#im gonna work. so hard. im gonna draw the charm shit for the con

[lokh]

estimated delivery jun 21. convention jul 1. i got plany of time =3c

[thoughtsoftheantagonist]

A Song For You

A/N:I know its been a long while but im back. After losing my mother in march then my brother in December of last year it took alot out of me and i had to find a new way to live without them. Thank you all for sticking with me and i hope you enjoy. alot of other things to come as well. 

To catch up my A Song For You  Masterlist is right HERE

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Juan's Pov

There are many things he has learned in his life, most recently he has learned how to be a man, and how to love a woman like his wife. Strong and wild as a hurricane he remembers one of the best pieces of advice he had gotten the day of his wedding. As his best man Chibs had pulled him aside and gotten him to calm the fuck down, apparently he had been annoying the fuck out of the guys all day with his squirrely behavior and Chibs gave him a blunt and a beer. Once his nerves had released him he stood with his brother and was heading back to the set up area when Chibs stopped him. "Let me tell ya one thing to always remember when it comes to a woman like Joy." He nods and gives Chibs his full attention "Love her but keep her wild. She is a woman and we all want to protect our women but at the end of the day she is a force of nature that granted you the privilege of standing close enough to be in awe of her and live." 

When Chibs walked away he stared out across the reservation where he stood, Chibs was right, he wasn't worried about how any of this went. He was more worried about his wife coming to her senses and taking off in the other direction then he was standing but that was his old doubts about himself. But like Chibs said, Joy was a force of nature, and she chose him to pour her love, life and energy within. Why the fuck was he looking that gift horse in the mouth? He grins as he stares at his wife as she throws her leg over her Dyna in their driveway, she doesn't see him move to lean on his bike and looks back at him over the top of her ray bans. "You ok handsome?" He shakes off his nostalgia and walks over to stand at her side, his hands automatic coming up to braid one side of her mane of wild curls while she does the other. "I'm fine babe. Just a lot of thinking. Must be getting old."

He chuckles when his father in law slaps a hand down on his shoulder as he passes him, having spent the night in the guest room "Shut the fuck up you toddler." He puts the hair tie around the bottom of his wife's pig tail braid and kisses her temple as she snickers. Pinching her thigh in retaliation and jumping back as she swipes at him, climbing into his bike he shoots her a wide grin before putting his helmet and glasses on, peeling out of the driveway with her on his tail. Catch me if you can baby.

Joy POV

She heads up the stairs to the second floor with Bobby on her heel. Once again asking the age old club question…..what the fuck are you wearing kid. She speaks over her shoulder to the older man " I couldn't help it that my  good taste offends your eyes. But i refused to sacrifice that to the all black of the club colors." Apparently that had tickled bobby as they marched up the stairs to grab their hiding leader. Jax had called them all here and wasn't even down stairs. But she knew where he would be. She knocks on the door and peeks inside with a grin. " everyone is here brother." He nods and stands, she sees him pocket his small journal, walking by her he grabs the side of her head and places a kiss on the top of her head. " Hmmmmm apples. Not bad." She snorts and shoves him, then he gives her a loaded look as his blue eyes scan her face. "You ok? Sleep alright." She knew he meant the nightmares, she sighs with a nod "Yeah Juan had me smoke two blunts myself and I was knocked the fuck out." He chuckles and looks between her and Bobby "Let's get the day locked down. Gonna be a huge one. Bobby anything from Galeen?" She and Jax move to leave but Bobby's voice stops them " Meeting is at two. Something we gotta Handel first." She arches a brow "What's up?" He doesn't look at her, speaking only to Jax "Bringing Clay to the table." She feels her hand twitch at the look on Jax's face. "Excuse me?" Bobby continues "He is gonna admit what he did with the nomads. Too Joy and Tara, all of it and we vote." She is stunned, he went behind Jax's back. Knowing what it could mean he went to Clay anyway. She clenches her fists, hissing through her teeth "Bobby what are you doing?" He glances at her as he moves to go down the stairs "My job kid."

She and Jax share a loaded look, this wasn't fucking good. They practically trip over each other as they head down stairs. She doesn't get time to tell her father or Juan what is going on before they are seated, but the way her husband is gripping her thigh, and the way her dad is trying to get her to look at him and not Clay at the end of the table leads her to believe they have an idea something isn't right. She can't take her eyes off of him as he speaks "I was lying in a hospital bed, thinking about all the shit I lost. I wasn't ready to let it go. I reached out to Frankie Diamonds. He was the one that suggested the home invasions. We figured we could rattle some of the folks close to the club, make it look like the MC was gonna hurt Charming and that Jax couldn't protect his own. Frankie pulled in Gogo and Greg. I promised to split my percentages when I got the gavel back." She grind her teeth, her hand clenching hard into fists at her side she knew her nails were drawing blood as Bobby talked, his eyes on the table " And attacking Unser at your house took the focus from you?" Clay nods, she snarls, her now bloody palms slamming down onto the wood of the table, making everyone jump as she stands, her voice like a sonic boom off the black walls. "And what about me Clay? Diamonds shot me point blank in the fucking stomach. If that had been Rita, her and the life of her unborn baby would be on your fucking head that I would gladly rip off your fucking shoulders given the smallest chance! Juan get the fuck off me!" She struggles as her husband yanks her down onto his lap, his arms locking around hers to keep her from struggling to much as Clay speaks directly to her "I didn't know you were buddy buddy with Eli's old lady, when they picked up the East Dub crew, I thought that was a good way to put the attacks on to Pope. And now with Jax working with him, I figured I could use it to help sway the club my way. I never wanted anybody to get hurt." She knows the sound of her half manic cackle bouncing off the walls isn't helping the situation. But she just can't believe the horse shit coming out of his mouth, Juan grabs her bloody hands in one of his and slaps his hand over her mouth she freezes through as Tig speaks for the first time since Clay started speaking " But they did. You hurt a lot of people." Seeing the pain in Tigs eyes as he looks over at her she lets the fight drain from her body, feeling the change Juan lets go of her mouth and just holds her in his lap. His grip is tight but comforting as Clay replies.

"You know, I-I don't expect anyone to believe this, and I ain't saying it wasn't 'cause of my pride and my greed, 'cause it was, but the main reason I was trying to push out Jax was because I didn't think he was ready to lead. This cartel shit, the pressure with the Irish, I didn't think he could handle it. I was wrong. He's proving to be a better leader than I ever was. I'll be in the garage." She watches him walk out, her eyes narrowed as the door closes. Moving from her husband's lap she yanks a black bandanna from her bag by her feet. Wiping at the bloody crescent shaped marks on her hands she listens to Jax "We heard his story. Vote has to be unanimous. Does anyone else have anything they'd like to say? All in favor of Clay losing his patch?" The vote is a solid yes across the board. She looks up as Jax says his next words "As far as the mayhem goes let's hear pros and cons." She is shaking as her eyes scan the table, her eyes locking on Chibs as she speaks " He's a traitor. I ain't buying this humble, "for the good of the club" bullshit. He's done." She nods, tears welling up in her eyes and spilling over as she grabs her husband's hand on her thigh. "I want to see the life drain from his eyes Jax. I can't fucking sleep at night without doping myself up because of the shit he set in motion almost killed me. If I don't I wake up screaming for my dad and husband because I'm scared they are next. Hell my god damned husband wakes up in cold sweats and shakes me awake just to make sure I'm not dead. I want him dead so this butterfly affect he started can fucking die with him." She rests her head on Juan's shoulder, his lips pressed against her forehead as she tries to slow her breathing.

Jax stares at her for a moment and nods "All in favor of Clay Morrow meeting Mr. Mayhem." Six yea, she looks to Bobby and her whole body goes numb as he speaks "No." She stares at him for a moment as Jax's bangs the gavel, barely hearing Chibs as he goes to get Clay. She stands. Bobby turns to her, his mouth open to speak but her hand claps against his cheek, some blood she had missed on her hand now on his reddened cheek.. She shoves him out of the way. Not realizing Jax was right behind her along with her husband, she almost runs into Clay as him and Chibs come back. She feels more then sees Jax move past her and fly into Clay, watching the two men grapple she feels her blood pump, standing back she doesn't move to help Chibs as he tries to yank Jax off Clay, the dull thud of Jax fist against the side of clays face gives her a sick kind of satisfaction. But it's cut short, she curls her lip as Chibs and Tig successfully yank Jax away from Clay. She walks over to Clay as the others are preoccupied with Jax, standing over the man she sees blood dripping from his temple and arches a brow "Looks like it hurts." Before he can speak the heel of her boot comes down and the sound of his nose breaking makes her smirk before she is yanked up off her feet by her father. " Enough Mija." She nods, she got her lick in, and the way the bastard was clutching his face made her anger levels drop somewhat. She feels Jax's hand on her arm, she lets him yank her away from the others and back into the clubhouse, looking back she gives her husband a look as he tries to follow. Jax needed her, only her it seems. He releases her as he shoves the doors to church back open, he all but collapses into his chair, she watches him with narrowed eyes as she closes the double doors behind her gently. The sound of her docs on the floor almost painfully loud as she makes her way to her seat.

Sitting she stares at Jax as he twirls a gold lighter between his fingers. She doesn't speak, and neither does he for the longest, but as she feels the silence about to swallow her and him whole the door opens. But as the person enters she wishes they would have stayed out if she was honest. She feels her whole body tense as Jax's chest starts to rise and fall rapidly, his body tense as his voice sends an uncomfortable chill down her spine. "You made a deal with him behind my back." She almost jumps as Bobby tosses Clay's jacket onto the table, she watches him with a heated glare. He refuses to look her way, keeping his eyes on Jax "We couldn't prove shit. We both know that. And there's no way that you could let Clay sit at this table. Me either. The shit he's done. He needed to go away, and if I didn't make this deal, you would've killed him as soon as we were finished with Gaalan." She slams her hands down, making their gaze jump to her "Wrong Bobby. You seem to think you're the only one who is looking out for Jax. I would do it because I want to watch his insides bake on the concrete outside." Bobby sighs " But kid Do that once, next time just becomes a little easier, and before you know it, this thing that we have is pointless. I stopped jax from becoming the guy that you both wanted to kill. All your doing is being his god damned dog on a leash like Tig was for Clay." She almost leaps over the table to get at Bobby's throat, no one talked about Tig infront of her…..no one. But Jax's hand on her tattooed arm stops her. "You think this vote protects Clay?"  She moves her arm out from under Jax's hand. Bobby looks between her and Jax, and for the first time she really looks at him. He looks tired, worn down and her anger slowly drains from her body. "You want him dead. Seems like the only choice today. But I know you, Jax. The right thing settles in."  

