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mayakern · 6 months ago

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ive only watched freshman year so idk who these are similar to in FH, but these two are my water genasi nem (short for anemone) and her fire genasi sorcerer wife flare!!

@corful this is gonna be a long one so i hope ur ready to strap in! cuz this campagin got all the way to level 20 🤭

their game started out when the party was just kids! we started at level 0 in our small, quaint town. all the og party members were childhood friends. nem was originally a very shy and sweet and bookish girl and all her friends called her nemi. her friends were leah (aasimar cleric), renevoire (tiefling storm sorcerer) and george (half-orc pugilist). bc we were level 0 our characters didn’t actually have real classes but that’s what they eventually grew up to become.

the group was soon joined by ixen, a young kobold spore druid. this art is by my bff @scookart bc i cannot find my art of baby ixen bc this part of the campaign happened in like 2019

im gonna add a cut here so this post isnt one million miles long on y’alls dashes lol

a lot of stuff happened. we delved into hidden ancient temples and gained extra-planar powers. we defeated a shadow monster that destroyed our home and killed a bunch of our friends and family and had to make a deal to warp time and set things “right”—our dead loved ones could come back, but only if we, the party, agreed to leave forever and never come back together as a group.

nem left for wizard las vegas, where she was immediately accepted into wizard school as a promising young mage. there, she met flare, who was kind of too cool for school and nicknamed nem “soggy boots.” some shenanigans happened and they started hanging out, partially because their teacher thought they each had what the other lacked (nem was very precise and studious but struggled to customize her spells to herself, flare had a knack for making her magic her own but lacked nem’s work ethic and control).

tldr bc a lot happened here, but nem helped flare sort out a problem with one of her friends and in doing so, the two kids got mixed up in some illegal magic and became fugitives, their citizenship revoked, and essentially became wanted criminals despite being like 12. bc of this, they fall into a life of crime. mechanically speaking, this is why by the end of the campaign nem was a level 2 divination wizard and a level 18 arcane trickster rogue. this also causes nem’s personality to do a 180. she goes from sweet and shy to jaded, gruff, and untrusting.

over the next 10 years, flare ends up quickly climbing the ranks of their thieves guild on a more administrative/leadership track while nem does the actual physical thievery. during this time, they also start dating. the vibes have been there from the start but they really take off around the time nem is 15.

they get an apartment together with a roof terrace and things are pretty good, tho nem doesn’t really enjoy being in the thieve’s guild. she doesn’t really like doing crime for a living and she struggles to be truly vulnerable around anyone, including flare, because she feels like at any moment that shadow monster, who managed to survive, could come back and rip her out of her life again.

and that’s exactly what happens after nem turns 21. she gets a job to steal some magical artifact in another city and the thing has weird vibes from the get go. nem and flare have traveled there together so flare can do her shmoozing and get more intel. nem receives a note that absolutely REEKS of shadow monster shenanigans and she decides to basically ghost flare and leave quietly in the night, leaving nothing more than a note that strongly warns flare not to go after her or to continue looking into this. she justifies this to herself by saying it’s better if flare doesn’t get involved and she knew that nothing in her life was guaranteed to be permanent, but really she did it because she was terrified of actually being vulnerable.

lo and behold! the shadow guy was involved. he’s in the material plane for good now and he called the original friend group back together to fight a bigger, badder evil. the rich guy from our small home town has found a way to merge with shadow beings and is using the impending confluence of the planes (think like an interplanar eclipse) to bridge the gap from the shadow plane to the material one so he can swallow it in shadows and rule eternal. so that’s bad.

the original shadow guy has been greatly weakened. his name is ammen and he’s also stuck in the material plane now in a human body and is having to learn in real time what having a body means. including having to poop. there’s a lot of shenanigans. he basically becomes a glorified and inept babysitter for a group of orphans the party rescued.

the party’s reunion is sweet and sad and also hella awkward. for the most part, everyone just grew up but their core personalities are the same. except for nem. no one really knows what to do about how weird and unsocial she’s become. when they ask about her job and why she’s become so fast, she says she’s a marathon runner. this becomes a running gag where all members of thieves guilds use sports, usually marathon running, as a cover for their work. rennevoire has become a ghost hunter. george has become a pit fighter. leah has been doing justicy-y things. ixen has been traveling the world doing archeology for fun. when the party reunites, george takes on a persona as a country music star, hannah montana style, named georgianna grande. rennevoire becomes her manager and basically starts a country music record empire/pyramid scheme.

(they’re all in separate images so i dont want to paste them in, but you can see the grown up party here)

lots of shenanigans happen. we go to different planes. each member of the party has a different plane associated with them and gains powers related to that. but you’re here for nem and flare!

flare shows back up in the city nem and the group are in and nem is sweating bullets. but flare is… weird. nem goes to talk with her and flare attacks her/the party! turns out it was a changeling in disguise. and in fact he is the dad of that kid nem and flare tried to help as kids, the situation that made them fugitives in the first place. that kid is still in a coma and has been all these years (their attempt to help him as kids failed miserably) and now his dad has basically gone crazy obsessed spending his whole life trying to get his kid back.

shenanigans ensue and the gang travels to wizard las vegas. turns out there’s like a sneeple curse going on that’s trapped the kid’s consciousness in another plane (a sneeple plane) and now flare is trapped there too. they’re both in comas. nem is distraught. she is usually very careful, but she starts getting reckless and making stupid mistakes bc she is so overcome with emotion. she visits their apartment and flare adopted a MAGICAL PUPPY while nem was gone. nem is absolutely horrified. she’s never taken care of an animal before.

eventually they manage to rescue flare and nico (the changeling kid who is no longer a kid). nem and flare have a heart-to-heart about their relationship, their fears, etc. nem is finally fully vulnerable with flare about how scared she was and how she was trying to protect both flare and her own feelings by leaving. they eventually get make up and get engaged. they try to elope quietly, mostly bc of nem’s avoidant personality issues, but the party catches on and gets mad so they do end up having a wedding, albeit a rather rushed one.

flare and nem go on a brief pocket dimension honeymoon where they basically just bang it out for a solid week, while only a day or so passes in the real world. they also spend 1000 gold on magical sex toys. i said this offhand as a joke bc at that point the party had like 50k and nem personally had like 10k, but my dm actually made them a "long distance relationship starter kit." (click the link to see the item, warning for nsfw content)

after this there’s more shenanigans. things are getting dire with the state of the world and the impending interplanar eclipse. eventually the party manages to find a way to circumvent the threatening apocalypse but in order to do so, they will have to turn back time to before the evil rich guy merged his soul with a shadow being. that means going back to when they were 10, to before flare and nem ever met. meaning flare will not remember her. nem is, understandably, crushed. previously when confronted with situations where nem could gain power if she sacrificed anything related to flare, even in symbolic situations that would have no real world ramifications, she has 100% refused. this is basically the worst possible choice for her. she cries a lot. talks with flare. comes up with a plan and the determination she needs to Do The Right Thing.

so the party have a final confrontation with the BBEG and it is during this fight, while he is distracted, that they turn back time. so as the fight progresses, they all become younger and younger, and they lose their powers (ie they level down), until they’re back to being kids and the BBEG is just a human and they can kill him before he becomes a problem.

the party is no longer forbidden from staying together/staying with their families. but nem still has a mission. she returns to wizard las vegas. she finds flare. she tells flare what her adult self told nem to say to her child self—information flare had never told anyone else, even in her adult years—and the two were able to reunite again and start fresh, and this time not as fugitives.

