#im just tired i haven’t been working with wildlife for a year and am going to study wildlife and work with them for the rest of my life for

[iliveinprocrasti-nationn]

i’m so frustrated with people’s lack of common sense about wildlife. if you’re interacting with wildlife, you’re not having your disney princess moment. you’re not forming a magical bond. that’s a wild animal who is potentially terrified; maybe it’s curious if it’s young enough, but that just means you should minimise interactions as much as possible to make sure that animal lives a normal life. if your kid comes in holding a wild animal, don’t pick up your fucking phone to videotape it. bring the animal back outside and educate your kid to leave animals alone. you know what happens when you take in wildlife as a “pet”? either you keep it and do damage because even though it’s “tame” it’s a wild animal who is in no way meant to live in that setting unless it’s being kept by a trained and licensed rehabber who knows the housing and feeding requirements (and even then i’ve seen some who are keeping animals irresponsibility), or it ends up at a wildlife rehab when you inevitably harm it enough that you don’t know what to do, or when no vets see you, or when the animal becomes too aggressive for you to handle. and then we either figure out how to rehabilitate an animal whose temperament and/or body you have massively damaged or we euthanise it because the damage is too extensive. start treating wildlife like wild animals rather than a dog or cat. they’re not pets, they’re not domesticated, leave them alone and let them live happy lives as they’re supposed to.

[sharkeysnight]

i was tagged by @music-on-canvas and @starryblue04 (ty guys!!) to do these 20 questions and then tag some people i want to get to know better!!! under the cut:

Rules: Answer these 20 questions and then tag 21 people you want to get to know better...

Nickname: katy is actually a nickname! my actual first name is kate

Zodiac Sign: virgo

Height: 5′2 and a bit

Last movie I watched: uhhh i think it was monkees head

Last thing I googled: this semester’s schedule for the buses at my school

Favourite musician: queen, punch brothers, and the used are traditionally tied for my favorite band. but also peter gabriel, laurie anderson, duran duran, 80s king crimson, yes band, talking heads, fall out boy, etc etc etc

Song stuck in my head: nothing but i’m currently listening to gravity’s angel by laurie anderson

Other blogs: @myantarctica is my sparsely used nature aesthetic blog

Blogs following: god. a lot. think thousands lmao. ive had this blog for almost 10 years and followed SO many people back in the day and haven’t had the patience to go back and weed out the many who are inactive

Amount of sleep: varies WILDLY between like 4 and 12 hrs lmao. when the semester starts it’ll level out again

Lucky number: 144 my beloved. i also really like 11!

What I am wearing: tired old shirt w the cover of innuendo by queen on it, its been downgraded to a house shirt bc its full of holes lmao.

Dream job: wildlife biologist

Dream Trip: ive kind of always wanted to go on one of those vacations where you stay at a ranch and do a bunch of trail riding. maybe learn to work some cows or something. idk i just wanna ride all day and maybe have some good canters through pretty fields

Favourite food: idk. i like watermelon. french fries. broccoli. apples. oh i REALLY like beignets & i had some really good ones recently

Play an instrument: bass guitar & guitar.

Languages: only english, sadly. and, to be fair, a very small amount of french left over from taking it in middle & high school

Favourite songs: supper’s ready by genesis, familiarity by punch brothers, let it bleed by the used, the sheltering sky by king crimson, part ii by paramore, the family and the fishing net by peter gabriel. also headfirst slide into cooperstown on a bad bet by fall out boy, if i’m being really honest with myself.

Random fact: i love stuffed animals soooooo much. ive got a bunch and theyre all loved dearly but the one ive had for the longest is named genevieve. shes a little brown dog ive had her since i was 4 i named her after the dog in madeline 

Describe yourself in aesthetic things: bright sunshiney yellow. daisies and apples. tiny little yellow songbirds. meadows filled with flowers. dusty old record shops. stars peeking out from in between buildings at 3am

im not tagging 21 people lmao but i will tag @funkycrabhands @betweentimeand42 @longtimelie if yall feel like it and also anyone else that got this far and wants to!