She jerks as Jax's voice echos off the wall. Making her grind her teeth "And how is letting him walk the "right thing"?" Bobby holds Jax's gaze "I know you see it as betrayal." She feels her nose wrinkle and her eyes sting as he looks at her across the table "i know you both do. And I took that risk because I love you, both of you. And this club needs you two. We're broken." She clenches her eyes shut, trying to stop the tears, but Jax's next words rip a gut wrenching sob from her lips, " I've had a hard time feeling any love or brotherhood since Opie died." She slaps a hand over her mouth, her other hand resting on her stomach as she tries to keep it together. "You're just lost your way a bit, brother." She angrily swipes at her eyes, not caring if she looks a mess now, she sees Jax's eyes, bright and wet as he locks eyes with her and shakes his head "No, I found it, finally." She sniffs as he turns to Bobby "Opie was right. The gavel corrupts. You can't sit in this chair without being a savage." She feels like her world is crumbling as Bobby stares a Jax, tears in his eyes as he sighs "I know." She reaches across the table, her hand gripping Jax limp one as he sniffs. "You don't know shit." His grip slowly tightens on hers as he continues, the tears falling from his eyes make her heart break for him. "You counsel from fear. You want me moving in comfortable, cozy circles, and I can't do that." By the time he turns away from Bobby and releases her hand his grip was painfully tight on hers, turning the skin of her hand ashen gray from lack of blood flow. She turns her damp eyes to Bobby, staring at him hard for a moment she clears her throat, still flinching slightly at how raw her throat feels. "You should go."

She watches Bobby as he leaves, turning her eyes to Jax once the door clicks shut. His cheeks are wet and his eyes red. But he has no more tears now, she reaches into her bag, grabbing the pack of make up wipes she yanks one from the pack and scrubs at her face. Seeing Jax watching her with an odd look she glares and tosses it at his face, making him jerk a little and toss it off his chest where it fell. She couldn't help but chuckle, locking eyes with him again and she fell silent, her hand coming down to rest over his for a moment. "I'm with you brother." He nods, moving his hand out from under hers he pats it and turns to the door as it pushes open. Seeing her favorite Scott's men she gives him a weak grin, he nods to her and leans his hand on the chair in front of him. "Jackie boy. Sorry to bother you but August just called, and Pope wants a Meeting at Charming Heights." Jax turns to face Chibs. "When?" The Scott sighs "Now." He nods and turns to her "I need you to stay, chibs is going to come with me. I want you to get the guys ready for the deal later with Lin. He is closer to you than me so I want you at my side for this. Not Bobby." She nods, getting to her feet she leans down pressing a kiss to the top of his blonde head she pat Chibs on the arm as she passes. She needed to see her husband.

He wasn't far, she found him on the swing set. She leans against the gate as he stares off to the side, a blunt hanging from his lips, his hand grip the chains on either side of his head as he swings slightly, the sun gleaming off the multiple rings on his fingers, she glances at his eyes, seeing them already low lidded so she knew it wasn't his first one. He doesn't even notice when she takes the seat beside him, but when her fingers glide along his forearm to his hand he grips it tightly, letting them fall between them to swing. Turning to her he gives her a small grin. His dark brown eyes scan her from head to toe and she felt it like a warm caress. He brings her hand in his up to his lips, using his other hand he hands her the blunt while he kisses the back of her hand. " You've been crying." She nods, taking a deep pull she holds it, holding it back out to him he shakes his head, keeping her hand by his lips he presses kisses to her wrist and fingers. Making her smile. Her sweet husband, trying to heal her pain with good weed and kisses. What a man. She giggles and he smirks, his teeth biting down on her thumb playfully. Making her rip her hand back with false and over dramatic out rage, forgetting she was on a swing she shrieks as she falls back into the wood chip ground with a grunt, her calves resting where her ass used to be in the swing "Jesus Joy!" Her husband scrambles to get to her, kneeling on the ground next to her he lifts her head onto his lap. He calms when he realizes her body is shaking from laughter, he grins and picks wood chips from her hair as he tries to not wheeze as she starts to snort she was laughing so hard.

"I sometimes forget how much of a klutz you are until you do shit like this." Her giggles intensify as her free hand comes up to smack at his shoulder. The other one bringing the blunt she somehow managed to not drop to her lips with a smug grin. "Didn't drop the blunt though that's talent " his eyes locked with hers for a moment and he gave her a leering grin. "No what you do with your tongue that's talent." She stares at him gobsmacked before she is on him, forgetting about the blunt she drops it and starts smacking at her husband, cursing in rapid fire Spanish. And that's how her father found them when it was time to go. Never a dull moment for the Ortiz/Lowman bunch.

Henry Lin's Warehouse (Joys pov)

As her bike pulls to a hard stop in the Lin warehouse she grins, she remembered so many deals here. She also remembered unloading a good amount of the legal shit here as well. Everything she ever did before the club was to be ready for redwood. Every odd job, everybody she dropped had been to be here, standing full circle with Henry across from her this time. She accepts his hug and waves to the others behind me, receiving nods and grins in return. She steps to the side as Jax beings Romeo over "Henry Lin, Romeo Parada and his  associate, Luis Torres." She take her place against the far dock door, pulling a pack of cigs from her her back pocket she watches Henry work, letting out a whistle of appreciation at the hardware his men were uncovering not being able to stop herself for speaking along with Henry "Russian Kornet with articulating tripod. Thermal sight, 9M133 missiles." Everyone turns to her, she shrugged, her guys grin and turn back to the deal. She stares off to the side, her mind wandering, keeping her focus somewhat on what was going down, until she hears two words that made her want to throw shit. " Three months." She tilts her head back, tossing her cig out the open dock door. She didn't even have to look at Romeo to know that was not what he wanted to hear.

She sighs, her eyes watching Romeo's back from behind her shades as he speaks lowly to Torres for a moment before turning to Henry "Ten Kornets. Hundred missiles. Two dozen Brownings, two dozen KS-Vs with quick-release silencers." Henry nods, everyone turning to watch Torres as he speaks, a black duffle in his hand "Once you figured out the Hamas express, we'll want drops every two weeks. Mayans MC will handle the transport. 250 down payment. Just let us know the balance." Henry shakes bother their hands " Absolutely. Looking forward to doing business with you."  Romeo nods "You should. We're gonna make you rich."  She is about to get on her bike as Romeo and Torres head towards Jax, Bobby and herself but Jax's hand grabs the back of her cut, keeping her in place. Asshole. Romeo locks eyes with herself for a moment then Jax "Galindo's getting pushed on two fronts by Lobo Sonora. We just lost Tubutama; we can't wait three months for them Kornets. We're gonna need another shipment of RPGs from the Irish before we kill that tie." She sighs, her hands on her hips, she stares past the guys, plans forming in her mind, possible outcomes of how this could work. That Irish fuck head will not be happy to hear about Clay being out, and when he does he might not give them what they need. She is shaken from her thoughts when Romeo's voice shakes her "Is that a problem? " She is about to yell yes but Jax beats her "Shouldn't be. I'll ask Gaalan at the pickup." Romeo shakes his head, a hand coming down on Jax's shoulder, making her hand twitch for her glock "Don't ask him. Tell him."

As the two men walk out and away she drops her mask of indifference and curses, her head falling back as Jax combs his hands through his already slicked back hair, his eyes wide and moving around rabidly as he thinks almost as if he was seeing his own thought process before his eyes. Her husband comes to stand next to her, his hand going up the back of her shirt to rest on her lower back. His warmth was a slight comfort. Jax finally nods and turns to the rest of the group. "All of us need to head back to the shop. I want Chibs and Bobby to get this shit rolling. Joy, can you go check on Tara for me let her know what's going down." She nods, turning to her husband as the guys head for their bikes, wrapping her arms around her husband's narrow waist she sighs, her cheek resting on the warm leather of his vest. His chin rests on her head. "You ok baby girl?" She nods, leaning more into him as one of his hands brushes down the back of her head in soft swipes, over and over again. "I'm ok. Just thinking about it all. Once I get it all cleared in my head I'll give you a peek inside. Ok?" She feels his chin brush her head as he nods. His lips pressing to the top of her head before he releases her reluctantly. She gives him a half hearted wave and sighs as he and the other drive off, turning to Henry as she sees them heading out as well. She nods her head and moves towards her bike, time to check on Tara.

The Hospital

She is laid back in Taras office, her body draped across the beige couch as she scrolls through her phone waiting for Taras break. When the woman in question sees her she smiles. "Joy. I see your making yourself at home." She smirks at her phone screen. "I have the amazing power of not giving a fuck where I am. I'm always comfort." Tara chuckles and walks over, gently pushing the other woman's legs from the seat so she could sit next to her, joy shoves her phone into the inner pocket of her cut and grins at Tara "So Jax got the deal locked down with henry and the cartel." Tara nods but she see the slight pinch in joys face and sighs "I hear an invisible but in there." Leaning back into the couch she sighs, closing her eyes she blurts out everything, just ripping it off like a band-aid. "But the guns won't be here for a while so now Jax has to meet with the kings and get them to drop a load of guns out their tight freckled fists one more time. And with clay not here that means Galaan will bitch so this might not go well."

