#im just overall unhappy with my life right now ig

[pistachiozombie]

Feelin real salty and fed up about art today ☠️🗣💅👄🤷‍♀️

[nar-nia]

hello!

it seems that everytime i want to get back on Tumblr my life goes "nuh uh" so im gone forever lool

life is just busy - but not in the way that i hate, the nice kinda busy, maybe except of uni but im just trying to get through it, my personal life is still lol, every year (since like 2 years or so) i hook up with the same guy during a party and we both know it will never be more that but damn the yearner in me always have these bitter thoughts about this situation after it's done but hey that's life right sometimes ig

but other than that thriving and loving life or at least trying to be more positive about it! 🥰

gosh, i hope u had lovely Easter!!! and that ure doing good and the new job is going great!!! i saw that u saw itzy?? that sounds absolutely amazing!! are you doing good? I hope ure eating delicious food and drinking enough water 🥰🥰 and ofc i hope writing is still fun for u babe!!

ily!! only like 2 months left before exams 🤣🤣🤣 the worst part of the student life fr

-beloved anonie, i missed uuuuu

ps IM SO HYPED FOR THE DARK MOON SONGS LET'S GOO HEESEUNG BRAINROT FOREVER

omg hellooo 🩷 i missed you so much 🥺

how are you <33 i'm glad that life is busy in a positive way, but i will manifest your best for uni! time is passing so fast, how far into uni are you now? good luck for your exams but i am sure you will slay them as always, just try your best and be proud of it because you deserve it!!

and what am i hearing about a guy 👀 honestly props to you for even coming that far to hook up with someone, i recently downloaded hinge and it's not not hitting 💀 tbh i think i want to just be in a relationship with all the cute fanfic moments, but i really don't want everything you have to go through in the beginning to get into a relationship 💀 life's tough and unfair with that. but anyways, would you want it to be more with this guy? or should i just send heeseung your way, i'm sure that can be arranged too 🤭

i actually had to work during easter if i remember correctly butttt my new job is really good 🥹 last week was the first time when i actually disliked it (my coworkers had a bad day and that just brought up very unhappy memories from my old job) but it's all good again and i'm having so much fun, i finally get to bake cakes!! and if they're not having a weird day my coworkers are really nice too (and give me lots of praise which is 👀. i am beaming after every compliment). apart from my job i'm doing good too, my mental health, mood and health overall has gotten so much better ever since i switched jobs and finally work normal hours again. and yesterday was the first time since idk when when i could sit down and really enjoy and get invested in a show again, i missed that so much.

i will ignore the drinking enough water part because when have i ever... although i do drink more now since i get it for free and fresh and cold at my job. so yay me i guess 😍 i am eating well though, and yesterday i tried making a cocktail (without alcohol) and it was really good. how about you though?? i talked way too much about me.

buttt writing is more fun than ever again which i am so so happy about, i have so many wips waiting to be finished right now 😶 but it's really fun. AND YES THE COMEBACK!!! they look so good in the promo pics, i can't wait for the release. just one more week!

thank you so much for checking in and saying hi, i missed you 🥺🩷 and i love youuuu

[idolsrpeople2]

(1) May i ask how old are you? Im old, 32, just got into kpop about 4 years ago, i saw you reblog of "old vs kpop makes me happy" and it got me thinking. Im over many kpop aspects, like fandons, fanwars, i dont go to certain blogs anymore, i just stick to e*xo (mostly kd, mostly ji) and tae*yeon, but seeing ji suffer so much this last 3 years, its a constant heartbreaking. I feel part of his pain cause im going though some of the same stuff, so i keep wonder? is that the moment kpop became bad.

(2) right now i just want ji to find happiness or confort or anything that makes they boy breath easily. I remeber him saying he thought this was his year and now this, its hurt my sould deep down, cause i felt the same.. and its been downhill. :( I just hope he has people that really love him and support him and his family. I wish him and his family the time to heal.  

(3) i also know it unfair from my side, but it makes me sad seen x-l being all happy and celebrating members when ji is in pain. it been barely a day. IDK, i know its not fair. sorry to vent, but i´ve been thinking a lot about that since i heard the news… on how unfair life is.   

Hi! First of all, thank you for taking the time to express yourself to me. I’m glad you are older like me because I don’t feel so alone! Let’s just say I’m over 30 too. I’ve been into kpop for 13 years. I guess I never ‘grew out of it’ because it’s a really bright spot in my otherwise unhappy existence. I can see why you would want to avoid certain aspects of kpop, like fandom wars and other types of drama. I do too. I avoid twitter and only follow blogs that don’t stress me out. Of course, you can’t block out all negative things, but you can avoid a lot of it if you’re careful who you follow.

Yes, life is unfair, but we can’t change that. We can only keep on living and try to be compassionate to others. I agree that kpop can be heartbreaking at times, but there is heartbreak in everyone’s life at some point. It’s just something that we, as humans, have to deal with. I’ve seen a lot of bad things happen to idols that I care about, and it’s hard to know they are struggling, especially when you can’t do anything about it. But for the most part, they will get by. This goes for JI too. I feel really bad about the loss of his father, especially since he is so young, but he has family and friends who will be there for him. Unfortunately, he probably won’t get as much time as he needs to grieve, but at least they’re giving him some time off. That’s just the nature of the kpop beast, unfortunately. And often, being busy helps a person keep their mind off of sad or dark thoughts, so it might be an okay thing for him to be working.

As far as other fans going on with their normal lives online, I can understand a little. Each person is different, so for you it may not seem right to keep posting on tumblr/twitter/ig when there is a tragedy. And that’s okay for you. Take a break if you need to. But others may need a distraction, or a way to keep their mind off of sad thoughts. Just because a person keeps going after a sad event doesn’t mean they don’t care. Take me, for example, I tend to be a very unhappy person with dark thoughts. But I’m here every damn day because I can’t think of anything else to do with myself, and don’t have energy or motivation to do anything productive. So, to occupy my mind, and distract myself from unpleasant thoughts, I scroll through tumblr to see pics/gifs/videos of things and people that lift me up. I do this when bad things happen in kpop, and when things are bad in my own life. So I suppose there are others who do it for similar reasons, or just because posting is a habit. And then there are those fans who only like certain members and don’t pay attention to E/O overall, or they’re not really a fan of JI, so they don’t care. That sucks for sure, but we can’t force anyone to care. Just remember that you can’t know all there is to know about a person based on their posts and sns activity. Behind those reblogs could be a person who is thinking of JI often, and hoping he is okay. A person like me.