#im gonna see if i can finish the outline but i fear the illness is making it hard lol

[yinyuedijun]

hi dash im in miami as sick as a dog 😎😎😎 I will NOT be living it up in the club tn so I fear you're all stuck with me

[sukirichi]

— 💌 ; a love letter from @kyriaan

long post below regarding broken records. cw includes adultery, physical assault, toxic relationships, broken records spoilers, and mature content

[ from the ask ] BROKEN RECORDS ; track 005

Okay! I finally had time to actually sit down and properly read chap 5 cause ill be damned and burned if i dont pay special attention to one of my favorite series here! Rather drown or be sting by bees slowly 😒

🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙃 I for the first time don't even know where to start so allow me to be all over the place cause my emotions are also all over the place with this chapter ✌️

Ill start by y/n's dad caN GO FUCK HIMSELF? Like okay sir you might have fallen in love with our mom (ill give him the benefit of the doubt regarding his feelings) BUT SIR YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN HONEST? FROM THE BEGINNING? ALSO BRUH YOU KIDDING ME??? SIR YOU LEGIT ABANDONED YOUR OTHER DAUGHTER AND THEN YOU PROCESS TO 'LEAVE US' I- YOOOOO I WOULD BITCH SLAP HIM I SWEAR!!

Also ALSO ILL SCREAM FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK NO KID HAS EVER TO BE BLAMED FOR BEING BORN!! Y/n mom's line: 'we have to atone for our sins' its legit BULLSHIT it wad NOT y/n fault her DAD COULDNT KEEP HIS DICK INSIDE HIS PANTS NOR ITS Y/N FAULT THAT HER DAD CHEATED!!! ATONE FOR OUR SINS MY ASS!! the father is the one that has to take responsibility for all this shitty situation we do NOT nor any kid out there in this situation has to be taken accountable by this!!

And now Suna 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 bruh im just gonna cry... Everything he does just makes me heart swell i feel so cozy when i read his parts like how sweet and present he is I- bruh I never had that... Actually seeing y/n breaking up with him when shes clearly falling in love with him just breaks me cause Girl for real Suna would be there for you... I get it shes afraid and shes acting on that fear but girl... Pls he truly loves you deeply not everyone is like your dad. There are happy endings. There are good people Sunas one of them pls 🥺🥺🥺 also MY LOVE TSUMU BEING A SUPPORTIVE FRIEND EVEN THO SUNA GOT THE GIRL BRUH TSUMU I FUCKING LOVE YOU MY CHILDISH YET ADORABLY SMUG BOY 😭😭😭😭😭

Nagisas a bitch btw ✌️ so far i see no redemption not excuse in what she did so far. I get her reasons but that does NOT excuse her behavior. She has to lash out at her cunt of a dad not at a innocent woman who was also a victim all along. Nor even her half sister. I get her mentality behind this but doesnt excuse her behavior at all- its basically the same as being a victim from a bully and playing bully after aswell.

Overall YOU MADE ME CRY AGAIN SUKI! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS BUT ALSO UGH MY HEART SUKI!

[ from suki ] 

BROKEN RECORDS IS UR FAVE SERIES??? babe pls you’re gonna me cry !! nah nah fr his dishonesty caused all this mess. YEAHA SAKLAA tbh I love mama lucy but her words of ‘atoning for their sins’ or her mindset of ‘we don’t deserve to be happy when we’ve hurt others’ really messed up YN. she was only 21 and vulnerable with all the shambles happening in her family + the sudden assault from nagisa, that when her mother said those words, she struggled to let go of it. to her, it became like a final verdict that dictated how she lived her life.

SUNA URGHHH PLEASE GIVE SUNA A CHANCE HE HAS PURE AND GOOD INTENTIONS BUT I CANT BLAME HER EITHER AHSJAKA. and the comparison of nagisa being a bully’s victim only to become the next bully is true. nagisa should lash out at their shitty excuse of a father. ALSO AAAAHH THE NEXT CHAPTER (007) IS WORSE AHSJKAAL

[ from the ask ] BROKEN RECORDS ; track 005

I know shins attractive I mean mans perfect?? Does he even have any flaw?? And the way he cried when he got his jersey MYGOD FHDHFHFJSKS but I still look at him and im like.... Hmmmm nah i wouldnt date him its just not my... Do i dare say type? Cause i dont think i have a type ghfhfisofbd but like I just 🧍‍♀️

I love him i just dont love him i guess

The makeout scene tho ill give you that 🥵🥵🥵 made me bark (i would still walk out next day like was a good fuck kita byeeee🚉🏃‍♀️💨)

