#im gonna have to like buy wool or something

[this-doesnt-endd]

Anyways speaking of clothes im always on the hunt for a really thick cardigan to wear at work cause im freezing cold in the summer, winter is hell, and my job doesnt allow anything but cardigans cause we can't have zippers for who the hell knows why and i've come to the conclusion im simply gonna have to make one myself

[fivefeetfangirl]

convention money is crazy. i wish i could make that kind of cash just from taking pics with people and signing my name on shit. lord what misha and jensen made in two days would feed and house me for a decade easy. madness. i bet they got free food all weekend too. fuck my entire life aint worth $250k. i could literally sell everything i own, a kidney and my ass to a dozen dudes and still be 90% short of what misha and jensen made this past weekend.

you and me nonny, you and me 😔

personally im good. i dont need their money. i'll wear my wool sweater and wool socks and keep warm etc etc but it just feels so unrealistic sometimes. like they really do be living such a completely different life than most of their fans. thinking about con prices and such really is crazy. im not gonna come on here and say they should do this and this with their money but i do hope they do feel some resposibility to do something useful with it

[nomazee]

Silly little thing I thought of

Like like imagine dazai and the reader have been friends for years like the reader knew him since his 15 goofer era... and they got used to eachother sm they usually sleep in eachothers beds n stuff :3

LIKE SOMETHING IS GOING ON BUT THEY STILL HAVE THE FRIENDSHIP LABEL.. 🐺🤞

this concept stuck itself in my head like a tapeworm and it has not escaped me for days IM ACTUALLY OBSESSED i wrote SO MUCH for this omfg i had so much fun writing this thank u for this wonderful idea pairing: dazai x gn reader word count: 2.5k content: fluff, vignette-style writing, friends-to-lovers unspoken label type of thing, soft dazai, domestic fluff without the marriage bit, banter, idiots in love im taking requests!

===

Dazai’s toes are still as frigid at night as they were seven years ago. You, of all people, would be the best person to measure this—not in a weird way, but you two have shared a bed at least once a week since your teenage years. You know all of Dazai’s annoying sleeping habits, including his ones of sleeping without socks and digging his feet into your shins for warmth. 

Annoying fucker. You sigh, batting his arm away from its loose hold around your waist. “Get your toes off of me,” you croak out, half-conscious and mind still addled with the remains of your once-deep sleep.

“What toes,” Dazai mutters back, smacking your intervening hand away and returning his arm to its rightful place around you. “I don’t have toes. I got rid of them after puberty, ‘member?” 

“I’m gonna kill you.” You won’t, not really, and the threats have lost their edge after all these years, but it’s fun to throw at him when he annoys you like this. “I know all your weaknesses, Osamu. One wrong move and you’ll be missing more than just your toes.” 

“I’m cold, dear. Would you really let me freeze like this? So mean.” 

You try not to choke up at the nickname. He’s been a fan of those recently, at least in the last year. You think it has something to do with your new places at the Agency. New workplace, new life, and new nicknames, apparently. If you overthink it you might puke on him and fall back asleep. 

“Not cruel. We have money now, you know. Go buy yourself socks. Wool, or something. Stupid ass cold ass toes.”

He goes quiet. Even in all these years of knowing him, half-living with him, you can’t tell if it’s a normal lull in the conversation or a calculated pause. It doesn’t unnerve you as much as it used to, but there’s still a cold chill at the nape of your neck that springs up at times like these. 

“Why would I do that when I have you?” 

Dazai has also been a fan of this recently—strange uncharacteristic moments of tenderness. He peels himself back for you and bares himself raw. The implications make you nauseous. Swathed in the darkness of the night, he can’t see your fingers twitch from where they lay next to your head, away from his sight; or the conflicted expression that crosses your face. 

Easing your breath out into a steady, deep rhythm, you pretend to be asleep. It’s not like he can’t tell, but the message is there. Let’s not talk about this until the morning. Let’s just sleep for the night. Let’s keep what we have and not change it for the worse. 

==

At age eighteen, shaken with the death of his friend and haunted by blood stains on his fingers, Dazai defects from the mafia. 

He doesn’t take you with him—at least, he doesn’t mean to. He expects to leave quietly, or as quietly as blowing up Chuuya’s car can be. He doesn’t expect you to drag yourself along kicking and screaming. 

Dazai doesn’t remember much about specifics, but he knows that one day he was alone in his underground apartment and the next day you were there. The kitchen smelled like melted marshmallows and rice krispies and his dingy counter was covered in sprinkles. 

“Hi, Dazai,” you’d greeted conversationally. “I’m making your favorite.” 

He doesn’t even like rice krispie treats. Hates them, actually. 

In truth, your presence is less the result of you “kicking and screaming” and more like an after-effect of your own quiet stubbornness. Your kicking-and-screaming was done in the passive aggressive way that you cleaned his dishes and made his bed and left big trays of rice krispie treats in his fridge for the next week. 

Neither of you talked about Chuuya. It was better for you that way. 

On the first night, Dazai remembers you holding him from behind, forehead pressed into the stretch of skin between his neck and shoulder. He’s sensitive there despite being wrapped in his stupid scratchy bandaids. His memories for the rest of the night are overrun by a feeling of want, an itch to feel your fingers on his bare skin, a craving for your hand on his stomach to slide beneath the hem of his shirt and press into the tender skin of his abdomen and keep him warm.  

===

“Leave me alone,” you grumble from behind the sleeve of your jacket. “I’m napping.” 

“It’s not napping if you’re still awake.” 

“I wouldn’t be awake if it wasn’t for your annoying ass.” Rotating your body to face the ceiling from your place on the Agency’s couch, you sigh when your view is blocked by Dazai’s ugly stupid face. He’s smiling in that conniving way that he does when he’s about to do something super annoying. Another sigh escapes you when he leans down close enough for the overgrown ends of his hair to brush against your nose. The puff of air from your verbal discontent makes the strands sway slightly. You try not to think about how mesmerizing he looks when he’s this close, with the light from the window casting a golden sheen on the crown of his head. 

Since when did you get this sappy? Must be Dazai rubbing off on you, obviously. 

“So tired already! It’s barely noon.” 

“You came into work an hour ago. I’ve been here since eight. Try being responsible for a change, might exhaust you just as much.” 

“Hmm.” He tilts his head, big stupid shiny brown eyes blinking down at you like he’s observing a specimen. “I think I’m more than responsible enough.” 

“Sure,” you relent, turning back around to shove your face into the corner of the couch and block out the incoming light. It’s the truth—you’re exhausted. A persistent weariness permeates your bones from how much you’ve been working these last few weeks. It’s not like it’s anyone’s fault in particular, not even Dazai’s despite how much he slacks on paperwork. But looming threats from enemy organizations hang over everyone’s heads and there’s no shortage of uncertainty in the Agency. It’s been mission after mission for you, and you’re taking every break you can get. 

Rustling sounds from above you, but you pay it no mind, busying yourself with nestling all of your body into the crevices of the couch and hopefully turning into a piece of furniture yourself. It might be a more peaceful life, really. The calm is short-lived when you feel fingers tap along your cheek—not in a rousing gesture, but something along the lines of placating. 

Dazai squeezes a hand beneath your head and cups the side of your face pressed against the couch, tilting it closer to him before you feel a warm press of lips against your cheek. He lingers. He always does. You can feel the gentle inhales and exhales breeze against your face before he breaks his kiss away. Your cheek is warm for more reasons than one. 

“Take care of yourself,” and oh, god, you’ll never get used to this, never get used to how tender and soft he’s become with you, never get used to how this Agency has fostered something like kindness in both of you. Your stomach stirs with something unnamed and if you were braver, you’d blink your eyes open and reach up and grab the sides of his face and pull him down to you. 

But you’re not brave, and there’s people still behind you in the office, and you wonder what led Dazai to be soft enough to kiss your face like that in front of everyone. You’re sure they’re watching you both. The Agency is full of gossips, whether they admit it or not. 

===

“Dazai,” Ango Sakaguchi grits out from behind the crackling reception of a burner phone. “They were not a part of the plan.” 

“You think I don’t know that, Ango?” Dazai replies, tone more playful than aggressive. “I know they’re not a part of the plan. They knew they weren’t part of the plan, too. But it’s too late to do anything about it. It’s just a minor change.” 

“A minor change?” Ango’s voice is strained with stress, no doubt pulling out strands of his hair as they speak. “I have to deal with not one, but now two members of the mafia defecting. Do you know how much work this was to begin with?” 

The thing is—of course Dazai knows. He knows everything. The minute he found you in his kitchen, his stomach dropped with the uncertainty of the future. Going underground with another person was nothing short of a burden, at least on paper. But, he couldn't find it in himself to think of you like that. Like a burden. 

“We’ll figure it out, Ango. If you don’t, then we will.” 

A gritty sigh sounds from the other side of the phone call. “I’m putting a lot of faith in you, Dazai. Don’t screw this up.” 

===

“Made you lunch. Since, obviously, you’re not gonna do that for yourself any time soon.” 

A closed plastic container is thrown on the counter in front of Dazai. He looks at it, then up at you, eyebrow raised as if he doesn’t have a clue what this could be about. He’s not that stupid, though. You of all people would know that. 

“How nice of you! Too bad I’m not hungry.” His lip juts out in a poor imitation of a pout, and he looks ugly with it. So ugly. Ugly enough to make you feel the need to kiss him all over and then slap him. An incredulous huff escapes you. 

“I don’t care if you’re hungry. Eat. It has crab in it, see, your favorite.” 

“I thought my favorite was rice krispies?” 

You freeze. It hadn’t occurred to you that he might remember that, after all this time. You don’t dwell, because that’s the worst thing to do with Osamu Dazai—dwell. 

“Don’t act stupid. Just eat it. Even if it’s not the whole thing, at least some of it. It would do you some good.” Getting serious with Dazai is one of the most awkward, unbearable things you could ever do. He has a way of making you feel stupid for worrying about him, with all his roundabout jokes and skills of evasion built up over years. You’ve found that being straightforward is the best way to avoid all those blank moments of silence. 

His fingers curl around the plastic lid and pop it open. The container is still warm, having cooked all its contents just half an hour before showing up at Dazai’s apartment with conviction in your eyes. “Sure,” he says. “I’ll have some.” 

