cant help it i love him but bare with me this makes sense

Okay so Keith is in Gryffindor because ofc he would

Pidge is Slytherin

Hunk is Hufflepuff

Allura is totally a Ravenclaw

What about Lance, you ask? Well u know how JK Rowling said that there’s things called “Hat Stalls” where people took longer than 5 min to get sorted???

Ye well Lance is one of THOSE

It would work with canon if you think about it because he kinda is stuck between the red lion and the blue lion and like-- I know keef is the same way with the black lion but shush

SO ANYWAYS

the sorting hats dilemma is that he’s smart and has the means to excel in Ravenclaw, but at the same time he’s outrageously brave like a Gryffindor

(MY BOI IS SMART FITE ME)

So the hat doesn’t know what to put him in

Then the sorting hat comes to the conclusion that while he could do great in Ravenclaw, he wouldn’t reach his full potential unless he was a Gryffindor (*COUGH* LIKE CANON)

Sooooo-- Pidge is like a year or two behind Hunk, Lance, and Keith because y’know, shes younger and stuff and she kinda gets into the group because of her older brother

THATS RIGHT MATTS HERE

So Matt is a Ravenclaw and him and Shiro are besties ofc

(Shiros Gryffindor sorry I forgot to mention it)

Matt was also a Hat Stall because when i was thinking about his house i couldn’t decide between Ravenclaw, Slytherin, or Gryffindor

But he’s Ravenclaw cuz it fits in with an Adashi thing im gonna bring up later

ANYWAYS

Shiro is also Keith’s older brother, they’re not biological siblings, its just Keefs dad was friends with shiros parents and when he passed away the Shiroganes adopted him 

Shiro is ANNOYED because Keith and Lance are always fighting with each other in the commons and he just wants to read his book in peace

Now here comes the Adashi

Okay okay so Adam is Ravenclaw

I know we barely know anything about Adam (*glares at s7*) BUT based on stuff and how the fanon Adam is, I’m saying he’s Ravenclaw

So anyways

Let’s get to Quidditch because that’s part of the Adashi part of this AU

Keef is a Gryffindor Seeker because like-- he go vroom

I lowkey am making Lance a Keeper not only cuz he would be good at it but also cuz of those cheesy shirts that say things like “He’s a Keeper” and “She’s a Catch” 

Shiro is a Chaser

Pidge and Hunk I think would be Beaters???? Idk

OH! James Griffin is also a Slytherin Seeker byeeee

Adam is the Ravenclaw Keeper

Headcanon is if theres one thing Lance and Adam have in common, its that they can make people flustered very easily 

So ya know what Adam does, much to Shiro’s annoyance???

He flirts with him

Whenever they have games that are Ravenclaw vs. Gryffindor Adam will flirt with Shiro, winking at him, yelling stuff across the field, making Shiro so flustered he can’t throw straight (pun intended)

One time Adam gets Shiro so flustered he drops the ball

Matt, a Beater, high fives him

OH! Also Allura is a Chaser and she’s like the best Chaser in the school FITE ME

Okay thats enough of quidditch 

Okay so as for family lineage and stuff

Shiro, Lance, and Hunk are muggleborns

They just are

Shiro’s parents knew about Magic because of keef and were surprised when they found out Shiro was a wizard

Lance is the only wizard in his family and he gets homesick a lot because he’s the only one who goes to Hogwarts and he misses his siblings and stuff

But he always brings niece and nephew home stuff from Hogsmade that he thinks they’ll like 

Hunk, Lance, and Shiro meet because Hogwarts started a club during the summer for Muggleborns where they can meet and talk about concerns with Hogwarts and magic and stuff with other muggleborns that are older

So Lance and Hunk soon become really close friends and Shiro is kinda their advisor and stuff

Anyways

Keith is a Halfblood, which makes sense because i mean he’s half galra on the show so

His mom was a witch, and idk if im going to have her run away for something or die?? I mean I kinda want her to run away cuz of something so they can be reunited but i have no idea what it would be unless this was during the time of harry potter and it had something to do with Voldemort but i kinda want to stay away from all that so ye

Pidge and Matt are purebloods

But they’re not the stuck up purebloods

They’re literally the Weasleys 

Sam has a fascination with muggle technology that Pidge and Matt share

So like, they have a lot of fancy tech

Pidge and Matt snuck a DS on campus and play Zelda at meals

Allura is probably a Pureblood but shes way less snooty, maybe even compared to her parents

As for teachers

Coran is Herbology teacher or something???

Alfor is Defense against the Dark Arts maybe??? I don’t know either him or Zarkon 

Haggar is obviously the potions teacher

ANYWAYS

Everyone hates Lotor cuz his parents are teachers and he’s a teachers pet

But back to Haggar in potions

So she’s like the slytherin head thing or whatever they were

so yknow she’s biased

and it doesnt help that her son is also slytherin

(also Zarkon is a Gryffindor sorryyyyy)

(This also could play into keith or lance’s story by them being compared to Zarkon or something and it unsettling them)

(This just in-- I think Zarkon should be the voldemort)

(oh shoot im getting sidetracked with imagining zarkon as voldemort and lance as harry potter)

(help)

ANYWAYS

So ofc she sees that Lance and Keith are always at each others throat

and makes them potions partnets

because it makes it easier for them to get in trouble because they keep fighting and then she can take points from gryffindor 

ANYWAYS

The one day they are tasked with making Amortentia, right??

Oh god this is so mcfreaking cliche im sorry

So Keef and Lonce are there, both tired from studying or something so already they’re cranky and half asleep

So they’re making the potion right?

And lance just coughs, a look of disgust on his face

“What?” Keef says. Lance plugs his nose.

“U stink, Keith.” And throughout potions class Lance keeps complaining that Keith smells really bad or something or he used too much cologne idk

Ofc like Pidge is in that class and shes snickering

Lance turns to her like “WHAT IS IT PIDGE” 

She asks him if he knows what the potion is supposed to do

He’s just like “It makes people fall in love with u.”

“Yes but what else?” Both keith and Lance stare at her blankly. She explains that when u smell it you smell what u love most

Both keef and lances eyes widen

For the first time in forever they’re quite the entire period

Keith has a gay panic

Lance has a bi panic

they are disasters

Shiro confronts pidge after that day

“Pidge what did u do to keef and lonce they’re broken”

Pidge is all like, “Excuse me????”

“They’re being nice to each other.” 

Hunk, who is also there, just snorts

“Pls explain this to me,” Shiro says, exasperated

Pidge explains the Amortentia scene

Shiro just laughs because of course they were in love with each other

(it lowkey reminds him of him and Adam)

(okay now i have theories that the reason why they made Adam shiro’s boyfriend is because its meant to mirror OTHER ships in voltron *cough* KLANCE and its foreshadowing or something i mean adam does look like lance and shiro and keith are sorta similar)

(shut up candy back to the AU)

Hunk admits that Lance has had a crush on keeth for like ever but he keeps saying its just a rivalry thing

Actual conversation between the two:

“And what’s up with his hair?? It’s like straight out of the 80′s and he has all the bangs over his eyes like an EMO like why is he trying to hide his eyes?” Lance blushes because he’s thinking about how beautiful Keefs eyes are. “Like why? Why is his hair like that i dont understand?? And what does he do to it why is it so soft???”

“You’ve touched his hair?”

“Yeah I was trying to see if I’m taller than him yet” Hunk was just confused but then Lance kept talking about keiths hair and he let it slip when it was like, almost 3am that keiths hair made him look pretty and lance would never be able to make that look good on himself, then immediately said something about the one time keef blew something up in first year because hes an idiot as a coverup

So hunk has known for some time

Even when lance didn’t know

So for the next couple weeks keith and lance act kinda weird around each other

because they don’t know how to handle feelings

they mostly avoid each other, standing on opposite ends of the room and glaring at each other

but of course that doesnt help them at all because for some reason they share a room

(oh my god they were roommates)

The rest of the boys in the room are angry because of all the sexual tension its giving them anxiety and they started sleeping in the commons

I actually have no idea who the other three boys would be because one of them couldnt be shiro because hes older and everyone else is in different houses so

At one point keith just blurts “Whats wrong with you?”

Lance gets all defensive because he takes it in a different way than Keith meant and thought Keith was saying he was flawed or something and he was broken and...

heres the langst

Lance just starts to get upset and is yelling saying nothing is wrong with him and he almost starts to cry because he’s just so confused and doesn’t know whats going on and he feels like hes not good enough for Gryffindor and

He has a lot of emotions

And he says all this, starting to ramble through tears, pouring all of his emotions out

Keef is shook

he doesn’t know what to do Lance never acted like this in front of him before and he’s never seen lance like this, so self conscious and doubting himself 

Keith doesn’t know how lance could even think these things because in his eyes-- lance is perfect

Lance has always been so much better at magic than he was

and He’s so confident and such a good Keeper 

He gingerly touches Lance’s shoulder. 

“Lance I--” Keith doesn’t know what words to say, but apparently he doesn’t need to say any

Lance wraps his arms around him, burying his face in his shoulder, sniffling

Keith is surprised at first because u know keef

He doesn’t know how to react when someone hugs him

He gently hugs lance back, resting his head on Lances and running his fingers through his hair

Lance calms down, his breathing slowing and seeming more relaxed

when he does, keith tries his best to tell him how great he thinks lance is and how hes jealous and all that

Lance pulls away, rubbing his eyes. 

“You mean it?” Keith nods solemnly, not looking at Lance. Lance touches his cheek, causing him to look back up, his brows knit together in confusion

Lance doesn’t know why, but he kisses him

(*klance fangirl in me starts screaming*)

and just??? the moment feels perfect to both of them? This was someone they always thought of as a rival, were always jealous of, and were always thinking about. They never truely understood their feelings for each other, until now

Shiro doesn’t comment when they walk into the dinning hall the next morning holding hands

But Pidge sure does 

Okay im trying to think of more headcanons involving people other than Shiro, Keith, and Lance because i love all the characters and they deserve attention

Hunk makes friends with two other Hufflepuff girls 

he he he yall know who it is

SHAY AND ROMELLE

MY GURLS

Shay and Romelle have been friends since they were first years and Shay yelled at Lotor for making fun of Romelle

they’ve been besties ever since

Hunk meets Shay and Romelle in Herbology because in like maybe 5th year or something Hufflepuff house was taught Herbology with the Slytherins. Every year before that it was either with Ravenclaw or Gryffindor so he would pair with Lance, Keith, Allura, or Shiro

Pidge was a year or two bellow him so they didn’t have classes together in case u were wondering

For the specific thing they needed a group of three and even though Hunk is a pretty nice guy and can make friends with everyone, everyone sorta had their trio

Because ofc he can find a PARTNER that was left out of their group of three, but suddenly they’re paired off in threes and there’s no sad loner who has no friends. 

Shay and Romelle have an opening in their group

Hunk goes to work with them

They’re honestly the cinnamon roll squad and when Hunk introduces them to his friends Lance and Pidge immediately nickname them that 

Hunk quickly falls in love with Shay

Like deeply in love

He’s always complimenting her and laughing at what she says

Romelle keeps trying to tell Shay that he likes her but Shay just goes “he’s just a nice person, Elle”

The Yule ball comes around ofc

and at this point Lance and Keith are dating

This is probably around.... Sixth year I want to say? 

So here’s the line up 

Keith and Lance go to the dance together

Shiro asks Adam in like this grand way and Adam is just like “wait we weren’t going together before??”

Matt doesn’t have a date but he invites Pidge because she threatened him (she wants to take pictures of Klance and Adashi acting cute and coupley to use as blackmail and Matt supports it)

Hunk starts freaking out because he really really really wants to ask Shay but he doesn’t know how

Lance gives him a pep talk, saying that she obviously likes him of course she’ll say yes

Hunk is still nervous

Lance is all like “C’mon asking your crush out isnt that bad if she says no she says no, but if she says yes then you get an awesome date.” 

“Says the one who had a crush on his boyfriend since second year and covered it up as a rivalry.” Lance looks offended.

“You need to stop hanging out with Pidge.” 

Lance decides to be Hunks wingman and starts asking Shay things like “You planning on going to the Yule Ball?” and “What do you think of Hunk?” He sees that she is very much interested and repots this to Hunk

He helps Hunk come up with a way to ask her

And its like the sweetest thing Romelle is in on it and she gives some stupid excuse as to why she cant study for herbology with them 

then her and lance hide behind a bookshelf, giggling

Hunk gets super flustered

But he manages to ask her

Shay also gets really flustered

But says yes

oof okay thats three of my big ships canon now for the fourth. 

When Hunk first introduces Allura to Romelle, her first thought is “Her. I want to date Her.” 

Now Lance and Allura have already come out to each other as bi disasters

It actually happened when Lance got with Keith and they were talking about him, doing facials (they take care of their skin with each other fite me) 

And Lance is just like “Yeah so I guess I like guys and girls” and allura is like “YOU CAN DO THAT” and lance is like “yeah????” and hes not sure if shes being biphobic or what and hes scared for like 0.1 second

and then allura just goes “Oh my god lonce i think i like guys and girls too”

And then they just start laughing

I guess I should also mention that they dated at one point too???

I don’t think it would’ve been super long, but probably around 3rd year they dated and thats actually probably how Allura got introduced to the Squad??

Lance first saw her when he finally joined the Gryffindor Quidditch team 

He got picked to be a Keeper the second year

So their first game is against ravenclaw

And he’s pretty good for the most part

And then all of a sudden he sees allura flying towards him and she looks so beautiful and how can she be so beautiful and--

She just scored a goal

and he was staring dumbly at her

So Lance and Allura’s relationship kind of developed like it did in the show with Lance flirting with her and Allura being annoyed to them becoming friends and eventually mutual crush

Allura’s actually the one to ask Lance out

They date for a while and theyre actually a really cute couple

(I may be a hardcore Klancer but I do find Allurlance cute on the occasion)

But after a bit... it kinda fades away?? I don’t know they just start to feel like when they kiss its not... not how they thought it would be??

They slowly start to realize that they kinda just want to be friends, not boyfriend and girlfriend

It just adds stress that they don’t want and they want to be able to tell each other anything without having to worry about stuff

so they break up soon after they start dating

sadly

but they dont?? feel too broken up about it???

The feeling was mutual

Plus they like each other much more as friends than romantic partners

They’re like the ultumate brotp 

Now they give each other facials every thursday

anyways

so allura finds out that she has a crush on Romelle

and who does she go to?

Ofc its lance hes a successful bi with a boyfriend

So he pretty much teaches her how to flirt

like seriously he teaches her how to flirt

And Allura makes it her duty to flirt with Romelle at every possibly oppertunity

Making Romelle freak out because how is she supposed to read this does she want to date Allura or????

They don’t really go any further for a while, its just allura slipping in little things every now and again or blowing kisses at romelle in the stands as she scores a goal

When the Yule ball rolls around, both Allura and Romelle dont have dates (Lotor asked Allura to the dance because they kissed one time in a game of spin the bottle and she responded with judoflipping him)

But they have fun

Everyone has fun actually

Its amazing and fluffy

(i feel like i should write a snapshot of this so i can finally write a fic that isnt centered around klance)

And a slow song comes on

Hunk and Shay awkwardly dance with each other, blushing brightly

Lance and Keith have their heads pressed together, Lance kissing Keith’s nose as they dance and making keith so flustered he stumbles and they both fall to the floor laughing

Adam and Shiro are that couple everyone is jealous of because theyre so perfect?? Like they have matching outfits and they dance gracefully and they kiss at just the right moments??

