#im gonna keel over. im gonna twist

[tricksteroftheheart]

Cosmo roleplay blogs are putting me through it .

[ao3gingerswag]

Another rant because my brain is rotten from brain worms aksjsjsj:

Dean sprains his ankle one day, and Cas and Sam both freak out and team up in making sure Dean is okay.

Sam, without being asked, takes over some of Dean’s chores like gardening and sweeping and Cas has Dean do chores that don’t require much work like washing dishes.

Dean’s very grumpy about it because he doesn’t like feeling useless, and he tells them such. This causes them to freak out again because they’re just super worried about him. Cue them having a long talk about how worry doesn’t equate to uselessness and them just figuring out how to care for each other without making the other feel demeaned.

;~; awwwww yess!! every time dean starts to get up they both rush over to him like he's about to keel over and die and both r like DEAN THINK OF YOUR HEALTH and dean is like >:(((((( I Do Not Like This. Like he likes being allowed to rest and actually heal which is a big novelty but he is also blindsided by the fact that he does NOT like being fussed over hes like omg im fine! i can do things!!!! but he's still shy so he doesnt say that he just huffs a lot.

like dont get me wrong he so appreciates being cared for <3 but he doesnt like being treated like he's made of glass. but also part of it is def the anxiety around being ~useless~ so that long talk is good for all of them ;~; bc dean its ok to rest <333333 ur not useless and even if u were sam and cas would still love u!! but also sam and cas u gotta not smother him he's still a human person who likes to feel productive and isn't gonna shatter bc he twisted his ankle <3 anyway i love them and i love u for bringing this up!

[detectivecutiepantsandhisbabyfox]

29 for mazlek cause it sounds like such a hoe thing to say

This took longer than planned, probably because it’s longer than planned. Ive put it under a read more. I hope you like it anon. 

If anyone is triggered by illness, Joe is unwell in this - not seriously though. But there is talk of vomiting so avoid it if that's triggering for you. 

29. What do you mean you’re sick, you’re supposed to be my partner in crime.

Joe’s phone buzzed continuously on his bedside locker, the sound puncturing his temples like a drill.

His stomach rolled as he moved to lie on his side and attempted to reach his phone; memories of last night spent with his head in the toilet flooding back and causing him to flee from his bed for what felt like the millionth time in the last twelve hours. 

As he re-emerged from his bathroom; making a mental note to buy more cleaning products, he heard keys rattling in his front door.

“Joe!” His best friends voice made his head hurt, even from downstairs. 

Walking as slowly as possible so not to jostle his stomach, he peeped round his door and croaked “Up here.”

His voice was shot after last night, throat burning from throwing up so much. 

“Rami” God he sounded pathetic,

“Can you bring me water.......please?”

“You okay?” Rami shouted; Joe heard the water run as he made his way back to bed before he keeled over. Closing his eyes he could distantly hear Rami moving around downstairs.

“Joe?” He peeped open one eye and saw Rami standing over him; beautifully dressed as always, concern etching his face. 

“You look awful Joey.” He handed him the water. Joe sat up gingerly and took a few sips; immediately regretting it as his stomach cramped up.

“Sorry......I........” he dashed into the bathroom again, pushing past Rami on the way. 

“You alright?........want me to come in?” Rami hovered by the bathroom door.

“No.....god no” Joe managed to get out. There was no way he wanted Rami of all people watching him throw up. 

While Joe hugged the toilet, Rami eyed his sheets suspiciously; he could tell Joe had slept fitfully. The duvet was twisted and the bottom sheet had come off the corner of the mattress. By the time Joe emerged from the bathroom, Rami had fresh, clean sheets on his bed and had put the others in a pile by the door. He’d put them in the wash later. 

“You didn’t have to do that.” Joe mumbled weakly, as he slipped between the fresh, cool sheets; sighing as he closed his eyes.

Rami’s hand pressed gently against his forehead, “You’re not burning up......do you think it’s something you ate?” He sat down on the edge of the bed, pulling at a loose thread on Joe’s grey duvet. 

“Dunno.......too sick to go today though.... I’m sorry.” Joe’s hand flapped around looking to squeeze Rami’s in his own. 

“You can’t be sick. You’re my partner in crime. What would Snafu have to say about this?” Rami smiled, grabbing his hand and squeezing softly. 

“Probably the same thing you just said” Joe replied weakly, he attempted a smile; which quickly turned into a grimace as his stomach cramped up again. 

“I’m gonna call Jas and go get you some medicine.....be right back.” Rami’s patted his hand as Joe drifted off to sleep again. 

Rami picked up the sheets by the door and headed downstairs. 

He pushed his disappointment at Joe being ill aside as he put the washing machine on.

The reunion for The Pacific cast was an annual event and this year was the first time Rami and Joe could actually attend together, their busy schedules meaning only one or other of them had been able to show up previously. Rami walked past Joe’s navy suit, hanging up on a hook in the hall. He would have looked damn good in that, Rami thought as he made his way outside. 

“Joe?” Rami squeezed Joe’s shoulder, attempting to rouse him, “I have some stuff you need to drink......don’t want you dehydrating.”

“Mmmmmmm” Joe rolled over, blinking blearily at Rami’s face. 

“You need to go...you ll be late....” 

“I think I should stay.....I’m worried about you.” Rami pushed Joe’s hair back from his forehead. 

“I’m gross Rami.......you probably don’t wanna touch me.......and you’re going.....they’re expecting you.” Joe managed to push himself into a sitting position, sighing heavily at the effort. 

“But what if you get worse?” Rami asked; hands on his hips.

“I ll call you....it’s only..what? A ten minute cab drive away?” 

“What if you collapse or something?” 

Joe took a tentative sip of his mug of rehydration salts, grimacing at the taste, “Then you’ll find me when you get back.”

“Joe that’s not funny.” 

“Rami, I’m gonna be sleeping......please go have lunch and just give my apologies okay. I ll be fine.” 

Rami huffed “Promise you won’t try and go downstairs or anything?” 

“I promise......and thank you....for this ...........delicious concoction.” Joe lifted his mug in gratitude, wrinkling his nose.

“Right well if you’re sure?” 

“I am”

Joe watched as Rami fussed with his blankets, making sure his phone and bottle of water was nearby, adding the tv remote control and a large bowl that that he pulled out from beside the bed. 

“Just in case” he said as he placed it beside Joe on the duvet.

Joe felt a warm, comforting feeling spread over his chest, the crampy, sick feeling in his stomach eased somewhat by the butterflies now erupting in there. This had been happening a lot recently, Joe choosing to ignore it; but today that seemed a lot harder to do. 

A few drinks in and talk turned to relationships; most of the guys were happily married, Rami being one of the only ones yet to settle down.

He checked his phone again as Martin rambled on about some house he was renovating; he couldn’t stop worrying about Joe and it seemed some of the others had noticed his detachment from the conversation. 

“Rami” Ashton patted his arm, “You ok?”

Putting down his phone, Rami sighed and leant back in his chair, taking a long pull of his beer. 

“Yeah......I’m worried about Joe....” 

“He’s a big boy...I’m sure he’s fine.”

“You didn’t see him.....he’s really sick. Maybe I should go?” He raised his eyebrows at Ashton, “Do you think I should?”

Ashton smiled as Brendan rolled his eyes next to him.

“Jesus Christ” he drawled and Rami was whisked back to Australia and Bill Leyden saying the same thing to Snafu’s new nickname for Sledge.

“What?” Rami felt all eyes on him as the table quietened.

“You have some patience man” Brendan continued “12 years is it? Go get your man and quit sitting here worrying about him.”

“What?” Rami said again. He knew he was flushed red and he also knew that what Brendan has said was true.

He pushed back from the table and headed to the bar.

“He’s right y’know.” Martin joined him at the bar, Rami’s second whiskey doing little to calm his nerves. How in fuck did everyone know? Did Joe? Fuck.

“Yeah well it’s not that simple is it? He’s my best friend.” Rami stared at the brown liquid in his tumblr “I can’t risk ruining it.”

