#im just so so so tired. i feel like i can't live. i've been in survival mode for so long

[ofstarsandvibranium]

Shall I Count the Ways: L (FINAL)

Fandom: Criminal Minds

Pairing: Spencer Reid x F!Reader

Summary: You and Spencer are best friends. You’re in love with him and he’s in love with you, but neither of you know it nor decide to tell the other about their feelings. All the love is there, just hidden in the things you say and the things you do with one another.

A/N: IT'S OFFICIALLY OVER. THANK YOU TO ALL WHO CONTINUED TO READ THIS SERIES AND IM SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO ACTUALLY FINISH IT!

Series Masterlist

50. "I love you."

You practically lived at Spencer's apartment. You spent so much of your time at his place than yours. He emptied out part of his dresser and a portion of his closet to make room for some of your things. He encouraged you to bring more of your belongings, but you declined. You didn't want to take up more of his space than you already had.

"But I like you taking up space," he had said softly, with that soft smile of his.

You wanted to confess your love to him right then and there.

You technically have already, through your words and actions, but you never actually said those three words yet. You and Spencer have officially been together for six months and haven't said "I love you" to each other yet.

You feel as though because of Spencer's own insecurities and anxieties, he held back saying them. For you, you just didn't want to put any pressure on Spencer to say it back. But you love him, there is no doubt about that. You know in your heart, your mind, hell, your entire being that you absolutely love this man. You have for so long and you can't imagine not loving him.

You know he loves you too. You know by how he holds you, how he looks at you, how he talks to you. He doesn't say it outright, but you know he does.

Still. Hearing him say it would be nice. But there's that underlying fear, on both sides.

So now, six months into being with Spencer, you've come to accept that it may be a while until you hear him say those words.

Until he does on one random Tuesday evening.

_________________

Spencer was away on a case. He was called by Emily as soon as his last class of the day ended. They needed all hands on deck. He gave you a quick call on his way to his office, to let you know what was going on. He grabbed his go-bag that he always keeps at the school and proceeded to head to Quantico.

He'd been gone for four days. Every night before going to sleep, he'd call you and listen to you relay your day to him. You'd keep talking until either of you fell asleep. The last thing either of you heard were each other's voices.

The last day, Spencer texted you that he'd be coming home late and that you shouldn't wait up for him.

Well, you're stubborn, you so made sure to drink some coffee while you waited for Spencer to arrive back.

You were sitting in Spencer's living room, posting some of the new antiques you received onto your website when you heard a familiar jingle of keys. You set your laptop aside and stood up right as the door swung open.

Spencer's tired eyes brightened in surprise, "I told you not to stay up."

"It's fine. I drank some coffee so I can be awake to greet you," you peck his lips and take his bag from him. You go to bring it to his room, but he catches your wrist.

"Hold on. C'mere," he pulls you to him, causing you to drop his bag at your feet.

You giggle, wrapping your arms around him, "What is it, Spencer?"

His eyes roam your face, taking in every detail before landing on your eyes, "I love you."

It was now your turn to look surprised, "Spencer-"

"I'm sorry it took me so long to say it. First I take forever to confess my feelings for you and now to confess my love. I'm sorry you've had to wait so long for me, but know that I've always loved you and will continue to love you."

You can't help but chuckle in disbelief, "Where is this grand confession coming from, hm? Did something happen? Did someone say something?"

Spencer looks shyly at you, "No. Nothing like that. It's-It's just I was thinking about how excited I was to come back here and to find you here. I felt so much love for you just thinking about seeing you again after these past few days. Then I realized I never even said 'I love you' yet. We've been together for six months, three days, and," he pauses to look at his watch, then finishes, "-twenty-one minutes."

"I love you too, Spencer. I wanted to tell you much sooner, but I didn't want to pressure you in saying it back. You've been going through so much, I didn't want to add any more stress-"

Spencer shakes his head, "No, you could never add any stress to my life. You take it all away just by being here."

You smile brightly at him, "I love you so much, Spencer," you whisper.

"I love you too," he murmurs before closing in the distance and pressing his lips to yours.

You and Spencer have gone through hell and back, but you two have always loved each other. You've said and shown it in various ways and you know that there is absolutely nothing the world can throw at you that will break you two apart.

[mosspapi]

Gonna b honest. I kinda preferred being actively and pressingly suicidal to whatever the fuck I've got going on now. At least then I knew what I could do to keep myself reasonably safe. Whether I'd do it is another question entirely but at least it was cut-and-dry and made sense. Idek what my brain is doing atp, much less what it needs from me

[rickydirigo]

That Paper Mario fanart is the most i've drawn in like.....a month and a half oof, besides a handful of commissions. But I just haven't felt like drawing and it sucks, a lot, CAUSE I WANT TO DRAW....