Pidge and Matt are god knows where probably videotaping the whole thing

And Allura kinda jokingly goes, “Well I guess then we should dance too.” And Romelle surprises her by taking her hand, pulling her onto the dancefloor

and freaking allura is actually really flustered and she’s blushing, having a hard time looking at Romelle

(romelle is having a hard time looking at her to fsajndvjhaio)

They’re both blushing. 

At the end of the song theyre much closer to each other than they started

They look up at each other

And then Romelle squeezes her eyes tight and kisses allura

It barely lasts for a second

Allura is shook

Romelle is in Lesbian Painc

Allura is in Bi Panic

Nobody seems to have noticed

but both girls are dying

And then allura just timidly asks, “Can you-- can you do that again?”

Pidge walks up to them kissing and just goes, “Oh thank god I thought I was going to have to force you two to kiss”

Because pidge oversees everything and knows everyones crushes that theyre too stupid to see

I feel bad for pidge i don’t really know what big moments she should have???

I feel like shes a trouble maker though

Not like cruel pranks or something 

But she likes to play jokes on people

A lot of the times that person is Lance

A lot of the time Keith is in on it

I also feel like eventually Allura and Romelle start to join her??

She recruits them for some big thing

Idk what

Its probably like a surprise for either Klance’s anniversary or Adashi’s 

And they love this way of life

Romelle betrays the cinnamon roll squad and goes to the dark side

Also a little more about pidge

She was almost a Hat Stall

Her two houses were Slytherin and Ravenclaw

But at like 4 min and 43 seconds the hat announced slytherin

her family is actually a mix of slytherins and ravenclaws

her dad and brother are ravenclaws

her mom is slytherin

OH AND BEFORE I LEAVE

Lances rivalry with Keith started because Keith bought the last of the candy he wanted on the train

And during like 7th year when they’re cuddling or something and Keith is like “why did u start this rivalry” and lance says it’s because he took the candy and Keith is SHOOK and goes “I would have shared if u asked”

and yeah i may add but heres most of the headcanons i came up with

[thirstygirlclub]

A Boy Named Box - Part Two (2)

KozikxGayMale!Reader

(this is my second time writing this. i had finished this, all done, until my internet crashed and i lost all of it. hopefully, this one will be as good as the lost part.)

(the second part of a request from an anon! where the reader is Juice’s twin brother that moved away from Queens to Charming for a new start and falls for a certain sandy haired son)  

also this part is dedicated to @marcus-demitri455 and @samcro-saint99 who were so lovely when i was so heartbroken about this, love you my angels! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

p.s legit thought that this was only going to be 3 parts max but I didn’t factor in the fact that i always get carried away and that this is all so cute that it is consuming me more than i ever thought possible? so this is going to be part 2 of 4 (for now but knowing me i’m going to turn it into a whole McFreakin’ book or some shit)

WARNING: CONTAINS CUTE STUFF

Tig was trying to rile you up, you knew he was, but that didn’t stop you giving him exactly what he wanted. You grabbed him by the front of his kutte and you couldn't give a shit about disrespecting the leather and sons of Anarchy colours when he was disrespecting you like he was. You had had enough of your sexuality being the butt of all of his jokes. You knew he was joking and he didn’t mean it, not really, but that didn’t stop it from offending you. Juan was getting sick of it too but he let you fight your own battles now you were both adults.

“Say that again,” you hissed lowly, “you bastard.”

“I said,” Tig said loudly with a laugh, “I’m not gonna let a gay kid beat me in the ring. Unless you’re scared-”

You bashed him roughly against the brick wall of the work bay while he grappled at your hands and work shirt; trying to get you to release him but his attempts proving fruitless. His eyes showed panic and pain, there was blood running from his nose and down his chin from where you had punched him to try and get him to shut up. Despite the expression on his face, he laughed as you were wrenched away from the older man. 

You struggled against Kozik’s grip. He had pulled your arms behind you, almost like a police grip, and was pulling you away. Even though he was strong, he was struggling to do so. Kozik practically threw you into the parking lot then pushed you back by the chest when you had rounded on him to get back to Tig.

“That’s enough!” Chibs commanded from where he had been watching the brawl and walking over to you, “Stop this now. You know he doesn’t mean it!”

“I don’t give a fuck if he means it or not,” you growled at the Scottish man, “I’ve had to deal with that shit all my life. I’m not dealing with it here, get it?”

“Alright, alright,” Chibs sighed with an understanding nod at you before turning to Kozik, “go deal with that dickhead. I’ll get the kid calmed down.”

“I’m not a kid!”

“Yeah? Then stop fucking acting like one!”

He grabbed you by the scruff of the neck and started walking you off but you fought him off. Chibs let go and put his hands up in surrender but followed you anyway. When you cast a glance back, Kozik grinned at you then turned back to go have a look at Tig’s face. 

“I’m takin’ bets on a fight night,” Chibs told you and took a drag of his cigarette, “first match is you against him. If you’re willing to clear the air in public.”

“If he’s not scared of losing to a fa-”

“Enough Box! Are you in? I’m sick and tired of you bein’ at each others throats all the time.”

“Yeah,” you spat, “I’m in.”

“Right. 2 weeks time, you and him in the ring then all this gets put to rest. Yeah?”

You had been sleeping peacefully, in a drunk and stoned stupor, snoring away when you were woken up by a voice in your ear.

“Box,” you heard them whisper in your ear, “time to get up.”

When you opened your eyes you saw Kozik stood over your bed, with his arms folded and that stupid grin on his face, you sat up with a gasp and pulled the blankets up over your naked body and stared up at him with wide eyes.

“What the fuck man?!” You shrieked hoarsely, “get out!”

Kozik laughed at your now bright red face but didn’t leave. When he didn’t say anything you shook your head in a ‘what the fuck’ kind of way. You knew you weren’t the most attractive person while you were sleeping, especially after a night of drinking and smoking. You hastily wiped the drool off of your cheek and tried to fix your bedhead.

“You know you snore?” He asked with a laugh.

“Yeah, thanks,” you said with a scoff.

“Get up now; we’re going training.”

“Training?”

“Yeah. I bet $64 on you winning and I’m not gonna get it back with that right hook so get up, get dressed.”

He picked some shorts and a black shirt from a pile of clothes from the pile of clean washing on the desk chair to throw them at you. He then stood looking around and the room that you were sleeping in.

“Uh, kinda naked here bro,” you said and held the blankets tighter to your bare chest, “you wanna leave?”

Kozik smirked, knowing he had already seen everything, but turned to leave anyway. Once the door was shut, you checked the time and groaned, standing up and pulling on the clothes.

“Are you joking?” You asked him as you stormed through to see him sat drinking coffee at the little dining table in the kitchen, “it’s 6-fucking-05 in the morning. What is your problem?”

“Gotta get there before the crowds. Come on. Let’s go, we’re jogging to the gym.”

He stood up and hit you on the bicep as he walked passed you and out the front door. You sighed and followed him, stretching and yawning as you went.

Evidently, you weren’t as fit as you thought you had been. You had been jogging for a total of 10 minutes and you already needed to sit down since you were puffing, panting and sweating profusely. You grabbed the back of Kozik’s shirt and braced yourself on your knees before collapsing on some nearby grass. Your running partner chuckled then same to sit by you. Luckily, it was still morning and reasonably cool out.

You had only been in Charming for about 6 weeks but you were already sick of the heat. You were so used to the chillier, grey weather in Queens and you hadn’t yet acclimatised to it like Juan had but then again, he was always a fan of warmer weather. You used to say he was like a lizard.

“Come on Box,” Kozik groaned once you had caught your breath, “we’ve been sat here for 20 minutes and I actually want to get to work today.”

“I still have to go to work after the gym?” You huffed then rolled onto your side and curled up in a ball when he nodded.

“Stop being a drama queen.”

“Who are you calling queen?” You asked venomously.

“You know I didn’t mean it like that! Fuck you’re grouchy in the morning!”

You sat up to glare at him and saw that he was already stood up and was holding his hand out you to help you up. You sighed in defeat, taking his hand and letting him help you stand and you weren’t sure but maybe he held it for a second too long when you were on your feet. And maybe there was that mischievous glint in his blue eyes but you couldn’t know for sure because as soon as you had thought you had seen it he had turned around to run on ahead of you.

Training with Kozik was simultaneously the toughest but most entertaining thing you had done in your life, kind of. You had got a chance to talk to him properly about everything you had been through and it was nice to open up to somebody that wasn’t Juan. As much as your brother loved you, you knew he was getting fed up of hearing about your ex. He would never say anything to you about it but you could just tell. That twin intuition, you know?

Kozik had listened patiently to your worries while you battered the punching bag. He eased your concerns that the guys hadn’t accepted you as yourself and still just thought of you as one half of The Juice Box, that they all thought you were running away from your past, that they didn’t accept you for your sexuality with them being a biker gang and all.

“You know the guys talk shit but honestly Box... listen to me. They love you, alright? We all do besides, we all got our thoughts on Tig. Nobody gives a fuck if you’re gay. And yeah, you’re Juice’s brother but you’re also Box. We get you’re a different guy all together. Got better hair for a start,” Kozik had told you, ruffling your sweaty hair and making you laugh; diffusing the tense atmosphere you had brought with you that one particular day, “and don’t worry about running from where you came from; we all got something we’re running towards. You know?”

You hadn’t been ashamed to wipe away a few tears when he told you that; you needed to hear that and it meant so much coming from him. But as he patted you comfortingly on the shoulder you couldn’t help wondering what it was that he was running to. 

On the plus side, you hadn’t been in better shape for a long time. You were waking up at 6am every morning without needing him to barge into your room and drag you out of bed. He had given you special instructions not to drink, smoke, do drugs for the entire 2 weeks you had been training with him and he had even put you on a special diet. This mostly consisted of you sharing his lunch, normally some kind of salad with lean meat or pasta, while you were working and him bringing you the food for your dinner. It was nice to have someone looking out for you every now and again.

You had a good little routine going too, wake up at 6 then run to the gym with Kozik at 6:30; work out and train until 8 so you were all ready to hit the showers and seeing him in just a towel afterwards was always a bonus, not that you would tell him that of course; he was already big-headed enough. 

The buzz around TM and the club house was electric on the day of the fight. Word had got out that Kozik was training you up and teaching you the way that Tig fought so he had enlisted the help of Chibs. This meant that it was no longer just a competition to see who was the better fighter but also who was the better coach too. The animosity and fighting talk was so bad between the two teams that Clay had to schedule the shifts so that neither team was mixed together. You had tried to defend yourselves and say that it was all friendly but Clay was having none of it.

You had also been promoted to “mechanic’s assistant” which essentially meant you were Kozik’s own personal go-fer boy and he was loving it; he was asking you to get any number of different things that he could easily get for himself. Every time you complained about it, he would remind you that Clay was keeping an eye on you to see if you were worth keeping on the team which would make you grumble but kick him the wrench that was about 3 inches away from his hand.

The sound of a motorcycle drew you out of your angry thoughts and you turned to see Juan climbing off of his motorcycle wearing his Sons of Anarchy kutte and sunglasses. He carried himself differently when he was wearing the vest and you kind of wanted one too but you had a feeling that regardless of how accepting they were as people, the other charters and club rules probably wouldn’t allow a gay man into the club. It didn’t stop you craving the sense of belonging that your brother had found with them though.

You were leaning casually against the front of a green dodge charger, beside Kozik as he was under the hood of the car, as you ate the rest of the blonde man’s chicken salad, when Juan came sloping over to you with his eyebrows raised and a smirk on his face. You sent your twin a quizzical look which he returned sarcastically.

“You ready for tonight little brother?” Juan asked you, “you think you’re gonna win?”

“Uh yeah,” You scoffed, stuffing another bite in your mouth, “why? You got no faith in me?”

“Nah, obviously I do. I just mean that Chibs is a good coach, that’s all.”

With that comment, Kozik raised himself from under the hood of the car and stepped in front of you, between you and Juan, with his arms folded and his chest puffed out. Juan tried his best not took look threatened but his small step backwards betrayed his smug face. You peeked over Kozik’s shoulder and smiled around another bite of salad. Your brother looked between you and Kozik with a knowing smile but said nothing, turning to head into the clubhouse.

You knew Juan knew about your teeny tiny, minuscule crush on your fighting coach. Again the twin intuition, but knew better than to call you out on it. 

“You wanna pass me that wrench?” Kozik asked you once you had clipped the lid back on his tupperware tub.

He was pointing to a black handled tool in the tool box. All he had to do was bend down and grab it but he really was loving having you as his personal servant. With a sigh, you bent down to grab it and give it to him but he stood with his hand out stretched until you had placed it in his palm but even then he didn’t close his fingers around it.

“I meant the other one, the one next to it,” he said, that mischievous glint back in his eyes.

You sighed and raised your eyebrows at him before grabbing the other wrench and swapping it for the next size down. 

“No, the other one,” he grinned.

“Are you fucking kidding?”

“Less of the attitude mister,” he hit you in the chest with the wrench you had just given him before turning back into the car, “Clay is always watching you. You wanna be my butler forever?”

“If I don’t kill you first,” you muttered but turned away when you saw Clay peering at you through the blinds in the office.

“What?”

“Nothing man, just saying how much of an honour it would be.”

“Yeah. That’s what I thought you said.”

You laughed with him and brushed your shoulder against his as you lent under the hood to watch what he was doing, sharing a look with him before he turned back to his work with a smile on his face.

(legit have no idea how to write guys, i’m sorry!!)