“So you happy to carry on pretending? Think of what you might have if you take that risk. Joe’s not an asshole.......he‘ll .....he’ll be good to you no matter what.” Martin clapped him on the back and headed to the bathroom. 

He was right. Rami could have everything he’d ever wanted if he was just willing to risk everything he currently had. Knocking back his whiskey he cursed himself for coming and the boys confusing the hell out of him. He wished Joe was here. 

“Rami!” Ashton shouted from their table near the bar, “Your phones ringing!”

“It’s lover boy!” Brendan yelled and Rami’s stomach plummeted. Joe said he’d only call him if he felt worse, he needed to leave. 

Snatching his phone from Ashton he turned away from the table as he answered;

“Joey” the pet name slipping from his mouth unconsciously. He could hear Brendan snorting behind him and Martin and Ashton telling him to shut up. 

“What’s......what’s wrong? Are you ok? I can come back now...”

“Rami.....stop” Joe sounded exhausted, “I just woke up and I have a weird rash on my chest.”

Rami’s felt sick. A range of horrendous ailments entering his head at Joe’s words. 

“Is your neck sore?” 

“What? No..... why?”

“Meningitis” Rami rambled on “I’m gonna call Jas. Please don’t get up Joey....please.....just wait.”

“Okay” Joe whispered, slightly concerned himself over the level of Rami’s worry. 

Rami sat down heavily into his chair. The boys eyes all immediately focused on his pale face. 

It was Brendan that unsurprisingly broke the silence, but speaking softly and somewhat uncharacteristically.

“Is he ok?” 

Rami’s phone pinged on the table top, as a message came through. Joe had sent a picture of the rash on his chest - Send this to Jas. Might help. X

Ashton’s brow furrowed at the picture.

“Go see if he’s ok please.....I’m worried now.”

Rami nodded “Please can we do this again.... before next year?” 

They all nodded, murmuring agreements and adding “with Joe as well.”

“Im gonna head off then…..Joe....he....yeah.” Rami trailed off.

Martin grabbed his wrist from across the table

“Tell him Rami.”

“But what if he doesn’t feel the same?”

“Oh I honestly don’t think that will be a problem�� smiled Ashton. 

Rami crept quietly up the staircase, not wanting to wake Joe from much needed sleep. His bedroom door was open and Rami could see Joe bundled under his duvet through the now dim light of the evening. 

Jas has said he needed to be cooled down to get rid of the heat rash, so Rami tiptoed quietly to the bathroom; leaving another cup of rehydration salts on Joe’s bedside locker. 

After wetting a washcloth with cool water, and wringing it out, Rami padded over to Joe kneeling down next to the bed and peeling back the covers. 

Rami’s stomach flipped at the sight of Joe sleeping, soft and peaceful. When had this started? When had things changed? Rami wracked his memory. Could you fall in love with someone over the space of 12 years and not realise? He stared at Joe’s sleeping face; he was so handsome, and Rami was taken aback by just how attracted to him he was. Rami smiled to himself, maybe he should take a chance? Joe was everything to him, and Rami was now realising he wanted him to be even more. 

“Stop staring at me” Joe’s croaky voice startled Rami into action. 

“Sorry.....I.....Jas said you need to cool down...you have a rash cos you’re sweaty. Here.” Rami showed him the folded wash cloth and Joe turned onto his back.

Joe shivered as Rami pulled down the duvet off Joe’s heated chest and placed the washcloth on his forehead. 

“Okay?.......there’s more salts for you to take there...” Rami pointed to the bedside locker. 

“Oooh yum...” Joe said sarcastically, rolling his eyes and grinning at Rami.

“How you feeling?” 

“Groggy....but my stomach isn’t crampy now....so hopefully I can actually sleep tonight.” Joe peered at Rami from under the washcloth. 

“Will you stay?........I hate to ask.....but....but..”

“Joe......you don’t have to ask....of course I will....”

“Thank you.....oh! how was lunch?”

Rami sat up against the headboard in Joe’s huge bed and filled him in on all the news from their cast mates, answering Joe’s questions but leaving out one very specific conversation. 

“They all send their love....hope you feel better soon.”

“Ashton text me actually....” Joe turned on his side “Said you left early.”

Rami couldn’t look at Joe, he felt his pulse race as he stared out the window at the darkening sky. 

“Rami......” Joe’s hand found his and he squeezed gently.

“You’ve always been so good to me...........too good to me......I.......I......thank you.” Joe sat up. He grimaced as his head pounded at the change of position, but crossed his legs and sat facing Rami.

“Joe.....lie down...” 

“Why did you come back early?” 

Rami searched Joe’s face for any sign that he was messing around. He knew Joe well enough by now to recognise a lift on one side of his mouth that always gave him away. It wasn’t there, his face was soft, open, and as gorgeous as Rami has ever seen it; even with his sickly pallor and bed head. 

“I think you know why” Rami murmured.

“I think I know too......but I’ve been really wrong about things like this in the past so......”

Rami winced, Joe had never had much luck dating. Rami had always been there to pick up the pieces with him. 

“Joe” Rami wanted, he wanted so badly to pull Joe into his lap. 

“You have no idea how much I wanna kiss you right now.”

Joe grinned, his whole face lighting up as Rami ran his hand up his arm; leaving goosebumps in his wake.

“Give me 12 hours and I’m all yours” he murmured as he pulled Rami into a hug. 

“Thank you for today......but.....can you sleep in the spare room because I honestly don’t think I’d be able to keep my hands off you if you’re......in here......”

Joe pulled reluctantly away from Rami’s arms, realisation dawning on what he’d just said. 

“Uuuh I mean.....I don’t wanna make you sick” he stared at the sheets below him, flexing his long toes.

Joe woke early the next morning , the rain pounding against his window. Stretching, he assessed himself for any stomach or headache and found that he felt much better, not one hundred percent. But better. 

Running his hands over his face as he yawned, he sat bolt upright in bed as he remembered who was currently in his spare room and the conversation they’d had.  His body moved without him thinking as he headed to the shower and to brush his teeth. 

As the hot water pounded against his back, he let himself imagine what might possibly happen today.  He’d always loved Rami; but had made himself believe they were just really close friends. He never really thought Rami felt the same though, and Joe wasn’t gonna jeopardise their incredible friendship by telling Rami how he felt. 

Turns out most of their cast mates on The Pacific could see it a mile away. They were both idiots really; all the heartache they could have saved each other. Although Joe laughed to himself as he remembered that anytime either of them had split with someone, they’d immediately gone to each other for comfort. 

It had been obvious to everyone, except them.

Joe knocked quietly on the door to the spare room; it was early and Rami liked to lie in at the weekend, but when Joe pushed open the door he found Rami standing at the window in his boxers. His mouth immediately went dry. 

“Uuuuhhmmmm morning...” Joe croaked.

Rami grinned. “You feeling better?” He asked as Joe moved into the room. His bare toes dug into the soft grey carpet, as his heart beat erratically in his chest.

“Yeah....I am....”

“Thank God” Rami interrupted him as he made his way over to Joe and took his hands in his own. 

“I’ve waited twelve years to do this......I can’t wait any longer.”

“Rami...” Joe whispered as their lips met and they finally fell into each other. 

“Breakfast?…..you feel like you could eat something?” Rami couldn’t stop touching Joe; any part of his body, it was like he’d been starved of it. His fingers were currently skimming the waistband of Joe’s sweatpants where they hung low on his hips. 

Joe’s head was pillowed on Rami’s chest, listening to his heartbeat. 

“I could eat you?” Joe smiled into Rami’s bare chest, breathing in his scent and nibbling at his nipple. 

“Hey!” Rami pushed him away, then pulled his face to his, both hands on his cheeks. 

“I want .........god I want you so bad” he pushed his hardening cock against Joe’s thigh, shivering at Joe’s answering moan. 

“But when you have your strength back......Jas said....”

“Wait....you asked your sister when we could have sex?” Joe began to laugh “Oh my god......” 