When she doesn't hear a groan or even a sigh she peeks one eye open seeing Tara looking at her blankly she opens them both. "Don't look at me like that. The past few days haven't been exactly conductive mentally for either of us so forgive me if i expected a violent reaction….ass." Tara snorts and looks off to the side. "Sorry to disappoint you with not having another mental break down. My body just doesn't have it in it right now." She snickers and nods, but stops when Tara gets a nervous look on her face. "I know that look. Talk. What's wrong." She is surprised when the normally stand offish woman grabs the hand closest to her and holds it tightly. Joy is more worried than ever, her other hand resting on top of the on gripping hers. "I have still been working on the papers for the other hospital. And through all this and talking to the club lawyer today something occurred to me. If something were to happen to me or….to jax."

The hitch in Taras voice makes her pat her hand, as much and no one ever wanted to think about their family or partner dying that sadly never helped. All it did was make you more lost when it happened. "If that happened i don't know who would have Able and Tommy and Joy that scares me. I have no other blood family and I won't let Gemma raise them i won't. And with blood Wendy could possibly take Able and I don't want that either Joy. " She nods. No Gemma might have the deepest love to give like any other mother but hers had long been tainted by something inherently Gemma….something wrong. And wendy would have to take Able from her cold dead arms. When Tara turns her face to joy she sees tears in the woman's eyes and she yanks her hands from taras, her fingers wiping at the woman's pale cheeks, not understanding how to help. Until Tara's next words make everything click into place. "So talking with the lawyer i have named you and Juan as the people who will be their guardians." She feels the hot tears as they glide down her cheeks. Her hands move from Taras face to her own as she swipes at her cheeks roughly. Looking over she sees Tara watching her closely and she realized Tara actually thought she wouldnt want them. She sniffles and shakes her head. "I already love them like they were mine without overstepping. I would open my house and heart to those boys and Juan would too Tara. They would need or want for nothing because both of us would do anything to keep them happy. So if this gives you peace, do it. I already know Juan would be overjoyed, shocked but overjoyed." The woman's smile is bright and right there She sees the woman Jax sees all the time. As stern and logical as Tara was she was warm and beautiful when happy. Leaning over joy kisses her cheek with a nod. "Yeah. I have not one objection to that. But just know. Me and Juan might never leave here hun. Your boys would grow up here. Are you ok with that honestly?"

Tara stands, turning she leans back against her desks and sighs. "I know that. And if i'm honest it was one of the reasons i hesitated, and if i'm honest the only reason. But then i remembered how you grew up. Knowing about this life, it was never hidden like a secret or something shameful. And despite what you say about yourself your not a monster. Your good to my boys and everyone in that club who deserves it. And you dont shield able from it you let him know this isn't for him right now and send him on his way like the morning after Otto. So no.....i wouldn't mind them growing up here with the right mother and father besides Jax and myself." She stares at her rings as she twirled them around her fingers. She didn't realize the others knew she struggled with her nature. Sure Juan and maybe her father but to know on some level it was plain as the nose on her face made her want to hide away. Like a piece of her armour had been knocked off in battle. She speaks to Tara, her eyes still on her rings. "I struggle everyday with what i do for this club and to survive. Im not exactly martha fucking stewert. I don't know shit about kitchen knives but i know what blade to use to flay a man…..but i swear i would always love those boys and do right by them. Not manipulate but always have my hand out for them to grip on for balance. And thank you….it means alot to me." Tara is about to continue when her burner goes off, pulling it from her cut she sees Jax's name. Opening it she speaks "Im coming." Into the phone before hanging up and standing. Walking over to Tara she presses another kiss to her cheek." I love you Tara." She doesn't give the woman time to answer as she leaves, she had to slam down the gates on her emotions. The day isn't over yet.

The Barn

She gets to the barn just as the truck pulls up, she almost falls off the bike as shs skids to a stop in front of Jax and the other. Her prez was obviously worried she wouldn't make it, He practically yanks her off the bike as he hugs her. "Cutting it close sis." She pats his side as she hooks her sunglasses in the collar of her shirt. "I know. Got caught up talking to Tara." They make their way inside, she winks at her husband as he passes behind her. Smirking when his hand pats his ass as he does. She moved to follow him but Jax grips the back of her cut, keeping her on his left with bobby on his right. She sighs. She should have just kept the god damn patch at this point. "Where's Clay?" She and Jax both turn a sharp eye to Bobby. Clay would fucking be here and useful for once of bobby hadnt done what he did this morning. Bobby tosses the duffle of money on the ground between themselves and Gaalan. "He turned in his patch.It's been coming for a while."

Gaalan arches a salt pepper brow, his eyes bouncing between her and Jax. "He's out of the club?" She sees Jax sigh before finally speaking, her hand coming to rest on his back out of sight from the group before them. But very visible to their club behind them. "Look, Gaalan. I know you blame me for Kellan's death. And you're right, events in Belfast spun out of control.I just want to say, I liked the priest. He loved my dad. He sacrificed himself for my son-- I know that." She nods. She was proud of how level jax sounded. She tilts her head, a teasing lilt to her voice as she speaks makes Gaalan zero in on her. "And after you and our dear prezs little game of grab ass and your rambo impersonation i was personally hoping it might ease some of this tension." The man chuckles, she sighs. Her hand falls from Jax's back and she speaks plainly to Gaalan.

"Look Gaalan dispite what you might think about me i fucking hate the cartel. Mexican or not they are fucking up our day to day we all hate them.Romeo wants this shipment, one more. We give him that and we're done. No more them and everyone in our shit. Just The MC and the IRA can go back to business as usual. Sound?"

She wasn't surprised at his look of surprise at the use of irish slang. Her mom might not have raised her but she did her own research about the other half of her heritage. And as much as she might dislike Gaalan as well, a part of her felt kindred to him, his and chibs heavy broug as different as they might be, made her want to watch the old videos of her mother when her father would pick at her about her strong accent. She is shaken from her melancholy as the older man nods "Aye. Tis sound lass. For a little halfling your not all bad are ye." She opens her mouth to curse him but the doors on either side of the bar open. Both glocks are aimed on either side of her before they fully open and she starts cursing internally as Jax speaks to Romeo, his hands gently pushing her arms down. She doesn't put her guns back though. "What is this?" Romeo sighs "Talked to Damon Pope. Heard all about Clay. Thought we should come by and make sure the deal was moving forward. “I told you I would handle it."  Jax’s tone was very obviously pissed but neither irish or catel cared as they glared at each other.

Luis eyes Gaalan with a curl of his lip "We know how stubborn the Irish can be." Gaalan turns to look at the other man with a wide wicked grib "And we all know how ignorant you muppets can be." Romeo practically growls as he points to the gun crates "Put the guns in the truck." Gaalans voice echoes off the wooden walls "Don't touch the bloody guns." She grunts as she elbows jax back behind her towards her father and husband. Knowing if shit got wild they would yank him behind cover. Her voice is practically a hiss as she speaks pointedly to luis and romeo “We all want the same thing here! You two pendejos aren't helping for shit. We had this under control until you put your size twelves in it pulling this macho man shit." Having not listened to shit she said Romeo instructs the man closest to Luis to grab a crate. She sees the gun in Gaalans hand just as he fires it. She doesn't think, turning to Jax she rams into his chest. Knocking them both back into her father and Juan. Her father yanks Jax down next to him. She presses tight into her husband's side as bullets fly over his head. She sees her father and Phil book it outside to safety. She sees a blur running towards bobby and jax and she roars "Bobby get down." The man hits the floor as she lays out one of Galindos men. All fire stops and she looks over to see Gaalan at gunpoint. She shoves her guns back into their holsters and watches with narrowed eyes as Romeo snatches up the duffle of money. Yelling for the man to put the crates in the truck, he grins at her and Jax who was radiating pissed off like a furnace. "This buy is on the MC. For killing my guys, and the inconvenience of our wait. We'll call it even." Jax yanks her back as she lunges for Romeo. He had no idea what he had set in motion, the kings won't let this slide.

As luis yells for Gaalan to get his pasty white out of there Gaalan passes her and Jax. Giving Jax a loaded look he stops "This is on you, boy." Jax just nods, as prez it was his mess. Didn't stop her from moving to shoulder herself between him and Gaalan. He wasn't an ally anymore. He turns his jade eyes to her, his gaze grows harder. It wasn't in her favor that she looked so much like the men currently holding him at gunpoint "Sons are gonna feel this on both continents Lass. Know that." She nods as he leaves, her body slightly shaking from the adrenaline drop as she and Jax turn, both of them coming face to face with a wary looking bobby. She cant help her angry at him, a part of her doesn't want to put it all on him. But if clay had been here. If the meeting had ended moments before the cartel showed. Maybe things would have been different. But they weren't. Like Jax she shoulders her way past bobby outside. The guys following behind closely. She and Jax glare down the men loading the truck for the next ten minutes, a cig hanging limp between her lips as she locks eyes with Romeo. Dead eyes. She inhales deeply for the last time and tosses it to the side. Turning as Jax marches back behind them to the group of men she turns to watch as he paces for a moment. Walking closer she leans against the precut logs chibs was sitting on as he too watches jax. When he sees everyone is close,he starts pushing out orders, his eyes bouncing between her and chibs. "Lock down the shop and alert families." She and chibs nod. He would take care of teller morrow, all she had to do was send a text to one person and the phone tree would set on fire. She had spent months making plans for anything. Deaths to club threats but this was the most ambitious, she made sure everyone involved in the club only had two people on speed dial. The person next on the list and her. Once each call was made she would get a text to confirm until the last person on the list confirmed the texts kept going. Opening her phone she sends a message to Lyla a simple phrase 'Start the fire.' She puts her phone away as jax turns to Tig his voice raising the more frustrated he gets "Get Tacoma down here." Tig walks off without a word and Jax steps closer to chibs and herself. "Gaalan is gonna try to hurt us." He was right. Gaalan didn't seem the kind of man to make idle threats. Jaxs puts his hand on chibs shoulder "I need you find Gemma, you have her call me. Ok everyone roll out and get packed. Be in by lock down or be locked out. She quickly heads for her bike her husband and father hot on her heels all of them stop as Jax calls Juice back. "Juicy, I need you for something. Sonshine go get his shit packed, we will all meet at the club house." She hesitates for a moment as her dad heads off with a nod. She lets her husband pull her tight to his chest as he kisses her forehead. "Go baby. You know what to pack. Get sonny ready and i'll be there before you have time to miss me." she snort, pressing a kiss to his shirt covered chest. "Too late." She pulls away from him and locks eyes with Jax. "Keep my husband safe." He grins "always darlin." She rolls her eyes and walks off as the man laughs. These guys wouldn't know safe of it gave them head.

