#im gonna try and slowly get through all of them — i cant promise i 100% will becaus theres at least 60-70 new asks that ive never seen

[mlkbwunnies]

HELLO ???? so i just opened my inbox on mobile ( i typically open inbox on web ) and now i have a ton of unanswered asks that never came through sitting in my inbox ??????? oh my God ????

[sodasback]

Let Go - Part 3

Reposting from my deleted acct.

Warnings: physical violence

That night you got a text from JJ’s number.

JJ: Hey Y/N, it’s Pope. I stole JJ’s phone and he’s trying to kill me over it right now. 

JJ: Anyway, he hasn’t stopped talking about you. Just thought you should know.

JJ: Don’t let him hide you from us. 

JJ: Kay gotta go, can’t breathe, bye

You laughed out loud at Pope’s texts and swooned over the fact that JJ was talking about you to his friends and that the Pogues, or Pope at least, seemed like he wanted to hangout with you.Then more texts came through. 

JJ: Sry pope doesnt kno wut hes talking about. ignore him. 

JJ: i cant let ur head get any bigger knowing tht im simping for u over here. I’ll have to put u in ur place again.😉

Y/N: Is that place on my knees in front of you?

JJ: ugh stop. ur gonna make me hard and wer on the boat

Y/N: Hey you started it

JJ: Yeah well I’ll finish it too when i see u tmrw pretty girl

Y/N: You better 😈

JJ: ur killin me smalls 🍆

You went to sleep that night blissfully happy. But you woke up full of dread knowing you had to breakup with Rafe. 

You texted him telling him that you needed to see him and talk. He seemed to know something was up, but he told you to meet him at your favorite park in Figure 8. 

Before you left to meet him, you texted JJ that you were meeting Rafe. And then you shared your location with him. You had a feeling JJ would end up being close by, but you frowned when he didn’t text back and thought maybe you should call him. No, it’ll be fine. Rafe doesn’t need to know what happened. I’ll just end it and it’ll be fine.

 You pulled up to the park and saw Rafe....

You had worn a hoodie, because it was the only thing you had that would really cover all the hickeys, that you also tried, pretty unsuccessfully, to cover with make-up.

“Hey beautiful” he greeted you softly from his spot seated at a bench and kissed your cheek as you sat down next to him. You were ashamed of yourself that you still felt a warm fuzzy feeling despite the fact that Rafe didn’t you treat you right and JJ already showed you more affection in such a short time.

“Hey doll” you greeted back out of habit.

You and Rafe were both quiet for a minute, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. You and Rafe enjoyed the scenery and the nearby fountain in silence.

“It’s over huh?” He asked solemnly, still looking off in the distance at first and then to you.

“Yeah” You admitted with a sigh before continuing, “I think we’re just growing apart and maybe we’re not the best for one another.” You said slowly.

You hated yourself for saying it that way, for not calling Rafe out on everything. And you hated yourself for not being 100% truthful that you cheated. But a part of you still loved him and a bigger part of you was just trying to survive this without a screaming match or something worse.

Rafe nodded and offered a small smile.

“I’ll always love you though. You know that right?” He said, squeezing your hand gently.

You melted a little. Rafe really could be the boyfriend you needed ...sometimes.

“Me too” is all you said with a gentle smile.

Rafe sighed and stood up. He opened his arms out for a hug. You stepped in and wrapped your arms around his waist. 

That wasn’t so bad you thought as you breathed in his cologne one last time and savored being in his arms for a second.

You felt Rafe shift a little and playing with the hood of your sweatshirt.

“Why’re you wearing a hoodie?” He asked, with genuine intrigue in his voice. You felt your heart stop and you tried to stop yourself from sweating more than you already were. You swallowed hard and then cleared your throat, trying to act casual.

“Just was a little chilly earlier.” You stated simply, pulling away from Rafe. Who looked at you skeptically. 

“It’s July. It’s hot as fuck out. There’s no way you’re cold.” He said tugging at the hem of the jacket. You pushed his hands away. 

“Rafe stop. I wanna keep it on. I’m cold.” You said, trying to squirm away from him. He firmly grabbed hold of both your wrists and pulled you towards him a little, motivating you to look up at his now deeply disbelieving expression. The furrow in his brow, made you nervous and you bit the inside of your cheek. You could see the gears turning in his head as he registered your very guilty and scared demeanor you couldn’t hide.

“Why’re you wearing a jacket, Y/N?” He asked in a sternly dangerous tone that gave you goosebumps. Your breathing started getting heavy. 

“Rafe” You warned nervously. 

His jaw became clenched. And he forcefully ripped the hemline of your pullover upward and wrenched your arm out one of the sleeves. 

“Rafe! Stop!” You yelled at him as you tried to squirm away but he manhandled you and harshly tugged your hoodie the rest of the way off and threw it on the ground, leaving you in your sports bra, completely exposing the hickeys on your neck and chest. You quickly tried to cover yourself and reach down for your hoodie at the same time, but Rafe grabbed your forearms again, hard enough to leave bruises. 

Fuck. Where’s JJ when you need him?

Rafe looked you up and down before tightening his grip on your arms. “You little fucking whore.” He swore through gritted teeth. 

“Rafe you’re hurting me.” You said with a whiny tone you couldn’t hold back.

“You’re just cold, huh? I can’t believe you fucked another guy, you cheating slut!” He spat as he throttled you.

“Rafe calm down.” You said, trying not to cry. God, JJ, please come. “I’m sorry, okay?”

“You’re sorry?! You’re sorry?!” Rafe laughed darkly, before moving a hand to your throat, but not fully squeezing yet. “You cheat on me and all you can say is you’re sorry?!” 

“Rafe! Please!” You begged, tears now welling up in your eyes. 

“Who’d you let fuck you, Y/N? Hmm? Who marked you up knowing you were mine?”

“Rafe, please let go!” You cried. 

“Tell me who it was, Y/N!” He growled at you in a way that made your blood run cold and he started to squeeze your throat. You clawed at his hand and his arm as he cut off your airway. 

“Cameron!” JJ yelled as he ran over to you. Rafe was caught off guard and let go of your throat. You collapsed to the ground gasping for air. JJ immediately was at your side. 

“Y/N! Are you okay? Go to your car, now.” JJ told you. But you stayed in your position, mostly out of necessity, given the fact you couldn’t breathe. 

“You’ve gotta be kidding me” Rafe said. “You cheated on me with this fucking piece of shit pogue?!” He asked you, as JJ stood up and faced him. 

“Leave. Now.” JJ told Rafe.

Rafe snorted, “Or what?” He challenged, stepping towards JJ.

Right then, police sirens went off. All 3 of you turned to see a Kildare County Sheriff SUV and Shoupe step out.

“Is there a problem gentleman?” Shoupe asked them walking towards the 3 of you.

Rafe and JJ were glaring at each other. You took the opportunity to put your hoodie back on.

Finally, Rafe said, “No problem here officer.” As he didn’t take his eyes off JJ, daring him to rat him out.

“Looks like you’re on the wrong side of town, Mr. Maybank. Everything okay Miss Y/L/N?” Shoupe asked.

“Yeah, JJ came to take me home. Rafe was just leaving.” You said.

By now, Shoupe had taken notice of the red mark on your neck and the fact you were on the ground with a defensive JJ in between you and Rafe. It was very obvious what had been going on.

“Mr. Cameron, I think you should head on home now.” Shoupe said. And you internally rolled your eyes. Of course, Shoupe would let Rafe just leave.

Rafe just glared at JJ.

“Rafe.” Shoupe said more firmly.

“I’ll see you soon Y/N, Maybank.” He promised in a dangerous tone before turning toward his car.

JJ watched him leave with his fists clenched. Once Rafe was driving away, JJ took a deep breath and pulled you into a tight hug.

“Miss Y/L/N, do you need to see a doctor?” Shoupe asked.

“No, I’m fine.” You said from JJ’s arms.

“Alright. You 2 take care, now.” Shoupe said as both an apology and a warning getting back in his car.

Now, it was just you and JJ. He was still holding you tight. “Are you okay?” He asked softly, glancing down at you. You nodded but kept your head tight to his chest squeezing his waist and cried a little. 

You only let yourself cry for a second and then sucked it up and when you sniffled, JJ held you back a little so he could look at you. He checked your expression and waited for you to nod as he slowly and gently pulled the collar of your hoodie down a little so he could see your neck.

A pained grimace appeared on JJ’s face and anyone looking at him could have probably seen his heart break in front of them as he looked at your injury.

You might have JUST admitted feelings for each other yesterday, but you couldn’t explain it. You and JJ felt right. It was young summer love, a whirlwind romance where you both fell hard and fast. And the fact that he was partly at fault for the huge hematoma forming on your neck, the fact Rafe quite literally could have killed you made JJ feel like crumbling.

“I’m gonna kill him.” JJ said to himself more than you. “Fuck, I’m so sorry Y/N.” 

“JJ. This is not your fault. Okay? Rafe is the one who had his hand around my neck not you.” You said with your hands holding his face. 

“But I-”

“No! Stop! I’m telling you this isn’t your fault. And I’m fine. See? I’m in one piece.”

JJ almost had tears spilling out. 

“I promise.” You reassured him. He closed his eyes and nodded. 

“So you taking me out on a date or what, Maybank?” You asked, desperately just wanting to see JJ’s face free of anguish again. He smiled a little and sniffled. 

“Yeah, I’m taking you out. Give me your keys.” He said smiling.

“Uh uh” You tsked, “You think I’m gonna let you drive my Porsche? I’ve seen you take a turn in John B’s van on 2 wheels. I’m not letting you behind the wheel of my baby.” 

“Fine” JJ pouted. But then he snatched the keys from your hand and mimicked the shocked look on your face and taunted you. 

“JJ!” You shouted reaching for the keys, but he held them out of reach from you. 

“Ooh sucks to be short, huh Y/N?” He said as he stumbled to your car still holding you back from the keys. 

“JJ.” You said seriously. “Give. Me. My. Keys.” He just looked at you waiting for you to threaten something as he stood next to the driver’s door. “Give me my keys or I’m not sucking your dick for a month.” You threatened. 

“Pfft” JJ scoffed, “Like you could go a month without begging for my cock down your throat? Bet” He said, nodding his chin up at you. You contemplated it and you knew he was probably right. You furrowed your brow. 

“I swear to god, if you crash my car, I will kill you Maybank.” You said as you walked to the passenger’s. 

“Whoo!” JJ cheered before awkwardly crawling into your front seat. “Jesus, your seat’s so close to the wheel!” He complained throwing the seat back and fixing all the mirrors. 

“JJ! You are fucking up all my stuff!” You yelled at him and punched him in the arm. He ignored you and revved the engine. 

“Ooofff” JJ groaned, “this is making me so horny. Can we have sex later?” 

You glared at him. 

“You’re eating me out for at least an hour for stealing my car.” You folded your arms and looked out the front windshield. JJ leaned over and pecked your cheek. 

“My pleasure baby.” he said, throwing your car in drive and screeching the tires. 

“JJ!”

Taglist: @moniamaybank @hernameisnoell @moonrisebeach @abbyj1822 @october-cameron @railmerafe

[duelofthefatesmp3]

i DO actually wanna know how youd make kotor 3 !!!!!

this ask has been sitting on my inbox for so long on PURPOSE! i wanted some time to re read the revan book + watch some swtor gameplays so i could give a concrete answer about why the book and swtor arent satisfactory and what i would do instead (im not like. a storytelling god so i this is just my PERSONAL idea). under the cut!

to begin with, what's wrong with revan the book and swtor, mai?

i am very fond of swtor i think it was such a nice idea to have an "open" world game set in star wars old republic time. but ultimately, it was not a good conclusion to revan and meetra's storyline! now, i don't really know what happened in the development of the third kotor game (if there ever was a plan for one) but it's clear they dropped the ball on that and decided to start a whole different project. i don't think we can blame disney for that one, because it was announced on 2008, launched in 2011, and disney had just bought star wars that year. so who knows.

the thing is that it's painfully evident that a bunch of the story that was gonna be in the third game, ended up in the book + misc parts of swtor. much of the book feels like a gameplay.

now, it was clear when the book was planned that they wanted to keep revan's story open so when the game came out, they could have a cool Revan storyline so he could make a cool villain appearence and draw in some of that kotor nostalgia. which ehhhhhh. uh. i don't really think did any favors for revan's character. he didn't have a satisfactory arc (I'm not saying "a happy ending" because good arcs aren't always happy) but at least some closure?

revan went through many big events in his life. we didnt need to keep his ass in stasis for his fun villain moments 300 years later. we already had what we wanted from him: jedi turned sith turned jedi again to defeat a terrible threat. that was it we could have let it there and it would have been cool! but then they decided to drag and drag his story just to leave him right where he was before. he just suffered a little more in the in-between.

you could say he finally redeemed himself of all of his crimes this way, but wasn't that the whole purpose of the first kotor game (and would have been the purpose of the 3rd?)

swtor does not centre revan in his own narrative. he's a side character for the player to experience. and look, i get it, we've had a different protag on each game, why not have another one in this one. well, because the protagonist has no personal relationship with revan. meetra was one of his closest friends, and fought with him. there is a connection that can be exploited. but the swtor protagonist is just some guy 300 years in the future who happens to stumble into revan and his life. not even his descendants get to fully interact with revan.

also, there is the fact that revan is not the centre of the game itself, only of a particular storyline. and it's weird, because swtor could have happened without revan's involvement.

ms. meetra surik, ms. bastila shan, women of the world I'm sorry

so it's no news that star wars is misogynistic as fuck right. cause it is.

so you decide to make your gender neutral protagonist a guy. then you decide to make your other gender neutral protagonist a woman. cool. now let's guess who gets underdeveloped, turned into a plot device without reason, and promptly fridged in the most unceremoniously fashion just to fullfil some manpain moments. which one do you think got that treatment.

i know the revan book is supposed to be about revan, but why make meetra go through a whole arc just to undermine her character and turn her into the faithful servant of the guy? she leaves everything behind for him, sacrifices herself for him, hell not even dead is she not serving the guy. and she was the second game’s protagonist! she beat up a bunch of powerful people and now she’s just meh, there? she had so many interesting ways to interact with revan (meeting kreia, revan’s first master, encountering another force consuming entity, etc.)

meetra went through a whole arc about dealing with the guilt of doing something horrible and having the consequences of it cut her from the force. we see her broken, then slowly come back to the world and reconnect herself with the force, then stop running and face the consequences of her role in the war. thats such a cool character with tons of potential! and nothing happened!

then we got bastila who is. a whole deal. so you make her go through a “promising jedi who defeated revan, to questioning reluctant companion, to fell into the dark side, to was redeemed thanks to her bond to revan, who helped her come back because he’d been through the same experience” arc, and then you decide to push her to the side to have a baby?? which is... its clear that the writer didnt know what to do with her (or with the other characters outside of canderous) so hey, lets get her to marry revan and have a baby.

my ideal kotor 3

to preface, im not a game developer, so some of my choices could be stunted by what a kotor rpg can do lol. of course, it would follow the same mechanics and have the same format as the first two, because consistency!

the fun way to start the game, would be from scourge’s perspective. we get to play as a sith! i’d even say you get to change scourge’s name and gender and looks (i know sith have different looks)

in scourge’s storyline, we get from his arrival to normound kaas, to his talks with nissyris, to his missions working for her. in some of these, we can make scourge lean into the dark or the light side! fun! plus we get some exposition with dialogue options. it all continues untill we get to nissirys story about the emperor. we get a fucked up cutscene of his childhood and then BOOM when its over, we see revan waking up from a nightmare and their pov starts.

ok, as for revan’s story, since we’d have to pick it up from where kotor ended, i’d have a little cutscene of revan back into the ebon hawk, with bastila, and them telling the crew to take them to courascant. then cut to a council meeting where revan and bastila get scolded in private, then rewarded by the republic. i would also like to see some revan mournink malak’s death mayhaps. since he was their childhood friend and all.

i would 100% scrape the marriage and two years passed part. as the book said, the council had no use for revan aside from the legend(tm), so why would they stay in courascant. revan was very alienated from the jedi at that point, despite being back in the “light side”

then like, to revan asking around for meetra and other jedi from the mandalorian wars, we can cash in that atris cameo, then revan starts to have these visions about the sith emperor, and maybe we could get a playable dream sequence about revan’s fight with mandalore the ultimate (I KNOW I WOULD LIKE TO SEE IT.) and we get the whole exposition to mandalore telling revan that the sith are behind it all. i believe we should get a bunch of these flashback/dream sequences of revan’s past doing shit. cut to revan burying the mask in a planet, then back to the present. we see a bunch of mission and juhani scenes trying to reach him, but he keeps pushing them away. revan and bastila meet canderous, travel to the ice planet, meet clan ordo (god i love clan ordo) you get the whole quest, you decide weather to spare veela or not, maybe you get a cheeky mandalorian companion (force sensitive mando oh?) and leave canderous behind.

we can visit like, a couple more planets searching for clues maybe, etc. then when reaching nathema, you are forced to go alone as revan, get to explore nathema a bit (raiding ancient location yay) nathema as a location can be so fun because you can have it weaken you hp bar and also you cant use the force (which, in game is pretty cool)

then we get to scourge and nyssiris arriving to the planet, they fight but since theres two of them and revan doesn’t have the force, they beat the shit out of them, and while running away, they get in a fight with bastila and the companions in the ebon hawk (ebon hawk shooting game my hated). bastila manages to get a glimpse of revan’s thoughts before they take them away. but the ebon is so ruined it takes bastila, t3 and the mandalorian a while to fix it, and they get stuck into the unknown regions for a while. the ebon hawk is left in an outer rim planet with t3 fixing it, bastila and the mandalorian run back to the jedi council, only to get caught in the middle of the jedi civil war. we can have bastila choosing to hide in courascant and trying to make sense of what she saw, reading texts about the sith empire, trying to plot a course to where they took revan (more atris! but shes pissed at her now)

cutscene to meetra’s pov, leaving malachor v behind, getting calls from everyone at the hawk (atton my beloved) but just as she’s leaving she gets a force message from revan, calling for her to find him and sending visions of normound kaas. then, through her force bond with visas, she tells her not to go because they’re gay and in love and whatnot.

then boom, she gets intercepted by bastila’s ship, with the mandalore and the other mandalorian (yes i do love having a bunch of mandos on board) and they go on their way to find revan.

now i want there to be an underlying message of “we can’t take our friends with us because we have to do this ALONE we’re powerful JEDI we don’t need our FRIENDS.” meetra gets asked if she wants to bring any friends and she’s like “no. we have to do this alone.” along the game you get constantly contacted by other game characters, you get the chance to talk to them or ignore them.

so, we get back to nathema, and meetra has a whole “holy shit this is just like darth nihilus but ten times worse. but i beat darth nihilus. i can do this!” then she finds peace in this place without the force, we get a whole speech about how the odds arent against them, they find a way to normound kaas, and get going.

in normound kaas i thought about them getting a whole mission about how to infiltrate the citadel, only to get helped by scourge. he joins the party, we get a little flashback of all the years he spent trying to make revan remember and they storm the citadel. we get to fight the dark council members, fun! then we get to free revan and the game switches povs. bastila hands the mask to revan and he has a cool “yes im revan im pretty cool” then a nice heartfelt yet rushed reunion with everyone.

then have a small CONVERSATION WITH MEETRA where she talks about the sith triumvirate she defeated and revan is impressed with her and is like “we are the last hope of the jedi, we’ve learned to walk between light and dark, we’ve done horrors but we can still make things right, our experience has made us more powerful etc.

then they fight the imperial guard, ALL OF THEM, meetra revan and scourge make it into the throne room, they all fight the emperor. meetra shows the emperor that she has seen the void, she has cut herself from the force, and she’s not afraid of him, revan supports her, talks about redemption and hope  and NOW.