“No! Joe c’mon.....you know what I mean......” Rami pushed his erection against Joe again,

whispering in his ear “Just think about how good it will be.....”

Joe flopped onto his back groaning, “I’m gonna need another shower” he added as he pressed down on the bulge in his sweatpants. 

Joe didn’t ever think he’d been this sexually frustrated in his life. He’d had a semi all day, Rami only had to look at him and he wanted to bend him over the back of the couch. It was like his cock had now been given permission to  react to Rami. They’d spent all their spare time together the last few years, and he’d never had this problem. His cock was like a dog being finally let off a leash. 

Rami sat in his boxers and a t-shirt, Joe’s head in his lap as they watched a cooking show. Joe was snoring softly, his warm breath tickling Rami’s thighs. He ran his fingers through Joe’s soft hair, smiling at what today had brought.

Pulling out his phone he snapped a pic of his hand resting in Joe’s hair as he slept soundly on his lap. 

He sent it to Joe’s phone with the caption:

 “I’ve always loved you.” 

[descendantofthesparrow]

Daughter of the honorable thief – Harry Hook x reader – part 2

Harry Hook x Daughter of Robin Hood!Reader

key

h/c- hair color

e/c- eye color

h/l- hair length

s/c- skin color

y/n- your name

clothing reference:

—Harry—

Harry sighed as he entered the cafeteria, he quickly surveyed the room, taking note of where his sister and friends were sitting, noticing that Gil was missing from the group, shrugging it off, Gil was probably just getting out of literature class and that was quite a ways away from the cafeteria.

Harry crossed the room to the lunch line, and grabbed a tray, quickly loading it with corndogs, grapes, strawberries, Doritos, chocolate pudding, and root beer. Shuffling out of line, he quickly made his way over to his crew, wincing as he sat down, the pain killers did nothing to help with the soreness.

Uma frowned at the sound and gave him a look ‘do you want me to do something about it?’ Harry shook his head, he didn’t want Uma to get in trouble for using her magic…even though she couldn’t technically get in trouble for it, just because she was fairly new and a vk, people would accuse her of evil and try to send her back.

Harry huffed and started to eat, before Evie ran in she quickly scanned the hall, before spotting them and rushing over, “Harry! Uma!!”

The two turned and looked, surprised, Evie never sought them out unless to dress them in her new outfits, but this evie didn’t look excited, just scared and worried.

“what is it blue?” Uma grumbled, raising her brow, evie skid to a stop, panting slightly before blurting;

“Gils been cornered by some jocks and he’s outnumbered!” Harry bolted up, ignoring the screaming of his head and limbs, “where?!” Harry rushed past her, hearing her turn and follow him, “east hall! Last I saw they had him pinned!”

Harry quickly made his way to the east hall, as he arrived, he saw gil being pinned with his arm pinned to his back, Gils shouts of pain as it was twisted and the boys laughed as they jeered at Gil.

“come on say it~!! Unless you want your arm broken~!”

“u-uncle!!”

“Im sorry! I didn’t hear you~!”

“Gah!!”

Harry had enough, red encased his vision, to hell with the ‘vks cant fight’ rule, Gil was worth being sent back over.

Harry bolted forward, slamming his shoulder into the one pinning Gil, planting himself between them, raising his fists and sneering.

“oh look whos here~!”

Heric, son of Hercules, smirked, sending his fist towards Harry’s face, Harry quickly stepped right and Gil spurred forward, catching Heric’s jaw with his fist and sending him to the ground. 1 down, 5 to go.

Miliana, Tinkerbell’s daughter, squeaked as Calvin tried to trip up Harry and twist his ankle, she had once been terrified of the son of Hook, but he had shown her that just because he shared the name, did not mean he was his father, now the Scottish boy acted as an adopted brother.

Miliana squeezed her eyes shut as Harry dodged him, but was punched in the gut by Cory, son of cubby, and keeled over, but quickly regaining balance and socking him the nose, blood spurting from Cory’s face, tears filling his eyes.

Miliana turned to ally, daughter of Alice, and muttered; “let’s go get fairy godmother, this is going too far”

Alice nodded, turned tail and bolted for FG’s office, Miliana quickly patted her cousin’s shoulder. Patton, Periwinkle son, turned and rose his brow, Miliana gestured to the brawl, and he nodded, shedding his jacket and ramming into Calvin, slamming him to the ground.

Quickly turning, Patton placed himself behind Harry and Gil, creating a triangle. Nathanial, son of Nibs, snarled and socked Harry’s cheek, cutting his skin with the auradon ring all Auradon boys wear (as far as I know, every single scene with any Auradon boy has that golden ring).

Harry growled and twisted his hips, swinging his leg into the red-haired boy’s side, hitting his kidneys. Nathanial hissed and kneeled over, holding his waist, before Harry right hooked him, his rings breaking the boy’s skin, sending him tumbling down to the ground.

Calvin, recovered from his fall, grabbed Timothy and Gavin, sons of the raccoon twins (as far as I know they don’t have names, they just call themselves the twins), and the three rushed harry and slammed him against the wall, Harry grunted from the force of the slam, internally wincing from his head screaming in pain and begging for him to stop and rest.

Calvin brought his fist back and swung it forward, sending it in Harry’s stomach, Harry’s body tried to bend forward but the two boys kept him pinned against the wall, not letting the shock wave of the pain diffuse.

Calvin smirked and brought his fist back, Harrys eyes winded and he knew he had no leverage he had two fully pinning him and a third holding him down with one hand, Gil and Patton were occupied with the others he didn’t have an out, he closed his eyes and waited for an impact.

“WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!”

Harry was released suddenly and he let out a pained groan and slid down, cracking open his eyes, he saw Gil rush to his side and kneel down next to him, worry in his eyes. Harry waved him off and slowly stood to his feet.

He could hear the boys try to place the blame on him and Gil, saying that they were just walking to the cafeteria and the two ambushed them, they demanded the two be sent back to the isle, Harry and Gil froze, neither of them wanting to go back to the place where their parents could use them like puppets.

But FG just frowned and held her hand up, prevented the boys from speaking any further.

She turned to harry and Gil, raising her brow; “boys? Would you please tell me your side of the story?”

Harry recounted that Evie had rushed into the cafeteria and had told him that gil had been cornered and Heric was about to break his arm when he got there.

Heric, now awoken from his blackout after Gil got his jaw, tried to rebuttal the claim, but Miliana quickly spoke up and backed up Gil’s claim.

FG turned to Evie and raised her brow, Evie nodded and confirming that the boys had started it with attacking Gil, and Harry and Gil had just used self-defense.

“Alight, Children!” she clapped her hands together, a soft spark of blue smoke emitting from them for second, before she spoke once more, her voice louder than it was a few moments ago “this is an official announcement, if attacked or provoked, the villain children are permitted to fight back, with the highest consequence being detention. Those who attacked them will be suspended, or at the most extreme, expelled. That is all.”

FG nodded and gestured for the boys to follow her, before turning to Harry and Gil, “have Uma heal those injuries up, they look nasty”

They nodded, slightly surprised at the suggestion of Uma using her magic to heal them, and quickly made their way back to the cafeteria, stopping when they say (y/n) sitting with Uma and Harriet, Ginning and laughing.

Harry and Gil shared a glance before shrugging and walking over to the three girls. Uma and Harriet glanced up and paled, both jumping up and rushing over to them, Uma cupping Gil’s face and Harriet tittered over Harry like a worried mother hen.

“holy shit you two! What happened?!” Harry winced as Harriet prodded his cheek, blood leaking out from the broken skin.

“some gakit cunts cornered Gil and I had ta go in and help em out”

Umas eyes widened in fear, “you dolts!! You’re gonna get sent back for fight-“ Harry slapped his hand over Umas mouth, chuckling softly, “don’t worry Uma, FG announced that the VK’s are allowed teh fight back when provoked, ya know, self-defense”

Uma breathed a sigh of relief, good, now they couldn’t get in trouble for protecting themselves.

