#im just so sad having to see friends constantly choosing to close theses off from the good around them

[lovedlovingly]

not to sound dumb but u literally have to want better for yourself in life for life to get better, and this has ZERO to do with what u originally deserve because u already deserve the world. but as long as u hold on so tight to the idea that u don't, bathe in the misery that u convinced yourself is all u should have, you WILL make sure u miss out on good things in life. not all of it, some will still worm their way into your life because it knows its for you. but like stop pushing the good in life away just because you or someone else decided that a false truth of suffering is safer than anything good life has to offer. literally just WANT better for yourself and see what that means for u. there's so many ppl ready to love u, and i bet a part of u is longing to love yourself anew as well, why is the comfort of known suffering better than the terrifying excitement of the multiple doors to the better unknown, why did u choose to keep this pattern as the once u force yourself to be comfortable with.

and if the ppl around u are the ones keeping u in said misery you have to make sure you do whatever u can to get out, whatever they think they're winning from keeping u down you are not! there is love and support around u and waiting for u, you literally just have to stop shaking it off because it feels different to what you're used to. want better for yourself, find out what that means, and try it even if it means just poking one little finger outside of your comfortable self loathing zone

because at least then it means you're trying, your focus has shifted, and you can then start actively choosing how much better life should be for u and how fast - because it's all waiting for u. stop not wanting it for yourself