You bring out a duplicate container with a serving for you, and treat yourself to a juice box from his fridge. You try not to launch into a lecture at the sight of his barren pantry—that’s best done by Kunikida. The both of you eat in silence, sitting across from each other at Dazai’s dusty kitchen island. 

He only gets through a few bites before pushing the container away and complaining about how full he is. You know it’s not the truth, but it’s the mixed-up signals that his body sends him. It’s not that he’s full, but his persistent lack of appetite has caused a lot of troubles for him in the past and you don’t doubt that it’ll keep causing troubles in the future, too. 

“Let’s get you to bed, then,” you tell him, dragging him up from his chair despite his whining protests. “I won’t make you shower, but you should probably do that tomorrow, ‘cause your hair’s about to get all greasy and disgusting.”

“So crude.” 

“I do my best.” 

You let him change on his own, but not before picking out a nice soft set of matching pajamas from deep inside his closet. You grumble a little in annoyance. The set was a birthday gift you got for him a year ago and that asshole pushed it to the back of his wardrobe and never touched it again. What a brat. You throw a pair of fuzzy socks at him to boot. 

Once he’s changed into proper sleep clothes, you can tell that the exhaustion is starting to hit him. He sways a little on his feet and his blinks last for a little too long, as if he’s chasing sleep every time his eyes shut. With another begrudging sigh, you set him down on the floor of the bathroom and dollop his toothbrush with fruity kid’s toothpaste—because of course that’s the only toothpaste he owns—and brush his teeth for him. 

Dazai dozes off in the middle of it, and you can’t bring yourself to wake him up in the most annoying way possible. You try really, really hard to not think about how soft you’ve gotten. You’re an ex-mafia member, past coated with dark stains and entrails and death, all of those dark things. Your blood is just as black as Dazai’s, if not more. And yet, being a part of this stupid Detective Agency with this stupid man has melted you down into something parallel to good.

Don’t dwell. It’ll do you no good. 

You use a gentle grip with the toothbrush, ensuring that his delicate gums don’t tear with the force of the bristles. A warm feeling stirs in your chest. It feels like you’ve proven something, like you’ve proven to the world that your coal-stained hands can be gentle, too. You can kill and you can nurture. You tap Dazai awake with a little more care, now. 

“Rinse your mouth,” you tell him in a whisper. “Then you can sleep.” And after a pause, you add, “I promise,” because now you’re in the business of making promises to people. 

Dazai rinses his mouth, and you wipe off the remaining droplets of water from his face with a paper towel that you leave on the counter for your future self to throw out. You lace your fingers with his as you walk to his bed. Not that he needs any guiding. Of course he doesn’t. It’s just a little extra insurance, you think. 

“Stay with me,” he mumbles out the minute you lay him down on the bed. It’s a sentence, and not a question, because he’d rather die than ask you something so vulnerable. He’s doing it again—peeling himself back and baring himself raw for you. Your head swims and your vision blurs with either a migraine or with tears, you can’t tell. But your lips quirk up into a stupid smile and he sees it despite his half-lidded eyes, and he smiles back like the stupid dope that he is. 

“Yeah, of course. I’m right here, Osamu. Go to sleep.” 

And he does. Of course, not before he feels you cup the opposite side of his face and plant a warm, lingering kiss on the swell of his cheek just as he did for you weeks before. The faint laugh that he lets out before he falls asleep is enough to tell you that he’ll be making fun of you for it in the morning. For now, though, he’s soft and pliant and warm between your hands, and you sleep.

[six-of-ravens]

im procrastinating dishes so time to make a cheeseballs self improvement post:

in September I made progress on unfucking my sleeping schedule, started doing hobbies more regularly including writing, and developed a basic skincare routine that's actually working. excellent progress!

goals for October/the rest of winter are to continue with those and also add some new things (not sure if I'll stick with all of them, but I want to see how much I can do and some of them are as simple as "don't buy that thing" so):

start waking up at 7:15 instead of 7:30 on office days (goal is eventually to wake up at 7, which will give me plenty of extra time during the winter when traffic is shitty) and 8 instead of as close to 9 as I can get on WFH days. don't need to get out of bed at 8, just be awake, bc stumbling to the computer bleary-eyed is a horrible way to start the day, shockingly. also start going to bed by 12 on WFH/weekend nights.

go on an Unnecessary/Impulse Spending Ban, with a few caveats: i can spend money on ✨ experiences✨ like tickets to a show or park or whatever, i can buy ✨fancy✨ food from the farmers market or cocktail supplies as long as I have a recipe planned for it, I can treat myself to lunch/coffee on Fridays (that's my motivation to go for a walk lol) and my Thursday Final Office Day PSL Treat, I can buy gifts/make donations, annnnd I can buy up to 3 "hobby items" per month, ie. a book, DVD, puzzle/miniature kit, wool, etc. but ONLY 3 items, not 3 trips to the store *glares at my inner child*. If I REALLY REALLY want an Unnecessary Item I need to come up with a good, real reason why I need it, and none of them can be "because I want it" or "I'm sad and need a pick-me-up." or "I need to kill time so I'll go into the bookstore whoops now I have an armful of new releases!"

start meal planning for once in my life. I've never really done it, aside from that time a couple years ago when I was making 1 recipe a week to replace my takeout habit lol. I need to reduce my grocery bill and food waste though so if I have a list of staples I always keep in stock and then plan what recipes I want to make on what days it'll be easier to only buy what I need. currently I just like, write "veg x3" on my grocery list and then buy 5 random vegetables bc I have no plan and think I need more, and eat maybe half of them.....

in addition to that: make a list of recipes I want to make this fall/winter (both old favourites and new ones) and plan to make one special cooking and one baking thing per week, in addition to a simpler recipe Tuesday night so I can eat leftovers Weds/Thurs and something I can freeze for lunches. currently trying to map out a schedule for this since sadly I think I am a Schedule Girlie and if I don't have one I simply Won't do the thing. Also while my freezer is not very big, I think I can make/freeze 2-3 weeks of lunches (about 9 tupperwares) so I might start doing what my aunt does and batch-cooking those instead of scrambling to make lunch every week

annnnd also to reduce my grocery bill, stop buying random vitamin water/iced tea/sparkling water/whatever. the silly little drink culture in this household is getting out of control and the cost is adding up even if I do buy sale stuff. Instead I'm gonna try and make more coffee/hot chocolate/tea....and drink more water. I am badly dehydrated. The one caveat is alcohol, since I don't buy a whole lot of it and it's a weekend treat rather than a daily indulgence. Also my Princess Bride cookbook has a bunch of cocktail recipes I want to try so I'm going to make some of those for fun.

another food based one, but I want to also stop buying so much junk food, particularly chips, and try making my own snacks/desserts more often. Basically my Silly Little Treats recently have been junk food-based and it's starting to just become a habit and not a treat I'm actually excited about, so it's time to try something new (and healthier bc hooo boy between the all the butter pasta, sweet drinks, and chips, I'm going to die of heart disease at 35)

on that note: try and develop an exercise habit. much like my writing one, my goal is 5 days a week, and I can take up to 2 days off but not in a row. any exercise is good (walk, exercise bike, yoga, whatever) right now, but I'm hoping to refine my goals in the future when I find what makes me feel the best. I would like to start forcing myself to go for a walk on at least one office day as long as the weather is good. maybe I'll do that Thursday at lunch and then I can buy my Reward PSL.....

actually *finish* a craft before starting a new one, especially when it comes to knitting. visiting my grandma reminded me that knitting and crochet can be super basic and still rewarding! she's knitted a whole garbage bag of baby hats/blankets/swaddlers, toques, and scarves to donate to charity (baby stuff to the hospital and the rest to a shelter) and like. yeah it's all basic with no fancy patterns or colorwork or whatever but it's *done*. i need to step back with that hobby and just focus on finishing things while learning the basics instead of lusting after everyone's gorgeous sweaters lol.

not really a goal but a change: going to try alternating 1 new book/series with 1 reread going forward, so I stop feeling FOMO for whatever I'm not reading at the moment lol

Lock the amount of time I'm allowed to use my social apps/news app at 3 hours (which I think I can do with the StayFree app). that should be plenty of time to keep up with things and prevent me from doing what I'm doing now which is spending almost a full hour blathering.

Anyway, yeah. Trying to use the delicious fall season as a springboard into better eating habits, spend less specifically on impulse buys I'm making bc I'm bored/depressed/anxious, and continue to do more hobbies and Self Care better.

[dreamdripdistance]

I'll always love a good Dizz tag rant about how much plastic fabrics suck ass <3

FVDSHKFBHDSUGDEWHJKFBZXJK im glad i have a brand!!! because like if someone doesnt need polyester for a specific purpose for its specific properties, why WOULD you prefer it over a natural fibre for an everyday use????

like. ethically sourced leather (which is a byproduct of the meat industry, cows are always going to be killed or will die for one reason or another, wasting their skin when it could instead be a Really good textile is STUPID and ILLOGICAL) or wool (something that will always be available as long as sheep roam this earth, and DOES NOT harm the animal and actually is integral to their survival!!) or cotton or linen or silk or whatever will always be a better, more ethical and healthier choice!!!!!

like just off the top of my head, linen is always going to be a better choice for bedding than anything else, especially in the way its literally a Stronger textile when wet, and its breathablity and antibacterial properties. all things you want when using and caring for your bedding????

cotton is GREAT for underwear and clothing kept close to the skin because of its breathablity. by the fucking way, ppl with vaginas? if youre wearing polyester underwear Every Day, i hope you know youre literally just inflicting yeast infections upon yourself??? like wearing cute lacy undies is great once in a while, but pleaaaaase. wear (loose fitting) cotton underwear to sleep, especially.

and also, wool is the greatest insulator that you could possibly get, and is key to making sure you dont also sweat (which can be dangerous and also gross even when its extremely cold), and is a great thing to use in your doonas if you can afford it (WHICH I CANT AND I CRY EVERY TIME)

like, yeah theres ethical issues regarding natural textiles, like leather dyeing processes (and that its an animal byproduct, which im not gonna talk about indepth bc idgaf), and the historically (and currently) evil practices being used to farm cotton, and the widespread fast fashion-ification of Everything rn even with natural textile garments.

but like. think about it in comparison to the mass manufacture and discarding of polyester fabrics, and the microplastics going loose in every single wash, and how polyester waste is literally just PLASTIC waste, so when your PU leather coat disintegrates, thats just going to go in the bin, where as a coat made of real leather is going to last for however as long as you can keep it conditioned and protected from damage (which can be fucking DECADES)

also, synthetics are Fine. like they have a time and place especially in the medical field and in situations where you reaaaally dont want anything coming in or out of what youre wearing. nylon was fucking revolutionary as the first entirely synthetic textile so like. i dont hate polyester? but again it has a time and place!!!

like, polyester is cheap as fuck, and if polyester or "cotton rich" (aka poly blend) bedding or clothing is all you can afford or find, then cool! im sorry about that, but i have no qualms about it! ive bought polyester clothing, like, my work pants are all polyester, because they were the cheapest dress pants i could get at kmart that were my size after trying and failing to find smth in an op shop! but like !!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUGHGHGHGHHGHGHGHGHHHHH IF SOMEONE HAS THE MEANS TO BUY ACTUAL LEATHER (WITH NO QUALMS WITH REAL LEATHER OR W/E) AND THEN GOES TO DROP HUNDREDS ON A PU LEATHER (AKA PLASTIC) COAT, IM GONNA MAUL THEM!!!!!

anyways in conclusion, as i always say:

[eldritchmochi]

Have you got any plans for haloween costumes?