Uma started to push them out the cafeteria to the nurse’s office. “well come on you idiots, get to the nurse’s office to get those-“ Harry once again interrupted Uma, “FG said ye could heal us up, ya know…with yer magic~!’

Uma stopped, Fairy Godmother….suggested magic?! Uma shook the weirdness away, she had her boys to worry about.

Uma focused and clutched her necklace, her eyes glowing turquoise.

“by the power of the sea, heal all your injuries”

Teal smoke shadowed Harry and Gils cuts and bruises and they disappeared in a wisp. Harry’s head moaned in relief for the spell had also healed his head injury.

Harry plopped down next to (y/n) who had resumed a conversation with Uma and Harriet. “so (y/n)” Harry called, (y/n) paused and turned to him, raising her brow “what made ye come over teh our table?”

The (h/c) girl sighed and took off her cap, ruffling her hair. “ the preppy spoiled brats here don’t like the way I dress, im not preppy enough for them, nor do I dress like pastel preppy princess. So they make sure I never have room to sit with anyone, I saw Uma and Harriet sitting here and I thought ‘hey they might let me sit’ and they did so here I am!”

Harry snorted, seriously? Wow for the children of ‘heroes’ they sure were judgy and harsh. Harry smirked “well yer welcome teh sit with any of us when ye want, ye seem more someone wed like hanging out with”

(y/n) grinned, plopping her hat back on her head and turning back to her food, starting to dig into her (favorite lunch) before a disgusted snort came from behind them

“Ew! (y/n)?! what are you doing with these…boorish pirates?!” Ariana, the cousin of Audrey, stood behind them, dressed in pastel blue with pink highlights, her honey blond hair in an intricate braid, disgust clear on her face.

“ugh, come along, let’s get you to some more…civilized company” Harry, Uma, gil, and Harriet made a face, offended at her tone and words, but Ariana ignored them and tried to grasp (y/n)’s wrist and pull her away, but (y/n) burst out laughing before she could.

“pftt HAHAHA!!” tears streamed down (y/n)’s face, she gasped for air, holding her stomach.

“Oh~ that’s rich~! You seem to be under the impression that I actually give a fuck~!”

Ariana balanced and gasped, spitting her words, trying to convince (y/n) to come with her and be perfect.

“but they’re thieves!!! They-“

“stop right there princess” you growled out, voice and face dark, standing up to her full height, glaring at the princess. Ariana paled and squeaked.

“you seem to forget who my father is, Robin Hood, king of the thieves. So that’s means im a thief too,” (y/n) gave a dark shit-eating grin and spoke in a quiet voice where only Ariana and the four pirates could hear her.

“if you insult them you insult me, fair warning you spoiled brat, I don’t hold back, especially with entitled assholes who think they own the world, now get lost” Ariana nodded and bolted, her heels sounded on the floor as she hysterically ran off.

(y/n) took a deep breath, calming herself, before sitting back down and resumed eating her food, before she looked up, seeing the four pirates staring at her in shock and awe, “wha?”

Uma shook her head, “nothing, just never seen an Auradon kid act like that” once more (y/n) burst out in laughter, quickly calming herself, grinning at them, sipping her (fav soda/drink).

“well I ain’t exactly an Auradon kid, after all, my dad was almost sent to the isle”

Gil gasped and leaned forward, eager to hear why “really?! Why?”

(y/n) snorted, a slight grim look in her eyes, “my dad is one to look out for the little guy ya know? Steal from the corrupt rich and give to the poor. Ya know all that stuff, but he tried to steal the crown jewels, to sell it and give to those who were still in a funk.” (y/n) shrugged, but her eyes were still grim, Uma whistled, a grin forming on her face.

“wow, never thought id hear of an honorable thief before now, but I did!”

(y/n) giggled, the grim look leaving her eyes, looking down at her food with a smile, before reaching into her pocket and withdrawing

…

Ariana’s wallet.

“do you think she’s gonna miss this~?”

The four pirates stared at (y/n) in shock, their jaws dropping, holy shit.

“what?” (y/n) snickered, waving around the blue diamond crested wallet, leaning on her hand and smirking.

“Just because we’re in Auradon, doesn’t mean I’ll be goody two shoes~”

—end of part 2—

Comment or message me for part 3

[foegold]

people be wanting to know about a lil blue bastard. this ones long as hell so its under the cut jsdhfg

Your character wasn’t an adventurer, what livelihood would they lead?

farmer! he’d just keep living the way he’d been living. it’s the sort of life he imagines he’ll return to one day, after he’s seen and done enough. ‘enough’ is a really arbitrary end goal though

Who in the party would your character trust the most with their life?

who in the party wouldn’t he trust with his life tbh. in the most literal sense he’d trust Eli with it just because he knows Eli can bring him back from dying in some stupid and ill-advised way

What are your character’s core moral beliefs?

frogs are good, try to be nice to people but if they’re mean to you first then at least a few bets are off, the rich should probably be eaten. killing is sometimes necessary but maybe try some other stuff first

What relationship does your character have with their parents and siblings?

he doesn’t have any siblings, and his relationship with his mom and recently present dad is. a little weird, and not all the way comfortable, and not like really bad, but just confusing? it’s confusing. at least he’s had more transparency from his mom recently than just about any other time. it’s a start

Does your character have any biases for or against certain races?

he trusts other tieflings a little quicker than other races but its not really saying much because he’s not smart and if you’re good at talking and sound like you know what you’re talking about he’ll just believe you. he doesn’t have the good sense to second think it without prompting

What is your character’s opinion on nobility? On authority?

so far just about every interaction with nobility has been messy or bad or scary or all three so right now the opinion is “not great”. also thats just too much money. whaddahell would you do with that much money.  he’s generally uneasy with authority figures at best, and flat out paralyzed by them at worst. he’s easy to bully when he doesn’t have anyone backing him up and he knows and hates it

Describe your character’s current appearance: clothes, armor, scars they’ve picked up along the journey, etc.

he cycles through an assortment of sweaters but the one he wears the most is the heart sweater he got in Wunjo that’s been altered a few times in the last few months. he do keep collecting those scars tho, before starting adventuring he had a handful of minor scars just from working around the farm with the animals and the equipment and from romping around in the country. now he’s got all sorts, but the most prominent ones are: the thin scar on the left side of his face, starting just below the eyebrow and curving gently below his eye (the last time Leo would leave a mark on him); the twisted angry scars across his torso from being mauled by a giant undead horse(?); and the fluid, patterned necromancy scars slowly spreading across his back, creeping along inch by inch

What location encountered in the campaign has your character felt the most “at home” in, or just generally liked the most?

besides his own house, Roman’s house has been the nicest! its warm and theres soup and friends there. there was a run down little ranch house somewhere at some point, but he’s not so sure anymore that he didn’t just dream about fixing the place up with his best friend

What deity, if any, does your character worship? What’s their opinion on other people’s worship?

he doesn’t have a god he actively worships, but he’s peripherally aware of the god in the mountains that’s responsible for some of the most brutal storms in the region. he doesn’t care much about religion but hes got the same amount of concern most people would have about evil deities and what their followers do

If your character had time to pick up any artisan’s tools, game set, instrument, etc., what would it be?

probably woodworking! its handy, it’s useful for living out in the country where you have to either make the tools or furniture or fun items to put on a shelf you want, or go out of your way and also spend money to get them. maybe an actual alchemy set and/or poison kit but 1) playing with poison just a fun hobby for him and Xan to get into when they have the time and the plants for it, and 2) man he wouldnt follow the instruction manual anyway so whats the point

What aspect of your character’s future are they most curious about? (If they could know one thing about the future, what would it be?)

will his friends be okay? will he be okay? is there an FAQ for tieflings learning that they’re much closer to fiend lineage than they originally thought? that would be convenient and helpful. is john gonna figure out more about the little men named ‘adam’ that’re allegedly everywhere?  if he could know one thing about the future, he’d like to know if everything will end out okay. if things will turn out as nice as he’d like them to.