But I appreciate folks sticking around even when it's been quiet here lately. I didn't even draw any Mermay stuff for myself waaah

[disco-lizard]

took a longass bath AND shower so i feel like a brand new person but ugh. i really do wish my therapist would call me back. idk why she hasn't just set up an appointment. i have so many feelings i need to work through and i feel like i can't process any of them without her help. it sucks. i don't want to keep leaning on people who aren't responsible for my failures. i feel so bogged down by everything that's happened this year AND last year. it's like i can't breathe.

[mieczyhale]

one of the guys that runs a reaction channel i've been watching for ages just announced that they're ending the channel next year bc he got a job offer and he's getting married and he's thinking about his family and his future and like...

my son in christ you are 21

i literally want to fucking die

[wishmkr-jirachi]

...

[featherymainffins]

I thought I would walk some additional 14 km today and thus burn my accidental lunch (caved into peer pressure and went to a restaurant and had a salad instead of eating my perfectly counted can of tuna) and as such I agreed to go have breakfast with some friends tomorrow to celebrate the end of the excursion.

But I did not walk those 14 km because I wasn't able to get water + I just finished 12 hours of lectures + my arches were killing me + it was raining + I wanted to shower + I wanted to study + I was fucking freezing.

Which means I have to punish myself for my lack of discipline and I also have to make up for the food and that means I CANNOT have that breakfast. In fact I cannot have anything. For 2 days. Just to be sure.

So now I'm trying to figure out what lie I can make up. Currently thinking about saying that I just started to feel really nauseous all of a sudden and as such I unfortunately cannot eat breakfast oopsie. It feels really random and not really believable though.

[radmista]

"Some are calling [fruit] a slur" ??????

@jimvasta It's BEEN a slur. Fruit has been a homophobic slur used in the past and still used as a slur. You can not reclaim it. Most of tumblr can not "reclaim" this slur as they are not homosexual men, the people this slur was aimed at. Most homosexual men do not reclaim this word.

Pull your head out of your ass. Fruit isn't somehow now magically being claimed a slur. It's always been a slur when used at homosexual men. Teenagers just have never known that and have thought it was a heehee silly word for any q***r person. You're starting to see a lot more people say it is a slur IN RESPONSE to seeing teenagers and young adults flippantly throwing the word around as if it hasn't been used as a homophobic slur for decades before they were even able to access the internet.

[sensitivegoblin]

I fucking hate my family

Unsafe vent

[phantom-does-a-thing]

maybe its just imposter syndrome or whatever but I'm looking at my ao3 and im just. not feelin good about my writing rn.

[coquettebratzdoll]

ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅

Stop scrolling. Just stop.

(A little tough love. Im going to be much more rude and blunt than i normally am. If you arent in the right headspace for that rn, skip this post)

How long have you been on tumblr today ? Yesterday ? This week ? Hell, even this month ? And, more importantly, why don't you have your desires already ?

"But, Athenaaaa. I still don't know how to manifest/shift 🥺" Decide what you want and persist in the assumption that it's yours. Mindblowing 🤯

In all seriousness, you should really check why you feel the need to know everything there is to know about shifting/manifesting. It's okay to want to know more, only if it doesn't come at the expense of ACTUALLY applying that knowledge. I've always held the belief that knowledge is useless if you do nothing with it. And as far as I see, it holds true. It's sooooo easy to get everything that you want, SO 💥 WHY 💥 TF 💥 ARENT 💥 YOU 💥 DOING 💥 IT !?!?

OMLLLLL, all of us bloggers are saying the exact same shit in different fonts (i chose pink tehe 🤭). Honestly, nobody can force you to apply. If you are content with the life you live, then that's ayt 🤷‍♀️. Like idk if you expect us to manifest for you or smth. We are already sharing our knowledge and experience on how we got what we got, for FREE. Yet you can't hold up your end of the bargain 🤦‍♀️.

Must feel nice, huh ? Getting that dopamine rush everytime you like a post. Making mental reminders to affirm this or do that or listen to that sub of whatever tf. Maybe you actually go through with it for a couple days 🎊. Yet you're still here. You're STILL liking all those posts. You're STILL doing all those challenges. You're STILL living in the old story. It's laughable actually.

For all of those who are actually SERIOUS about getting what you want, then stop scrolling and fucking APPLY. If your tired of being beaten down by your reality and circumstances - decide that you have everything that you want and NEVER take 'no' for an answer.

[ludwigplayingthetrombone]

Post war/coma comic about Gai struggling with his recovery

Since tumblr hates long form comics, I have to split this into 2 bc its 36 images. This is the first part, part 2 i'll either do as a reblog or a separate post right after this, stay tuned! Links to support me in pinned post <3

tw: s*icidal thoughts, injury, a little blood

Bisuke: Gai's Back!

Gai: GRAAH!