[laracroftsleatherjacket]

Flower Asks: all of them >:3€ (forgive me)

(this is so many omg but I’ll allow it only bc i love u)

Alisons: Sexuality? 

     Gay af (ace lesbean)

Amaranth: Pronouns/Gender?

     Waman (she/they)

Amaryllis: Birthday?

     November 2nd

Anemone: Favorite flower?

     Funnily enough anemones are one of my favs but i think my top favs are chrysanthemums and morning glories but I really love many flowers and flowers in general

Angelonia: Favorite t.v. show?

     As of right now, stranger things duh

Arum-Lily: What’s the farthest you’d go for a stranger?

     Like favors or? I mean I really do try to be a kind and helpful person but if I don’t know somebody or haven’t at least seen them a couple times before I usually don’t do much bc of anxiety 

Aster: What’s one of your favorite quotes?

     "The extraordinary is in what we do, not who we are.” Lara Croft mostly bc I cant think of anything else right now and that stuck with me

Aubrieta: Favorite drink?

     Like a really good cup of black tea with cream and sugar or sweet tea

Baby’s Breath: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

     Never been kissed before but I definitely have someone in mind I would kiss ;3

Balsam Fir: Have you ever been in love?

     Hell yeah I am right now and I don’t think I ever have been before now

Baneberries: Favorite song?

     Oh hard question... currently really digging We Fell In Love in October by Girl in Red 

Basket of Gold: Describe your family.

     My family is supportive (for the most part) and very loving, even if they express love in weird ways sometimes. We also like to joke around a lot and make fun of each other but in a good way? Like we all have a good time mostly and I get along better with everyone since I started college

Beebalm: Do you have a best friend? Who is it?

     My girlfriend is my best friend uwu I also have a lot of good friends but yeah

Begonia: Favorite color?

     Purble but specifically like a pastel purple and purples that lean more towards blue than pink

Bellflower: Favorite animal?

     Lynx! I love so many animals tho and I also like many cats and domestic cats in general

Bergenia: Are you a morning or night person?

     Night!

Black-Eyed Susan: If you could be any animal for a day, what would it be?

     Probably would love to just be a loved house cat who gets to lay in front of the fire all day or a lynx bc i love them

Bloodroots: When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?

     A veterinarian (or a special agent lmao)! I also still plan on being a vet tho even tho I get discouraged at least once a month 

Bluemink: What are your thoughts on children?

     I mean I like kids and I was a camp counselor for a summer, but I dont really want any of my own

Blazing Stars: What are you afraid of? Is there a reason why?

     Oh god so many things.. Biggest thing would maybe be death/dying? Like if i think about it too much like the possibility of there just being nothing after death freaks me out. That and throwing up/nausea 

Borage: Give a random fact about your childhood.

     I played soccer and then I was a competitive swimmer so i was kind of an athlete? even tho i hated sports

Bugleherb: How would you spend your last day on Earth?  

     I think I would like to go to waffle house, have the perfect cup of tea, spend lots of time with my loved ones and pet my kitties, play video games with my gf, and sit under a tree in the mountains preferably on a warmer day in the fall and watch the sunset 

Buttercup: Relationship Status?

     Very happily taken

Camelia: If you could visit anywhere, where would you want to go?

     Always wanted to visit Norway

Candytufts: When do you feel most loved?

      Really big long hugs, good morning or goodnight messages, and I also really love cards 

Canna: Do you have any tattoos?  

     I have 6 

Canterbury Bells: Do you have any piercings?

     Yup! I have an industrial, orbital, and 3 earlobe piercings   

California Poppy: Height?  

     5′2 or maybe a little less

Cardinal Flower: Do you believe in ghosts?

     Yeah I think so, but I do also get freaked out easily lmao

Carnation: What are you currently wearing? 

     Red flannel, jeans, fuzzy socks, and big dyke boots  

Catnip: Have you ever slept with a nightlight?