... More drama regarding mari... And you said this will have like 10 chapters... And from 8 on will be angsty.... 🙂 *traumatized noises*

[ from suki ] 

YUUHHH KITA IS PERFECT HERE AHSJKAA IDK MAYBE ITS MY SIMPING FOR NAOYA CONVERTED TO KITA ALREADY BEING PERFECT AS HE ALREADY IS AND I AMPED IT UP BCOS THE SIMP MODE IS ACTIVATED AHSKAA. the make out scene !! pls sir i’m on my knees spare some love in ur heart AAAAAAHHHHHH. also. i assure you. businessman! kita got game. he’s gonna make you walk funny if you give him the chance HSJKA

yeah i just finished writing the outline for track7 right now and the drama is HSJKAA it gave me a headache sobs 

[ from the ask ] BROKEN RECORDS ; track 006

I want to give you my usual thoughts on the new chapter and at the same ahm...

I just saw myself on Suna... Deeply....and it kinda slapped me harder than i was expecting...there were too many things from him giving himself to mari/treating her like he wants to be treated... To deleting his best friend from social media thanks to his girlfriend... And it really hurt me ahah..

I would vent but.. Yeah

But yes this chapter i saw myself in suna and i had to take quite the long breaks cause it was getting to me 😅😅😅 also if anything i learned from my experiences is that MARI SCREAMS RED FLAGS and even Osamu can see that pls

I would honestly end Mari there, i wouldnt even bother to just retort i would walk my way into to the damn apartment and fucking take Suna for myself cause Mari does not deserve him. Shes manipulative, and in a way abusive.. Not allowing him to keep contact with his best friend his a total redflag and o know its because Suna had feelings for y/n and vice versa but Suna never gave het a reason to distrust him.

The moment he said he was best friends with y/n and was single she immediately clinged himself to him and for what? To then dump him like he was trash...

He gave himself to her, he proved he was there for her he even took her back this boy deserves the fucking world and its not Mari...

I kinda want to say it's not y/n at this point either cause the way she broke his heart was kinda the same Mari did.. Y/n disregarded his feelings and just broke it up.. Mari disregarded his feelings abd broke it up... But y/n stated from the very beginning that she would eventually break up Mari just shrugged and didn't care so i can in a way forgive y/n i cant forgive mari

Besides y/n was supportive from the beginning while Mari was obsessive and controlling.

Another really insanely well written chapter as usual (albeit this one making me ball my eyes off harder because yeah) but yes~ eagerly waiting for the next one~

Take your time tho 😌🙌

Mari can go fuck off 💗💓💞💕❣️❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🤎🖤🤍💯💝💖💋💅

Suna x y/n pls

Y/n deserves to have a healthy love life with someone she loves (hence why npt Kita) and loves her back

And Suna deserve the fucking world and be treated right

[ from suki ] 

NAHHHH cuz when you said suna was treating mari the way he wanted YN to treat her... that’s right. on point. they’re all so complicated sobs. MARI IS A WALKING RED FLAG THAT OSAMU CAN SMELL FROM A MILE AWAY. ALSO yes mari is manipulative and borderline possessive when it came to suna. like yeah, let’s be real, she could tell a long time ago that suna was in love with YN and it made her insecure / jealous, but the whole time, YN kept her distance. she was supportive over their relationship from afar as to make mari comfortable. suna also did everything he could to make sure she was well cared for. for three years, he was focused on her and only her. he gave love a second chance despite being brokenhearted. suna never mari a chance to doubt because he, too, was sure he could be happy with her.

until mari left him.

and now suna is back with YN because they will always have each other. but honestly,,,if we think about it, if mari never broke up with suna or at least gave him the chance to explain himself - if mari didn’t do the exact thing YN did to suna years ago - he honestly would’ve been really happy with mari. they were going well. like yeah mari has always been toxic by pushing suna’s boundaries and asking him to unfollow his own best friend on social media, but he did it anyway. because he trusted their relationship. he wanted the best for them. 

also yeah, the parallels between mari and YN were intentional !! 