Clays house (Juan pov)

He and Tig had decided to give Clay, Miles and Rat and escort back to the shop. Well Tig wanted to do it and Juan didn't want him alone. As they make it to the cabin Tig knocks, he hangs back his shade covered eyes watching their surroundings. The irish were sneaky bastards. Once the door is open he and Tig quickly file in and lock the door. Walking over to rat and miles he sighs "Fuck the rest of his shit. Galindo fucked up the Irish deal and no Son is safe anywhere. Get his clothes and ill pack his guns, i know what he uses. Get moving we don't have much time until lock down." He watched the guys split up and he looked around as Tig and Clay talked about what happened. Seeing Clay's gun bag he opens it up and freezes. He sees the reaper holster, the nine and he grins. He is shaken from his memories by Clay's voice "You always did like it." He nods, watching clays large hands pull the gun from the holster. Bright silver with the black reaper handle. Shit was as beautiful as he remembered.

He watches clay aim it towards the wall before putting it back in the holster. "Piney gave it to me for my five year. I always thought I would give it to opie." He nods, his throat closing up, he clears his throat to fight back the sight of opies face. Not now, stay focused. He sees the gun being held out to him. "Clay come on." He shoves it back but the man passes his hand and presses it to his chest. "I get I'm not like a dad to you no more kid. Things i did to joy and you destroyed any of that but least i can do is give someone something i cant use anymore. So take it. Hell give it to the kid. She might put it in a shadow box with the day i died on it." He smirks and shoves the gun and holster into his inner pocket. "Or kill you with it." The older man chuckles. "Looking forward to it." He snickers and grabs the gun bag, and heads for the van. Making sure everything is in he heads for the bike. Lock down was approaching fast and if he knew his wife he knew she would shoot anyone who tried to close it with him outside of it.

Teller Morrow Garage

She volunteered to watch the outside as her father, Chucky, Unser and her father got the grill hot, with the amount of people here best idea was to have a potluck and bbq. Old rap plays from her phone next to her, her head bobbing and lips moving as her eyes scan the still open gate and full parking lot keeps her hands on the table under her, both her glocks next to each hand. She hears the bikes before she sees them. She smirks as Tig and her husband pull up in front of the van holding Miles and Rat. As Tig and her husband pull their bikes into the line. She nods to the guys as they pass her and go into the club house. When her husband and tig walk up with clay not too far behind her smile drops. Her husband kisses her cheek with a chuckle, his lips brushing her skin as he whispers "Down cujo. Gaalan called him on the way here." She arches a brow over her husband's shoulder to clay as he passes them without a word. "Fine….but he breaths wrong im playing baseball with his kneecaps." She lets her laughing husband pull her inside as miles and rats come back out to take over her watch duty.  

Everyone had been here for about an hour now and despite the reason for being here it was fun and everyone laughs all around. She hugged a few of the Tacoma boys she recognized, Kozik being one of them. She had missed him when he went back but he seemed to be keeping on the straight line where drugs were involved and she was so proud of him. She was watching her father talk to Lyla with a grin, he was leaning back against the pool table as Lyla lined up a shot. When the ball hits the pocket she smirks at one of the Tacoma prospects who thought she had been an easy target, poor kid. She bumps fists with Nero before turning back to talk to Happy. She feels her husband come up behind her, his hands snaking around her waist to rest low on her stomach. She turns her head to the side, kissing the side of her husband's stubble covered cheek as he rests his chin on her shoulder. "Why are you grinning like that beautiful?" She giggles, taking her bottom lip between her teeth. She places her hand on the side of her husband's face, making his gaze line up with hers. She knows he sees them too when he hums. "Now that's different. But oddly enough would make sense." She smirks. "exactly. I doubt much will happen for now. With Opie and all which i agree with, grive fully and never rebound. But i see something….something good in that possible future." She closes her eyes as her husband presses kisses to her cheek. "Look at you. Little miss matchmaker." She snorts and turns in his arms, wrapping her arms around his neck she gets on her tiptoes to press a kiss high on his cheek. Beaming up at him she says "Matched myself up with you didn't I?" He nods with a grin, his hands rubbing her ass before he surprises her and yanks her up by the thighs. She shouts as he heaves her body up his torso, her thighs clinch his sides as he carries her through the crowd of laughing sons, her protests and threats of body mutilation falling on deaf ears. When he plants her on the pool table she goes to swipe at him with her nails but he catches her wrist and holds it to his chest as he catches her lips.

All the fight leaves her body, her free hand gripping the side of his cut she yanks him closer. The world falls away as he surrounds her, his hand gripping her now limp wrist moves to the back of her neck. But their moment is short lived as one of the balls from the table hits her left thigh making her jump and look that way. Seeing a smirking Lyla with a chuckling nero and Happy over her shoulders. She nero's her eyes at her father. "Et tu, Brute?" Her father shrugs and grabs the pool cue from Lyla as Nero pats her shoulder "We're currently hiding the corner pocket Leona." She smirks at the nickname, Lioness. Well played Nero. She slides off the table Jax walks by them but she clenches her eyes as he freezes next to her, the venom in his voice makes it obvious who he is speaking too. "Why is he here." She pecks Juans lips one more time before turning to plant herself next to Jax. Clay looks even more broken than she remembers. Hunched over be tilts his head at Jax "Gaalan reached out to me. He wants the guns or the money or wendy is dead." She whips her head around to stare wide eyed at chibs, he makes a snatching motion and she sighs. She must have been at the hospital, she would grill him about it later. "Does Gaalan know wendy isn't Jax's wife?" Clay chuckles "Believe me kid i could hear wendy in the back shouting that and a lot of other stuff about Jax to prove as much. He says do it anyway or Able will be going back to Belfast." She snarls, jax holding his arm out in front of her to calm her. But her anger and frustration builds as Bobby chimes in "four hundred and seventy five thousand dollars. We pay back the Italians and Nero we ain't even close." She moves to stand behind chibs as Tig adds on "And there is no way we are getting the guns back from Romeo." She plants a hand on Chibs shoulder, his hand comes up to pat her. Chibs always knew how to center her, help her pull herself out of panic. Even without a word. Forever her mentor and guide.

She looks up as Nero clears his throat, pool cue in hand, his eyes bouncing around to lock eyes with them all before settling on Jax "I'm sorry. Couldn't help but overhear and I may have a solution." She locks eyes with Jax. She sees him tossing thoughts around and finally his eyes clear and he nods his head to the door before looking at Clay, she heads for the door as Jaxs tells Clay to get out. She sees her husband off to the side, headphones in his ears as he works on a few hard drives on the table before him. Leaning against the far wall she watches him from afar. He was deep in his tech mode and she refused to break that trance. She smiles as his lips move rapidly as he raps along to something she can't catch from how fast his lips move, but his grin is amazing. She feels someone at her side, the scent of clove and sandalwood makes her arch a brow. "Tiggy. Do you trust me?" Tigs arm lands around her shoulder as he leans on the wall next to her. A beer in his hand he takes a deep pull before replying. "Without question kid. Why?" She tilts her head to the side to look up at him. "I know none of us but Clay will be delivering that money when we get it." Tig nods, people doubted him so much but he was quicker than people gave him credit for. "Go with him. I don't trust him alone, let alone around Gaalan. So if he goes. Go with him. If not for the club or Jax. For my peace of mind?" Tig thinks on it for a moment before pressing a kiss to the side of her head and heading off into the crowd. She knew he would, she hated putting him so close to Clay so soon. But Tig was Clay's right hand for years. Clay wouldn't think twice of Tig going with him. She scrubs her face with her hand before pushing off the wall she sighs. So much to do and only so many hours.

Many hours later (Teller Morrow)

Wendy had been rescued and left twenty minutes ago in a huff, muttering to herself about fuck knows what. The last of the Sons from the lock down had hit the road and she was currently restocking the bar and her husband and father talked behind her. Something about new ink for Juan. Tara and Jax had yet to come down and that worried her. Turning to grab another bottle of turkey she sees Jax and the look on his face makes her pause. He speaks to Nero and Chibs for a moment before locking eyes with her. He shakes his head, she nods and gets back to stocking the bar as her father speaks to Jax. She feels someone at her side a moment late. She knows its jax from the scent of Marlboro and that damned hair gel he used that was a little too spicy for her nose. Once the shelf is stocked full she turns to him, he is leaned next to her and watching everyone. "You know I believed you earlier today." She arches a brow and chuckles "I said a lot of shit i meant earlier today. Refresh my memory brother."

She leans her upper body down on to the bartop. He stands next to her and copies her, their arms touching as he stares at the movement around them. "When you said you were with me. I know you are Joy. I don't doubt you on any front. I just…" She wants to look at him, but she knows it won't help. Bless these tough men they didn't understand how to communicate without showing fierce emotion. "I just don't know how to work this all out without Opie. I could say any idea or do any dumb thing and he would be there to help me realize why it was dumb in a way that would get through to my thick skull. And now that he is gone. Im worried about the gavel joy…." It took her a moment to understand what the last part meant. Then she remembers in church with Jax, Bobby and herself. The Gavel corrupts. Saying a mental fuck it to pretending this wasnt a serious conversation she turns to Jax, even as he refuses to do the same she speaks direct at him.