NOW. how the alternate endings could go:

if you decide to take scourge through the light side, he manages to form a forcebond with meetra and revan since they’ve both teached something about the duality of the force, they get 100% stronger, but its still not enough. UNTIL. a bunch of ships (jedi and mandalorian, even non republic ships) arrive to dormound kaas, the gangs from each game storm the room and together they make the emperor and his guard a bunch of punching bags. they beat him! (unknow to them, this was a backup body because the emperor can do weird shit like that, and has only debilitated his plan, but he’ll come back dont worry). then they fly back to the republic, to tell the chancellor about the sith threat, and preparations for the war begin. meetra and revan get to live happily ever after for a while, then they die away from the jedi or the sith (waaah im thinking about them helping canderous rebuild the mandalorians, and them doing it since they killed so many mandos in the war)

BECAUSE IN THE END KOTOR IS ABOUT LEARNING TO PROCESS TRAUMA AND RECOGNIZE YOUR MISTAKES AND LIVE WITH THE GUILT WHILST TRYING TO FIX THE MISTAKES YOU MADE ALONG THE WAY. AND ALSO TO HEAL FROM TRAUMA YOU NEED A SUPPORT SYSTEM SO EVEN THOUGH IT MAKES SENSE TO YOU YOU SHOULDNT PUSH PEOPLE WHO LOVE YOU AWAY. AND THINGS AREN’T BLACK AND WHITE ITS COMPLICATED SO YOU DONT END UP BACK ON SQUARE ONE YOURE A CHANGED PERSON.

or

if you decide to dark side scourge further, he betrays revan and meetra, they all die, and the emperor unleashes his angry lightning or whatever on everyone + a bunch of visions of all the enemies of past mocking them, and their loved ones suffering. and since you’ve had that “im not calling my friends bullshit” no one comes, you die there, and the emperor is only stalled for a few years. swtor ensues. scourge becomes the emperor’s hand.

now you could of course bring revan and meetra up in swtor, but maybe only as force ghost guides, or have some of the other characters of the game have relevance (visas tries to heal the miraluka planet 2021)

WELL THAT WAS A LOT OF WORDS. HOPE THIS IS SATISFYING ENOUGH

[pinkbutterfly84]

Conversation between Quintis following Pregnancy Announcement after 3.07

H - I’m Pregnant

Toby relaxed in Cabe’s hold and stared at Happy, not quite believing what she had just said, first he found out she is married to Walter and if that secret wasn’t enough now she was dropping the bombshell she was pregnant. Toby just stood there staring at her as she looked back at him he could read nervousness, apprehension, fear in her face but also a tiny flicker of excitement.

C - Lets give these kids sometime to talk things through, if i let you go Doc are you gonna launch yourself at Walter again?

Toby just looked at Cabe and very slowly shook his head, Cabe slowly released his hold on him and nodded to the others who were all stood staring at Happy and Toby. Paige went to start to speak but no words came out and Cabe shook his head at her telling her to leave it. The team gathered their belongings and left the garage, Walter was the last to leave and turned back looking like to he was going to speak but he just stared, he did then speak

W - I’ll stay with Cabe tonight guys so take as much time as you need to talk things through here if you want

Toby suddenly snapped out of staring at Happy

T - so very kind of you Walt, give us chance to fix the mess you made. Its the lease you could do

H - Doc!

Walter just nodded and left shutting the door behind him quietly.

Happy looked at Toby, she wasn’t sure what reaction she was expecting, she was still processing the news herself but she had expected something but Toby just stood there staring not saying anything.

H - Come on Toby say something

Toby opened his mouth and then shut it again, obviously at a loss of what to say

H - Come on Doc, lets sit on the sofa and I will fill you in and then maybe you could say some words you are usually full of them

Toby just nodded and walked over to the sofa and sat down crossing his leg over his knee and resting his one arm along the back of the sofa and then rubbed his other hand across his face. Happy came and sat on the sofa with both her legs crossed facing Toby just close enough her knees where touching his leg.

H - right, well i guess i’ll start. I’ve been feeling sick the last week or so and then the last few morning I have been sick a few times, coupled with my period being 3 weeks late i knew something was up and then I remembered that day a couple of months back you know after girl with the heart problem, when we were on the hike we went on to stay awake and well you remember what happened in that secluded beach and we thought we would be ok but i guess we weren’t

Toby looked at Happy with the small smile on his face

T - How could I forget that day sweetheart, it’s when I decided I would spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel as good as i did on that day

Happy smiled at him and continued

H - well i took a pregnancy test this morning before work and well you know the rest. I’m not going to lie and tell you it wasn’t a shock and it’s the right time or i’m ready but the more it thought about it today the more I realized that a baby would be pretty amazing and he fact that it is yours makes it so much more special. 

Happy paused looking at Toby who had some colour back in his cheeks and wasn’t looking so spaced out anymore

H - I’m scared Toby I need to know we are ok and you are with me on this, I cant do this without you

Toby looked at Happy she looked so vulnerable a look he was not used to seeing on her, he was still so mad over the marriage with Walter but first of all he needed to reassure her he wasn’t going anywhere.

T - Listen Hap I love you, of course i’m with you 100%. It was such a shock especially after finding out about Walter. I just needed to few minutes to let it absorb. You will never be alone again even if we fight or i’m upset i would never leave you you don’t need to worry about that.

Happy leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on Toby’s lips

H - Thanks Doc

T - Look we have a lot to talk about, i need to find the best pregnancy papers and books to read though. My Gynae rotation was only short so we need to research whats happening to your body and our little bun in your oven is going to needs lots of care and extra nourishment to make sure we give him or her the best brain development possible, oh I know I read a study that playing classical music enhances their brain development let me download some on your phone so you can put it on your belly when you go to sleep

H - Doc calm down we have plenty of time to sort all this out im sure one night without listening to the works of Bach won’t do the baby any harm. Now I know we are good and you are on bored with the baby business we do need to talk about Walter

Toby scowled 

T - I suppose so, I can't believe you married Walter and kept it from me for years, how did I not pick up on this and how did Collins know

Happy sighed

H - look you know I love you and I will only say this once, I'm sorry I kept this from you but we couldn't risk it getting out and Walt losing his green card

T - I understand the risk Hap but when your in a relationship one which I thought was leading to marriage you don't keep secrets this big. It makes me worry what else your hiding or will hide especially as I couldn't read that you were keeping a secret. Maybe I'm not the world class behaviourist I think I am

H - first you know your an amazing Doctor you weren't looking for deception in me, my bad. Secondly I have no more big secrets and I promise you here and now there won't be any in the future. And thirdly Walter told Collins I wasn't aware he did until you mentioned it the other week trust me I ran him the riot act about that.

T - I need to know Happy is there any part of you that wants the marriage with Walt, I know you need a family but if you have any feelings like that towards him tell me now

H - are you freaking kidding me Doc, Walt is a mate nothing more, he's never seen me naked, never seen me cry, never seen how I doubt myself, doesn't know what it does to me when someone kisses me behind my ear, doesn't know what happened to me in the care home when I was 13 or what happened with my first boyfriend.... do you know who does or shall I go on

Toby held his hands up in defence

T - ok your right I'm sorry, I know Walts just a mate and nothing more. I'm still hurt though Hap howcelild you feel if you learnt I was already married

H - I episode be gutted but I would try to understand why

T - I am trying sweetie and I'm not pissed at you but Walt he knew how much it destroyed me the night I found out he was here and yet he never said anything

H - I asked him not too,I text him and told him it needed to come from me. How are we going to move on from this

T - We look at getting you divorced and we move on,cwe have our little bambino to think of now. I'm going to let this go my love for you is far stronger then any anger I felt.

H - Walters looked into it and is looking at his options. We haven't spent a night together all night since before you got kidnapped you always go home after we have sex, how do you feel about staying over tonight, doing some pregnancy research. I've missed waking up with you.

T - you are a softie really, I would love too and I'm sorry I've been distant lately its been a lot to process.

H - I get it but we need to move on so let's start now

Toby smiled at Happy and nodded, he then pulled her over to him running his hand through her hair and along her leg and pulled her in for a kiss.

Happy sighed into the kiss pulling Toby closer to her by grabbing his shirt and running her fingers along his stubble. She slowly pulled away and smiled she felt closer to him then she had for weeks.

H - come on Doc let's get out of here.

[gayregis]

blood and wine rewrite au basic layout

i already posted something like this before but i cant find the post so im just rewriting all of this from the top of my head

everyone’s repurposed roles:

geralt - he’s still a witcher. he’s geralt of rivia. obviously. i don’t have time or interest to think about how to rewrite the entire witcher 3 game to be lore-friendly, but i assume there would be less triss and more dandelion involved in it. for this let’s just take him as geralt having done everything in tw3 but with the personality of geralt from the books because geralt from the games doesn’t have much of a strong personality good for writing or thinking about.

regis - a bitch. nah jk. he’s same regis but just what he was like 100 years ago when he got his head cut off. he’s less spiralling-into-doom than he was then, and is less desperate and hopeless overall, but is slowly getting there once again. he doesn’t remember anything about learning from his mistakes and becoming a good person, because this regis didn’t get any of that. to this regis, it’s like no time has passed at all since he died, and he’s ready to start partying again without any thought of the consequences. he’s moved to toussaint because everyone’s already tipsy there and the north is plagued by war so it’s not a really great source to be drinking from (like if there was a sewage leak near the vineyard you sourced your wine from). he doesn’t remember anything about maturing up or about becoming a surgeon or about the hansa, so that sucks.

dettlaff - not a fucking maniac. actually a character geralt will likely spend a good amount of time talking to. total character overhaul because he does not have a personality in the actual DLC. he arrived in toussaint because he had heard that regis had returned and wanted to fix things wih him, he had previously left him.

syanna - not a fucking dumbass, yet still naive in her own way due to being blinded with the promise of power. in this, she is planning to stage a coup on the duchy (because she is the older sister, so it IS her right by law) and she supports regis’ slow dive again into uncontrollable insanity because it helps her prop up rumors that her sister’s reign is ineffective against real threats and is cursed. but this alliance does not go as she planned...

orianna -  in this, she is the owner of a gladiatorial school (instead of an orphanage), and is still like in canon a wealthy and influential individual of beauclair, yet reclusive from human society. she is regis’ best friend and goads him on, because she never fixed her own issues with alcoholism and now is elated to have him back and forgetting that they had disagreements which drove them apart in the first place. they’re best friends (NO romance) and it’s just good to see how insanely different orianna and geralt are because they’ve both been regis’ close friends at different points in time.

the purpose of this:

fix regis’ relationships with the vampires. he slowly drove all of his good friends away by going off the deep end and many are likely wondering whatever happened to him. but books regis would never consider partying like that again, so we bring the party regis back and then slowly de-escalate him into normal books regis again, and we finally get closure with him and his old friends.

cool dramatic stereotypical vampire shit. i’m talking about a final battle or conversation in a giant dark castle with large open windows and billowing drapery.

regis’s hairstyle

give syanna actual agency as a character and give her motivations that extend beyond pure revenge (although they are related to revenge) and make her more unique so she is not just a ripoff of renfri. 

demonstrate anna henrietta and geralt’s relationship as it was in the books. he was genuinely intimidated by her and i interpret him as being jealous of her relationship with dandelion, so he in practice was quite withdrawn around her as she was her overemotional and embellished self

give dettlaff an actual character, holy shit. i hate how sorely underdeveloped he is in the game. i understand why because it’s not meant to be writing, it’s meant to be a video game, but come on. i hate having the vampire with the cool character design be the ultimate villain of the whole narrative. in this, he’s someone geralt can talk to and sees himself in. he’s emotionally mature and doesn’t mix with the other vampires. since we already know what regis is like, we don’t have to sit through dettlaff making excuses for him and trying to describe what his character is like. we also get a better view of regis’ past through dettlaff’s lense. 

give orianna an actual character, holy shit. i hate how they didn’t even try with her and just used her as a “surprise, she is quite evil!” gimmick. have her actually have a larder for blood that is lore-friendly yet still jumps out at the audience as morally wrong.  give her more personality and development.

examine regis’ backstory without actually getting into every single year of those 4 centuries. we can examine how it started good, turned bad, went worse... there’s a lot of loss involved and i think this would be nice to process it.

roughly what happens (under cut because if i ever do write this fic out, this is spoilers, literally the synopsis of the whole thing):

anna henrietta sends envoys to geralt. they establish that the duchess has no conflict with geralt and that her conflict was with dandelion, only. she has requested his help because he effectively dealt with many monsters while he was in beauclair and established a trustworthy reputation (also, he’s famous, and toussaintoirs are superficial). instead of the beast of beauclair killing particular victims, it’s the countryside which has been plagued by vicious attacks of the devil knows what.

geralt arrives and examines the scenes of the attacks. the sincere majority of the victims are alive, so he speaks to them. they remember nothing, but woke up with their village fucking absolutely trashed and with vomit everywhere. they all have wounds on their necks. geralt thinks he knows what’s up, but is reluctant to deal with it because of his memories of regis, who he misses

damien de la tour is assigned to geralt as a sort of backup. they argue and geralt manages to get him to stay put in beauclair while he rides to a village they believe will be attacked next. it’s not even a full moon so the vampires don’t even come out in their bat form (disappointing) but instead just mesmerize their way in in humanoid form. dettlaff sneaks up on geralt who is (ahem) staking out the situation, and is like hey dont kill regis hes not evil hes just misguided!! and geralt is like REGIS? EMIEL REGIS? THTS WHO’S LEADING THEM? i ..... i know him.... and dettlaff’s like what the fuck how... then they get caught and regis is like oh hey dettlaff who’s this guy and geralt feels very left out :( and also sad bc regis doesnt remember shit and geralt even lists the hansa members by name and regis is still like O_O ok yeah im just going to hypnotize you to get lost ok goodbye! but dettlaff prevents him from doing this and they both get thrown out of the party.

after the party geralt is a mess and is like wtf so hes back and what... how... huh... and dettlaff doesnt know how he returned or why he returned either but they compare geralt’s knowledge of how regis died with dettlaff’s knowledge of how regeneration works and they figure out that regis just regenerated from his past body and that’s why he doesn’t have any of his memories from when he turned good.

then they eavesdrop a little more and find out that syanna has been talking to regis and making deals with him (its... not really like she thinks, regis really hasnt been doing anything he doesnt want to. shes just like “hey can you attack this village here” and regis is like yeah i was gonna host a party there tomorrow night ...) so they are like who the fuck is this woman and track her down to her base of operations, and then they find out that THEY got followed by damien de la tour, who identifies her as sylvia anna. geralt is a little miffed on behalf of dandelion that damien seems to be so close to anna henrietta but i digress.

geralt reports his findings to the duchess but does NOT mention regis because the duchess knows who regis is. then we get the same vampire talk from canon b&w where the duchess and damien are sorely misinformed on every single thing ever.

geralt is defeated and has no idea on how to fix this and hes looking hard into a mirror by candlelight and then decides to go to bed so he turns around and regis is right behind him like hey. cue ‘holy shit what the fuck’ moment and freaking out. regis explains himself and says that he doesnt remember him but the fact that he gave so many specifics weirded him out and he kind of wants to know more out of curiosity. also he wants to talk to dettlaff but feels too bad about how he argued with him like 3 centuries ago that he cant just ask him directly.

so they talk and geralt is all :(( and regis is like ok well. i kinda want to get these memories back because they sound pretty significant and also im pretty miserable. but also im not going to stop partying bc its the only thing that makes me feel alive rn. so long!

geralt and dettlaff talk to orianna and she dislikes them both but still talks to them and then regis materializes and also begins bothering them and its quite civil but this scene just serves to demonstrate how annoying they are as friends lol

there’s scenes where you can either save damien / syanna from being unalived by the vampires’ / regis’ hand, only if you let syanna die will the duchess be mad and accuse you of being heartless like dandelion is and then geralt and the duchess actually get into an argument bc of that comment but geralt ofc loses bc hes scared of her lol

no matter what you get regis his memories back but your decisions to either continue helping him or not is what makes him change or not. even after he gets his memories back (or because he gets his memories back?) he decides to raze beauclair bc hes just so fucking miserable and geralt has to talk him down, if you are harsh and not understanding and shame him etc then he doesnt change, if you condemn his actions but still offer your support then he does.

if you offer your support > geralt talks about the hansa like For Ever and regis then adds in everything and yay regis is back to normal. theres like a wholesome montage of geralt being like “just TRY to sew up a wound i promise you you will be good at it” and regis does and hes splendid at it. regis and dettlaff finally make up and are bros once again. we help orianna with her issues and she realizes stuff but is still going to have a drink once in a while. if syanna is alive she doesnt hate on any of this but just decides to make up with the duchess and then become captain of the guard (damien gets fired for being a dumbass).

if you do not offer your support > regis goes to cry in a delapidated creepy old castle and you have an epic fight (geralt is backed up by dettlaff) and he turns into a bat and geralt almost dies, they manage to decapitate regis again and put him in the ground and set a timer for 50 years

if you redeem regis then there’s an ending scene where the duchess is like “oh regis i didnt know you were in town” and hes just like <:) ahaha... yeah...

cue crying about milva/cahir/angouleme For Ever. maybe link this with the fic where geralt and regis bring them all back as ghosts/real ppl and then they have to deal with those consequences

[charmspoint]

37 for the fic writer questions!