i think in this new version of the world, nem either goes full wizard or goes wizard 18 / rogue 2. i’ve tried to draw what i think wizard nem would look like but i just haven’t liked any of my attempts. idk maybe i’ll try again soon some times.

anyway i love my girls and i hope you’ve enjoyed this Very Long Post about them

u can find more art of them on my toyhouse

their campaign ended over a year ago but i’m still obsessed w them….

don’t think i’ll ever be over these two and their big stupid gay wedding that they got to have TWICE thanks to time travel shenanigans 😭

#reblog #oc #anemone #dnd #long post

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drowsydregon · 2 years ago

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i got yuuki reprinted !!

and she hath been reunited with her sister 👀

#ninjago #ninjago oc #lego #my ocs #oc: yuuki #yuuki mitsukaru #oc: mei #mei mitsukaru #my customs #hi yes i am alive just on haitus bc of work. mental health. and irl nonsense #im hoping to get back on track soon. and get some more customs and art going #some customs may end up for sale so be sure to keep an eye on that 👀

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nekojitachan · 7 years ago

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Im sorry i feel like im bugging you with all these messages all the time, i know i suck. But please consider stuart meeting andrew in the Clouds universe 😍😍😍 omg he would flip, no one touches his nephew

Aww, never fear in that regard. :)

And here you go! Clouds universe, Andrew and Stuart meeting up! As previously stated, this is a fic I want to ‘flesh out’ more once RP is finished, so there will be more backfill on Neil and Andrew’s relationship at some point, but this will shed light on some things for people and yes, be that Stuart&Andrew interaction.

Just some vague past mention/rough summaries of Neil and Andrew’s childhoods (more Neil than Andrew).

*******

Andrew sipped his coffee while a middle-aged man in a plainblue sweatshirt and a cap pulled so far down his brow he kept having to tilthis head back to see shuffled back and forth in front of the counter while Neilfetched one of those parcels for himand nearly forgot to take his coffee with him. Andrew exchanged a look withhis… his boyfriend (that still took some getting used to), where Neil gave hima slight smile and a shrug before he resumed cleaning the counter.

Andrew worked a little more on yet another essay for his onehistory class while Neil dealt with two older ladies who had apparentlystumbled onto The Bolt-Hole in their wanderings that day and might becomeregulars judging from the pleased noises they made over their tea and desserts.Still, they weren’t too loud or bothersome and Andrew supposed the place neededcustomers other than him to keep up some air of legitimacy – that and theydidn’t stay too long.

Neil cleaned their table then came over to his with thatslight smile on his face and a new cup of mocha in his hands. “Almost finishedwith your homework?” he asked while he set the mug down by Andrew’s laptop andpicked up the empty one.

“Just another page, so I’ll be done by the time you closeup,” Andrew said, which made the smile strengthen. Giving in to impulse, hehooked a finger into one of the straps of Neil’s black apron and tugged himcloser. “Yes?”

“Yes,” Neil said without any hesitation as he leaned in alittle closer for a kiss that was little more than a press of lips, not whenthey were in a shop where anyone could walk in at a given moment.

Still, there was Neil inviting Andrew back to his apartment mostweekends and nights to sit and talk, to cook meals together (Andrew had workedin a restaurant in Charleston, Neil knew the basics after living alone) andventure out a little (Stirling for Andrew’s class, a couple of the local parksjust to walk around).

To slowly map out something between them, to deal with theirvarious issues; Neil accepted Andrew’s need for borders, for consent, in a waythat made Andrew wonder if he was real at times (and want to track down hisparents and everyone else who hurt him at others). It hadn’t gone far beyondkissing and his hands beneath Neil’s shirt yet, but it was enough to make himkeep bringing up the link about registering full time at the University ofManchester, just like Professor Anton had been arguing for him to do the lastcouple of months.

It wasn’t like Aaron didn’t have a life of his own now.

He’d gotten through half a page more (and Neil had droppedoff a brownie for him, complete with whipped cream and a wink) when his phonerang, which was a rare occurrence. He almost ignored it when he saw the callerbefore he figured he might as well get it over with. “Go away,” he told hiscousin.

“Aw come on, is that the way you greet someone you adore?”Neil wailed, ever the dramatic bastard.

“Yes, and I don’t adore you.”

“You know you do,” Nicky grumbled. “So… how are thingsgoing? I assume since you’re not coming for a visit that you and your sweetieare doing well?” He sounded hopeful for some reason, which Andrew toleratedsince he wasn’t whining about him coming to Cologne for a weekend anymore.

Andrew glanced over at Neil, who was busy mopping the floorin preparation of the coffee shop closing for the weekend; Neil seemed tonotice the attention and glanced up at him, his dark-dyed hair falling onto hisridiculously big eyes and a tentative smile on his face. “They’re going,” wasall he said as that damn fluttering sensation filled his chest.

“Andrew….” Nicky sounded exasperated for a moment and thenhe chuckled. “Okay, I’m going to take that as a ‘good’ because I know you. Am Iever going to get the chance to meet him? Erik and I can come visit for-“

“No.” Andrew didn’tmean for it to come out that harsh, enough for Neil to give him a worried lookor for Nicky to go silent on the other end. “I… let me talk to him,” he said ashe fumbled for his cigarettes, well aware of everything Nicky had done for him– him and Aaron. “Don’t pull your surprise shit, okay?” He didn’t want Nickyand Erik to just show up out of the blue and freak Neil out, especially withhow extreme Nicky could be.

“All right.” Nicky sounded happy again. “I promise, no ninjaattacks on you and your sweetie! Just let us know when we can finally meet thisprecious unicorn who-“

“Nicky, shut up,” Andrew told his cousin. “And don’t ever call him that again – any of those things. Now leave me alone,I’m busy.” He hung up and put his phone on silent.

Neil was quiet until he came over to Andrew’s table. “Whatdoes Nicky want?” He’d heard Andrew’s story about his cousin, about Nickystepping in to keep him and Aaron out of Luther’s hands, about what Nicky’sfather had done to him and how Nicky now lived in Germany with Erik.

“To meet you,” Andrew admitted, curious to see how Neilwould react to that. “I told him I’d talk to you first.” They’d only been… whatever was between them, it had onlybeen a few weeks.

“Oh.” Neil chewed on his bottom lip for a moment while he heldon to the mop with both hands then shrugged. “It would be nice? I mean, to meetsomeone related to you who’s talkative?” There was a hint of a smile on hislips as he resumed cleaning the floor. “What a concept.”

“No tip for you,” Andrew called out as he felt an oddtension leave him which he hadn’t realized had been there until Neil hadanswered about Nicky.

“I’m heartbroken. Finish your essay so we can head to theArt Gallery once I close up.”

Andrew pretended to flick ash on the clean floor and got arude gesture in return, then focused on finishing his essay; their plans thatafternoon were to drop his things at Neil’s apartment and feed Pita, then hitthe Manchester Art Gallery for a couple of hours and pick up something to eatbefore returning to the apartment.

He’d never thought he’d look forward to sleeping on a couchand dealing with a possessive demon of a cat, but such things happened when animpossible pipedream of a young man stumbled into one’s life, he supposed. Animprobable, gorgeous young man busy boxing up some brownies and chocolate cakeAndrew liked so he could enjoy them later that weekend.

Perhaps this was all one big joke on his part, one big ‘fuckyou’ where he ended up with hyperglycemia and thirty pounds heavier when hereturned to the States, along with irrefutable proof that he was meant to bealone for the rest of his life.

