#im gonna pee bc WTF

[mommahughes19-23]

2 months - N.H

small note incase you dont know : (EDITED) Nina is Nico Hischiers sister irl and Sarah is Nico Daws girlfriend irl. NICO HISCHIER DOESNT HAVE A GF THAT I KNOW OF

momma.yn : from the late nights to early mornings, constantly having to pee, and wanting to kill everyone I think @nicohischier and I made a pretty cute baby 💓 Welcome to the world Sasha Hischier , you are already so loved

tagged : @nicohischier

nicohischier : the most amazing momma out there and thank you meine tochte (my daughter) for the past 2 months❤️‍🔥

dawson1417 : @momma.yn Ryleigh and me are so happy you popped, idk how much longer I could deal w your attitude

↪ nicodaws : for real , you drop ONE cookie and its over🤧

↪ momma.yn : EXCUSE ME FOR CARRYING LIFE AND BECOMING HORMONAL . NO CUDDLES FROM MY DAUGHTER FOR YOU @dawson1417 @nicodaws .

jesperbratt : I can't wait to convert her to a mini swede🇸🇪🇸🇪

↪ nichohischier : in your dreams buddy 🙅🏻 @jesperbratt

↪ tmeier96 : not about to let that happen sorry 🙅🏻 @jesperbratt

jackhughes : "omg jack that camera was the best baby shower gift I got" @momma.yn dw I know its how I do

↪ momma.yn : good riddance jacklynn😤🤫

↪ lhughes_06 : @jackhughes you act like you paid for it on your own bud 🤨

ninahischier : welcome to the family little one , Tante kann es kaum erwarten, dich zu verwöhnen 🤩😭 (aunty can't wait to spoil you)

↪ tmeier96 : Wer hat gesagt, dass du derjenige sein darfst, der sie verwöhnt? 🫷🏻🤡 (who said you get to be the one to spoil her)

sarakobel : dont listen to neeks babe, we are so happy for you two!💓💓💓

tofff73 : so when do I get to teach her to skate @momma.yn @nicohischier

↪ nicohischier : not even in your dreams bud @tofff73 🙅🏻🙅🏻🙅🏻

ehaula : 👶🏻👶🏻👶🏻👶🏻👶🏻

bssmith2 : 🤰🏻🤰🏻🤰🏻🤰🏻

john.marino97 : 🫨🫨🫨🫨🫨

pally_18 : vítej mé dítě (welcome my child)

A. N :

was supposed to be w quinner but I feel like Nico deserves some love too, I hope that's ok!

howdy there, this is part request/part based on the lil thing I posted earlier because my irl daughter turns 4 in 4 days and I MISS HER BEING SO SMALL. SAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO JASMINE EVERYONE -_- I FINALLY GOT HER A LIL DEVILS AND CANUCKS JERSEY omg shes gonna be the biggest hughes supporter there ever was. no we dont live in Canada or New Jersey so we can't go to home games but best believe when the panthers play either team INITIATE HER FIRST HOME GAME IN SOMETHING OTHER THAN A TKACHUK JERSEY BITCHES.

speaking of I prob won't be active Sunday or Monday because she has requested a princess hockey theme and idk wtf that means. also bc my ex sperm donor doesnt help im doing it solo.

any who Im off to do bath time where yes we will be watching nhl edits on tick tock. ( I swear I dont force her she just has a good eye like her mommy)

*EVERYTHING WAS GOOGLE TRANSLATED SO IF YOU HAPPEN TO SPEAK CHEZCH OR GERMAN PLEASE DONT COME FOR ME IF THEY ARE WRONG*

XOXOXOXOXO, M

TAGS: @lukey-pookie-hughes43 and @skylershines

[ghost-wysteria]

Texts between me and my girlfriend(+ our friendgroup):

Me: babe

babe

babe

Gf: yeah love?

Me: whats babe backwards

ebab

ew

wtf💀

Gf: LMFAO-

.

Me: i wish you would call me babygirl😔

Gf, replying to a message from months ago: (I'll answer your prays bbg😩) i have tho💅

.

Me: im not really a 10, im more like a 7 maybe an eight

Gf: nah boy your definitely an 20/10 2×

Me: i like you, you lie alot😩😩

.

Me and my gf playing doors:

Me: AAAAA WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK FUCKITY FUCKER

Gf: oh thats just my bestie😋💅

.

Me: i love white boys sm

Gf: *'gf's user' has pinned a message to the chat*

Me: GIRL ISTG

.

Me: I SWEAR I DONT LIKE BLUE MEN-

.

Me: BEGONE DANDRUFF LORD!

.

Me: *talking about a Christian lady who was harassing me*

Gf: if i was there i would've smacked that old bitch and said "SOMEONE SHOULD PUT YOU IN A BOX FLOATING DOWN A RIVER GRANDMA

.

Gf: my dads a motherfucker... bc he fucked my mother

Me: oh yeah I'd think he did💀

.

Me: 🔫doodoo watee🔫

.

K: im not havin sex with you waltuh

.

W: i put my balls in the deepfryer

Me: W wtf.

.

Me: babe your ruining my confession of love to K

.

P: the best way to make friends to to express yourself in a way that will attract people with common interests

.

.

like faking a heart attack in a nursing home

.

W: hello bitch

Me: *shrieks*

W: wait no, GREATINGS M'LORD

Me: NOOO HOW DO YOU KNOWWWW

.

J: hey griffin!

Me: hey J, and did you just call me griffin? Its daddy to you /j

J: LMFAOJDJEJWS

.

Me: *sends gif* thinking bout daddy

.

P:

All of us: *screaming*

.

Me: WAIT GF DOESNT KNOW HOW TO SPELL FEBRUARY???

.

Me: i think i have scoliosis, also i love p#rn(knowing full well im asexual)

.

W: I WILL PEE Y0VR PANTSSS

.

Me: im in deep- WAIT NO-

.

Ex: you can sleep on the chairs

Me: BEAN BAG CHAIRS BITCHES AHA

.

Gc dad: AND IF YOU COME IN HERE AGAIN WITH A GODDAMN OPINION, I WILL SHOVE IT SO FAR UP YOUR ASS👹

.