     Yeah I did for a long time and I still sometimes sleep with one or like a bathroom light on if Im sleeping by myself in a new place

Chives: Who was the last person you hugged?  

     Either my mom or my dad I dont remember technically who was last bc my parents are visiting me at college

Chrysanthemum: Who’s the last person you kissed?

     Again, never kissed or been kissed! but maybe soon... :0

Cock’s Comb: Favorite font?

     Font? I like the font in Night in the Woods?

Columbine: Are you tired?

     Pretty much always either sleepy or tired lol

Common Boneset: What are you looking forward to?

     Christmas, getting to see my gf again, and Magfest!

Coneflower: Dream job?

     Like a veterinarian but having my own practice and also being able to take in injured wildlife if possible

Crane’s-Bill: Introvert or extrovert?

     Introvert for sure

Crocus: Have you ever been in love?

     Oh repeat question, hell yes

Crown Imperial: What’s the farthest you would go for someone you care about?

     Depends what it is but I would go pretty far for somebody I care about and Im also a crazy person and would drive/travel no matter what distance for someone I love

Cyclamen: Did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a child? What was it?

     Yup! I had a ballerina bunny, named Bunny because I was very creative and I still have her

Daffodil: What’s your zodiac sign?

     Scorpio

Dahlia: Have you done anything worth remembering?

     I think so? I did a lot of cool stuff with my GS troop like our bronze award project and going ziplining and to sliding rock. 

Daisy: What do you feel is your greatest accomplishment?

     My GS gold award for sure, that shit was hard work and stressful af

Daylily: What would you do if your parents didn’t like your partner(s)?  

     Umm??? I would tell my dad to eat shit and die and I cant imagine my mom being anything but sweet and supportive so I dont even know

Dendrobium: Who is the last person that you said “I love you” to?

     You! This morning uwu

False Goat’s Beard: What is something you are good at?

     uhh Im pretty good at making sense of stuff in my science labs and reasoning and im sometimes good at art? I feel like I do traditional better but Im getting better at digital

Foxgloves: What’s something you’re bad at?

     bad at not being impulsive sometimes and bad at dead by daylight 

Freesia: What are three good things that have happened in the past month?

     a little over a month but officially got a girlfriend who i love very much, my gf came down to visit and we got to chill on the mountains together, and I had a pretty nice birthday 

Garden Cosmos: How was your day today?

     Good! Got breakfast at a diner with my parents and got coffee and a donut at my fav coffee shop so thats all i really need in life tbh 

Gardenia: Are you happy with where you’re at in your life?

     Yeah Im happy even tho Im stressed with school at times 

Gladiolus: What is something you hope to do in the next year or two?

     Get a job after graduation and hopefully get into vet school on the first or second try

Glory-of-the-Snow: What are ten things that make you happy/you’re grateful to have in your life?

     My kitty, mom, wonderful gf, sister, dead by daylight, heated blanket, apartment, waffle house, my sisters kitty, and my dog

Heliotropium: What helps you calm down when you feel stressed?  

     Donuts, coffee or tea, blankets, video games, and loud music

Hellebore: How do you show affection?

     Hmm... I really like to draw art for those i love, tell them how much i love them even though i can be bad with words, and i just try to spend a lot of time with the people I care about no matter what we are doing

Hoary Stock: What are you proudest of?

     uhhh trying to open up more? and Im really proud of my gf 

Hollyhock: Describe your ideal day.

     Going to waffle house. Go to a mountain and hike a little, sit on the top with girlfriend. Admire beauty of mountain countryside. Admire beauty of girlfriend while they admire the beauty of the mountain. Then warm up together with hot chocolate and play video games

Hyacinth: What do you like to do in your free time?  

     I like to doodle and do the arts, play video games, and I like to bake sometimes

Hydrangea: How long have you known your best friend? How did you meet them?

     uuuuuuh I have a good friend I’ve known since kindergarten or first grade when I first moved to where I currently live

Irises: Who can you talk to about (almost) everything?

     My gf uwu and my mem

Laceleaf: How many friends do you have?

     probably like less than 10 

Lantanas: What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?