[ocean-butch]

How is cas different from ur other girlfriends

akcjwjxia i had to wait like SIX HOURS to answer this bc of a goddamn test i had bUT OH BOY ANON AM I GONNA LOVE DOING IT alfjadjsk i just love talking about my gf i love her so much i wanna gush about her 25/8

the short answer would be basically in every way bUt imma do it part by part.

okay so, in a simplified version i’ve had relationships with people whose personalities worked well with me but who were shitty girlfriends or a good girlfriend who just didnt really fit with my personality. i’ve actually given that so much thought even before i met cass, but the point is that i met her and she was just perfect for me in both ways (technically its more complicated bc theres a bunch of logic into this that im not explaining bc my mind is weird and it would be Way too long but anyways). but ok let get into How she fits me perfectly.

first of all literally no one ever in my entire life has made me laugh as easily and genuinely as she does. im not even exaggerating, like laughing was never really A Thing for me to look for in girls bc it just never happened???? like i had fun conversations and stuff but there was never anyone that made me go “holy shit i have never laughed this much with anyone else” and we have So many inside jokes, which is a thing that i almost never have????? and i always used to wish i did bc everyone would talk about it and i’d feel like i just wasnt funny and That was the problem. and also this is really important bc its one of the things that made me realize that i liked (and eventually, came to love) her. bUT its not the only one so theres also like all these things that we like and we can talk about for HOURS like i remember when i watched infinity war and the first thing i did when i got home was call her and we talked about it for like 2 hours idek but it was great. the point is, we have a bunch of shared interests (which isnt like 100% necessary but its still really nice), wHICH LEADS ME TO: her music taste is amazing and i love that so much bc i love music With My Entire Soul and its the best thing in the fucking world (after cass & my friends and tied with the ocean) but yeah thats great too. AND i think more importantly than the last 2 things is that she is literally so fucking easy to talk to. like ever since the beginning we didnt really have that awkward phase where we run out of things to talk about and the conversation keeps dying like we never had that it just flowed so well and that was such a good feeling. another thing is also how comfortable i feel talking to her.

like i have never felt this way with any of my girlfriends bc i was always scared that i was gonna be annoying or say something Wrong and they’d start to realize i sucked and then break up with me, but shes just so kind and idk she just has this way about her that makes me feel at home and its always been there like i dont believe in love at first sight or anything like that but i swear to god the day after i met her i already felt like i could tell her anything and that was such a comforting thing and i needed that so badly at the time. i dont feel like i was able to describe this aspect very well tbh like im not doing it justice. like, she makes me feel like im not annoying at all, and like i could just randomly start ranting about anything and she would be like super invested in it, and just literally so comfortable in every sense of the word. she is my home, no ifs ands or buts, i just feel it every single time that we talk or that i simply think about her, and i have never felt this so clearly with anyone. and i think this comfort i feel with her is kinda connected with how she has always made me felt so appreciated, in a way that no one has ever done. like, i had like 2 tags about my wants and needs in a relationship, there was “my dream girl” to remind me that i shouldnt settle for anyone after i got out of a rlly bad relationship, and there was “things i wish someone would tell me” after my “first” relationship (i dont really count it bc Officially™ we only dated for a week) because my gf at the time would almost never be affectionate with me and it made me really insecure so i started that tag as a way to vent kinda. anyways my point is that i made those tags bc i would always feel super anxious in my relationships bc i never really felt loved or even wanted (aka the good personalities awful gfs relationships) i just felt like a burden and it was such a big thing for me.

okay now i’ll say that there Kinda was an exception to this before cass, because it would be unfair to say that that relationship was detrimental to my mental health, but it was still different. like, that ex did make me feel wanted most times, but not only did i still have A Lot of insecurities about the whole thing bc of some things she would say and do or not say and not do and i’d get like super uncomfortable or just sad really but also bc whenever the conversation would start to die out i was Absolutely Certain that she was gonna break up with me. it was pretty bad im not even joking. and like ofc my anxiety isnt her fault OR responsibility and like sure i still get anxious about cass sometimes but its not like that its basically just when she doesnt answer for a long time i think that something bad might have happened but even when my rude ass brain does try to tell me that she doesnt love me i KNOW that its not true, and that is a kind of peace that i have never ever had before. but anyways, so that was the good gf whose personality didnt fit mine and its weird now bc that is so obvious but i really didnt wanna believe it at the time even though i knew it wasnt gonna work out, but now its just really weird ngl (but i wont get into the why).

and now cass. wow okay let me tell you about cass. she is perfection. she is literally everything i have ever wanted AND things i didnt even know i wanted. she is everything no one else ever was and i just remembered that when we started dating in may i said that exact same sentence to abby. its just so true, she really is everything that no one else could be. because theyre not her. i’ve said this a lot of times but i really dont see how i could ever love anyone else after loving her, it just doesnt make sense to me because she really is like,, as good as it gets. there is no one better than her for me. we’re literally meant to be i s2g like when we broke up for a while i would tell everyone i wasnt really trying to move on at all bc i just hoped she would come back to me and i couldnt miss that chance. i knew she was my soulmate, although at some points i lost almost all hope (but never all) and i started thinking that maybe she was the love of my life but i wasnt the love of hers. and thats bc she really is everything ive ever dreamed of like she has all these little things that she does or say that sometimes wouldnt even mean anything to other people but to me they are So important bc theyre things ive dreamed about while my ex girlfriends ignored me akcjsjxn like, i was talking about how comfortable she feels to me and a big part of that comes from little things like the fact that even when we were just friends she would spam me when i was gone for a long time and that not only made me feel missed and appreciated but also it meant i could do that to her and it wouldnt be annoying bc she felt the same!! like, she missed me too! and me knowing that she actually Wanted to talk to me and the fact that she actually showed me she cared was super great when we started dating bc it made me feel like if i was feeling sad or insecure, i could literally just ask her to be a little more affectionate and it wouldnt feel fake bc i actually knew she cared. and you have No idea how much that meant to me bc i literally didnt know it was possible for me to feel that way. like honestly i thought it was an innate aspect of who i am that like if i asked for affection it would be meaningless? bc i’d be lowkey forcing the person to say something? but with her it felt different bc we had enough intimacy for me to feel comfortable enough to do that.

HOWEVER i never actually Had to do that bc i got insecure exactly once (1) on the first night we started dating back in may bc i didnt know how much she liked me and i was like in love with her so i thought she would think i was too much and then i told her i was sad and that i was gonna sleep and the next day when i woke up she said something along the lines of “how are you babe bc i remember you said you were sad last night and i couldnt stop thinking about it bc i want you to feel good all the time” and thats something so small but wow it just meant so much to me bc i would cry and beg any fucking force in the universe to make my last ex do Anything At All to try to make me Not Sad and it would be awful and i would feel so so unloved and then cass just said that and something clicked in me and i never doubted her feelings to an actual Meaningful extent while we’ve been together anymore (like ofc i get insecure sometimes and especially when we broke up, but while we have been dating ive never gotten like actually Sad™ specifically bc i wasnt sure she liked me) but it gets even better because some of the things she does are so so special that i never even imagined them like shes literally unreal, i literally never thought someone like her existed and its just so wild to me that i get to be with her.

and i know im saying a bunch of cliches but i mean it all so much like i remember when i was dating one of my exes i was learning her first language but she didnt try to learn mine and i really wished she would bc i just always loved the idea that someone would do that for me?? (and she was like the good gf so yknow,, just how that relationship literally did Not even compare to cass) and guess what yes cass is learning portuguese and its the cutest thing ever btw bUt the point is she does all the little things ive ever wanted in a partner (i literally have a post with a list of things i appreciate in a partner and she does all of them!! well, the ones that arent like irl or smth) also i literally have a draft in this blog that is a list of cute things cass has done/said that means a lot to me personally but i didnt post it yet ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ and like theres just so so many things that i havent talked about, like how im not even sure if i was ever in love with anyone of them anymore because what i feel for cass is just so different and so much more, or like how cass actually makes me want to try to get better, which ive never actually wanted before bc it always seemed to scary, like she literally makes me wanna be not only alive but also happy bc she makes me feel like i deserve it. she has been such a good influence on me and my mental health and thats so important and its the first time someone has been this good for me.

but anyways the point is that cass is right for me in every single way like she really is my other half she literally just is everything that she is and thats how shes different from my ex girlfriends.

[cannedapricot]

Baking Christmas Cookies with! Lai Guanlin

christmas collab with @alliwannado-w1 and @jihoonslattee!! make sure to check their special christmas scenarios out when they’re posted!

ah, christmas

the season of giving

children laughing and giggling 

the feeling of rolling around in snow with loved ones

basically what i’m trying to say is,

chirisTMAS IS A HOOT EVERY YEAR

NO SCHOOL

NO ANNOYING CLASSMATES

NO NOTHING

the only awkward thing you’d have to deal with is greeting the relatives who you didn’t know even existed until christmas

“oh my gosh!! y/n you’ve grown so much!!!”

mind: um do i know you 

mouth: “haha yeah”

relatives would start streaming into your house from december the first

those relatives were the ones who /really/ got into the christmas spirit

you know

the type that puts their tree up straight after halloween 

as more relatives come, you’d be forced into sharing a bedroom with your parents because,

“soz your aunt is coming over with her whole family

??????

ok fine :c

you just hope that her five kids won’t ruin your framed jbj poster

on the last day of school, you were ready to leg it

you and your friends had made plans to pig out and eat discounted christmas cakes for the evening 

so there you were in class

staring at the clock every other second

as your teacher drones on and on about staying safe during the holiday season

which is very important please do stay safe guys

and as soon as the bell rang, you and your friends dash towards the door and out into the hallway

everything was going smoothly

you had nearly made it out of the school 

UNTIL

you feel a tug on the back of your shirt

and yoU COULDN’T MOVE ANYMORE

YOU WERE GONNA BURST

LOOK THE CAKE STORE HAD A CRAZY SALE AND THOSE CAKES WERE WAITING FOR NO ONE

AND SO YOU TURN AROUND,

“HEY MATE LOOK I’M A LITTLE BUSY-”

“are you going to be around this evening”

“SO IF YOU COULD KINDLY LET GO- oh hi guanlin”

das right

you turn around to find the basketball team’s star player and ‘ideal guy’ of your school, lai guanlin

“of course i’m gonna be around i live there”

you reply with an eye roll

hm why was guanlin heading over to your house?

get ready for a long ride kid

well, your parents are super close with his parents thanks to some complicated events

and your parents, being the jolly people they are, invite the lais to spend christmas over at your house every year

there was a room in house especially saved for their family???

a majority of guanlin’s winter clothes were in that room because he knOWS THAT HE’LL BE THERE AT THE END OF THE YEAR

if he runs out of hoodies or smt

he’d text you to bring him one tomorrow

and you guys meet in the janitor’s closet

lMAO WHAT KINDA SHADY DEAL Y’ALL DOING BACK THERE 👀👀👀

guanlin’s friend and other hot basketballer, yoo seonho caught you two once

he followed guanlin one time because he was curious 

look this boy waS SURE AS HELL NOT HEADING TOWARDS THE BATHROOM 

and he busted you two in the closet with you holding his hoodie 

and he was like

oooooOOOOOOOOOOHHHHH I SEE ;)))) 

*finger guns while moonwalking away*

it took a lot of persuading to get seonho to not say anything

y’all bought him a month’s worth of lunch rip wallet

what’s worse was the time the whole school thought you two were dating

you had run out of sweaters and complained to your mom about it

she pulled out this jacket outta no where and figured it was yours

it had your school’s logo on it you see

and you didn’t think twice and wore it to school

bUT TURNS OUT

IT WAS THE BASKETBALL TEAM’S VARSITY JACKET

AND GUANLIN HAD MENTIONED SOMETHING ABOUT HIS VARSITY JACKET GONE MISSING A FEW DAYS AGO

YOU TWO WERE THE HOT TOPIC OF THE SCHOOL

RIP YOU

it died down after a few weeks though

you had made some excuse of finding it on your desk and thinking it was yoo seonho’s (who you pretended to be /really/ close with)

guanlin played along with this excuse

seonho was just,,,,,

;))))))))))))))))

“DON’T”

“i’m ;) not ;) saying ;) anything ;)”

THIS BITCJ

the relationship between you and guanlin was like a ‘summer fling’

except

it wasn’t summer and it wasn’t a romantic fling

like

y’all would be super close during the holiday season 

due to the fact that you two were the only high schoolers there lol

but as soon as school starts again

y’all back to strangers

the first time it happened you were shocked :ccc

you thought that perhaps guanlin was too embarrassed to be caught hanging out with you

considering he was at the top of the food chain after all

you’re used to it now lol

sure, guanlin was tall and hot and whatnot 

but uh

seeing him in ugly sweaters and playing board games with him every year kinda ruins the way you see him

especially since he destroys you at monopoly every year bduSDVU HOW DARE-

“aiight i’ll be coming over tonight”

“gotcha”

HONESTLY IF ANYONE HEARD THIS CONVO WITHOUT CONTEXT YOU AND GUANLIN ARE GONNA BE TALK OF THE SCHOOL AGAIN LOL

“HEY Y/N IF YOU DON’T HURRY UP WE’RE GONNA LEAVE WITHOUT YOU”

guanlin lets you go with a snap of his wrist

he let go so suddenly that you fall to the ground lol

guanlin pretends to not notice and heads towards his squad lmAO

“OKOKOK IM COMING OK DONT L E A V E”

you scramble up and towards your friends

that evening, you return home with a full stomach and your arms full with different boxes of cakes

man the cake shop adventure was a blast

you get surrounded by your baby cousins almost immediately lol

after you basically get robbed by them,

guanlin appears with a pouty face

you know, that face he made when the pink sausages were being cute together ikcydkfkd

“you said you’d be here”

“i????am????here?????”

“i meANT EARLIER”

oh

“YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH THE CHILDREN ABUSED ME :CCCC”

wow what a turn from your convo together at school

he’s adorable

WOWZAS HOLD UP Y/N NO ROMANTIC THOUGHTS ABOUT YOUR PARENT’S FRIEND’S SON WHO HAPPENS TO BE THE HOT STAR BASKETBALL PLAYER AT SCHOOL >:(

you push the thoughts away as his parents come to greet you

in no time, you fell into the rhythm of seeing guanlin everyday

you had to tbh, he’d force you awake every morning by playing shitty christmas carol remixes and singing along to them

“aLL i waNt fOr cHRIStmas iS yOUUuuUuUuuuUU”

“SHUT UP YOU DIRTY TOENAIL” 

FLINGS PILLOW

LETS OUT DOLPHIN SCREECH IN RESPONSE

it was cold and you just wanted to sleep in :’’’’c

you can’t believe this dumbass is the same guy from school who everyone except seonho lol thinks is a model

you and guanlin were basically joined by the hip everyday

“oh hey y/n can you swoop by the store and buy some milk?”

“sure buT CAN GUANLIN COME????”

“YEAH CAN I COME???”

but he’d wear a mask in case someone from school shows up at the store

on the way home, he saw you rub your hands together and realized that you weren’t wearing gloves

anD BEING THE SWEET, SWEET BOY HE IS

HE TAKES YOUR HAND IN HIS GLOVED ONE AND SHOVES IT INTO THE POCKET OF HIS JACKET

IM NOT CRYING YOU ARE

you stare at him

he suddenly finds a wall interesting

but he didn’t let go of your hand 

even though it was in his pocket already

you thought he was just being a gentleman you know he is and trying to keep your hand as warm as possible

BUTTTTTTTTT

YOU DON’T SEE HIS FACE SLOWLY GLOWING RED

my scenarios would be so much simpler if y’all juST KNOW ABOUT EACH OTHER’S CRUSH UGH

come christmas eve, the adults were like,

“we’re gonna take the kids out to see the parade and then go carolling, we all know that you two don’t want to join us!! so bake the cookies pls lol ok bye have fun”

it was a thing every year to bake cookies and leave them for santa

usually anything that had to do with food was the adults’ duty

bUT THIS YEAR THEY DEEMED YOU TWO MATURE ENOUGH TO MAKE COOKIES WITHOUT BURNING THE HOUSE DOWN

you two acted like the babies there but ok

“so,,,, wanna get started?”