W: ahee

.

Dad: GET ONTOP OF THE FRIDGE OR ISTFG.

.

Gf: my tears arent worth your precious life

J: gf what the fuck does that even mean

.

Me: i have a cup of tater tots

.

Me: NO CAT YOU CANT HAVE MY FUCKING CHOCOLATE MILK YOU DUMBASS.

.

Me: @'W's username' i bet you got a nokia brick phone sized d#ck

W: i bet you got an iphone 6s sized d#ck you asshole

.

W: my ass on chitter

.

Me, towards P: im gonna shove your quotable lines up your ass sonny

.

Me: y'all ever clap your thighs together and just hear ✨clap✨

Gf: nope, i hear a crack when i kick my brothers fucking back<3

.

W: i want cheese and motherfucking crack

.

Gf: CHECK YOUR BIRF CIRTIFICATE

Me: I CANT, IDK WHAT A FUCKING BIRF CIRTIFICATE IS.

(I might make one of these with my other friendgroup<3)

[momiamtired]

chapter 2 so they think im cringe. i will never be able to see my friends bc i will be able to leve canada onlt after 4 years bc of this stupid and random biometrics shit and i had only chance of meeting them this summer but now its all pointless bc of a random canada government decision. i want to pee so bad and this stupid american bitch is washing her ass for 2348493 hours with stupid pop childish music in the background gosh. i lost 700 dollars recently idk where or how i genuanly dont know its prob my roommate but im not sure so basically yeah and im reallt sensitive about losing money so yesterday was a fun day to me. my stupid mind is doing some crazy shit and tries to convince me to believe in karma or god idk basically its if i will think that everything will be bad then everything will be good but i should genuanly believe it all will be bad and i just go back n forth with this idea always going on on my minds. i have a couple of different templates of how this world from my mind' perspective works but im too tired to think ab it. ig every time i think that its just what it is its just how wolrd is and nobody is giving me a happy time after all of this is over as my mind always tries to constantly tell me i guess its just too painful for me. i want to believe that i will be happy in a short time. i want too. but every day i wake up and some awful shit happens to me. its awful to be extraverted and i dont have friends here. i hate this fucking bitch PLEASE leve i want to use toilet wtf is wrong with u. pleeeeaseee im all sweaty npw bc of how i want to pee. i noticed that they wash themselves so rarely here. idk why my roommate smells just awful and she is 22 and she never washes herself so at night when i have troubles sleeping i also need to smell her beatiful aromas and im gonna be silent ab her mouth like she never washes her teeth how can u have so many man and smell so awful and be so nasty. anyways i dont reallt know what to do? i lost my motivation to even live( but not to eatt i will never lose it i have ed) i just dont want to do anything to see anything to feel anything i just want to die and be reborn. i dont believe in reincarnation but being able to not feel anything is better than living how i live now. i never cry but i cry here really often. like a couple of times per weak? i never cry literally never. that bc my coping mechanism is trying to find a decision and i will fucking find this decision even if im gonna die but rn there is no decision there is nothing there is just finnish studying than good luck to being lucky for finding a place to live and a job and if u wont find a placce to stay u will have to sleep on a bed with a roommate who washes herself once per weak and stole ur only money. and even now my mind is trying to say to me that i will be fine and the situation will be better! but fuck u it wont be better and i know it because there is no fucking hope left here there is literallt nothing left no fucking move will make it better NOTHING will make it better. im a fucking psychology major wtf is wrong with me. i just cant believe how cruel the life is and how awful it is and how i just couldnt ever think it could get that bad. its just all of my failures they are so random and its not even my fault in any of those! and as i told u my mind again tries justify everything that is happening to me like no just think ab it!! no way it can be this awful right? no way this all could happen to u just like this and without a happy ending! yes it can and yes it happened and im tired of expecting something good to happen to me i just want to die pls why do i have parennts it would be so much easier. i would love to leave this hell and so study to europe but we already spent SO much money on only this first semester so i cant even imagine how can i justify going back home in my head, in front of my relatives. i hate myself

[happyviolentine]

Anxious about pregnancy.

I was preggo once and it was fucking hell. Got an abortion (thank god europe is moving forward instead of backwards *ehem…us wtf r u doin).

Usually, my methods of summoning my period (when its late) are the following steps:

1. Wear white panties. No panty liner, in my favorite lightcolored sweatpants/jeans

2. Buy a pregnancy test. If that doesnt work:

3. Tell the babydaddy that im late.

Yeah those steps usually worked. And they didnt. So yah once im home im gonna pee on a stick and hope for the best (one line or a tumor or menopause or smth)

Wish me luck :/ bc eventho my body is ready and willing to reproduce but i am not, i fail to take care of myself, i feel like i fail to take proper care of my dog, how am i supposed to care for a child, a baby, a future human adult. Fuck

[mikuplushes]

.

[missmeinyourbones]

HEYY L i missed coming thru ur inbox hehe i hope you're having a very nice day!!!

what are ur thoughts on taking care of jean when he's sick </3

-strawberry

HI BERRY!! i missed you coming thru! i hope youve been well & are having a lovely day today :) also thank u for this inspiration bc jean definitely has allergies and i see him getting sick in the spring LMFAO

he is such a big whiny baby when hes sick LMFAO

i feel like hes good w physical pain like a pulled muscle or deep cut, but he probably has a terrible tolerance for minor things like headaches or sniffles 🙄 LOL

so dramatic...a lot of "this is the end for me baby" and "this is what death feels like huh :/" and ur like jean you literally have a cold

your best bet it to make sure hes keeping up w his medicines, making sure he is always taking it at the proper times and w the correct doses, keeping up w it keeps his complaining to a minimum

he does that thing at first where hes like DONT COME NEAR ME UR GONNA GET SICK >:( but the second ur like i literally dont care he gets so whiny and clingy...you get up to pee or to grab some water and hes like wtf ur gonna leave me rn...when im sick????? thats rude :/ i hate him

hes rlly bad at drinking water and fluids when hes sick so its a lot of you forcing it down his throat and hes like im not thirsty 😐 i dont want to drink anymore 😐 and you have to be like ITS NOT ABT U BEING THIRSTY ITS ABT U FLUSHING OUT UR SYSTEM IDIOT

when he feels better & hes back to normal he is very grateful for you putting up with his grumpy antics <3 he gets u a little gift or something w a note that says "thanks for babying me" like you dont always baby him

[vermillioncrown]

okay im very curious about yunxun in sqq’s body with pidw knowledge

oh boy there’s a lot, i hope this is satisfying.