Kks: Im home Gai: Welcome back Kks: [wheels rolling] Hey,

Kks: Ga-!? Gai: Im fine. The tile is cool on my face. Kks: Wanna go lay down in bed? Gai: I am so /sick/ of lying down. Kks: Ok. What do you want for supper?

Gai: You're not going to comment? Kks: I already know what happened. You overdid it again. I should be able to keep up with chores, kakashi. Kks: You can. Just don' bull through it all in one go. Do you want to end up in the hospital again? Gai: Please don't. Kks: I know sitting still is hard for you, and "too much" is in your DNA, but you have to take this slow so you don't exacerbate your injuries, Gai. You went from hyper-aware to pretending your body limits dont exist. Gai: Like you haven't done the same.

Gai: You've proved your point. Kks: It's not about that. And you've dragged me to bed and out of bed repeatedly when I needed it. You were burning alive from the inside. Tsunade told you your immune system is out of whack. You need to take it easy. /I/ know you're capable, but are you trying to prove to /yourself/ you are? Gai: You want me to admit my embarrassment? Kks: If something serioud happens, You'll be even more embarrassed then

Gai: How could you possibly know how I FEEL?! How could you EVER KNOW HOW I FEEL?! Kks: I DON'T! But I've /been/ the one ouking and sobbing on your bathroom floor because I couldn't take living anymore! And I don't want that for YOU!

Kks: I'm sorry, Gai. Gai: I'm sorry

Kks: I can't stand knowing you're in pain, and I can't get you help. If there was a way, I'd do anything. Gai: You do so much to help me already.... And I yelled at you Kks: I've screamed at you so much, that was pretty tame. I wish I was like you with things like this. Not great with what to say...... But I can listen.

Gai: I hate feeling so weak. I'm tired all the time, in constant pain, I can't even walk-..... I can tell tenten and the boys worry despite my efforts to appear positive. Kks: They're just not sure how to react. They know you hate being babied, but don't want to push you into hurting yourself. You hate being told you can't do something. They love you. You get stronger everyday, everyone is cheering you on.

Gai: I know it's irrational, but... I feel like you gave up the Hokage position to take care of me. Kks: Haa!? I'm grateful if anything. I'd be retired too if I could. That'd be amazing. I'm dreading just helping Tsunade but as long as you're by my side, I'll be fine. We're still equals, rivals, friends, partners

Gai: Even if I can't- Kks: /Always/ wil be, dickhead. Gai: You worry about me hurting myself? Kks: I know you think about it

Kks: We're the same in that regard Gai: I would never act on this, please believe me, these thoughts are rare........... Kks: It's ok, Gai. Gai: Sometimes I think i should have just died. I feel so out of place on the streets I used to feel so at home at. I never asked to live. I didn't plan to. I just don't know how to-...

Kks: I understand that. Though, dying didn't feel any better. Gai: I know I didn't fully pass like you did. I didn't see papa. Just for a moment, I wish I could have seen him.

Kks: As much as I'm sure he wants to see you again, It's too soon. Dai'd slap the shit out of you for wanting to waste your youth just to see him. Gai: [chuckle] probably. Kks: I have those thoughts less and less now, but they're still there. "why am I the one who survives?" "Burden" "Gai will come to his senses eventually"

Gai: FALSE!! None of my grief is with you! I love living here with you! My love for you only burns hotter each day! You're so lovely inside and out! Kks: Maa What did I do to deserve such praise from teh mouth of the hottest man in Konoha?? Gai: YOU STILL THINK I'M HOT?! Kks: YOU-! [CACKLE]

Kks: Your bad taste is the only reason I had a chance before someone snatched you up. Gai: The worst. Kks: Thought we'd irritate eachother, but it's been pretty smooth. Even though you still get played by the dogs. Gai: You really wanna throw those stones?

Gai: They play you just as easily. don't lie. Kks: My point is, whatever you need from me, you have it. No questions asked. Even if you yell and scream, i can take it. You held me together when I was unraveling, and I'll never forget it. Didn't trust anyone else to see me like that. Broken

Gai: I never saw you as that. Kks: I'll never see you as that

[obsidianbaby]

But that's what I love about you

synopsis - you always get told you're too loud and that your laugh is incredibly annoying but that's what your boyfriend chris loves about you the most

warnings/notes - NONE!! pure fluff, established relationship with chris, some pets names but like get over it ?

a/n - i loveddddd writing this request i had so much funnnn thank you sm @presleyanswrites

___________________________________

The boys are pacing around the living room getting ready to go out to film a car video and chris notices you sulking on the couch.

"hey babe are you coming with us?" Chris asks from the kitchen looking over at you. Your face buried in your phone reading through comments on the last youtube video you featured in with the triplets.

"omg she's so fucking annoying"

"dont know how chris can put up with her"

"if i had her as a gf i would want to kms"

"her laugh tho? yikes"

"they must be so sick of her fr"

"how to fix my eardrums after hearing her yap the whole video no borax no glue"

chris noticing the sad look on your face, he wonders over to the couch and takes a seat beside you, resting his head in the crook of your neck. You continue to doom scroll through the comments, not being able to take your eyes off of the public hate flooding the internet.