HEHEHEHE THE KITA X YN SHIP everyone loves them im so happy about that bcos kita is so amazing in my eyes. PREACH FOR THAT THO !! SUNA DESERVES THE BEST. SUNA DESERVES TO BE TREATED RIGHT. HE DESERVES THE WORLD AND SO MUCH MORE

thank you for taking the time to send me this, kya, it means a lot to me and it motivates me to work harder on the future chapters !! <33

[mrs-nate-humphrey]

author self interview

some of my best friends were doing this thing & said they’d like to see me do the thing, so i am here, doing the thing on the only really active fandom sideblog i have!

fandoms: uh, i think the most notable ones have been harry potter, it (yes, the clown movies), good omens, hsm, and... gossip girl. voila. the first fanfic i ever wrote was an artemis fowl fanfic though. i was like, 12. fandoms i am GOING to get into (hopefully) include the witcher, which im watching for the first time right now, and skulduggery pleasant, which has been recced to me over the years too many times for me to NOT read it.

most popular multi-chapter fic: my hsm fic “boyfriendly” for SURE. i always feel sorry about the people who read that one and go “oh got to check out the rest of this dude’s works” and get hit in the face by my triple digit gg fic count, while the number of hsm fics i have up is... 9. whoops.

favorite story you’ve written so far: listen, all my stories are my babies.... but that said...  the lights that stop me (turn to stone), i think? - more commonly referred to by me as “the blennyfic”. i didn’t even ship blair/jenny at the time, but writing this fic changed that for me. i wanted to write an authentic, honest, SORTED post-canon jenny humphrey, and this story just... ended up going in a certain direction organically, and i just followed it, so that’s something special about it. it was also, at the time of writing, one of the longest commitments i had made in the sense of like - i hadn’t worked as hard or consistently at a single piece of writing in years.  so the fact that i still could.... idk. it’ll always be special to me. 

fic you were nervous to post: hmmm. hard to answer this, i think i’m going to go with it’s not the end (it’s an uncomfortable pause) mostly because i’d spoken about this fic with so many people and shared snippets and blogged about it and there was this quiet thing inside me of like, “what if it does not live up to the hype!” but everyone left really sweet comments on there, and it was validating and set that fear to rest. my partner also read over the whole thing once and said it worked well, and my partner is like. the ONE person who gives me the most blatantly honest, sometimes even harsh, concrit on my writing, so that was validating, too. 

how do you choose your titles: depends on the fic! sometimes, like with “you set my soul alight” it just.. falls into place - in that case, the title is a reference to the song the fic occurs around. sometimes it’s just lyrics or siken quotes. sometimes, like with “as vanilla as a dominatrix” it’s just me offering commentary on what the fic will contain, wink wonk. 

do you outline: for longfic, yes! i ALWAYS forget the details. which isn’t a big deal if i am writing a simple oneshot that i can finish within a week, but the moment something gets bigger and becomes a long term project, i try to outline. let it be known i don’t always succeed. but i DO try.

complete:  not sure what this is asking tbh. 

do you accept prompts: i did for a bit and then the executive dysfuntion hit and i now i am scared to go back, haha. RIP, me. 

upcoming story you’re most excited to write about: already planned the next installment of the nonbinary dan series. also a s4 au that REALLY looks at nate’s parents’ divorce (& involves danhugs for sure.) also the serenessate fic that i am 75% done with but haven’t finished writing yet (whoops.) i am also HOPING to get started writing a blairnessa au.... let’s see how that goes.

stories you’re most excited to read:  whenever part 2 of @mezzoklutz‘s fic “if the choice were mine to make” drops... i will also drop...  catch me fainting like a victorian maiden in an ill-fitting corset. it’s going to be so good!

no pressure tags: anyone & everyone who follows me who is a writer. it doesn’t matter if you’re not in this fandom, even. i was gonna tag people but then got worried about the people i would potentially forget or miss out. so! if you see this and you write, your turn! 

[riceccakes]

Earth, Wind, and Coffee: Chapter Two Analysis

chapter one analysis

welcome back to another installment !! idk if many people are reading this, but i enjoy analyzing my writing so i’m gonna keep doing it :) let’s get started, shall we?

some fun stuff before we start!

the first scene i wrote for this story was the dock scene

usually, when i write, i kind of just start with whatever is the first thing that comes to mind. i’d had the bulk of the story outline in my head, not written yet, but i knew i wanted this reveal about the red lotus attack. so i started with it and wrote as far as i could before deciding i should start the beginning of the fic. most of the original content is there, with some stuff added on, but i took a turn from my dialogue as it didn’t fit the narrative of the story anymore (well get to this point in a later chapter analysis, don’t worry)

not me being heavily inspired by LOVE WITCH by bisexualyoda

around the time that i started this fic and was really writing for it, i found this story on ao3 and literally read whatever chapters were out at that time in a day. it was a story that also influenced me to write in asami’s pov, as a majority of the story is from hers. (this isn’t the only reason tho, but bisexualyoda is a writing god and what else could i do but try to honor them?) it’s a stellar korrasami fic that you should read if you haven’t yet and if you haven’t yet, what are you doing, please go enjoy that masterpiece

and into the chapter we shall go:

i kinda thought it was cool to play off this idea of a barista who can’t sleep but it’s not because of the coffee like you’d expect. 