“Uhm, did you want the torte as well? I know you like it butyou keep complaining about having to work out because of your trousers beingtight.”

Then Neil did that thing where he seemed to read Andrew’smind and Andrew pulled up the damn link again, along with Anton’s office hours….

“No torte,” Andrew told him as he drafted an email to Antonabout meeting on Tuesday.

“Okay.”

Andrew hit ‘send’ before he could second-guess himself then shutdown his laptop so he could pack everything into his backpack; Bren should bethere soon to take them to Neil’s apartment. Everything was put away and he wasdebating another cigarette when the door opened to admit Neil’s chauffer/minder…along with an older man whom Andrew had never seen.

Bren didn’t appear happy for some reason, which immediatelyput Andrew on edge, while the stranger appeared in a bad mood. Yet Neil smiledas he came around the counter, hands busy pulling off his apron. “Uncle Stuart!You didn’t tell me you’d be in town.”

So that was Neil’s ‘Uncle Stuart’ – a middle-aged man just alittle taller than Neil with a slender build as well (though more compact thanleggy runner), pale grey eyes and blond hair touched with grey. Andrew caught asimilar feature here and there – the full bottom lips, the straight eyebrows,the long, slender fingers – but the main resemblance was the lack of height, leanness…and keen intelligence, judging from how ‘Stuart’ kept glancing around in-betweenstudying Neil.

“Had some business in the area so I figured I’d stop by tocheck in on you, kiddo,” he said as he gave his nephew a hug; Neil hesitatedonly a moment in returning it, but Andrew had the impression that it was more acase of his friend being unused to such gestures and not that Stuart botheredhim. “I hear you’re doing a good job and the classes are going well.”

“I’m trying,” Neil said as he hung his head, never one toput himself forward; something seemed to occur to him as he glanced around thequiet coffee shop. “Uhm… do you want something? I can-“

“I’m just stopping by, but you can run to the store and fetchme some smokes, yeah?” He held out a folded bill to Neil. “You know what brand.Bren will go with you.”

Andrew had a feeling he knew why Neil’s uncle had decided to‘stop by’, which was soon confirmed. “Ah, okay.” Neil looked over his uncle’sshoulder at Andrew. “We’ll be right-“

“Just you and Bren,”Stuart insisted. “Me and your friend will wait here.”

Neil was quiet at that while Bren shifted back and forth inobvious discomfort. “Uncle… I don’t… that’s-“

Stuart shoved the money at Neil and clicked his tongue. “He’llbe fine, I promise. Go get the smokes and come right back, Bren tells me youhave a date tonight.” His face twisted at the last two words as if he foundthem distasteful to say.

Neil studied his uncle for a couple of seconds before hesighed. “You promise, right?”

“Yes.” Stuart glanced upward as if beseeching patience for amoment before his expression softened. “I won’t do too much damage.”

“Okay, that’s not helping,” Bren said in a rush as hemotioned for Neil to join him. “He’s just gonna talk, all right? It’s a talk thing, so let’s get going.”

Neil didn’t appear convinced by the two men as he glanced atAndrew again, who gave him a slight nod to show that it was okay; only then didhe pocket the money and leave the shop with Bren. As soon his friend(boyfriend) was gone, Andrew shook out a cigarette and lit it while he stareddown Stuart Hatford.

The man didn’t look all that impressed as he leaned againstthe counter with his arms folded over his chest, dressed in an expensive greysuit as if he was some legitimate businessman. “Andrew Minyard, twenty-oneyears old, criminology major. Born in California and put into the childcaresystem by one Tilda Minyard, nee Hemmick. You bounced around various fosterhomes until you were thirteen and spent three years in juvie for destruction ofproperty and petty larceny, until remanded into your mother’s custody in SouthCarolina.” Stuart didn’t sound pleased as he recounted the ‘highlights’ ofAndrew’s life, his expression flat and eyes sharp as if he waited to provokesome sort of reaction. “When she died less than a year later in a car crash youmanaged to survive, your cousin Nicholas Hemmick assumed custody. Then you and yourtwin brother got scholarships to Palmetto State University, and you end uphere, in Manchester, for a year studying abroad. You, a troublemaker with apast and nothing to your name, end up here,dating my nephew. I’m not happy about that.”

Andrew flicked ash into the small tray on the table. “Really?I couldn’t tell, not when you show up and chase Neil away to talk to me, do thewhole ‘I looked into you’ spiel and everything. What’s next? Threaten to breakmy kneecaps if I don’t leave him alone?” How terribly cliché.

Stuart stared at him for a couple of seconds then snorted ashe pulled out a pack of cigarettes of his own – a full pack, Andrew noted. “Okay,you don’t scare easily. Bren did try to tell me that about you.”

How nice to know; Andrew thought that he got along with thebodyguard and that there weren’t any problems between them. “No, I don’t, especiallynot over anything ridiculous like this.” There was nothing in his past thatStuart could throw at him to scare him off – he’d lived through it after all, bore its scars and dealt with itsnightmares all of the time.

“Ridiculous?” Stuart pushed away from the counter andglared. “This isn’t a joke, you little prick. Has Abr- has Neil said anythingabout his mother to you?”

“Yes, he has,” Andrew gritted out as he smashed his cigaretteinto the tray while a rare spark of anger burned in his chest; he’d caught thestart of Neil’s middle name, the name he’d confessed to Andrew just a week agoas they’d lay on his bed. It had been late at night and Andrew hadn’t wanted togo lie down alone on the couch nor had Neil wanted him to leave just yet, andthey’d been talking about random things that had entered their heads (had triedto find something not too painful for once). Neil told him about how his motherwould call him ‘Abram’, the one constant name among all the aliases, the middlename she’d given him, the name she(and he) didn’t hate.

But Andrew didn’t reveal that he knew about it, didn’tbetray Neil’s trust just because his uncle was being an asshole. “I know shemarried an abusive bastard and ran away with Neil because he was beating theshit out of both of them, and you’re helping him now that she’s dead.” Therewas more to it than that, bits and pieces Neil revealed in trickles as theygrew closer, as the trust strengthened between then, but again, Andrew wasn’tgoing to say anything more just because Neil’s uncle was being overprotectivefor no good reason.

Still, he could tell it was more than Stuart had expected. “Thenyou should realize he doesn’t need some punk in his life who’s just looking fora pretty face to enjoy while he’s overseas for a few months.”

Andrew found himself on his feet before he realized that heintended to move and had to force himself to keep his palms flat on the table;he knew that Bren was armed and he was willing to bet that Stuart was, too, andthat Neil would be more than upset if he came back and found his unclebleeding. “If you think Neil would allow himself to be used like that, you’re afucking imbecile and have no clue at all about your nephew.”

Stuart had twitched at his sudden movement and dropped hisarms to his sides, his gaze intent as he watched Andrew. “What, nothing to sayfor yourself?”

“Why? You’re not going to believe a word I say,” Andrewargued. “You don’t know me, but you should damn well know Neil.”

“Huhn.” Stuart went to drop the cigarette held between hisright fingers then seemed to think better of it; he inhaled deeply from it whilehe regarded Andrew for several seconds. “I don’t like you.”

“I don’t care.”

Stuart’s eyes narrowed at that. “I’m not going to let anyonehurt Neil, including some Yank who’s just fooling around with him to pass thetime. If you do more than that? Broken kneecaps will be the least of yourtroubles.”

Andrew put his cigarettes away while he held the bastard’sgaze. “Get used to me, I’m not going anywhere.”