I'm going as a burlesque interpretation of Frankenstein so it was nice(?) to see some staple inspo the other day.

I'll just be doing cheesy drawn on stitches though becuase I don't have the skill or patience for real special effects makeup anymore

i ammm actually noodling this now!!!

FOR CONTEXT because i dont think a lot of current followers are familiar with my job pre porn mines, but i did costuming consults for like 6 years (at value village lmao, so both lamer and much much harder than you think). i thusly have a fukken CRATE of costume pieces so i can throw together things willy nilly out of there if i want

however my REAL FORTE (especially given the premise i worked with at that job) is slapping together closet costumes out of my real clothes. everything i wear in my two pumkin head sets are just... normal ass clothes for me (okay the dress under the orange apron was not mine so not "normal" clothes per se but)

n e wai this month, depending on a) if i actually do anything (unlikely) and b) how much stamina i have after surgery AND covid booster, i have a couple of plans for some self shot photos. one is a proof of concept make up wise and the others are just me fucking around like a hoe because i think its funny, but since i ordered some grey paint to tone down my purple for essek ahead of dying gloves and im gonna experiment anyway.....

option one: something something saint imagery with some vibes from pulled from a couple of fanarts i dont have easy links to and Refuse to repost

i have

this halo crown by voodoodolly in black that we tried to mess around with when my cosbuddies were up the other year to take my first round of essek photos but just could not get to stay on my wig; combine it with a lot of like, glitter/pearl/rhinestone tears and sum ANGUISH : fun

pros: avante guard or whatever, makes me wanna get a sword for proper photos

cons: make up will take forever to put on AND take off (hence dry runs), i am not sure anything i'd want to wear for it currently fits??? apart from the corset but i curRENTLY HAVE A BUILT IN BUSK NO THANK YOU

option two: vampire essek lmao, which is realistically what i'd go with if i did end up doing something in a low plague risk environment with like, my sib or something. this might be what i throw on just to vibe check the paint tint adjustments, especially since bottoms would be just leggings (comf. also fuck i desperately need riding boots dont i)

consists of

the beloved blouse by haenuli (in black obviously), likely with my probably edwardian era wool mourning capelet (provided i wanna sew in a dirt/paint catch into the collar). nothing special make up wise beyond fangs, just testing paint colors and eyebrow pomade so i'd do everything else roughly the same as i have before

option three, the hoe option, which i am probably gonna attempt post dying the arm socks to experiment with some OTHER things, is boudoir photos essek. the pearl of rhosohna or something idk all i know is i have a bunch of vintage night gowns and peignoirs and i think it'd be funny. not sure what i would wear specifically i'd have to see what all in my stash fits but would incorporate this necklace (also by haenuli, based off one marie antoinette had)

(i do not own it but my sibling is down to let me borrow theirs. i tentatively want to spoof it to incorporate into an essek mantle anyway so this will be a good opportunity for me to fondle it

wrt stitches!!! you dont have to get extra! they definitely make stitch jewelry that you can buy for a couple of bucks and generally look better than drawn on. the trouble with drawn on stitches, especially around the neck, is they tend to smear (: so ive had a set of jewelry like this for years (mine were also tnbc sally themed, but from hot topic lol)

also obviously i want to go take Ominious Pumpkin Head Photos In The Woods but i need a spotter AND for it to not be raining for like five minutes when i'm not dying :(

[cultofdarkwood]

OH!!! OHHHH THESE SPIDERS ARE SO FUCKIN COOOOL

hold on im gonna NERD RAMBLE.

Deinopidae fall under Araneomorphae, so yes, they've got cross pincer fangs! these spiders in particular have a silk spinning organ called the cribellum INSTEAD of spinnerets. cribellate spider silk is often very fine, but strong, and because they have different silk spinning organs, they also get special bristles on their back legs to help them comb it out!!! (these bristles are called "calamistrum", and are the reason cribellate spider silk is described as having a "wooly texture".)

AS A BONUS, if Helob does turn out to be one of these guys, he's transgender! Sexually mature cribellate males lose their cribellum and/or their calamistrum and can't hunt, but sexually mature females do NOT lose them, and last I checked, Helob was still catching little guys for us to buy!!!

whats REALLY interesting to me is how these guys hunt.

Deinopidae ... consists of stick-like elongated spiders that catch prey by stretching a web across their front legs before propelling themselves forward. These unusual webs will stretch two or three times their relaxed size, entangling any prey that touch them.

LIKE HELLO. that is SO Helob to me. reach out and GRAB your next munchie with your silk.

pics under the cut, WARNING for SPIDERS who have BIG OL EYES (the pics are zoomed out, there's no eye contact, but the eyes DO be large lookin.)

LIKE LOOK AT THESE GUYS. LOOK AT THAT FACE. THATS HELOB!!!

makes me wonder if Helob is actually just stick thin and if the big fluffy round wool is him wearing his silk instead or something...

spiders can have two different fang positions. this, along with a few other things, determines their taxonomic classification - cross pincer chelicerae belong to araneomorphae ("true spiders", containing 93% of all known spider species), and (most*) straight down chelicerae belong to mygalomorphae (tarantulas and related, known to be powerful predators and have potent venom).

(* old world spiders, mesothelae, also have downward pointing chelicerae, but most don't have very strong venom and aren't very active predators, relying on ambush tactics. these consist mainly of burrowing/trapdoor spiders found in japan, china, and southeast asia)

with this information i'd liked to point out that helob has cross pincer chelicerae, and shamura has straight down chelicerae.

shamura's either a tarantula or a trapdoor spider. and they are potentially asian!! (helob could be anything, but im proposing either an orb weaver for the matching aesthetic, or a jumping spider bc those things are so goddamn cute.)

[mizunetzu]

I just skipped school and binge read all of your fanfics- They’re really good gRRRRrrr 🥺🥺 Keep up the good work!! That being said- Can I request a fluffy Hawks x male reader where the reader has a cold and is stuck in bed and Hawks takes care of him? Thank you vv much!!!

HAHHAHA WHY IS ALL MY HAWKS REQUESTS ALWAYS FLUFF (I mean ur like my second one but it’s still flufF) (and not that this wasn’t fun to write cuz it was HAAHA I’m lowkey proud)

(Also gRRRRur so nice but GO TO SCHOOL >:( BARK BARKK BAEKR)

——————

Hawks x reader - The Sick Fic

⚠️warnings - it’s as the title says. It’s the sick fic.

Pronouns - male, he/him

——————

(Y/n) coughed up sticky red blood.

“Y-yeah, no. I don’t think I can patrol today, Yusha-san. The villain from yesterday activated their quirk on me-and I’m feeling a bit sick.”

Yusha, the secretary to the (L/n) hero agency, typed something down on his computer. “Is it something we should be concerned about?”

“No.” (Y/n) croaked out with a chuckle. “Their quirk isn’t really dangerous, but it did make me a bit sick. It’ll pass, don’t worry.”

“Ok. I’ll send in one of your sidekicks to patrol with Hawks-san today.” More typing from across the phone. (Y/n) pursed his lips.

“U-uh,”

“Don’t worry. I’m sending a male sidekick.” Yusha practically read his mind. (Y/n) didn’t want any stupid girls hitting on his stupid, popular, pro-hero patrol buddy boyfriend.

“Thank you, Yusha-san.”

“It’s nothing. Get some rest, (H/n). We expect you to show up tomorrow.” Yusha ended up before (Y/n) could even say goodbye. He lazily dropped his phone onto his bedside table, burying himself under his bedsheets as best as he could. Just as he was getting comfy, the urge to cough up more blood kicked him in the stomach.

He flung himself over his bed, practically shoving his head into the small waste bin under his bedside table. He wiped his mouth with his forearm after hacking up more blood, his head suddenly feeling hazy and jumbled.

He groaned, and got under the bedsheets once more. The world seemed to be against him today, as another distraction forced him out from his beauty sleep.

His phone buzzed once. Twice. Then the annoying, overlapping ring of multiple messages being spammed buzzed out his phone, making (Y/n) cover his ears with his pillow.

Annoyed, he patted around the side table til’ his hand landed on his phone, pulling it towards him and under the sheets.

‘Keigo 🍗 - where r u :(‘

‘Keigo 🍗 - who’s this...rando dude patrolling wit me :(((‘

‘Keigo 🍗 - r u asleep or smth’

‘Keigo 🍗 - wake up ur late to patrol and I need my yakitori addiction funded today’

‘Keigo 🍗 - DUDE’

‘Keigo 🍗 - BBBBBBBBBB’

‘Keigo 🍗 - IM NOT GONNA STOP SPAMMING U TILL U ANSWER ME OR SHOW UP AN PATROL WITH ME >:(((‘

(Y/n) sighed. He opened the messages, meaning that Keigo would get the ‘message read’ notification, but he couldn’t care less. Tossing the phone lazily on the table, he muted the messages app.