Pre-transmigration:

Is ZYX the type to hate-read? no, bc her ninja code is “bitch i have two working feet, i can just walk away”

except, pIDW is such... it’s an emergent phenomena. it’s chaos theory, exemplified. she can’t help but to read it as a way to practice her chinese in between her TAing hours and lab hours, and her actual chinese suffers all the mroe for it

(setting here is that zyx, as american trash, would only hate-read a cnovel if she was forced to enjoy only cmedia bc she chose to go to grad school in HK/china instead of currently like yours truly)

(i never hid the fact that zyx is a self-insert so)

baby cousin recommends this to her. she goes “wtf did i do to offend you”

But holy shit, this train wreck. and the shitty english that airplane occasionally writes out for his notes and blogs, she just... maybe some lonely nights, she’s drunk enough to rant in his comments under an appropriate pseud.

nokdao420′s (sounds like ‘suck dick’ in her canto dialect lmao) in-depth lambasting of airplane-bro’s lack of continuity, character development, ppp stallion fantasy trash gets meme’d like the navy seal copypasta

and bc she usually never puts herself out there, even anonymously, she immediately dumps the nokdao420 pseud and just tries to move on.

But she CAN’T, bc there was SO MUCH FUCKING POTENTIAL WITH THE SETTING, THE POLITICAL INTRIGUE, LBH, awto;io;hjaserghio;aweeeeee

Basic truck isekai, nbd, but she did die bc she was so mad she dropped her phone and picked it up without paying attention (all her shit is there, and she’s in a foreign country - that’s her whole life haha... literally)

Waking up:

She’s a nerd but not that nerdy; she’s never ‘one day im gonna transmigrate and i’m going to play my part!’

it’s ‘what serial killer got me, and how many minutes do i have left before he comes back to harvest my organs’

YQY and MQF are worried, but not as ‘is SQQ possessed?’ bc let’s face it, SY!SQQ tried his best but gave his worst. ZYX!SQQ is much more curt, snappy, and cold.

She Realizes. “Excuse this shidi for a moment.” goes outside, sticks head into pond, and screams

much better at playing transition from real SQQ to nicer SQQ, much more manipulative than SY

But in the end, besides the System being a piece of shit and making her do things, she’s not really a bad person. in fact, she likes being a good person.

(perhaps the tsuntsun nature of her SQQ performance is like a milkshake for all the boys in the yard. they swarm)

uhh...

oh. right, the penis. at least it’s easier to diddle and clear the pipes? “wait, if i pee in the woods, are there really fish that can swim up and bite -”

On LBH:

“Play cool play cool - NO I’M SUCH A MARSHMALLOW BITCH”

LBH breaks her fucking heart. She... she can’t

There are conspiracy theory-level charts in the bamboo house on the morality of how to treat LBH. to be good, and to need to push him anyways? (she interrogates the system relentlessly) (the system is pushed too far and she gets her first punishment protocol there)

(she learns that her mind isn’t safe. this system isn’t here to help; it’s here for its own entertainment.)

But... she figures, over the years, if he needs to go down, she can at least prepare him. and then she can run, or fake her own death.

actually, that sounds kinda fun (she says, trying not to cry every day)

LBH, receiving these scraps of care from his cold-hearted shizun, starts to believe that something he did is slowly warming him up! He’s finally doing something right!!

so ZYX!SQQ (ugh, i’m just Z!SQQ) is a stern teacher. not affectionate. short-tempered. intolerant of ignorance and stupidity.

but always willing to teach if you’re willing to learn. will respect your mistakes more if you admit to them and correct them. if you show guile and intelligence, but not turn your talents against your fellow disciples.

Praise is always given when merited.

LBH’s inner M comes out so quick, he’s basically dying all day every day

(ZYX!SQQ has no fucking idea, the concept of self and others’ perception of them as beyond a blank mannequin person is so alien, it doesn’t even pass their mind.)

LBH’s crush/fixation is further cemented (when LBH ends up lving with Z!SQQ bc there really wasn’t any room in the dorms due to logistics mishap) when he gets to spy on Z!SQQ when they think no one’s around (they think that LBH is sleeping bc who the fuck has that kind of energy? GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP YOU’RE TWELVE)

(”begging the pardon of shizun, this luo binghe is fourteen”) (’UGH no, you are BABY’)

but Z!SQQ doesn’t understand that while it’s ‘real’, this world operates like a novel. like, they know, but knowing is not understanding. Protag halo is the most blatant and obvious example, but protag ‘do too much’ energy is more subtle.

basically LBH has all the time int he world to do everything and spy on his master. at his master dropping his facade and grumbling. actual smiles or pouts. at his master humming and cooking little snacks at night, that somehow find their way into LBH’s lunches. at his... at his master, caressing his body and gentle sighs deep into the night.

And beyond that, Z!SQQ doesn’t let LBH do all the chores. they enjoy cooking, and despite LBH’s protag halo he’s still a child and doesn’t know every recipe in the world. she pretneds that she cant see him watching her cook and she purposefully talks to herself on her process and ingredients, while vein popping trying not to swear

LBH is just gone. 1000% gone.

On LQG:

“NO, THIS ASSHOLE’S MY TYPE!” Z!SQQ screams internally even as Qi Deviation LQG is about to nuke them from orbit

As they’re trying to stablize LQG, Z!SQQ has no control over their mouth and it’s the foulest string of curses in all languages at this shit ass world, shit ass system, shit ass luck, sei bei nei tai nei zek lan cut hai (watch me just fucking die here you stink ass dick cunt)

LQG tries to lob accusations, and Z!SQQ: stfu i just saved your pretty boy ass and you tried to kill me, your payment is your eternal silence.

the paradigm shift that LQG experiences isn’t as jarring as SY!SQQ, but it’s more a ‘did i misunderstand this guy?! was... I, me, wrong?!?’