     I think its really cute especially when you compliment my laugh

Larkspur: What do you think of yourself?

     ??? I think I am an okay person? And I try to be a good person and be kind and polite to people

Lavender: What’s your favorite thing about yourself?

     Umm... I mean I like that Im kind? and Im not fake and I try to be a good person     

Leather Flower: What’s your least favorite thing about yourself?  

      I hate that I procrastinate and that I can get frustrated easily at myself and at situations like crowds and traffic

Lilac: What’s something you liked to do as a child?

     I liked to play ‘restaurant’ with my sister with our littlest pet shops

Lily: Who was your best friend when you were a kid?

     I had a really great best friend named Rachel :c

Lily of the Incas: What is something you still feel guilty for?

     Losing a lot of friends and for being distant for a long time 

Lily of the Nile: What is something you feel guilty for that you shouldn’t feel guilty about?  

     Cutting off a friend that was bad for my mental health and who didnt treat me well even though we were best friends for a long time 

Lupine: What does your name mean? Why is that your name?

     My name is literally my parents ship name... like they even told me they chose my name by putting their names together lmao but I mean I like my name so i guess its okay..

Marigold: Where did you grow up? Tell us about it.

     Small town in new jersey when I was really, it was nice and family was closer. Then we moved and that was difficult but I ended up adjusting and it was good, had a decent amount of friends and the schools i went to were good

Morning Glory: What was your bedroom like growing up?

     For a long time I shared a room with my sister and we had a bunkbed and I had the top bunk of course, when we moved out of the apartment and into a house I got my own room and it was baby blue only because I told my dad that no, I didnt want a fuckin pink room and that was a whole thing lmao

Mugworts: What was it like for you as a teenager? Did you enjoy your teenage years?  

    It was good? but also sucked a lot. I had a lot of issues with my mental health and struggled for a long while with something. I was bullied and stuff at home wasnt always that great. And i got outed so that was fun. Other than that I enjoyed swimming competitively and I got into art

Norwegian Angelica: Tell us about your mom.

I love my mom!! she is the most Mom mom and is so sweet and always there for me. She helps me out so much with so many things and I just love my mom so much

Onions: Tell about your dad.  

     I mean I love my dad? And hes better than he used to be, but he still doesnt help with shit and irritates me a lot. 

Orchid: Tell about your grandparents.

     I never got to know my grandfather on my moms side bc he passed away a few months before i was born and I sort of knew my grandmother but she lived far away and passed away 10 years ago. I usually see my gramma on my dads side the most and I try to visit often and help her out with stuff and I love her even though she can be a bit... racist and shit.. and I sometimes see my grandpa and step grandma but they can be strict about weird shit and always ask a lot of uncomfortable questions

Pansy: What was your most memorable birthday? What made it be so memorable?

     I dont really do much on my birthdays? Ive had a lot of nice birthdays and it usually involves going out to dinner or having a nice dinner at home and having birthday cake and playing games like jenga or yahtzee.

Peony: What was your first job?

     I did some petsitting for a while but my first real job was being a camp counselor/tower belayer/lifeguard at a girl scout camp

Petunia: If you’re in a relationship, how did you meet your partner(s)?

     Met online after following them for a long time and drawing some arts for them, but didnt really start chatting until stranger things 3 came out bc I saw they had just watched it. Didnt meet irl until fursonacon and I just remember seeing them walking up to my car when I got there and just being like .... oh no.  I had already had a crush but at that point I was just heart eyes      

Pincushion: How do you deal with pain?

     Its a little fucked up but depending on the type of physical pain I like it? Like getting tattoos and stuff.. emotional/mental I just curl up in blankets and listen to sad music lol

Pink: Where is home?

    I feel like I have many homes? I feel really at home in the mountains, at home with my family, and when Im with my girlfriend

Plantain Lilies: If you could go back in time, what is one thing you would stop/change?

     Every event no matter how shitty shaped me into who i am today and Im pretty content and lucky with what I have today so maybe nothing?