———

(Y/n) stirred in his sleep when he heard tapping on his bedroom window. (Y/n) opened his sticky eyes, barely open enough to see a blurry red object tapping against the glass frame. Eventually, the object halted, gave up, and swooped down and out of sight. He shrugged.

Just as he closed his eyes, more pelting came from the window, this time louder and heavier. (Y/n) snapped his eyes open, flinging himself out of bed, and getting ready to activate his quirk.

He visibly relaxed when he saw the huge red wings tapping outside the window, with a certain hero crouching down, looking at him sheepishly and trying to pick open the window lock. The man waved with an embarrassed smile, his feathers following suit.

“Keigo Takami. What the fuck are you doing in my house.”

The man, Keigo Takami, chuckled awkwardly while (y/n) undid the clasps on his window. He stepped back, allowing him to worm his way in through the small window.

Keigo paused, half way squeezed in with his wings stuck in the cramped window frame. He was stuck. “Y...you need to buy a bigger window-“

“Are you dumb?” (Y/n) chuckled, the sight of Pro Hero Hawks, man who could pull absolute pussy, bent over his bedroom window, stuck with his wings awkwardly fluttering in place. “Just, I don’t know, send your feathers off until they’re small enough to fit you in.”

Keigo had a wave of realization. This man had no braincells whatsoever. “...oh, haha, you’re so smart~”

One by one, feathers jutted out from his back, each floating either inside (Y/n’s) room or outside the window. Once all of them were off, and his back were relatively empty, he tumbled ever-so-gracefully inside the room. He stood up, his wings rebuilding themselves in seconds, and did an awful curtsy.

“Thank you, thank you, I’ll be here all day to take care of my sick patrol partner who do happens to be my boyfriend,”

“Speaking of patrol -what happened to patrol? A-and the dude you should be patrolling with? You should be out by n-“

A sharp, piercing pain shot through (Y/n’s) head. Now that the adrenaline from Hawks pounding on his window was subsiding, he seemed to remember how much his head was hurting.

He fumbled down, catching himself on the foot of his bed while Keigo lurched forward. “You good?” He mumbled, taking off his black wool glove.

He rested the back of his palm on (Y/n’s) forehead, before signing uncontently and replacing his hand with his lips. Even if he was burning up, (Y/n) froze.

After a while, Keigo drew his head back. “You’re burning up...”

Silence. Hawks awkwardly chuckled and played it off by running his hand through his hair.

“Lips are more sensitive than hands are-so I was just...you need to get to bed!” Keigo quickly stood up, gently ushering the sick hero to his bed. Pulling up the thick-set covers, Keigo hazily tosses his jacket to the corner and discarded his other glove.

“Try and get some rest. Did that dude’s quirk from yesterday do this?” He got a nod in response. “Alright. I’m gonna go change and get you some shit.”

With that and a warm smile, Keigo disappeared through the bedroom door. (Y/n) followed him with his eyes, right before he was out of sight, then let his eyes droop close.

———

“Pssst.”

A finger poked at (Y/n’s) cheek. He grumbled, furrowing his brows and keeping his eyes screwed shut. He heard a sigh from somewhere above him.

Something feathery tickled him from underneath his nose. He scrunched his nose up, expecting the odd feeling to go away, before feeling a sneeze build up. The watery feeling course through his nose before his head shot up every-so-slightly to let out a weak “Achoo!”

Keigo snickered. (Y/n) finally opened his eyes. Keigo was sitting beside him, now in casual clothes, holding a convince store bag and a red feather. The feather flew out of his hand and stuck itself on his back.

“Sorry I was out for so long. You didn’t have jack shit in your house, so I bought some medicine and takeout since I know you won’t eat soup and I can’t cook.”

It was true. The only thing Pro Hero Hawks is allowed to do is heat up a hotdog, and even then he might break the microwave. And (Y/n) won’t eat soup he made if his life depended on it. If he can’t even turn on the stove, what makes you think that he’d drink a whole bowl of soup made by him and not die?

“Whad’ja get?” (Y/n’s) voice came out more gravely and deep than he expected. Under different circumstances, that would’ve been kinda hot. Keigo pulled out things one by one from the bag.

“Ok so, I got painkillers, a cooling pack, a heating pad just in case your stomach starts hurting, a thermometer, and I found these cool matching red bird keychains and I bought them on impulse. One for you and one for me~ I also bought 2 beef bowls”

Keigo layed all the items down either on the bed or on the table beside it, holding up the keychains last. Shaking them around a bit, turns out there was a small bell inside both of them. (Y/n) tried, and failed, to hide his growing smile.

Keigo placed the cooling pack on (Y/n’s) previously burning forehead. The sudden coldness forced an involuntary groan from the bed sick male. He chuckled.

“Sorry. Deal with that for awhile and I’ll feed you~” Hawks saddled up in the spot next to him, holding the two plastic bowls and worming his way underneath the covers. He placed the food down on his lap and switched on the tv.

They sat in silence, the only thing being the sounds of the tv filling the room with the occasional reaction or snicker from the two. Keigo alternated between shoveling a forkful of rice and beef into his mouth, then feeding his boyfriend and carefully making sure none spilled onto his bed. The news reporter droned on onscreen, their voice being tuned out by the two hero’s.

“By the way, Keigo,” (Y/n) started, once he swallowed his food. Keigo gave a hum of acknowledgment, holding up a finger to (y/n), then to his mouth until he finished chewing. Thickly swallowing, Keigo hummed again.

“You were supposed to patrol today. With one of my sidekicks. What happened to that?”

Keigo looked at (Y/n), before looking back at the tv so causally. For a while he said nothing, until he opened his mouth.

“I ditched.”

(Y/n) made a sputtering noise. His shock turned into a long string of hacks and coughs, which Keigo waited ever-so-patiently for him to calm down from. “You ditched?! Keigo, you’re the no. 2 hero! You can’t be caught ditching!”

“Relaaaaax,” Keigo leaned farther into the bed cushions. “I told my agency and your stupid sidekick man that I was gonna check on you. It was a valid excuse.”

“Still!” (Y/n) rubbed at his temples. Hawks shoveled another forkful of food into his mouth. “You’re sitting here watching tv with me instead of working!”

“I needed a break. Plus,” Keigo held up his unfinished bowl of food defensively.

“I can’t believe you.”

“I love you too~”

(Y/n) sighed.

“I hope you get sick.” Hawks chuckled, saying something about being immune to all sicknesses.

Needless to say, (y/n) was patrolling with one of Keigos sidekicks the next day.

——————

[orbdog]

ignore how like...stupid red my hands are here but >_>

i got two more figures in the build a portal set! :] i originally wasnt planning on going all in to build the portal, as that isnt really where my interests lie when it comes to figure collecting, but i already have the zombified piglin and the brute on the way so...why not? these little figures make me so happy, and having an end goal of making the whole portal has given me something to look forward to!

i really need to take pictures before i open these things. but first, heres the wither skeleton!

as always the detail on this little guy is super neat. its very hard to get on camera, but instead of having different painted sections for all the shades of gray and black, they have different textures! which looks really great.

because of his big ol head and little skinny legs he struggles to stand up on his own, and his center of balance gets even worse when you pop the stone sword in his hand. he just kinda topples over lol im sure this is just a problem with the regular skeleton as well. his arms also dont pop out at an angle like the piglins do. i assume this is because theyre too small for that, or theres just no need to since most of the time in game hes gonna be in one of like, two poses, but i thought it was fair to at least mention that.

hes still really cool, and he came with the inside of the portal so of course i had to get him.

no real complaints though!! love the guy.

up next, my first (and so far only) non nether mob: THE GOAT

im obsessed with this guy. the level of detail on such a small and weirdly shaped figure is awesome. the layers of wool, his big dopey head, i just love it. hes got some okay articulation for what they were working with, his head moves up and down for proper Head Bonkin and his legs move as well. he also game with a spawn egg??? which is such an odd choice for an item, but it did give me the chance to give the piglin way too much power

aaaand yeah! those are the the next two in the set! im still waiting on the piglin brute to ship out (preorders =_=) and im still on the hunt for the strider (which is either a preorder or its. on sale at target?? i dont know its very mysterious) and a creeper that doesnt have a super huge upcharge.

but wait ...whats this? A BONUS KIND OF IMPULSE BUY THAT IM ACTUALLY SUPER HAPPY WITH??

THATS RIGHT BABY WE GOT THE GHAST!!!!!!!

this is genuinely one of the coolest things in my collection. quite possibly outshining the ruined portal lego set in my favorite piece of minecraft merchandise. almost....maybe.

not only is it the second best nether mob, its also a WEAPON. with the button on the back you can shoot out these little plastic "fireball" chips at the face of your nearest enemy!

it comes with ten of the slightly translucent pieces of plastic. i definitely didnt look directly at the business end while seeing how it works right after opening. nope. not at all.

the cool part though, is that a plastic plate in the face moves up when you push the button in, revealing its "attack" face

something about this is just so cool to me. they didnt have to add that detail at all but it makes it all the more special. another thing they didnt have to do but did?

ALL OF THE LEGS ARE ARTICULATED???? what a cool touch! theyre set at different lengths, and when tilted slightly backwards like in game, it stands up on its own even when its full of chips. makes it perfect to sit at the back of some kinda display like its floating behind everything. its pretty much to scale with the other figures as well which is really nice.

the perfect discreet weapon no home intruder will ever expect! :D (i do not condone ghast related violence)

anyway, overall i really dont have any complaints about any of these figures so far. theyre all lovely in their own ways, all look great on their own or with other figures.