now, being a diehard korrasami fan, i knew i wanted to apply this to my girls. and, i knew from the get-go i wanted korrasami to meet as if it were more book four, where korra has gone through something really terrible and asami is a really good friend who’s there for her. so i thought it might be cool to put the two together and korra is a barista who can’t sleep. then it was getting to what exactly the trauma was that korra experienced. i didn’t want anything as severe as what korra went through in the series (our poor girl was wrongfully put through the wringer for four seasons) but i wanted something that would stick with her and still haunt her, even after a period of time. my favorite book is book three and i loved the red lotus antagonists, so i played around with their concept and turned it into what’s in the story. i was really pleased when i came up with this and only made some minor changes (i had originally explicitly given korra insomnia. i decided to change this and keep it more ambiguous because i didn’t want to inaccurately describe insomnia and somehow offend anyone who does experience it, i hate doing that) and then i was set to really start the fic.

more about povs:

so, when i first started writing this fic, the idea of multiple povs was an option. in the end, i chose only asami, for a number of reasons, but mostly for one in particular

just like asami, i wanted you guys to gradually learn about korra’s situation. sure, i could’ve went through korra’s pov and been all secret secret about it, but something about that idea doesn’t sit well with me. i liked the idea of gradual connection and in turn concern. i sprinkled some little stuff here and there, to hint that something’s up, but i feel like that’s the hook for you lil fishies to grasp onto. even in that very dock scene, i don’t give it to you right away; i dance around it, just like korra does by talking about tenzin and the temple and i mention the water and korra’s jacket and anything but the reason why korra’s called asami at 2 in the morning to come see her. this kind of tension, this kind of urgency to know what’s going on, i just don’t think would’ve been achieved had i had alternating povs.

something i really love about this chapter is how the first section and third section ends

Makeshift Boardrooms ends with korra being a complete angel and going above and beyond for asami and this presentation:

Asami is speechless. Inside, the tables and chairs have been set up as if it’s a long boardroom, fit with the donuts in the center of the table no one can ever reach. At the far end, a projector screen is set up and a loading screen is displayed on it. Asami stares at the girl, unsure of how to convey how appreciative she is for the gesture.

“Korra…”

“I know,” she quickly speaks up, her fingers behind her back fidgeting even faster, “it’s a lot, but I thought you should get the best kind of practice! And, we hosted a movie night here a while back, I wasn’t sure if Tenzin left all the equipment here but I found it all in one of the cabinets in his office and I,” she’s looking at the ground now, “is it all right?”

“All right?” Asami questions, truly confused as to how Korra could say such a thing. She reaches out, slowly, gently, placing her hand on Korra. The girl’s hands fall to her sides, Asami’s fingertips slowly linger down from the bundled fabric of Korra’s rolled up sleeve to her forearm.

now, A Turn of Events ends like how we know:

Asami falls back onto the couch, ill prepared for the unexpected burst. Korra continues huffing, gasping for air, clutching at her chest and running a hand through her hair. Asami reaches out again and that’s when Korra flinches again. She starts to sob.

“Korra…”

“Get out!”

Asami sits, staring. She isn’t sure if she heard right or not. Korra begins shaking, sobbing inconsolably. Asami just wants to reach out.

“Get. Out!”

Asami grabs her things and rushes towards the door, taking one final glance behind her shoulder. Korra’s hands cover her face, her body flinches and shakes, her sobs ring loudly in Asami’s ears. 

In between each desperate gasp for air, she can hear Korra whisper, “Please, please, stop, stop, please, stop, please.”

Asami feels her heart sink and she opens the door to leave.

i’ve bolded what i love most. it was actually unintentional, i’d only noticed after i finished the chapter and was reading through to edit, but it’s kind of beautiful, bittersweet even. there are parallels here, some less noticeable than others, but parallels nonetheless. the lingering of korra’s name is direct and the events after are strikingly different but in a way connected. in Makeshift Boardrooms, after the mention of her name, korra is sputtering word after word. in A Turn of Events, after the mention of her name, korra only says two words. it’s two sides of the same coin, showing how korra is unfortunately spiraling out and losing control of what’s going on with her. typing it out is kind of hurting me, seeing how korra’s in pain, but im the author and i know what happens later so i shouldn’t worry too much.