Ask meme here

37. Talk about your current wips

This is great I was thinking of listing out everything im working on these days anyway n now i get an excuse. For quite a few of these I cant talk about them actually cuz they are event stuff but imma list em anyway.

(This got long so im putting it under keep reading)

Lets! Categorize!

A) Ready to post!

Here we have my ShinKami bb fic: No Escape (coming out tomorrow) and my DabiHawks bb fic: Red string of death (coming out sunday) - obvs cant say much until they are posted, lets just say that for shinkami we are gettin some horror and dabihawks gets double banger of soulmate au x reincarnation au but like angsty

B) Currently in editing

Pieces for: DabiHawks metamorphos zine, LOV found family zine and villain/vigilante deku zine - since they are zines i feel like its a big no no to talk about them so we goin down

C) Currently writing

A secret santa piece and a piece for todobaku bb - one of these is actually cute couple things and the other is be dumping magic and horror on to a shipping fic again i obviously have a thing for that the more i think about these

D) Currently planing

Shinsou bigbang! (Do NOT judge me for how many events im in) anyway im super looking forward to this i feel like i have such a great idea n mmm we arent even to partnering up yet so i zip

DabiHawks secret admierer au - something i can talk about :0. This was one of my pitches for the metamorphos au n i got attached. The basic premise is: no powers high school au, local bad boy band member Touya is pining hard after straight A good boy Keigo and in atempt to confess his feelings he leaves a love song in his locker. The problem? Dabi is super fucking edgy and so is his song and upon reading it Keigo is 100% Dabi wants him dead. Shennaniganse ensue. LOV is there giving Dabi increasingly bad love advice, Rumi is there mostly to laugh her ass of and then do dramatic reading of the song, im gonna write actual songs for it!!! Anyway just lil slice of life school comedy, im not always about horror and angst belive it or not. Im looking forward to this one it should be fun!

All the beautiful things we are (All the dangerous things we will become) - another chuuya gen fic!! This one featuring Kouyou (n maaaaaybe Kyouka) in some good ol sibling bonding. Set earlier then The suffocating quality of your dying breaths, its basically kouyou taking chuuya under her wing and some good sibling bonding that will probably feature some good ol exploration of gender expression and just kouyou wrestling a brat into a suit. I just want some good chuuya n kouyou n some decent chuuya experimenting with dressing up n darn it ill make it myself

There are a few more that are in my notes as possible ideas but these are the ones im sure ill write so i dont wanna promise anything i wont do

E) On hiatus

TodoBaku murder mystery - my original idea for the todobaku bb, i wanted to challenge myself n write something i never did before but then college slapped me n ye i went back into the comfort zone. I still wanna do this one someday, probably over summer. Basic concept: normal life au, Enji Todoroki is found dead in his bed and detective! Bakugo is on the scene trying to determin did any of the family members, gathered that night to celebrate their mother returning from a hospital, have anything to do with it while trying super hard not to fall for the one Todoroki that keeps sticking his nose where it doesnt belong. Featuring: literally everyone having a motive and Bakugo being done with the family drama, Dabi being in a gang and acting like he owns the place, and ice skater Shouto both too dumb and too smart for his own good. We will see does anything come of it.

Season of rain - omegaverse light fic where i, an asexual, look at a trope purely made for kink and go 'what if for me tho?'. I call it light cuz i wont be writing any sex but u know me its heavy on angst. Featuring: Deku squad as a ship, omega sho n izu, alpha uraraka n beta iida n tsuyu. Dealing with such topics as: postpartum depression, sexisam, fear of alphas, arranged marriges, pack dynamics, betas having an actual role and importance, maneging poly reletionships, me harping on about how ideal number of parents is actually more than two and that if there were three genders standard reletionships would be expected to be a x b x o not just a x o. Aka me putting way too much worldbuilding into a kink trope. Basic premise: seeing as shouto turned out to be an omega, instead of training him to be a hero enji signs him of to enter a quirk marrige when he gets older just like rei. Years later shouto has just gotten out of a divorce and with a whole baby in tow is taken in by dekusquad. Hurt comfort ensues as they slowly work shouto into their dynamic and make him feel safe and loved again. Honestly i just want to give this one more time n attention that i have rn so its waiting for summer

Ashes to ashes - a dabihawks (maybe) post war au fic that was supposed to focus on Dabi facing what he has done and who he has become and the almost imposible process of changing yourself for the better when you spent all your life chasing one thing, on one side and on the other; Hawks recovering fron trauma caused by almost being killed, dealing with his newly growing wings causing him pain and being afraid he'll never fly quite the same again and trying to find connections among other heroes just cuz i say he needs friends. Both of them are dealing with very mixed emotions about each other and they work through them seperatly and together, trying to set everything that happend into a perspective and figure out where to go from there. I havent decided do they actually get back together or not by the end of it all. I was planing this and then hori dumped dabis crazy ass on me n now im mostly waiting to see what he does with him so i know what to do with him in the end, smh hori making my life hard :/

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

athenas or the new ign videos... hmmm

im gonna go for the ign videos (moze gameplay and sanctuary-iii, no guns yet, i have a reason for that) because athenas hasn’t gotten its sweet instagram video yet. once that’s released i’ll do a full post on it. by the time i got around to finishing this post, they had released the video. oh boy... gonna do the gun post then the athenas post, i think. alright, off we go.

tl;dr: we read the entire end user agreement DAHL thrusts upon us for using the ECHO device, talk about some stuff like how (spoilers) it seems like Lilith will be getting her powers back at the end of the game, and a voice line Lily says that sounds like “Tyreen took my powers. it’s like Tannis said: [inaudible] Siren” (altho im not 100% sure on the [inaudible] part because 1) it sounds weird and 2) there’s a drum beat and also the devs are talking over her, the Siren part seems fairly accurate because of the way her mouth moves). so you know. im gonna be agonizing over that until i can hear what she says. ive already spent an hour just repeating it over and over. i nearly fell asleep lol

we’re gonna start with the moze gameplay (the first 14 minutes of bl3) because chronologically it’s first in both timeline and release date

i love the license plates on the right there

also it looks like they added in claptrap’s old welcome sign from windshear waste! time to stand in front of it for 30 minutes to see if any messages pop up like bl2

fast travel station as well, definitely going to see if/where i can teleport and going there immediately. i imagine this is more for DLC stuff and grinding tho.

also! i do believe we saw Covenant Pass previously. good to know this is actually where it is!

Marcus saying “And Welcome to Pandora!” in the beginning confirms that, yes, they’re going to be on a bus!! i wonder if there will be a fight scene before that though. it’s interesting Clappy mentions that “those jerks who tried to murder you are the children of the vault!” so i mean... there’s gotta be... right?

im also convinced this intro is going to be a mirror of Borderlands 1. i stg if it starts out with the first few notes of Ain’t No Rest for the Wicked and then swaps songs I’m going to lose my mind

also also, the order is totally going to mimic the bl1 one. Fl4k = Mordecai, Amara = Lilith, Moze = Roland, Zane = Brick. We even have Lilith taking Angel’s spot as the mysterious voice in our heads, and probably Marcus driving, AND being dropped off at a bus stop.

bet the reason they changed it from ‘Moze as the Bot Jock’ to ‘Moze as the Gunner’ is because it fits under ‘Roland as the Soldier’ better. Also, ‘Zane Flynt as Himselfs’ would be a play off ‘Brick as Himself’. Amara as the Siren is obvious, and ‘Mordecai as the Hunter’ vs ‘Fl4k as the Beastmaster’ is pretty similar as well, given Fl4k has all those Hunter skills.

the 4 basic emotes im guessing. im so glad we have the option to boop our friends in the face with emotes.

also moze’s little bunny skin is adorable

the ECHOnet used to be called “Riftspace”, “the Spline”, and... “MercTel: A Cyber-Dahl Joint” lmfao

specifically calls out Pandora. also, “artificial megastructures”??? THAT’S SO COOL

AND FUCKING

SENTIENT MEGASTRUCTURES???? 

gearbox. please. i have never ever wanted anything more in my life. please. it’s probably my birthday. PLEASE GEARBOX

also interesting that the user agreement specifically notes ‘Respawns’. I assume this is a joke because New-U stations have been confirmed not canon

“Core law”. Core law? Core... daddy? ... ????

core as in like a core government somewhere that’s not the border worlds? that’s interesting...

“The Legion”, okay, acknowledging TPS, that’s dope

“Project Blackrakk” ... im interested

“Thresher Company” lmao

im curious if Axton was apart of any of the mentioned ones. i don’t think it’s been stated, but i could be wrong

“Chieftain Oort”. also ‘Recently Legless Gary’, lmfao poor dude.

oh yeah im sure this is fine. also holy shit did they google the synonyms for ‘change’ and just start listing them? lmfao

“implicit subscription to the Digby Vermouth ‘Dig’s Gigs’ secret concert subscription service” 

sorry, what?

if this doesn’t come up again in the future- if we don’t get a spam letter or 3 in our mailbox about this concert subscription thing i'm gonna be so disappointed

Dahl hates you if you’re not a fan of hyper-jazz, “you snob” lmfao

my brain hurts, they’re good at writing these 

damn phones exist? i thought everything was ECHO. aight, that’s good to know. i guess there just aren’t any phone networks around the border worlds

also “shared dreamspaces” sound really cool

hm. that’s no good lmfao. also i love that the buttons are ‘Agree’ and ‘OK’. there is no escape, once you agree, you can’t even leave because you’re agreeing that you’re trapped with these rules even if you cancel.

that’s fucked up, DAHL. can’t believe you treat your user base the same way you treat your employees. i guess i shouldn’t be surprised.

anyway, shoutout to literally the only TOA I’ve ever fully read in my life.

also, clicking through this TOA too fast WILL end claptrap’s voice line early. so be careful if you want to hear what he has to say!!

oh shit lmao I gotta go edit that Fl4k post

ok im back ~time magic of being able to save things in drafts and post them at a later date~

sliding preserves momentum, so you can actually slide (nearly) the entire way down! i love this.

small, but claptrap bends his antennae when trying to be stealthy. i thought that was a pretty cool detail

“and some guns include an alternate shooting mode~! try it out!”

player: `immediately shoots claptrap in the face`

i died lol

a very nice look at this sign.

good to know that the twins really are tempting people to join with promises of food. i mean it makes sense, i imagine most of the cultists are desperate for stability and a reasonable life on pandora.

also, Shiv calls himself “holy influencer of the children of the vault” lol. i love that. gearbox really is going for the internet’s throat, isn’t it?

i do like that hovering over an NPC will give you their name only and not name/healthbar.

a better look at one of the signs referencing the Mother!!! i was waiting for this, the only real look we got at one was in that one scene with Moze and IB

“Behold the Mother strength surrender to the truth” 

yeah that’s not ominous...

i assume the mother and father are intended to be tyreen and troy? but idk how i feel about that implication...

i like the new little gear/spring effect for the magnet lol

new lilith! i know a lot of people don’t like it, but i do. she looks better than the bl2 vers. altho i think it’s weird they swapped both bl1 and bl2′s ‘AI’ effect to those dots and then didn’t bring it to BL3. the dots effect felt cleaner. curious why they’re not applying it to bl3 when they went thru all that effort in 1 and 2.

... back up please.

i like that there is a changing icon for long pressing now

“time to check out our slay of the day!” sounds like Tyreen but tbh i legit thought this was moze’s reaction to opening the chest at first lol 

you can hear someone start screaming in agony while she’s walking up the stairs, so i know it’s not moze, but im so used to the VHs talking when they see a new piece of loot my brain just assumed.

also THE MUSIC IN THE BACKGROUND IS A REMIX OF BANDIT SLAUGHTER!!! IM SO HAPPY ABOUT THIS I WAS FREAKING OUT THE FIRST TIME I HEARD IT

also, claptrap when dropping health yells “this could save your life! then, you’ll owe me a life debt!” bullshit im pretty sure you already decided we owed you a life debt the moment we stepped off that bus

“i see it... the great vault” - a line from a cultist you kill

i know i mentioned in this post that the Great Vault may be already opened, but it could also just be a Vault they’re planning on opening and using the propaganda to convince the cultists to help them find it. 

“if you help us get this vault open, you’ll be handsomely rewarded! you’ll get superpowers! you’ll get regular meals! you’ll get money and guns and dates!” you know, the usual stuff. 

either way, elevating the Vault to a higher state (god/heaven/whatever) makes sense if you’re running a cult.

btw there is a hidden chest in the scaffolding to the left of the door, if you’re interested in grabbing some better guns before shiv. personally, i’ll be using the toy guns.

also the TVs are actually playing propaganda now!!

this one is asking questions that i cant understand due to the sound effects of the chest and claptrap talking, but it says something about “... the dust? ... join the Children of the Vault!”

“hey shiiiiiv all your dumb friends are dead!!”

shiv be like

“all my friends are dead”

some cool level-up art! I notice these are the same pictures as used on the japanese site. i wonder if they change depending on which VH you’ve picked (If you’re playing Amara/Fl4k, do you get pics of Amara and Fl4k? the player is playing moze, afterall).

also also “it’s a KIA on the knife wielding maniac. suuuper dead.” 

it’s cool that the VHs have specific lines for the deaths of bosses. i hope that continues and it’s not just a ‘15 min of intro gameplay’ thing. you know, where everything is super detailed in the beginning and then slowly gets less and less as the game progresses? anyway, moze’s little chuckle is fuckin adorable lol

ah. the door closes now so you can’t even explore Shiv’s room before Lilith shows up. gearbox plS you know me too well, i was looking for a g l i m p s e

claptrap’s voice line for getting released is SUPER off time, he hits the ground before going “you did it! i’m sa-ahhhhhhhh!” it’s weird, wondering if that’s just a glitch.

also also we get a nice listen to the revive ally sound. i could’ve sworn it wasn’t in the first look at this mission we got, because i heard it for the first time during the coop Zane/Amara gameplay on Promethea. i might be wrong, tho.

im very curious what these symbols are claptrap is beaming up

i mean you know what im gonna say

they look eridian

and they do

so wtf clappy why u beaming up eridian letters to Lilith

i assume maybe Tannis gave clappy some weird upgrade or something so he could communicate with the crimson raiders without the CoV listening in? it could be that Tannis or someone is decoding this message since Tannis does know how to translate Eridian (as shown in her bl1 ECHOs)

... or at the very least she gave Lilith a translator

the darkening makes it so that you can see the crackening. also this COULD just be a beam that lilith can see from wherever she is, but i want to believe there’s more eridian stuff. bc eridian stuff is fun.

this is so fu cking crisp im dying i love it

lilith’s tattoos spreading down her fingers

same symbol as her chest tattoo. maybe the symbol denotes new powers? like how lily has one on her chest for phasewalking, and a new one on her hand for teleportation

i love how her wings look like actual fire. i fucking love this

lilith is looking so fucking good in the new engine

im glad they got rid of her super red eyes, tbh it looked a bit weird

i think they are really pushing her fire affinity, im sure we’ll see Maya has an elemental affinity as well (im calling corrosive) and im sure Tyreen will too (slag). Amara looks to be Shock because that’s her ‘default’, but who knows until (if) bl4 comes out. but corrosive wings on maya would look SOOO fucking cool. please. please please please.

god she looks so good compared to bl2. i love how the tattoos softly glow in the dark, too. i gotta play this mission late in the day...

“you’re... the voice in my head, right?” i love this so much, i really hope my shitpost comes true.

lilith gives you a grenade mod for completing her mission! im really glad they are PUSHING through the tutorial/intro so you can get right into the game. bl2′s ‘intro’ of all these tutorials was brutal. especially waiting to unlock your action skill.

in 3 you get your action skill automatically at level 2!!! which is insane, i love it! they’re jumping right into it, it’s great. and they seem to be pushing for you to get all the stuff you need right away. 

it’s curious to note that in bl3 we get our class mods at the end of the Promethea demo (after Gigamind), since in bl2 you get your first (usually?) after the hunting the firehawk mission and both seem to take place immediately after we get to the ‘base of operations’ of the game (Sanctuary vs Sanctuary-III).

yep that quest is 100% in line with the quest marker. 

i imagine From the Ground Up may be discovering where the Vault Map/Key actually is? maybe bringing people to the Recruitment Center (notably Tannis)

for this scene. i hope this takes place after the HBC, because i seriously... can’t imagine the twins showing up, taking the Vault Map, bringing it to the HBC, and then NOT taking Lilith’s powers/trying to kill Lily and accidentally taking her powers. it just doesn’t make sense, Vault Hunters be damned, we are level 2 they could melt us easy peasy. 

If anything, it feels like we COULD find the Vault Map in the Recruitment Center, Tannis tries to activate it/fix it, we find out it’s mega broke, and then the Sun Smashers show up and take it. but i seriously can’t imagine Lilith nor the new VHs allowing that to happen while they’re still there. maybe if Tannis sends us to do something while Lilith is gathering other CR members? then it could make sense if they attack while Tannis is alone with the Key...

OR

we end up finding something in Shiv’s room that shows/helps us realize the Sun Smashers bringing the Vault Map to the Calypsos. tho this would mean the quest From the Ground Up is SUPER short and I imagine it’s not. Maybe we raid a camp of theirs like the one in front of Sanc-III with the bridge/ramp? We need to be about level 6 before we go and we start From the Ground Up at 2 so there’s obviously something DEEP we’re missing here. maybe this is a mission where we go gather the other Crimson Raiders? HMMMMMMMM...