Z!SQQ would never want to use someone as a meat shield. that’s not how they think. they were raised as the meat shield (poc older sisters, where y’all at)

So it’s a cat-mouse of LQG “LET ME REPAY MY DEBT” and Z!SQQ “FUCK OFF YOU’RE TOO HOT AND I MIGHT GET CURSED TO FUCK”

and LQG’s debt just keeps wracking up

but Z!SQQ can’t help but to make fun of LQG whenever they’re in public and LQG can’t (i mean, he can, but he ... huh.) make a scene. They can’t help it, it’s their crush reflex - either they screams a confession out so that they can get rejected and move on with their life, or they are mean af to their crush so that they can kill their own heart and die bc feelings are itchy

EVERYONE IS A FUCKING M IN THIS NOVEL, LQG CAN’T HELP IT TOO

Z!SQQ’s jokes at his expense aren’t nearly as mean as SJ!SQQ. and he can’t take his eyes off his wayward shixiong or that flighty asshole is going to run off and not let him do as his honor calls for.

(if he takes his eyes off his shixiong, he won’t see the satisfied little smirk that curls up on the corner of those lips; a delicate mouth and elegant eyes hiding a vocabulary more disgusting and crass than the grimiest street rat out there)

On YQY:

wary of YQY bc she has more emotional intelligence than a garden snail and can smell the unresolved guilt off that guy like stink waves. the face she makes at his presence is so SJ!SQQ that YQY never questions it

that guy’s an M himself, so he can’t help but keep trying

catches Z!SQQ throwing a tantrum and getting frustrated, bitter lashing out (he thinks it’s like SJ)

really, it’s them freaking out that they were supposed to teach shit they don’t know (body know, but not mind, and they values their mind over anything) and it just got overwhelming and they were midway destroying a guqin with their bare hands

YQY understands. the Qi deviation took away some memories, some vital, some trivial. Xiao-jiu’s skill in the arts, something that he prided for having clawed his way up to with the hands of a street rat, now lost.

YQ offers to teach them again, and suggests to have the hall masters take over for the classes as ‘SQQ needs to recover from their deviation’ and Z!SQQ snarls, hating that they have to depend on others and having their responsibility taken from them

(because if people think she’s useless, then they’ll never care again. she’ll mean nothing. if she loses a chance to prove herself, and it’s not like it’s false, she can feel the skill in the body, it just won’t connect in the head, she- she-)

so begins the cold war-esque private lessons from YQY that always end with Z!SQQ stomping away (what fucks do they give about composure if YQY didn’t? don’t you know how tiring it is to play a role 24/7? the dick’s gonna chafe if they tries to stress relief any more!!), or the destruction of another instrument, or ink upended on YQY when he’s being too grossly patronizing

YQY just feels hope that he can still bridge the gap between him and xiao-jiu. bc xiao-jiu needs him again

My FAVE, AIRPLANE-BRO:

Caught. Caught way before the Immortal Alliance Conference.

Caught whomst? Airplane caught Z!SQQ

Why? bc they actually respect service workers, thus they respect an ding.

being that they did study some logistic/supply chain-type problems before, the inner nosy bitch and addict to optimality can’t help but maybe nudge some improvements towards an ding’s way

SQH catches them being nice tot he an ding disciples “Who the fuck are you”

Z!SQQ reaches out and grabs him by the lapels and yoinks him into a cupboard: “You first, motherfucker”

“holy shit are you a transmigrator?”

“do you even have to ask?!”

“bro, chill - no need to bite my head off”

“i am a paper’s thickness proximity to mcfucking losing it. i am going to die. my limbs will be torn off. people will die. everyone keeps bothering me. I have a dick and it’s weird to run with. I’m not happy with this fucking tire fire novel that i’ve been yote into”

“a. ahahaa,... sounds like... you have some problems going on... a hahah”

Z!SQQ just does a ‘beep beep beep calculating body language’ on SQH

“Bitch. It’s you.”

“No... me? Who?”

“You are Airplane.”

“ah... i see you’re a fan-”

it takes a hoard of children to pin Z!SQQ from strangling SQH with his own belt

After Z!SQQ calms down a bit (a bit bc as author, SQH knows where to get coffee) (”Ok i will admit, i’m a hoeng ziu (a banana: yellow on the outside, white on inside, can listen and speak but can’t read), so correct me if i’m wrong... how coffee if ancient china????”) (”ah, you are wrong, isekai-bro; it’s fantasy and i do what i want”) (”fair”) they start to chat

And airplane-bro really isn’t that bad. he’s actually really fucking funny. and the kind of person that Z!SQQ would totally have been friends with.

Z!SQQ commiserates being college poor and doing anything to survive

“but it still sucks dick” “okay, also fair”

“btw what was your username?”

“I lurked.”

“oh c’mon, with a reaction like that, you had to have commented at least once. I read all my comments. which anti-fan?”

“you... are so nasty. you’re really a glutton for punishment, arent’ you?”

“who just got you coffee, you rotten banana?” (”btw can you teach me better english?”)

(”yeah sure only bc your blog posts made me want to commit homicide”) “... i. commented once. as. ‘nokdao420′”

“Holy shit. the legendary copypasta nokdao420. that’s you???”

“what.”

“your post was meme’d to hell. it was the hot meme for 30 chs in a row to copypasta it into the comments”

“what.”

“i mean, i guess you wouldn’t know, being a banana and all - but y’know, i did like what you had to say. under all the insults. you actually saw a lot of the ... the stuff i wanted to write. earlier.”

“the infuriating thing was because that trash pile had potential. and to anyone with real eyes and working social skills, it’s clear that you’ve never fucked in your entire life”

“aol;wehoh Well, have you?! nokdao420 pullin’ pussy?! Hah?”

“no. i don’t like pussy enough to put that much effort into finding it”

“... why did you read my novel, again?”