“Right, you’re headed back to the States in June,” Stuartsaid with a smile. “About two months now. Such a shame to see you go.”

All Andrew did was stare back until Stuart’s expression grewuncertain. It was quiet between them for over a minute. “I’m serious, if youhurt him, I will hurt you,” Stuart said in a low, menacingmanner.

Andrew continued to gaze back at him without any concern.

Stuart had taken to muttering beneath his breath (somethingabout cocky Yanks) when Neil and Bren (the latter panting as if he’d been forcedto run) burst into the shop. “I got them!” Neil waved the pack of cigarettes inthe air as he glanced around, his dark eyes quick to latch on to Andrew. Hisshoulders slumped in relief and he all but threw the cigarettes at his uncle. “Uhm…everything all right?”

Stuart grunted as he caught the flimsy excuse to get hisnephew out of the coffee shop for the damn shovel talk, or whatever the hell ithad been. “Yeah, thanks.” He shoved the pack into the left pocket of his coatand reached out to tousle Neil’s disheveled hair. “I better get going, but I’llbe back this way on Monday. How about dinner then?”

“All right,” Neil agreed, probably because Andrew was busywith stuff on campus that night. “Let me know when you’ll be by.”

“I’ll do that.” Stuart nodded to a still flushed Bren on hisway out and ignored Andrew, which was fine. As soon as he was gone, Neilhurried over to Andrew’s side.

“Are you all okay? What did he do? Nothing bad, right?” The wordscame out in a rush and Neil’s hands flitted through the air as if he wanted totouch Andrew in reassurance but wouldn’t.

“I’m fine,” Andrew reassured his boyfriend (still weird),reaching out to slide his right hand around the back of Neil’s neck to settlehim. “In a rather fucked up way, he’s just looking out for you.”

“By talking to you alone?” Neil appeared confused by that,but then again, he hadn’t been involved with anyone before Andrew so there’dbeen no need for Stuart to do his ‘don’t hurt my nephew’ routine before, hadthere? “All right.”

“Ah, he’s just… uhm, making sure Andrew’s on the up and up,”Bren said as he wiped at his sweaty brow. “I’ll go turn off everything in theback, okay?”

“Okay.” Neil frowned at his friend’s departing back beforehe looked at Andrew. “Why would Stuart do that? I’m the one going out with you and I don’t have a problem withthings.”

Andrew tugged Neil a little closer. “He’s watching out for you,or thinks that he’s watching out for you.”

Neil’s brows drew together for a moment and then he smiled. “Oh,like-“ He seemed to catch himself, leaving Andrew to wonder what he’d beenabout to say. “He doesn’t have to worry, not about you.”

“You sound so certain.” Andrew wasn’t sure he liked that; hehad no intention of hurting Neil, in playing him false, but there were no surethings in life. He wasn’t used to people thinking that he was a sure thing in life.

Once again he was graced with a shy, sweet smile which madehis heart do ridiculous things. “About you? Yes.”

“Don’t be an idiot,” Andrew muttered, yet he tugged Neileven closer and felt his traitorous heart race when the fool murmured ‘yes’ tohim before their lips met.

He hoped that Bren took his time turning off the lights.

*******

I think that’s it for the prompts tonight, things got busy this weekend. But RP22 should be out next Sunday!