[allybeardsleycamoshirt]

50 questions

I was tagged by @fineosaur thanks dear this was entertaining

what is the colour of your hairbrush? bright orange

name a food you never eat? I do not love fish despite being from a place well known for seafare. pass. 

are you typically too warm or too cold? cold all the time, baby. i will lose circulation in my toes for no goddamn reason

what were you doing 45 minutes ago? hopping off a zoom call and clocking out of work early

what's your favourite candy bar? probably almond joys

have you ever been to a professional sports game? yeah but nothing major league because I’ve never cared about sports enough for someone to bring me to one. I went to local minor league games sporadically as a kid.

what is the last thing you said out loud? I probably have talked out loud to myself and forgot but the last thing I said to someone else was “bye have a good tour” to my coworker

what is your favourite ice cream? i had the best ice cream i’ve ever had this summer and it was burnt honey with pear and ginger. but that’s fancy shit. if we are talking what I keep in the freezer then probably dairy free cookies and cream. or matcha mochi. 

what was the last thing you had to drink? i’m drinking throat-coat tea rn bc ~*~*I might be getting sick*~*~

do you like your wallet? well enough. it was a graduation gift (high school graduation, so I’ve had it quite a while). it was more my style then than now but I have no reason to get something new.

what is the last thing you ate? lunch: leftover dal and roti that I made last night

did you buy any new clothes last weekend? nope. I need to get rid of some clothes before I buy anything. tis the season for turning out my closet. I’ve also been trying to only do online, secondhand shopping OR buy sustainable/organic/ethical clothing when I can

what's the last sporting event you watched? I haven’t the faintest idea lol I really really dislike sports. I think I was actively watching some world cup matches while I was in spain two summers ago. 

what is your favourite flavour of popcorn? something cheesy and/or herbal

who is the last person you sent a text message to? my mom! she just texted me that she was watching New Moon and analyzing every line which is literally my favorite hobby

ever go camping? I used to as a kid but now I prefer to air bnb instead of roughing it when I hike and honestly it’s more because I love air bnbs than a dislike of camping of any kind

do you take vitamins? I try to remember to take a skin/hair/nails supplement. lately i’ve been taking vitamin c and zinc to ward off illness but idk if that’s working out

do you regularly attend a place of worship? nah i don’t even do it irregularly

do you have a tan? no. even when I do it can barely be considered a tan. I am so white I’m nearly translucent, I freckle out in the summer and burn when I’m less lucky

do you prefer chinese or pizza? chinese!!! although I appreciate a well-made pizza very much.

do you drink your soda through a straw? I don’t drink soda

what colour socks do you usually wear? usually black but I have lots of multicolored wool socks as well

do you ever drive above the speed limit? yes but not very much, speeding makes me anxious

what terrifies you? idk man. everything and nothing all at once

look to your left, what do you see? my bedside table. it’s refurbished to the original wood and used to belong to my great-grandfather. it currently houses my tea, a lamp, various lotions, a scrunchy, gold hoop earrings, hair scissors, and a tv remote

what chore do you hate most? probably taking out the trash. or scrubbing the tub because it never pays off as well as I want it to

what do you think of when you hear an Australian accent? Australia...lol sorry dumb b*tch answer

what's your favourite soda? I don’t really drink soda - it was a weird, furtive decision I made as a 7 year old never to drink it because I vaguely knew it wasn’t good for you...and also I didn’t like carbonation. now I’ll drink it in a cocktail I suppose, or I’ll drink non-American sodas just for the experience

do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? drive thru. damn i want fries

what's your favourite number? 7!

who’s the last person you talked to? my coworker

favourite cut of beef? idk really but fancier cuts are nicer to cook with in general

last song you listened to? I Know A Place - MUNA. can’t get enough of that one recently. gay girl bands only.

last book you read? I just finished Saturday by Ian McEwan

favourite day of the week? one where I am not working

can you say the alphabet backwards? I can do the first bit but then i lose interest

how do you like your coffee? english breakfast tea, one sugar and a dash of almond milk

favourite pair of shoes? my birkenstocks

time you normally get up? 6:50 on weekdays, not much longer on weekends

what do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets? I haven’t seen enough sunrises to really make a decision. perhaps sunsets because they are more accessible to me lol

how many blankets on your bed? one thick duvet, throw blankets on top as needed

describe your kitchen plates? most of them are white and square

describe your kitchen at the moment? slightly more kept than usual

do you have a favourite alcoholic drink? cider and natural wine are my go-to. but lately i love a homemade aperol spritz. and a gin & tonic anywhere is great

do you play cards? not consistently but yes. I get very competitive but also it takes me a long time to grasp a new game

what colour is your car? burnt orange

can you change a tire? I’ve never done it myself but I think I know how to?? I could probably figure it out. however I probably wouldn’t try to do it myself unless I was totally stranded

your favourite state? Maine - my home state/where I live. Maybe I’d like Washington/Oregon more but I haven’t been yet

favourite job you've had? running a women’s/gender resource center

im gonna tag: @thelandofnothing @lightninginabottle0613 @go-catch-a-chickn @greeneyedwildthing

[shirtlesssammy]

7x01: Meet the New Boss

Then:

Cas is God now, and I’ve never been more devout.

Now:

We start right where we left off. Cas wants the rest of TFW to love and respect him but they only fear him. Well, dude, you can explode them with a snap of your finger. Dean asks if he’s going to kill them. He has no need; They’re powerless against him, so they’re not going to try anything. Dean pleads with Cas again. But all Cas says is that he hopes, for their sake, this will be the last time they see him, and he’s gone. 

Dean asks Sam how he’s doing. Sam falls, cuts his hand, and sees visions of Hell. So, peachy. 

God!Cas is really taking the whole God Complex to a new level. He kills off a ton of angels in Heaven. “It is a new day on Earth and in Heaven. Rejoice.”

Dean’s soul Baby is once again in a sad state of disrepair. Sam’s resting while Bobby and Dean discuss trying to find where God II is chilling. Bobby suggests looking for a trenchcoat on a tortilla and I sometimes love watching episodes I don’t rewatch a lot because that was funny. Dean has no clue how to deal with Cas, but he can fix his car, and when Sam wakes, he can work on fixing him too. 

Later, Dean’s grabbing a beer when Sam walks into the kitchen. He’s okay! Okay enough, at least. Dean tells him to come help with the car and they’ll talk about what to do about Cas. Sam starts to walk out when.

A homophbic preacher is giving a shitty sermon when God walks into the room. I will always stan the God!Cas that says, “I am utterly indifferent to sexual orientation.” I mean, God!Cas is completely out of control, but just like our Cas, he was trying to do his best in a world that’s far too easy to do your worst. 

Cas kills the minister and then hears a whisper of his name. He stumbles but walks out of the church. 

Sam’s in the basement getting some tools when he starts to have visions of Hell. Bobby finds him. 

There are news reports that 200 different religious leaders are dead in an “act of God.” One eyewitness reports: “We all saw him. No beard. No robe. He was young, and sexy.” WHooEE. (Sidenote: Chuck has a beard and a robe. Lol.) The Ku Klux Klan is forced to disband. New Age motivational speakers: Gone. I mean, God!Cas, bby, these two are not the same. Sam thinks they should try talking to Cas again. Dean has closed that door. 

Cas healed leprosy? Bless the God that overrides pharmaceutical companies and their greed for profit. 

Cas finds Crowley hiding out in a trailer park. 

He tells Crowley that he will remain King of Hell but Cas will control where the souls go. Crowley has no say in the situation so he graciously accepts. 

Sam is up late reading when he has a nightmare vision of getting choked by a chain. He wakes and calls for Dean and Bobby. 

They’re busy in the shed with Baby and the 5000th beer of the episode. Also, Dean’s wearing his cute blue jumper and why can’t they bring that back? 

They discuss Sam. Sam overhears their conversation. Sam and Bobby really want to find something to get to Cas. Dean does not want to poke that bear. Dean does suggest summoning Crowley. 

They want a spell to bind Death. 

Cas is out and about healing true believers while he is deteriorating. 

Then he opens his shirt (YAY!) only to reveal a roiling belly full of something that wants out (NAY!). 

Bobby gets a Fedex from Crowley: The binding spell for Death. They have a lot of the ingredients but they still need “an act of God, crystallized.” Bobby found something at a house about 9 hours away. 

That night after some quick thinking on Dean’s part, (“Excuse me, do you have any Grey Poupon?”), they head inside the house to steal their act of God. 

The residents of the house interrupt their burglary (they keep the fulgurite in an actual glass case smh). Dean turns around to see a shotgun pointed at him and has ZERO concerns. In two shakes of a lamb’s tail he has the homeowners trussed up. After a polite introduction, they begin preparing for the ritual. Sam and Bobby work on spell ingredients while Dean does the real heavy lifting and carefully arranges a bag of greasy takeout and a soda on a side table. 

The ritual begins. The building shakes. “Um, hello? Death?” Dean peers around nervously and comes face to face with newly bound Death. 

Dean immediately fetches the bag of greasy food - the best fried pickle chips around! Hey, Death, if you won’t eat those please pass ‘em over here. 

“This is about Sam’s hallucinations, I assume?” Dean’s jaw drops down the ground. WHAT hallucinations, Sam? I can’t believe you are keeping something from your brother! 

Dean files this new piece of information away and they get back on track. They need Death to kill God. Because “we said so and we’re the boss of you.” Dean. Honey. 

Our poor Dean-tastrophe gets saved from himself by the appearance of Our Lord and Hot Guy on a Tortilla, Castiel himself. Death is utterly unimpressed. 

“You look awfully like a mutated angel to me,” Death snarks, and informs Cas that he’s due to explode soon. In addition to a major overload of souls, Cas has also swallowed Leviathan - ancient hungry monsters that predate angels. They’ve been locked away in Purgatory for time out of mind, but now they’re just a step away from a delicious new world and their doorway is Cas’s gut. 

Cas brushes away this concern.

“Where is he?” Cas asks Death about God!God. “I did a service taking his place.” Oh honey no.

Dean quickly gets tired of the Death versus Castiel snark-off and orders Death to “kill ‘im now.” 

Death lifts his hand with grim amusement to smite Cas, when Cas snaps his fingers and frees Death. Uh. Wherps. Death strolls over to the pickle chips, reassures the frightened homeowners, and Castiel flaps away to…

A political campaign headquarters. Cas heads in to kill the senator running for re-election who has caused “poverty and despair in God’s name.” His stern facade cracks and he starts to laugh wildly. Uh. Oh no.

Death berates Dean for not preventing Castiel’s catastrophic god complex. He warned him, after all! About the souls! It wasn’t a cryptic clue at all! “Maybe you should find somebody better to tip off,” Dean suggests with rising ire. 

Death suggests that his own time is better spent on another planet. At the time, I pictured Death swimming with our tentacled interstellar friends in a sea of stars but now I like to think Death planned a jaunt to a parallel world to talk to jetsetting Dean and Sam instead. 