What colors are associated with your character?

looks at the camera like im on the office

blue, white, and black are the big ones but im trying to pepper in a few other colors. reds and yellows are a close second

Who in the party would your character prioritize rescuing, in dire circumstances?

everyone sits squarely in the #1 spot on the rescue list

that aside john and roman are extremely high priority, they’re not the sturdiest and if something looked at them too hard they might keel over. baster and xan come next, he knows baster’s a shit brick house but he keeps seeing bad things happen to her and really hes just had Enough of it. eli’s a little lower priority because they can heal themselves if they’re in a tight spot, and then blu considers himself least concern. he knows he can get thrashed around some and still survive, he’d rather take a beating and know he’ll walk out of it than let someone else take it and wind up dead

Is your character the most swayed by ethos, pathos, or logos?

pathos, it’s easy to make him feel for u. legit any of them work though as long as you talk it up good enough he’ll believe you and if there aren’t any glaring conflicts between what you’re selling him and his base morals then it’s relatively easy to get him on board

If your character was granted a single use of Wish, what would they use it for?

idk probably something really simple that he put all of .5 of a second of thought into. hes not smart and doesnt have good foresight so he’d probably ask for a frog or smth unless there was something very much more pressing and present

What is your character’s favorite spell? If they don’t use spells: what is their favorite personal weapon/combat maneuver/skill/etc.?

favorite(?) spell is life transference. it hurts a bit but it keeps his friends safe so it’s worth it. invisibility is up there too, its fun and easy to steal from stores when ur not visible

How does your character feel about keeping secrets from the rest of the party?

he doesn’t like lying and also lies really poorly. he’s usually just honest from the get-go, its easier and feels better. if he has to lie its through omission, bold faced lies really just dont work

What type of creature in the world is your character the most intrigued by?

all sorts....bro the world is full of animals and lots of them like to be pet

When they were a child, what did your character want to be, or think they were going to be, when they grew up?

he thought he’d grow up and be a farmer like his mom, the adventuring thing was extremely unplanned and impromptu. he hoped he could be a kind and brave person though, the way Canna described his dad.

The player character to your left admits that they’re passionately in love with your character. How would your character respond?

random roll says it’s Roman, he’d probably laugh because the only reason that would happen is because the party is fooling around with potions again. Roman’s very married and very in love with his husband and makes sure everyone knows it all the time

If somebody (an NPC, someone from their backstory, etc.) your character trusts/loves asked your character to do something against the party’s best interest, who would they side with?

that doesn’t seem like a very viable circumstance, the only npc thats important enough that he’d listen to for something like that is his mom and she actively encourages him to take care of himself and his friends, and lets him make his own decisions about what he’s doing with his life, so

What unusual talents does your character possess?

idk if its all that unusual of a talent but he got really good at stealing and pickpocketing and he can do a sick flip. also does some black magic sometimes

What does your character’s name represent to them? (Or: why as a player did you choose your character’s name?)

it’s his name, u kno. bluebell is his middle name, but Canna called him bluebell growing up and he latched onto it a lot more than arden, and he thinks its a nice name, and a nice flower, and it sure would be nice if people would stop laughing when he introduces himself as “Blu”,

(blu was originally a stand-in name until i named him something else but it really grew on me and it fit him so! it didnt change, he just got other names too)

What major arcana tarot card best represents your character?

The Moon. 👀

What is your character’s relationship with magic? Are they scared of it, wish to know more about it, indifferent to it?

he’s def scared of magic sometimes, especially his own. he also really wants to understand it better though, and be less scared, or at least control it better. imo it’s a healthy fear, theres been lots of magic mishaps 

How did your character learn the languages that they speak?

he learned common and infernal from mom! and he’s learning draconic from xan. it’s a nice downtime activity, sit down with ur best friend and homie and learn a new language just for fun

[patchdotexe]

explorers of arvus: 8.27.18

anyway i forgot what we did. was last session us doing the dead grove? oh yeah i think we like, did a pit stop in welna after SAVING THE WORLD. 

basically taure got in a fight w/ the campaign antag, sieron got reaffirmed as the protagonist, charlie blew shit up, and then chego transmuted soup x100 

hhjgsdkj got derailed before the session even started bc solar has screenshots of summer saying "KJ! HAS! FUCKED!"

they also have a screenshot of summer saying "it's for the greater good! of me. its for the greater me" but sier display name is KJ Fucks and i really hope its still not that when i do the rabbit tomorrow

im actually gonna take a moment to read the last d&d thread hgxdfkhgfdlkgdlfk 

1) oh wow no wonder i couldnt remember, its been a month 2) there's a tweet that says "I SENT THE CALL STRAIGHT TO HELL" AND I WISH I COULD REMEMBER WHAT THE FUCK I DID 

[everyone starts going "hewwo?"] 

michael: so you know how the oracle shit happened a year ago? hex: WHAT (solar: i wasnt there! :D hex: YOU SURE WERENT, IT WAS A YEAR AGO) michael: yeah its been only 15 days ingame 

solar: ill horf snarf my ramen as quickly as possible-- hex: dont die! solar: DONT DIE?! hex: dont die! solar: i wont! hex: guess aile'll die! 

charlie has known most of the party for an in-game month and she is fucking ride or ride. RIDE OR DIE 

[walks back in to call] michael: ...the average human has probably not fucked paraphrased bc im LOSING MY MIND 

i linked this thread to gill bc michael isnt letting her spectate the session again and i could hear her muffledly giggling

hex: sieron has balls [immediately regrets saying it] solar: sieron has big dick energy jorb: [SOUNDS LIKE HE JUST DIED] 

penn: im pawty tweasuwew~! hex: you are! you're fucking kawaii! 

hex: im 3 feet tall and weigh as much as a toaster! michael: did you just say you're TWENTY feet tall?! hex: NO!!!!!!!! 

michael: behold the bizarrity of a hexagonal world! penn: thanks i hate it hex "hexagon aesthetic" hexagonest: [cracking up quietly] 

penn: we're going to tevarin! who's driving? it's me-- SHIT michael: "we're going to tevarin! who's driving?" taure says, from the driver's seat 

charlie: thorne! name your fucking horse! thorne: [sounding afraid and british] i- i dont know how to ride a horse! 

i love hearing gill and michael arguing in the bg 

[charlie dabs for no reason] 

thorne is having a Good Time 

thorne lived in the feywild for like their entire goddamn life so they are having a good-ass time being in a material plane also solar rolled a nat20 perception 

we're riding back to artevon so we passed the ettin from the Ettin Fight so i got to fill solar in on what happened and taure got to roll deception to pretend she's not upset :,) 

i think gill is Constantly sassing michael the entire time and i can only hear bits and pieces but omg 

michael: [explaining] thorne is from the emerald dream. solar: thorne is from bullshit land, where everything is bullshit hex: so, the emerald dream penn: i think EVERYONE is from bullshit land 

charlie rolls athletics to hold her giant fucking dog 

justin is big enough for charlie to RIDE but thats bc charlie is 3 feet tall 

oh my god i forgot tevarin is where taure did the magic weed thing. we're in tevarin rn 

charlie is banned from All Libraries 

thorne: i really dont mind either way. [silence] charlie: swag. 

thorne: who... IS the oracle, exactly? taure: hes a cool dude. charlie: he stuck me and sieron in a horrible teleporting loop. 

time to bother the oracle again! 

