#im just assuming hes never posed as batman but idk lol so just go with jt

[slimyshield]

all of the batkids have put on the Batman suit. all of them have, at one point or another, thrown on the cowl and the tool belt and headed out on patrol. Dick, obviously, has done it the most, followed by Steph when there's a pinch and Duke if Steph's on a different assignment. Tim prefers not to do it but has been known to, under duress. even Damian has, just once, and nobody knows where that tiny suit came from or what he did with it after Alfred dragged his ass home. all of them have posed as Batman in a time when the city needed them.

except Jason.

Jason never puts on the cowl. this is, to everyone in the cave, self explanatory. his relationship with Bruce is too fraught, and even if it wasn't he still wouldn't want to take up the mantle of Batman, even for one night. the memories it holds are too painful for him. some days he can barely stand to look at it. some days it is a raw, open, festering wound. it hurts, and he should probably be going to therapy.

but Jason also loves to be a little shit. and sometimes being a little shit outweighs what could be strictly considered as good for him. mentally or physically.

so when Bruce wakes up from a medically induced two-day coma after being shot several times to a grainy cell phone video clip of the Batman making a your mom joke, he assumes it's a spoof, a viral video from whatever social media platform dictates kids' humor these days. then, as the news station plays the whole video and he watches himself not only make this your mom joke but cuss out the Joker and Lex Luthor, let out a three-second-long burp, and go on a rant about people blocking the aisles in stores, a rant he knows he has given in the manor to whoever happened to be in the room when he got back from holiday shopping, he realizes it's one of his kids.

the lighting in the video is poor and whoever's holding the phone has done a terrible job of keeping it still, perhaps not wanting to be caught videoing the Batman, so he has no idea which kid it is. needless to say, the discussion he has fifteen minutes later, after he's rounded them all up personally and hauled them down to the cave before Alfred notices he's gone, is not a kind one. the words "responsibility" and "decorum" come up a lot, as well as the phrase "respect the cowl." his kids deny involvement, point fingers at each other, and in all other ways try to absolve themselves of guilt, but he can see it in their eyes that they know who the culprit was. he grounds all of them and takes away dessert privileges.

grounds all of them but Jason. when this unfairness is pointed out in the heat of the moment by Tim, who apparently is on one of what Dick likes to call his "gives no shits" benders, Bruce just pins him with a stare until he shrinks and mumbles, "never mind. sorry." even Duke scoffs at him, just a little. the idea is laughable. there's no way in hell Jason would do this, not even to cause chaos.

Jason watches from the corner, valiantly keeping a straight face. yes, he absolutely would do this if it means causing chaos. his siblings have gotten too comfortable recently. somebody's gotta keep them on their toes.