"babyyyyyy" chris says softly against your neck.

"hmm?" you say not taking your eyes off of the screen.

"did ya hear me?" he asks, softly brushing the hair out of your face.

"no sorry, what did you say?"

"are you gonna come film with us? want you there with us tonight." he says sweetly, wrapping his arms around you pulling you against him.

"um... no i think i'll skip this one" you say quietly.

"what? you cant!!" Nick shouts from the kitchen.

you immediatley look up at nick and matt standing in the kitchen looking over at you and chris sitting on the couch.

"no it's okay guys i think i'll just go to bed or something" putting your phone down on your lap, the screen still open.

Matt and nick nod at you and start walking towards the stairs to the garage door.

"meet ya down there chris" Matt shouts as they disappear down the stairs.

"yeah guys i'll be there in a minute" chris says back. He sits up and turns his body towards you on the couch, "what's wrong baby?" chris asks searching your face.

"nothing chris im okay, just tired." you lie, looking down at your lap where your phone sits. Chris follows your gaze and sees your phone open on your lap and he looks back at you.

"whats going on hmm?" chris asks softly, reaching his hand to lift your chin to face him and he sees the emptiness in your puffy eyes. "have you been crying baby what's wrong?" he asks rubbing his hand against your cheek.

"it's nothing dont worry about it, go and film your video chris i'll probably be in bed when you get home" you say looking into his eyes, you can see the concerned look painted across his face and it melts your heart, you feel guilty about him wasting his time here with you instead of having fun with his brothers.

"listen, you can't lie to me like that you know how well i can read you," he starts, cupping your face in his hands bringing your face closely to his and he plants a gentle kiss on your forehead, "now tell me what's going on i wanna help"

you close your eyes enjoying the soft embrace of his warm hands holding your heavy head and you let out a heavy sigh trying to collect your words without breaking out in a sob.

But chris is right in the way he can read you and he instantly pulls you into him and you bury your face against his chest, your tears starting to fall.

"its okay baby im here i've got you" he says rubbing your back in soft circles, "tell me when you're ready okay? i wont force you to talk about it if you dont want to okay?"

you nod into his chest and take a few deep breaths collecting yourself before you back up to look into his eyes, "i just feel like people don't want to see me with you guys. like in your videos... I don't think they like me that much..."

Chris nods and looks towards your phone sitting in your lap, "whats going on hm? you wanna show me?"

you hesitate fumbling your phone in your hands before you sigh and hand it over to him. He takes the time to read the disgusting comments glaring from your phone screen, the same that are still swimming in your mind.

he shakes his head and closes the app, putting your phone down behind him.

"you know none of that is true, right?" he says, reaching out to wipe the silent tears now strolling down your cheeks.

"but its not just a couple comments here and there, so many people are saying the same shit. That I'm too loud, that my laugh is annoying, that i talk too much, that you guys must be fed up with me i just feel so disgusting and embarrassed."

chris's eyes sadden at your words and he sighs looking down shaking his head, "i know dating a content creator must be difficult for you baby, there's always going to be people who have nothing but negative and hurtful shit to say but they don't matter."

"but they're right chris, your fans aren't the only people who've said im too much for them, i've been told that im too much my whole life.." you say hiding your face in your hands.

Chris gently holds your hands and pulls them away from your face holding them in his as he looks into your eyes.

"yet you're here with me right now. and you know what? you're not too much, not for nick, not for matt, and especially not for me. I love you and i love how outgoing and loud you are." he says smiling sweetly at you.

"but-" you start but chris interrupts you.

"but that's what i love the most about you. I love your contagious laugh, i love the way you can freely share your thoughts and opinions without hesitation. You're perfect for me and my heart would break if you ever tried to dim your light because of jealous assholes hiding behind their screens on the internet." he says smiling at you.

you sigh, knowing your boyfriend is right. he chose you. and he's choosing to give his undivided attention to you right now to make sure you feel better and to show you how much you mean to him.

"i love you...." he says looking at you waiting for a response.

"i love you too chris. i appreciate you so much you know that." you say meeting his eyes. he presses his forehead against yours and the two of you stay like that for a moment.

he pulls away and looks at you a stupid grin on his face, "of course you love me i'm the best" and you giggle at him shaking your head.

"i wouldn't go that far..." you say teasingly and he gasps pretending to act offended making you laugh. man he always knows how to make you feel better.

Chris's phone suddenly vibrates, an incoming call from nick coming up on his screen and he looks at it and answers it quickly, "yeah nick im coming okay be down in a minute" and he hangs up pocketing his phone.

"its okay if you still want to stay home baby it's up to you but just so you know, the three of us want you there yeah?"