.... oh.

nevermind lmfao

she opens her ECHO immediately after this LOL i feel kinda dumb now

raiding their camp it is! the Droughts sounds like a fun location. Very much like the dust. you guys think there’s a Shade situation going on there? i’m excited to see it. Still think we’re going to use Shiv’s room to get that lead, though. i just really wanna watch tv lmfao. i hope this means the bandits run from the camp to the HBC, or we find info that the bandit warchief sent a party to the HBC with the Vault Map. either way, i just don’t want the twins showing up until after the HBC or i will have so many questions. “why didn’t you kill lilith?” being the first. “the god queen wants her head!” ur goddamn right she does, so why doesn’t she (try to) kill lilith???

85% already?! hot damn

also

that’s one badass description there, Moze

also also

while having gun slots locked is pretty normal, im surprised they’re locking class mods and relics, too! i wonder when we’ll be able to equip relics. maybe when we first go to eden-6 or smth. or maybe after we meet up with Rhys. shit maybe he’s just handing us an artifact (im gonna interchange these a lot, sorry!) in that Promethea video lmfao

“ready to chuck some boom and frag some maniacs” lol moze i love you

if you’re playing Zane... `equips grenade mod for checkmark` `immediately equips second action skill and never actually uses grenade mod`

“it’s the firehawk! the god queen wants her head!” 

like i alluded to before, i would not be surprised if Tyreen doesn’t know she can absorb Siren powers... when she goes to succ lilith in front of Sanctuary-III, it’s totally possible she actually was trying to kill her. That could explain why she looks so intrigued at her hand like “oh shit okay lets see what this can do”

might be why she was okay with sending her cultists after her instead of showing up herself.

“alright, we got a foothold. maybe things are turning our way. come on killer, you’re with me” we are going to explore the SHIT out of shiv’s room.

alright alright alright

let’s move on to the Sanctuary-III stuff

yessss

i love the quest objective thing, it looks like we will be able to swap through our quests with the push of a button! also im curious why exactly we’re going to promethea right away. i wonder if the twins say something about moving there after getting the vault map/lilith’s powers, or if we hear from rhys. im expecting something about the vault map, since our vh will admit they don’t know rhys at all when talking to lorelei. but for some reason we need to be within the city limits? since lily says ellie got us within the city limits. 

hmmmmmm. okay, okay, maybe the map was trying to lead us to promethea for vault reasons during that short amount of time that we had it and it was working. maybe promethea is what we see when tannis is activating the key during that one cutscene? ohhh shit how dope would it be if we got that fucking easter egg message? omg “Children of the Vault. Come to Promethea. We are not on Pandora anymore. Tannis is not what she seems. Do not open the Vaults.” and everyone is like ‘uh did that thing just mention Tannis by name??’ and now it’s REALLY important to get the map back just so we can figure out wtf it’s trying to tell us. 

i will question how ‘Tannis is not what she seems’ would affect character relationships, especially if it’s said so early in the game. so perhaps we only hear the first part of the message. maybe it’s corrupted because it was recently broken. iunno. just playing around with ideas. the canon of this game is like flarp putty until sept. 13th

anyway moving on because this is literally the first f r a m e of the video

i like that you can see pandora’s eridian scar. if the destroyer is speaking through eridium to people, it’s gonna bust outta the side of this planet like you wouldn’t fucking believe lmao. eridium is a window to the soul and if you stare long enough into its glossy, shining sides, the destroyer stares back

that or it’s just like a beacon, slowly spreading its influence across the universe. but i like the idea that the destroyer can waltz out of a big enough hunk of eridium. so it will bust out of pandora’s eridium scar. F in chat for pandora but also lmfao the amount of tentacles and rage would be unparalleled.

reality is that the twins are probably farming this scar for eridium to turn into slag for multiple purposes. like brainwashing their cultists, giving them powers, and ensuring their guns have their manufacturer’s quirk (im getting to this in my next post bc im just gonna compile all the ign gun videos into one big post)

the floor art is different from the actual sanc-iii demo. i mention this first in my behind closed doors panel analysis, but im gonna mention it again because this is ~official~. the floor list on the first walkthru of sanc-iii we got had the names of all the crimson raiders and lines leading to their shops. so we had the infirmary/tannis, marcus, moxxi, etc listed on the floor. i imagine this new sanc-iii will change as we get more people on board or if we do a sort of re-decoration of the ship.

also also, it’s cool to see that we have 4 rooms on the minimap, likely one for each of the VHs (and your coop buddies). ive seen speculation that the other, non-played VHs will hang out in their rooms when you’re not playing them, and tbh i really hope this is the case.

we also know this version of sanctuary-iii is after pandora, so there are no promethea citizens aboard yet. which makes me double certain the first sanc-iii video we got takes place either after endgame (explaining why Lily has her tattoos back) or right after Athenas (explaining why Maya is there). which... i mean... spoilers, guys. 

that’s one good lookin fast travel station, holy shit

im in tears over here because “Caution: no steppy”. this is so fucking funny to me

no steppy on me

okay moving on because i will cry laugh over this for forever im allowed

moze’s room is so much different than amara’s

also i notice she’s on the left of the two on the top, which makes me hope the other 4 are reserved for the other VHs (or your coop buddy).

compared to the official sanc-iii demo video

and amara’s room

moze’s is so barren oh my god

someone get this girl like... a colorful throw pillow or something

baaank. also doubles as the secret stash. kinda upsetting, because that is infinitely less loot i can store when i make a lot of characters. also if i upgrade the bank once, is it upgraded across all my other characters too? or are the guns i put in storage slot 11 locked up until i buy the upgrade?

either way, i am saddened because no more mule characters. and way less space the more characters you make and more gear you find, because all gear you put in here is there across all characters. i hope this means our backpacks will be a lot bigger this time around!

supamax mfg shows up again

ppm/04-02 matches up with the number behind the fast travel station. i wonder if this will come into play. if the number changes later in-game im going to freak the fuck out bc that means wherever we are isn’t actually sanctuary-iii

ppm/04-02. remember that 👀

also, the wall behind the golden chest changed from red to steel/greenish. can’t tell the actual color. same as the floor

you know. that color.

“golden keys are popular. you can get some in-game and also get them online”

in-game you say??? im interested! i wonder if there will be some sort of arena (like moxxi’s) where if you complete it you get a key as a reward. i saw people speculating about some sort of randomized boss rush, that could definitely be a way to get gold keys, as well.

oooo engine room! im excited to explore here.

original size is 16. so, we have 40 backpack slots! still... you know... only 1 above the max of bl2, but hey. at least that’s an upgrade. as small as it may be

on the bright side: bank upgrades increase capacity by 5. with a base of 10, and 8 upgrades, we have 50 slots to fill. which is a big leap from the original 24. it is still a shame we have to share these across characters, tho

offline cultist stream? makes me think the CoV really was trying to steal/take over sanc-iii from the crimson raiders and we went to go take it (back?) in Taking Flight. either the CoV found/ordered Sanc-III, or the crimson raiders were building it/fixing it up, their stronghold got taken over, and the CoV were prepping it for takeover.

the shooting range. and if you notice that little CoV symbol in the bottom left there? yeah pretty much backs up my previous theory

all those red bits are tied to ellie’s crew challenge. so we’ll be collecting things for her!

an altar for scooter 😢

“we’re gonna get those cultism sumbitches, believe you me”

where you get yeeted out of Sanc-III. im definitely going to try jumping in it to see if it kills me. doesn’t look like the drop pods are available yet

that’s not clappy, pretty sure he’s hanging out on the bridge right now

schematics for veronica

the thing i was most excited about in this video!

loooots of customizations! which excites me because i know eridium used to get useless late game when you’ve grinded all the raid bosses. it looks like eridum is going to be in ultra high demand. but u can bet ur ass im gonna be unlocking all those fucking customizations asap.

veteran rewards is also super super interesting

hgggggg i wanna know what the shields do!!! 

i like the vault symbol at the top of the item card as well, shows you its a special type of weapon/item. im honestly surprised we’re able to buy ‘veteran rewards’ so early in the game? i mean obvi we won’t have enough eridium (look at the costs!) but it’s wild it’s even accessible. im personally a fan of the first bonus ‘anointed: gain life steal on action skill end’

looks like these guns have been chosen

to give them those special bonuses

i do see that just anointed is not class specific, but the ones that say anointed gunner or maybe anointed siren will be (confirmed by the devs in video).

you pay with eridium, so maybe the vending machine has some way to confer the power of eridium to the guns. or some shit. iunno. it’s possible this won’t be available until the end of the game, hence veteran rewards, and is only being shown to us right now since this is a showcasing video.

pandoran civilian. no promethea civilians today folks! i am CONVINCED that the old sanc-iii demo takes place after the end of the game. at least after athenas.

it’s weird seeing moxxi hanging outside her bar.

is also cool to know that the 4 slot machines are actually available. seems like npcs can play them, but we can use all 4 if we want to. which is really nice

the one on the far left is called the ‘loot boxxer’ and it gives mostly guns lol. i see they are taking jabs. good for them

better pic of the leftmost machines

Zer0 seems to have a bounty board? not sure if this is like a physical bounty board or if they will contact you when they want something dead, but it is cool to note. this isn’t shown in video, just the devs speaking about it.

similarly hammerlock has ‘big game hunts’ where you find “rare, challenging creatures” and kill them for him

apparently we’ll be killing something known as a manvark

this book

i fucking recognize this book

HAMMERLOCK NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

in all seriousness tho

hammerlock probably isn’t in his room because we haven’t rescued him from eden-6 yet.

a cool thing about the crew challenges: as you progress through the game and do these challenges, sanc-iii will ‘grow and change to reflect the things you’ve accomplished’. altho another dev says “sometimes these are optional things, like challenges” 

so now im like oh shit we’re gonna change sanc-iii as we play the game. i wonder if that means we’ll be changing the hull, too. because you know. the blue paint job. we gotta go STEALTH. sneaky beaky into the calypsos fleety

tannis doesn’t have the saurian on her table. also, interesting note, she DOES have the eridian log in the corner. meaning she must have had that before eden-6. interesting... maybe we’ll find more on Pandora.

she is still covered in blood tho. idk i don’t have an explanation for that. don’t think i want to think of one, to be quite honest.

oh no. (those are skulls next to all the gurneys)

“tannis plays a much bigger role in bl3 than she has in past games”. bigger than borderlands 1? that is... impressive. she’ll be running the health vending machines (which is weird bc i could’ve sworn in the promethea demo, zed was still running them... hm.)

another angle of sanc-iii

clappy? you good there?

the devs said they’re using him to plug a hole. i assume the calypsos shot at the ship as we’re leaving or smth.

lily with no tattoos, who also looks significantly more pissed than her other sanc-iii demo counterpart

you know. because she got her tattoos.

also

fucking

lilith says something right here. all i can make out is “Tyreen took my powers. it’s like tannis said. ..... [inaudible] Siren.” maybe some weird word i haven’t heard before? i swear she’s saying ‘like tannis said: a ‘m...’ Siren” but i am not 100% sure. if someone could help me out, that’d be rad.

so its sounding like lilith rushed in with explicit warning from tannis about tyreen stealing her powers, and tannis knew tyreen was some sort of Siren and warned lily, but lily didn’t listen. it could also be that lily is saying something like “im not a siren” but i can’t really hear it if she is. it sounds like she saying a word that starts with m to me. if someone could help me with this i’d owe you my life

whew. i am. fucking TIRED.

im gonna sleep for like 3 hours and then wake up and make food before the fl4k streams start.

[dulharpa]

this is for hayley! @whistlingwillows a dear friend <3333

it’s meant to be a birthday present haha. i just want to shower you in love;;; so thought maybe i could go through as many of your fics and comment on them :^)))

(TO EVERYONE ELSE: please go to @whistlingwillows blog and read her fics!!! they are SO FCKIN GOOD AND AMAZING AND UGH HER MIND (it’s a lot of mcu and her bucky and steve fics are a*. i DEFINITELY RECOMMEND))

i wish you a VERY happy birthday and i hope we stay friends for many more years <3333333333 

i’m going through your masterlist heehee ;)))

ah first off, nice theme! i never could rlly see it before because i’m always on mobile heehee. also sorry for not reviewing them before??? i don’t usually read fics on tumblr as you’ve probably guessed;;

anyways, IM GON REVIEW THE SHIT OUT OF THESE >:DDDD

far from home -  bucky x stark sister!reader

firstly, i like how youre introducing the reader from buckys pov, like you can sort of already gather what shes like from them

‘Bucky can hear Tony’s soft inhale, feel the intensity of the man’s glare directed at Steve. He shouldn’t be eavesdropping, but a twitch of muscle would be enough to alert both men that he’s here. With the amount of tension crackling in the air, a brush against the wall would be equivalent to a thousand cymbals crashing in cacophony.’

IM CRYING ALREADY. the imagery in here is GLORIOUS. your tone here is so fitting! oo and the alliteration here is perfecto

ooooooo!! the backstory coming in  👀👀

‘despite what some people think that Steve and Captain America are two different personas, there will always be parts of Steve in the Avenger, and parts of the Avenger in Steve. They both want to believe in something good. They are, after all, one in the same.// Just as how Bucky and the Winter Soldier are the same man despite everything. HYDRA simply amplified the hate, fertilized the seeds of rage, curated the quiet thunder within his soul, within James Buchanan Barnes so that the Winter Soldier could thrive.’

yIKES! lol this is very character study like! nICE. it hurts tho, my poor children, i love you both 

oo ‘starlight eyes’ that is a very nice way of describing them

‘“Then what was London?” The protesters. “São Paulo?” The earthquake. “Vancouver?” Freezing cold water.//“Look, I care if Stark’s gonna run us over trying to find her. I care enough because she’s part of our team. Come off it, Steve. I know she can take care of herself. I’m gonna take a nap. Dr. Cho said no partying post-Singapore and what do you know, we throw the biggest party ever.’

ooo singapore uwu and london? (coincidence? haha jkjk) and the hints abt reader and buckys background are so good?? but so annoying??? like i just wanna KNOW yknow?? 

‘The water runs copper and the sting bites at his palm as he tries not to think. Tries to focus on the numbing cold that runs over his skin.’ 

your imagery is so vivid?? im actually in awe??? i am so regretful i havent kept reading your fics. like i know they are amazing, i just keep putting them off??? idk man. hopefully this makes up for it (gd tho, im still not done with commenting on one fic. this is what im doing with my motivation teehee ;)

‘ He feels weak. Tired. He wants to go back to bed but he also wants to stay out in the sun for a few hours more. The sun kisses his skin through the windows and he squints against the blue sky, wondering ‘

mood during this quarantine lol

‘“Oh, right.” Your voice is flat, uninterested, cold, as you stare at him. “You killed my parents.”Shit.‘

 OUCH LMAO THATS C O L D, O GOT +100 PHYSIC DAMAGE FROM JUST READING THAT

ooo robin as a nickname noice. very much gives me batman vibes lol

oh! and the way of doing the ‘flashback’ is neat! very original. it both tells us what happened AND buckys reaction to it again. he can re-analyse himself and reader. very cool

‘If you walk away now, don’t bother coming back!” Silence. Bucky can hear his own strained breathing, your soft sigh as you soaked in his ultimatum.’

👀👀 yikes that ultimatum. :// not good bucky. tbf theyre both trying to hurt each other but Yikes

eyy!!! readers pov!! finally! and the switch after we find out the outsiders pov? brilliant

oh no :(( more angst

‘When’s the last time you saw your therapist?”“Don’t have one. I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself.”’ they BOTH need therapists;;;;

very good fic!!! :DD they rlly do hate each other! i definitely like how you went back and forth with the timeline! it gave me a v strong idea on what yn was like even before we rlly got introduced. i am now very curious on where reader is? i love your characterisations! 

i will read the 10k+ fics but heck the last one took me ages lolol (i will comment in the future tho!! i promise <3 ) (that took me over an hour jjhghgdjh)

slipping away- amnesiac modern bucky x reader

omg,,, AMNESIA! >:DDDDDD

‘ Put your fucking seatbelt on’

oh no, istg theyre going to have a car crash arent they (’ doesn’t put the seatbelt on to spite you.’ NO PLEASE PUT IT ON U DUMBASS)

ok,,,,, at LEAST he put it on before he got hit, thank heck. but still. youre so cruel to your poor characters lmaoo

oh gosh

‘You fall apart slowly, like pieces of you peeling away until you’re nothing more than your broken heart. The sobs that wrack your body are relentless and you shove your forearm into your mouth to muffle your cries. You want to bite into your skin. You want to distract yourself from the agony tearing you to shreds. You want to feel anything but the pain.///Tears sweep into your hair, cloud your vision and your whole face floods with heat as you try to breathe through the pain. You’re cleaved into pieces on that bed, eyes squeezed shut as the tears keep flowing, and your throat burns’

this hurts damn, it is so vivid?? i can really feel it 

i am so glad you got into writing yk?? so glad

NO PLS, TELL HIM. TELL HIM :((( ‘shes nice once you get to know her?? shes known nat for years now!! years!!

oh god ‘he looks younger without the burden of your time together’ this is so angsty omg

‘Well, he was stumbling through his apology and I just let him finish.” Your body fills with warmth as you remember his embarrassed smile, the way he shoved his baseball cap farther down his head, chin tucked to his chest, trying to hide that face. “When he was done, I opened my mouth to say something polite but what came out was ‘You look like someone I’d very much like to kiss’.”

this is so soft i stg im crying in the club

OH SHITTTTTTTTTTT , you left it off like that!!! thats so cruel!!!! i can’t!!! how dare you!!!! :””””””((( im typing this with tears in my eyes ill have u know!!

anyway!!! very good fic!! you could honestly make that into a longfic very easily lol. i felt too many emotions :(( 

i was just about to say where is the fluff!! where is it!! when i saw the next one and yay :))) pls i cant have more angsty stuff rn

.

cookies and rings and things bucky and reader

‘how much do you love me?’ ‘count the snowflakes, multiply by a million’

did you have to start the fic off with such a SOFT line? its so soft! so TENDER 

‘He wonders what kinda insane person wears socks without any clothes on, but then decides that it’s the kind of person who’s fallen in love with him.’  jesus, the soft moments filled with love are the greatest <3

you can write fluff so well, whyd you have to pain me with all that angst ;””””) (1/10 hurt, 9/10 comfort is the way to go lolol) (jkjk ill read the angsty ones too when i have the spoons) (gonna reread that hydra steve one and ik thatll fuck me UP)

‘ Then, he can feel the cold metal of the ring she slid onto her own finger less than twenty-four hours ago and realizes that he had thought a lot of things shouldn’t be possible, and yet they still are. ‘

you literally brought me to tears reading this softness, you have truly found my weakness

‘ She’s so damn gorgeous with flour on her face and eye bags beneath her eyes that he’s sure she will inevitably make his heart burst ‘

he already likes her so much! i can’t believe this is affecting me so much :’)

‘Bucky is quite sure Sam is in love with his girlfriend in the fact that he’s in love with the fact that his girlfriend is possibly in love with Bucky’

this is so soft??? sam loves reader bc reader loves bucky sm. pls my hear <3333

you do fluff SO WELL DAMN 

‘F.R.I.D.A.Y.’s voice echoes in his small little perch and he still thinks it’s weird without having the side effect of Stark in his suit chasing after him to hear the A.I. but he shoves that uncomfortable feeling of the dead man out of his head. That is too much regret to unpack right now on a mission. ‘

yike bringing back that reminder oof

but thats so soft??? (i am def overusing soft but,,,,, i love it and the vibe) she sent him cookies! god i can feel the love  

‘She expresses her feelings through cooking, which Bucky has learnt the hard way. One time, they got into an argument over something stupid—he can’t even remember what started it—and came to the kitchen at 2AM to see her sitting at the kitchen island crying her eyes out and surrounded by baskets of muffins.’