“hell no lmao lets marathon show me the money”

best believe that’s exactly what you two did

until you realize it’s been hours since they’ve left

anD THEY COULD COME HOME ANY MINUTE

SO IN PANIC YOU CHUCK THE TV REMOTE AWAY FROM GUANLIN WHO WAS READY TO PULL UP ANOTHER EPISODE

“BRO WYD”

“BRO WE NEED TO START ON THE COOKIES UNLESS YOU WANT TO GET BEATEN UP BY THE CHILDREN AGAIN”

“BRO U RIGHT”

guanlin steps over the sofa with his damned long legs

“you’re so extra man”

guanlin squints his eyes at you skeptically

you were literally rolling over the sofa

“who’s the extra one again?”

you huff because shit hes right you’re even more extra than he is

guanlin pulls out the recipe left for you two while you grab what you were 100% sure that you two would need

a bowel? check

flour? check

chocolate chips? oh they’re in the pantry-

NOT ANYMORE

GUANLIN’S GOT THEM

AND HE’S S N A C K I N G ON THEM

you, an intellectual, run up and try to take them away

but guanlin raises them above his head

this boy’s a giant

anD HE KNOWS THAT

he sends you a shit eating grin as you attempt to take the packet by jumping lol

in the end, you punch him in the stomach

and as he doubles over in pain, snatch the chocolate away

how to deal with tall people 101 by yours truly

you run back to the kitchen, choco chips in hand

WHILE LAUGHING LIKE A CHILD SMH Y/N

and guanlin, claiming you cheated, ran after you

“SAFE!!!”

you scream, reaching the kitchen

turning around, you were ready to tease guanlin about his loss

but he was right in front of you

there was only a tiny distance between your bodies

BOY HE WAS CLOSE

“yoU KNOW WHAT,,,,,, HAVE THE CHOCOLATE CHIPS DAMMIT”

YOU TURN YOUR BACK TO HIM, FLUSTERED

guanlin smiled as you chucked him the sweet treat

not at the chocolate but at how adorable you were

“i’ll leave enough for the cookies don’t worry!!”

he did alright

there was an average of two chips per cookie

it’s :) ok :))

it’ll :))) have :)))) to :))))) do :))))))

guanlin was off to the side licking off the left over batter from the bowl

>:( this boy didn’t do shit but eat and stir the batter

you were stuck with measuring and making sure that they don’t fail >:(

siGHS

you shove the cookies into the oven and squat in front of it for a while, making sure that it was baking for sure

until you feel something hit your back

snapping your head back in shock, you see guanlin with the bag of flour in his arms

HIS LAUGHING FACE SAID IT ALL

“okAY JUST BECAUSE WE DIDN’T HAVE A SNOWBALL FIGHT THIS YEAR DOESN’T MEAN YOU CAN-”

whoops theres another handful of flour 

that hit your face

upon seeing this, guanlin doubles over in laughter

“ALRIGHT YOU ASKED FOR THIS”

you picked up the ingredient closest to you and threw it in guanlin’s direction

it just happened to be an egg

IT HIT HIS ARM AND CRACKED

IT WAS NOW YOUR TURN TO LAUGH

“Y/N!!! I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU DID THAT!!! THIS JUMPER IS EXPENSIVE”

but it didn’t really matter how expensive that jumper is

it ended up covered in all sorts of things

and that’s how your kitchen floor ended up too

the playful handful of flour guanlin threw at you started a full on food fight

the kitchen was MESS but neither of you cared, you guys were waaAAAY too happy to care lma o

at one point y’all started to use spoons as catapults 

guanlin’s bag of flour seemed endless but you had run out of eggs

so you duck behind a counter and scan the kitchen for anything else you could use as ammo lol

your eyes landed on the butter but you hesitated for a second

A SECOND TOO LONG

GUANLIN DISCOVERERS YOUR HIDEOUT AND DUMPS THE REST OF THE FLOUR ON YOU

“GAME OVER”,

HE SCREECHES IN VICTORY

WHO KNEW YOUR SECOND OF HESITATION WOULD LEAD TO YOUR DOWNFALL

you scowl

“i let you win”

he scoffs

“you just don’t want to admit that i’m b e t t e r than you”

huFFS

YOU STAND UP, SLAMMING YOUR HANDS ON THE COUNTER

“thATS BECAUSE YOU AREN’T!!!!!!!!!”

he playfully puts his hands on the counter as well on the opposite side

“then tell me why i keep beating you at monopoly as well”

“i’m sENSITIVE DON’T BRING THAT U P”

“oh really?”

“Y E S”

“do you wanna have a go at beating me at connect four then?”

without noticing, the two of you had starting leaning towards each other over the counter

when you realize, your playful banter had ceased and you were staring into his eyes

and

shit

you realize at that moment that you were completely head over heels for him

your feelings for him had been building every winter leading up to his one

you had thought that they were completely platonic

but your burning face told you that they weren’t

you notice guanlin’s eyes looking down at your lips

and his adam’s apple going crazy

you gather up the little courage you had

leaned in 

and pressed a small kiss on his nose

guanlin’s head went blank

diD HIS CRUSH JUST-

you let out a small giggle and say,

“if you wanted to kiss me, you could’ve just done so”

“waIT WHAT DOES THIS MEAN???”

ur man is almost gonna faint gdi

“do yoU NEED ME TO PUT IT INTO WORDS? UGH I CAN’T BELIEVE I FELL FOR AN IDIOT”

guanlin’s lips raise into a smile

“you like me?”

“BOSUGBOURSB I’M TAKING IT BACK”

“doN’T! OK UH I LIKE YOU TOO DUMBASS”

“WAIT FOR REAL??”

you hop over the counter so there wasn’t anything between you and him

and guanlin lets out a smile bright enough to rival the sun

“yeah”

and with that, he brings you into a huge hug

and falls onto the couch with you in his arms

“guaNLIN WE’RE GONNA GET THE COUCH DIRTY”

“WHO CARES LMAO”

you snuggle against him

even though he was covered in egg lol

“hey guanlin, can i ask you something?”

“mhm?”

“why do you act like you don’t know me at school?”

“i-it’S A STUPID REASON”

“WHAT?????????”

“I THINK I’D BURST FROM AFFECTION FOR YOU IF I SAW YOU EVERY DAY FOR A YEAR”

“ARE YOU SERIOUS??”

you two were idiots

but you were idiots for each other

bonus: you two fell asleep in each other’s arms and the rest of the family came home just in time to save the cookies from burning

“i knEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN LOOK AT THAT M E S S”

no body heard that one aunt rant about the state the kitchen was in

everyone crowded around you and guanlin

cooing at your sleeping forms

“mom, are they gonna have kids???”

“uobaoBVODVBSO BILLY NO”

bonus x2: guanlin happily shows you off the next year at school

seonho the snake in this au made a bet with your friends and now your friends owe him a month’s lunch

bonus x3: you two share your official first kiss on new years hoW CUTE SVEFUDOS GOALS AMIRITE

y’all ready for christmas?? haVE A SPECIAL COLLAB SCENARIO THAT’S HAPPENING WITH IRIS AND CHI AKA TALENT IF IT WERE PEOPLE

guanlin may look chic and all at first but we all know he’s a actual child inside :’) i don’t think i did my boy justice with this au but i added my son seonho!! :’)

have a safe holiday and more christmas aus will be out very soon this week oops

[cherryblossomcrush]

kwon soonyoung (hoshi) | university au

This is just really long lil headcanon since I’ve not finished writing any of my wips or gotten close to completion, I’m really sorry :(

infatuated hoshi x oblivious and conflicted reader (ft wingman jihoon)

so,, hoshi is known to be a bright ray of sunshine that dances amazingly and,,, well,,,, a bit of an unorganised student

the reason being, is that he’s so passionate about dancing and dedicates most of his free time practicing his free time including sleeping a full 8 hours

whenever he has class scheduled in the morning he wakes up late, phone in hand and bag on his shoulder as he runs out of his dorm screaming his head off

he only just makes it in time for class and when he sits down, he sets up his phone to record the lesson and falls asleep immediately

you know of hoshi, and vice versa, through mutual friends

you’ve met before and talked a bit, but you aren’t what would be considered close friends even though you both share the same music class

and as it turns out, his reputation precedes him as you idolise him for his creative choreography, undeniable talent and outgoing personality

you have also always wanted to be friends with him,,, but deep down, you feel like you’d like to be a bit more than just friends

you happen to sit beside him by chance one day and see him go about his routine but,,,

halfway though the class you notice his phone is running low on battery

so being the kind person you are, you sacrifice your own phone’s battery to save hoshi’s grades

and as if a curse has been lifted, hoshi wakes up once class is done and packs up to leave

but before he can, you take your chance to speak up “you’re actually pretty smart”

and hoshi is like ?? what do you mean???

so you explain “oh, I just never thought to record lessons”

and he’s,, kinda embarrassed but also pretty bashful at someone calling him smart

meanwhile you realise that you have no means of sharing the rest of the video that you took for him so you abruptly ask “by the way, what’s your phone number?”

and hoshi just,,, he’s shook to say the least like how sudden yet smooth was that??

and you quickly realise from his expression that,, oh,,, oh no,,,,, this is a BIG misunderstanding

“I just wANTED TO KNOW BC YOUR PHONE RAN OUT OF BATTERY AND I TOOK A VIDEO FOR THE REST OF THE LESSON FOR YOU-” but you stop before you embarrass yourself any further

,,, and you two just stand there awkwardly in silence for a while,,,

“I-I have something really important that I need to attend to s-so,, uh you could ask jihoon for my number, sorry”

you don’t know why, but you can’t help but feel dejected as you let out a quiet sure and watch him go

“that boy,, is so dumb”

is the first thing jihoon says after you finish telling him about the whole ordeal

“he’s so careless and im sorry that you had to do this for him”

“no it’s okay, I just thought that we could be friends if I did this”

and jihoon is like “friends?? I thought you were-” until he realises that oh,,, OH i get it now

and you’re like whatwhatwhat

but all jihoon says is “nothing~” before he tells you where to find hoshi if you want his number

and,, you frown bc you don’t want to be rejected again,,, especially in person,,, TWICE

instead, you say goodbye to jihoon as you go back to your dorm to study

a few hours later, you get a text from jihoon saying “i need some help with writing lyrics for my song. go to the recording room, ill be there in a bit.”

it’s weird and unlike him, but you comply and make your way there and see jihoon smiling brightly

“hey, thanks for coming here on short notice, but could you going into the recording booth? I need to see if this sounds good with the melody”

you agree, entering the dark room and, low and behold, it’s a confused hoshi staring back at your equally confused face

“hoshi?”

“he locked me in here”

then you hear a little familiar laugh as the door closes behind the two of you with a click and jihoon talking through the mic

“hey nerds, talk to each other and confess or whatever and I’ll let you out”

and hoshi lets out an awkward laugh “so uh this is weird, I’m sorry about jihoon I had no idea that he’d do something like this”

you want to brush off the apology and make a joke but you’re curious, too curious about what jihoon meant “what did he mean by confess?”

hoshi’s laughter quietens down as he starts to fiddle with his shirt and a light blush appears on his cheeks

“w-well, I kinda have a thing for you. I really admire you and your musical talent,,, m-maybe I admire you a bit too much”

and you’re like “oh wow,, I don’t know what to say” bc you’ve admired him from afar for such a long time and you’re unsure about your feelings

and suddenly hoshi has felt the same?????

“its okay, please don’t feel pressured, you don’t have to say anything.” so you don’t and just sit there until you speak up again

“I really respect you and your talent, and I don’t want to confuse my feelings with that”

and hoshi,,,, hoshi lets out a soft defeated oh then says “so do you have feelings for me or?”

“I’m not entirely sure” and it’s silent again

jihoon thinks that he may have messed up big time and is about to get up to unlock the door when,,, “how about we go on a date? just to help confirm your feelings?”

at first you’re shocked, caught off guard at hoshi’s sudden proposal, but you consider it “ok, one date but please don’t get your hopes up”

hoshi is ecstatic and jihoon is pleased with himself, finally letting the two of you out

“don’t forget to exchange numbers!” and you don’t but only thanks to jihoon

that night, hoshi texts you the details of your date for next week and your heart jumps a bit at the thought

the next few days hoshi greets you with a smile, sits next to you and goes to sleep during class

you never notice it but he actually looks really,,, adorable,, even with drool coming out of his mouth

the night before your date with hoshi, you’re panicking and need jihoon to calm you down

“he’s whipped, fifty dollars he’d genuinely compliment if you showed up covered in blood. also, why are you so worried about how you look if you don’t like him that way?”

“I never said I didn’t return his feelings, I was just confused”

“but now you’re sure?” you dont respond and instead look through your clothing for an outfit to wear when your friend advises you to go for a dress and heels

but once you meet with hoshi, you feel overdressed when he leads you to an arcade

though he assures you saying “it’s fine and you look beautiful” and making you blush

as the date progresses, you begin to have fun and learn more about hoshi

“I like dancing a lot, but I want to write my own songs, in fact jihoon has been helping write lyrics”

“is that how he lured you into the recording studio?”

“pFt what? no,,,,,,,,, yeah it was”

hoshi lead you to his favourite game, and surprise, it’s ddr

but what hoshi doesn’t know is that you’re beast at ddr and beat the renowned dancer at his own game,,, quite literally

“I think I’m in love”

“shut it kwon, we’re here to fight to the death”

“,,,,,, through the language of LOVE AKA DANCING”

it’s all fun and games until the clock hits 9 pm and you realise that you have a song to finish composing within two days

so, gentleman hoshi drapes his jacket over your shoulders and escorts you home

the walk is silent, not awkward and tense like before, but,,, comforting

“ive always wanted to be a dancer, nothing else ever really came to mind whenever someone asked what I wanted to be” hoshi’s voice is soft as he speaks

“everyone has always said that it’s not realistic, that it’s too competitive, that I might get hurt,,,” you continue to listen, his voice becoming croaky

“I’ve been told that the dancing is the only thing I know how to do and even im not considered good enough no matter how much I practice,,,

you hold his hand and squeeze it in reassurance ”,,, or that I’m not smart enough for any normal job and that’s why I chose dancing as my major"

“at first i envied how smart and talented you were so I tried to compete against you secretly, but over time, I began to realise that you weren’t competition, but someone I looked up to”

“you were one of the main reasons why I continued to dance, because you motivated and gave me the courage and strength to continue, thank you”

you’re too shocked and flustered at the revelations to notice that you’ve arrived as you absentmindedly watch hoshi walk away

you could turn around and go to your room,,,,, or,,, you could chase after hoshi right now at this very moment

you choose the latter, running in heels to catch up to hoshi

“oh my god, are you ok-”

“I was wrong”

when those words leave your mouth, hoshi believes that he has never felt so confused about anything until he met you

“before I said I didn’t want to mix my adoration with artificially forced love but really,,, i confused liking you with idolising you because, well, you’re kwon soonyoung, super star dancer hoshi,,,, and im just me”

it’s your turn to be confused and surprised as hoshi takes your hand into his kisses you gently

and wow,,, WOW fireworks are going off in your head

“even if you or others view yourself as average, that would be far from the truth, and even if that was true,,, Id still love you the way you are”

this time, you initiate the kiss and both pull away with wide goofy grins

“does this mean we can go on more dates?”

“mhm, just remember that i rule at ddr, dance king”

[ketterdamns]

a brief history

so anyway i’ve been doing a lot of work over the last year (hence why im kinda awol and maybe less positive than I used to be) and the biggest thing that has always come up is to stop retreating when I need to be honest about the things that have happened to me, when acknowledging the things in my life that have damaged me and also as an exercise to let trust my friends and others not to use this information to hurt me- the only power of these words in the hands of others is what I perceive them to have. if i give it away freely and own it it can no longer be used to hurt me, or at least, that is the general idea i might regret this. i might not. i just think i need to try because im so so so tired. 

Anyway, under the cut; csa, parental and spousal abuse, rape, trauma,drugs, addiction, basically all of the triggers. a slightly optimistic ending tho!!! 