Prairie Gentian: Who is someone you look up to? Describe them.

     My GS leader Miss Kristin. So incredibly kind and outgoing and just willing to do whatever she can to help others. Shes so adventurous and outgoing and made my gs troop so amazing. She is such a wonderful lady and shes basically like another mom to me.

Primrose: Describe your ideal life.

     To be with my SO in a nice cabin in the mountains with a nice fireplace. Its cozy and we have pets (especially kitties but also maybe a dog and chickens and such) and life is okay and we’re happy

Rhodendron: What is something you used to believe in as a child?

     God and Santa Claus (i was so heartbroken (over santa not God lmao))

Ricinus: Who’s the most important in your life?

     My girlfriend and my mom

Rose: What’s your favorite sound?

    My gfs voice and their laugh c: and I also really like the sound of thunderstorms and rain

Rosemallows: What’s your favorite memory?

Sage: What’s your least favorite memory?

Snapdragon: At this moment, what do you want?  

     To see my gf again and for winter break to just be here already I am so done with school lol

St. John’s Wort: Is it easy or difficult for you to express how you feel about things?

     Difficult? I try really hard to express how I feel but I usually mess up and I get anxious but I try my best lol

Sunflower: What is something you don’t want to imagine life without?

     Any of my loved ones and my cat 

Sweet Pea: How much sleep did you get last night?

     I wish I got more sleep but it was an okay amount

Tickseed: What’s your main reason to get up every morning?

     Good morning texts from my gf and my gf in general

Touch-Me-Not: How do you feel about your current job?

      I dont currently have a job but I occasionally do art commissions which is usually fun and gives me something to do 

Transvaal Daisy: What’s your favorite item of clothing?

     Any of my flannels and my leather jacket (also not mine but my gfs hoodie they gave to me to borrow)

Tropical White Morning Glory: Describe your aesthetic. 

     mountains, cabins, flowers, fall, flannel, small coffee shops, pastels 

Tulip: What would be the best present to get you?

     Im not one to be picky about gifts? I just love anything that someone put some thought into and thought I would like or reminded them of me but i feel bad if it was something expensive or anything lol

Vervain: What’s stressing you out most right now?

     Final exams and graduation

Wisteria: How many books have you read in the past few months? What were they called?

     0 lmao I used to read a shit ton but Ive been picky about what books I want to read lately 

Wolf’s Bane: Where do you want to be in life this time next year?

    Working towards applying to vet school and maybe thinking about moving out depending on a lot of things.

Yarrow: Do you know what vore is?

     Unfortunately

Zinnia: Give a random fact about yourself.

     I like collecting pins, pennies, and postcards which is funny to me

(So in conclusion,,, I love my gf)

(wow that was long as hell and took forever but done!)

[mugsywrites]

Fic Update

My mind is still mostly caught up in the Wildlife Photographers AU, but I have also been working on my other stuff. Thought I’d post a preview of chapter one of my “Daryl is a Savior” AU. No sexy bits as it’s before he and Paul met.

Satan, Your Kingdom Must Come Down

Chapter 1:

Memories come to him as he sits in the cell, too tired to be awake but unable to sleep through the sound of that fucking song.

He remembers back to when everything started. Remembers coming back to camp and seeing Officer Friendly standing there and saying that he and two other guys had left Merle chained to a roof surrounded by the dead. Officer Friendly— fuck, what had that self-righteous prick’s name been again? Rick something— had agreed to come to the city to help Daryl get Merle back. Make up for getting him stuck in the first place. Daryl had started to think the guy was alright until they found Merle passed out in the sun, a bloody gash on his arm where he’d started to try to saw the thing off to escape his chains. Relations soured after that.

He wonders if Officer Rick Friendly is still alive, if his wife and his kid and his best good buddy Officer Bitch had lived as well. He wonders if Officer Friendly ever realized Mrs. Friendly had been porking Officer Bitch while he was away. No doubt that situation had exploded and Family Friendly were long dead. The kid had been alright though, one cool little customer with all the bullshit surrounding him and Daryl reluctantly hopes that Carl Grimes is still alive.