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 my hEART

you show how much they love each other in so many ways??? i am dying

“Alright, I like it.” Rolling his eyes, he pecks her forehead and she smiles victoriously. It’s so adorable that Bucky, with less than three hours of sleep, adds, “God, I want to marry you.//”“What?”//Oh.Shit.

oh my god! i am literally tearing up!!! AGAIN!!!!!!!!

oh shit o am literally crying

your fluff got me crying harder than your angst i hope youre happy

I really hope you enjoy reading this?? i keep forgetting to like text you but i wanted to do something for your birthday. especially in quarantine when everythings gone crazy. one year i swear ill do something REALLY good for you. not making promises bc i hate if i dont. but ill like, learn how to podfic because you D E S E R V E  I T 

ive spent like three hours doing this lolol 

thank you so much for everything hayley!

[pretty-bois]

roger taylor is god

So @denimwrappeddisasters and I are currently obsessed with Ben Hardy’s Roger Taylor and we may have text-written a crossover fic with Queen and the Harringrove boys. It also might’ve turned out long and smutty so I’ll post it in two parts. (This whole thing is copy pasted so the formatting is super weird, sorry about that)

I feel like Freddie would pick up Billy at some bar or one of their concerts or something because I mean he’s hot and he’s actually really cool, they’d hang out for a bit, Freddie would then bring Billy around while they’re recording and the rest of the band would be all “oh is this another one of your boyfriends??” And then they’d be confused bc Billy and Freddie aren’t really flirting at all but Billy KEEPS staring at Roger 

They’d quickly figure out what’s going on with all of Billy’s not so subtle flirting Roger would probably be all uncomfortable at first but then would just start playing along after a bit

Roger and Billy’s first exchange after Billy’s been staring for longer than he should’ve been:

R: “You got a problem man?” B: “Yeah, you’re not on top of me right now” *winks and walks away*

*Roger sputters*

*as Billy’s walking away* (showing his ass more than necessary) “I’m in love with my car is my favorite by the way!!” *Roger to Freddie* “You know what, he’s welcome back ANYTIME” *Billy turns the corner and starts squealing and jumping around because THAT DID NOT JUST HAPPEN* Then they become friends and billy CONSTANTLY invites roger to have threesomes with him and Steve Holy shit can you imagine if he were to say yes like the 100th time Billy asks R: “Fine! But I am not taking anything up my ass” B: “Oh don’t you worry baby, that’s my job” R: “And I’m ONLY doing it just this once so you stop asking” B: “Alright, but trust me, you’re gonna wanna do it again” Billy would make it home and just start SCREAMING Steve: “What, did Roger do something hot again?” B: “HE HE-AND THEN HE- AHHH STEVE STEVIE HOLY MOTHERFUCKING SHIT BABY WE’RE GONNA- I’M GONNA- FUUUUCCKKK” S: “Ok Billy! BILLY!! You need to calm down before you hyperventilate!! Deep breaths come on, with me” *after he’s calmed down a bit* S: “Ok baby you wanna try again?” B: “Rog-Roger said-he said he-he agreed to the threesome!! HES GONNA FUCK ME STEVIE” *rambles on about Roger’s dick* “oh god it’s probably soooo big baby! Not as big as you, but still big!” And Steve is just sat there staring at him, slightly in awe because he’s going to have a threesome with a rockstar, but also kinda jealous because his boyfriend is waayy too excited for his comfort. S: “Whoa whoa—when is this happening Billy?” B: “TOMORROW NIGHT!” S: “WAIT WHAT?” B: “YEAH! That means we can’t fuck tonight though, I wanna be so ready for him.” S: “But you promised me—“ B: “Don’t worry baby, there’s plenty of other ways for me to get you off” *wink* *immediate blush from steve* Billy jumps up, “oh god, we need to clean the apartment. I have to go buy lube and condoms. You think he’s ever fucked a guy before? I‘m gonna turn him gay baby, just you wait.” *grabs his keys and runs out the door* Roger would walk in the door and be SO visibly uncomfortable and nervous. Steve, seeing this, hands him a beer and asks “so. . . You ever done this before? You know, with a guy and all?” “Oh uh no I haven’t but Freddie wouldn’t shut up last night giving me tips” “Well Billy’s really excited. honestly, I would be jealous but this has been a dream of his LONG before he met me” *roger blushes* “oh wow, didn’t know that. He was so cool about it, you know, besides the whole incessantly asking thing.” * stevie laugh * “He’s a good actor.” *sounds from the other room, Steve leans over* “He’ll be out in a sec, but just keep this in mind— Billy’s hottest when he’s breaking in front of you. So ruin him.” “What does that even mean?” “You’ll know. Trust me.” Billy walks out “What have my boys been talking about?” And Steve’s like “Nothing baby, c’mere” *making out in front of roger* *Rogers eyes go wide and his mouth drops open* “O-ok I might be able to get behind this after all” *steve and Billy both reach out and grab his arms pulling him towards them* “Alright Roger lets see if you’re as good as they say you are” *Roger chugs down the rest of his beer* “Ah Fuck it” *billy internally screaming like we are at this almost smut* “I get the first taste” *furiously kisses roger who is quite literally swept off his feet by them and pulled into their bedroom* *roger is making Eddie kissing Venom sounds*        •       s e x      •    (calm down the good shit is at the end) *Afterwards* *all parties very out of breath* R: “. . . F U C K” B: “Shit man are you freaking out???” S: “Oh my god Roger are you like ok???” R: “Yeah yeah I’m fine it’s just I owe Freddie $100 now” S: “What did you guys bet that you wouldn’t go through with it or something?” R: “No we bet on whether I’d enjoy it or not” B: “Shit Did we turn THE Roger Taylor gay???!!!!??” R: “Just a LITTLE ok!!” B: “haHA!!!” B: “STEVIE BABY I FUCKING TOLD YOU!” R: “Told him what?” B: “That this ass would be able to make you gay” R: “Yeah. You fuckin told him. That’s a good fuckin ass. Might need to have it again sometime.” B: “Did. . . Did you SERIOUSLY just say you want my ass AGAIN?” R: “Yeah, why?” *billy faints* R: “Oh god is he okay?” S: “Yeah just give him a sec he’ll be fine. He does this kind of a lot. NEVER say the number ‘10’ around him.” R: “What’s wrong with the number 10?” *Billy waking up* B: “Hopper what???” S: “He’s not here Billy don’t get your hopes up” B: “Mmm THAT’S a shame”

R: “Damn You two are almost as bad as Freddie” B: *cackling* “you WISH” *Billy shoots up in bed* “WAIT GUYS. BEST IDEA. FOURSOME- US AND HOPPER” R: “Who is—“ S: “NO BILLY. NEVER GONNA HAPPEN. I DO NOT C A R E HOW BIG HIS FUCKIN DICK IS.” (I’m sorry but we have an ironic love for Hoppingrove)

R: “Wait are you implying that you know someone with a 10 inch dick???” B: “YES” S: “BILLY. NO.” Roger and Billy walk into the recording studio the next day and everyone is SILENT Roger doesn’t say anything but he walks over to Freddie and hands him the $100 The whole band just starts yelling “AYYYYYYY YOU GET ‘IM TAYLOR” (Fondly) “Aww fuck off you guys” Freddie INSISTS on so many in depth details And billy is MORE than happy to oblige B: “Boys, you wouldn’t BELIEVE the things roger can do with that mouth of his” *roger turns bright red* *brian turns around and starts leaving* Brian: “Oh god, ok I’m done listening” B: “But don’t you wanna hear about how good I am at riding dick? Roger’ll tell you all about it. He was SUPER vocal last night.” Freddie’s leaning on his hand like “tell me MORE!” *Roger somehow gets MORE red* B: “And oh my god he actually agreed to blow Steve, hottest thing I’ve seen In a LONG time” Freddie: “Oooooooooooooh Did my advice help?!? I made sure to walk him through how it works!!” B: “Is THAT why he was so good???” *Roger starts loudly playing the drums and singing I’m in love with my car* *talking over the drums* F: “DID HE DO THAT THING WITH HIS TONGUE?” B: “HOLY SHIT YES THAT DROVE STEVE CRAZY!” F: “OH! ROGER YOU ACTUALLY LISTENED TO ME FOR ONCE!” *roger screaming* “RATHER BUY ME A NEW CARBURETOR” B: “AND DAMN DOES HE KNOW HOW TO FUCK! THOSE GIRLS WERE N O T LYING” *Roger screaming louder* “CARS DON’T TALK BACK THEY’RE JUST FOUR WHEELED FRIENDS NOW” *Billy somehow louder* “HE EVEN SAID HE’D DO IT AGAIN!!” *freddie to Roger* “I’M SO PROUD OF YOU DARLING!!!”

*roger just screaming unintelligibly* F: “ROGER! QUIET!” He stops, and is panting Billy elbows Freddie like B: “He was panting just like that last night” R: “BYE” *hits them both with his drumsticks as he’s leaving* *simultaneously through their laughter* "Ooh so you’re into THAT aren’t you??” R: “Fuck you both” B: “Please???” *flips them off while laughing* *pops his head back through the door* R: “Actually, I’d rather have Steve fuck ME. That’d be interesting.” *slams it* *billy and Freddie slowly turn to look at each other and start screaming* “THAT’S SO FUCKING HOT” *cough* he totally gets fucked over his drum set at some point *cough* And he LOVES it S T O P FUCK HE LOVES IT SO MUCH. HE AND STEVE FUCK BILLY OVER THE DRUM SET SO BILLY CAN ENJOY IT TOO AND HE PLAYS THEM WHILE THEY’RE DOING IT

HE MAKES BILLY GUESS THE SONG AND AS SOON AS HE CAN’T ANYMORE THEY KNOW HE’S GONE HE PLAYS I’M IN LOVE WITH MY CAR AND WHEN HE CAN’T EVEN GET THAT ONE THEY KNOW HE’S  R E A L L Y  GONE

BILLY’S SOBBING ALL OVER THE DRUMS AND THERE’S CUM AND SPIT AND LUBE ON EVERYTHING AND ROGER KEEPS ON PLAYING AND FUCKING AND THE DRUMS MAKE THE GROSSEST SOUNDS BECAUSE THEY’RE COVERED BUT ITS THE BEST F U C K AND STEVE CANT HANDLE IT AND BILLY’S MUSH AND ROGER IS COMPLETELY IN CHARGE AND HE KNOWS IT

Fuck wait Roger wincing/whimpering when he sits down to play the next day YES WHIMPERING IS BETTER He forgets to clean off the drums and Brian asks him about it BR: “Roger, what’s up with the drums? Why are they so. . . Sticky?” R: “NO CLUE” Freddie pops in late “He fucked on those drums” R: “FREDDIE!” “What? It’s true!” BR: “WHAT THE HELL ROGER?! WHY!????!!!” R: *mumbled* “it was hot ok??” BR: *exasperated* “can’t you at least clean them after?!” R: “I mean I would’ve if my legs still worked” BR: “FUCK MAN is that why you were being all weird when you sat down??” R: “. . .” Brian walks away muttering “Not like I fuck on my damn guitar. Can’t believe I touched that shit.”

part two

[pettyprocrastination]

i got a 90/100 on my test so lets get INTO it BABES!!!

these are gonna be villain oriented so uhh....seggsy bitches be doing bad things 

Content Warning: talk of hunting, gore, murder, sacrifices, trapping. Overall violence and such. 

Frankie

I get lone cabin in the woods type of vibes from him

like man is prolly numb, which we see when he kills lorea and looks EMPTY from it 

doesnt give him adrenaline anymore 

looking for that rush, that thrill. 

so he packs up and starts fresh 

Kind man in a small town who doesnt talk much 

lives far out in the woods in this cabin that’s been in his family for aaages or he built himself

very good hunter, as many of the men in the town will tell you 

soft spoken kind man who will open the door for you and you're walking by and tucks his head over his head with a shy smile 

IM not saying he hunts people in the woods buuuuuuuuuut i can totally see him hunting mfs in the woods 

his cabin full of like antlers and horns all on display

full on traps and shit set up through the woods 

that predator instinct where the person is running and falling and in a panic but he’s just..calm and slowly walking after them? yeah that good shit

also weirdly great with ALL animals, strays show zero aggression to him when they were full on snapping and growling at the person before 

OR

hes the type of dude you think is the killer from the get go but turns out he’s not 

like you think this mf is hunting people in the forestsBUT MAYBE there’s like some fucking monster that eats people who wander into the forest so he is basically trying to get people to FUCK OFF so they dont die

sort of like a guardian/protector

but idk also him hunting mfs is kinda neato

Ezra

space thriller yes mam give it to me 

type of thing where you start out as cautious allies and the lines get blurry and you cant tell if he’s the bad guy or not 

will speak sweet words to you with that smile

“you can trust me, gem. I promise you”

Like either your ship crashes on the green and you find him, a seasoned harvester who swears to accompany you through the green to safety, as long as you take him back with you 

when you start coming across more dead prospectors you become more and more cautious of ezra

but he’s kind, a tad talkative but you enjoy it 

the stories he weaves make you feel at ease, and when you finally come across a camp for the night you feel almost anxious without him at your side, so its only logical that the pair of you share a sleeping bag together

you try to force your mind to stop connecting dots and swear its just anxiety, just fear. Even as he swears that he “may not be a good man, he definitely isn’t a cruel one.” while kissing down your neck late at night you cant help but remember the way he was so..impassive  at seeing the corpses and ransacked digs from previous prospectors.

this OR a similar idea on a prison transfer ship

you're a prisoner yourself being transferred and the ship either crashes or some “trapped inside while were picked off one by one” shit goes down

the man, ezra, he tells you, swears his only crime was stealing what had already been stolen from him. 

But when you saw how quickly he shot two other prisoners in the head with a thrower, you begin to suspect otherwise. 

The killing was in defense of you, of course. To keep you safe. 

“I find your company quiet soothing on this floating prison, gem. Perhaps we could stay together until our attacker has been found. For safety in numbers.”

of course youre no saint. Maybe your crime is more gruesome than his, but you still cant help feel a prickle on the back of your neck when he smiles at you, like a warning that this man isn’t who he claims to be. 

Oberyn Martell

cult leader

idk what it is but he gives off cult leader vibes 

okay but no joke its kind of hard to figure out what type of horror villian he’d be because he is a character that is very specific to like, medival genre so idk ugh 

but idk he’s just so suave and charming and he has a beautiful lover at his side who will speak sweet words to you and promises you luxury and pleasure and joy

i could def see him as a cult leader what can I say 

but also i enjoy the thought of him as the “cruel evil prince” of a far off land that psssstt they arent actually bad its just all liessss

i know i talked to @thesadvampire @max--phillips about naga!oberyn. being i mean

snake monster=red viper. it makes SENSE

type of thing where “we gotta make a sacrifice to keep scary snake monster prince happy so OOP youre gonna be the sacrifice were gonna tie you up and plop you in the middle of the desert for him byeeee” 

turns out mans isn’t actually evil and fidning a sobbing, gagged, and tied up woman left for dead? kind of HORRIBLE to do and it makes him enraged.

but yeah the whole “character gets left as sacrifice for a monster but they end up falling in love” thing? good

could also see hima nd ellaria as the couple that live in a big mysterious house together that you happen upon in a storm because “oh please sir ive been walking for miles in the rain could I trouble you to stay only for the night?” 

bigass victorian house with creepign shadows along the walls and doors the open and close on their own

that bitch is absoLUTELY haunted

show me a ballroom scene where its completly empty besides like you and ellaria but then you look in the mirror and see HUNDREDS of people all aroudn you dancing in gowns and youre confused and terrified 

anyways idk if that makes them ghosts or demons or vampires but me likey

Whiskey

For whiskey it’d have to be a different time period like actual wild wild west or like post civil war type shit idk 

Southern gothic vibes me thinks 

Like type of bounty hunter who sold his soul to the devil when he was alive to be the best shot there ever was. 

 Became a renouned bounty hunter who got hella money from jobs and was known to never miss a shot. 

When his time finally came he tried to fight it of course, everybody does. 

None of them were bold or stupid enough to try and shoot the devil in the face though. 

his bravery (and stupidity) is rewarded as such. 

Being forced to spend the rest fo time as the Devil’s personal hunter on earth. 