Buy me a coffee

#nekojitachanfics #prompt fic #clouds fic #andreil

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dougmeet · 4 years ago

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Time! Let's log off, Becky, and get out of here. Hey, I got eight hits on that last batch of "help wanted" ads. I was right in the middle of chatting with Stuart, the clown from Pittsburg who thinks we're going to get married. Did he get that check you sent him last week to help with the wedding expenses? Yeah. Just give it a few days, let the money show up in his account, and Bam! I'll get him to send it right back to me. You know, I'll make up some emergency expense that suddenly came up that I had to cover. Fool won't know what hit him. What did you tell this one? Oh, this one? I told him that I am putting myself through nursing school, modeling underwear for catalogues. That one's almost too easy. The guy probably had never had a real date in his life. Yeah, but he's still going to wonder why I bailed on him in the chat. You know the rules. Never stay wired for more than thirty minutes. I've already sniffed another open network near the motel. We can log on there later and finish up. OK, but I still want to call him. I don't want him to start getting suspicious or something before I've hit him up for the green. But use the prepaid phone and keep it short. I don't want him to have anything to connect back to us. Chill, Abs. I know the drill. Well don't screw up. I'm like Paris baby. Orange ain't my color. So, who are you supposed to be today, Niece? I'm a sixty-three-year-old woman named Brenda, recently retired from school teaching, and I've settled in New Mexico. Yeah? I can see that. You already got the divorce and the cat. That could totally be you in about thirty years. That's cute, Lang. I wonder what that says about you, though. You play better females than I do. She's got a point, Howie. Remember that mope from Nigeria last month? I think he was in love with you. Any leads on our "work at home" scams out west? Yeah. There's several new job listings on one of the resume websites this morning. It's the usual pitch. "Wanted: international company seeks payment processor." These guys claim they're from Ireland, and they need someone to process payments to avoid making customs fees. You thinking it's our "coffee shop bandits?" Fits their "M.O." The "coffee shop bandits"….that's what we've been calling them for weeks now. We've tracked them to a series of coffee shops, hotels, laundromats, and other locations in the Southwest. They use public wi-fi hotspots to connect to the internet wirelessly. Their scams cover a whole range of internet fraud with one common link - they all depend on counterfeit checks and money orders. The payment processing clerk con is one of their favorites. They target people who want or need to work from home - retirees, single moms with kids, even people with disabilities. Once the person accepts the job as a payment processor, they're asked to open a checking account for the overseas business. In a few days a series of checks arrive from their customers. The new employee is told to deposit these checks, and once they've cleared, to wire ninety percent of the money to their employer. The clerk is told they can keep ten percent of the payments as their salary. When they check their available balance, the money is there. But actually it can take weeks for a check to clear or be discovered as counterfeit. But the ATM said that the funds were available. Yes, it did. At the time it was in there but in five or six days… If the person withdraws money during this period, then they become responsible for covering the bank's loss. But I've spent some of the money… We've seen victims lose tens of thousands of dollars on this type of scam. This job posting is nearly identical to the one we saw last week. Hey, if it's working, why change? There are thousands of new people who look at these "help wanted" postings every day. Where did you tell him you lived? Truth or Consequences. Priceless. OK, so what else we got on these guys, Derek? Well, first of all, they're not guys. Remember that last trace that we ran? An inspector went to the scene. Ran into a dead end. They got their room with a stolen credit card…fake names on the registration. But he spotted an ATM across the street, and we managed to get these photos. But these photos, they don't give us a whole lot to go on. You underestimate me. Another phone was used at three of the bandit’s locations. And this phone, it's not a prepaid cell phone. It's registered to a Becky Meyers of Key Largo, Florida. NCIC says she got a list of arrests for all kinds of petty stuff - everything from shoplifting to bad checks. OK, I'm impressed. Any idea who her friend is, Sherlock? Hey, man, I had to leave something for you guys to do, right? You're not calling one of the punks on that phone, are you? No, dope. I'm calling Mikey. I need to get some refills on those checks. Your boyfriend gives me the creeps. Whatever. You don't like any of my men. Besides, he's better than anybody we know with Photoshop. Look how legit these things look. I told you to stop flashing those! You're going to blow this whole deal! I'm going to blow this whole deal? There wouldn't be a deal if it wasn't for me! This sweet ride…my deal! Hardly! You and your boyfriend would still be passing bad checks for beer money at the Piggly Wiggly if it wasn't for me! Still, you've got to admit, Mikey's got good hands…and mad skills on that printer. So what did you turn up on Becky Meyers? Hey, I'll check you a little later. Thanks. According to her parole officer, her printer is a local loser named Michael Friedman. They've been an item since high school. He spends most of his time playing those multi-player games online, printing counterfeit checks, just as a way for him to keep the lights on. So who's playing "Thelma" to her "Louise?" Our best bet is another high school friend, Abbey Seals. She was a computer science major at FSU until she dropped out last year. Miami cops busted her on a DUI a few months back, Becky Meyers in the car. Almost violated her parole, but the judge cut her a break. So this Abbey Seals may have helped take their bad check racket high-tech? Looks like it. Trouble is, her PO says she's skipped. Hasn't check in in three months. That fits the timeline to our scams. But we stills can't actually connect them to any of the frauds, or any of the victims' wire transfers. Which brings us back to Brenda, from Truth or Consequences. Alright, do it. I'm on it. Oh, damn it! Stupid freaking woman! God! What is it? It's that woman from New Mexico, the teacher. Now she can't figure out how to send a simple wire transfer. She deposited those checks like two weeks ago. If she doesn't send the money soon, the bank's going to tip her off, and the whole thing is going to fall apart. How can one woman be so dense? Did she email you? No, we're chatting on IM. Oh wait, get this. She didn’t trust the guy at the wire service. Good god! Stupid broad took the money out in cash! Well, how much? Ninety percent. Almost thirty thousand dollars. You're kidding. Now what? Well, she's wants to meet in person so she can deliver it. Doesn't she think the company is located in Ireland? Yes, but remember? She thinks we have an office in Forth Worth. Yeah, OK, OK. No way in hell do we ever meet anyone in person. That's the rule, remember? Yes. Well we have to think of something else. Are you kidding me? Stupid hag could barely open the account. She's never going to brainstorm a wire transfer. And besides, the bank is going to call her any day now and tip her off. The money's going to walk. Then it walks. We never meet anyone in person. Time! What? Bull! Log off. No, No! What am I going to tell her? Come on. It's thirty grand! Tell her you'll call her later. Now log off, Becky. I mean it! They just logged off. She said she was going to call me on the phone. Do you think they bought it? I don't know. They've been playing it really safe. They might now be willing to risk a meeting in person. We better hope that they're getting greedy. If they keep using these web-based email services to open networks, limiting their access time, we're never going to be able to connect them to any of these "work at home" scams. Come on. Yeah. UC phone. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Caller ID says, "unknown." It's her. Yeah, trace that call. OK? Go. Hello? Hi there, Brenda? Oh, hello, dear. Hey listen, I was thinking that you really shouldn't come all the way to Forth Worth, especially carrying all that cash on you. We're concerned about our liability, because our insurance wouldn't cover it if anything happened to you. Oh, I just don't trust those wire services, dear. My father tried to wire money to my Uncle Benjamin once when he was having twin girls. And he tried to wire it to Tulsa, Oklahoma, but it went to another Benjamin in Kansas City. They didn't even have the same last name. Kansas City is nowhere near Tulsa. Yeah, I know where Tulsa is, Brenda. Hey, listen, my partner and I, we're going to be in your area. We're going to be looking at some land that we're considering. Why don't you at least let us meet you halfway there, you know, to save you some trouble. Oh, it's no problem, dear, to drive to Fort Worth. I have a half sister in Irving. I've been dying to see her miniatures collection. No, no, no, Brenda, really, I insist. Listen, Friday, let's meet at… You know what? Why don't we meet at Alamogordo. Do you know where Alamogordo is? Oh, certainly, dear. Everyone knows where Alamogordo is. That's where they tested the first atomic bombs in the 1940's. It was part of the Manhattan Project. That's a funny name, actually, as it was here in New Mexico and nowhere near New York. Well, that was really fascinating, Brenda. Well, listen, OK, Friday it is. I'll call you on your cell phone when we get there, like right around lunchtime. Of course, I'll bring you a receipt. Alright, well listen, Friday it is. I've got to go, Brenda. OK? Alright. Bye bye. Harmless. We'll meet her in the middle of nowhere, in and out, ten minutes, we're done. Less if I could get her to shut up for five seconds. Cake. I still don't like it. What if she's a cop? I swear, you must think I'm mental. Listen, I'll go in there, and I'll talk to her. You wait, out in the car. If something smells funny, we'll walk. Can't tie us to the phone calls, or the checks. Thank you. Did you get it? Yep. It's the same signature as the phone used to call the other victims. I'd like to see their lawyer explain that one. We're still going to need them to show up for the transfer in order to pick them up. I mean, by the time they do this trace, they could be a hundred miles from here. No problem, we'll pick them up on Friday. Aren't you kind of forgetting something? What? They're expecting a sixty-three-year-old named Brenda. It's after one. Look sharp, everyone. Possible suspect vehicle - white Ford Mustang, late model. We couldn't make the tags off the ATM photo. Location two, clear. Niece, they called you again? No, it's been forty-five minutes. She said they were running late. They'll be here. Our suspect is approaching, east side of the street. No sign of her partner. Bingo. Becky, dear. Brenda, I wasn't sure that was you. Sorry we're running late. It took a little longer to tour the property. Oh, that's fine, dear. I've just been sitting here enjoying my tea, and reading up on the history of this wonderful little town. Did you know that Robert Oppenheimer was almost convicted of being a traitor and a spy? Can you imagine? You look a lot younger than I expected. Oh, you're sweet, dear. OK, OK, Thelma's getting nervous. I don't think she's buying Niece's makeup. Find Louise, fast! I got her. She's parked just down from the war wagon - white Mustang in that alley. I'm on it, Lang. Watch my back. Everyone else cover Niece. Wait for my signal. I have the money right here. I put it in this bag. I didn't want to attract attention, you know. It's under my needle point. No, that's OK, Granny. You keep it. I'm giving you a raise. Federal Agent! You're under arrest! No! No, no, no! This is complete crap! It didn't touch that money. Police! Police! Freeze! Hands up! Hands up! Clear the door, folks, please clear the door. Thank you. Listen, everybody, thanks for your help. I need everybody outside. There's nothing else to see here. Thank you very much. Get up. Howie, she's all yours. Have a nice day. Did you have any trouble with her friend? Nah. She's already trying to pin the entire scam on Becky and her boyfriend. Yeah, she didn't take the bait. She's got several phony checks in her purse. Well, we're still going through the car, but so far, we've got lots of fake checks, prepaid cell phones, and your little friend Derek is going to have a field day with the laptops. Oh yeah, we got a whole lot of love letters from Mikey the printer. Can't wait to send in the Miami team. Did you recover any of the victims' moneys? Not a whole lot. About eight grand on them. Whole lot of neat toys and shwag from the shopping sprees though. Yeah, well at least they're off the street. Yeah, this time they're all looking at ten to twenty for mail fraud. You know, I've got to tell you. You look…ridiculous. I told you you weren't going to pass for sixty-three. What's the matter with you? Thanks to some solid police work and the efforts of the Technical Services Division, these two high-tech crooks are behind bars. Unfortunately, there are hundreds more of them out there, operating these scams from around the world. Remember, on the internet, these crooks can pretend to be anyone that they want. Often, they construct elaborate fronts to make them seem legitimate - fake websites, phony pictures, even references that can vouch for them. We refer to this as "the anonymity of the internet." But don't be fooled. There are very few legitimate jobs that allow you to work from your home, and none that involve processing checks or money orders. To avoid falling into these traps, remember these important tips. Number one: Never accept a check or money order for payment for any items if the check is greater than the amount owed to you. These so-called "overpayment scams" seem like a ticket to easy money, but usually leave the victim with an overdrawn account and empty pockets. Number two: Just because your ATM or bank statement says "funds available" doesn't mean that the check has actually cleared. By law, banks must make funds available to you in a few days. After that you can access the funds, but the check may not clear for weeks. Until the check does clear, you're legally responsible for the deposit, as well as any funds that you withdraw. Number three: Many lottery or sweepstakes frauds involve counterfeit checks. You receive a check for a portion of your winnings and are told to deposit it. You're then instructed to use a portion of these moneys to pay for taxes or fees, with a promise of even bigger winnings to come. Don't buy it. It may seem like easy money, but it will cost you big in the end. And lastly, don't forget your good common sense. If something sounds too good to be true, it probably is. There are no "get rich quick" schemes, and you can be sure that no one needs your help to transfer millions of dollars into or out of their country. Cops call these types of scams "419 fraud." They've been around for years, only now they've been updated for the information age. Play it safe, and log off on these fake check scams. For more information on how to avoid counterfeit check fraud, visit our website at www.fakechecks.org.