Additionally; if you read this, please can you in some way acknowledge that u have, via text, whatsapp, dm, pm, messages, likes (no reblogs pls!!)  just so i can keep track of who knows what ty!!!!

its really hard to admit that ive never had a stable home life. never even had a stable home, from the moment i was in the womb my mum was running, away from my dad (who never let her go), from my dad’s mum- who wanted me dead for reasons my mum has never been able to divulge, from poverty and homelessness throughout my formative years. 

That’s when it started maybe, I was about 3-4/5 we ended up having to move in with my uncle (my dads brother) and his wife. it was an uncomfortable situation for all, we were a family of four intruding on newlyweds, but we were desperate and immigrants to a new country without qualifications for work or money to support us or even a job to hold down. My mum tried her best, but my brother was one and i was two years older. I ended up spending a lot of time with my uncle, who often “took me off of her hands” for afternoons. I don’t rly remember those afternoons, except that I would always play up beforehand, not wanting to go. At some point, my aunt caught on, and instead of talking to her husband, or throwing his pedo ass out, she took out her ??jealousy?? on me, and started pinching me so hard i bruised. she would blame me for my uncle’s behaviour. i was a “madame” pretending to be his “princess”, my mum caught her hitting me, and packed our bags immediately, despite my father not allowing us to leave. we had to stay in that house for another two months, and this is when my mum would never want to let me out of her sight again. And this is also the beginning of the pattern that my dad would allow these things to happen to me but I was just a baby. I didn’t understand. I didn’t know what was happening or why they were. No-one spoke to me and I had no one else in my life at that time. 

We spent some really uncomfortable years in uncomfortable places, but honestly being homeless for that year, and then moving into council accommodation was sort of the least of my worries. I was eight years old the time I was sexually and emotionally abused by my other uncle (also my dad’s brother). It was my first trip back to our home country My grandma spent all her time telling me I was awful (it turns out... she’s a piece of shit) all because I refused to call her “Mum”, she wanted to kidnap me and my brother, and idk what else. but we scuppered her plans by not going along with it. It was a very toxic and scary environment, so when my Uncle would invite me into his next door flat, and treat me with kindness, I was overjoyed. Finally, another adult I could trust! My grandparents used to police food, and essentially only allowed me one meal a day. Back in the UK we were very poor, and rarely got to have sweets unless they were gifts from other people, so my uncle already had the perfect tool to entice me. That first summer, I ate sweets and let him pamper me, slowly giving him more and more affection like sitting on his lap etc, because it meant more sweets for me and my brother. he was my favourite person in the world and i was sure that he was the one person i could truly trust and talk to about anything. I used to dream of moving in with him and living peacefully, well fed, in a quiet cosy environment. The next summer, I was nine, and my dad had almost finished his uni, meaning we were expecting more money. I had my fill of sweets. He bought me toys instead. Slowly, his requests for affection turned into demands. Slowly, his affection turned into something twisted and horrible, something dirty. I once tried to raise the point to my grandma, that sometimes my uncle did things that scared me. she told me off for being a coward. I didn’t say anything. I was getting toys, my little brother was being fed, my mum finally had a friend in my dads side of the family in him. I knew enough about unstable homes that the slightest disagreement could lead to homelessness again and I didnt want that. Maybe my silence was my strength. 

This was confirmed when he raped me when I was 12. It is the last time I will ever see that side of the family. I was in shock the whole time, I didn’t know what to do. When we got home, back onto firm cold soil and the safety of our shitty one bedroom council flat in the roughest estate , I opened up to my dad that for years i’d been terrorised by my uncle and afraid of saying something. Dads were supposed to protect their little girls from big bad men, even if that man was their brother. 

All I got for my troubles was another man who began to hurt me. Outraged that I’d ever speak something so horrible my dad began to beat me. Constantly. And if my mum got involved? He’d beat her too. she didn’t even know what was happening, but there was a point she also went silent, and it was all on me to bear the pain I’d tried to share. The following summer, my uncle died in a freak accident When I heard the news I laughed because I couldn’t help myself, and getting hit for it was worth it for the news. I never had to see him again.  He died and I was free. Except my dad never quite forgot what I had said, and he never forgave me for it. 

Anyway by this point I was a teenager, we moved again and constantly over the years until we properly settled and actually bought a house and I had a strong group of friends who didn’t mind my weirdness and my lack of skills. My mum at this point couldnt bear that I was branching out from her bubble, and something snapped in her too, she started to search my room, stalk my friends, refuse to let me out. honestly.. no i dont blame her (even tho her behaviour hasnt changed and im 23, but at the time? it increased how trapped i felt)

I was a teenager and I had a best friend. She loved a boy named DJ who was 18. DJ used to stalk me, and I kept quiet because I knew she liked him and I knew speaking up would cause me more trouble. I could look after her, and myself. DJ assaulted me one night at a party. I shouldn’t have been there and I shouldn’t have been doing what I was doing. I was already experimenting with drinks and drugs because I was dead inside anyway. he hurt me and then told my best friend that i’d hooked up with him and hoodwinked him into getting with me because i wanted to hurt her. within days that story was around school. i was the easy kid who would sleep with anyone for the drama, and i was quiet. i was terrified news would get to my mum, or my little brother who was also starting at that school. but most of all i was terrified of telling my side of the story, and to be hurt more than i was hurting already. I unfriended them all, and even though DJ continued to stalk me i kept quiet. DJ sent me a necklace with a dove, explaining the significance was that the dove was my innocence or some other weird creepy crap. my mum found it in the bin where id tried to bury it under rubbish i told her a fraction of the truth, I was being harassed by a boy and I didn’t welcome his advances. I didn’t tell her it was already too late. The school of course told him to keep away, and he did for the most part, and one time he tried to corner me while I was skiving off of a class and there was no one around, I ran and went to tell a teacher. I got told to “grow up” and sometimes “we have to get along with people we dont like”. I was the villain in their eyes. I swore  I would do everything in my power to get out of this school, go to the grammar in a new city where my reputation . DJ was arrested this year for online grooming an d sharing child pornography, and it honestly breaks my heart that its been going on for so long. maybe i should have said more, but who to? 

My time at school wasn’t all bad. And i had my first real positive experience with an older man. My english teacher once caught me unawares and I had a panic attack at being alone with a man-- he was gentle and kind, and worked with me to get to where i wanted to be grades-wise. he let me borrow his books and told me stories about his own son and i understood what real love meant, and it broke me that i’d never experienced it. 

My brother had grown so big now, and threatened my dad. if he ever lay another finger on one of us under our roof, my brother would kill him. my brother spent his childhood learning to fight, he’s in the runnings for the Olympics. My dad recognised the threat was real. And never hit me when my brother was home. However, when my brother wasn’t home... that was another story. my silence then was another kind of strength. I couldnt tell him the truth, because if he followed through on this threat, his life would be over. My dad got more sneaky, he would avoid my face, he’d grab my ankle and twist it so tight that it’s now forever fucked up. 

Despite all my fucked-up ness I did make it to grammar school, despite my parents not wanting me to go there. And im so glad i did. I finally had two years with minimal assault. My dad hurt me sometimes? The first night after my induction class because summer break, my dad took my prized hockey stick- one I’d worked long days to afford, and smashed it on my leg. I had to get crutches and didn’t leave my house for most of the summer, because I didn’t want to explain what happened. I couldn’t play my sport ever again properly. I lied to my friends and told them i was in my home country for the summer. i legit did not leave my house unless it was for doctors appts. 

 occasional nights he would be tired of me doing nothing but homework or making projects, or being loud. Alternately, he’d hate it when suddenly i became withdrawn and uncommunicative. when i physically couldn’t move etc. anyway turns out these were symptoms of my MI which wouldn’t be diagnosed for a long while, despite trying to find what was wrong with me from this point onwards.  but!!! for the most part! it was great! my school was in another city! i had freedom for a couple hours every day to do what i wanted! i made friends who embraced my weirdness! i had no reputation and i had my very own laptop finally so i could finally have some privacy!

too much privacy, i refused to give my mum my laptop password. hearing this, my dad threw my laptop down the stairs. 

i used what little money i had from part time jobs to fix it, but its something im resentful of to this day. my mum, in her eagerness to protect me, just let him hurt me again. 

anyway blah blah blah i moved to london and it was amazing i ran away i was free everything was going to change and i was finally going to be the person i always knew i was destined to be! chic and cosmopolitan and cool and confident and most importantly, safe, and comfortable, and in control. And I was. and then three weeks before halloween it happened again. i’d been away from home for two months now, and i’d started dabbling in harder drugs than weed, but that night i was not high. i was not in withdrawal. i was only drunk. i got raped again. this time, i did report it, but only because my housemates knew it had happened. i got rushed to A&E where they are legally required to call the police. the police took me to their HQ and i was interviewed. they arrested him. none of this was my choice, and my lack of silence led to a lack of control. I know ive been detailed already, but i wont go into detail about the rape kits they have and the questions i got asked and the journalists who dogged me and the nosy gossips who wanted to know the juicy deets. I don’t want to go into detail about how i realised I was a victim and was always going to be a victim, and i cant go into detail about the most recent abuses, not yet. All I know is i once thought i was in love with a boy called ‘T’, and what he did to me was worse because he made me believe this was all I could get and that I had to settle. He made me believe that him getting off on my trauma was love, instead of him picturing me as a child repeatedly brutalised by my male relatives. The moment I came to my senses and he was gone, I realised I was alone again. I failed my second year of uni, because the day before my final exam, my rapists wife found my house in london, idk how. She and her child begged me to help her husband’s appeal. I sympathised with her, she was a non-native with broken english looking after her kid. She reminded me of my mum. I told her for her chid’s sake and for her sake, I couldn’t. She cursed me and nothing has been the same since. actually, the lovely people of tumblr helped me raise the funds to complete summer school and carry on with my life. i now hold a masters degree. i remember each and every one of u who donated or signal boosted. i also remember my choice to keep his wife out of it, and not mention her. silence was golden. 

This year my rapist  was deported after raping another person when he was released for good behaviour. 

anyway. despite all of this magnitude of shit that has happened to me. despite my numerous addictions that im still working thru (im sorry if u knew me when i was nothing but a junkie. at 19/20 I was not a good person and anything I said that was thoughtful or provocative came from a bad place. I gave bad advice and abused my medication alongside brown and alcohol. My manic episodes got worse than I’ve ever experienced and usually led to me some very dark very scary places. I’m mostly better now but the last year has Been A Lot. I tried to kill myself twice. Once, I was saved by police, which is... embarrassing and I lied my ass off (and brandished the fact i was a MASTERS STUDENT OF LAW and they had entirely the wrong end of the stick) and another time, i was saved by chance. I am making so much progress tho. I’m proud of me. I’ve become more independent. I’m not afraid to speak out when I’m dissatisfied now. I know strength comes from knowing what you want and what you don’t want, not settling for the worst because unknown reactions in my imagination are worse than whatever reality has in store. 

im graduating from my masters next week. i feel as tho ive lost a lot of friends and people i cared about- all i can say is im sorry. i’m trying. but if i fuck up, its on me. if i speak too loudly and it hurts you, please tell me. if i dropped away, its because i had to work on me, and im sorry, and im ready to come back, if you’ll have me.  I’m really excited about the future, but im scared too. the last three months have been so hard and every day i feel like giving up again, but I won’t. there has to be a reason i survived all this, and im yet to find it, but i hope i will. im still going thru shit. my dad is still the worst. but i have a really lovely partner who is so so so patient with me- more than i deserve, im in touch with a doctor and a sleep therapist, my brother is looking out for me and im getting in touch with old friends, and im making new ones all the time. thank you for sticking by me, and sorry for the long read. i just had to get it out there you know? its my truth and the silence was killing more than anything else in this stupid story is. ive left lots of details out, but parts of my story interlink with others and other parts im still holding onto, i cant share everything online i think thats enough oversharing for a long long time. 

[drferox]

20 Questions with Dr Ferox #12

I am beyond tired folks, struggling to set by body clock back after a night shift again. It’s a peculiar mix of grunge and headache without having done anything super fun to deserve it, so my apologies if I’m a little slow on the uptake.

But here I have 20 more questions and comments you’ve sent me, so lets get into them. I have tried to tag the question askers, but if you asked on Anon then you’ll have to look through yourself to see if you’ve been answered yet.

Anonymous said: How is Lucifer doing? Are you still seeing him? I checked the archives, but I didn't see any updates past a point and I was curious about the bunbun.

Lucifer isn’t my rabbit, he’s a client’s rabbit. I last saw him several months ago, and if he’s not unwell there’s no reason why I should need to see him more than once a year. This is how it works for most of our patients.

Anonymous said: Has a cat actually swatted at your braid like in your icon?

Yes, younger cats mostly. Trash Bag did it a lot. Dogs go for it too, but they’re more snatching than swatting and that isn’t as cute.

@anonymousautonomousavatar said: in your photos, Trash Bag always looks like you've just caught him doing something naughty and he's trying to think of a way to get out of trouble, and i think that's beautiful

Is he? You know there’s probably a reason for that.

@ ske-lee-ton said: I remember a while ago you mentioned a mewly discovered, rare colouring in domestic cats, like "inverted colourpoint", being darker with white faces and ears, etc. I can't remember the name of it though. I've been looking all over but I can't find it again, but it was interesting and I wanted to show my friend. Do you remember what I'm on about?

I finally found it again. It’s the Karpati colour.

Anonymous said: We have a 17 year old, very lazy, rescue chihuahua mix. She has always been lazy, and she started slowing down even more, and so were like oh shes just old as balls. She wound up getting 5 teeth pulled, and since shes just been as perky as ever, and she even kinda jumps again when excited. This made my mom realize that we really DO need to get our dogs teeth cleaned regularly. Without abscessed teeth, we think our dog may be imortal. Story to encourage owners to clean doggos teeth!

Best of luck to you and your little dog. Dental health is important, but because it degrades so gradually it is often mistaken for just getting older.

@unicorndoggo asked: Is there any nail polish you would recommend that's non-Toxic and dries fast? I might give my puppy a spa day 😜

I’m sorry but I’m not familiar with any nail polishes, I don’t use any makeup even on myself so can’t make any recommendations.

Anonymous asked: Why do some dogs like to chase cars?

Because they move and make a noise.

Also they learn that if they bark and run after the thing, the thing leaves, and they think they have done that so they continue to do it to make the cars leave.

@fossore said: Hi, that question about the ethics of horse riding made me think about the horse post and the part about galloping horses damaging their internal organs, and if I remember correctly that study was done on thoroughbreds. Since thoroughbreds have been bred for a long time to go fast, is it reasonable to assume that a horse without that breeding wouldn't put the same kind of stresses on its internal systems even when going full bore? Or is it more integral to the biomechanics than I'm realizing?

The study I know was done on thoroughbreds, because they’re very common, easily accessible and there’s lots of money behind them. It’s literally just these are the research subjects available. While we may not be able to extrapolate for smaller, pony type horses, we probably can still extrapolate that information for larger breeds. It may also explain why even with modern planed breeding there hasn’t been significant improvement in the racing speed of these horses, they may be approaching their physical limit. It’s interesting to speculate though, and a wild horse will not spend any more time than it absolutely has to running at its top speed. It will only push itself that far if it has to.