Grimes. Rick Grimes, that had been his name. There’d been others, most whose names he didn’t remember, just the nicknames Merle had given them. Short Round, a Chinese kid in his twenties who had a ball cap practically glued to his head. Kiddie Diddler, a fat fuck whose eyes followed his own daughter in a way that disturbed Merle and Daryl both. Mrs. Kiddie Diddler, also known as Mouse Girl because her hair was mouse gray and she scurried after her husband like a little mouse. Old Man Eyebrows lurking on the top of his RV. Blondie and her kid sister Barely Legal Blondie; Merle’d been particularly fond of the two of them. It wasn’t mutual. Family Taco Bender. He guessed they were all dead as well, although the Chinese Kid was sneaky and quick as fuck, he might’ve made it. Daryl hopes he is still alive along with Carl Grimes.

He remembers after. Wanting to go in the direction Officer Friendly and that whole crew wasn’t, heading North and East. Running into a soldier who said Washington was the only place left standing. Washington, Washington. The soldier hadn’t lasted long enough for Daryl to remember his name or for Merle to give him a new one. They found a new group, and Daryl remembers their names. Simon and Regina and Michelle and Dwight and Sherry and Tina and others who are dead now.

He reminds himself that Simon is also dead now. Daryl had forgotten, even though Simon’s death is the reason he is in this cell waiting to die. He has no illusions about this; Negan is not going to forgive Daryl for executing Simon no matter what his reasons were. Negan didn’t even ask, just raged at Daryl while swinging Lucille through the air. The only reason Daryl’s brains aren’t splattered all over the walls is because Negan must still have some purpose for him.

This fact hurts Daryl more than he knows it should. It also hurts more than he knows it should that no one else spoke for him when Negan dragged him onto the factory floor, not even Dwight or Tina or Michelle. Turned out Merle was right after all when he said no one was ever gonna care for Daryl except him. Right before he died Merle had also said of Negan, “He ain’t right, baby brother. Get clear of ‘im.” Daryl had ignored his brother’s advice even if he never forgot it.

Daryl closes his eyes, in the blackness it makes no difference. It’s cold in this cell; he thinks it would be cold even if they let him have clothes. Cold as the night the Dixon brothers found Negan, a big guy alone and huddled by his fire cooking a skinny rabbit carcass.

Things that sneak up on me at night are dead or about to be, Negan said when he heard Daryl and Merle approach. Merle exchanged a glance with Daryl, the fact that the guy heard them was hella impressive. Merle gave Daryl a nod, and stepped into the light with his hands raised.

You ain’t gonna finish that whole thing by yourself? Merle said with an ironic grin, Name’s Merle. You look like you can use some company.

I’m Negan, the big guy said, What’s the name of your friend?

Merle looked even more impressed, My friend’s shy. We got a group nearby, you’d come in handy.

Introduce me to your friend out there first, Negan said.

Daryl, come on out, Merle said.

Daryl stepped into the light of the fire, getting his first good look at Negan. Handsome under the wild growth of beard, with black eyes and hair, Holy shit, is that a crossbow?

Sure is, Daryl replied.

Let me hold that bad son of a bitch for a minute and I’ll see about blessing your group with my presence.

Blessing? Daryl said.

Well, I am a badass and funny as fuck. Plus I got a big dick if you got any ladies in need of satisfying. Or guys, I guess. Can’t be too picky at the end of the world.

Merle laughed, I like this asshole.

Daryl is jerked out of this memory when the door to his cell opens. The light slams into his eyeballs, drilling into his skull. He grunts and covers his eyes.

Clothes are thrown at him, and the door shuts again. Daryl scrambles into them. They smell old and musty, the same way the sheets at the Mountain View Hotel smelled.  They stayed there for over two months before the dead overtook it. Merle started fucking Michelle while they were there; although Daryl thought they’d messed around a bit on the road before. She was too young and pretty for Merle, but it was the end of the world and Daryl supposed a woman’s priorities changed. Merle was an asshole but he was tough, could protect her, provide for her, and if the way she hollered when they fucked was any indication it wasn’t that big of a hardship.