"i know... I think i'm still going to stay home, probably watch a movie."

"sounds good baby, i'll text you okay?" chris says pulling you into a big hug and he sprinkles a bunch of kisses all over your face.

"see you soon" you say as you watch your boyfriend get up and walk towards the stairs to the garage.

____________________________________

a/n - first fluffffffff let me know what y'all think!! sorry if you hate the pet names "baby" and "babe" i literally cannot stand y/n so i try really hard not to use it okok thank you for reading mwah!! xx

dts - @jnkvivi @bigbeefybitch @loud-sturniolos @d44rla @stuniolvs @stasiesturn @moeberry @sturniolocamper @thatssocancelled @bitchydragonparadise @crazy-people-are-here

[zours025]

Zombie apocalypse face au I've been thinking of...

Thoughts/details on the AU and an alt color vers of the first drawing (luring you into my evil cave) ⬇️⬇️⬇️

Face as unrelated parties... All normal humans. Caname and fruk (separately) wandering the world after generic zombie outbreak. Theyre some of the last ones left so they rarely meet people and need to depend on the other party heavily. Blahblah its miserable everyone is sad and hurt and tired. Francis had to cut off Arthurs leg to prevent an infection. Arthur has to learn to lean on Francis for a lot of stuff and they learn to get over past grudges and such... 😇 Alfred is bitten at some point and hides it from Matthew. Matthew knows, but he's basically lost any will to live and is ready to die whenever Alfred turns because. Well. "I'm only living for him anyways..." type of sentiment... They ignore it and it's never brought up but it's like. I know you know that I know that- Anyways. So those two are trying their hardest to live out their last days in relative happiness. Doing fun stuff. Appreciating the simple things, landscapes, each other's company, etc... That is until they bump into Francis and Arthur in a totally horrible state. And it's like "Well... We can't just let them die can we? We have nothing to lose anyways." So they watch over the two and care for them and once they're all in okay health they decide to stick together and move on. But Arthur and Francis are clearly more determined to live than Mattie and Alfred and they're good fighters. So they wanna keep em around, all while hiding that Alfred is slowly dying and is eventually gonna kill them all. Milking Francis and Arthur's good will... Eventually new relationships form between the four and inevitably weird "betrayal!" and jealousy type feelings show up... Francis is tired of just sleeping with Arthur and when he gets mad he flirts with either of the twins... And the like... Well I haven't thought the whole thing through but these are the important emotional bases to the idea I guess...

I wrote a scenario for many different possibilities of first-to-dies (because i find them all interesting and bcuz twitter oomf asked and i have no restraint. lole)

Alfred dies first: Most obvious scenario (like hes already a bit zombified and clearly hes getting physically weaker) Im imagining a terrible scenario no matter what. Matthew probably finds him first all hunched over and stuff womdering whats wrong before realising that it's finally the end of the line. Francis/Arthur aren't far behind and they blow "Alfreds" head off without hesitation. Obviously causes a rift between the two and Matthew, who broke their trust by hiding this from them. Matthew is inconsolable for a few days, he thought he had more time. Despite the lie I think Francis and Arthur would end up feeling sympathy. They try to keep Matthew up on his feet but frankly I think this would end with him blowing his brains out eventually anyways... 😊

Alternatively Mattie has been mentally preparing himself for a very long time and he immediately kills "Alfred" and then himself in quick succession. Francis and Arthur are haunted by the memory of the two for the rest of their trip.

Arthur dies first: Similarly, I think its easy to imagine this. He's missing a leg and mostly needs to be near someone else to survive zombie attacks/ambushes. Would probably accidentally get separated from the group and get overrun... Might use himself as a distraction to allow the other three to get away in a particularly dire situation... In a way he thinks hes just dead weight anyways and he wants to see the other three live knowing that he doesn't have much left to offer them (Francis would disagree). Francis is obviously very upset and he loses sleep over the memory of Arthur, his last "real" link to his normal life before all of this. But I think Francis is stable enough to prioritise the twins he took under his wing. He knows they need someone to keep them together, so he toughs it out. Everything is fine till Alfred turns some many months later. By then, Francis developed a strong attachment to the two and doesn't have any regrets. Would probably struggle against Alfreds strength to allow Matthew to escape or something along those lines...

Francis dies first: I can also see him just getting killed by sheer numbers. I think he grew very fond of the twins pretty fast + had to be Arthurs protection for a long time and so he developed this feeling of "I need to keep them all safe at all costs". I don't think itd be as much of a letting go type thing as Arthur. It's more calculated and would only happen in a worst-case scenario. I think Arthur would be pretty irritable for the next few weeks, a lot of things remind him of Francis. It bothers him since he wants to just forget and move on, but he finds that his feelings are more difficult to control than he initially thought. Yells a lot at Matthew and Alfred and gets into petty fights. Its not pretty, but they have their moments... In the end, it's not like he wants to make them suffer. They're all he has left now. Hes trying his best. Has a lot of days where he just wishes he had been the one to die instead.