[everyone discovers the oracle shop is abandoned] taure: ... [leans down to charlie] can you pick the lock? charlie: "can i pick the lock", she asks. >:D 

GRYPHON!! RETURN OF BABY GRYPHON!!!!!! 

we forgot their name so now theyre Bimble 

gryphons are Monstrosities 

i think we stole bimble 

charlie, very casually to a shopkeep: taure got some weed once. 

penn: is there anywhere i can get a book on gryphons? hex: is there a library here? penn: oh no hex: CHARLIE'S NOT GOING IN THERE 

penn: open up a nice cold.. glass of bepis

taure: i dont get this magic mumbo jumbo. charlie: me neither, and i FART magic! ..thats what wild magic surges are, i just fuckin fart magic

[thorne clips into Mystery Magic Orb] 

michael: thorne closes his eyes, and hears a very quiet... pppbbbbbbt.... as bimble farts. hex: [KEELS OVER IRL LAUGHING] penn: bottle that shit, we can sell it on ebay! I DONT MAKE JOKES. I DONT MAKE JOKES. I DONT MAKE JOKES 

the party spends like 10 minutes bothering an Invisible Orb 

jorb: are you saying that orcs just naturally have a british accent?! 

i dont care what michael says, orcs are british now 

michael: [...] some lovely fowl, some steaming potatoes... hex: screaming!? michael: STEAMING, the potatoes do not scream solar & penn: [SCREAM]

michael: plot twist: you take bimble across and the horses eat kaepora. 

penn: friendly reminder: taure would die for charlie hex: charlie would die for her too. michael: they will. penn: yaaaAAAAaayyy 

[discussing if sieron is swole] michael: the real question is... is sieron thicc. [everyone has a fear response] michael: do he got the booty? [michael is forcibly removed from call] 

[michael and penn arguing over michigan being shaped like a hand] 

"i presto the SHIT out of everything." 

"i presto the SHIT out of taure" 

penn: that or, you could just tell me hex: NO 

taure: did i get it? solar: ...did she get it? michael: did you get it? 

taure got some blood on her face (bimble decided to be Extremely Cat with gift of dead mouse) and Comedy Ensues 

"i think taure IS a serial killer" 

[everyone discussing what to do about an ambush] charlie: [sticks head out of wagon grinning] i enjoy killing people! [rolls a 22 on intimidation] THE ENTIRE ENCOUNTER: [SCARED SHITLESS] [LEAVES] 

reminder: charlie is 3 feet tall, very adorable, and EXTREMELY DANGEROUS 

jorb: we killed their hopes. hex: that's why we're the Hope's Guard! --wait michael: you killed their clean underwear. jorb: UNDERWEAR: SLAIN 

we're all trying to explain Big Dick Energy to gill 

big michael energy

[pinkanonwrites]

oh man okay you don’t have to do anything with it but what about someone who got in an accident and had part/all of their soulmark removed as part of an amputation like what would even happen??? if you did something with it maybe Kirishima? or Sero?? or Bakugo??? or literally anyone lmao

oooooooooooooooh am I down to do this. Im gonna do Sero cause I love him and I havent written for him in a long time (there arent enough good sero gifs but this ones pretty cute)

Sero Hanta + Soulmark AU + Missing Mark

You lost your leg when you were 5 years old.

Not that most people knew that. You had a decent prosthetic and spent most of your time at school in jumpsuits or knee-high socks, and it wasn’t really anything you brought up in casual conversation anyway. Being in Support meant you had plenty of time to tinker and experiment with new designs too, so you had high hopes that one day you’d be able to design something advanced enough that even your limp would no longer be an issue.

But until then, you had a prosthetic leg. And sometimes those can really hurt.

You had been curled over yourself in a chair, rubbing the cramping muscles of your knee when someone from the Hero course walked in. He was tall and lanky with a mess of long dark hair, and he looked concerned at you hunched over in pain. Somewhere in the back of your mind you remembered the clipboard that had your costume adjustments scheduled for the day scribbled across it.

4:15 PM - Hanta Sero

Ah, your appointment.

“Are you okay?” He asked, hovering anxiously over you.

“Fine.” You hissed through gritted teeth, though the surge of pain that shot through you after you spoke nearly keeled you over. “Okay, not fine. Definitely not fine.”

���Can I help?”

“Yeah, just��� Just give me a minute.” Once the pulsing pain receded enough for you to sit up you gave him a shaky smile. Sero didn’t seem too convinced, but he gave you one in return. His smile was nice. You rolled up the leg of your jumpsuit, and much to your appreciation, he didn’t gawk or pointedly look away. Instead he settled himself on the floor by your leg, patiently awaiting your instruction.

“There’s a pin at my ankle. Push that. It’ll click, then the leg will come off.” He cupped your prosthetic just below where it met your body and pushed the pin with his other hand, sliding it off and setting it down gently. You let out a punched-out wheeze as your fingers finally dug into the base of your stump where the muscle was cramping relentlessly. “God, that’s good. Thank you.”

“No problem!” That smile again. Almost blinding.

“And uh… Thanks. For not making it weird.”

‘Hey, dude.” He shrugged, “I don’t know your life. If it’s not a problem, it’s not a problem.”

“Heh, thanks. Hey, grab me that clipboard over there and I can talk you through your costume upgrades.”

Sero stood up, moving over to your workbench in large strides. His hand outstretched to grab the clipboard, but… then he froze. For a while.

“You okay?” You called, then cheekily added, “You didn’t suddenly decide to make it weird, did you?”

“No, um…” He turned back to you, a light flush to his cheeks. Then he held up his hand, where his palm was glowing in an array of twisting colors. “I uh, think you might be my soulmate.”

…

“That-that’s not possible.” You stammered. “I don’t have one. I don’t have a soulmark.”

“Well it wasn’t glowing before I came in here!”

“Well, then maybe your soulmark is messed up! You didn’t even touch me, anyway. You only touched…” You trailed off, staring down at your prosthetic where it lay on the floor. “…my leg.”

“Does it even work like that?” He asked, you didn’t answer, both hands cupped over your mouth as a tidal wave of emotions came crashing down on you at once. Sero seemed to notice your internal struggle because he was kneeling beside you in a flash, carefully pulling your hands away from your mouth so you could breathe.

“Hey, hey. Don’t freak out.” His voice was remarkably calm, but then again, he wasn’t the one who just realized he actually had a soulmate. “You’re okay.”

“I have a soulmate.” you gasped. He nodded. “You’re my soulmate.” He nodded again. You looked up at him in awe, through eyes just barely glistening with unshed tears, and Sero’s heart skipped a beat. “You’re my soulmate.”

He smiled again, that brilliant, goofy, blinding smile, and you knew in that exact moment that the two of you were going to be just fine.

[angstalottle]

Lana On The Case

Part 1:

The year is 1949 and the war has been won and over for little more than a year now.

Lana McClain has spent much of the past five years away from her home village in the countryside working in the big city despite the protests of her mother and her warnings of bombs.

But still she toughed it out and did her part for the war effort, something that now that she was returning home left her quite bored and longing for something new.

Perhaps that was why she was dreading returning home so much?

A small village in the north of England with a population of only 200 people spread out across the many corn and wheat fields that surrounded the hand full of buildings and shops.

There was only one rail way station manned only by an older gentleman that even during rationing always seemed to have a lolly pop ready to offer to a hungry evacuated child.

This is where Lana currently sat, half melted into the old wooden bench fanning herself with a train schedule and doing her very best to keep as much distance between the sweltering men that she was unfortunately stuck between.

Despite it still only being early spring the weather had been gradually growing hotter by the day until it reached its peak on today of all days when Lana had to wait around in the boiling sun for her best friend to come pick her up on her way home from work.

The man to her left, a slim fellow with dark hair and a full beard that must have been making him all the hotter, he had long since discarded his suit jacket, leaving it over the top of his luggage.

His face was bright red and looked to be suffering from the heat, Lana was about to offer him the use of her makeshift fan when with shaking hands he produced a bottle of water which he quickly opened and removed the plastic film over the top. After looking round for a moment and clearly deciding the effort to get up and place the film in the closest bin he instead tucked inside the bottle cap and took a long drink.

“Mind sharing?” The man to Lana’s right questioned holding his hand out expectantly and was wordlessly handed the water with only a nod of approval.

“Cheers” he muttered taking a small swig before handing it to Lana “here lass ya only a wee thing drink up while ya can” His scottish accent was almost as thick as the stench of cigarettes coming off his well tailored clothes.

