#im just a lame sausage but i feel like a bad bitch

[wrathoftherandom]

You can pry these sunglasses from my cold, dead hands.

[a-hidden-weeb-an-open-queer]

MHA but it's a wattpad werewolf fanfiction. P1.

As a werewolf wattpad author myself, I am taking the library to mock this strange culture phenomenon.

Warnings: Mentions of abuse and abusive fathers, nothing super graphic. Slut shaming. Possible hints at beasality (???). And no spell checking. Read at your own risk.

----I don't know how to center text lmao---------

A/N: omg guyz!!!!! im so excited to share this story idea ahhhhh but I'm also super nervous please b nice :)))))))) also to all the haters I'm sorry you're peanut butter jealous of me >:}

OoooooooO

Hello, my name is Izuku Midorya! I am a 4'1 greenette with wide beautiful jade orbs and a slim body. Sadly, I'm very ugly :( because I wear glasses and enjoy comics and other geeky things that other people don't.

Today is my first day at ForestWood High school and I'm super nervous. Everyone at my last highschool hated me because I was super ugly and shy.

"Izuku, sweetie, get up you're gonna be late to school!" My mom whispered yelled through my door.

I gasp, my jade eyes blinking open in panic. I had another nightmare about my abusive acholic dad beating me :(

"C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-Ccoming mom." I stuttered.

I slip out of the soft comforters of my bed and quickly made my way to the mirror. My messy, green hair and beautiful jade orbs staring blinking at me. I frown. My ugly freckles are ugly against my super smooth and milky skin. God, I hated how I looked.

"Honey?" My mom whispered yelled again.

My abusive acholic dad used to beat her whenever he spoke higher than a whisper so now her voice is permanently damaged and she can't speak higher than a whisper ever again. Damn him!!!!!!

"Sorry! I'll be down quickly!" I gasped.

I totally forgot it was my first day at ForestWood High school - i hope the other kids don't bully me for my super ugly glasses and totally weird hobbies like reading comics or listening to Panic At The Disco!

I quickly pull on my vans, my best pair of jeans, and the cutest long sleeve shirt I have. It has to be long sleeved cuz my abusive acholic dad left burn scars all over my arms.

I look at myself through the mirror and nod happily - I am still super ugly tho.

"Hmmmm, it feels like I'm missing something....Oh!" I pulled on my glasses, almost forgetting them. Wow I'm such a klutz!

Laughing to myself, I climb down the stairs and find my mommy in the kitchen making breakfast.

"Hi sweetie! I hope you aren't too stressed out about moving in the middle of sophomore year. It's just that we needed a new start after your abusive acholic father was arrested for a DUI." She whisper yells.

I nod. "No I understand mother."

She smiles. "Okay sweetie, so long you are happy. Do you want me to drive you?"

"No thanks" it's so lame to have your mom drive you too school, I think to myself.

My mom lays down a plate full of eggs, bacon, cheese, pancakes, sausage, and beans. I smile and take a piece of toast "thanks for breakfast mom" i say as i run outside.

"You're welcome honey!" She whisper yells back.

OoooooooooooO

Everyone is staring at me as I walk into the door of WoodForest High School. They all stare wide eyed before turning around to gossip to each other.

I nervously look down, clinching the schedule my student console gave me. Already the weirdo :( it must be the Naruto shirt I'm wearing.

Since I was looking down nervously, I didn't see the slut in front of me. I let out a gasp, body falling backwards as my papers are all scattered to the floor.

"Omg I am sooooooooooooo sorry!" I cried out, head snapping upwards.

Across from me sat the slutties person I've ever seen!!! With a skin tight, thigh high dress, super long heels, and a face full of makeup, he looked like a low-end prostitute.

"Omg! You better be sorry! My father just got me these heels! Ugh! Stupid human!!!!!" He said, beautiful blonde hair shining and gray eyes twinkling with anger.

"I-I-Im-" I stuttered.

"Just fucking shut up you stupid fucking whore omfg this is why i wanted Alpha Todorki to fucking kill all the humans and shit but nooooo that was genocide and bad. Ughhuuuy stupid ass fucking bitch." He yells down at me, standing up from the floor.

Around me the whole student body stares, most laughing or throwing in their own insults. Tears fill my jade orbs as I sniffle.

The slut huffs, spinning on his heels as he marches down the hallway. Everyone watches his ass as he goes because damn.

"Oh my god! Are you okay?" A kind and gentle voice calls out. I turn to see a beautiful brownette standing before me and I blush - she's so cute and nice!

"You must be the new guy! Hi! I'm Ochako~ and the person who just rudely left you sitting on the floor is Momoma - he's sorta the Queen Bee around here. And a mythic bitch" (A/N: if you got that reference plsssssssss be my friend 😭)

Ochako helps me pick up the single piece of paper I dropped when I ran into Momoma.