“filial duty”

They actually get along great, because memers have to stick together.

To Z!SQQ’s reluctance, they did memorize a lot of the novel (skipped nothing bc they read like they inhale, esp once the language barrier was lowered) and thus it’s the Banana-bro (”you will not call me by -” “what, Nokdao420? huh? whatcha gonna do about it?” “i’ll make sure your airplane never takes off. personally, permanently.”) and Airplane-bro adventures to save their skins

(airplane legit has an ugly cry when he finds out that Z!SQQ used to be a woman. “get up you pathetic freak” “banana-sis, you gotta let me mourn.” it’s the closest that he’s been near real pussy that isn’t grossed out by him, and it’s no longer extant. Z!SQQ delights in taunting him “oh yeah, i had double d’s. an ass with a shelf. bazongas, as they called them in the states.” “banana-sis please you’re kicking a poor man while they’re in the dirt”)

okay that’s enough, so much stuff and i didn’t mean to

[justsomefluff]

ATEEZ Reacts to You in Another Member’s Bed

Summary: You had to get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. When you come back to bed, it is not the bed you were expecting.

Hongjoong:

Big baby wouldn’t want you to leave the bed in the first place

Clutching at your shirt to keep you in place

When you manage to escape you can still hear him whining and rolling around

After you finish your business, you stumble back into the room and fall back into bed

But Wooyoung is like wtf are you doing

You're like whoops

And then bounce over to the right bed and Joong is like

I saw that

Like okay? And?

So you just close your eyes again, I mean no biggie 

But Joongie is like

Heyyyyyyyyyyyy.... you should know betterrrrr

Whiny to the max

So you just squish your face up under his neck and shush him

In the morning he’s all pouty still 

So you have to make a big show of apologizing to both him and Wooyoung

Takes a hot second to get forgiveness

Highkey, he wasn’t actually mad

Actually thought it was really funny

Just wanted extra affection (brat)

Seonghwa:

This possessive fool

You get up and go to bathroom no problem

He just kinda rolls over once you leave

But when you go back to bed

In Mingi’s bed...

Mingi screams bc he’s dramatic

And you scream bc terrifying

And Yeosang is like wtf can y’all stfu

So you’re all embarrassed and apologizing profusely

You back out of the room and start laughing to yourself in the hallway

This time you check the room to be sure it’s the right one

You slip under the covers next to Seonghwa, still laughing

He wakes up this time and he’s like

“Funny dream?”

And you tell him what happened

He laughs at first but then he’s all

How could you go to Mingi’s room

Oppa told you you’re his to cuddle

Starts referring to himself in the third person, as Oppa

You’re rolling your eyes like dude hush

So he gets pouty like 

Don’t roll your eyes at Oppa

STOP CALLING YOURSELF OPPA

And then you go back to sleep without incident but have to give him extra affection in the morning

Yunho:

As soon as you get out of bed he starfishes

You’re like wow I’m never gonna be able to get back in bed, there’s no room

When you finish in the bathroom you’re all squinty because your eyes are droopy and stuff

When you wiggle yourself into bed next to the starfish, you’re like ugh this sucks

You start poking his belly to get him to move

Then Jongho’s like who the hell is poking me

He opens his eyes and is like whatcha doin’ kiddo

And you’re like oh geez

So you just run out of the room and hope he thinks it was a dream

When you find the correct starfish, he has transformed into a burrito

So now, instead of not having space, you won’t have blankets

Lovely

But you decide not to poke because you have just experienced some seriously awkward consequences to poking

You just start violently tugging on the sheets

Who really cares if he wakes up

Yunho will just fall right back to sleep anyway

Unconsciously, Yunho lifts his arm above his head 

And you YANK

Burrito: unrolled

So basically Yunho sleeps through everything and you have to tell him in the morning

And he’s like HAHAH you’re embarrassing

Doesn’t care and makes fun of you for the rest of your life

“Lmao remember that time-”

Yunho I swear to God

Yeosang:

Smushy cheeks on his pillow

Dead asleep when you leave

But you end up back in bed

With Hongjoong

Hongjoong wakes up and he’s like 

Um, s’cuse me

Get out

And he’s blushy because it’s awkward

But you’re so tired that you don’t really care tbh

Of course in the morning you’ll be mortified but cross that bridge ya know?

So you waddle over to the right room

Slip into bed next to Yeosang

He wakes up this time like where’d ya go

Bathroom then I slept with Joong

WHAT

“Accidentally went to his room and almost fell asleep in his bed lmao we didn’t have sex dummy”

Ohhhhhhhhhhh

He laughs but you seriously scared him how rude

But then he thinks about it some more and he giggles (you know the super cute one he does?? that one)

Genuinely finds humor in the situation

Still laughing about it in the morning tbh

Makes fun of you so much when you’re dying of embarrassment 

“HYUNG SHE SAID YOU SLEPT TOGETHER”

STFU NO I DID NOT

But who remembers facts? Not Yeosang

San:

San is more bitter about it than the others

When you tell him how you accidentally got in Seonghwa’s bed instead of his he’s like

Then go back

Jealous baby

How could she not know my bed??

Expects you to have some sort of sixth sense about him just cuz you’re dating

Tbh always thought you were a superhero aww

But you’re powers are weak apparently

How dare you not recognize his bed at 3 in the morning when you’re tired and there’s no light?!

Absurd

And you have to spend the entire next day forcing him into cuddles and kisses and stuff cause he’s lowkey mad at you

But you’re determined to get it through his thick ass head that it was an honest mistake

Finally he relents but he’s like, next time you have to pee...hold it

San literally makes the exact same mistake and ends up in Seonghwa’s bed

Seonghwa is like IM GONNA PUT A PADLOCK ON MY DOOR

Oops

And then it’s your turn to make fun of San so you’re even

Mingi:

Big. Baby.

Clingy and all that

But you’re half asleep

I’ll be back I just have to pee chill the f out

But then you are not back

Because you’re in Yunho’s bed

Two big boys can get confusing in the dark okay?