Lana smiled subtle wiping at the rim before she troo took a drink and then handed it back to the poor man it actually belonged to “Thanks.”

Again the man only nodded holding the little water left closely as he replaced the lid and swirled the liquid round impatiently.

Lana couldn't blame him for such an attitude, after all they had been sitting in an awkward silence for the last twenty minutes now with no sign of relief to their situation.

Pulling at the high collar of her dress Lana longed for the clouds and rain that she had cursed only a week prior, now that she had to wear essentially her sunday best she would have been grateful for even a drop of rain.

The old conductor wiped the sweat off his brow as he leaned heavily against the moss covered wall of the ticket booth.

Lana couldn't help but feel sorry for him, afterwall she was just waiting to be picked up, while the poor man was likely stuck here until late in the evening.

Just looking at him Lana noted that he was a single gentleman living alone likely in the small house just visible across the other side of the tracks.

How she knew this?

Well lets just say Lana was very good at noticing things others tended to miss out of ignorance or lack of interest. Either way she only needed to note the faded stain on his lapel and the dried mud on the hem of his trousers to come to her conclusion.

“Don't suppose i could trouble you for a drink sonny?” The old man asked smiling at the gentleman with the water.

For a moment the man held the bottle close to his chest like he wanted to savour the last drink for himself, then his eyes seemed to linger on the old man for a few moments before he let out a sigh and handed it over.

What happened next was quite strange for you see the old man died.

One second he was happily drinking the water and the next he was convulsing on the ground with foam coming out of his mouth.

Of course they called the police right away, or well the Scottish man did while Lana attempted to keep the fat man from hyperventilating.

Funny things about calling the police about a sudden and mysterious death, they come much faster than any taxi or friend you have coming to pick you up.

The car pulled up shortly and Detective Coran stepped out and gave the body a quick once over.

“Ah it would appear old Charlie here's dead.”

“Yeah that's kinda why we called you” Lana sighed smiling at the detective. As a child she had quite a few run ins with the police and not all of them good, but over the years she and Coran had developed an odd sort of friendship.

Coran pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and used it to wipe away some of the foma that had formed at the victim's mouth. After giving it a quick sniff he stood up with a sigh “it would appear this poor fellow has been poisoned.”

“Poisoned?” The Scottish man asked in alarm “Fecken hell how'd he manage that?”

“Thats what im here to find out now.. What was it i was about to ask?” Coran asked frowning slightly.

“You were about to ask us if we saw anything suspicious” Lana supplied for him “and we would say that everything seemed perfectly normal right up until he collapsed.”

Coran nodded jotting it all down on his little notebook.

The fat man nodded along with what Lana was saying “it's like she says officer nothing out of the ordinary happened”.

He sounded strange, almost like his voice was being forced and lana had a sneaking suspicion that it wasn't to do with the current trauma.

“Did you see him eat or drink anything? Anything that could have been laced with poison?” Coran asked not seeming to pick up on the oddness of the man.

“Ah nothing that the three of us didn't also have a swig of” The scottish man shrugged “look can't we deal with this in yer office or something? Im roasting out here and this poor git looks like he's about to keel over.”

Coran nodded “yes i'm sure you all want to get away from the body soon as possible, i've already sent for a car to come collect us all shortly.”

“If it's all the same to you Coran i wouldn't mind having a look at the body… to erm see if it jogs any memories that may be of use to your investigation of course.” Lana took the dismissive wave as permission and began to poke at the body.

There wasn't anything particularly interesting about old Charlie, he was just a kindly  man that worked hard and liked to give sweets to the poor evacuees. Who could ever have a motive for wanting to kill him? Had it been suicide and they simply didn't see him take anything… well then if that was the case surely he would still have whatever he used on his person.

Feeling around his pockets Lana was disappointed to only find his house keys, a pocket watch as a few lollipops.

She was about to replace the contents when she noticed something rather odd about the wrapping of one of the sweets.

Usually the plastic is melted and twisted to seal it, but they, though melted, seemed to be pushed straight down almost as if they were resealed.

Curious Lana removed the wrapper and gave it a taste lick.

She recognized the taste almost instantly, enough sleepless nights of nightmares and terrors that lurched in the dark made her quite accustomed with the taste of sleeping pills.

The only question was why on earth is it in the sweets Charlie gave to the children? “Is this gonna take long? I got my wife and kid waiting for me at home.”

And just like that all the pieces slotted into place.

Lana straightened up and walked over to the fat man smiled at him before promptly kicking him between the legs.

He let out a pained yelp followed by a string of curse words in a very thick scottish accent.

“Detective Coran i do believe i have your murdures” She gestured to the two men who looked up at her with such dissbelief you would think she suggested they were unicorn spies.

“That's a very serious allegation miss McLain, i hope you have proof.” Corans mustache frowned.

“Ah but i do.” She bent down and with a flourish held the dropped water bottle in front of coran “behold the poison.”

“Unless your forgetting lassy we all drank out of that.” The scottish man snarled.

“See i thought that too, if we all drank it then there is no way he should have died and we didn't. Then i realised something, the poison was introduced after we all drank.” the men's eyes widened as she carefully peeled the film from the inside of the bottle cap. “Quite clever really, coat the outside of the film in poison then make sure your seen drinking from it, then all you need to do is place it with the outside facing inwards in the bottle cap shake the water about a bit and boom you have a murder weapon.” Lana replaced the lid and handed it to Coran “I'm sure your guys at the lab will find both their fingerprints on that film.”

“Both?” Coran asked taking the bottle in surprise.

“Of course, the two of them planned it after all. At first it seems like the two of you have nothing in common, even both being scottish doesnt really link you with more than a home land. But then i started thinking about the fact that i have no idea who either of you are. No one comes to this village and everyone knows everyone but not you too. How would you even know about this place? That's when it hit me, your both married with children, children that were evacuated here during the war.”

The fat man began to cry while the other just stared her down.

“But why would they want to kill nice old Charlie here?” Coran asked scratching his head.

Lanas smile dropped as she handed over the lollipop “because Charlie wasn't so nice… he gave out sweets laced with sleeping pills to the evacuees, kids that no one really wanted or had time for, im sure youll find evidence of all sorts of awful things when you search his house.” her gaze shifted to the men “he hurt your kids didn't he? I understand why you did it but… why not just tell the police and have him arrested?”

“We tried to” the fat man sobbed.

“Shut up Mark” the other man hissed elbowing him in the ribs but still he continued.

“My boy was only nine but he knew it was wrong and he marched over to the station soon as he could to tell someone, they laughed in his face and told him that he shouldn't make up such stories.” Marks voice grew steadily quieter “he didn't tell anyone again until he came home… i only found out because i found the letters he was sending to another boy that the bastard hurt… Bens boy”

“My son… he was 12 when it happened… god it would have been his birthday today if… if he had... “ Ben choked on his words.

“The police were useless once so we had to make sure he paid for what he did.” Mark whispered.

Lana kneeled down in front of them “im so sorry… but murder even when justified is still murder… Coran will have to take you to the station and its likely you will be hanged for this.”

Suddenly Ben surged forwards and grabbed Lana by the throat and produced a small knife from his pocket.

Coran had his army issued gun out in an instant.

“No, stop!” Corna yelled as the knife dug into Lanas neck drawing a thin line of blood.

“No one was supposed to know! I was supposed to be going home to ma family tonight but you ruined it!”

His body holding her tight, his breath on her neck and the familiar sensation of pain was all too much for her “While i do have sympathy for you and i believe all monsters like Charlie should be whipped off the face of the Earth” in one fluid motion she elbowed him in the gut and swept her leg under his knocking him to the floor and the knife of of his grasp. “No one gets to touch me like that but Hannah.”

Ben tried to get up but Coran pointed his gun at him “don't even try it son.”

He visibly deflated as he lay on the ground watching the sky “it was supposed to be the perfect kill… but you had to ruin it.”

Lana ignored him in favour of greeting the cars that pulled up, one belonging to the very woman she had missed more than life itself.