Matthew dies first: Honestly I'm imagining a non-zombie related death, like an accident with one of the guns or some unrelated illness or like. Falling onto a branch? Falling from high up in general? Setting off a trap? Lol idk. Something that allows Alfred to hold Matthew during his final moments or at least look into his eyes. I think hes also the most liable to flip out on everyone and just kill the four of them all together idk ❤ Crazy girl ❤ It shocks Alfred immensely. He expected to be the first one to die and he's really upset about the whole thing. Outwardly, he cracks jokes and tries to convince the other two that he's fine but he's very much not. Doesn't really know what tk do with himself. Just goes through the motions every day. Francis and Arthur notice the slight change in behaviour but don't really say anything and pretend everything is fine. Playing at being a normal family. Arthur and Francis try spending lots of time with Alfred but nothing really helps. Eventually Alfred turns without ever telling them he was infected and they all die the end. Alternatively he kills the other two and then himself on like a random Tuesday. ❤

Bonus: Everyone except Alfred dies lol. Alone in the desolate empty landscape. Welp!!! What now!!!

If you saw my first post of this text part no you didn't im editing this and putting it here with the drawing its more organised ❤ okay ❤

[luveeseo]

PAIRING: kim minji x reader

GENRE: fluff, one shot

WORD COUNT: 1,014

WARNINGS: none<3

it was 9pm, minji sat on the couch in the living room, watching tv to pass the time. the sky was dark grey, a color which slowly turned even darker. the sound of raindrops hitting the window could faintly be heard. she looked curious out the window at the rain, now falling. as she continued to look outside, a loud rumble of thunder could be heard in the distance. she got up from the couch, deciding to go get herself a glass of water from the kitchen. she opened the cabinet and reached for a glass, filling it with water as she stood in the kitchen, listening to the rain. another rumble of thunder was heard, this time louder than the last. she glanced at the door, wondering if it would be a good idea to go outside and enjoy the rain…

suddenly, the doorbell rang throughout the apartament. she stood for a moment, unsure who would be at the door late at night. she places the glass on the counter, walking over the door. she opened the door, her eyes widening when she saw you standing in front of the door, your hair and clothes already soaking wet.

"y/n? what the hell are you doing here?" she says, grabbing you by the wrist and pulling you inside before closing the door. "come on in"

"i was on my way home when it started to rain. i didnt have an umbrella and i was already wet, as you can see, so i rang your doorbell hoping i could stay until the rain slows down a bit" you explained to her.

"oh, you should've called or text me, you know i would've picked you up instead of having you walking through rain like that!" she quickly grabbed a towel from the bathroom and handed it to you. "here, dry yourself off. i'll grab you some dry clothes. you can't stay in those, you'll catch a cold"

you nodded, taking the towel and beginning to dry your hair. minji disappeared down the hall for a moment, leaving you alone in the living room. the sound of the rain continued to beat against the window. the thunder rambled again. when minji returned, she had a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie in her hands.

"these should fit you" she said, offering a smile. "bathroom's just down the hall."

"thanks minji, i really appreciate this."

"i'm just glad you came here instead of staying out in the storm."

you headed to the bathroom to change. minji had always been there for you, no matter what. it was moments like these that made you realize how much she cared.

when you retunred to the living toom, minji was already sitting back on the couch, the tv still on, but muted now. she looked up as you entered, patting the spot next to her.

"feel better?" she asked as you sat down.

"much better." you replied with an undeniable smile. the warm clothes and the coziness atmoshpere of minji's apartment made you feel completely safe and relaxed.

"actually, i was thinking about going outside and enjoy the rain," minji said suddenly, after a moment of silence. "but… im glad i didnt, cause then i would have missed you…"

"you actually enjoy the rain?"

"yeah." minji nodded, with a small smile. "its soothing. but tonight, i dont need to go outside to feel that way.."

"why not?" you inquired.

"because i've got you," she said softly "that's all i need"

both of you sat quietly for a moment, the room dimly lit by the light of the tv. despire the storm raging outside, there was a sense of peace, like everything was exactly as it should be,

"minji, thanks for letting me stay"

"you never have to thank me. my door is always open for you, y/n. besides, i dont think the rain will stop anytime soon, so why not stay here for the night? we could watch a movie too, if you're not too tired."

"minji… really its ok, i dont want to-"

"no, y/n, please." she immediatly cuts you off and without even realizing, she starts holding onto your hand, not wanting you to leave "stay here with me." she said, looking at you with puppy eyes.

"hey, dont look at me with those eyes now… you know i cant say no that way" you say, cupping her face softly, running the thumb across her cheek as you look into her eyes.

minji was all smiles at the simple gesture, feeling warm and safe in your hand. "so, stay?" she asks.