"The gavel will change you Jax. It's a hard and heavy weight that can crush a weaker man or woman. And you werent ready at all and didnt fucking want it. But  jax the way you're doing this. Getting it spread out among the other groups so everyone can get some food in their mouth. It's amazing Jax. Be proud of that." He nods, having enough of him not looking at her she moves around the bar to stand before him, grabbing his face between her hands to stop him from moving. Hazel meets blue as she makes sure he understands her "And trust that I will keep one of my last promises to Opie. Too keep you grounded, to be a solid wall to slam against when you cant fucking stop yourself. Always know that i have no issues stopping you." She gives him a grin "Even if i have to break a few bones. You'll live to redeem yourself in my eyes." he gives her a very weak grin and pulls her hands from his face. Grabbing the back of her head he pulls her in to kiss her forehead. "I'm sorry in advance for breaking your heart sonshine." She remembers what she said to Tig and Chibs. "But you all wouldn't be mine if you made it easy to love you." He nods, looking past her she turns to see Chibs with a phone in his hand. "Heres Tig Jackie." Jax grabs the phone from him and heads towards the doors to church. She sighs as Bobby goes to stop him, she leans back against the bar as Bobby calls to him when he refuses. "Jax we gotta talk this shit out." The way Jax halts his steps set her on edge. And the face that turns to greet bobby isn't Jax. It's their new president, a man she is only just beginning to learn was a whole other man all together. "I said no." He closes in on bobby and she shakes off chibs as he goes to stop her. She wasn't letting shit slide anymore, she was done running. As she closes in on them she hears Jax loud and clear "Im sure the right thing will settle in. But right now if i'm alone with you VP i'll tear your goddamn head off." Getting next to them she places a hand on Jax's arm holding the phone. Keeping her eyes on Bobby who is currently watching her with dark narrowed eyes "Go talk to Tiggy jax. I got this." She felt Jax's arm tense under her hand but didn't ask why. It wasn't the time. She makes sure the door is closed behind her firmly before she speaks to the older son before her.

"Did you honestly fucking think he would want to talk? Not hours after your screwball set a shit ton of butt ugly on our heads?" The man just stares hard at her, refusing to reply. "You are obviously not thinking through shit bobby. You want this club to be better, I get that but the way you did it. Behind his back out the gate fucked up any possible trust in you as his VP." She expects him to see reason, if not the main reason Jax is angry. The new prez had fought his way through the lies of his family, the people meant to never wish you harm, found a plot to kill the mother of his children and also the possibility that his father was also murdered. By the same man. He had hoped to find a new family, build from us a family that wouldn't l harm him. That would support and the first act of his new VP is a plan behind his back. Another scheme. It was the act and the person it saved that was the hardest part to swallow for Jax. She got that, maybe Bobby just couldn't. He steps into her space, his voice the angriest she heard directed at her before. "Don't presume to tell me what I should do, Joy. At the end of the day you gave this patch up willingly to me. So stand down."

Pressing her pink nailed hands to his chest she shoves him back hard, he didn't expect it and falls back into the pool table. Her husband and Chibs make their way over as she speaks directly to Bobby. "Don't speak to me like a goddamn child Elvis. I gave that patch to a man I thought would do right by not just the club but the man who stayed to keep us all out of jail at not just his expense but his wife and children's as well. Man the fuck up and speak your fucking mind next time you have opinions. Don't pull that shit again Bobby or I swear to god I'll take you back to the table for my god damn patch back and to save trouble I'll tear it from your cut while it's still on you!" Her husband, having heard enough, wraps his large arms around her middle, locking her once waving arms to her side. She wasn't done though.  "Because I'll be damned If you hurt him or this club again." She lets her husband drag her out, the cold air makes her overheated skin break out into goosebumps. She stands next to her father's ink station in the garage. Juans hands rub her upper arms as she watches her father pull on his black gloves, her body slowly losing its tension as the machine comes alive and the buzz is a soothing note in the air. She sees two guns and arches a brow, looking at her father again she sees him holding a pair of gloves out to her and she smiles. She had learned to do tattoos by watching her dad do them. Her first tattoo she did on a body was on her father. Around his collar bone area there was a phrase "I live, I die, I kill for my family." The letters were blocky and some funny looking but he let her do it without thought and she loved him more for it then he would ever know.

Pulling the pink velvet scrunch from her wrist she holds it behind her to her husband as she grabs the other low roller chair next to her dad. Pulling on a pair of gloves like her dad he points out things and asks her to name it just to make sure her knowledge on the subject hadn't slipped. Once she proved herself to her father he goes back to setting up the ink cups. Everyone looks up as the garage office door opens, she hadn't realized the guys had trickled in during the pop quiz her father gave her. The garage was filled with sons. All eyes on Clay as he makes his way to the chair between her father and herself. When he plops down he glances at her, looking down at the black kabar on her thigh before locking eyes with her again. With a roll of her eyes she slides the kabar from its sheath and flips it mid air, grabbing the blade loosely she hands it to Clay and watches as he slides the strap of his black tank, revealing the reaper on his shoulder blade, he stabs her blade roughly into the wooden table top and she arches a brow but says nothing. No one spoke as she and her father went about roughly blocking out the reapers on the older man's skin. Blood and black ink leak onto the black gloves on her hands, making the once matte latex glint in the light. Once her part in all this is done she put the gun down, her body felt as if it had been drained, any rage or possible sympathy she felt for the man before her was gone. Seeing the once proud man reduced to a black ink splattered shell soothed a lot of the pain she carried around recently. Pulling the gloves from her hands she stands, walking over to her father she kisses the top of his tattooed skull, locking eyes with Bobby she stands to her full height. Now that the rage wasn't pounding in her ears like a heartbeat she could see the conflict and lost look in Bobby's face. She walks over, knowing her husband wasn't far behind she kisses the older man's bearded cheek and walks away. As good a sorry as she could give knowing that everything she said had truth to it. She had a sinking feeling that another change was coming. How big would that change be? Only time would tell.

Next morning (Joy Pov)

Warmth, that's the first thing she feels as she wakes, and when she finally reaches full consciousness she realizes why. Looking to her side she sees Juans pillow is missing its namesake. But looking down she sees a lump where her stomach is, it makes her grin. For a moment she looked pregnant until the lump moved and she pulled the covers up slightly and could not help but feel her heart melt a little. Her husband's head was resting below her breast, his arms curled under her back as he clutched her in a tight but comfortable grip. Watching him sleep she takes in the beauty of him, his soft skin being revealed bit by bit as she pushes the covers off of them. Making her husband curl into her more to steal more of her warmth. She brushes her fingers along the tattoo on the left side of his scalp, she knows he is slowly waking because he is nuzzling his face into her stomach. A poem comes to mind and when he looks up at her with sleepy, heavy lidded eyes, a small smile is his gift to her. She smiles as the words spill from her lips. "You're next to me and I'm half asleep, wondering what I did to deserve this moment - to deserve you. And while you're here, breathing easily. All I can think about is what I can do tomorrow to be better for you then I was today."

He gifts her with open mouth kisses along her belly button and hips over her boy shorts, his hands having pushed her sleep shirt up to her chest to get access to more bed warm skin. "Fuck i love when you do shit like that." She giggles as he speaks into her skin, his hands sliding under her lower back, forcing her to arch and her legs to fall open more as his kisses move upward. His hands shove her shirt over her head. Tossing it off the side of the bed he hovers over her as she tries to get her hair out of her face. Looking up at him she sees his once sleepy eyes are watching her. The smile on his face is blissful and only for her. Reaching her hands up she holds his face between them, the way he leans into the gentle touch pulls at her heart. Her beautiful strong husband was such a gentle man, she hoped this life wouldn't rob him of that. She would give up her humanity to protect him if she had too, as long as he was always going to be here, like this. His lips on her forehead wash away her dark thoughts like rain water.

Her eyes, which she hadn't realized had closed to prevent him seeing the pain in them blink open, seeing him watching her. "Welcome back." She cant help but sigh, which quickly turns into a gasp as he rolls them, his strong grip on her hips keep her from toppling over as he now lays with her straddling his lean hips. The way he folds his hands behind his head and smirks up at her makes her bite her lip and her cheeks flushes as his eyes take in her bare chest, even after living with and being with him he still made her body heat with a look. Moving her hair over one shoulder she lays her chest flat against her husband's, her head under his chin. His hands are now combing over her head and curling her hair around his fingers. For a moment they are still except for his fingers curling into her hair and her body rising and falling as he breathes deeply. She is slowly falling back asleep when the chest under hers vibrates as her husband speaks "Jax is up to something involving clay." Curling a fist under her chin she uses her other hand to grab the discarded blanket and pulls it back over her now naked back. "What makes you think that." He isn't upset she questioned him, in fact it made him grin. "When Jax asked me to stay behind the other day after the irish he only wanted to ask me a favor. 'I need clays gun. No questions right now. I need it.” she lifts herself up enough to get more comfortable, stretching her legs out she moves to his side to rest her head on his shoulder, looking into his eyes she arches a brow. "The one currently at the shop wrapped up in a shirt." He smirks and kisses the tip of her nose. "Yes nosy shit." She snickers and smacks his chest, he laughs and rubs the sting away. "He wanted me to get it to you. I don't know why but he wants you to put it in his side saddle on his bike." She sighs, he was plotting alone again. She was getting so fucking tried of this behind closed door shit that had been going down since the cartel popped up. She can't say Jax wasn't doing good things but the way he was doing them was gonna make her go grey. "Your right. I'll see whats up but if i'm honest we won't know much until shit pops off and we all have to drag his ass out of danger." She cups her husband's cheek and pulls him in for a kiss when her phone rings from the nightstand. She growls under her breath and reaches back for it.....let the games begin

Time Jump

Once she got to the shop things had been crazy. She barely had time to do what jax asked her but she did it. And now hours later she stood beside Nero as he spoke to the shop owner "Nero they fuck up my shop, come in and take anything they want and now Dante says we have to pay triple two for protection?!' The pretty hispanic woman sighs "I mean we all know you split but what are we supposed to do now?" Nero sighs and holds up his hands “Okay. I get it, Carmella. I'm sorry I let this happen but i'm here now. I swear." He grabs her hands and holds them "We will handle Dante, Mi vida." She tosses her cig to the street as Nero walks over to them. "So what's the plan boss man." He brushes a hand down his face. "We need to cut off the goddamn head. Dante, he's running out of a rag warehouse, two blocks, at the end of Palm. Fights are in progress." She nods, Juans hands squeezing her shoulders. "Is he there now? Anyone scooping him out?" The man next to Nero shakes his head"Not sure. All of our faces are too well known around here to play double o seven" she snickers, looking over to Jax when he taps her arm as she is the main one next to him. "Ok let the white boys and slightly tan girls." She hisses at him and smacks his shoulder. "Tan!?!? I am a light sepia goddess. You redneck Tarzan." He grins but ignores her, he continues on. "let us go in, just a few fight fans. We'll see what we're dealing with."