Anonymous said: One very important point many don't consider about ethical horsemanship is the age at which the horse is broken in. Most breeds aren't done growing until at least four or five, and in the US especially, many, many horses are started out, especially in high impact sports like racing, when they are under two years old and their skeletons aren't in the least bit mature. It's no wonder so many racehorses wind up wrecked. Look at poor Eight Belles. Dressage tends to start much later!

I would say that hose working within animal industries are aware of this, but there is little motivation from the industry itself to change this. A horse is an expensive animal to keep, and years spent doing nothing with it are ‘wasted’.

Dressage may start training horses later, but it’s not free of issues either.

@bettsplendens asked: I have a can of freeze-dried shrimp, meant to be used as fish treats, that one of our cats really likes. I let her have a few of them, there's no other ingredients than some sort of small, freeze-dried river shrimp. Would they be a safe treat for her now and then?

If they’re like brine shrimp they’re probably fine, probably very salty though. They’re be too small for the exoskeleton to get stuck anywhere. My cats like fishfood too.

@rxadkill said: im just wondering what you're opinion on this is, but one of my cats loves to rhythmically bat her paws against the railing of the stairs. we've caught her a few times and she doesnt use her claws at all just the pads of her feet. we say shes "playing the bongos" because of the sound it makes and we were all wondering could she be doing it because she likes the sound? is that even a thing cats do?  question tax thing?: came cause im a prevet major stayed for funny stories and great advice

There is probably something in the activity that she finds novel or interesting, whether it’s a sound or texture. Batting is a normal behavior, she’s just doing it to an odd thing.

@terrychuu said: years ago, when i was still very young, my cat had a very bad case of bladder stones, and both my mom and me failed to notice.. until, eventually, his bladder burst. we took him to the vet, and they said they could only put him down at this point, but to this day i cant help but wonder.. was that really the only option? i mean, if a human bladder were to burst, you dont just "put them down" either.. do you? :/

No you don’t put humans down for a ruptured bladder, but we have ore resources available for humans than we do pets and I don’t know what was available ‘years ago’ in your location.

Bladder rupture is very rare, and while a tear is repairable surgery it’s not a cheap surgery especially if ureters are involved in any way. And the cat still requires lifelong care to manage their predisposition towards developing bladder stones.

More common is a urethral blockage, which can happen very suddenly, ad this can cause serious life threatening complications in a short amount of time.

Anonymous said: Would you say that terrier breeds are a group of dogs that are prone to skin allergies than other grouped breeds?  I'm a vet nurse and while I see allergies in breeds like pointers and sharpeis, the more common groups are terriers of all sorts.  From maltese, WHW, Staffies etc. Could this be put down to genetics of how the breeds came to be through breeding or would you say just purely a dietary reason?

Dietary reasons for allergies are relatively rare, they’re thought to be a component in only about 20% of allergy cases. There is likely to be a genetic component within each breed, but this may well be a different component for each, as many of these breeds don’t share common ancestry. It may also be worsened by increased exposure of allergens to the less hairy skin of their abdomen, which is typically lower to the ground for dogs in this group.

@thehighwayphantom asked: I have a question about Rottweilers. From your experience, have you noticed that they are prone to cancer more than other breeds? I only ask because I have a friend whose 31 and his family have had rotties all his life (five dogs) and three of those have been PTS with cancer/cancer related issues. They swear its the breed but they also own a welding/metal working business and the dogs are allowed in the shed which makes me wonder if its environmental? 

It’s highly likely to be genetic. We don’t see as many environmental causes for cancer identified in dogs and cats because their lives are relatively short compared to ours, they are exposed to these things for a shorter period of time. Different types of cancers are common causes of death for rottweilers.

Anonymous said: Hey Doc, I wanted to say how much I appreciate your breed writeups. Something about the degree to which humans have bred and inbred and specialized dogs (and other "breed"-possessing domestic animals) really unnerves me, and its good to see medical proof, in a way, that the degree of inbreeding is and has been quite harmful to the animals.

I’m glad some people find them useful and don’t take offense because I’m not strongly ‘pro’ enough for their particular breed.

Anonymous said: My lab mix is terrified of thunderstorms and fireworks. Whenever he gets scared we take him into the basement and to the laundry room and turn on the washer and dryer. We lay there with him till it stops. Me and my dad have spent many nights sleeping on the floor with him.  Question tax: came for the vet advice and stayed for the breed analysis and fantasy biology. Love your blog!

If that’s the coping mechanisms your family have developed with your lab to manage his noise phobia, and it’s manageable, then that is one way to help him.

@ surskitty said: I've been harness training my cat, and today she learned grass is fun to chew on.  She also walked on the sidewalk outside my house.  Now she's napping on my lap.

 I’m glad the training’s going well and is enjoyable for you both.

@ipreferpencil said: Thankful for your blog because I have learned that vets don't mind if I call with a concern and that I can question the treatment plan if I think it's not working. My kitty was put on prescription z/d food for protein allergies I guess? I have always thought it seasonal allergies. Anyway, she hates the food, is still itchy, and keeps losing weight (went from 8.5 pounds in March to 6.4 pounds just now) and so I called today and asked the vet to call me back regarding switching her off this food.

If I could get the whole world to learn one thing from this blog, it’s that it’s ok, even encouraged, to call your own vet to ask questions. Thank you. I hope everything goes well for her.

Anonymous said: You're so knowledgeable and responsible. I really enjoy your blog!!!

Thanks. Cheers for the extra exclamation marks!!!

@bobthejob said: I just wanted to say that my dog wont take her carsickness pills unless you make peanut butter toast and then eat a little bit of it yourself and hide the pill casually in another piece out of sight. She thinks shes really getting a big treat bc normally she only gets veggies or sometimes meat off people plates XD

Also youre glorious. I love vets. Yall are like gods/godesses. Youre great and while now i know more bc im a bio student when i was little the vet was basically a sorcerer in my mind. I wanted to be a vet for a long time and then i was like "thats a lot of school and my brain isnt suited to it" but THEN last year i realized that it was the husbandry of animals i really was interested in and i was like oh too bad that isnt a career and THEN i was like wait isnt that just a zookeeper and yeah. Now im going to school and im going to be a zookeeper and im SO PUMPED IM SO READY 

I’m always happy to hear Vetlings are finding their way in life. I wish well to all of you, even if veterinary medicine isn’t where you ultimately end up.

I used to think the vet was magic too when I was little.

Good luck on your zookeeper journey!

[the-goddess-of-change]

Fantasy.