now getting onto asami in this section, still, the lingering of korra’s name is the most noticeable parallel. but, in Makeshift Boardroom, after korra responds, asami reassures the girl with physical touch, she’s able to reach out to her. in A Turn of Events, after korra responds, asami doesn’t react, she doesn’t know how to. korra’s in front of her, clearly in pain, and she just yelled at asami, and still asami just wants to reach out to her. once again, unintentional that this happened, but sometimes it’s the unexpected things that turn out for the best. the diction i have here, in repeating the word reach, i think it just further drives home how heartbreaking this chapter’s turned out to be. (shout out to the section title, cause things really did take a turn here) it had all seemed so good, korra was opening up to asami, they were getting closer, and then all of a sudden BAM korra has a panic attack and in a moment of utter fear, she pushes away asami. i know i put angst in the ao3 tags, but now going over it as the author, i see my angst has really gone above and beyond, but hey, i really liked how this chapter turned out

honorable mentions:

in LOVE WITCH, asami and kuvira are basically besties and i loved the idea of their friendship and i wanted to have a go at it myself! finding kuvira’s place in the story, however, was a lil tough to navigate, but when i came up with the bodyguard idea, i really liked it. i hope you guys do too :))

idk if you guys noticed but outside formal fic/writing settings, i pretty much only type in lowercase. however, i do type in complete sentences and the only abbreviation i really use is idk so don’t mind me lowkey projecting onto korra here. anyways, i know most phones have the default setting for texts to be first word already uppercase. i have mine turned off but figured korra would have hers on cause 1) she prefers it this way and 2) even if she wanted to turn it off, she doesn’t know how to. plus, i liked the idea of her enjoying emoticons better than emojis. i love emojis but i always do a lil sideways smiley ( :) ) and to me it’s super cute and i’m sure korra would see it the same way

the end of this chapter is not what i had first intended! truth be told, i didn’t know what exactly was going to happen at the end of the chapter, but i knew what would happen after it, i just needed a bridge. in my og timeline, i had a couple different options: the one i almost went through with was asami suggesting they move into together (which is admittedly super soon and super fast so like, it would scare off korra), another was something intimate that would still scare korra off (this one wasn’t too elaborated on, perhaps a forehead touch, or super close faces, idk. obviously this doesn’t happen, but it had been in consideration), i’d actually even considered something physical, but that was quickly cut off the list, as that is NOT how i wanted this story to go. anyways, because of how this chapter ended, the whole rest of the story changed and i couldn’t be happier.

anything i would’ve wanted to change?

im still super self conscious about the length but at the same time, also not, idk how to describe it. anyways, i think what i actually would’ve liked is keeping something from the Home Life section i took out. when i first wrote it, asami actually had a desk mate and he was flamboyant and sassy and i loved him. looking back now, i would’ve loved to have kept him and the scene with him, but i took it out cause i was scared the chapter was too long. after reading everyone’s comments though, about how they don’t care how long chapters are/longer chapters are better, i gave myself some more slack with the last chapters. his name was ryuichi, rip ryuichi

surprise epilogue is out now too, so enjoy the rest of the fic! if you have any questions, feel free to ask :)))

[shannonwhumps]

for the whump dialogue thing: either 4, 19, or 20! it’s up to you.

I’m gonna try and add them all together!!!!4: “I’m going to break your hand now. Please do try and keep the noise down.”19:  “The pain meds aren’t working! Don’t you hear him?” 20: “Bud, you can’t rest yet. Keep your eyes open.”

Peter doesn’t know how long it’s been. All he know is that he doesn’t remember a life before pain. He remembers breaking his collarbone, 2 ribs, and femur all on one night of patrolling and compared to this, that felt like nothing. 

This man, holding him in this dark basement for only God knows why, has hurt him in so many different ways, Peter can’t even start to compile a list of injuries. So much hurts that nothing truly hurts anymore. It hurts so much, it’s numb in the worst way. 

He doesn’t even know if he’s screaming anymore. His throat is too torn up to handle even a whisper. He must scream though because the man picks up his hand in his and holds it gently. His voice isn’t as gentle as his touch, but he’s not exactly soft-spoken either. “I’m going to break your hand now. Please do try to keep the noise down. Your constant screaming gives me such a headache.”

Peter would let out a sob at the warning earlier in his captivity, but now, a broken hand is nothing. It’ll probably just tickle--. 

“Break his hand and I’ll break your fucking neck.” 

That voice...that voice is familiar. It makes Peter feel safer than he has in weeks. It’s been a while since he’s heard it. It’s been a while since he believed he’d hear it again. 

The man holding him goes still and Peter can see the fear in his eyes as they widen. He turns his head over his shoulder and then Peter can see him. The light shining from behind him outlines him like an angel. His guardian angel. 