"Wait, how do you know I'm knew?" I ask confused.

Ochako laughs, sounding suspiciously nervous. Weird...

"Uh....its a small town and every one sorta knows every one hahahaha! OH! It looks like you have Mr. Aizawa first period, so do I! He's sorta of a hardass but is also super kind!"

I nod, "okay!" We walk down the hallway together.

"Hey, do you think you can tell me more about this school?" I ask, not wanting to repeat the same thing I rid with MoBitch.

Ochako nods, "sure! Well this school isn't like most because we have two packs right next to each other -" ochako's eyes widen as she looks my way. I am confused. "-I mean! Not packs. No. That's weird. Wolf like. I meant...families. Two different families and we don't like each other and we don't have many outsiders hahahha"

I blink before nodding, "that makes sense. Who are these families?" I asked like a good main protagonist.

Ochako continues with the NPC dialog. "Well first you have the Todorokis - Alpha, i mean, leader Todoroki is a real hard ass. His son is unmated, I mean, is currently not in a relationship. He's weird but nice. Then there are the bakugos. Alpha...leader Bakugo is real nice! I love her cooking but her son is super mean and is a bad boy so stay away from him. He's also single."

I nod as we come up to a science classroom, "thank you."

"Well, here we are! First period of the day! Ready for hell on earth?" She asks me with a wink.

I take her arm in mine, "only if you're ready to talk along side with me."

She laughs, "of course we're best friends after all."

"I've known you for five minutes."

"What?"

"Nothing."

We step into the classroom, arm in arm. I feel ready to face any weirdos or bad boys.

OoooooooooO

A/N: omggggg that was so much fun 2 write and i feel like it was really good. Please comment and like :))))) it makes me happy and I'm very sad :(((((( love you alll!!!!!!! Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxozoozz

[unsocialspecies]