''To imagine me...a normal guy being invited to the kings royal ball...'' its almost not to believe i told to myself as i laid down on my bed and looked at the letter again and read it out to myself ''Dear John, I, King Alexander the third invites you hereby to our royal ball the upcoming friday, we would be delighted to have you come'' Signed King Alexander the third ''i still cannot believe it...'' ''it must be like...they give it out randomly but i feel lucky'' i smiled to myself and put the letter carefully on night table next time and closed my eyes it was Wednesday so only two more days i thought as i drifted into sleep i woke up early the next morning to the sound of my alarm i slowly got out of bed and stretched and pulled up the curtains, a gentle ray of sunshine shone into my bedroom and the white snow almost glittered in the early morning sun i yawned and stretched once again and went on do to my buisness in the bathroom before getting dressed i quickly coked up some food, just easy some easy breakfast, bacon and eggs, why not ? And walked over to the TV and sat down on my chair and started eating Since it was quite early nothing good was really on so i ended up just browsing the channels til i finished up my food today i had a chance to relax, i already had my suit for tomorrow and everything, just need a quick shave before bed tonight and all should be good i thought to myself as i started to clean But i still had to do something to pass the time Being the guy that i was that meant just spending the day on the pc since i had free from work this week i turned on my pc and started to browse around for several hours And so this by went by relatively quickly, i went to bed right after making myself some food and i just couldn't wait for tomorrow! The next day I woke up around mid afternoon after getting a good nights sleep and the first thing i did was to take a long warm shower afterwards i went over to shave, making sure i got everything i went into my bedroom and got the suit out of my dresser and carefully started to put it i tried earlier this week but it still fit to my relief ''okay'' i said to myself in an overly cheery tone as i put on some cologne and checked the time ''17.00...so it starts in two hours'' i said to myself as the doorbell rang ''....'' i thought about saying something as i walked over to the door but kept quiet about it i opened the door and before stood a man in a suit that looked way more expensive than mine ''Ah, you must be John right?'' he asked in an overly posh tone ''Yeah...im John, is something wrong ?'' He gave me a kind smile and told me ''Nothing is wrong John, my name is Damien, i am the kings chauffeur and i am here to pick you up'' ''What ? pick me up ?'' ''Yes King Alexander asked me to pick you up, i know i am a bit early but i usually am'' he smiled at me ''O-okay...so...im going now ?'' i asked kinda hesitantly ''As soon as you are done John we will depart to the castle yes, but please do not hurry like i said, it is still early but you do look ready so far ? and good choice on the cologne'' ''Thanks'' i smiled at him ''let me just get a few things quickly and then i am ready'' ''Of course, and if i could be so rude to ask'' i looked at him ''Yes ? what is it ?'' ''Could i bother you for a glass of water?'' he said feeling a bit ashamed over asking ''oh, yeah, sure of course'' i said and got Damien a glass of water ''Here you go'' ''Thank you'' he said and drank everything in one big gulp and handed the glass back i took the glass and put it back in the kitchen and put on my watch and my cellphone ''okay...i think this is everything, i'm done'' ''Wonderfull, dont forget to lock your house now John'' i laughed and showed him the keys, i locked the door behind me and made sure it was closed as i followed Damien to his car ''Ah, there she is, a real beauty'' he said and walked over to a glossy black limousine who looked like it was newly cleaned ''A limo ?'' ''Well of course, you are going to the king Alexanders Ball, entrance is everything John'' ''Of...Of course, i have just never been in one before'' ''I see'' he said and let out a hearty chuckle ''oh, let me John'' he said and opened the door as i sat down in the back The black leather seats, the minibar in the back and the black windows...it was just like in the movies, it felt...unreal ''okay then'' he said and rolled down the window ''we will be there in ten minutes but please, dont be afraid to take a drink on the way, it helps to calm down a bit'' he said and started to drive i gave him a nod and made sure he saw me as i poured myself a glass of champagne and took a small sip ''oh...this is good!'' i said in surprise i had consumed my fair share of champagne but this was just something else   Damien just smiled and kept his eyes on the road as i saw people staring at me in the streets, or rather, staring at the limo i leaned back and took another sip as we finally reached the castle in the middle of the city, the royal castle...it was built over a thousand year ago but it still looked brand new just the awe and majestic building made me knees feel weak as we drove into the courtyard and Damien stopped the car i finished my drink and took a deep sigh as Damien opened up the car door ''And here we are, i hope the ride was pleasant enough John'' i stepped out of the car and smiled ''it was...unreal to say the least Damien, Thank you'' ''oh, please it is my job John, dont mention it'' he smiled at me ''Oh ? Here already?'' i heard a voice say and i looked around and saw him King Alexander standing by the entrance wearing a suit with medals He had a short black hair and and some beard but he looked...out of this world ''Oh, King Alexander'' he said and bowed for the king ''i brought our guest of honor as you asked'' ''So you did but please Damien, drop the formalities'' ''Y-Yes sir'' he said and relaxed up a bit The king smiled and looked at me ''John it is a pleasure to have you here with us tonight'' he said and walked over to me my mouth felt dry and my knees felt weak as i looked at him walking over to me once he was close i tried reaching out my hand but instead he smiled and gave me a very...fatherly hug almost ''It is a pleasure John!'' he chuckled ''T-Thank you King Alexander'' i managed to say ''please, just call me Alexander, that king stuff tends to get a bit bothersome sometimes'' he smiled ''O-okay'' i said trying to calm myself down ''Say John ? You want the tour before the events start ? the public rarely gets to see everything in the castle and i rarely get to give tours'' ''You-you want me a tour of your home your majesty ?'' ''oh drop it, just call me Alexander and yes of course! i love walking around reminiscing and its nice to have someone along yes ?'' ''I...i suppose so Alexander'' i said a bit hesitant to not call the king by his title ''Good Good, it helps me get ready for these events as well, if i have to be honest, i hate these kinda things but my wife likes it you know'' he chuckled once again and walked inside i followed closely after and looked around the grand hall old paintings covered the walls, a grand chandelier hanged from the ceiling and two sets of stairs on the right and left side of the room lead up to the upper floors ''As you can see, this is the main entrance hall, what do you think ?'' ''its...sorry for saying but its Awesome...'' ''It is Awesome as you say'' he chuckled again ''Well then, shall we start the tour ?'' ''okay then'' i said excitedly ''oh, just one thing wait here one moment'' he said and walked into another room and returned shortly after with two glasses of wine ''Here, doing the tour sober would not be as fun'' he chuckled once again ''He really likes to chuckle'' i thought to myself as we started the tour ''shall we do the upper floors first and move down ?'' ''Sure'' ''Okay, upstairs we have the bedrooms, the bathrooms and guest chambers as well as a few...unorthodox rooms so to say, but let me show you instead of telling you'' I nodded as we took the trip upstairs and king Alexander showed me the rooms, there were as he said, several bed rooms but the rooms that really caught me by surprise we're all the ''relaxation'' rooms as king Alexander called them Rooms filled with paintings, TV's cabinets full of drinks and tables Guess even the king likes to eat in front of the TV He smiled at me '' i think that covers it now'' he said but his face looked a bit...stern ''We got one more room but we never enter there..'' my eyes widened as i looked at him ''Well...As you know John, i have fathered four wonderful sons but i have yet to have a daughter and i feel my time is running out, the last room was meant for the daughter i never had'' I just nodded quickly and took a sip, this conversation just got...awkward But once again king Alexander smiled ''But enough about that! Bah!'' he chuckled as we headed downstairs the main floor was as expected, a large kitchen, dining halls, a living room and a few extra bedrooms and bathrooms for some reason ''Okay John...we got a bit more time than i thought we would so...want to see the basement ?'' ''The...The basement?'' i gulped it was well known the royal basement was just an old dungeon used for the worst of criminals Oubliettes where people were thrown down to die, the previous kings usually would take trips down there and laugh at the prisoners ''it is macabre but...it has history, what do you say ?'' I nodded quickly the public never got a chance to see the dungeons so as scary and hideous as it might be...this was a once in a lifetime opportunity He smiled and walked over to a door in the far edge of the castle and opened it it was large and almost metallic like...it looked very out of place behind the door there were a spiral staircase made out of stone and as we descended the smell hit me it smelt...i couldn't describe it, it was like i was smelling the dead... ''Be careful here John, the stones tend to get a bit slippery'' i nodded and kept close to the king as he took me trough the dungeons Several locked doors where you could only see in from a small hole in the door itself cold black stone...nothing else we walked around for what must have been almost an hour down there while the king kept telling ghastly stories about the past Things i would never imagine, cruelty beyond human compassion for the sake of gain and wealth ''Ah...i think the guests are coming...'' he said and turned and looked at me with a sorrowful gaze ''Do you want to see the final room?'' he asked ''.....'' i said nothing, this just turned...creepy ''its fine, you dont need to say anything'' he said and walked a bit more and got out a pair of old rusted keys and opened a locked door with no hole on it As the door went up it was like a thousand souls screamed out in thanks for being freed from their eternal cell the walls were ice cold and the floor was...red, instead of the usually black stones covering the dungeon i looked around the room and touched the walls as all my fears came to pass i turned around and saw the king standing by the door ready to close it ''W-wait...dont'' i stammered but it was to late, he closed the door and locked ''W-Wait! what is this ?! Hello ?!'' i yelled ''it...it will all make sense soon John'' he said in a cold, almost dead voice ''Wait here for a bit...it will be okay'' he said and i could hear his footsteps fading away as i crunched against the wall ''What....what is going on...is this...real?'' i said looking at my hands i closed my eyes and just wished i could wake up from this nightmare but i know, this wasn't a dream ''this cant be real!'' i yelled out ''Oh....but it is'' i looked around ''What ?! Who said that ?!'' i looked around but saw no one but i heard the door opening i looked over and saw...Damien ?'' ''Sorry for this commotion John'' ''See, when the king asks for something, i answer'' ''What ? what is going on ?'' ''let us just say this John, there is always a price and when She is not available...it falls to me'' ''falls to you ? she...? what is this ?'' He smiled at me as i saw it The horns sticking out from his head and those pure white teeth shining in the dark ''What....are you?'' ''I'm the man who made a dying man's wish come true'' ''But i am just a servant of bigger powers out there, dont ask, i do what i do'' ''You're...the devil ?'' i said feeling totally like and idiot for even asking ''The devil ?'' he laughed ''No no, i am not the devil, although i am...blessed with certain...shall we say devilish abilites ?'' ''........'' i said nothing and just looked at him ''You see John, King Alexander although a proud and noble man, he never got what he wanted'' ''the other kings wished for riches, wealth, power...control'' ''But king Alexander ? No, he believed in humans, he saw them as equals but at the same time he hated them'' ''What ?'' i said standing up and looking at Damien ''well, hate is a strong word but the king already told you, he was never blessed with a daughter, he fathered three sons, well technically four but...sometimes that is the price'' ''i feel sick....what does this have to do with me ?'' ''A simple trade, The king will die tonight, nothing can save that, he is already dead in certain terms'' ''But for his life he wanted a trade, he contacted all he could, finding out as much as possible and managed to dabble into powers beyond his understanding'' ''He summoned...the devil ?'' ''I told you, i am not the devil, but he did manage to get into contact with....someone, someone who sent me to their bidding'' ''So...you're the devils slave...?'' ''Well, slave and slave but yes, i do unwillingly serve someone else...'' ''But this is not about me is it ? you're the one in this position'' ''What ? Why me ?'' ''Easy, you had just enough that people wouldnt care if you vanished'' ''people know but you never made a huge impression on anyone, you dont speak to your parents or family and you're an only child'' ''You're the perfect victim'' ''Victim...?'' ''Well, a life for a life in some ways, the king died for you'' ''What ?....that makes no sense!'' ''right now, no but let me talk'' ''You see, he made a trade with me, he would abandon his own healthy life, albeit the man was rounding his mid sixties's he would have lived well into the hundreds'' ''so to give up his remaining years he wanted to give someone a new life'' ''So i picked you out for that purpose'' ''....what?'' ''The king will die tonight, tomorrow, he will be forgotten, it will be as he has been dead for years but the one thing he did before dying was fathering one daughter'' ''And for that to happen, you will be its vessel'' ''....What ?'' i said feeling almost every bad emotion ever ''You will understand'' he said and slowly walked over to me and grabbed my hand ''Tomorrow you will wake up in a bed not familiar to you, you will still be yourself but your purpose will be new'' ''What you chose to do is up to you but let us say this'' ''My...mistress....sees this as a blessing, why ? i dont know, she has a sick sense of humor, might be her age'' ''mistress ? what ?'' ''Again you ask questions to something i dont have to answers willing to give'' ''John is gone, and tomorrow you will wake up in bed....Princess Aria'' he said as his eyes flashed bright red ''.....But it could be worse, you're alive and you will get almost everything handed to you on a silver plate, not a bad trade right ?'' ''princess ? i dont want...i'm not a girl ?'' ''oh ? that's the problem here ? that's the easy fix John, erasing memories and changing reality ? thats the hard part but dont worry about that you'' ''After all, it wont matter to you in the end'' He laughed a cold  dark laughter and i could feel my whole body getting tired My eyes started to close i couldn't force myself to be awake anymore The last thing i heard before passing out was....someone talking A womans voice ''She is beautiful Dear'' ''She is...our little princess...'' I felt...warmth and i saw a face in the darkness A woman with blonde hair smiling i looked at her and tried reaching out for her as i hit something i woke up and looked around i was...in a room ? i was lying in a large bed with silk blankets covering me ''is this..a dream ?'' i said, still not sure if this was real or not i looked around the room again, there was a window that was covered by curtains, several old...furniture covered the room as well as new modern things, like a TV, pc and...a huge wardrobe ''.....it...'' i sat up in the bed as i felt it i looked down and saw...breasts ''....N-no...'' i gently moved my fingers in front of my face long slender arms with not hair, nails that looked like they were recently trimmed i took a deep breath and gently touched them ''....it...it's real....?'' I sat in the bed for several minutes just trying to get my mind in order and wake up and just find out what was going on before i jumped out of the bed and ran to a mirror in the room i closed my eyes just before reaching it and slowly opened them as my jaw hit the floor looking right back at me...was a girl....she had long blonde hair, gentle glowing skin...no things between her legs ''its...me?'' i said as the girl in the mirror followed my movements ''it is me...'' ''its me?!'' i almost screamed as i ran back to the bed and hid under the blankets ''This is not real, this cant be real! but my voice...my body...it feels real...'' i sat up in the bed again and brushed the hair away from my eyes with my hands ''it is real...'' i said lowly to myself as i heard a knock on the door ''Princess Aria ? Are you awake'' i heard a woman say i didn't know what to say so i just kept quiet but that didn't help much as a woman wearing a maid uniform walked inside ''Still lying in bed ? Come on now princess, you have to get up, you are already late'' She smiled and walked over to me ''Did you have a nice sleep princess ?'' i still said nothing as i looked at the woman standing next to me ''Princess ? Are you okay ?'' ''Y-Yes i am fine'' i stammered She leaned over and put her hand on my forehead ''you dont got a fever...and you look fine, so get up, i have to help you into your clothes'' ''help me into my clothes?'' i said to her ''Of course, today is a big day after all'' ''Why ?'' ''Have you forgotten ? you're turning eighteen today princess'' ''Eighteen...?'' ''im turning eighteen ? i was eighteen....8 years ago'' i thought to myself as i looked at the woman but something...was weird she didn't move her eyes were fixated on me but she just stood there as i heard a familiar voice ''Ahhh, it seems like it worked, you know freezing time is hard'' i looked around the room and spotted Damien standing on the other side of the bed ''You ?! what the hell!?'' ''Really now, that is no way to talk young lady'' ''Young lady...what is going on ?'' ''i told you...'' he sighed ''look let me make it all clear for you right now'' ''You're a princess now, get used to it, its your new life and as for lives ? you shouldn't complain, many girls wish they could be a princess, Hell even some guys do'' ''And yes its permanent, get used to it and dont try to say something stupid, no one else knows the former you, it would be pointless and you would be seen as insane'' ''So get used to it is my best advice, and dont be stupid, you have a maid, you got a nice home, you're a princess'' ''you're still alive, but oh no! you're not a man anymore, your poor poor human'' i looked at Damien...and i had to agree with him on some points... ''Okay...but...i dont want this'' ''To bad, its your life now, get used to it'' ''....Fine! fine! i dont care anymore'' ''That's a start'' ''But i dont know anything!'' ''Oh that ? it will come, lets say your...princess etiquette so to say will come as days pass'' ''What do you mean ?'' ''Well imagine...playing a game you haven't played in a while, you know some parts but have forgotten some as well'' ''Yeah...?'' ''it will slowly come to you as time goes, how to act, talk, behave, and so on'' ''Okay...'' i said feeling...defeated I looked over at the maid frozen in time and sighed as it finally sunk in...this is my new life And as for lives...it could have been far worse...and my old life wasn't that much to talk about ''you finally get it dont you'' he said giving me an honest smile ''...Yes'' i said in a calmer tone ''i knew you would, this is probably the last time we talk so let me give you one final piece of advice'' ''This is your new life, you're a princess, your father, the king, is dead so dont mention him'' ''You're a girl ? so what, 50 percent of all humans are and you're 18, you're in your prime time of life'' ''You ar-...'' i interrupted and looked at him ''I know Damien....i know...i'll...i'll make it work okay ? dont worry about me'' ''Pleasure to hear Princess'' he smiled at me ''Princess...'' ''i guess i could get used to that'' i said and smiled kindly ''You'll do fine, now then, i have to leave and Take care now, Aria'' i wanted to say something back but as soon as he finished, he was gone and time started to flow again ''So lets get dressed shall we princess ?'' ''Yes..sorry'' i slowly got out of the bed with only my panties on but the maid didn't seem to mind to much as i walked over to the mirror ''Okay then, do you prefer the white gown or the black one ?'' i looked over at the gowns ''....The white one'' i said feeling a bit hesitant but something else was rising inside me, a feeling of excitement ''Great, i do the same'' she smiled and brought it out as well as some lingerie ''please change'' she said and handed me the lingerie and turned around i removed my panties and looked down Nothing down there as i knew...and slid the white panties up my legs Then there was the bra... i tried to take on and failed a few times before finally getting it on ''it feels a bit tight but...'' ''oh, dont worry princess, it will get better during the day, its brand new you know'' I nodded slowly as i stepped into the dress and slid up as the maid pulled up the zipper on my back ''You look beautiful Princess Aria'' she smiled at me as i looked at myself in the mirror Beautiful was an understatement, i looked like a goddess... ''okay and now onto your hair can you sit down ?'' she said pointing at a chair in front of a vanity table i nodded slowly and walked over as she began to brush and straightening my hair then curling it ''And lastly this little thing'' she said and put a some kinda silver hair piece on my hair ''All done'' she smiled ''Y-yeah....it looks amazing'' i blushed looking at myself ''oh and i almost forgot, my deepest apologies Princess Aria'' she said and walked over to the wardrobe and got out a pair of white high heels with gold laces rims ''please put them on'' she smiled and put the shoes on the floor next to me i gulped a bit, high heels ? could i even walk in those without looking like i had never done it before ? i slowly put on the shoes and stood up it did feel a bit strange but...i just had to get used to it i slowly walked around to get a feel of it ''Glamorous princess Aria'' the maid smiled at me i look over at her try to curtsy ''oh'' she blushes and does the same back ''Okay...okay, so...what happens today ?'' ''i think your mother is waiting for you downstairs my princess, i shall let her know you are coming'' she smiles and walks away i look around, finally alone ''...All in all...this is not too bad...i mean...i feel pretty good, i look healthy...'' i just shrug and walk over to the door and open it i am in the hallway i remember it from my tour the other day with the king i walk over to the stairs leading down to the main floor but as i reach the last step i look over and see a woman clad in a very elegant gown looking at me ''you look amazing sweetie!'' she smiles at me just by looking at her i know its the queen or rather, my mom ''Thanks mom'' i walk over and hug her she smiles kindly back to me ''to think my daughter has turned 18...i remember the day you were born dear, your father would have been so proud'' she said as a single tear rolls down her cheek i nod slowly and smile at her ''thanks mom...i...im sure dad would'' she nods and holds my hand as she leads to me to the living room where a photographer is standing ''what is this mom ?'' i ask ''since you're turning 18 dear i figured it would be nice to take some pictures to remember the day'' The photographer turns around and smiles at us ''Hello Princess Aria, my name is Derek, i'm here to take your pictures'' i nod at him ''if you wouldn't mind, can you sit down on the white chair over there ?'' i slowly walk over to the chair and sit down, i rest my hand on the chair and the other hand on my dress as the Derek starts taking the pictures of me i look over at my mom as she just stands there and smiles at me ''18...im a princess...and im 18'' i think to myself as i keep posing ''i...i dont know what life holds for me but...i got this chance to make the best of it, and i will do my best to make sure it's a good and long life'' i just keep thinking I sigh as i smile to my mom as i keep sitting on the chair being taken pictures of ''I'm a princess....Princess Aria...'' i close my eyes as i embrace the future of my life fully and as i do, i feel a slight..tingling sensation inside me, i feel...complete.

[survivorwakea]

Episode 9: “Anabel back on her crackhead bullshit.” -Asya

Justin going out after getting a self-vote. Don't trust anyone, not even yourself.

________________________________________________________________

ZACK FOUND THE FUCKING IDOL. ZACK FOUND THE FUCKING IDOL. ZACK FOUND THE FUCKING IDOL.

Me, Ben, Elmo and Zack were on a call and we all did an idol search and ZACK FOUND IT AND I SCREAMED AND ITS 3AM BUT I DONT CARE ZACK HAS A MOTHERFUCKING IDOL.

________________________________________________________________

Oh sweet fucking jesus.

So I get off call with Elmo, Ben and Zack and Zack is like hieee can we call? and im like okay? I have absolutely no idea what to expect at all. He's like I have something to tell u, at this point I'm like fuck this sounds like bad bad news or good news but idk if im mentally stable enough to handle either. He tells me he has the fucking premerge idol and that he got it on his first run. I'm sat there basically starting to cry like oh my god zack I cannot believe this right now. and he's like no there's more. My stomach fucking drops. He tells me Elmo knows as well. I'm like ok sis what the fuck. He had to tell Elmo because it was his first go and him and Elmo were sharing guesses. Okay I guess I understand. But he also said something like Elmo said not to tell me. Which really does have me thinking. I thought me and Elmo had a lot more open communication now, and the fact he didn't want to tell me something like this is a reason as to why I have been hesitant to talk game with him. But according to Zack he also said he doesn't think I would leak so maybe he was just thinking about not wanting too many people to know. I need to have a chat with Elmo tomorrow so we can clear some stuff up so I can know better where I stand, or just have Elmo lie to my face which I end up finding out later down the line when he inevitably tries to vote me out again. But oh how ironic it would be if I could convince Zack to use the idol on me to get Elmo out. Please note ~ I don't dislike Elmo, in fact I adore him. I just see me and him as very similar players and therefore I feel he would be one of my main competitions especially as this game gets further on. I just have a lot of feelings and a lot of things to discuss right now