Has a small leather book tucked into the breast pocket of his coat. All the pages are blank, but occasionally a name will appear on the first page. 

Whiskey knows that name belongs to somebody whose time is up on earth, somebody who sold their soul just as he did. and now he’s the one who has to kill them and send them to hell. 

and of course his reputation stays in tact, he never misses a shot.

Idk i just think the imagery is cool. 

he’s got a hella dope revolver that has like engraved designs on the side and shit. 

anyway yee honk bitch is a demon/ghost/cowboy yeeyee

Max Philips

I mean..he kinda is already? 

Arguably it was more comedy than horror in a B film but still

the smiles and manipulation just..prime villian energy that could be expanded on

Like the idea of him with a reader whose a hunter, who always tracks him down and thus ensues a very sexually charged fight where they both nearly die cause neither one is going to back down

each time he GRINS because honestly he loves the cat-and-mouse you’ve got going on 

Will full on have a half-dead corpse he’s drinking the blood of in his hands and just plop it down and open his arms with a big ol smile 

“There you are sweetness! I was beginning to think you’d never find me again! Somebody is getting slow.”

he doesnt actually want to kill you, per se. 

Because he’s climbed the corporate ladder, has made a big success and accomplished his plan of turning the company full of vampires. 

So now hes kinda...bored. 

But you? Oh you bring back that spice into his life. That thrill and rush of adrenaline when you charge at him and he wonders “is this the day she finally kills me” who knows!?! He loves it. 

He’s not gonna go easy on you though. Oh no. 

You will have moments of “fuck this is how I die” whenever yall fight and may be greatly injured as such. 

But he’s still got a bit of a soft spot for you. So during the showdown he’ll find a way to duck off and disappear, so you can lick your wounds and hatch a plan to find him all over again. 

Dave York

Once more, man basically is one already. 

King of duality. Kill a bitch at night but by day he’s a loving father and husband. Going to the soccer games and bringing over the orange slices. Go girl give us everything.

classic style slasher 

He’s the sweet neighbor next door. 

Theres a string of killings happening in the residential area, the mayor issues out a curfew to keep people off the streets at night. 

Will chat about it to you when he goes out in the morning to grab the mail before going back in and washing the bloody clothes from last night before carol and the kids wake up. 

will go to a barbeque, talk about his last fishing trip with “steve and the boys” before stabbing some mfs the next night and then act shocked when he reads about it in the news next morning 

or it could be more along the lines of him as a hitman like he is in the movie 

idk i just like the classical slasher energy of this idea 

of like “we gotta figure out whose doing this!!” but uh oh its been your buddy dave the whole time 

but dont worry cause if youre the heroine in this story then you can kick his ass and ride off into the sunset with his wife and kids

#weloveandsupportcarolinayork

Marcus Pike

Con man

I mean there’s a whole big thing about how buying art and all that is basically a cover for money laundering. So I can see that being his style. 

Doesn’t want to kill people but damnit somebody saw something they shouldn’t have or starting snooping in the business and now he’s gotta kill you. Sorry bud

OR

that whole thing about a painter going mad trying to achieve their art 

like that one game 

ah shit 

layers of fear?? about the artist who basically used like blood and bone to try and make the perfect painting and went batshit trying to?? yeah smthn like that 

WAIT

anybody remember that movie velvet buzzsaw? where those paintings all became the way these rich boujee art critics died? yes some shit like that baby 

artists whose works predicts/causes the death of the classist assholes who look at it in galleries and are like “omg this is so bland its very telling of the *blah blah pretentious art talk* and OOP mf dead next day from suspicious events

Maxwell Lord

Cult.leader.

I know i said oberyn before but this man has cult leader energy 

the promises of greatness?? flaunting his wealth? telling you that you can achieve your dreams with his help? granting the desires of those who seek him out? the whole hand thing? yeah 

cult bitch right here

anyways these are all I have rn cause i jsut threw this onto the page after having some horror talks for no reason. I really like the frankie one, idk about the last ones but i enjoy these all!!! If you have any suggestions or want to talk about these at all PLS hmu I love talkgint to you guys or getting asks and anything of the sort!!

I gotta take an exam real right quick but when I get back I'm gonna work vomit about pedro characters as horror villians

[yhellowmil28]

Closure

My last letter to you..

I felt the need to do this so I can finally get the closure I wanted. I left unexpectedly bc I avoided confrontation about the problems in our relationship internally. I left because i knew if we stayed friends, we wouldnt have the same mutual feelings for each other anymore. I felt the more i stayed the more you were hoping i would still feel the same. But i didnt. The harshest reality is that our breakup was a slow burn. Overtime my feelings slowly disappeared and never came back. I dont know when it started but one day i woke up saying i dont wanna feel this way anymore and i started living by my word. There was a line where my heart had to stop loving and breaking bc i don’t know how many times i can put it back together again. Sorry if naconfused kta when i went back and forth on you. That pinaasa kta back then. Idk if i ever promised you anything but if i did im sorry i cant follow through with it. I realised maybe its time for me to believe and accept who you are and what your decided to do. Even though i didnt like it at least you were honest about it. Youre honest that youre unable to love me the way i needed to. You see I had an idealisation of you. I romanticised the love that i hoped for and your unwillingness to work for that was my perfect answer. So im sorry i can not reciprocate your feelings anymore. I had reasons to let go of you. I hope you understand my boundaries now and that what i had to offer doesnt come easy. Ethan, not every woman will correspond to your own time and healing. Not every woman will love you on your terms. Not every woman will wait and give you another chance pow. Thats on you and how youll take that responsibility. I have outgrown u in that and thats enough for me to let go. Im not gonna spend days waiting for you to recognise my worth and value.. that got me tired the first time round.

I reread your letters one day and i felt like you described how much i meant to u based on how i loved you unconditionally. But you still were holding back from change bc you thought i was never going to forgive you. Ethan im not gonna keep telling and emphasising how much i appreciated you. Ive reminded you that countless times in every letter and if it still left you wondering if i ever loved you back then you need a reality check. You cant love someone when you cant even love yourself first. You sought after my validation and love. You were never whole in the beginning. Maybe the next time you get into a relationship youll learn how to establish your boundaries and know your value and worth more. Bc recognising that will let you see the treatment people give you.

I went to church for nine days for Sto Nino. And recently on the eight day novena the priest talked about forgiveness. It made me remember during the time that we tried being friends and i remember still feeling deeply hurt by what you did to me and my friends. I never seemed to think about it until i heard his message. He said, “As humans we tend to be driven by our emotions. Only when we forgive can we receive God’s grace and peace. We run by this whenever others try to attack us by vile words and offence.” And i suddenly remembered crying as my hatred grew for you and i pushed the blame on you. Sa totoo lng i also have a fault in it. But instead i didnt want to hold accountable for it. I realised that i was not truthful to myself. I ignored and let my feelings got the best of me. And for that i do sincerely apologise. Sometimes we think people are undeserving to be forgiven due to the consequences they burdened you. (Come to think of it ayoko maging accountable for my own fault bc i didnt know how to fix the problem. And the problem made me very vulnerable. But i had to accept my wrong. I had to face them whether i liked it or not and own up my mistakes.) Though it's difficult it's not the matter of how much forgiveness they deserve but more of how much joy, happiness, and peace you really want in your life. And it's up to you if you're willing to let that go or hold on to it. So i forgive you ethan. It was hard to understand you at first but i realised that overtime the weight of pain does subsequently lighten up. And i dont hold anything against you at all. I dont hate you. Bc first, i got my answer and second its not your fault you didnt do what i needed you to do.

Not all the time everyone will love you for what you give. Your 100% in the relationship may differ from others but that doesnt mean you cant work on areas where you need to. Love is not linear. It is uncomfortable, unbalanced and everyday is a commitment. But if it doesnt benefit you anymore you have every right to leave. Im sorry for leaving you hanging like that but you knew what had to be done to let both of us heal. This was not my battle to fight. When i endured the pain, I thought i couldve done that alone. But i was forcing myself into something that wasnt for me. It takes two people for a relationship to work and sadly i felt like i was the only one trying. I learned that the hard way and with that there were shitty consequences. I failed to take accountability and blamed it on you and for that again i sincerely apologise. I may have worsen your trauma but you should know yourself and not let it define you. Oo makapal tlaga yung mukha ko. But where would i be if i let others opinion get the best of me. After what i did to my friends i still have more lessons to learn. One is that im not perfect. Ive committed many sins and mistakes that ive regretted since idk birth which left a hole inside of me. And God sees that im not perfect. It does not excuse me from being accountable for my actions but whats enlightening is that God has never judged me for my decisions in life. He has never abandoned me through every step of my journey regardless if ako yung kusang lumalayo. He sees through my flaws and impurity. And he healed me. The parable of the leper. Just watch this when you have time.. in day 3 it spoke a lot about Gods love for us. https://youtu.be/8KDz2VG8tUQ ...when i dont let myself be defined by my own problems and issues, it made me a stronger person.

But for now im gonna prioritise myself. And slowly gain back what i lost in the process of losing myself. As selfish as it may sound i dont feel the need of anyone to complete me. I am complete by myself and im happy. I could care less what you think what others will think as long as i know myself and i know what im capable of. For now i will keep my head up and heart open to those that deserve it. I wish you the best in life, ethan. I hope you still know that i care for you. I still have the same respect for you as a person.

You can reach out to us for anything. Well be here to support you if youre willing. Im okay, ive gotten over it and ive grown from this experience. I have so much to learn from myself and for now i need to focus and grow by myself. I pray everyday that you will heal and continue to seek for growth. I hope you dont condemn to what others made you believe. I hope that watever lofe throws at you youll still learn how to be kind. I hope you will find the wisdom and truth that God shows within our lives. I pray that whatever that is bearing upon your shoulders would soon be lifted up by the Lord. I hope you would allow yourself to forgive those who have done you wrong, and not hold on to the past and let it define you. I wish God would enlighten you with the wisdom of forgiveness and peace as He had forgiven us for our sins. Your identity is in him.

Ephesians 4:31-32; "Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you."

Amen. Thank you for your time. Have a good day.

[forethan21]

I felt the need to do this so I can finally get the closure I wanted. I left unexpectedly bc I avoided confrontation about the problems in our relationship internally. I left because i knew if we stayed friends, we wouldnt have the same mutual feelings for each other anymore. I felt the more i stayed the more you were hoping i would still feel the same. But i didnt. The harshest reality is that our breakup was a slow burn. Overtime my feelings slowly disappeared and never came back. I dont know when it started but one day i woke up saying i dont wanna feel this way anymore and i started living by my word. There was a line where my heart had to stop loving and breaking bc i don’t know how many times i can put it back together again. Sorry if naconfused kta when i went back and forth on you. That pinaasa kta back then. Idk if i ever promised you anything but if i did im sorry i cant follow through with it. I realised maybe its time for me to believe and accept who you are and what your decided to do. Even though i didnt like it at least you were honest about it. Youre honest that youre unable to love me the way i needed to. You see I had an idealisation of you. I romanticised the love that i hoped for and your unwillingness to work for that was my perfect answer. So im sorry i can not reciprocate your feelings anymore. I had reasons to let go of you. I hope you understand my boundaries now and that what i had to offer doesnt come easy. Ethan, not every woman will correspond to your own time and healing. Not every woman will love you on your terms. Not every woman will wait and give you another chance pow. Thats on you and how youll take that responsibility. I have outgrown u in that and thats enough for me to let go. Im not gonna spend days waiting for you to recognise my worth and value.. that got me tired the first time round.

I reread your letters one day and i felt like you described how much i meant to u based on how i loved you unconditionally. But you still were holding back from change bc you thought i was never going to forgive you. Ethan im not gonna keep telling and emphasising how much i appreciated you. Ive reminded you that countless times in every letter and if it still left you wondering if i ever loved you back then you need a reality check. You cant love someone when you cant even love yourself first. You sought after my validation and love. You were never whole in the beginning. Maybe the next time you get into a relationship youll learn how to establish your boundaries and know your value and worth more. Bc recognising that will let you see the treatment people give you.

I went to church for nine days for Sto Nino. And recently on the eight day novena the priest talked about forgiveness. It made me remember during the time that we tried being friends and i remember still feeling deeply hurt by what you did to me and my friends. I never seemed to think about it until i heard his message. He said, “As humans we tend to be driven by our emotions. Only when we forgive can we receive God’s grace and peace. We run by this whenever others try to attack us by vile words and offence.” And i suddenly remembered crying as my hatred grew for you and i pushed the blame on you. Sa totoo lng i also have a fault in it. But instead i didnt want to hold accountable for it. I realised that i was not truthful to myself. I ignored and let my feelings got the best of me. And for that i do sincerely apologise. Sometimes we think people are undeserving to be forgiven due to the consequences they burdened you. (Come to think of it ayoko maging accountable for my own fault bc i didnt know how to fix the problem. And the problem made me very vulnerable. But i had to accept my wrong. I had to face them whether i liked it or not and own up my mistakes.) Though it's difficult it's not the matter of how much forgiveness they deserve but more of how much joy, happiness, and peace you really want in your life. And it's up to you if you're willing to let that go or hold on to it. So i forgive you ethan. It was hard to understand you at first but i realised that overtime the weight of pain does subsequently lighten up. And i dont hold anything against you at all. I dont hate you. Bc first, i got my answer and second its not your fault you didnt do what i needed you to do.

Not all the time everyone will love you for what you give. Your 100% in the relationship may differ from others but that doesnt mean you cant work on areas where you need to. Love is not linear. It is uncomfortable, unbalanced and everyday is a commitment. But if it doesnt benefit you anymore you have every right to leave. Im sorry for leaving you hanging like that but you knew what had to be done to let both of us heal. This was not my battle to fight. When i endured the pain, I thought i couldve done that alone. But i was forcing myself into something that wasnt for me. It takes two people for a relationship to work and sadly i felt like i was the only one trying. I learned that the hard way and with that there were shitty consequences. I failed to take accountability and blamed it on you and for that again i sincerely apologise. I may have worsen your trauma but you should know yourself and not let it define you. Oo makapal tlaga yung mukha ko. But where would i be if i let others opinion get the best of me. After what i did to my friends i still have more lessons to learn. One is that im not perfect. Ive committed many sins and mistakes that ive regretted since idk birth which left a hole inside of me. And God sees that im not perfect. It does not excuse me from being accountable for my actions but whats enlightening is that God has never judged me for my decisions in life. He has never abandoned me through every step of my journey regardless if ako yung kusang lumalayo. He sees through my flaws and impurity. And he healed me. The parable of the leper. Just watch this when you have time.. in day 3 it spoke a lot about Gods love for us. https://youtu.be/8KDz2VG8tUQ ...when i dont let myself be defined by my own problems and issues, it made me a stronger person.

But for now im gonna prioritise myself. And slowly gain back what i lost in the process of losing myself. As selfish as it may sound i dont feel the need of anyone to complete me. I am complete by myself and im happy. I could care less what you think what others will think as long as i know myself and i know what im capable of. For now i will keep my head up and heart open to those that deserve it. I wish you the best in life, ethan. I hope you still know that i care for you. I still have the same respect for you as a person.

You can reach out to us for anything. Well be here to support you if youre willing. Im okay, ive gotten over it and ive grown from this experience. I have so much to learn from myself and for now i need to focus and grow by myself. I pray everyday that you will heal and continue to seek for growth. I hope you dont condemn to what others made you believe. I hope that watever lofe throws at you youll still learn how to be kind. I hope you will find the wisdom and truth that God shows within our lives. I pray that whatever that is bearing upon your shoulders would soon be lifted up by the Lord. I hope you would allow yourself to forgive those who have done you wrong, and not hold on to the past and let it define you. I wish God would enlighten you with the wisdom of forgiveness and peace as He had forgiven us for our sins. Your identity is in him.

Ephesians 4:31-32; "Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you."

Amen. Thank you for your time. Have a good day.

[mikey-likey]

You’ll Be Here Right? - Michael Clifford Smut

BestFriend!Michael smut i didn’t think it’d end like the way it did when i started writing but oh well . smut part is short fyi

1200ish words

———————————

It happened again. This time it was Tom. Last time it was Jake and next time it’d probably be George. It felt like an endless pattern. They’d ask Y/N out, she’d agree, after a few dates she’d fall for them then get her heart broken. The only constant boy in her life was her best friend Michael. Michael was also a  part of this routine, she’d always come crying to his door and he’d always gladly be a shoulder to cry on. This time was no different. Y/N was currently knocking on Michael’s door, while trying to wipe the tears silently falling from her eyes.

Michael sighed as he saw Y/N crying at his doorstep. He was used to this but he was starting to get frustrated. Seeing the girl he likes telling him about how much she likes other boys then crying about how much she loved them was getting too much.

“Tim this time was it?” Michael asked. “Tom. And i really loved him this time Mike believe me!” she corrected him. “Sure.” Michael said rolling his eyes while leading her to the living room. “I’ll bring the ice cream then we can watch the romantic movies you wanna watch.” Y/N nodded and patiently waited for Michael. Michael always kept ice cream in his fridge for two reasons; Y/N’s ’ time of the moths ’s and Y/N’s break ups.

They spent the next 4 hours cuddling and watching movies. Y/N was half asleep for crying all those hours and Michael playing with her hair wasn’t helping her. Suddenly Michael’s phone rang and he gently placed Y/N off of him and went into kitchen to take the call. “Hey bro we’re heading out to a bar you coming?” Calum cheerfully asked. “Nah bro i’m with Y/N.” “Oh shit another break up?” “Yeah..” Michael sighed. “You have to tell her how you feel Mike. It’s not only destroying you but it’s also destroying her.” “I can’t Cal. She just broke up with that Tom guy and she swears she ’ loves ’ him.” “Bro she always says that. Do you really think she means it?” “I know she doesn’t but what am i supposed to say? Hey Y/N i know we’ve been best friends since forever but i’m an asshole who’s got a crush on you.” “You like me?” Michael startled when he heard Y/N’s voice and quickly turned around, muttered a quick i gotta go to Calum. “Umm what? haha who? Me? No way!” Michael sweated nervously. “Michael i heard you, you can’t hide it now.” Y/N said rolling her eyes. Michael was fuming. He started yelling, “Yes okay maybe i have a crush on you so what? Maybe i don’t want to hear about all those amazing dates you go on, i wanna take you on those dates. Maybe i want to love you the right way so what Y/N?”