“Stark--?” He doesn’t even finish his sentence before Tony is punching him across the face and he drops to the floor. Even though he doesn’t get up and Peter knows he’s unconscious, it doesn’t make him feel any more relieved. Feeling relieved is just an easy way to let his guard down and let more pain in. 

So, even though he was safe and out of danger, he didn’t move. He was never truly safe. Not down here. Not with this man. 

Tony barely spares that man on the ground another look as he took a step closer. He reaches a hand out but didn’t stopped just before it came near him as Peter felt his body flinch. Or at least he thinks it flinched. He isn’t sure what his body does anymore. He tries to distance himself from it. It’s easier to deal with the pain that way. 

“Pete, it’s me. It’s Tony...” His voice is quiet and not how Peter remembers it. “I’m gonna take you home now.” 

Peter lets out a gruntled whine involuntarily. He can’t leave. That’s against the rules and he knows the consequences of not listening. He doesn’t want that lesson repeated. So he stares ahead and blinks. 

Tony looks more worried and his eyes are watery. Peter wants to fall into his arms like he’s imagined in every rescue scenario, but now he’s terrified. “Buddy,” he tries again, his voice cracking, “it’s me. You’re okay. You’re safe.” 

Peter lets out a whimper he wishes he could have held back because he only seems even more pathetic. His eyes flicker down to the man unconscious on the floor. 

Tony follows his gaze and just like always, he knows exactly what to say when Peter says nothing at all. He turns around to someone behind him (Peter can’t bring himself to focus on who it is) and snaps, “Get this prick out of here and away from the kid. Now!”

Two men come running in and drag the limp body away. Peter waits for the body to disappear and a moment longer to make sure he’s not coming back. He looks around the room, waiting for someone to jump out and prove this is all a trick. Tony really isn’t here. He’s dreaming. It’s a dream. But nothing happens. Tony stays there, looking realer than he ever has and Peter stares. Tony is patient and doesn’t rush him. 

Peter fidgets once and lets out another whine, but it’s all his body can do. He hasn’t spoken in...well, Peter’s lost count. He lifts his handcuffed hands towards Tony slowly and still, Tony doesn’t move. He’s waiting. Peter can’t do much with the restraints so he wiggles his fingers beseechingly and then Tony asks, “Can I hold you?” 

Peter nods his head, desperately. Tony leans forward and wraps his arms around Peter. He doesn’t care that Peter is filthy with dirt and blood; the man only showered him down with cold water every few days. He pulls Peter in so close to his chest Peter feels like he can’t breathe. But, it’s not like the ‘can’t breathe’ when the man held his head under water. It’s the ‘can’t breathe’ he’s forgot how good it felt just to be...hugged. Just to be touched in a way that caused him no pain. 

He fell into his arms and melted into the embrace. Tony holding him so securely, his heart beating against Peter’s ear, the soft words Tony is mumbling to him, the way Tony’s hand finds its way into his curls...it breaks him. It breaks the shell he’s built up and he lets it all go at once. He feels the pain-- he feels every last bit of it and he sobs. 

Tony pulls him in closer and his own voice sounds close to breaking. “I’ve got you, Petey. It’s going to be okay.” 

Peter knows this. Now that Tony is here, he knows it’s going to be okay. He’s nowhere safer than in Tony’s arms. So he relaxes in his hold and lets his eyes flutter shut after countless sleepless nights. 

Tony doesn’t like that idea. “Bud, you can’t rest yet. Keep your eyes open.”

Peter grunts but doesn’t open his eyes. He just wants to sleep. 

Tony pulls back and Peter whines at the loss of contact. “You cannot sleep. You need to get checked out.” He looks Peter over and he can only imagine what he looks like...chained up in his boxers, covered in bruises, blood, and welts. It’s pathetic. He’s pathetic. He can’t stop the next sob that leaves him. Tony cups his face and Peter leans into the touch. He lets his eyes shut for good this time despite Tony’s voice in his ear telling him to stay awake. 

He needs the sleep and he’s safe. So he does. 

--

He wakes up to a burning pain in his leg. Everything hurts. It’s all on fire and it’s too much for him to deal with. But there’s an even worse pressure on his leg. He’s not sure what he did-- he fell asleep. He isn’t supposed to sleep. That’s why the man is punishing him. 

Peter tries to hold back the cries. He’s not allowed to make a sound. He bites so hard on his lip, he tastes the blood. He’s been bleeding so much, he’s surprised there’s any left. But there is. And the blood he draws from his fills his mouth with a metallic taste. 

He can handle the pain on his leg until the same feeling starts in the other one. Is the man breaking his legs again? But he didn’t try to escape! He stayed still-- he didn’t move! 