Nero nods and she walks over to her bike, she strips off her cutte, her black lace up side high waisted jeans cover her lower stomach, but the cute pink halter crop top with the words 'brat' shows enough of her stomach to keep her cool on this hot day. bobby asks "How big is this crew?" Nero tilts his head for a second before replying "Last i knew fifteen." She is shooting off a quick text message as the man next to him shakes his head. "Nah they have been busy. More like twenty." She is pulling off her thigh and chest holster as hands her guns to her husband since her outfit wasn't loose enough to hide anything. Nero replies "If that's true with just us it's a little light." Her phone goes off and she yanks it from her back pocket with a grin. "Think again." Everyone turns to see her waving her phone with a grin "Cholo Calvary is inbound." Her husband smirks and reaches over to pat her on the ass. "That's my girl." Making the guys chuckle as she smiles brightly, her hips doing a little wiggle at the praise. Her father reaches over to yank her head close enough to kiss her temple.

Once they get to the place and on the lift of the building the sound of dog barking makes her reach out for the closest hand. Tig grips her hand back just as hard as Bobby opens the lift door. The others scatter to different corners but she and Tiggy don't release each other as they watch with Horror as the poor dogs tear each other apart. Her mind flashes to sonny. Her sweet little prince in the dog's place and seeing the raging bloodlust on the shouting mens faces makes her stomach roll. The fight is over quick and she watch a dark skin man lift the wounded white dog and walk away. She knows what happens next. Tapping tig are rapidly she whimpers "Tiggy. We can't let him." He nods and he gives her hand a reassuring squeeze and they both follow behind them man. Not realizing the others saw them. They make it to the back and her legs give out as she sees the trash cans filled with the bodies of precious dogs. All torn and slaughtered. She doesn't realize Alex has left her until she hears him say "I'll blow your goddamn head off." Her husband and father see her on the ground and rush to her. She points to the trash cans and her husband curses and helps her off the ground. Standing between her and the trash cans he holds her face in his hands "I know baby. But we can't help them now. But you saved one. Come on." She nods and lets him drag her around the corner as Tig points behind her and Juan as Jax grabs his head to make him focus "Look at this shit its so wrong." Jax nods "I know but it's not what we are here for." Walking over she grabs Tigs gun from him gently. He locks eyes with her and she nods to the beautiful dog in the kiddy pool by her feet who was licking her father's hand as he spoke softly to it. "Watch her." He nods and she walks over to the man knelt on the ground. Pressing the gun between his eyes she arches a brow "One question dickbag. Dante. Where is he?" The man points behind him "Through there. Uses the supply room as an office." She nods and hands the gun to Tig. "Piss off. And leave the dog." The man takes off as she kneels down to gently hold the dogs face in her hands. Smiling as the dog licks her cheek. "Hello love. My friend phil here is gonna carry you to your ride ok. Your not gonna fight anymore." The dog keeps licking her face and Jax taps her arm "Let's go mother pupresa. We got work to put in." She nods to phil and takes her glocks from her husband as she stands. Making her way in she sees Chibs break the lock and all hell breaks loose. Her father levels a man rushing them and she holds her guns on Dontae as Jax yells. "Put the guns down!" Dante just stares and she smirks, getting in front of him she holds one gun to his head the other to his dick. "Cough wrong. Give me a reason." He curls his lip but tells them to lower the guns she hears Jax yell and she naturally runs, smart move on her part as the room floods with Dantes crew as he yells

"I WANT THE BITCH. KILL THE OTHERS!" Making it outside she sees the gate bust open. And moves to the side as Nero and his crew take out of a few of the men following behind. The remainder of Dante's crew are quickly held down by the Mayans. She laughs and they roll through on their bikes whooping and shouting. "Fucking love you crazy bastards!" Her joy is short lived as Dante and another man run back inside and lock the door. She takes off at a full sprint as she yells over her shoulder "Dantes running. TAKE DOWN THE REST." It's quiet as nero,chibs, jax and herself move around the high stacks of boxes. All of them take different paths she is just about to turn down another way when the sound of a punch makes her take off back behind her she sees Chibs as he stabs the man who was with Dante. Using all her body weight she shoves him against one of the boxes, her fists crack against his cheek and temple. He grabs her by the hair making her shriek but the pain is short lived as he is yank off of her by Jax. She watches with glee as the man's face is shoved into a bag of nails. His screams making shudder at the agony in them, but her mind flashes back to the trash cans of dogs and she feels nothing again. They all jump into action as Nero's voice fills the warehouse "He's running!" They take off towards the sound. Shs stares at Neros back as he takes off after Dante and finally catches him at a window. She releases a short burst of laughter as Nero laughs as he pushes Dante through the window. Mother fucker was nuts. Once they all get through the window she sees a woman yanked from her van. But lucky her own dog was inside. And currently using Dante as a chew toy. Nero holds the door with his body and she leans next to him with a smirk. "That's gonna leave a mark." She leans down to watch the dog as Jax chuckles, punching her arm as she coos at the dog "Whos a good protector. You are. Good doggo." Nero heaves a sigh, his lip twitching as he tries not to laugh "We should probably let him out yeah?" Chibs smirks "That would be the good catholic thing to do." She snorts and shakes her head "I'm neither good nor Catholic so i guess he is puppy chow." All the guys around her laugh.

Back at Teller Morrow

When they got back to the club house phil, tig and herself went straight to the pool table with Dr.Chibs. She laid on her side on top of the pool table as the dog rested next to her, she gently brushed a hand over her ears and head as Chibs worked on the animal's leg wound. Her husband's hands grip and rub her thigh as he stands behind her. He knew she was shaken seeing so many dead animals. Killer his wife may be but when it came to animals. She was so sensitive to them. Thats where her and Tig bonded alot. She reaches down to grip one of her husband's hands in Silent thanks as she coos to the dog as it whimpers. "Its ok baby. Chibs is just gonna make you all better. I know it hurts." Tig pats her arm as Jax walks over "So that was one of Nero's boys. He found the breeder who is supplying the dogs. Wants us to shut it down." She nods and sits up as Tig replies "I'll gut that bitch." She grabs her bowie knife of the coffee table "i call his balls." The guys all shifted a little at that, knowing she wasn't joking. She and Tig grab their weapons of choice on the table and head for the door. Just as Chibs speaks "Lets go." Jaxs stops him "I'm gonna take Tig and Joy." Chibs shakes his head "Notta chance. You don't know what your walkin into." Jax stands firm and soon enough they are pulling. Up to a warehouse. She and tig strip off their helmets and walk ahead of Jax just as she hears a gun be cocked.

She reaches for her own but Jax's voice stops her making her turn to see the one thing she never wanted to see. One gun trained on her, another on Tig....and Jax holding both. Her face pales as Tig tries to move towards Jax and Jaxs hisses at him "Dont fucking move. Either of you." Her hands shake as she holds them up. He locks eyes with hers and nods "All weapons down. And kick yours away Joy your aim is too good to trust." She and Tig follow instructions. She keeps quiet as Tigs breathing picks up and he finally yells "What is going on Jax!?" She hears the approach of a car and her eyes narrows at the unmistakable Rolls Royce kicking up dirt and it all clicks into place. How they got out, how tig made it out with them. Jax was gonna go in but Opie some how did it first......Tig was always the chip. Because of what happened with clay. Forcing Tig to take action and kill Pope daughter. To do what he thought was right. Once again Clays lies were catching up to them.

Her rage is violent as she yanks Tig back behind her and Snarls at Jax "I'll kill you if they touch him. Ill fucking kill you all." Tigs arm wraps around her shoulder as she shakes, Gripping his arm she eyes the men getting out of the car as Tig groans. "Jax no. Come on man." Jax shakes his head "I'm sorry." She seethes "No. But you will be." Pope snaps and two men appear next to them. She and Tig are ripped apart and she shrieks, she is held back as the other man searches Tig. She is then searched herself before being tossed back at Tig. She wraps her arms around his middle. Gripping onto the man for dear life, her body shakes as Tig combs a hand over her head. Trying to calm her in a moment when she should be comforting him "Your really gonna give me to him Jax? After what he did to my Daughter. Its could have been Able, fuck it could have been sonshine here if hap had done it you bastard!" Jax yells at Pope to shut tig up and she crumbles to the ground with Tig his kidney is hit from the back. Using her legs she kicks out at the man who hurt Tig "Leave us alone you Bastard i swear to god ill bathe in your entrails for this." She is dragged away from Tig by her legs, she lands a kick and crawls back to him sobbing. He holds her on the ground with him as Jax speaks to Marks. He rocks her "Don't cry kid. Please kid don't cry." She grips a hand into his cutte. Whimpering when she and Tig are both pulled up from the ground. "Tie him up on the garage." She shrieks as he is being pulled away but Jaxs stops him "I want the Cutte." She growls and jerks in the arms holding her back. "Have you not taken enough from him Jackson for Christ Sake!?" The man approaches Tig and she struggles more "Please." The men stop, staring at the shaking and sobbing woman, for once looking her young age and her Golden eyes lock with Pope. "Let me take it off him. I'm all he has left." She was surprised when pope nods. Walking over on shaking legs she looks at the two men on either side of Alex. He reaches up and holds her face in his hands. Giving her forehead a hard kiss he whispers. "i love you kid. Best friend i ever had." She whimpers and slides the Cutte from his shoulders. He is instantly jerked away from her and into the warehouse. Her legs give out and someone catches her, apart of her knows it's Jax and she wants to struggle but she can't. Crushed under the weight of losing another brother all she can do is sob "Alex......Tiggy." Jax buries his head into the side of her hair and she hears him talking. She tries to stop sobbing and shaking to hear him "Trust me. Its hard but trust me ill fix it i promise." She pushes him away and stands. Clutching tigs cutte to her chest she watches Jax with narrow and tear swollen eyes as he walks over to his saddle bag and something clicks. Clays gun. As tumblers fall into place she watches Jaxs in slow motion as he paints the side of Popes car red with brain matter. Seeing him race into the warehouse she uses the hand not clutching the cutte to grab a silenced glock and runs after him. Seeing him take out one of Pope men she kills the other. Tig, who was thankfully alive, rams Pope as he tries to shoot them. Falling his gun lands at her feet, holding her gun on him she grins wildly "Do it. I dare you." He jerks and Jax appears at her side to grab the gun on the floor. She watches Jax as he hands Clays gun to Tig. Pope growls at Jax "You redneck bitch. Do you have any idea what will happen to who ever kills me?" A small smile ticks up Jaxs lip "Im counting on it."