Hannah came barreling towards her picking her up in a hug and sobbing “They said someone died! Oh Lana i was so scared something had happened to you!”

Lana chuckled hugging her best friend back “Dont worry im fine… im fine now i'm home.”

[border-to-insanity]

Barista Blush

~**Coffee shop AU because I’m fucking cliché alright?

‘I want to speak with the manager Coffee shop AU, but wait? You’re the owner?!’

Words: 1621 (Sfw, but just an asshole lady)

Enjoy**~

    Callow glanced down nervously and tugged at the hem of his shirt as he padded down the street to the corner coffee shop. The phone in his pocket buzzed and he pulled it out, quickly swiping the screen to read the message from his sister as he padded along.

    From Itchy: R u gunna finally ask her out?/??/???

    To Itchy: No Blinky, Im gonna to get ur dumb coffee an run.

    From Itchy: Aww :,( bro don’t be leik that

    Callow grumbled as his phone buzzed once more, he pocketed the device with a small scowl, not bothering to read her newest message. He drew in a deep breath, Callow could see the bright cheery flowerpots on the sidewalk outside of the coffee shop’s windows as he turned down the street. Callow may or may not have fallen for the cute barista that works there the one time he ran to get Glitch coffee because ‘Cal, It’s to die for. If I don’t have their coffee at least once a day, I swear to the gods I think I might keel over.’ So here he was, running to get the coffee this oh so wonderful early ass Sunday morning.

    He casually pulled back the doors to the shop and let the smell of baking pasties and creamer fill his nose, smiling as the bell chimed overhead and he joined the line. Sundays weren’t bad. People slept in, and today seemed to be proof as there were only two others ahead of him. He held the door open for someone as he entered, and they fell in line behind him.

    His phone buzzed consistently in his pocket and he let out a small frown before pulling it out to check his newer messages.

    From Itchy: CAL, DO U HAVE HER #???

    To Itchy:  No.

    From Itchy: GOOD

    To Itchy: Wtf Glitch.

    From Itchy: i changed my mind, if u don’t get her number and she rejects you horribly, ill lose u as my coffee bitch

    To Itchy: I don’t know if I should hate your or not right now.

    From Itchy: i just love free coffee

    Callow glanced up as the people in front of him stepped up to the register. His heart fluttered as he saw the familiar barista there, she smiled at her customer and grabbed a cup to write their order.

    The bell by the doors chimed as someone else stepped in but Callow was fixed on the cute barista. Her hair was cut short in a bob, which today was pinned back by a blue beret in her golden hair, her bangs had been streaked with blue and magenta. He put his phone back and was about to step forward as the couple stepped away but a looming figure stepped in front of him.

    “Hey!” Callow scoffed but the other person didn’t pay any attention to him, the woman didn’t even glance to him as she stepped up to the register where the barista was, and began to order. “I’d like a large, triple caramel roasted latte with an extra shot-”

    “Will the next customer please step up?” The barista paid no mind to the other customer and looked over to Callow, she grinned widely and Callow returned the smile, his cheeks flushing.

    “Hey! I was ordering!” The woman demanded, her foot tapping on the tile floor in frustration.

    “I can definitely take your order after these other two people” The barista kept her honey sweet smile, and big ol’ doe eyes on as she gestured to Callow and the person behind him.

    “No, no sweetie.” The woman fluttered her hands as if she was talking to a five-year-old. “I’m ordering my coffee, now. I’m running late for a meeting and need it, now.”

    “You can wait just behind these lovingly patient people too and I will be more than happy to make your coffee so you can be on your way.” The barista makes a small shoo movement but kept her smile plastered on.

     The woman sneered in disgusted, as if waiting was something she’s never done or heard of. “I could have had my coffee and been out the door by now! Honestly, what good are you? Where is your supervisor? I want to speak with your manager!” Her shrill voice rang out.

    The barista bowed her head, “Oh course, one moment please.” She turned and walked back behind the swinging doors.

    Callow shifted his weight uneasily, he looked over to the woman in front of him and the doors to the back room. They were still swinging as the barista caught them and added back through, this time a male following her, he was slightly taller and had his hair tied back in a bun. “This is her, Psi.” The barista said nodding from the woman to the man.

    Psi cranked out a fake smile and said “Thank you, Gamma.” Callow’s heart sunk as the barista turned and went back into the back room, he hoped that she was alright… Unfortunately, the woman’s shrill screeching caught his attention and he was dragged out of his thoughts and back into the now.

    “Your insulant barista refused to take my order and now I’m late for my very important meeting!”

    “I am so sorry about this, I am sure we can accommodate-”

    “Oh, yes you will!” The woman pointed a crooked finger at Psi “I want her fired and my coffee free now!” Callow’s mouth dropped.

    Psi raised both hands in mock surrender “I am sorry madam but I do not hold that kind of authority, if you would like I can get you the Owner and you may take it up with them.”

    She made a shooing motion, her face twisted up. “Yes yes! Go do that, right now!” She barked at him and Psi went into the back once more.

     Not even a moment later, Psi and Gamma returned through the doors.

    Gamma lifted a small hand in a half wave.

    “What is she still doing here? I thought I was going to talk to the store owner and have you fired!” The woman snarled.

    Psi shrugged as if he couldn’t care less what was happening or that the woman was practically foaming at the mouth in rage. “You told me to get the store owner, and so here she is.” He gestured to his adorable co-worker.

    Gamma’s face split into an ear to ear grin as she placed her palms on the counter and leaned onto it. “Hello again ma’am, I do believe we’ve spoken before. And I will be more than happy to take your order, after theirs.” She gave an indication to people in line and then called out “May I take the next customer please?”

The woman looked as if Gamma had just slapped her across the face, she took a step back, her teeth grit as she tore her gaze away from Gamma long enough to see Callow and the other patron in line. “Fine!” She spat out in disgust. “I’m never buying coffee here again!”

    Callow watched as Gamma tried to hide her amusement, Psi crossed his arms with a light-hearted shrug as the lady stormed out. “Gamma, why do you always do this to me?”

    He stepped to the other register as Gamma motioned Callow forward and Psi took the next customer.

    “Uh…” Callow froze up as he locked eyes with Gamma, a blush creeping up his face as he stood in front of her at the register.

    “It’s Callow, right?” Gamma said as she grabbed one of the cups by the register, he was about to open his mouth when she said. “You come in almost every single day and get the same two drinks.”

    “Oh, yeah. The medium tea and large coffee with milk.”

    Gamma hummed as she wrote the orders on the cups. She placed them down and looked back up at him as Callow handed her payment for the drinks. “Who’s the second for if you don’t mind me asking? You don't really strike me as a coffee drinker.”

    “My sister, she swears by it that without your coffee, she wouldn’t make it through the day.” Callow beamed as Gamma tilted her head to the side as she laughed.  

    “Wow! What an honor! If you don’t mind, I’d like to give you my number. I love meeting people who think so highly of my shop!”

    Callow grinned “Of course!” and graciously accepted the napkin that Gamma had written her number on, he pulled out a twenty and put it in the tip-jar.

    Gamma turned to make the coffee and Callow stepped away from the counter.

    He watched as Gamma and Psi effortlessly worked around each other as the two shifted places constantly in a synchronized dance behind the counter to grab the ingredients that they needed. Sooner than Callow wanted to admit he was tearing his gaze away and Gamma was sliding his two drinks into his reach.

“Ya know...” She mused with that cute small smile on her face. “I hear the Owner here is really nice”

    Callow grabbed the warm cups gratefully, he inhaled the scent of freshly brewed tea and chuckled. “Do you think they’d mind if I asked out one of the employees on a date? I’d just hate for them to get fired.”

    Gamma’s eyes gleamed brightly “Actually, I think the Owner gets off at 8pm? If you want to ask them yourself?”

    “I’ll be sure to swing by to pick them up” He grinned and she waved him goodbye as he turned and sauntered back out the door. The chime overhead sounded miles away and Callow began to imagine his date later tonight with the cute barista behind the counter with the big doe eyes.