External Link: Behind the Badge: The U.S. Postal Inspection Service, Transcripción en español

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mattgoxleeca · 7 years ago

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Different Types of Web Marketing

Marketing yourself online these days, either individually or as a business, is critical to success. In this day and age of digital communication however, it’s often common to see so many acronyms and short forms evolve almost on a daily basis. When it comes to the types of digital marketing options available, we’re faced with the same challenge. Sometimes, it’s hard to keep the who’s who and what’s what straight!

The Alphabet Soup Demystified

When you are communicating online, it’s hard to keep track of tech-talk – especially if you’re new to the world of digital marketing. When someone texts you about SMM – are they talking Super Mario Maker (Nintendo video game), or do they mean Social Media Marketing? And if you are into sales, does SMM mean Sales and Marketing Management?

When building your online marketing strategy however, context is everything. The “A”s and the “B”s in various acronyms could mean different things, depending on the digital marketing context you are talking about. So, lets try and demystify this alphabet soup for you in the context of some of the types of digital marketing options available.

Back to the Basics

For the novice, wishing to make an informed decision about internet marketing strategies, at a very basic level, digital marketing isn’t about the marketing of digital goods and services (although it very well could be!). Rather, it is the use of digital technologies and strategies to facilitate any type of marketing activity. The results that you are aiming for will of course depend upon:

The type of products and services you wish to market (while Tanks and submarines aren’t particularly suited for mas digital marketing, Electronic items, Runners and Yoga Pants certainly are!)

Whom you want to reach out to (your target audience)

How that audience uses digital technologies today (cellphones, laptops, desktops)

The time horizon over which you expect to achieve results (1 week, a year)

The extent of your marketing budget (some types of digital marketing are cheap, others are expensive)

The types of online marketing strategies that you employ in your marketing campaign will then depend upon these major constraints.

In order to understand which digital tools you should deploy, as part of your marketing strategy, it’s important that you understand what types of digital marketing approaches are available out there, so you can match strategy with tools appropriately. And that’s where most novice digital marketeers (and some veterans too!) step on a minefield of acronyms and abbreviations.

In the following section, we’ll demystify that alphabet soup for you, so you can hopefully understand what types of online marketing options are available to you, and which ones will best meet the objectives you’ve set out for your marketing efforts. As you go through each of these digital marketing options however, you should always keep in mind the various constraints we outlined earlier. They will be your guiding principles in choosing one (or a combination) over the other types of digital marketing.

Digital Marketing Types

Generally speaking, there are a handful of abbreviations for digital marketing that you should be aware of. Out of those few core approaches, digital marketing professionals create various other types of hybrid digital marketing strategies. When you are talking to, or negotiating with, digital marketing service providers, it is important for you to understand “digital marketing speak”, so you can make informed decisions. For instance, these days you hear a lot about things that go “viral”. Well, there now is a specialized digital marketing strategy, which uses various types of digital marketing alternates, which revolve around making things “go viral”. It’s a strategy known as Viral Marketing, and it uses a hybrid of several online marketing approaches. We’ll cover some of them in greater detail shortly.

Your Choices – What’s on The Menu?

So, without further ado, lets do a deep dive into the various forms of digital marketing. Be warned though – you’ll be exposed to many acronyms and abbreviations.

But don’t worry – we’ll break it all down for you:

1. SOCIAL MEDIA MARKETING (SMM)

In the old days, you’d base your marketing strategies upon surveys or polls conducted through third-parties. Many online marketers still do that, but now there’s a better way. They use social media, such as Facebook, Instagram and Twitter to take their message directly to the client.

Social Media Marketing (SSM) if one of the types of digital marketing that’s rapidly being used by large companies and small start-ups alike. It’s growing popularity is partly due to the fact that it puts businesses directly in touch with consumers. But the other reason that SSM is gaining in popularity is because of cost. Its low cost means many more businesses can adopt it and unleash the power of their social networking platforms to market themselves.

2. SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION (SEO)

To understand SEO, just think of your browser’s home page. As soon as you go to MSN.Com or Google’s home page, you’re flooded with popular or trending news stories or items of interest. Well, SEO aims to do just that: It takes your message to various search engine result pages (SERPs) and displays it prominently, ahead of your competitors, so surfers and would-be customers get to view them quickly.

The science of SEO is complex, and based on algorithms (called Bots, Crawlers and Spiders) and processes that parse the contents of websites and social media platforms, to rank and rate them for relevance. These types of digital marketing approaches therefore depend on making sure your content includes a lot of “food” – called Keywords, Tags, and Meta Data - for search engine Crawlers and Bots. If the hungry algorithms are satisfied with your content, they’ll rank your online presence higher up in search engine queries – which is a great marketing opportunity!

3. CONTENT MARKETING (CM)

Remember we talked about “hybrids” earlier? Well, one of the types of digital marketing hybrids is called content marketing. This strategy depends on high-quality, SEO-rich content, that you then serve across a number of online platforms – including websites, social media sites, Blogs and other digital presences.

With good content in hand, CM-specialists then use different destinations, including those owned by you as well as owned and operated by others, to host that content. Some of this content goes to paid destinations, while others are hosted/posted in reciprocal arrangements (you post mine, I’ll host yours!). The result: Well-created content, widely distributed and marketed, casts a wide net and creates a continuous pipeline of potential clients.

4. VIRAL MARKETING (VM)

We talked a little bit about VM earlier. Essentially, it is the art (some call it a science!) of taking some digital content, and marketing it in a way that it becomes the “talk of the digital world!”. Content could be a funny video, a thoughtful photograph, a passionate essay, or a mind-blowing piece of animation. It doesn’t matter what your content is created from, as long as it stirs a lot of online interest.

Next, VM uses various types of digital marketing strategies to push out that viral message, and link it to your brand or message. That could be done on YouTube, through Twitter, on your Facebook page, or through Instagram or Pinterest. With your message attached to that content, the more people like what they see, the more they share it with their own network of contacts, and the more viral it gets. VM is really that simple (and effective)!

5. PAY PER CLICK MARKETING (PPC)

Unlike SEO-enabled links, which rise to the top of any SERP because of their popularity and relevance to the searchers’ query, PPC marketing actually pays search engines to display your links or advertisements in prominent places on their pages.