"yes, i'll stay." you reassure her. minji was very excited to spend the night with you. you could see it on her face too. as she suggested, she put on a movie, brought a blanket and some extra pillows too, so you both could get more comfy on the couch. if that wasn't enough, she made some popcorn and you know nothing can beat the smell of hot popcorn, fresh out of the microwave. you couldnt help but smile at her enthusiasm as she fussed around making sure everything was just right. the atmosphere was perfect. the storm outside only added to the ambience, making the inisde feel like heaven.

as the movie began, minji rested her head on your shoulder. you could feel her hand resting gently on your thigh. the closeness was natural. you adjusted slightly, making sure the blanket covered you both and without thinking, you let your hand fall to caress her hair, feeling her strands slide between your fingers. it seemed as though time had stopped, the outisde world forgotten and only the two of you were left in that little bubble.

"y/n," minji spoke in a quiet tone. "im realy glad youre here tonight."

"me too, minji," you replied, your voice just as soft. "i wouldnt wanna be anywhere else."

you werent sure where this was going. the fact that you were there, spending a night that seemed like it was meant to be, was all that counted.

[facefullofsadness]

HII SORRY IDK IF REQS R ON OR OFF BUT CAN I REQ GUITARIST DOM NEIGHBOUR YUNJIN X NERD SUB Y/N (FEM)

first of all, yes reqs are open dw. second, ANON IM OBSESSED WITH THIS CONCEPT GRRR FOAMING AT THE MOUTH

content - dom guitarist neighbor!yunjin x nerd sub!y/n (written like "studious nerd" not "loser nerd" like in the sakura fic), smut (rough sex, fingering, choking, degradation, mommy kink, edging)

wc - 1652

a/n - ffos stop writing rockstar!yunjin smut challenge (difficulty: impossible). and when I do a rockstar!au series w a bunch of diff idols just fucking y/n brainless, then what? bc look at the material, rockstar winter, giselle, hanni, yunjin, wendy, phew, I'm dizzy.

all you want to do is study or relax, but yunjin has her own agenda.

I imagine you're some kind of stem or pre-med major where ur head is always buried in books, trying to study and memorize and re-memorize and review all this fucking material. ur always preoccupied with your studies that when u finally get that moment to rest, you really bask in the peace of silence after a long day.

but of course, you can never have good things. bc as soon as you lay back on your couch, ur favorite snack next to you and putting your comfort show on the tv, you hear music blasting from your neighbor. the melody u conclude being an arctic monkeys song (taste jennifer! listen to do I wanna know for immersion :)) which you would enjoy on any other day, if not for the fact that you were trying to relax and NOT feel the vibrations of the electric guitar from next door. that being said, this neighbor had been practicing music EVERY DAY for the past few weeks.

it drove u insane. you have never tried to confront ur neighbor bc you hoped they would stop on their own (maybe due to social anxiety too but that's neither here nor there), but after WEEKS of this perpetual migraine, you had no choice.

building up the courage to walk over to their door and proceeding to practically pound on it, music louder now that you were outside their apartment. you were fully prepared to go ape-shit on the menace that had been tormenting your serenity for so long. but you didn't prepare for them to be hot?!

the music stopping after 3 rounds of your aggressive knocking and finally a red-haired sexy ass woman swung open the door fully, guitar slung on her back and tatted arms crossed, wearing black tattered clothes, the woman towering over you as she leaned forward, looking up at her eyebrow and septum piercings.

you gulped nervously, not expecting such a sight, the ginger raising an eyebrow at you curiously.

"what do you want?" she'd ask annoyedly.

her tone pissed you off and snapped u out of your trance, "for you to lower your music or stop playing."

bold, she thought.

"why should I?" the woman leaned against her door frame, a smirk tugging at her lips.

you huff out frustratingly, "because you've been blasting your music for the past few weeks and I'm sick and tired of it, it gives me a headache and you have no respect."

she scoffs, "aw, is my princess missing out on her beauty sleep?"

you close ur eyes and sigh, regaining urself so you wouldn't blow up, then looking up at the girl's eyes, "can you PLEASE lower the music at least?"

the ginger uncrosses her arms and leans forward again, one hand on the door frame and another gesturing at you, "do I get anything in return for being such a good girl for you?"

u feel chills go down your spine at her words and your cheeks heat up. the sound of her deep chuckle makes you look away.

"fuck you're cute, what's your name?" she tilts her head to the side.

"y-y/n."

"I've never seen you around y/n. you're telling me I've been living next to an absolute babe for the past few months and I didn't know? can't be having that."

your eyes dart anywhere else before you clear your throat, "anyway, thank you, I'll get going now."