Sam tries to smooth it over and asks for a smidge of help. Death tells them that if Cas returns it all to Purgatory, that will be enough to save their world. He arranges for another eclipse as well to help them build another door. Finally, he warns Dean about ever trying to bind him again and compliments him on the pickle chips. 

Cas wakes up. He’s covered in blood, lying in a pool of blood, and he’s surrounded by...the dead bodies of the political campaign workers. Cas killed everyone, and he killed them bloody. Viciously. 

Back at Bobby’s, Dean has his boots kicked up on the table with a drink in hand. Sam tries to rally him to fight to get Cas back from the brink. Dean isn’t buying it - not from the guy who’s been hiding his hallucinations from everyone else. (Okay, but pot kettle black, Dean Bean.) 

“It’s under control,” Sam insists. Dean would still rather escape into a life of porn and alcohol binging. He then finds news footage of the campaign office and sees the demented smile on Cas’s face. Erm. Not good. 

Sam doesn’t give up, though! In the junkyard, he prays to Cas to let them help him. Back inside with Dean, Sam’s ready to sink into a chair and give up when Cas appears. 

He looks...rough.

Cas asks for help. He talks Dean and Sam through setting up the ritual while he slumps on the floor. “I feel regret,” he tells Dean, wishing that he were strong enough to fix Sam’s wall before he dies. Dean’s not ready to hand out any hugs. BUT I AM.

Sam’s off getting blood for the ritual when he runs into an old face. Lucifer confronts him and tells Sam that he’s still trapped in the cage with two archangels and has been hallucinating everything since. “This is my best torture yet. Make you believe that you’re free and then yank the wool off of your eyes.” Yeesh, that’s clearly a move Lucifer would’ve learned from Michael. Who learned it from Chuck, right? 

Dean heads off to find Sam and discovers a jar of blood in the hallway...and no Sam. Pressed for time, he rushes back to paint the sigil on the wall. They prop Cas up and start the spell. “I’m sorry, Dean,” Cas gets out just before the spell ignites. 

The wall rips away and then light blasts out of Castiel. 

Mood, amirite?

Cas lies on the floor, unresponsive. He’s cold and not breathing. He’s DEAD, JIM! “Damn it,” Dean mutters as sorrow steals over his features.

And then Cas blinks awake. And insta-heals! He sits up, blinking. “That was unpleasant.” Cas has his usual half bewildered half sorrowful expression. He swears that he’ll redeem himself to Dean, and Dean seems at least halfway receptive to that plan! He won’t push him away!

Except...Cas suddenly pushes Dean and Bobby away. He crumples in on himself and shouts that they’ve held on! The leviathans! In a moment, any trace of Cas is gone as Leviathan!Cas grins maniacally and tosses Dean across the room. 

“This is going to be so much fun,” Cas says...and knowing how it ends up we agree! Pining, baby. Pining!

These Quotes are the Monster Under Your Bed:

What a brave little ant you are

Miracles, mass visions, trenchcoat on a tortilla? I don't know what I'm lookin' for

I am utterly indifferent to sexual orientation

We all saw him. No beard, no robe. He was young...and...and sexy. He had a raincoat

Who feels like hog tying death tonight?

You know how I'm gonna deal? I'm gonna stuff my pie-hole, I'm gonna drink, and I'm gonna watch some Asian cartoon porn and act like the world's about to explode because it is

I'm gonna find some way to redeem myself to you

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive! 

[hey-hamlet]

BNHA AU Ideas: A Poor Bird

Also on AO3! (if you recognise the au it might be because I started a full fic which i abandoned because i realised a full canon retelling is l o n g. i’ll still probably write bits and pieces like the other AUs) 

TL;DR:  Izuku isn't quirkless. Not that Inko would ever let you know that.

AKA: Good dad Enji, bad mum Inko

TW: Child Abuse

Inko Quirk: Attraction of small objects Issues:

Many

Soooooooo many

Hisashi  Quirk: All for one

Izuku Quirk: Push and Pull

Allows him to push objects away from him, or pull objects towards him.

If the object is heavier than him, the force acts on him instead

Injuries

Crush injures on the hand, never healed correctly

Limited range of movement + tremors

Issues

Feels horrifically ill if he uses his quirk, has flashbacks. Cant use it at all until he is trained by allmight

Can't remember his mother hurting him outside of flashbacks and nightmares. Only knows it happened bc katsuki can remind him

PTSD

Dislikes: Being called "cute" or being implied to be helpless but he can suck it up if hes not feeling too shitty.

Enji 47

First-year in All Might's final year.

Met Rei when he first reached the top ten, aged 22 and married her a year later, with fuyumi on the way just a quickly

Knows ab. All Mights other form

Rei 48

Does ballet!

Shouto 15

No scar

Yet, anyway. We can fix that.

Touya 19 Changes

A little less crispy fried, still scarred by his own quirk. Wears gold contacts undercover as Dabi

Natsuo

21

Studying Medicine

Fuyumi

23

She's a teacher!

Mushy Stuff feat. The Todoroki’s

enji is still number 2 hero. hes actually really nice? he just has a major case of resting bitch face. hes from a rich family, he got dragged out to a ballet to celebrate his becoming number 2 and he was whining we hes like, 21 and doesnt wanna see a ballet he just wants to go to work, or get drinks with his sidekicks. hes being a bit of a grump and his parents are living for their grumpy son bc he still has Round cheeks and hes adorable

anyway its been like, 20 minutes and the show finally starts and enji is like "god i can go home after this and s l e e p" but like, the lady comes out on stage and hes in love. tall, white hair and incredibly graceful. his mum has to hit him bc hes blushing so hard hes getting uncomfortably warm

after the show he like, breaks into her dressing room. hes got his hands clamped over his eye and he like "oh my god im so sorry if you are changing i promise im not looking i just have somewhere to be after this but please what do i have to do to get you to agree to go to dinner with me"

and rei is r e d bc the grouchy number 2 hero has burst into her dressing room and hes bright red and his hair is smouldering slightly and she just laughs and pulls his hands away from his eyes and tells him she'd love to. enji just walks out, faintly dazed with rei's number on his phone and hes so ridiculously happy he cant stop his hair from smoking

anyway, they date, they get married etc

but rei's ballet company is threatening to drop her if she has kids bc she wont be "perfect" anymore and she's torn up about it bc enji started dating her because of ballet and what if he hates her? but enji is like ",,, i kinda,,, love you? plus you and our hypothetical kids with be gods gift to this earth. i will buy you a whole ballet company if i have to"and shes crying and everything is soft

she has fuyumi and she is the worlds most perfect baby and enji is the most protective dad on this planet

then she has dabi bc she wanted fuyumi to have a sibling and dabi is born w his quirk and sneezes embers and enji is crying because his son is perfect

and then they have another kid bc they are sickeningly in love and their children are all wonderful and they have natsuo who likes to eat not food things and rei loves her chunky toddler. enji is crying because "hes gonna be such a big strong man" and also because natsuo keeps trying to eat his flaming beard

and then they have shouto bc "fuck it more children” hes born and rei is crying bc "look he looks just like you enji!" and enji is crying because "rei he looks just like you,,," and fuyumi is crying bc she has another little brother, dabi is trying not to cry bc hes a big strong 5 yearold and natsuo is like,,, 3 and hes trying to est his baby brothers hair and hes perfect

also!!! dabi is a double agent. he loves his dad v much and is pretending to be a villain to keep him and the rest of his family safe

enjis that dad that’s so fucking embarrassing and he does it on purpose?? during the sports festival he’s in his seat and he’s just “sHOUTOOOO” everyone turns and they’re just ???? todoroki s bright red but he’s yelling back

“wHAT”

endeavour, making a lil heart with his hands: “i love you and i’m very proud of you ♥️”

hi please enji sending photos of his kids to allmight all the time. all might fucking adores these little children and sends them so much random merch bc they are so fucking cute. he holds natsuo who’s trying to eat his weird bunny ear hair and he’s just

i love,,,these kids,,,

natsuo is a Chunky Boy. hes a toddler with the density of lead, hes so fucking heavy and round and allmight adores him. shouto looks at you judgingly even as a baby and allmight feels personally attacked

Pre canon + Training arc

in this au, izuku has a stronger version of his mothers quirk. like, really good telekinesis and he wants to be a hero! she hits him if he uses his quirk, makes him say hes quirkless and weak, says she just wants to protect him. she withholds food to keep him "perfect" because

"your father ruined me, now im all covered in ugly stretch marks and im disgusting, but ill make you perfect"

inko makes izuku wear feminine clothes and keep his hair long bc shes kinda trying to make him into like, the perfect version of her? and she always threatens to scrub izukus "fathers" freckles off his face with steel wool

shes ,,, conflicted about Katsuki

(katsuki knows something is up w inko and izuku so hes not terrible)

because she doesnt want her "perfect" sweet son to become brash like Katsuki but she kinda,,, likes her son being the damsel in distress that has to be saved by his stronger friend? and thinks that if izuku has a guard he won't need to be strong himself if they play in her house, inko is the villain, katsuki is the hero and izuku has to be the hostage that needs to be saved.

izuku tells katsuki about his quirk one day and he mentions it in front of inko. katsuki is almost thrown out of the house and he can hear izuku screaming from inside, and hes trying to get through the door bc his friend his crying and its not his fault. he stays there with this ear pressed against the door for hours. izuku stops crying after 45 minutes, inko starts saying shes sorry after 3 hours

inko crushed her son's hands

inko needs her hands for her quirk to work and assumes izuku does too? So she methodically crushes every finger and his wrists to try to ruin his ability to use his quirk. izukus hands heal but he cant write without it hurting and that makes him really upset bc he loves to draw. its the only thing that his mum lets him do that he enjoys. inko says sorry but she still blames him

"im sorry it hurt honey but mummy had to do it, you understand right?"

from that day forward katsuki starts training to be a hero bc he doesnt want anyone getting hurt like izuku ever again. he helps izuku train too in secret, they work together to lie because izuku wants to he a hero, and if he can survive his mother? he can do anything.