Something snaps in his leg and he he can’t hold back the scream that rips through his throat. He thrashes before he can remember that he’s not supposed to move when he’s being hurt. He’s supposed to sit through the lesson and take it without complaint. But when one scream comes out, he can’t stop the rest. He only stops when he needs to take in a deep breath. 

“The pain meds aren’t working!” He hears a voice shout, sounding angry and scared. “Don’t you hear him?”

“There’s nothing-- we need to reset these bones, Stark! We already knew the meds might not work. It’s chance we had to take.” 

Peter cries out, wishing he can beg for them to stop, but that would require talking. He isn’t allowed to do that. So, he cries. 

“He’s in pain. Dammit, stop!” The voice is closer. 

“I told you you’d need to leave if you got too upset,” the woman warned. “I’ll ask you to leave if you don’t stop.” 

There’s another hand on him again. This time holding holding his hand, much more gentle than the other hands breaking his body. It reminds him of they way Tony held him in that dream. It had to be a dream because if he were back home and safe, why would Tony let them continue to hurt him? He wouldn’t. 

He hears his voice though. And maybe it’s in his head. Probably because there’s no other way he’d hear it over his screaming. But it brings a sliver of comfort to him. The voice is safe. The voice is home. “You’re okay, Pete. You’re okay. I’m right here and I will never leave. Not again.” 

[legion1993]

Dark Arts + Love = Passion

A/N: once again trying something new... this is gonna be my first AU i think but thats not as important as tagging @luci-in-trenchcoats for giving me this idea... hope you enjoy this story...

AU=Soulmate

Pairing: Constantine x Reader

Summary: Constantine is the one that saved you from a demon, he shared his world with you, he brought you to the bunker.. but when Zedd comes back from a demon possession stopping of her own, she reveals a vision concerning both you and John... this is how it happened, this is how your journey with the famed John Constantine started...

Masterlist

“My name is John Constantine. I am the one who steps on the shadows, all trench coat and arrogance. I'll drive your demons away, kick 'em in the bullocks, and spit on them when they're down, leaving only a nod and a wink and a wisecrack. I walk my path alone because, let's be honest... who would be crazy enough to walk it with me?”

NOW

Y/N (possessed): “John constantine its time i kill you and return your head to my master...”

John: “ya i dont think so, now why dont you pus-sac pig headed lowlife get out of this fine lady and leave now...”

Y/N (possessed): “you have no idea how to save me without saving her... you dont realize that she is watching everything im doing right now and she is screaming for your help but she doesnt realize that i have full control of her actions and her words...”

John: “i got news for you mate, the girl will be just fine...”

John lights his lighter and throws it at the ground and it forms a circle around you... 

Y/N (possessed): “ill make sure she doesnt survive this John...”

John wouldnt allow another innocent to get hurt because of him... he did an exorcism...

John: “Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii, omnis legio, omnis congregatio et secta diabolica, in nomine et virtute Domini Nostri Jesu!”

with a lot of screaming and a huge intake of breath the fire went out as the demon left your body, you hit the ground with a thud, well at least your body did, your head however was caught by john’s lap...

there is always a reasonable explaination for everything but waking up with your head in the lap of someone that you didnt know was the weirdest thing you ever experienced... 

John: “take it easy love... your still on an adrenaline high...”

Y/N: “where am i? what happened to me?”

John: “a demon took your body for a spin just so it could strike at me...”

Y/N: “a demon, what the hell are you talking about and who are you?”

John: “my name is John constantine, i specialize in the weird cases... this is gonna make this sound weird you and i are connected... its hard to explain but i need you to stay with me...”

Y/N: “ok but why am i covered in blood?”

John helped wrap you in his trenchcoat, you didnt reject his touch but you were shivering, John could feel it, you were emitting tremendous signs of power...

John: “come on let me take you somewhere safe where you can get cleaned up, and i can make you something to eat and explain whats happening...”

Y/N: “good something we can both agree on is food and a bath...”

John: “ay we can agree on those but i must warn you that what i have to say might not be what you want to hear...”

Y/N: “it can’t be the worst thing ive heard recently...”

John: “are you good to get up now?”

you nod as John helps you up, he holds onto you for a moment before hlping you get into the car...

As John drove you felt something, a spark between you and him... there was something there and you wanted to know what...

As John pulled up you vaguely co uld see the outlines of a house... a little cottage... but appearances on the outside isn't necessarily what it is on the inside...

your eyes were in wonder as John helped you out of the car, and you then walked with John into the house...

John: "don't touch anything these are all cursed objects, magical objects! you will learn more as time goes on..."