If you are rolling out a short-term promotion of your goods and services, sponsored links and paid advertisements are a great way to be “up front, and top and center” on SERPs. Once that period is over, and you stop paying for your PPC campaign, your content will no longer appear “in your face” of searchers and casual surfers.

The duration of your marketing blitz, and the extent of your budget will dictate whether PPC is for you.

6. AFFILIATE MARKETING (AM)

To understand what Affiliate Marketing is, all you need to do is walk into any local franchise of a popular brand (Tim Hortons, Canadian Tire) and see how it works. AM is similar (though not identical!). These types of digital marketing strategies identify a host of “affiliate” platforms – websites, social media networks, Blogs – and recruit them to spread the word about what you are offering.

In effect, what you are doing is tapping into the popularity of your “affiliates”, so that you can convert some of their clients (or website traffic) into your own clients. There is an up-side and a down-side to AM. Firstly, you need to be diligent about selecting the proper affiliates, because if they aren’t honest and credible operators themselves, your brand could be irreparably harmed.

Also, AM means you have to split your revenue with your affiliates. The more prospects your affiliates convert into paid sales, the less revenue you get to keep.

However, the up-side to marketing through affiliates makes it one of the more popular types of digital marketing strategies around. Firstly, you don’t have to spend much of your own time, effort and money on marketing (although it is advisable that you continue to do so!). In the hope of increasing their own revenues, your affiliates will invest time and capital in marketing activities on your behalf.

In addition, since they have already built sizeable followings, you have a captive audience to target the marketing of your goods and services towards. And that’s a key advantage of using someone else’s contact list to sell yourself!

7. INFLUENCER MARKETING (IM)

One of the “indirect” types of digital marketing that’s gaining traction today, is called Influencer Marketing. Like affiliate marketing discussed earlier, IM is a marketing strategy that relies upon the popularity of others, to market your own products and services.

Here’s how it works:

You search and find individuals, groups or businesses that are well-respected within your niche. Then, you enter into an arrangement with them, whereby they promote and endorse your business, brand or marketing message.

Remember, because of the “authority” they hold within the niche, people they reach out to are more likely to get “influenced” and get converted when they hear your message. As an indirect marketing tool, AM often uses celebrities or other individuals (groups or entities) to influence prospective buyers to become paying clients. As in the case of affiliates however, credibility is of utmost importance!

8) ONLINE MARKETING (AKA: WEB MARKETING)

As alluded to earlier, some types of digital marketing strategies involve multiple strategies rolled into a single approach. Online marketing is one such hybrid marketing tool that involves a broad array of internet marketing initiatives.

Just as individuals in the old days marketed themselves using the Yellow Pages, Newspaper advertisements, door-to-door Flyer deliveries, Classified ads in community newspapers, Television spots – so too online marketing uses a myriad of digital marketing strategies to get the message out.

From marketing on specialized websites, to listings on niche online directories, to getting paid and reciprocal links from/to other online platforms from/to your website, this type of strategy takes a shotgun approach to marketing. You could write Guest Posts to promote yourself; buy paid links on search engines; write and publish content on niche sites, or launch a Press Release every time you roll out a new product or service, or have something newsworthy to report.

And there…now you know Who’s Who, and What’s What about digital marketing. As you can see, the types of digital marketing strategies are as broad and diverse as the products and services you are trying to market. Some of them can be launched on your own, others might need professional inputs. And still others need partners (affiliates) to pull them off successfully.

Happy Marketing!

And now, for the BIG questions:

Are some of these better than others?

Should you avoid some and embrace others?

Which one is the best for you?

Unfortunately, the best answer to all of these questions is a rather vague (and politically correct!): It depends!

When it comes to online marketing, there’s no one-size fits all approach. Which types of digital marketing strategies you adopt will depend on many factors, including on your marketing objectives. While PPC might work for your competitor, your business may be better suited for SMM. To choose which one is ideal for you, go “Back to the Basics” above, and review the five constraints we provided. Keep those in mind when deciding what types of digital marketing you should adopt. And happy marketing to you all!

from Survis Posts https://survis.com/posts/different-types-of-web-marketing from Survis https://survisinc.tumblr.com/post/172246433961

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survisinc · 7 years ago

Text

Different Types of Web Marketing

The Alphabet Soup Demystified

Back to the Basics

The type of products and services you wish to market (while Tanks and submarines aren’t particularly suited for mas digital marketing, Electronic items, Runners and Yoga Pants certainly are!)

Whom you want to reach out to (your target audience)

How that audience uses digital technologies today (cellphones, laptops, desktops)

The time horizon over which you expect to achieve results (1 week, a year)

The extent of your marketing budget (some types of digital marketing are cheap, others are expensive)

The types of online marketing strategies that you employ in your marketing campaign will then depend upon these major constraints.

Digital Marketing Types

Your Choices – What’s on The Menu?

So, without further ado, lets do a deep dive into the various forms of digital marketing. Be warned though – you’ll be exposed to many acronyms and abbreviations.

But don’t worry – we’ll break it all down for you:

1. SOCIAL MEDIA MARKETING (SMM)

2. SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION (SEO)

3. CONTENT MARKETING (CM)

4. VIRAL MARKETING (VM)

5. PAY PER CLICK MARKETING (PPC)

The duration of your marketing blitz, and the extent of your budget will dictate whether PPC is for you.

6. AFFILIATE MARKETING (AM)

Also, AM means you have to split your revenue with your affiliates. The more prospects your affiliates convert into paid sales, the less revenue you get to keep.

7. INFLUENCER MARKETING (IM)

Here’s how it works:

8) ONLINE MARKETING (AKA: WEB MARKETING)

Happy Marketing!

And now, for the BIG questions:

Are some of these better than others?

Should you avoid some and embrace others?

Which one is the best for you?

Unfortunately, the best answer to all of these questions is a rather vague (and politically correct!): It depends!

from Survis Posts https://survis.com/posts/different-types-of-web-marketing

0 notes

caredogstips · 7 years ago

Text

Ann Patchett:’ If writers are to survive we must take responsibility for ourselves and our manufacture’

The author explores buying her own bookstore, the bequest of divorce and referring to herself in the third person

In the windowpane above Ann Patchetts desk is a small steel and enamel sign that reads: What good shall I do this day? This simple dictum is the engine of Patchetts world, both on the sheet and off. In the Orange prizewinning Bel Canto , comradeship, ardour and productivity bloom among terrorists and captives; in 2011 s artful State of Wonder , a sensible research scientist faces not just the serpents and other frights of the Amazonian jungle, but the dragon of her former medical lecturer.

I have been shown so much kindness in “peoples lives”, so for me to write volumes about good, species parties seems totally natural, Patchett tells. When “theyre saying”, Oh its too nice, its naive, I just think: who killed your mother?

It infringes a literary inhibition to write fiction that hints parties might be fundamentally good. For the 52 -year-old Patchett, however, the real taboo was writing about their own families. Commonwealth , her seventh romance, publicized this week, encompasses 50 years and two pedigrees, the Cousinses and the Keatings, whose common fate is set in motion at a gin-soaked christening defendant where Albert Cousins caresses Beverley Keating.

Today, the very best that Patchett will do involves picking up a columnist from Nashvilles airport and devoting her whole daytime to zipping around township in her little silver Prius, testifying mentioned journalist her world-wide. Even if she hadnt published an paper, The Mercies, about her schooling with the Sisters of Mercy, you might guess that Patchett had been raised by nuns. She excretes that sleeves-rolled, get-on-with it ability, paired with the clarity and occasional brutality of true-blue righteousness. To watch her in action is to hear the Mother Abbess from The Sound of Music sing, Climb Evry Mountain. Patchett climbs every mountain, but she will also croak an occasional, and deliciously un-nun-like, fuck!