She moves away as Tig blows Pope brains out the back of his skull. Walking over to Alex she wraps her arms around him. His arm not holding the gun grips her cutte. Hearing movement next to her she lifts her head, her gun held between Jaxs forth and fifth rib. "Give me one reason not to kill you prez. One."  He holds his hands up "I couldn't tell either of you. He would have picked up on it if Tig was off or if joy wasnt like she was. You know that." She did but the Image of Jaxs holding a gun on her still made her gun hand shake "He could have shot him right away Jax. Then what!?" Jax nods "But he didnt. I know that's not the best thing to say but he didnt and the plan worked. Im so fucking sorry to do that but i had to be done. We would never be free. Tig wouldn't get closure." Logic, sense, it was shooty but planned out. Pope dies at the hands of a man she and Jax want dead more than anything. And with Pope being an OG the bounty would be set and Clay would be dead before his hearing. Releasing Tig she lets him hug Jax, their eyes locked over the man's shoulder. Today something changed. Today she saw how far Jax was willing to go on his own. And she didn't know how to feel about it

The club house

Sitting across from her husband in their old room he stares in wild eyed shock as she nods, her wet hair dripping onto the sheets. She had felt so dirty when they got back that she had passed everyone and went upstairs to shower. Now dressed in some cotton shorts and a hoodie she lights up a blunt, inhaling deeply. She told him everything, her father would be next but she needed Juan right now. "Jesus baby. I didn't know he was going to…..i.....i never would have let you go with him alone if i knew." She lets him yank her onto his lap, her legs thrown over the side as She held out the blunt for him, he tilts his head and lets her hold it for him as he inhales. His hands to busy rubbing and gripping her legs, sides, her face as he tries to calm himself. Holding his inhale he replies "I love you baby. Im so fucking sorry you had to live that. Fuck i could strangle him. Was Opie not enough?" She exhales the smoke along with him. Filling the room with the smell of gas and apple wrapping paper "Apart of me knows he was right. Pope would sniff out a fake performance for a mile. But i feel so hollowed out. I know tig is alive, i know Jax didn't really betray either of us but i still feel it." She waves a hand "Maybe it's that i feel used by him. And that alone makes me feel dirty."  He nods and presses his lips to her forehead. Taking the blunt from her he takes another hit. "And your allowed to feel how ever the fuck you please. Jax knew what might happen if he did this. Trust and loyalty only go so far until the broken pieces just don't fit right anymore. So your going to heal from this. And i'll be right here if Jax has anything to say i'll handle him." She cant help but grin watching her husband blow smoke off to the side, his jaw tight and sharp she cant help but draw her tongue along its shape making him look at her with wide eyes. "You have no idea how hot you look when your angry daddy." he chuckles and shakes his head, taking in her low lids and dopey smile. "And you're cute when you're a high and horny baby." She snorts as his hands and rests her head on his shoulder as he takes the last deep hit from the blunt before tossing the roach into the ash tray to break down later. She uses her hand to turn his head as he gets ready to blow the smoke out. He smirks and fists a hand into her hair, his other hand palms her bare breast over the hoodie as he blows the smoke into her mouth.

*She couldn't hold it as she moans, her skin was sensitive and her mind was only focused on his hands. She scrambles out of his lap and crawls up the bed, but she doesn't get far as quickly grabs her ankle and yanks her back with a chuckle. "Where do you think your going?" She takes her bottom lip between her teeth as she tries not to smile. He yanks his shirt over his head and crawls over her, her fingertips ghost up his sides as he claims her mouth. She could taste the weed on his tongue, and that ever present mint. She groans as his lips leave hers but she arches as he pushes the hoodie up to expose her bare chest to his eyes. Leaning down his tongue circles one nipple before blowing on it, making her still shower warm skin break out into goosebumps. He presses his face into her sternum and drags his tongue along the anarchy A that rests there as his hand slides down onto her shorts, she feels his grin when he finds no panties in his way. She is hot and slick as he slides two thick fingers inside. "Yes touch me!"

He lays on his side, his arm propping his head up as he watches her writhe and moan as his pace picks up. Pressing his nose against her temple his lips brush her ears as he speaks lowly. "Do you have any idea how sexy you look like this?" She shakes her head, her eyes wide and glazed as she stares up at the ceiling, one hand rolling her own nipple, the other gripping his forearm, the feel of his muscles moving under his skin as his fingers fuck into her driving her higher. "Legs spread wide for me. Wet little pussy gripping my fingers like you never want me to stop." She shuddered and groans "I don't want you to stop. Please daddy. Fuck me?" He smirks and removes his fingers much to her dismay. As she turns to pout her mouth falls open as she watches him suck his cum covered fingers into his mouth. She quickly strips off her shorts and reaches for his pants and belt. He chuckles at her enthusiasm and she swats his stomach making him curl up and laugh harder. She giggles and stops trying to strip him. "Your such a dork Juan." He nods and reaches down to quickly undo his own pants, sitting up he leans his back against the headboard and shoves his pants down enough to free himself and yanks her onto his lap. Holding his cock steady he lets her slide down onto it, watching her face as her eyes fall closed at the stretch. Her hands gripping his neck and shoulders as she grinds down onto him. "Jesus you feel so good."

His hands slide up the sides of her smooth thighs to her waist, the hoodie pulls up with his hands until her lower half is exposed, her rocking hips in full view, using his hands he slowly starts to set the pace. His eyes taking in the image she made. Sun streaming through the window made her bronze skin glow, her wet curls bounced as she rode him. Lips red and kiss swollen from his lips. One of his hands leaves her waist to grab her jaw making her blink her eyes open.. "Open your eyes baby. I want to see them as you cum." Her brow is drawn and she can't control the sounds falling from her mouth, but she nods. Her hands claw at his shoulders and he gives in, needing to hold her closer, his arms wrap around her yanking her to fall into his chest. She places her hands on the wall next to his shoulders and starts to quake over him. Her lips trimble and he releases her hips and grabs her face in his hands. "Your close aren't you baby." She nods, a whine falling from her lips. She watches him watch her as she rides him as hard as she can. Her body was so close but she couldn't reach it. "Juan.....can't."

He grins and moves a hand down between them, his thumb strokes her clit and she shudders with a cry. "Come on baby. Want that pretty pussy to come. Come Joy." She groans and her bodie tenses, her thighs quivering against his hips as she arches. His thumb keeps up its circling. Making her jerk and dig her nails into his shoulder, with a growl he jerks up into her hard. Forcing a breathless cry from her.

"Do that again I'm gonna get you pregnant." He says it through clenched teeth and closed eyes but the way her fingers freeze for a second before digging harder. His head jerks up and he stares at joy. Her eyes were glazed and her lip was between her teeth as she slowly rolled her hips down onto him. Her body jerked every once in a while as his thumb pressed down hard. He watches her for a second and he smirks. "You want my baby inside you Joy?" She nods and he growls, his hands hold her waist as he pushes her back. Keeping himself inside her as he gets her on her back. His forearms hold her legs back as he pounds into her, her head is tossed back as she screams. The thought of pumping her full, watching her stomach grow. Fuck he was close. Looking down at her he he groans "Look at me." She whimpers and forces her eyes open. The hazel eyes staring up at him look so gold in the light from the sun outside and he pants. "I want my baby to have your eyes."

Her back arches violently off the bed as her whole body quakes under him, a flood of her juices soak his cock and her grip is so tight he can't hold off as it milks him. Shooting inside her he groans, laying on his side he rolls her to join him.* His lips brush her forehead as they both pant, he watches the light slowly fade from the room. His mind clear and his body lax he barely hears his wife as she whispers. "I want them to have yours Juan." He grins, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "Guess we are spending the night. Good thing Tig got Sunny from the house. He will be good for Tigs dog i think." She nods, looking down at her body and his she giggles at his boot clad feet on the pillow. "No shoes in bed you street rat." He chuckles and slowly pulls away from her, his limp cock sliding from her making her hiss and narrow her eyes at him. "Don't give me that look. No shoes in bed." She rolls her eyes and reaches over the side of the bed to get her discarded shorts. Pulling them on she shoots a text to Tig to  feed Sonny for her and plugs up her phone to charge.

Curling up she drifts until Juan returns and from the smell of his skin he showered, but she doesn't have much time to think more on it as she finally slips under. She jerks what she feels isn't a moment later but when she opens her eyes she sees nothing. Pitch black and the sound of Juans snoring and her phone going off. With a groan she grabs it and rolls onto her back. "Hello?" She sits up straight at the voice on the other line, making Juans arm draped across her stomach fall off. Waking him with a grunt as he looks around. "We have a problem Joy." She feels a cold feeling settle in the pit of her stomach as she replies "Jax what's wrong?"