After Michael’s violent yells they were both quiet. Michael sighed and said “I’ll understand if you walk out that door now and i promise i won’t be mad just please don’t make me more embarrassed than i am right now.” “There’s nothing to be embarrassed Michael.I’ve liked you since 9th grade but i thought you only saw me as your best friend. That’s why i never said anything.” “Wait you’re not joking right?” Michael asked shocked. “No Mİkey i’m 100% serious.” Y/N giggled. Michael took shy steps towards her,slowly touched her cheeked and whispered, “Can i kiss you?” cause he thought the spell’d break if he spoke a little louder.

Y/N didn’t give him an answer, instead she smashed her lips against Mike’s. It didn’t feel like kissing all those other boys, this time she felt the love Mikey had for her. Michael lifted her up and sat her on the kitchen counter. Their lips stayed locked, never once breaking. Y/N’s hands were in Michael’s hair playing with it meanwhile Michael’s were roaming Y/N’s body, exploring the territory he’d always wanted to explore but never got the chance. He pushed her skirt up a bit and finally placed his hands on Y/N’s inner thighs. Y/N could feel herself getting turned on from the closeness of his hands. “Take me to your bedroom please Mike.” Y/N begged. Michael lifted her up and carried her to his bedroom.

They continued their making out on his bed. Y/N started moving her hands lower but Michael stopped her. “Y/N i want you to be sure about this. I don’t want to be just a rebound. I want you to be sure about you feelings before we do this.” Of course Michael wanted to have sex with Y/N, he just didn’t want her to wake up the following day regretting everything and leaving him. “Mike i’m as sure as one could be. Trust me when i say i have feelings for you i mean it.”

After hearing Y/N’s words, he quickly took his tshirt off. Nothing could stop him now. He was gonna make sweet love to the girl who he liked for the longest time, loved even. Y/N rolled Michael on his back and explored the revealed skin of his chest. She kissed his neck, left a few hickeys here and there, then continued her way down. She motioned Michael to lift his hips up so she could pull his pants and boxers down. Y/N reached to touch his hard member but Michael suddenly sat up and said “Wait! I want you clothes off too.” Y/N sighed and took her tshirt and skirt off. She looked a bit distressed. Mikey immediately realised that and asked her whether she’s ok. She shrugged it off and said she was. Y/N reached for his cock again but she wasn’t interrupted this time which pleased her. She placed her hand on the base of his cock and slowly stroked him. Y/N lifted her head up to look at Michael’s reaction, he had thrown his had back, letting out quiet profanities. Liking his reaction Y/N took him in her mouth and jerked him faster. “Yeah baby keep doing that.” Michael ran his hand through Y/N’s hair urging her to go deeper. She let go off his cock and deepthroated him. Michael let out a load moan, he didn’t know she had it in her. Not knowing what to do with her other hand, she decided to just play with Michael’s balls. “Y/N! Y/N! Y/N IM COMING BABY YES YES YEs!” Michael moaned and pulled at her hair. Y/N came up to kiss his lips after he came. Michael unexpectedly turned her over and kissed down her body.

“Michael no. No please stop.” “Why what happened baby? I thought you wanted it.” “I do it’s not that. It’s just i’m sleepy you know. My eyes are still puffy from crying.” “Oh. Okay i get it anyways we can continue tomorrow or another day. We have all the time we want now.” Michael said smiling. He spooned her and felt complete bliss. He was finally with the girl he wanted for so long.  " I cant believe we’re finally together. I feel like this is all a dream and you won’t be here when i wake up but you’ll be right baby?“ Michael asked yawning. "Yeah, sure.” “Promise?” “… Promise.” “Goodnight i think i love you.” After saying that Michael closed his eyes it was apparent that he was tired. Y/N was wide awake though she waited for Michael to fall asleep and to her luck it didn’t take long.

She slipped out of his hold and quietly put her clothes back on. She cast one last look to Michael then turned around and left the room.

[satan-ruler-of-hells]

I know i usually post in all caps on these works but i cant manage it right now because i honest to god have so many emotions about this

I had to put my phone down several times while reading this because it's just so beautifully and perfectly written.

When you told me you were coming for my life i didn't realize how perfectly you meant that we just gonna break this down

So i know we talked about some of these things last night you're still getting a play by play

Hinata

This man right here is a whole gift. Child of divorce absolutely took the title of the man of the house with dignity and grace and i hope he knows how proud he should be because i am so so proud of him. "-his eyes still bright and smile still soft although not as wide as it usually was." Mans is heartbroken that you're going through this but he's got you bby. Please wrap me in a blanket that smells like Hinata that's what i need. Also hinata is 100% me like me too baby we kept them together and i just wanna give you a hug HINATA DESERVES A HUG LET ME HELP YOU CARRY THAT BURDEN BBY I'm in love with him. Plesse lets scream into the void with him please. Ima whole simp for this hyperactive tangerine 😭😭😭

Bokuto

Came for my whole life part 2, this reader is probably the most like me (changed the meaning did you intend this*insert Hamilton reference") i need a bokuto he was one of my first loves in this show ya know

I mostly feel attacked but also so so seen you angel you baby is so shy he was trying to be discreet about it i wanna give him a kith 😭 i need a Bokuto

I think about those things a lot like what my parents used to do and how in love they used to be and things they did and if I'm just doomed to repeat that viscous cycle you really came for me so much 😂😂😂

I put my phone down a lot reading hinatas and bokutos but just that line "At least with Bokuto, you knew that he would always try to make you smile, even when you two were arguing over the dumbest things ever. Why? Because he loved you." Get you a man like that but yeah catch me at the altar getting ready to be Mrs. Bokuto if i can get over my crippling fear of commitment

Tendou

We all know how much I love this man so you know this hit different.

Poor bby was so excited had no idea what he was walking into 😂😭

Tendo: sees tears "Tendo.exe has malfunctioned"

COMING FOR MY WHOLE LIFE "-you should've known it would happen. ...... so why were you so hurt" YIKES OW NOW THAT WAS A LOT OF DAMAGE

Ngl imagining a Tendou hug made me feel so safe and warm and i need this

Poor mans has anxiety AND THEN GET ANXIETY ABOUT HIS ANXIETY OF THAT AINT ME IDK WHAT IS

Im pretty much gonna make this whole paragraph my lock screen probably

"'I can't promise things will be ok.' Tendo said after a moment, glancing over at you and watching you chew on a gummy worm slowly. 'But I can promise that we can get through anything together. I'll be with you whenever you need me alright? Even if you just want to cry some more, or if you want to get out of the house. I'll be there. I'll come running across the city if I have to.' He promised you with a small smile, patting your head affectionately."

Ripped my soul out gave it a kiss and healed it a bit that did

I love Tendo so much mans really was like "you ain't getting off that easy you're stuck with me" like yes sir please and thank

Long story short Pies this is gorgeous. You did this so so beautifully and i just thank you so so much for writing it. I don't even have the words to properly express how much this means to me.

hii i saw your requests were open (glad they are your good and writing:3) so i was wondering if you could do haikyuu boys comforting their partner after they found out their parents are getting a divorce please if you can do atsumu, bokuto and hinata please:)) thank you!!

pairings: hinata shoyo, bokuto kōtarō, & tendō satori, all with a gn!reader

warnings: mentions of parents divorcing, sad angsty feels, but i tried to make it as fluffy as possible so it could be a comfort piece

a/n: hiiiii thank you so much for requesting!! i actually don't write for atsumu so i've replaced him with Tendo! so i have never had to go through this experience so please be aware that i wrote this from my understanding and how difficult i perceive these situations to be. i hope it works as a comfort fic for all of my mutuals and friends out there, as well as any of you who just so happen to come across this <3 a huge thank you to @satan-ruler-of-hells for helping me out with tendō part. i love you babes and i hope you know that you are worth everything happy in the world. Also pls note these gifs are not mine

haikyuu masterlist

Hinata was the first person you told after your parents broke the news to you. You had rushed out the door and arrived at his place, standing on his front porch with soft sobs escaping your lips.

"Y/N!" Hinata's huge smile froze as he opened the door, noting the look of absolute distress on your face before ushering you in. "What happened? Are you hurt? Did something happen?" He asked eagerly, glancing over you quickly as if to make sure you weren't bleeding from anywhere.

You knew he would understand. Hinata had told you a while back that his dad left when Natsu was still a baby. He had said it so casually, like he was talking about what day he was born or when his next volleyball game was. But you saw that flash of loss in his eyes before he turned back to you with his usual huge grin, "It just means I've got to be a good big brother for Natsu," he explained before moving onto another topic.

You knew he could empathize, you knew that if there was anyone out there who could take this heavy weight off of your chest, it would be your boyfriend.

"Do you want hot chocolate?" Hinata asked suddenly, his eyes still bright and his smile still soft, although not as wide as it usually was.

You watched him for a second, wondering if he had actually heard what you had said, before nodding slowly. He brought you to his room and sat you on his bed, wrapped his blanket around you and tucked it under your chin tightly, "I'll be back okay?" He smiled at you, patting your head gently before rushing off to the kitchen.

You could feel yourself growing numb inside even while he was gone. The words your parents said to you were starting to fade away, you couldn't even remember what their reasons were at this point. But you knew that life would never be the same.

"Here, love," Hinata whispered, making you jump a little as you realized he had come back. "It's still hot, but it'll warm your hands," he told you as he crawled into bed next to you, putting the mug on the nearby table so you could warm your hands but not have to really hold it. "Do you... want to talk about it?"

Your eyes slowly moved to him, like they were moving through gelatin, like all of time was just slowing down so you could feel ever single tear that was ripping in your heart. You weren't really sure if you wanted to talk about it. What was there to talk about?

The two of you just sat in silence for a while, Hinata's hand taking one of yours gently and just tracing shapes into it slowly as he kept a careful watch on you. He remembered putting on a face for his sister and mother, he remembered smiling and pretending like everything was just fine because his mother did the same thing. She acted like there were no problems in the situation but Hinata knew she had cried so many nights in her room.

He wondered how to make you feel safe, how to make you feel loved, how to make you not feel so alone while you were going through this.

"I know it's for the best," you whispered after a while, your throat feeling dry. "They haven't been happy for a long time."

Hinata just nodded understandingly, watching as you slowly took a sip of your drink. "Maybe this will be good," he offered softly. "Less arguments."

You wanted to agree but your stomach twisted at the idea of it. All those nights you spent at Hinata's house, studying and working together because your parents had been arguing at home. All those times you had just wished they would just stop. All those prayers sent up to the sky, begging for things to be different. You wondered if this was your fault. Had this been because of you? Had those arguments been about you? Was this your fault because you prayed for it?

"It's not your fault," Hinata whispered as he watched you start to spiral. "When my dad left, I always wondered if I could've done something different to make him stay. But... the truth is we can't really force our parents to do anything right?" He gave a forced sort of chuckle, staring at the floor as he was reminded of the burden on his shoulders. "Your parents are doing what they think is best for them and for you..."

You nodded this time, drinking more of your hot chocolate before lying down and laying your head on his lap. You felt the tears in your eyes slip away, your nose starting to sting as you tried to hold in your sobs. Hinata held you the whole time, playing with your hair like you liked, drawing shapes into your arm as he just let you cry. He pulled a tissue box from his desk and placed it at your lap for if/when you needed them, whispering to you that he loved you and that he would always be here for you if you needed him.

Later that week, Hinata showed up at your house this time. You seemed so much emptier than usual these past few days and Hinata wanted to help however he could. You tried to insist that you didn't want to go anywhere, that you wanted to curl up in bed and just cry some more like you had all the other previous evenings. But he begged you with that adorable face of his and you found it hard to say no.

The two of you walked to an empty hillside somewhere, far away from the lights of the cities, so dark you could see the stars lighting up the sky. "I used to come here when I was little," Hinata explained. When my dad left, you could practically hear his thoughts. "I used to come and scream and yell and just... get it all out."

He looked at you with a smile, like this was a decent enough explanation. "Shoyo, I'm not going to scream into the air-" you started, wondering if he knew how embarrassed you felt.

Hinata's whole body filled up with air as he sucked in some oxygen before screaming out, "I WISH MY DAD HAD STAYED TO TAKE CARE OF MY MOM AND MY SISTER!"

You blinked in surprise, the echoes of his voice reaching all sorts of corners of the forest beneath this hillside, "S-Shoyo, you'll wake people up," you warned him.

"I WISH MY MOM DIDN'T CRY SO OFTEN AND I WISH I HAD A DAD TO HELP US AROUND THE HOUSE!" He continued and you wondered if those were tears forming in his eyes or if it was just from the wind.

"I WISH I HADN'T PRAYED FOR THINGS TO BE DIFFERENT!" You finally screamed with him, eyes shut tightly as you balled up your fists against your side. "I WISH MY PARENTS HAD TRIED MORE. I WISH THEY DIDN'T ARGUE SO MUCH. I WANTED US TO BE THE PERFECT FAMILY!"

Hinata watched as you screamed yourself into catharsis, tears starting to streak down your cheeks, "I WISH MY DAD HAD GIVEN ME A GOOD EXAMPLE OF HOW TO BE THE BEST HUSBAND!" He yelled some more, screaming out all of his little insecurities.

You turned to look at him with your somewhat teary vision, your bottom lip quivering, "I-I wish... I don't want to end up like them," you whispered to him, your voice sounding so quiet after the two of you had yelled so much.

Hinata wrapped you in his arms slowly, squeezing you tightly to remind you that loved you, "We won't. I won't let you slip away from me. I love you, Y/N," he murmured to you gently, pressing a kiss to your forehead as the two of you just stood there for a while longer. Even though you both had so many things you wished were different, both you and Hinata knew that the one thing that would always remain constant, was how you felt about each other.

Bokuto hadn't actually found out about your parents from you. It was your younger sibling that messaged him, concerned that you were putting up a facade to ensure the family would be okay. Bokuto felt hurt at first, wondering why you wouldn't tell him about your parents separating. Until he remembered you. You, the love of his life, who was so strongly independent and always put your family first. You, who probably hadn't even cried or broken into a frown in front of your parents or sibling yet, because you always felt you had to be the one taking care of them.

"Will you come for a walk with me?" He messaged you randomly later that night. "I've got a lot on my mind and I just feel like having you with me always makes me feel better."

He knew if he had asked you to come talk to him, or insinuated that he noticed something was up, you'd insist everything was fine. You were always honest with him, it wasn't like you'd lie to him and say that your family life was okay. But you'd shrug it off, pretend like it was no big deal, and then later, he'd find you crying in an empty classroom.

You were always so good at taking care of others, so he knew you'd say yes. He waited for you outside of your house with a signature Bokuto hug and a tight squeeze, pressing kisses all over your cheeks as he just looked at you. His eyes flickered over yours quickly, noting that you didn't look like you had cried at all.

"What's on your mind, babe?" You asked him softly, the two of you linking arms together as you started to walk towards the park you often ventured in the evenings.

"I just feel like I haven't seen you in a while," Bokuto explained with a small smile. "Practice always gets so busy and I know you've got a lot of schoolwork going on... Just wanted to make sure I got to see your perfect face."

"My sister told you didn't she?" You asked after a while, glancing up at him. "She told you about my parents."

Bokuto nodded slowly, giving you a sheepish sort of smile as he squeezed your hand, "We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you, Bo," you sighed, looking up at the sky slightly as you wondered about your place in the world. "I just... I didn't want to burden you with all my emotions."

"Hey, what kind of boyfriend would I be if I wasn't around to help support you?" Bokuto insisted, nudging you gently. "You're not a burden, your emotions aren't either. I wasn't going to pry because I know you like to do things on your own time. But... please don't feel like you can't ask me for help."

You looked over at him and his loving eyes, nodding slowly as you hugged his arm to you more, "Thanks love."

True to his word, Bokuto didn't pry. He knew that your parents had been pretty cold to each other for a while now and he was sure that this decision didn't happen rashly. But he also knew that this meant you were going to feel like you had to pick up the slack in the house. So he wanted to make sure you still felt like a normal teenager while you could. "Could you show me how to do that thing?" he asked excitedly as you guys got to a nearby body of water.

You laughed at how eager he was, squatting down and piling rocks in his hands, "I told you, you can't just pick any rock," you giggled, looking around for the perfect one. "Here!" You handed it to him with a smile, stepping back as if to watch his form. "Alright, show me what you remember."

Bokuto grinned and attempted to flick his wrist like you had shown him so many times before. The rock skipped maybe once before sinking down the bottom of the little lake, Bokuto frowning, "Aw dang it. And that was such a good rock too!"

"Don't worry," you smiled, starting to look around for more. "We'll find more."

The two of you spent an hour skipping rocks and giggling to each other, you practically falling over with laughter when Bokuto tried some super fancy move and fell on his butt instead.

"Hey look!" Bokuto gaped, holding a smaller pebble in his hand.

"That's too small for skipping," you shook your head but he huffed in response.

"No! Not for skipping!" He shoved the rock in your face, grinning ear to ear as he showed you the heart shape design. "It's a heart! That has to be good luck right?"

You tried to give him a smile as you felt your own heart fall a little, nodding slowly, "Y-Yea, Bo, that's probably real good luck."

Bokuto watched you curiously before taking your hand in his, squeezing it gently, "What is it, Y/N?"

You looked up at him nervously, millions of thoughts running through your head as you tried to think of words to describe what it was you were feeling, "I just... I just wondered if my parents ever did this," you admitted quietly, staring down at your feet. "Did my dad ever call my mom cute names? Did he ever spontaneously bring her for a walk? Did they skip rocks together?"

Bokuto paused a little, letting you get all of these feelings off your chest as he tipped your chin up so he could look at you. "Why are you thinking about that, love?" He questioned softly.

"Because... what if my parents used to do everything that we do... what if... what if we end up the same way? Is that just what we're destined for? Is that just how love works? Feels like perfection and everything is amazing and wonderful until one day it's not? One day it's just complaining about dirty dishes and arguing over who has to watch the kids, snide remarks and whispered arguments that we think our kids won't hear? Is that our future? Are we going to break up? I-" You catch yourself running out of breath as you ramble, your heart pounding against your chest as you finally look up at Bokuto, this boy that you loved more than anything in the world. "I don't want to lose you, Kōtarō."