And Yunho didn’t wake up when you got in his bed so he doesn’t even notice anything out of place

Mingi is like

She’s been gone a while

And he goes to look for you

Clingy or is he just worried bout you? You decide

Anyway you’re not in the bathroom so he’s like ??????

But then he’s walking by Yunho’s room and he’s like

He never leaves the door open what’s up with that

So he peeks in and he’s like... there’s one extra person in that bed...

He’s nosy so he’s like who dis

AND ITS YOUUU

He’s like what in the world

But you and Yunho aren’t like, cuddling or anything so he’s like whatever

Basically you just made a wrong turn on the way back from the bathroom bc their doors are across from each other

Mingi just kinda picks you up and takes you back to his room

Doesn’t say anything to anyone in the morning because he doesn’t wanna embarrass you sweet boy

Does make you stay in bed with him for a while longer in the morning though

But you don’t really think anything of it bc he’s hard to wake up anyway

Wooyoung:

You’re scared to tell him that after you went potty you ended up in Yeosang’s bed

I mean nothing happened but Wooyoung’s mind can spiral into suspicion so you’re worried

I mean Yeosang was just as terrified

Wooyoung’s wrath ya know?

Yeosang’s like did you see him win that blindfolded swordfight omg

So you and Yeosang decide to both tell him

You’re all on different couches like an intervention

And you explain what happened super gently

You’re already apologizing to both of them when Wooyoung laughs straight in your face

He’s like WHO CARES

As long as anything didn’t actually happen between you then whatever

Just try not to do it again

And you’re like ahhhhh omigod

Wooyoung just kinda gives you a hug and a kiss

Then he leaves the room like nothing happened

And you and Yeosang are like... wut

So you follow him like are you actually okay bc like

And Wooyoung’s like I genuinely don’t care

But then you make him cuddle for the rest of the day bc you wanna make sure he knows you love him

Jongho:

You never intended to end up in San’s bed

Quite the opposite actually

I mean he does share a room with your boyfriend so I guess that’s an alright excuse

But you pretty much passed out again after your head hit the pillow

San wakes up and is like wtf

And instead of waking you up to get you out of his bed he starts whisper shouting to Jongho

And Jongho’s like shut up Im asleep

San’s like get yo girl

Jongho wakes up at that one

And then he’s laughing like really loud

Because he thinks it’s hilarious

Like San is so uncomfortable and you're dead asleep

Laugh riot

And he’s being loud so you wake up

And then Jongho’s standing and San is in bed next to you and you’re like oooowhooppsssiee

So you get up and you’re like my bad

San’s like whatever don’t get in my bed, you kicked Shiber out of his spot

Sorry Shiber

You get back into bed with Jongho but he keeps laughing so you don’t sleep for another hour

Teases the living daylights out of you until San threatens to kill him and he’s like sorry hyung

Then you sleep

But if you think he's not gonna start making fun of you straight out the gate in the morning

You’re so wrong

[bebekyoda]

Ragnarok (Netflix) : A Summary/Review of season 1

Okay so 5th season of Skam looks pretty dope, its Magnus Fossbakken y'all

they have THREE Skam actors and im here for it

PROTECT MAGNE SEIER AT ALL COSTS

apparently Vidar is a psychopath who has serious anger issues and can NOT keep his damn clothes on

what the fuck was that first episode eye--

Isolde didn't deserve this mistreatment

Fjor is hot.. until he wears that ugly ass jumpsuit

also he peed on Isolde's memorial so he can fuck off

he starts to grow in me like "oh so he's a good boi" but then i have flashbacks to the pee pee thing

i can only forgive him if he betrays that creep and psychos of a fAMiLy

at first i disliked Laurits but what he did at the 6th episode... we stan

im pretty sure he's Loki lmao

he's gonna be an emo icon i can feel it

also when he wore his mother's shirt.. y e s

i HATE Saxa oh my god that bitch needs to go

she's just like Vidar but has more sense

I'd like it if Fjor killed her.. please..

i don't like Turid she never listens to her children and is always thinking about herself

i don't support Gry being in a relationship with Fjor he deadass tried to kill her lmao GO KILL SAXA INSTEAD YOU DUMB FUCK

also even Fjor and Laurtis have more attraction to each other lol

honestly Ran could cut me with her cheekbones and jawline

there's no sexual or emotional tension between Isolde's dad and Turid whatsoever wtf Laurits

the dance scene.. was kinda wtf but also.. hot?? idk the way Laurits just joined Fjor and Saxa and danced like he's been practicing a choreo with them made me come up with some theories

and this theory definitely has a thing with Turid and Vidar's past

also that theory is one of the reasons why i think Laurits is probably Loki

THE VIEWS OMG

I WANT TO LIVE IN NORWAY

THE SCENERY IS JUST FUCKING BEAUTIFUL

i love the atmosphere very much it's dark and rainy

also the soundtrack.. they have M83 which is awesome

i love how it started out with Magne being dyslexic like how Rick Riordan wrote in his series, i loved reading Percy Jackson and the Olympians so i had a little nostalgia lol

the way they are defending the environment, trying to get attention to that subject is just beautiful, it's not all about the Norse mythology

also why tf they keep calling Magne fat, he's not fat

MAGNE IS FUCKING GORGEOUS

i saw someone saying "so this is the Thor we get ew" FUCK OFF

im sorry Chris Hemsworth is not here

idc what y'all say mister David Alexander Sjøholt Stakston is beautiful --talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, spectacular, never the same, totally unique, completely not ever been done before, unafraid to reference or not reference, put it in a blender, shit on it, vomit on it, eat it, give birth to it.

but his reflection on the mirror as Thor.. couldn't they at least find a wig???

he deserves better treatment i hate that the other kids are excluding him

i also hope Gry and him will be just friends i just can't picture them in a romantic relationship

omg i really like Iman bc she's befriending Magne uwu

i kinda feel like she knows.. you know?

