#im incapable of being normal abt it I consciously want to minimize uncomfortable and overstimulating situations

[solunecito]

Sometimes the special interest and/or hyperfixation can be SO bad that instead of (re)posting/blogging about it too much you come to the point of not wanting to interact with it until you gain some courage, and that courage means, putting in a picture, like going through a forest of both stinging and exciting feelings, where your brain chemicals are on the surface and receptive AF. No one but you fully understands how much that thing has affected you in a deeply emotional level.

Interacting with it doesn't mean happy chemicals anymore, it can be overwhelming and overstimulating, sensitive to the thoughts of other human beings about it, sensitive to the point where you can actually rage over your intense love/hate relationship with it... Yet you also feel obligated towards it, like you've got to show in some way how much into that thing you are, but the moment that flourishes it breaks into an explosion and you receive surprised and shocked reactions from others, even uncomfortable, at the idea that you are incredibly and passionately into something while consciously not wanting to engage much with it...