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I've had so much to think about the last couple hours my mind is spinning. Justin voted out because of his own dumbass move to tell Johnny about his self-vote, like that's not a death wish waiting to happen. Hell I would've been on board with voting Justin had I known. He was a clear threat but I was planning on waiting 1 more tribal before trying to get him out. I was lied to by a lot of people, maybe 2 tribals in a row now which leaves me shaking and scrambling. Where the fuck do I stand with any of these people? Zack who I adore with all my heart where do I stand with you baby? I know you said you would use your idols on me and help get us both to the final. But I am scared, I am so so scared you could be lying to me. You said it yourself earlier you are so used to lying to people in this game that if someone asked if your name was Zack, you'd tell them it wasn't. I think it would hurt me more if you told me about your premerge idol and said you'd get us both to the end and then voted me out more than if you never told me anything at all. Did you tell me this because you're worried about your position or because you genuinely meant it? Remember I could be on the jury. Asya, my sweetness in this game. We didn't talk for a full day after Joey got voted out. It was only when I decided to own up to the fact I wrote her name down tonight that we opened a discussion and I feel we cleared the air a bit, both of us felt we had no choice when writing down each other's names. I hope things improve between us and we can work together again, however you have appeared to be inactive which kind of scares me. Johnny having kept the vote of Justin from me after I told him I felt I wasn't being listened to with the people I was aligned with has kinda rubbed me the wrong way since I very heavily hinted I wanted Justin out, but you can't be sayin those kinda things to people you're aligned with cause they could so easily turn on you. Although I had mentioned it to Zack and I think Zack would've been down as well so that was my plan for a couple tribals ahead. Do you really want to work with me or has this all been lies? Ben I do not trust as far as I can throw him right now. After Zack gets the idol he conveniently says he forgot to mention that he landed on one of the bonus spots on the way to the idol and got an extra vote. Okay bitch boy how the fuck does that just accidentally slip your mind? Do not trust one bit right now, once he realises he's on the bottom he's definitely gonna flee like fuck. Has a soothing voice though, I enjoy being on call. He's kinda funny, even if he does make Zack mad by the fact he's getting comfortable with us and calling us bitches. Bodhi is just a lying fucker and I want him out ASAP, he should've been the person we got out or at least tried to instead of Asya but whatever, there's always next time. Lily I have no idea what the fuck is going on in her head right now, she messaged me with some half hearted apology and then wants to create a group of people to work together but when I asked who she wanted to involve she has just ignored me, whatever your time will be up soon enough unless I try to drag u to the end with me so I have a goat since I haven't seen u do much other than win like 1 immunity challenge. Jared I wanna work with but idk how much trust is there, plus he's a strong player and I feel could do well so I want him out kinda soon oopsie. But who knows, if we start working together maybe it's something that could work out for us. Sometimes competition is good. Anabel a cutie but also a massive liability, never know what's going on with her and where she truly stands with anyone. I wish she would just be properly up front with me about who she's close with. Wish she spoke more game to me than she actually does. Elmo I've already wrote down a lot about how I feel about you but ya I love u so much I just think you're such a threat to me and there could be a vote where if it's not you that goes home it will be me. Also where the fuck do I stand with you? Are you being open with me? It'd crush me if you weren't I've been trying this game with you I really have. This is long and turned into something I didn't expect it to be and its like 5am so I need sleep. So much has gone on and I've so much to think about I don't even know where to turn right now.

i manifested that, right.. like.. i literally JUST said in my last confessional how me and chloe eventually wanted justin out and then it happened.. now, it didn't go how i would have wanted it to go, but it still went.. would i have loved to be part of that plan? duh. but i think justin leaving might be a blessing in disguise. or a huge curse. i guess we'll have to wait and see. all i have to say is this.. justin did that to his damn self. how stupid of him to tell johnny about the alliance we're in and the fact that he has a vote against him that round.. like WHAT is wrong with him.. all he had to do was keep his mouth shut and he would have been here kJGDSKS... and the fact that he literally told johnny EVERYTHING like what the fuck is wrong with you justin.. so stupid on your part and im so fucking pissed bc it fucks with my game. now.. some bigger news.. i found the merge idol?? KLHDFKLJSDKFGJL.... now i have two fucking idol. i can't believe IT. manifestation really does work. so ben, elmo and chloe all know about the merge idol because we all been helping each other find it.. and i told chloe i have the pre merge idol today. i told her elmo knows and that elmo didn't want me to tell her. i'm doing what i have to do in order to secure me spots more weeks into this game. but now this round is a speed round and i work 12-7 tomorrow so i'm gonna get no social game in really... this sucks and i just have to pray and hope they don't target me this round because i don't wanna have to use any idols yet. i really just wish this round wasn't sped up because it's really fucking with me and i hate the fact

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sorry i pressed enter before.. i hate the fact that i know i'm not gonna really be able to talk to people this round bc of work so i have to trust my allies will do everything correctly.. unlike how justin did anything he did.

Zack found the idol and I told our alliance about the extra vote. I am ride or die with Anabel's Angels at this point

Ignore everything I said in that last confessional. I don’t know what I’m doing. Getting Justin out was essential to moving those who I know I can trust to work with further in the game. Finally in an alliance with Jared and Johnny. I feel really solid about that. I’m continuing to not tell Elmo anything but still wanting to work with him so that’s a mood. But it sounds like my alliance along with Bodhi asya and anabel should be able to come together again and vote. But let’s find out cause I sure don’t know. Also Justin danggggg you were really coming out the gate. We gotcha but really respect how you make moves.

wow,,, speed round,,, crazy stuff miss aj,,, lol im so stressed ab this i literally dont know what im doing. jared wants to vote out ben and honestly i kinda do too, and i would w/o hesitation if it wasnt for zack elmo and chloe. i told them my voting justin out and lying to them was a one time thing and i like desperately wanna hold true to that, but jared brings up some INCREDIBLE points. i wanna tell them i wanna vote ben but ik they wouldnt react very well.. i just feel like voting him is best for my game bc like hes potentially the person whos playing the very best and im terrified of that bc i wanna win!!!! not him!!!!! it is just. hard. ill get back to u later prolly thank u for listening :)

so..... i lived

my heart was literally POUNDING during that tribal like i was fully prepared to drag anabel and johnny out behind me by their noses but ! i stayed ! sucks it had to be me or justin but according to chloe he may or may not have REALLY hardcore been pushing for me to go so.... the superior hawks stan won ig

oh yeah i talked to chloe. i’ve been putting it off but she messaged me and it wasn’t as bad as i thought bc as far as i’m concerned we’re even now. i want to really try to be a good ally to her. i know i have my alliance of 5 (6? are we counting lily in the alliance? she’s not physically in the chat but she’s been more of an ally to me than anabel so,) but i’m not stupid enough to think that those are gonna be the last people standing at the end. there’s always room for error. so i’m gonna do my best to work on my individual connections this round. it’s rough when these people literally just tried to send me home but we try anyways.

now. today’s issue. i literally want anabel gone So Bad. but johnny. he thinks that he has her on lock but like. if that was the case then the joey thing wouldn’t have happened (or maybe it wouldn’t have happened if the dumbass men listened to opinions other than their own but w/e). like she’s playing the game and doing it well. we’ve had two merge votes, both split down the middle almost. anabel is the ONLY person to vote on the right side both times. that doesn’t work for me. i don’t think she’s like actively targeting me because as far as i know, the facebook people kept justin’s self vote a secret from her? which means she might not have known we had the majority anyways 6-5 and she just voted him because she didn’t want me to go. and that’s all well and good, but i definitely see her being a problem for me in the later game. so. something to think about

Trust List 3.0:

1. Asya 2. Bodhi 3. Lily 4. Johnny 5. Chloe 6. Elmo 7. Zack 8. Anabel 9. Ben

anabel back on her crackhead bullshit. all i’ve said is that i won’t vote chloe because i gave my word and now suddenly she wants to vote chloe because johnny doesn’t want zack to go for some reason and his ass was out all day so basically he comes home two hours before the vote and starts changing shit up. i’m LIVID

https://soundcloud.com/bodhi-small/week-8/s-SjYaD

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Ben is voted out in a 5-4-2 vote. He becomes the third member of our jury.

[omegacunt-blog]

my view of time with the love of my life.

im sad i hate my home im moving to christchurch i know it will hurt my girl but its best for me and we have been distant already as it is "babe we need to talk" yes we do im leaving you and moving to christchurch im sorry but its best for me right now "i cheated on you when do you want your things" i knew then that i wasnt going to love again fuck that i packed my shit only 1 bag and got the next flight to christchurch i met my father at the airport and went back to his place we got a pack of smokes and went for a walk into the cbd because i told him i like walking we walked for hours talking about how we have been and what we do for fun we get to a giant arch thing and he see's one of his friends so i sit down and start scrolling instagram i was posting angry shit about my ex cheating on me blah blah and i figured i need new friends so i start following people and i come across this one page of this chick with red hair "wow she is really hot no way id have a chance with her ill try it anyway" we ended up going home and i stalked her instagram all night because i couldnt sleep she was really cute holy hell 3 days past and i was talking to the girls i had things with and i started to feel un satisfyed i got nudes every day from like 6 people how could i not be satisfyed i finally get some balls and message her but what do i say i said the most amazingly horrible opener "do you like memes" oh god ive fucked it im really weird somehow it worked we are talking now i dont remember what we said exactly but all i remember is getting her number right away and telling her we are in an extremely open no ties relationship which somehow worked it was really weird we started talking about neither of us ever liking each other we talked about how much we liked drinking we talked about our music i loved talking to her i soon found myself spending all day and night talking to her and thinking about her and finding myself at burgerking using the wifi just so i could keep talking to her i drank alot and i eventually ended up cutting my girls off without knowing i cant say i missed them because it would be a lie she was all i thought about it soon came time to meet her and i remember drinking a whole bottle of jagermeister and smoking a bit to get some confidence wow she is beautiful in person i wanna get close to her i want to talk to her all night i tried showing off to impress her like a 9 year old kid with a crush im writing this now with that same crush we were walking back to her house and i was still showing off i ended up getting arrested so i fucked with the cops for a bit before i got put in cuffs and taken home i put my foot out the car door and they both spent 20 minutes trying to put it in the car i almost told them i was carrying a knife i talked about her the whole way home and as soon as i got home i walked an hour to her house where she made me sit on the lawn because she didnt trust me it was okay i was fine with just being there she came and sat next to me and she asked me if i liked being scratched and she started scratching my left arm it kinda hurt but i liked it because she was doing it **it also why i burn the skin off my left arm** her friend started running around with a shopping cart and she kissed me on the cheek it was the first time ive been kissed on the cheek and it felt amazing i dont know why i just stared at her and said "oh" i was speechless and then we went inside and sat for a couple hours before i left and she told me to hug her so i did and i left feeling extremely happy i walked an hour in the wrong direction and then eventually got home i fell asleep right away thinking about her we continued to hang out for another 2 weeks and then she came around to my place and we drank and smoked cigarettes with her friend zion and we ended up cuddling for a couple hours before she left i hated it when she left 3 days later i watched her be with another guy it ripped me apart everytime i seen them kiss i hated the fact that she even sat close to him i was extremely jealous i think its easy to say jealousy is my biggest weakness it eats me alive its caused many of my scars and its the reason behind my anxiety and trust issues that day was the day we started going down hill i told her i loved her and i had feelings for her and she returned them i asked her out and she turned me down it really hurt and it took her 2 days for an explanation "i want to be with you and i will soon i promise just wait" and thats what i did i waited and watched her be with another it really hurt me that she could say all these things to me and then turn around and do things with another guy it should be me if she doesnt like him why is she doing this with him and not me i want it i deserve it she ends up getting high and she turned into a different person she told me to come see her so i walked an hour and a half and all i got when i got there was "dude just leave me alone im to high for this i dont want to see you" i told her i was done i cant love her if she doesnt love me oh but she says she does but where is the actual love? i dont feel it all i feel is disgust **thats why i dont like her smoking weed** i walked an hour and a half home after not seeing her and being told to leave her alone i was angry so i shut myself off for 2 days and when i finally texted her back i went over to her house i didnt know that would be the last time id see her she was upset and she sat on her chair in silence so i sat on the floor and we were silent for a while before she came and hugged me i hate myself for not hugging her back she was hurt and i knew it but all i could think about was how angry what she said made me i was closed off we said nothing the whole time untill i got uo and said goodbye and jumped out her window i didnt even look at her as i left i hated it after that day everything is black all i did was drink my pain away eventually she decided it was time to cut me off "its best for you" she said i felt hurt i felt betrayed i was angry not at her but at myself if i had of done things differently it wouldve been better we wouldve worked i tried for weeks to get her back but failed every time i ended up having drinks with her friend i met at sparks in the park which was another time that i hated but loved i was with her i loved it but she kissed a guy infront of me i hated that **i didnt know he was gay at the time** and she ignored me most of the night unless she wanted me to stand behind her so she felt hidden and then she ditched me anyway back to the drinks i remember aysia telling me to invite pagan and i didnt have the courage to tell aysia i ruined everything with her so i just said "nah she is probably busy she wont wanna come here" from then onwards for the next 3 months was also black it was a spiral of alcohol and bad decisions my life was fucked up and all i wanted was for her to text me saying she still loved me i moved into a new house in pegasus and i noticed she unblocked me i messaged her and she said "leave me alone i dont want to talk to you im tryna hold it down for a nigga" and then she blocked me that really fucking hurt i started burning myself for the first time and drank every day there was alot of parties i had alot of alcohol drank but not once was i able to move on or forget about her i got home from driving one night and i had a text from her i nearly died from excitement she is finally back my life is finally happy again "well heres hoping we never meet huh? -your not so friendly demon (aka the guy who doesnt think with his dick and is with pagan and wants to make you choke on your teeth" that was the most painful text i ever got in my life not only did i get proof she had moved on but he wanted to hurt me for some reason did she say i hurt her? did she talk shit about me? i hated it i blocked her number and punched a hole in my wall the drinking continued the pain got worse untill months later she messaged me on instagram apologising for everything i was hesitant to let her back into my life i had to think about it she broke me many times already am i willing to go through everything again i never stopped loving her we talked about how our lives were things were good it took 1 hour for me to get hurt again when i found out she was still with **my not so friendly demon** i hated that and i hated seeing photos of them together and him talking shit to me and seeing them love each other and hearing her talking about doing things to him i was jealous notice a patern? something happened and she left him and i asked her out she was finally going to be mine she said yes im so happy everything is amazing this is why i love her i love her for the good times and i still love her through the bad i remember sharing a tiny bed i hated it i was embarrassed but she put up with it for me i remember first having sex with her ill never forget how uncomfortable it made her she hated sex but she tried it with me the first 2 times we had sex i didnt cum but i made sure she did i didnt care if i got no pleasure as long as she did i was happy i loved cuddling with her drinking with her smoking with her i loved listening to music with her talking to her everything she loved my niece and that meant alot to me ive never been happier in my life and she gave that to me i cant thank her enough i remember how it felt to cuddle her how it felt when we had sex it was amazing she was the best fuck ive ever had and i couldnt get enough i wouldnt to fuck her all the time i wanted to cuddle constantly i wanted to see her laugh every day i wanted to listen to her talk for hours i never wanted anything to end but it had to a piece of me died everytime she left my house i remember our first argument it was about me talking about the past i miss everything the kisses hugs sex the cuddling the waking up in the morning and seeing her face and hearing her say i love you as the first thing we went for a walk one day to the beach after having sex and we just walked and held hands for hours untill we went home that was my happiest day on earth and id rather keep the things about that day to myself for a future story im not going to go into detail about our final days but we eventually ended it i cried for hours i hated myself how could i do that to her why did i do that to her she came around one last time and i wanted to break down and cry and beg for her back but i had to pretend to be strong we shared a cigarette she cried we hugged kissed and she left the final goodbye will replay in my head forever i cried and yelled for 2 days straight and i found out that she had already moved on it felt like she had ripped my heart from my chest and stomped on it spat on it and burnt it im sure she fucking hated me she fucked another guy so soon i fucking hated it i burnt every inch of my arm i even tried cutting myself but burns hurt more she likes this guy and its just lhbarflerbkjbSFEkSJ fuck this fuck everything i cant fucking finish this anyway this is the fucking story about me and the love of my life the one and only girl of my dreams the girl who i still to this second love with all i have left of my heart through thick and thin good and bad i still love you forever and always will -shane xx