Jeffrey and his dear ol ma and pa find a sleepy little hotel in some small town on theyr way to see cousin randall up north young jeff has been against the trip from the start he says it interferes with his partying and he doesn’t really relate to people who sleep. As his parents drift off and he is left to his thoughts his mind begins to race. He finds the down time unbearable and hes nearly chewed a hole threw his tounge. Suddenly he bolts upright in bed He turns to where his parents are sleeping and yells “yo dad psssst pops where the party at?   what the hell you sleepin for are you a lazy fuckin bum or something??” His father a costumed to jeffs shenanigans calmly retorts back “Son shut your fucking mouth its 1 a.m” Damn … well I tried. Jeff says to himself as he lays back down. Thoughts of hoodrat shit le cigarettes honkey tonks and hangin with blue collar gentlemen and rollin bolo back home streak across his mind he remembers the good times digging through trash staring at radio tower lights all night with ol boy Jr all the lurpage that’s going on back at the trap without him and all the fun hes missing out on. Fuck it he swings out of bed and makes his way to the bathroom “ight pops get to sleep you lazy fuck ill be in the bathroom probably jerkin my gerkin till sunrise Oh  ill try to act surprised when you bust in at 3am to take a piss but no promises after the 4th time it loses its excitement and after the last one remember when I was trying to hit a bolo and slap my sausage at the same time well it just want the same . After that I kinda just put it off as one of those thing that happen Anyway if you ever decide to stop being lame and show some interest in the finer things in this life well you know where to find me I got the firest dope in the whole trailer park this shit will fuuuuuck your whole life it aint dope if it doesn’t make you regret all your life choices take a hit of this and you will come out of your zone 5 years later  you will notice your in an  r.v and theres pictures hanging up of you and a dog eating wedding cake together you are wearing a huge white  dress but whats this .. No it couldn’t be the dog is in a tux and you realize that dog in the picture that dog eating cake with you …That’s now your husband and that’s when it hits you … you realize how good that fucking dope was and your like duuuude im so glad my son let me party with him that night so dad in conclusion come on don’t you wanna have some good friendly fun with crystal meth . Jeffs father has become a bit triggered after hearing another weird fucking story that  probably came about from some fucked  hallucination jeff accidentally filed under reality  Jeffs dad says “Son im not and I never ever will join in on your weird fucked up activities iv seen enough I don’t want to dabble in anymore of your tweakery than I have to”              Well dad that’s on you and if those are the kind of selfish choices you want to make in life then I cant tell you what to do just remember im not mad im just disappointed now give me the wifi password so I can go set up  headquarters and get some videos buffered up its gonna be long night nuts don’t bust themselves it’s a lot of hard work and blood and sweat and tears. Jeff grabs the wifi password and locks himself in the bathroom. AHHHHH bliss I should get paid for this he chuckles to himself before getting down to business first things first he pulls out his pookie and blows the fattest cloud on record. Then its time. He is focused like hes on a mission from god. After he stretches and gets in the zone The suddle slapping of a monkey is the only noise heard throughout the night. Hours pass by but to jeff time is only made up it does not exist in his reality A thump against the door startles him out of focus and breaks the steady pattern of fapping goddamit jeff whispers . the door crashes open as his dad comes in rubs his eyes and realizes whats going on  “oh for god sake  son  your gonna rub your godamn dick off at this rate if you spent as much time collecting pennies off the ground  as you do peddlin on your pecker iv swear Iv become numb to all this shit I ll probably walk in next time and you will be bent over the sink reaching an arm back fingerboppin your asshole what do you wan… Dad …dad jeff interrupts his fathers breakdown to ask an important question  “WHAT???!!! JEFF what is it” uhhhhh I wanted to ask you if it was normal for a shaft to go numb…. Not me though my penis is healthy . Im asking for a friend. jeffs father has a distant stare on his face as he shakes his head slowly back in forth and scratches at his hair “OK YOU WIN JEFF never have I heard of anyone BOMBING THE FUGGIN universe as much as you have in one day every time I think it cant get anymore disappointing you proceed to bypass your previous shame by miles. You are the definition of a terminal illness growing like a godamn tumor. Don’t get up from your throne I wouldn’t wanna come between you and the only true passion iv ever seen you have for anything. Ill just piss outside oh and to let you in on a little something something your mom explained last night her growing dislike towards you its not about the drugs or trannies you brought to grandmas last month its “THAT stupid fucking look on your face  your always making she cant stand it   and if it continues to intrude on her life she will have to take a hammer and bash it until it caves in on itself the bright side is we can go to the Halloween store and pick you out a mask. Think of it like that show where they tear apart those shitty houses and make them look amazing…. But hey maybe it wont come to that just practice in the mirror son try really hard to not look retarded I know just be strong if anything just think about that Halloween mask you will get to wear. Jeff sighs…. Oh my good godamn I see how it is I figured something was fishy but didn’t look into it due to a mix up in differentiating between pychosis and  my incredible intuition. see I pick up on small things that the normal person would never even think about but due to paranoia and sleep deprivation sometimes I just confuse red flags as my own made up dellusion. Ya know whaa….But there was no point explaining the situation to his dad for the old man must of  lost focus and walked off right at the beginning…. Well some people just don’t function  on this high of a brain frequency  almost makes ya feel sorry for em. They cant help being fools. Oh well I got other shit to take care of important stuff . He quickly makes a calculation in his head and decides if he cannot climax by sun up he will go to the doctor but  150 google searches 300 different adult websites and an undetermined number of computer viruses Young jeff finaly got the sweet satisfaction he had set out to find he let out a sigh of relief although it was short lived  because as soon as his heels touched back down on the bathroom floor his legs both cramped and jeff let out a horrific scream as he crumbled to the ground. after dragging the lower half of his body across the bathroom and crawling over into the bathtub he dove deep into his mind body and spirit….. Bingo “ I should just sit next time im whoopin the worm that way my legs don’t get weak and I don’t lose feeling in my lower extremities  next time I bust a nut” suddenly he felt a lot better about things see most people wouldn’t take the time to figure out why life dealt such a hard blow but not jeff he took in every factor anlysed the situation and he aint gonna make the same mistake more than maybe 3 times .  So there he sat waiting for his leg muscles to return to the correct places. Hmmmmm “you like that you like it when people get injured while jerking off as you watch the whole thing and laugh about later with your no good hippie step son”!!!he began pondering the existence of god   he flipped his pecker like some toy from a souvenir shop it helped him think smarter he wondered if even though he had no faith in the holy spirit and was not a believer why it felt so good to talk shit to god  maybe im having a spiritual awakening or just need somebody to blame. Ah maybe I should pray perhaps prayer is just another  method of begging .The man upstairs sounds like the haggling type of son a bitch maybe hes into horse trades. Then jeff did something he aint never done before he bowed his head stopped playing with his damn pecker put his hands together and prayed “Lord I don’t know if your listening but im in some trouble nothing too bad but… just please if you hear this gimme some feeling in my legs back I learned my lesson I heard somewhere theres no choking the chicken in heaven I know it cant be true though because what would heaven be if you couldn’t beat your meat every now and again. Anyway maybe that whole leg cramp thing was a god given sign of some sort but it was totally unnecessary now Iv not been on too good terms with you because back a couple months or so when I lost that portable dvd player under a truck wheel in the driveway and getting crushed. I blamed joe joe bean for the longest time but considering the holy spirit in charge of shit around here is you I figure you’re the sorry son a bitch that put joe joe up to something like that.