Bokuto normally would be giddy that you said his first name, because he loved when you called him by his first name. But right now he could see you holding back tears, he could see how you were trying so hard to be strong when you didn't have to.

"You aren't losing me, babe," he told you softly, but his voice was firm. "We could argue about anything in the world but I'm not leaving your side until you look me in the eye and tell me you don't love me anymore. And even then, I'll do my damn best to get you to feel that way about me again unless you tell me you want me to stop. Because you are my everything, darling, and I would never want to give up on you. Some people... they just don't fit the way they want to. But you and I? We were made for each other," Bokuto smiled at you, pulling you closer to him so he could press his forehead against yours. "I promise you, I'll always fight for you. For us."

The two of you stood there for a while longer, Bokuto holding you so you would know you were never alone. Eventually, you walked back to your house, giving him a somewhat tearful smile as you hugged him just one more time, "I'll see you tomorrow," he told you gently, as if it was a promise.

"I love you, Kōtarō," you sniffled, wiping your eyes quickly. "I love you more than I can really say."

Bokuto smiled and patted your head gently before taking your hand and placing in it, the small heart-shaped pebble he had found earlier, "I love you more, my dear," he grinned, pecking one last kiss to your forehead before. "Tomorrow okay?"

You nodded eagerly, giving him a small wave as he started to walk backwards to the main road. "I love you!" He yelled one more time, probably louder than he should've, given the time, but he grinned and kept waving to you until he was gone from your sight.

That little heart-shaped pebble sat on your dresser ever since that night and every time you would see it, you would remember that there was hope that not all relationships would end in arguments and fiery tempers. At least with Bokuto, you knew that he would always try to make you smile, even when you two were arguing over the dumbest things ever. Why? Because he loved you.

Tendō had been thrilled for tonight for the past week, his grins growing bigger and bigger as the days led up to it. The two of you were finally going to sit down and binge watch one of his favourite animes, snacks and comfy blankets surrounding you both with no bed time in sight!

He was humming to himself as he got up to your front door, singing a little song about how excited he was as he heard the soft sound of footsteps come to the door.

You knew you had forgotten something. With everything that had happened in the past few hours, there was something tugging on your brain, desperately trying to get you to remember. But to no avail. Until you opened the door to see the sweetest boyfriend ever with a backpack filled with candies and comfy sweaters.

Tendō always thought you were the most beautiful human to ever walk the planet, but the tears that were still streaking down your face definitely threw him off. He stared at you for a moment, a crease in his brow as he immediately wrapped you into a hug, “Darling what’s wrong?” He asked quietly, trying to think of all the scenarios that could’ve happened.

You didn’t want him to leave, not right now. Everyone was leaving you apparently and you really didn’t want to send away the only person you knew would stay with you off into the night, so you grabbed his arm and tugged him into the house. The two of you scurried off to your room and as soon as you closed the door behind you two, the tears and sobs started to come back.

Your dad was leaving. Of course he was leaving, you should’ve known it would happen. Your parents had been distant for years now... so why were you still hurt? You crawled into Tendō arms, crying quietly into his shoulder as he just sat on your bed, holding you.

You had a million thoughts happening and yet none of those thoughts were about how to explain this to your boyfriend. You knew he’d be supportive, but every time you thought about telling him, “My parents are getting a divorce,” your eyes would become blurry with tears again and you’d have to hold back an ungodly wail.

Tendō sat there for a while with you, comforting you in silence because he really wasn’t sure what to say. He wasn’t even really sure what was going on. His mind raced through the events of today, because you seemed totally okay when he saw you for lunch earlier. Had something happened between now and lunch? Had he done something to upset you? Was this about all those harmless pranks he pulled? About how much he teased you? Had he hit the head of some really important insecurity you had and now you were bawling your eyes out?

Tendō’s eyes widened as he watched you for a moment, wondering if this was it. Was the best thing that had ever happened to him about to leave him? Were you trying to break up with him but just didn’t know how to do it? How much of a monster was he really if he was making a wonderful person like you cry this bad? He felt a prickle against his eyes, sniffling quietly as he realized that he too was crying now.

“T-Ten?” You blinked in surprise, looking up to find tears streaking down your boyfriend’s face. “Why are you crying?” You asked him in confusion, wiping your eyes quickly so you could see him clearly.

“Well why are you crying?” Tendō asked immediately after, worry crossing his normally carefree eyes. “Is... Are you trying to tell me something? Do you need me to leave?”

You couldn’t really understand why he was saying what he was saying, but the waver in his voice made you just hug him tighter. “Please don’t go,” you whispered to him quietly as you felt your head starting to ache from all your crying. “I don’t want to be alone right now.”

Tendō held you tighter and pressed a kiss to your head eagerly, “Then I’ll stay with you forever,” he murmured softly.

“Please don’t cry,” you looked up at him shyly, grabbing a nearby tissue box for the two of you. “Seeing you cry makes me want to cry more.”

“Then tell me what’s wrong darling,” he insisted softly. He knew now that it might not actually be about you two that you were crying about, but even still, seeing you cry this much hurt him more than he could really understand.

You took in a breathe, hugging him to you as much as you could as if you were worried he would disappear. Then, after a moment, you explained the situation to him. More tears formed in your eyes and you hiccuped and stammered your way through the whole situation, hanging your head in sorrow as he just rubbed your back gently.

Tendō felt awful as he helped you wipe away your tears and watched you struggle to breathe from your now clogged nose. How selfish was he for thinking this was all about him? 

He wanted to offer you some sort of comfort, tell you everything was going to be okay but honestly, he wasn’t sure if it would be. He thought about how Ushijima turned out, though his parents separated when he was really young. But things could still be okay couldn’t they?

“Do you want to talk more about it?” He asked after a while, squeezing your hand in his as you tried to steady your shaky breath.

“I don’t think so,” you mumbled quietly. “I just... I just want things to be okay.”

Your boyfriend leaned his head back, staring at your ceiling for a moment before nudging you off of his lap gently, “Come on, let’s get you some fresh air,” he suggested.

You didn’t really want to go if you were being honest, you really wanted to just curl into your bed and cry yourself into a deep sleep. But Tendō took your hand and pulled you outside anyways. The two of you sat against one of the trees near your house, staring up at the sky that was freckled with stars, and the look of all the city lights in the distance. He had brought out some of the snacks he had come over with, insisting that you have some because sweets made you happy, and he wanted you to be happy.

“I can’t promise things will be okay,” Tendō said after a moment, glancing over at you and watching you chew on a gummy slowly. “But I can promise that we can get through anything together. I’ll be with you whenever you need me alright? Even if you just want to cry some more, or if you want to get out of the house. I’ll be there. I’ll come running across the city if I have to,” he promised you with a small smile, patting your head affectionately. 

You weren’t really sure what it was about him but Tendō seemed so different here than he was when you two were normally hanging about. He was rarely so serious and down-to-earth, and seeing him in this new way made you feel like you really could depend on him. “I’m sorry I ruined our anime night,” you squeaked after a while, tugging on his shirt to get his attention as he stared off to the night sky.

“Oh hush, you dummy,” Tendō chuckled lovingly, poking your side playfully, “There are so many nights ahead of us to watch anime. Cause you and I are forever ya know?”

Forever, you thought in your head, just watching him for a moment. You wondered how so many couples could break up and leave each other, how after moments like this, where you realized just how much you loved the other person, how they could move on and feel this with someone else. 

Not you two though, you promised yourself quietly, hugging him tighter to you. You wouldn’t be making the same mistakes your parents did, the two of you were the real deal. The love that people say only happens in movies.

“Tendō?”

“Mm?”

“Promise me something.”

“Anything, dearest,” Tendō glanced down at you, noting the determined look in your eye.

“Promise me that you’ll always fight for me.”

Tendō raised an eyebrow, barely even stopping to think, “Of course. You didn’t really think you could worm your way away from me did you?” He teased with a grin, leaning down to kiss your cheek. “I’d do anything for you, Y/N. Don’t you worry, I promise you I won’t leave. Ever.”

And you believed him wholeheartedly. Because he had just seen you ugly cry for what felt like forever, and this man was still looking at you like you were the most beautiful creature in the world.

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[randalourita]

Song-Fic: Dive

By Ed Sheeran.

She had been through so much. So much. She knew once everything ended that she would never be the same, she would never be the person she had been. She changed. That changed her. But change isn’t always bad, change made her stronger. It made her wiser, smarter.

That of course was until she met him. She had built her own wall, for only him to come and break it down. He was something else, different. She had never met someone quite like him. He made her feel full, and that was something she hadn’t felt in a long while.

Some people thought it was too soon for her to date again, they said she would just end up hurt and thats the thing, with her, you never knew. She was known for giving her all into relationships, to only end up laying awake ever day, alone, with tears in her eyes and a memorable hangover.

But with him? She just couldn’t help it. She tried, boy did she try, but there was something that kept bringing her back to him, call it love, call it lust, but she didnt want to stop feeling it.

She made mistakes in the past, some big ones, and she had heard things about him, not all of them nice, but if this was a mistake? It was one she was willing to commit.

—————

They had been dating a couple of weeks, going out for dinner, playing some songs together and just hanging with each other, spending their time off the road together.

She was crazy about him but at the same time she feared. She feared that she was taking things too fast, she feared to get broken again, she feared that it was too good to be true, and perhaps it was.

That morning she woke up early, at least earlier than he did. She cooked him breakfast and set the table before waking him up with a kiss good morning. She figured they would just hang out there at his house and watch some movies, at least thats what they had planned, but life was not that simple, at least not hers.

They were interrupted by a knocking on the door, making him stand up from their cuddling position on the couch. 

“There you are!! Ive missed you so much!” Miranda heard a female’s voice coming from the main door. She immediately turned around, wanting to see what all of this was about.

“Heather, hey” He awkwardly hugged her back, trying to see Miranda on his couch. “What are you doing here?” He continued, talking a bit softer, hoping Miranda hadn't noticed a thing. “Well i missed you, a lot. Its been a long time, like 2 weeks?” She wondered. 

Miranda frowned. Who was this girl? What was she talking about? Two weeks ago they were together, as a couple.

“Can we go talk in the hallway for a minute?” Miranda saw him point outside his apartment, out of her ear-reach. She sighted. Of course this was too good to be true.

She grabbed her stuff and made her way out the door, finding the two of them talking in the hallway, him touching her arm. Miranda faked a laugh and stared at him. “Im gonna get going. Clearly, you are kinda busy.” She shook her head once again and walked down the hallway, before letting him say a thing.

“Hey hey hey, Miranda” She was stopped, he grabbed her shoulder and turned her around, not letting her walk. “Where are you going, why are you leaving?” He wondered, they had plans for the evening.

“Are you fucking kidding me dude? You've got a girl standing in you apartment hugging you right in front me. The stupidest part? I thought you actually liked me, i thought you were different, not like all of them. You made me let my guard down and stupid me did, you made me believe that you were actually good for me, that i had finally found someone i deserve, but this time, you are the one who doesn't deserve me.” She was sad, angry, disappointed but most of all? She was hurt, and that was worse than any other feeling.

“Babe you dont und-” “Do not call me that, you dont have the right to anymore, dont even call me at all. We are done, I'm done, i cant actually believe i took the risk, for only to get hurt again.” She interrupted his explanation, not wanting to hear it. “I think someone's waiting for you inside, have fun.” She stared at him with the look only she could give. “Are you gonna let me talk now?” He got serious, not believing how could she think so poorly of him.

“Mira- baby.” He challenged her. “That woman up there, its not an ex, a hook up or nothing like that, at all. Thats Heather, i talked to you about her before, my step-sister? I took her out into the hallway because i wanted her to know who you were before she met you.” He stared into her deep blue eyes, noticing the blank expression on her face. 

She slowly covered her face with her hands and sat down against the hallway wall, not uncovering her face. he sat right next to her and gave her a couple of minutes.

“Can we talk now? I think there are some things we should clear up?” She softly nodded. Still not believing what had just happened.

“Miranda you need to understand somethings” He seriously looked at her. “I like you, i like you a lot, and i asked you out because of that, but you gotta understand, its only you and i, no one else and you gotta believe me on this. I would never hurt you, ever. I care too much about you. And i know you haven't had the best experience at this, and that you dont wanna get hurt again, but i promise you that I'm here only for you, to take care of you, to spoil you, to show you how much you mean to me every single day, but it all starts with you trusting me. I need you in my life, i want you here with me and i know we can be great. But it all starts with trust.” He wiped the small tears falling down her face.

“You mean that? You really do mean that?” She whispered softly. “Because if you dont mean every single word you just told me, please just take it back. Take it all back, my heart cant go through this again. So dont, dont tell me you need me, dont tell me you want me, dont call me baby because thats what you think i wanna hear. Tell me that because you 100% believe it. Because I'm falling in love with you Anderson East, and when i fall, i fall hard, and i dont know how much i can take. So let me know the truth, tell me if you meant every single word you just told me, before i dive right into you.” 

He didnt say a word. He stared into those deep blue eyes and slowly leaned in, holding her hand. He gave her a soft kiss on her lips.

“Go deep, baby.”

[boeyiaqsz-blog]

“never”.....

i’ve been writing since IT happened but i only shared it to a few friends. till one day one of them asked me to post it? but lol my plan was to write a legit book.. what a dreamer. anyways, it has almost been a year! yikes how time flies. the person who said things like “i’ll always love you” “its only you” “i promise i”ll never leave you” “you’re the only one” ha ha ha ha HA HA HA ha ha ha BULLFUCKINGSHIT. it’s so disgusting thinking about it. 3 fucking years of pure bullshit. ogai, let’s be real it wasn’t bullshit. i’ve never loved someone soo much. i loved him toooooo much till i forgot about myself. i would say i was genuinely happy in the relationship, only because i made him my happiness, like 101% him. and when he left.. we’ll get back to that later. lol. bla bla bla so here’s……. 17 reasons why i think/know why we broke up;

 i’m clingy as fuck. i’m sorry that i loved you so much but hey? isn’t that why we were together? 

i’m super super insecure about everything. everything. literally everything. no matter how many times you tell me i’m beautiful or whatsoever, i’d still feel insecure.

trust issues. i trust you but at the same time i have someone in my mind telling me not to. also i don’t trust the people around you. but my heart 100% trusts you.

i’m a sensitive bitch. i get upset over the smallest thing ever! legit small. like tinier than an ant. eg: u paying more attention to your pet than me. ((jokes but u get it right))

if you reply me 1-9 hours later i would definitely merajuk and EXPECT you to pujuk me cause hello, ya got me thinkin’ what the fuck i said or did?

i may not be the best girlfriend, but i’d always try and try. failed.

i love love love love to merajuk, just to get ur attention.

i’d obvi get upset if u talk to ur ex/girl you used to like/a girl who likes you and ya. i can see how a girl talks to you, and i’d know she’s interested. yellow i’m a girl, i’d know. its a nom thing so fuck you. jk. AND HA I WAS FUCKING RIGHT. 

lies. i lied once to protect his feelings.. but well that fucked it all up. back to 3) trust issues.

i can be a bitch sometimes(most of the time).. like a cold heartless bitch.

not showing my happiness, i don’t know how to show it. but, believe me when i say i’m happy. cause i really am, the minute u tell me im not thats when i merajuk. back no 7) merajuk.

almost loving you more than myself. always put yourself first second third then only your significant other. 

controlling. i didn’t realise that i was controlling. i just loved him so much.. i’m just scared of losing him. 

i’ll never be good enough. never.

he also said i wasted his time. didn’t hurt at all. mhm not even a bit……… sz OGAI. back to 9) lies. who would be okay? wtf. 

ego.

i’m s______ z___, that’s why. 

we broke up after our 15th month officially together and from there i knew it was really the end. like shit my better half, my happiness is.. is GONE. it was soo hard for me. like Goodness me.. yeeer thinking about it makes me want to puke. i changed to a person i said i’d never be. like 3fucking60. the things i said i’d never do, i’m attached to it now and lol you can basically say i’m fucked up. i basically put my health at risk. i’m slowly trying to get back on track but lol. the amount of times i actually wanted to “go”.. yikes too much. i basically wanted my home to be 6 feet under. 10 months i was in the deepest hole or i was so KOYAK. the first few months, Gosh it was hell because we still kept in touch and he was a fucking prick. excuse 101 with a badak: “i did it because i wanted you to move on” lolololol bye fuckerlicia. and idk why the fuck i was still backing him up when he was such a dick to me????? love is blind, katanya. we didn’t talk for a few months till my birthday came up and i was surprised when he called me and lol yeah? we started talking/facetiming again like every. single. day. a girl who hasn’t moved on obviously had her hopes up, amirite? ok bla bla bla next thing i know.. it was official. they’re official. so i was like yeet gotta blast. don’t wanna ruin relationships cause thats not my cup of tea. a funny/stupid story happened but lol i’m not gonna talk about it cause yeeet HAHA bye. and idk how we started talking again? and this badak asshole calls me on facetime telling me shits like UGH i’d say it but its alright. and i’m just like?.. are you still with that girl? or.. nah? i’m so confused? but then again like what some friends said, he just doesn’t want you to move on. in that period of time. that’s what they said because they have been in the same exact situation. and basically after that…… we legit stopped talking till this very day. God bless my soul i found my own happiness and finally i see my worth. 10 months i demotivated myself, i downgraded myself, i fucked myself up for a useless guy i thought that was worth the world. i was so fucking stupid. Alhamdulillah got some sense too. the person i thought that would be here with me through everything and promised he’d always stay no matter what. aih i was so stupid. i’m so much happier now? not because of a guy but because of myself. well i cant credit myself lol my friends helped me way too much. i am where i am because of koyak, remp586, kosek and to those who follow my private account. i doubted God when he left cause i thought it was the end of the world/my world. so stupid. it was only the beginning sz! believe me, it gets better. time does heal. believe in it and yourself.

kalau ada silapan dengan tulisan saya, jangan kecam sis. 

b.sz