THAT OLD LADY

i gotta admit the first scene was kinda cringy but okay lol

but that old lady.. damn.. creepy af

6 episodes was too short for me i need more

and i have some theories soo

thank god there's gonna be a season two

not gonna lie the whole thing feels like it's low budget but they did good on using their budget

and the whole season felt like a REALLY long pilot episode

but yea i love it i highly recommend it

btw it is slightly violent

also it's aesthetically pleasing like even if you don't like the plot you could just watch for that

k that's it i guess

bye

[domjaehyun]

Hello babyyyy I really like you😚😚😚 I am not drinking👀👀 but I think about you haha jk👀😩😩 *biting lip emoji*

i’m gonna answer these all together because i want to save them!!!

hiiiiii baby i missed you :’)))) i like you toooooo you’re so fucking cute i can’t take it omg

Ima not lie for a sec you are so secksy😚😚 I’m in like with you😩😩

i’m BLUSHING YOU’RE SO CUTE WTF

I wanna french kiss you but friendly😚😚👅👅😋😋😛😛 -🔮

consider this....we french kiss but there’s nothing friendly about it :))))

Omg lmao did I not tag my last anon messages hahahakk -🔮 whoopsie

it’s okay baby i gotchu!!!

I think I need to pee but before I do I have to say.......... I think you cute idk if I should say this but I had dream of you😳😳😳😳😳 ahhhh I shouldn’t say but😳

omg you absolutely h a v e to tell me what the dream was about what did we do :O

Om fricken goodness I hope I was anon all this time anyways I wanna say that it would be a PRIVILEGE to kiss you girl and too have sexual intercourse with you girl😳😳😳😳 do NOT let anybody tell you different you a bad bitchhh oh wait u don’t like the word bitch I’m sorryyyyy you a bad HOE you so cute and loveable😩😩 it hard out here for a thug like me😩 who really like you a whole lotta omg I’m so sorry I’m exit real quick piece✌️😬 -🔮

sTOPPP YOU’RE SO FUCKING CUTE AND SWEET i was telling my friends i think you’re psychic bc. these came when i needed to see them most so thank you my love i adore you :’)

Ok one more thingy thing ok sorryyyy waittt ima eat mozzarella sticks Rn and I thought of you❤️❤️❤️❤️ I know you like that perhaps👀 oh man I wish I ate one with you👀👀 but like at the same time like lady and dog so we kiss hahahaha😳 jk👀 but not jk ok ima leave I gotta stop sending so many words I miss you🥺🥺🥺 -🔮

stop that makes me so soft i love you wtf :’( i would love to share one with you lady and the tramp style ;) i missed you too im sorry for being gone baby!!!

Ok I will be going to sleep now my love time to rest I wish I could cuddle you to sleep :( ahhh I’m so em bear ess ing luv, I would love to hold you and kissy you while I fall asleep🥺🥺 ok ilyy good night love😘 -🔮

stop i could really use cuddles right now :’( i think you’re the cutiest and i love you!!!!!!!!! good night baby sleep well!!!

[plainvanillapotato]

the 100 diaries S1 E4

quarantine diaries: may 23 2020

Season 1 Episode 4: “Murphy’s law”

finn...really got that game showing off that little magic trick

you go clarke take off your wristband but like lets remember that for the past 3 episodes clarke was very anal about keeping them on. like i get that she wants to rebel against her mom but is this really the best way to go about that idk maybe its just finn recklessness is just rubbing off on her or maybe she officially going though her angsty phase

wtf is murphy like no it is not social acceptable to fucking pee on someone you fucking jackass. this is what i call small dick energy. i hate him. not even his spiky ball jacket can save redeem him.

fingers what? oooh they’re wells’. fuck you charlotte :( 

do bellamy and clark really think that murphy is dumb enough to leave behind the murder weapon that has his initials on it? i mean i guess and yet murphy is like bellamny’s second in command so at this point im questioning bellamy’s intelligence

they really got murphy good. big yikes. this escalated so fast too fast. public lynching no no just no. innocent until proven guilty. guilty until proven innocent. also kinda agree with bellamy on this one. clarke you should have just shut up

charlotte...smh you really could have gotten away with murder but yay for you and your ethical conscience i wonder where that was when you killed wells. like annalise would not be proud. but also bellamy’s look of disappointment :(

is raven called little bird just because her name is raven. also her eyebrows are perfect. im jealous

raven really said “go float yourself” #let these kids cuss

like i get where murphy is coming from bc they literally just hanged him and i hate charlotte too but listen to yourself dude you are calling for the murder of a little girl. and jackass really hit homeboy bellamy yeah idk how they are gonna redeem his character

HAHA when charlotte tried to hold clarke’s hand but then clarke was like bitch no and then told her off for killing wells

there’s a bomb shelter...how convenient. also her talk about how the people were better off dying by the bombs than having to live in the bomb shelter makes me think about the donner party like high key i bet that that was the case for some people that made it to their bomb shelters

charlotte you dumbass these people trying to save your skin but nooooo 

murphy and his buffoons with their torches got beauty and the beast vibez when gaston tried to kill the beast. murphy is obviously lefou tho cuz lets face it hes no gaston

murphy you are not a good negotiator 

aww charlotte. that was dark. but ngl im not sad. i wanted her gone (not necessarily dead) but that was dramatic af

YES MURPHY IS BANISHED!!! hope your spiky ball jacket and finn’s knife is enough to save you out there is the wild. yeah everything that could go wrong really went wrong for murphy. that title really be fittin. but do i feel bad for him no no i do not. really tho murphy went from top of the food chain and pee on a person to being banished real quick.

wishin you godspeed raven. but also no. like im pretty sure that she will make it down to earth safely because the plot needs it but i just don’t want that awkward tension between her, finn, and clark...I guess i have to look forward to in the next episode **sarcastic yay**

bellamy and clarke explaining to the group why they banished murphy...like parents talking to their children...this episode really solidified bellamy and clarke as the dad and mom of the group for me

WTF octavia moved on quick. Atom who? I don’t know him. Jasper <3. 

fuck they really had finn and clarke hookup when his girlfriend is on the way. i know its for the plot but i don’t like it. also y’all remember when octavia was like finn is mine and clarke was like i don’t care. what happen to that ship? side note they did they use practice safe sex or are we about to see clarke have a baby 

[curlyhairedbrock]

Ain’t that the truth!😂❤️

bubba oh my god im gonna cry wtf, i went to the bathroom bc i had to pee and there was a spider on the toilet paper so i got scared and ran out and now i still gotta pee but theres no way in hell im going into the bathroom again 😭😭😭

[scottiequeen]

3x08 THOUGHTS (in order of appearance)

- ice skating experience

- im terrified of iceskating bc my teacher once told me about slipped fingers and I freaked out, so this did nothing good to me

- buck slipping on ice is my mood

- distracted hen mhhhhhh

- AHHAHAHAHAH BOBBY WAS AN ICESAKTER 

- Eddie baby no 

- new truck? okay? 