Y/N: "John what was that spark that I felt when I touched your skin... earlier lifting me off the ground made my skin tingle then just a few moments ago when you helped me out of the car.. what is happening?"

John looks around as if hoping someone was there...

John: "I don't know if now is the best time to discuss this... right now we need to get your powers under control..."

you backed up a bit from him as he finished speaking...

Y/N: “wait wait wait hold on a moment i have powers... what do you mean i have powers... im normal, i dont have powers...”

John: “thats where you are wrong love... you see everyone in one way or another have some sort of gifts... mystical or not, you however like me have gifts of the mystical kind...”

Y/N: “how do you know that?”

Zedd: “cause i told him...”

she comes downstairs and into the light... you back up and you look at John who is rolling his eyes....

Zedd: “oh no me and John arent together that is your job...”

Y/N: “what the hell are you talking about?”

Zedd: “im a seer i have visions... i drew this a while back, John has been trying around the clock to find you...”

she held towards you a piece of paper with the drawing of 2 forearms with joined hands but the forearms had names on them... one said “Y/N” the other said “John”...

Y/N: “this is impossible... how did you know about this???”

you rolled up your sleeve and revealed John’s name on your forearm... John who had his sleeves down rolled his up as well and connected his hand with yours as he revealed Y/N on his forearm...

you looked at John as he looked at you with the same fear that went coursing through your veins...

John: “bloody hell Zedd why did you draw this moment...”

Zedd: “i draw whatever i see John now if you dont mind im off to exterminate a demon problem nearby... plus if it wasnt for me sending you to deal with Y/N’s possession you would never have met her... by the way i saw that too...”

John: “cheeky little blitter...”

you tried to move your hand away from Johns but it didn't move...

Y/N: "what's happening? why won't our hands move?"

John: "Its the soulmate bond... it's a magical binding that happens when 2 soulmates touch with their marks... it signifies the binding of 2 souls together..."

Y/N: "so what does this mean?"

John: "it means we either at this moment need to announce the mystical bindings of marriage or consummate our soulmate binding..."

you were out of place, you were beside yourself you were talking with this guy who saved your life but turned out to be your god damn soulmate at the same time thats something that you never thought would happen...

Y/N: “my vote is announce the bindings of Marriage... so i have time to get my powers under control before we consummate anything... does that make sense...”

John breathes in lightly, his eyes staring right into your soul, his mind running wild with all sorts of thoughts... 

John: “we envoke the rights of marriage bindings, anything that we do from here on out will have a great tole on both of us till the day when we stand up in church with the rings embedded with the symbolic binding powers vested in both of us... sub vinculo tenetur illas leges per quos magicae (bind us together under the laws laid out by those whose magic bound them also)”

the second john finished his lines the circle surrounding both of you was lighter but john and you couldnt let go yet... zedd came back and laughed...

Zedd: “you guys only did the first part... there is another part that needs to happen before you guys can have your arms back...”

you and John were now facing eachother the hands that had been at your sides were now attached one on top of the other. both of you sort of smiling at eachother the thoughts swirling through your heads of all the nasty options... Zedd pulled you and John out of it and back to reality as she brought up anohter circle around you guys and she smiled at both of you...

John: “what the bloody hell did we miss?”

Zedd: “you have to both agree to the bond otherwise it doesnt work... it has to be done with another person asking you both a question of course in Latin and of course you have to answer in Latin... are you guys ready?”

John looks at you and you at him as if trying to discover how the other is feeling about all of this...

John: “im ready if you are Y/N..”

Y/N: “lets do it, i cant wait to start practicing/discovering my powers...”

Zedd: “ergo consentire in matrimonium est vinculum universorum vincula? (do you agree to the bindings of this marriage bond?)”

Y/N: “Nunc munere in hoc conveniunt (i do hereby agree)”

John: “Nunc munere in hoc conveniunt (i do hereby agree)”

Zedd lowered the circle before speaking one final line as though to complete the binding.

Zedd: “Ecce ego unionem in magica huius benedicat constitutionis (i hereby bless this union under the magical constitution) you may kiss the bride...”

John leaned in at the sametime you did and your lips did the rest, before long your hands were freed but they seemed to do their own thing...

but thats when Zedd had a vision, she started sketching as you and John made out right in the middle of the bunker, she saw multiple things...

doves

rings

a cage

the demonic circle

a set of demonic black eyes

a broken knot

seeing all these things kinda terrified Zedd but she was just happy that right then her friend and her friends soulmate were happy but she finished sketching anyway and hid it in the back of her book... for the fear that if she told right now it would make things worse than they already were...

~thats all for now folks~