"ah, ah, ah, not so fast y/n-ie. I haven't even told you my name yet!" you feel a hand snatch your wrist and pull you back, your body falling into hers.

you look up at the red-haired neighbor, "it's yunjin, jennifer to friends, but you can moan mommy to me."

you scream internally and feel your heartbeat racing. it'd be so fucking cringe to hear it if anyone else said it, but something about the way jen held you and looked at you like her next meal made your lower stomach feel on fire.

"do you wanna know how talented guitarists are with their fingers?" her naughty half-lidded gaze trailed the features of your face, looking so innocent to her, with your large black framed glasses and wide eyes.

"you're disgusting and a pervert miss jennifer," you say, trying to cover up your attraction to her and the situation (failing btw).

you try to pull away from her grasp, her strong hands gripping your arms tighter and holding you close, her face coming closer to yours, "oh please, don't lie and tell me you don't wanna fuck me."

"you really don't have any respect do you?"

"and where was your respect? came pounding on my door, demanding whatever bullshit you just said, didn't even ask me for my name miss neighbor!" a cocky smile spreading on yunjin's face.

"well I apologize but it should be common sense to not blast your music for the entire 5th floor to hear," you roll your eyes, crossing your arms in her hold.

"you look even better when you're angry, maybe I should piss you off some more."

god she pissed you off so much, it's unfortunate the girl was really fucking hot.

"I'm not pissed," you lied.

"no? what are you then? horny?" the audacity really.

you roll your eyes, "can I go?"

jen gives you an annoyingly smug expression and shakes her head left to right before pulling you into her place, shutting the door behind you, and pinning you to it.

"you may not be horny, which I don't believe, but I am now."

her grip leaves your arms and trails your sides. you let out a heavy sigh but try to hold your composure.

"hm? you're not pushing me away? does that mean I'm right?"

she chuckles lowly next to your ear, her greedy hands slipping under your sweatshirt and rubbing the skin.

"sh-shut up," you mumble, turning your head away from her face in your neck, her mouth leaving hot breaths and wet kisses across it.

her calloused fingertips tap against your waist and travel higher, "no bra? was your intention to get fucked so I could change my mind?"

she's so vulgar, like it gives you the ick, but she feels so good, you ignore the bullshit spilling from her lips.

she feels up your stomach and places each hand on your boobs, kneading them eagerly and breathing hard on your neck. you bite your lip to prevent any noise from escaping your mouth. you knew it was wrong, you knew it was dirty, but you knew it felt too good to wanna stop.

"c'mon princess, let it out for me," yunjin would whisper against your skin, her thumbs circling your hard nipples.

your hands clutch her bare shoulders as you feel her smile against your jaw. you struggle hard to hold back a whine as she pushes you into the door using her warm body.

"I have nothing to let out for you," lying again.

"I guess I just have to tear it out from you then," the guitarist says before taking her hands out from under your sweatshirt and grabbing you by the thighs, lifting you up and carrying you to her room.

your body falls against the plush mattress and you watch as the woman slings her guitar off her shoulders, crawling on the bed towards you.

"you may be able to resist how good it feels now, but not after I have my way with you... I won't be the one making so much noise after all."

oh and she truly kept her word.

yunjin's right hand fingers were plunged deep inside your pussy, thrusting in and out at unfathomable speed, while her left hand fingers were in your mouth, shoving them down your throat and making you gag.

your shorts and panties were somewhere lost in her room and if your vision wasn't blurred with tears, you swear your clothes hang from one of the guitars she had displayed on the wall. you sat with your legs wide open on jen's lap, your back against the headboard for stability, tongue sticking out so her fingers can reach deeper into your mouth.

all you could make out were the choking noises coming from your throat and muffled moaning conjoined with it. your cunt was on fire due to the pace at which her digits were ramming into you. your eyes were rolled back and your thighs trembled.

"you sick fuck, you're really enjoying this you know? I know you are, I know you love how rough I'm treating you. who would've known some lowly nerd like you would be into such freaky shit."

she'd pull the fingers in your throat out which caused you to release a deep groan, but return her hand to your neck, squeezing and pinning you against the headboard.

"m-mommy..." you'd desperately whimper out.

a sick chuckle leaves her throat hearing you call her the title she mentioned earlier.

"you may be a whore but you're good at following directions, aren't you princess?" she sinisterly smiles at your fucked out expression, pulling her fingers all the way out to slam them in again, using four digits to plunge into your gushing cunt.

your vision blurs completely as you feel your high coming quick. your back arches off of the wall and your body melts into yunjin's hold.

"cumming already? so sensitive, I don't wanna end it yet," she immediately retracts her hand from your pulsing core.

you whine desperately at the loss of contact and jennifer's grip on your neck tightens.

"listen here little slut, I barely even started. you're going to hold out until I have my way with you, got it?"

let's just say you're not the neighbor making the noise complaints in the next few hours (days? weeks? yunjin realllyyyy liked you).

a/n - guitarists' finger dexterity is no joke (I play guitar so someone plsss hmu :.) aka huh yunjin hit my line im begging you)