- kinda buddie?????? yeah I'll take it

- HAHHHAH BOBBY’S CARDBOARD (?)

- WTF BUCK’S DOING WHEN THEY TALK ABOUT HAIR AHHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAH

- ooooo Athena’s in the house 

- I LIVE FOR DOMESTIC BATHENA

- tf why did they suspend her, she catched a criminal that nobody could’ve so what up

-lolz bobby’s looks @ everyone during the dinner time

- smart car? cmon of course you gonna have an accident.

- lolz they useless cuz they already in a hospital

- LEAVE MY MOTHERS ALONE PLEASE LIKE OMG

ALSO, HEN’S TRYING 

DENNY’S TRYING 

KAREN’S TRYING UNFVKQBWVBIUFBIURWB

- domestic madney + buck

- buck, as usual, immediately pointing out EDDIE’S behavior 

- oh shit chimney told a lot of peeps

- Maddie’s telling her bro appreciation bullet point

- EDDIE WHAT THE FUCK

- he hid 

- LENA WAS THE ONE TO PUT SENSE INTO HIM? YOU KNOW WHAT? I’LL TAKE IT 

- hen and Athena’s friendship owns me

- hen! talking! to! Athena!

- ooof Eddie u a bad friend, I kinda feel sorry for her

- HOLY SHIT BOBBY AND EDDIE(’SBREAKDOWN)

- Eddie breaking down, realizing Shannon was gonna leave him anyways, because HE DIDNT FORGET THAT (T_T)

- what the fuck? new scene where everything’s fine?

- okay dude wtf they have to pee they have their right

- DUDE WHAT WAS YOUR PLAN? PEE ON THE ROBOT AND THEN WHAT? WTF?

- “im gonna get fired” LOOOOOL

- DONT GO ANYWHERE SHANE 

- hen’s back with chimney babe

- she helped him YAY

- WAIT A MINUTE

-OH MY GOD 

- I feel sorry for this girl, everyone was so proud of her

- HENNNNNN SHE FEELS BADD

- HEN HAVING A PANICK ATTACK ME=CRYING

- ATHENA BEING THERE FOR HEN 

- AISHA HINDS GREAT PERFORMANCE

-  the end 

final thoughts:

- 911 writers took the two most calming and patient and composed characters and said “how about no?” 

- by making them break they broke me

- shaking hands and tears are back!

- thats all for today, see ya in a reblog, when I watch the promo.

[justforlove]

Ooooh Camp story!! 💫Jasmine💫

ok im gonna jump right in. so. me and my sister went to go get smth from my cabin and on the way we stopped at the bathroon, so i go in to pee and im in the stall, and my sister was outside of the stall holding my things and all of a sudden she just starts shrieking, "GRACE OH MY GOD GRACE YOU NEED TO GET OUT OF THERE RIGHT NOW GRACE YOU NEED TO LEAVE GRACE HURRY UP GET OUT OF THERE" and usually id think she was joking or something, but this is my sister, i could hear the urgency in her voice and i could tell that there was something very very wrong so obviously i start freaking out and im like "BEKAH OH MY GOD WHATS WRONG WHAT IS IT" as im sitting on the goddamn toilet, so obviously im just trying to pull my fucking pants up and she wont tell me whats wrong so im freaking out and think the building is on fucking fire or smth idk but she was still screaming so i hurry up and get the fuck out of there and shes just standing at the end of the stalls and she points to the other end and shrieks "THERES A SNAKE" ,,,,,and i look over,,,and sat in the corner was a huge coiled pile of pure fucking danger noodle. it was either extremely fucking long (as in multiple feet) or there was more than one and there were all sat just chilling. it was 3 fucking feet away from me when i was fucking sitting on the goddamn toilet. we didnf waste any fucking time we just skedaddled right on out of there like wtf no. anyway we run up to one of the adult leaders and we're like excuse me miss but would you mind just radioing in that there is a very large snake in the 3rd loop bathroom? and shes like what!? anyways yes everyone was very alarmed and eventually they ended up sending two of the men to go and catch it or smth idfk but apparently they couldnt catch it bc it slithered into the fucking wall and yeah so the rest of camp i still had to keep using that bathroom and just hope that peeping tom wouldnt wiggle out from the wall to say hello

[salted-caramel-tea]

ok wtf i just looked it up how does something like that just go through he has en entire merch team and nobody realized what meaning those two letters have??

it’s probably just oversight on the teams behalf im not sure what the final decision on the merch was on whether or not to sell it but a lot of jewish fans are rightfully uncomfortable with the merch but it’s starting a whole war with ppl saying the holocaust was ‘too long ago get over it’ or ‘people are too sensitive nowadays’ mind you these tend to be the same north american ppl saying it’s ok for fans to pee down their legs at concerts bc ppl wont save their spaces so i’m not really gonna listen to them about what is okay and moral

[ragedagainst]

are we showering libby with love and affection today . bcus like. ur unhinged energy is unmatched, ur memes are funky and baffling, ur prose and development of jyn are the most beautiful things i have ever seen in my life... u log in every day to spread terrible pee walkie propaganda but at the same time u post the most evocative and heart wrenching jyn content... u do not let ppl forget how cool she is and how much she has survived... u are a terror and also the fucking coolest i love u

im literally gonna cry nat i love u so much this is so kind wtf:( i could wax poetic for DAYS bc i love u so much and your portrayal of jesper is fantastic and so fuckin spot on that i think he's actually typing out ur replies!!!