What do you do when the bookstores in your hometown all shut down? If youre Patchett, you open one yourself. In 2011, she founded Parnassus Books, an idyll in a shopping plaza, with her business marriage, Karen Hayes. She has since become a rallying spokesperson for independent bookstores.

I feel that writers are treated like orchids: they keep us in the hothouse, they cloud the americans and attend to our every motivation, but if this system is going to work, if we are going to survive, we need to come out of the hothouse and take responsibility for ourselves and for the health of the industry.

She takes a firm line. When customers visit the bookstore and keep telling her Amazon is cheaper: Im like, You cannot come in, soak up what we have, talk to the staff, get recommendations, then go home and buy the book on Amazon. If you do, I will hunt you down and smack-dab you guys later. Somehow, she lends with a smiling, Ann Patchett can say that in a way that your regular bookstore owned cant.

She leads the way to the offices at the back, where young women work with puppies at their hoofs and on their laps. One of the salesclerks pokes her president around the door and tells Patchett that theres an Australian fan here who would really like to meet her.

All right, here “theres going”, and Patchett psyches out to the storey to signal four replicas for her love. Later, she tells me that when people tell her how much they cherish her notebooks, Im smiling, and Im grateful, but I almost dont know what theyre speak about. Its so far away, and what I am thinking at that moment, is: I hope I am cooking my face in a way that I seem hired and grateful.

She and her husband, the surgeon Karl Vandevender, talking here Ann Patchett in the third largest being, as do her friends and peers at the bookstore. Theyll reply: Oh, we need Ann Patchett for something, and Ill run: Ill see if I can conjure her up. Ann Patchett, she reads definitively, is the label. Ive got to employed that away at the end of the day.

All of her tales, she explains, are the same floor: a group of parties are thrown together and must forge connections to survive. Ive been writing the same journal my whole life that youre in one family, and all of a sudden, youre in another family and its not your option and you cant get off. Eventually, she expected herself: I wonder if I wrote the storey that Im so carefully not writing, if I might be free of it?

As soon as she began working on Commonwealth , the story of her own parents divorce and her precede life with stepsiblings, she announced her intentions to her family. Thats brave, I say.

Yeah, it is. It was also really smart. She told them: I dont want to cut off a part of my life any more. I dont wishes to not have access to my own experience because I dont want to set anybody out. I want to be able to grow. And, I find, until I get this done, Im not going to grow. And everybody supposed: You lead, girl!

Patchett concedes that, until this stage, shed been very self-congratulatory over not having written a volume about their own families, which seemed like the strong, easy thing to do. Then she read an paper by Jonathan Franzen in which he insisted that the novelist has to do what intimidates him “the worlds largest” and, for him, that had been writing about his family. When I speak that, I thoughts: oh , good-for-nothing would scare me more. I would happily razz down the Amazon in a canoe and is being dealt with serpents[ as she did to study State of Wonder ] rather than face my family.

In the entitle paper of her 2013 non-fiction collect, This Is the Story of a Joyous Wedding , she details the lineage of divorce in her own family, including her own at the age of 25, and her eventual matrimony to Vandevender. There is a sense in that paper, which moves in steady, clear-eyed increments, of a columnist willing herself into facing and articulating hard truths, of which this is paramount: Divorce is the history lesson, that circumstance that must be remembered in order not to be repeated. Divorce is the rock upon which this faith is built.

She remembers sweat swarming down her appearance as she wrote it, while she experienced the distinct sensation that she was sitting in the middle of the road in the dark, with a legal pad, contemplation: Im going to get squashed by a truck.

She writes candidly, for example, that she, her sister and their stepsiblings werent the products of our mothers joyous wedlocks: “were in” the flotsam of their divorces. In Commonwealth , that flotsam is the intense little tribe of the six Cousins and Keating babes, each of whom corresponds to her own stepsiblings.

Its like chess fragments, she tells, as she explains that each persona stood in for a real family member. In this mode, it was very easy for me to keep track of everyone over 50 years. And genuinely, I committed everybody a high quality of life, by a very large margin. The parties in the book somehow represented my dearest desires for all the people.

Its dedicated to Mike Glasscock, her half-brother, reimagined here as Albie, a very young, whom the others find so annoying that they narcotic him with Benadryl to induce him sleep for hours. Years afterwards, as a bicycle messenger and recovering heroin user, Albie chances upon a romance called Commonwealth by a writer announced Leo Posen. He realises it is about two pedigrees, his own, about the inestimable burden of their lives: the occupation, the houses, the friendships, the marriages, the children, as if all the things theyd craved and worked for had cemented the impossibility of any kind of merriment. He wonders: Isnt that what everyone wants, just for a moment to be unencumbered?

Its surely my greedy lust, Patchett laughs. Franny, whom the nun had led to believe that God granted preference to people who did things the hard way, is a cocktail waitress when she first fulfils the famous novelist Posen.( Who wants to have a novel about a novelist? Patchett groan. But thats the way it turned out .) He becomes so drunk that she must help him up to his hotel chamber, where he has only enough time left to ask for one more advantage, which Franny thought was the deepest difference between women and men. Eventually, that dynamic is enlarged in incidents established in the Hamptons, Long Island, where Franny spots herself expected to single-handedly acquire dinner and liquors for changing hordes of Posens clients. Theyre some of the funniest of the book.

You wanna talk about which part of this volume is autobiographical? Patchett reads. That fraction. How exhausting it is, as the status of women, to always be the one who has to do the meat and change the bunks. No topic how enlightened, how much of a feminist I am, I am still doing all of it.[ With] every journal I conceive: well, if this ones actually successful, maybe I wont “re going to have to” acquire dinner any more, she laughs. Perhaps Ill finally is how to not do this any more, because its my fault. Its is not simply gender, but the 12 years of Catholic school and being trained to be a good servant. I believe in this, I truly believe that the greatest event you can do is to serve.

Oh, if I could free-spoken myself from the autocracy of good deeds, she mocklaments. Oh, there used to be no stopping me. I could be Tolstoy without good deeds. I has actually be something.

Over lunch she tells me that she read a Charles Bukowski poem that morning that aims those who/ replace/ know/ this secret :/ there isnt/ one. Its abide with her, perhaps because writing, more than any other art formation, is susceptible to regulations, premier among other issues being to write every day.

Dont you think guys are the ones that always say that? she adds. Im not sure Ive heard a woman say you have to write every day. Theyre too busy obligating dinner. I go through extended periods of time when I dont write, and Im fine. Writing is an amazing situate to hide, to go into the rabbit defect and pull the trap door down over your premier. I want to have time in my life when I dont have that cover.

She also insists that there are things that are a lot more important than me writing a novel. For illustration: If person told, OK, you can either write five more great novels, or you are able to made to ensure that the people who work in bookstores have health insurance and have some home to depart if they need assistance because theyre transgressed. At this stage I might certainly go for the very best. Nothing fuels the good of “the worlds” like gaiety, and the thing that sees me feel really alive is figuring out how I can startle other beings into doing good.

To ordering Commonwealth for 15.57( Bloomsbury, RRP 18.99) go to bookshop.theguardian.com or announce 0330 333 6846. Free UK p& p over 10, online orders merely. Phone orders min p& p of 1.99.