Jax's House

Their bikes couldn't move fast enough, she barely puts down the kick stand before running towards the house, she stops short as she hears her name being yelled. Looking over she sees Tara and she races for her, her eyes stinging as Tara looks up at her with bright wet eyes. "What do you need me to do." Tara looks past her for a moment, she was worried she might have gone into shock but when Tara looks back at her she is all there. Her lips move and Joy focuses on them to read her lips and her face hardens as she gets what she says "Protect them from her." She nods and brings her fingers to her lips to press a kiss to them before smacking them on the window and walking towards the house shouldering past officer's as she went, hearing Teddy stop them from grabbing her. She pats his arm as she passes into the house. Finding Jax sitting at the kitchen table, Able rushes to her side and she lifts him up and sits him on her hip as he presses his wet face against her soft hoodie. Juan presses a kiss to the side of Ables head before going to get Thomas who was crying in the back room.

She bounces on her feet to rock Able, the hand not holding the child up is rested on Jax's shoulder as he holds his head in his hands. "She gave me papers...naming You and Juan guardians of our kids, if something happens. I signed them as they knocked to come get her. What are we going to do Joy?" She sighs, resting her cheeks against the child's cheek. "What you are going to do is leave this to Lowen. This is her area, do what the fuck she and Tara ask of you. Tara isnt stupid, she knew what this life meant when she stayed Jax. All you can do is stand by her like me and her did for you and Juan while she is inside. Stay the course, and get the fuck out of Charming the second you can. You hear me?" He nods, his hand reaches up to grip hers. If he had looked up he would have noticed her eyes weren't on him, but the door. Locked in the gaze of another woman. Gemma glares at her and she stands her ground, she wasn't scared of Gemma. But Gemma should be scared of what she has just done, because karma is a bitch. And she was its Messenger. Gemma would answer for this if it was the last thing Joy did.

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That’s this new chapter. Im working on the next one as we speak. again thank you all for hanging with me. 

[zairehyun-blog]

do ask memes :o

ALL OF THEM!? ON THE ENTIRE WEBSITE!? no but since i love you i will ~

Halloween asks : done

‘Let’s get personal’: done

Sweet asks:

vanilla - how has your week been?

An honest to god mess, but that’s okay. It’ll get better soon~

chocolate - what do you crave right now?

Attention.

red velvet - what type of music do you like?

All tbh

ice cream - if you were an animal, what kind would you be?

I WOULD BE RILAKKUMA (u may be like zaire that’s not an animal. shhh let me be rilakkuma)

cake - describe your ideal location

like.. im just gonna say what i consider home

new zealand or osaka 💫

mocha - what are three things that make you feel warm inside?

my bby

the stars

writing abt my day at night

frosting - describe your appearance

uhm Mmmm i don’t know how i would.

marshmallow - do you sleep with plushies? if so, which are your favorites?

I DO INDEED i sleep with my moomin

sorbet - describe an ideal summer day

Going on adventures ;; especially car rides n stuff like that ✨

butterscotch - describe an ideal autumn day

going outside and walking around and the cold wind n i m happy it’s autumn 🍂

caramel - describe an ideal winter day

DRINKING HOT CHOCOLATE AND WATCHING TV IN AN OVERSIZED SWEATER WHILE IT SNOWS AND THEN GOING OUTSIDE TO PLAY IN THE SNOW ❄️

pecan - describe an ideal spring day

sitting outside n just enjoying all the flowers c”:

mint - what’s new in your life?

my bby

pie - “home is where…”

he is

macaroon - list three things you feel inspired to do

draw again

to cosplay

2 mAKE HOT CHOCOLATE NOW

Send me a number:

1: where are you from?

I was born in London but I was raised in New Zealand

2: how old are you?

I’m 18

3: when is your birthday?

March 13th

4: what is your favorite music genre?

It all depends on my mood

5: religious?

Yes

6: do you believe in ghosts?

Yes

7: would you want to be immortal?

Yes and no, I would hate to lose everyone who isn’t but I would love to see how the world will evolve idk

8: favorite book?

Alice in Wonderland

9: favorite song?

MIC DROP ASJGHSD

10: favorite band/singer?

I have too many but between bts and exo :3

11: sexual preference?

Indifferent to gender

12: virgin? If not, how old were you when you had sex for the first time?

No & 16

13: do you drink, if yes, tell me what?

Nah.

14: do you smoke?

No

15: ever did drugs?

No

16: ever visit a festival?

Yes

17: do you have pets? tell me about them!

I have 2 cats ✨

Ayumu & Kiyoshi

18: how many countries have you been to?

A lot , my dads travel 2 much

19: do you speak another language besides english? If yes, write a sentence in that language!

Korean - 안녕 사랑해!

Japanese - やあ、君を愛している！

and Arabic - مرحبا انا احبك!

They all say Hi, I love you! C:

20: vegan, vegetarian or meat eater?

21: be creative! write a short story about something that comes into your mind!

ASGIJSDHKJf i hate

one day we all heard zayn left the band and it was the worst day ever like they had a song called the best day ever no bitch this is the worst day ever and we all went 2 bed and it was all a mutual dream we all had (WTF WAS THIS ASKJGHKSD)

22: put your iPod on shuffle and tell me the first 10 songs

i don’t have my phone near me either

23: grab the nearest book and give me the last sentence of page 124

I have no books near me....

24: tell me about your crush

i’m answering his ask

25: any weird habits?

If i get scared i start sucking on the back of my thumb

26: ever been rude to a teacher?

Yeah

27: ever talked to yourself?

I always do...

28: extrovert or introvert?

In the middle

29: the most embarrassing moment in your life?

WHEN MY DAD GOT DRUNK AND STARTED FLIRTING wITH MY OTHER DAD AND WAS LIKE “u single”

and my other dad said “no.” and MY daD cRIEd AJHKGDS

30: what keeps you going?

🍯 you c: 🍯

31: ever thought about suicide?

Always

32: do you suffer from a mental illness?

Yeah

33: I'm bored, tell me something funny that happened to you!

I once fell down a flight of stairs because I thought someone was walking up them and I wanted to beat them, but like as I was falling I realised I was walking downstairs and no one was there.

34: your 5 favorite blogs

1. @spook-hyun

2. @lucidyeol

3. @hosvoks

4. @ultchen

5. any suggestion blog tbqh

35: 10 facts about yourself

1. I can bend my pinky all the way back lmao

2. It took me one night to learn Korean :’)

3. I’m a self taught artist

4. the first cat I ever had, I randomly found and I nursed him back to health and he never left me C:

5. I used to want to be a vet/or just someone around animals at all times

6. I used to live by the ocean and yet i’m lowkey afraid of it askJGHKSD

7. I started this blog as a safe space ✨

8. I have a twin sister who’s older than me by a minute

9. I have a younger sister who still calls me her little brother....

10. i’m madly in love

36: 3 things you like about yourself

Nothing

37: 3 things you hate about yourself

Everything

38: biggest turn on?

AHEH IM NOT DISCLOSING THAT I have a stalker who’s gonna try shit so no

29: biggest turn off?

someone who’s controlling. ;e; like i get if you’re like warning me abt something but if you’re like thisthen yeah fuck off.

30: when did you join tumblr?

January 2014

Luxury Asks:

bubble bath: do you have any routines before bedtime? like skin care, etc. what are they?

AHA YALL READY FOR THIS

I wash my face n then i brush my teeth and then i put lotion on and i change and then i drink green tea and watch anime lmao and that’s it

champagne: what topic could you talk about for hours?

You

crushed velvet: have you ever used your charm to get something you want?

AHEH HOW DO U THINK I GOT HYUN

diamonds: how do you feel about excessively spending money?

I mean, if it’s for a shopping spree for good reason (like u got cheated on and are trying to make yourself happy) then yeah, but if you do it everyday then no

faux fur: describe your wardrobe.

lots of oversized sweaters and jeans and cosplay outfits

glitter: describe someone special to you.

His eyes look like honey when the sun shines on them and every time it happens I fall in love

gold: describe what you would call the most perfect meal.

mY DADS KIMCHI COME FOR ME

jazz: name a song that resonates with you and your emotions. explain the reason why.

Go go because 

“I want to be cruisin’ on the bayI want to be cruisin’ like NemoNo money but I wanna go far awayI don’t have money but I wanna relaxNo money but I wanna eat Jiro Ono’s sushi

Worked hard to get my payGonna spend it all on my stomachPinching pennies to spend it all on wasting itLeave me be, even if I overspendEven if I break apart my savings tomorrowLike a crazy guy”

lace: what is something in your life completely different from last year?

My happiness

lingerie: do you consider yourself a promiscuous person?

If I remember the definition correctly 

kinda? but I stopped being that way

lipstick: do you enjoy talking to strangers?

n...no not at all lmAO unless it’s like at a comic con or something like that then yeah

pearls: what's something about your personality that surprises others?

I open up to people when I feel comfortable with them, like, I seem really shy and reserved but I open up to everyone I meet as long as I’m comfortable. 

penthouse: what would you consider your dream home? describe it.

AAAH my old house

perfume: if you could make your own signature fragrance, what would it smell like?

Ironically my cologne is really strong but it’s not so strong you’re like *dies inside*, it’s like, it’s strong so you remember it and if you smell it somewhere, you’re like “Zaire?”

robe: how do you prepare for an evening alone with a loved one/date?

I HYPE MYSELF UP AND THEN I GET READY LMAO

roses: If it had to be winter, autumn, spring or summer for the rest of your life, which would you choose?

AUTUMN AUTUMN AUTUMN LIKE 

AUTUMN ABT TO TURN WINTER YES

satin: what is your most favorite article of clothing?

this oversized as FUcK black sweater that says “fuck off” in japanese on the sleeves asghsdjkfl 

sheet mask: what's your favorite lazy activity?

drinking tea while watching anime

silk: do you have more inner or outer beauty?

Inner

silver: do you have any obscure hobbies? what are they?

I’ll draw on the wall and then i’ll paint over it??? unless i rlly rlly like it

sparkling water: what are your top three songs for the summer?

ew summer

wine: what kind of drunk are you (happy/affectionate, angry, sad, fun/wild)? if you don't drink, what kind do you think you WOULD be?

Well, 

one dad acts all normal and like he’s not drunk and he makes perfect sense and he’s fully aware of everything and can walk perfectly and cook

my biological dad on the other hand is all emotional and affectionate n happy n soft lMAO so i guess i’d be like my biological dad

wow bby i hope you enjoyed this