after that time w inko he cant use his quirk. like, physically? he can, but he has panic attacks and freezes up if he tries. basically izuku gets bullied for being quirkless, but not by Katsuki

ep 1 happen kind like normal. izuku asks "can i be a hero without a quirk?" allmight says no but he manages to use his quirk to save katsuki and katsuki hugs him as he cries, izuku pulls katsuki from the sludge villain w his quirk, allmight saves the day

the heroes are like, 2 secs from scolding izuku for using his quirk but the boy is having a horrific panic attack and they would feel bad ab it. also katsuki looks like hes gonna commit real actual murder if someone so much as touches izuku so they awkwardly walk away

allmight confronts izuku ab. the whole "i though you were quirkless" thing and izuku has another panic attack and all might feels terrible izuku is basically apologising for having a quirk??? that that sits really badly w toshi so he asks izuku if he can help him and katsuki train to be heroes and izuku cries and says yes

izuku looks at the time and starts crying again and allmight is like??? did i do something wrong???

izuku is sobbing that he doesnt wanna go home because "she'll be so angry" and toshi is like,,, holy shit im just gonna steal this child i guess but izuku convinces him hes overacting and izuku runs home, after toshi gives him his phone number and stresses that izuku is allowed to call even for "stupid" reasons

mitsuki is confused that katsuki looks so worried hes like,, pacing and he keeps sticking his head outside to look over the balcony to the street and checking his phone bc izuku hasnt told him what happened yet and hes scared that inko finally snapped and hurt him too badly to recover from

inko??? wasnt happy

shes beating izuku with heavy stuff and asking him if he thinks shes a terrible mother or something. izuku is crying because hes sorry and he didnt mean to use his quirk he was just scared. inko starts crying and is patching him up and says that she only hurts him because she loves him and wants him to be happy and perfect . izuku doesnt get food for 2 days after that, he has to sneak out to train w katsuki and all might. all might actually asks katsuki ab. it

"his mother is fucking crazy. my mum doesnt believe me but shes batty. lost it when her husband left and is trying to keep izuku like a fucking doll, its creepy"

izuku tends to wear gloves of long sleeves, or draws over his hands bc they are c o v e r e d in scares. on a particularly bad training day izuku cant hold his water bottle and he cant stop himself tearing up so katsuki holds the bottom for it and izuku is so embarrased and gratful and all might wants to cry because who hurt this kid???

like,, three? months into the training izuku comes up to all might and the kid is shaking and pale but he looks so determined and he says in the softest voice "i want to start training my quirk" and all might smiles like the sun

Entrance Exam

So allmight has already given his quirk to Mirio, he and nighteye made up. Hes out heroing, saves izuku from the sludge villain, Izuku doesn’t cling on but there is something ab the way Izuku looks at him that worries allmight so he stays to answer his question and runs out of time. Izuku asks if he can be a hero w/o a quirk, allmight hesitates. Izuku just quietly says "its ok, thank you for your time" and leaves. All might feels terrible.

He realises the sludge villain is gone, curses and runs towards the explosions. Izuku is wandering around trying to find Katsuki and sees the sludge villain has him. W/o wasting a moment he runs towards him, trying to pull him free. He uses his quirk to pull him out by the shirt and stands infront of katsuki to try to keep him safe. Allmgiht rushes in to help.

The heroes try to tell Izuku off but katsuki just yells at them and they hurry away. They run into Yagi and he tries to talk to Izuku but katsuki just yells at him. Allmight explains his form thing and tells izuku he can totally be a hero but oh hey werent you quirkless?

Katsuki is ab. To rip Allmights head off, izuku just explains he doesn’t much like his quirk. All might asks if he can help train the two of them to be heroes and they agree 100%. Izuku has to run home and leaves Katsuki w allmight. Katsuki tells him he'll need to look after Izuku and walks off in the same direction. Allmight is l o s t

Izuku gets beaten byhis mother for using his quirk, sneaks out to train with yagi and katsuki. Yagi is worried but there isnt much he can do. Mirio and Sir show up sometimes to chat w allmight and help training, All might admits hes going into teaching bc hes going to have to retire soon and Izuku tells him he'll be amazing at it, katsuki just roasts allmight

Day of the entrance exam mirio wishes them both good luck .

Izuku has told his mother hes taking the gen-ed written exam and has permission to go get food with katsuki afterwards. He has applied for gen-ed and the hero course and honestly doesn’t believe he'll get into heroics but he has to try.

Someone pushes him, Occhako catches him, they all say hello and enter the written exam hall. Izuku finds it easy as pie so hes honestly kinda worried that hes missing something (hes not, hes just smart). There is a moral dilema at the end of the test and he answers it in a way that concerns the markers (in a self esteem kinda way)

So they enter the auditorium and and izuku finds out he isnt in katsukis arena which makes im panic, but he tells him to suck it up because hes a grown as teenager and can handle himself which cheers izuku up. Iida calls them out for talking.

At the arena hes having a quiet breakdown, sees ochako and lights up, goes to talk to her but Iida tells him off for being a trouble maker. Someone in the crowd snidly asks "when did they start letting 12-year-old girls take the exam" and izuku feels like dirt. Mic calls start and his fight/flight is so overreactive he throws himself straight into the exam

Pulling rubble and crap w great force through the robots, he gets around 20 points? But after a while he just shuts down. He feels sick and he hates his quirk and his mother and his hnds ache and he just c a n t do it anymore.

Aizawa watches this kid in arena 4 crumple to the ground and he spares a moment to be sad for the kid. He looked promising, but its not the first time someone has cracked under the pressure durring the entrance exam. He sees allmgiht looking saddened out of the corner of his eye, locked on the screen, and thinks maybe this kid is why he asked to be excluded from the judging team.

Izuku sees the zero pointer and cant even bring himself to run away. But then he hears ochako cry out and instantly sprints towards her.

He pulls himself into the air and pulls as many shards of scrap metal and rebar as he can, and pulls them with all his might through the 0 pointer, turning into a giant pincusion. He runs out of energy, and just lets himself fall.

Aizawa feels his heart sink bc the kid is smiling.

Ochako saves him at the last moment, and hes miraculously uninjured but so out of energy he can barely stand. Recovery girl hands him gummies which he gratefully accepts and drags himself out of the exam. He meets katsuki by the entrance. He sees his tiny mess of a friend, pale and shakey but smiles and he picks him up and hugs him even though he will deny it till the day he dies. izuku is sure he failed but for one moment, using his quirk? he just felt so complete and free that he doesnt mind if he fails, just because he got to enjoy that one moment. bakugo tells izuku that hes gonna drag him into the hero course by his hair and izuku giggles

They go get food bc they need some relief.

Izuku doesn’t think he's in the heroics department but is hopeful anyway.

he and bakugo spend the week waiting for their letters "studying" for ua (aka, designing hero costumes, coming up with names, planning the fuck out of everything bc they are both crazy nervous and will never admit it)

inko hands izuku his mail and izuku is so nervous because if she looked? its game over but she just smiles happily and tells him to tell her if he got into gen ed. or not so they can invite the bakugo's over to celebrate

izuku walks calmly until his mum is out of sight, then he tears down the hall, stuffs a towel under the door and opens his letter under his blankets so she cant hear it. its allmgiht on the screen and he cries.

and he got in and he cries some more

and then he has a quick panic attack becuase holy shit this is a lot of lies hes going to have to spin because he came first in the entrance exam. his mum asks him if he got in and hes so grateful that his voice doesnt shake when he cries, as he says back "i got into gen. ed mum!!"

He finds out he got in and he starts to panic bc what is he going to tell his mum? Some point later Inko yells at him for just sitting around so he runs out of the house and to a cat café, and hes just sobbing because his face hurts from where she slapped him and he just wants to get out of the rain.

Shinso sees this kid, curses his heroic instincts and pays for 2 hours for him and the mystery kid. He just wanted to wallow in self pity for failing the exam he knew he was going to fail, but now hes got a crying kid to deal with

So turns out the kid is his age and is called Midoriya. As only izuku can do, hes shinso spilling his guts ab the hero course and his quirk in around 20 minutes. Izuku explains a bit about what his mother did to him, and that he got into the hero course but if his mother finds out hes scared shitless of what she'll do.

Shinsou’s family before Aizawa was shit, he gets it. And he sees this cute green-haired sobbing kid gently kiss a fat tabby on the top of its little head and decides he'd die for him.

They plot that they'll change shirts at the start of the day so inko doesn’t see the hero course shirt, and shinso will quickly tell him what they were doing in gen ed on the train home. Shinso does urge izuku to get help but izuku declines. His mother is sick and she's trying her best. She still loves him. Izuku is scared of who his dad is.

And it's not like anyone ever believed his soft, kind-looking mother could hurt her own son.

First day + Quirk Apprehension Test

Inasa is a recommendation student, along with Momo and Todoroki, was placed in Aizawa class bc his quirk is kinda wack.