Think she’s faking it? Negan asked Daryl one night when he’d been driven from his room by the sounds of a baseboard thumping against the wall and his brother’s shouts of Yeah baby, yeah, as Michelle screamed like she was being murdered.

Dunno, Daryl said.

She’s faking it, Negan said, No way your brother’s mouse dick can make a woman moan like that.

Daryl snorted, How do you know so much about my brother’s dick?

Can tell by how he walks, Negan replied, Look at how I walk, my massive cock throws off my balance. He demonstrated with an exaggerated strut and Daryl laughed. Negan was as crude and vulgar as Merle but less of an asshole. Daryl liked him.

What about you, Negan asked him, any of the fine ladies of this group strike your fancy? Tina’s a little sweet on you, I think.

Daryl started to sweat uncomfortably, She’s just a kid. I ain’t…I ain’t good with women anyhow.

Your brother wasn’t just talking shit when he said you were shy, Negan laughed, I’m just breaking your balls, man. A rare note of seriousness came to Negan’s voice then, I haven’t dipped my wick since this whole thing started, you know? Had opportunities, the gals were willing, but…none of them were my Lucille.

Daryl thinks that should have been his first clue that something wasn’t right with Negan. Even back then he’d called the bat he used “Lucille”. Even if back then the only thing he used it on was the dead Daryl should’ve known. But everyone was a little fucking crazy these days and Daryl didn’t see how fucked up Negan was, not then.

When the dead came and overwhelmed the hotel it was Negan that kept the group together, bellowing orders while fighting his way through the dead, swinging Lucille and cracking the heads of the walkers.  

Dwight cover me best you can while I work my way toward you! Merle, Daryl, and Michelle fight your way toward me! Tina and Sherry! You’re in the clear, run! See if you can secure a point outside we can all meet up!

We can do this! If we work together we can all survive! Nobody has to die today! FIGHT!

Daryl remembers fighting his way toward Negan, meeting in the center of the hotel lobby surrounded by the dead. He was using his crossbow as a club, his bolts long spent.

Let’s go, everybody’s out! Merle shouted. The four of them turned and made a run for it. They were almost out when Daryl’s foot came down on the outstretched hand of a dead walker. He stumbled and went down.

Daryl! Merle shouted, turning around. Everything seemed to happen in slow motion after that.

Merle started toward Daryl instinctually, and was stopped by a shout from Michelle. She was grappling with a walker, more were coming in. Daryl saw the agony in Merle’s eyes when he made his decision, and Daryl saw what that decision was.

Before Daryl had to watch his brother turn his back on him Negan bellowed out, I got him! Get out of here!

Then Negan was helping him to his feet, smashing aside walkers with Lucille, they were fighting their way outside to where the others were waiting.

I’m sorry, Merle said to him the next day when the group had finally been able to stop running.

Daryl shrugged, It turned out ok. I get it. Women and children first.

Merle gave him a sideways look, then said, You’re right about that, Uncle Daryl.

It took Daryl a second to realize what Merle had just said. To see the smug “my boys can swim” look on Merle’s face.

Really? Daryl said, disbelieving. He knew for a fact Merle had knocked a few women up over the years and each one got driven to the clinic down in Atlanta as soon as he became aware. In the days before the entire fucking world ended Merle would’ve run out on any woman about to have his kid, not looked proud and happy.

Really really. We gotta repopulate the world, brother. You need to get on it yourself once we’re settled down.

Negan said much the same thing when Merle and Michelle announced it to the group. Fuck yeah, brother! We gotta start making more people. Don’t worry about it, we’ll find sanctuary before the kid comes. I promise.

The cell door opens and all those memories scatter from his mind. Negan is standing in the light of the doorway, Lucille over his shoulder. He’s calmer than he was when Daryl saw him last, which makes him more frightening.

“Daryl,” Negan says with a sigh, “What am I gonna do with you?”