Class does not contain Hagekure, Mineta is expelled

like, first day of school shinso is waiting down the road for izuku and bakugo is like,,, ha????? and shinso is like "oK So i have the hero course shirt, change behind a tree like a bunch of weirdos or wait for school" and izuku is like,,, “as much as my anxiety wants to change now so we wont be late i think kacchan might murder us if we change behind a tree" and bakugo is like??? "YeaH and WHO ARE YOU EXACTLY"

anyway! they take the bus and shinso explains that the bonded over a chubby tabby and that hes agreed to be izuku alibi and katsuki looks him up and down like ",,, you pass" and izuku giggles and shinso feels happy bc he didnt know the boy could giggle and its such a soft noise

anyway, izuku and shinso sprint into school to find a bathroom to change in, izuku tries not to cry on his hero shirt. they then proceed to speed walk to the correct class bc the other students have shown up and they dont wanna get yelled at. katsuki told izuku he could walk himself to class because "youre a big boy now" and izuku laughs again

izukus anxiety vs trauma is a continuous war bc anxiety says "hide behind friends" but trauma says "dont be weak and pathetic like inko says you are or shes been right the whole time"

izuku gets into class, bakugo is busy trying to scare iida bc iida is Really Getting On His Nerves. iida says hi to izuku and izuku almost cries before iida says that he was sorry for being a dick and then izuku almost cries again but bc hes happy

ochako bursts in like "OH MY GOD THE CUTE ONE GOT IN" and izuku is Red and like (a lil trauma but he shoves that way deep down) and says hi. aizawa crawls in and scares the actual shit out of everyone but izuku finds him super calming? bc hes just so fucking blunt and he doesnt have to look for double meanings

anyway, izuku gets called up to do the throw bc he came first and hearing aizawa say "use your quirk" made a cold sweat run through him but bakugo gave him a thumbs up so he felt a little better. The boy gets a crazy score. izuku gets a great score on all the stuff he can use his quirk for, but hes got terrible stamina/strength bc hes just so thin. hes placing like, first quarter of the class

so they finish, mineta gets kicked out

allmight is watching from behind a bush bc look at his boys go!!! his yelly boy and his crying boy!!. aizawa holds izuku back at the end of class, bakugo doesnt wanna leave him but tenya pushes him to the locker room

"so kid. thats a great quirk youve got there"

and izuku,,, really doesnt like talking about his quirk. he doesn't like using it. he and bakugo drew vines on his hands this morning to cover up the scars and hes tracing his fingers along them to keep himself from shaking.

aizawa looks him dead in the eye

"mind telling me why you are registered as quirkless?"

and izuku freezes. he cant breathe.

aizawa is waiting and his irritation turns to alarm when he realizes the kid i s n t m o v i n g. all might has seen izuku freak out before so he swoops in and sits izuku down on the ground and tries to get the kid to breath. he does but hes still shaking and all he'll stay is "im sorry" and "not again"

aizawa is very much shaken because izuku seemed pretty normal? then he remembered the kid shinso was talking about. allmight calls bakugo who runs back out onto the field, half in uniform and half in costume and hes trying to calm izuku down and he looks like,,, 2 seconds away from ripping aizawa head off and aizawa honestly thinks hes kinda deserves it lmao

its nearing the end of school and izuku isnt even down from his panic attack yet but bakugo n e e d s shinso to get over here so they can swap shirts or izuku is going to be in even more trouble than he already is. so bakugo is trying to get izuku to respond to anything, allmight has his hand on his not sons shoulder, aizawa feels like a piece of shit, and bakugo is trying to find shinso's contact number in izuku's phone

some of class a goes to look outside and aizawa lays into the and tells them to hurry up to class or he'll expell them all with mineta

anyway shinso comes running out bc his teacher is mic and is willing to let him do dumb stuff and shinso is like??? dad its been 1 day what did you do to the cat kiss boy?? shinso allmight and bakugo get izuku responsive enough that bakugo takes him to swap his shirts in the changing rooms and helps izuku clean up so its not obvious he was crying. shinso gets izukus stuff from his classroom. aizawa just turns to all might

“ok so what the fuck was that"

all might honestly shrugs "i barely know myself. kid has serious quirk trauma and is scared of his mother, thats all i can tell you" and aizawa is both concerned and annoyed bc ofcourse thsi si in his class

izuku and bakugo get home, alls good

Battle Trial

battle trial! its,,a ride

basically! izuku has his lil costume and ochako tells him he looks really cute and hes grateful + trauma. bakugo tells him he looks like hes ready to bust some heads which makes him feel better. todoroki is with iida on the villain team

they are chatting happily about have hero families and being melodramatic about being evil

Izuku is paired with inasa!

so izuku cant directly use his quirk on himself, but he can "push" against the ground, which sends him up. its useful for dodging but not sustainable

anyway, they work out that inasa's wind doesnt effect izukus telekinesis

basically:

izuku makes some dust, they roll in, todoroki is out and looking for them. he torches the dust but gets hit by a pebble to the temple. inasa is like, 100% impressed. they wrap todoroki up and inasa says sorry to his half/half bro. todoroki shrugs. bakugo is like, internally cheering and he has the most murderous smile

anyway, iida is melodramatic, inasa looses it laughing bc hes so funny and takes a big ol kick to the face. hes down, probs concussed but iida cant get in to tie him up because he almost gets squished by the currently moving bomb bc its paper mache its light and easy for izuku to pull on

iida decides he should probably take down izuku before anything happens, but at the last moment izuku pushes off the ground, dodging over iida and lightly tapping the bomb

hero team wins!!!

inasa and todoroki are both concussed which is awkward but its all g. izuku gets MVP but iida was a close second. bakugo like, friendly punches izuku in the arm and hes hiding behind bakugo bc people are looking at him but hes very happy

someone says "wow, your quirk is amazing" and hes like,,, "oh there goes my good mood." allmight and bakugo are about to tell this kid to shut the fuck up but get beaten to it by a concussed todoroki of all people

"its not the quirk its how he uses it you overipe melon"

izuku giggles until he cant breathe and bakugo is cackling. concussed todoroki looks so pleased with himsel

bakugo and kiri are teams up and they kick actual ass as the villains. like, crazy good, they take out the heroes and dont even have to let it run over time

because "if we win? we do it right."

izuku is like doing these little happy bounces and inasa is crying bc his partner is so pure

izuku and shinso meet up, change, go home

U.S.J.

Happens like 3 weeks in, not 3 days in. They need time to bond ok. Before the trip we get some general hyjinks.

the next day, its field trip time baby!!!

inasa makes izuku sit with him and todoroki and its a tight fucking fit bc they are sharing 2 seats. inasa has like,,, claimed this boy because he was so soft and izuku has a friend!! and hes very happy. hes like,, a little scared of todoroki but also kinda loves him for the overripe melon comment so

Kurogiri yeets the villains into the usj. allmight is out of time, aizawa runs in like normal. inasa, izuku and tsuyu get sent to the shipwreck zone. they do some cool shit honestly. inasa holds the 3 of them in the air, tsuyu hold the villains together as izuku yeets them into the hull of the ship and seals the hold and hopes the villains dont really care enough to break a hole in the ship. Inasa gets them all to shore

then they get to witness the nomu and izuku sees the punch thrown? and he moves without thinking, using all of his quirk he can to hold to nomus fist back. after he moves, inasa joins in, pushing the nomu back as much as the can. aizawa punches shigiraki and he gets m a d. shigiraki breaks the capture weapon and sends the nomu after tsuyu. inasa, who was closer, pushes her out of the way and takes the hit. its just like, 1 blow? but hes down to the count. aizawa tells tsuyu to take him and run

izuku wants to throw up

aizawa tries to get him to run but the nomu charges again and izuku has to pull aizawa out of the way. all they can do is play keep-away and aizawa is frustrated because no matter the training he has, he can't stand up to this thing. all he can do is rely on izuku's quirk, because the quirk can move faster than a human can. shigiraki gets sick of this, kurogiri uses momentum to send aizawa to the other side of the usj with kiri and Bakugo. they begin to run back to the plaza. izuku is scared, slips up, takes a hit. hes down, with broken ribs and his quirk is nearing overuse

shigiraki sees this kid's broken hands, laughs and makes the nomu crush them again

bakugo blasts in, grabs izuku. todoroki has the nomu trapped in ice, aizawa wraps izukus hands with what he was left of his capture weapon

all might bursts in. he has more of his quirk left bc he hasnt passed it on yet, takes out the nomu and has enough strength to still be standing. shigiraki goes to attack, and izuku basically uses the last of his strength to pull allmight towards him, then he collapses

the other heroes arrive with endeavour! because he was patrolling nearby and got the alert. is his agency in hosu? Yep! do i care? nope hes here to see his son!

aizawa is like, moossttlylyy ok? shigiraki got to his arm and he's got scrapes and sprains from being yeeted around by izuku's quirk but he's pretty ok. inasa has a punctured lung but is stabilized quickly. izukus bones arent fractured? but hes got a pretty bad crush injury to both hands + cracked ribs and low blood sugar. bakugo rides w him back to ua

shinso is there and hes a little panicky bc his dad and bro were in a villain attack. nezu comes into recovery girls office and is like "oh its ok! ive contacted everyone’s parents and they should be here soon" and bakugo is like "YOU DID WHAT"

nezu sweating ",,, what do you mean this is what im ment to do"

and allmight cringes; aizawa, on painkillers, is like, pretty concerned; bakugo is enraged. izuku isnt breathing. hes frozen, crying silently and hes perfectly still and it breaks recovery girls heart

hes got a big bruise of the side of his face, fyi

bakugo doesnt want to leave but recovery girl orders him out, all might gets made to leave as well. soon the only people left are inasa (unconscious) izuku (catatonic) and aizawa (guilty)

inko walks in. shes smiling. she grabs izuku by the hand, "its ok honey, mummy's here now!"and aizawa?? hes trying not to judge but he gets a terrible feeling in the pit of his stomach. inko pulls izuku from the bed by his crushed hand and izuku is silent. she has a hand wrapped around the back of his neck as she leads him out of the school

bakugo is at home and hes begging his mother to let him see izuku bur his mother wont let him because inko has been through something stressful and doesnt need you yelling! and bakugo is angry because shes never believed him about inko. he throws his plate against the wall and looks mitsuki dead in the eyes

"you'll regret that tomorrow. you'll regret that when you see what shes done to him"

his door slams

the day after the usj zuku isnt in school. shinso is waiting at the end of his street but only bakugo shows up. he looks defeated

"lets just go"

shinso spends the whole day in the hero course shirt

aizawa isnt surprized, loads of kids didnt show up to school the day after the usj, even non-hero kids, but then izuku isnt there the next day. bakugo is pacing, tugging at his hair as he waits for aizawa to show up. inasa looks lost, todoroki looks faintly confused, shinso is in the classroom, didnt leave to go to his own because bakugo doesnt know where midoriya is and hes waiting for aizawa

aizawa walks in with the bell. no izuku. his heart sinks. He looks around, and walks straight back out of class, sends mic to cover for him. he tells nezu. nezu has a terrible feeling and asks him and allmight to perform a wellness check. allmight uses his hero form, even though he doesnt have much time to waste, because this isnt a waste

they arrive at inkos house, they knock and she opens the door. shes smiling and asks if they would like to sit down, if they want some tea. there is blood under her fingernails

aizawa aks to use the bathroom, sneaks into midoriyas room. the kid is locked to the bed in the dark and aizawa wants to throw up bc he can smell blood and infection

inko took steel wool and scrubbed "off" every bruise on midoriya's skin to make him "clean" again

every mark

every cut

his hands are, oddly, untouched with their horrible crush marks healed by recovery girl as priority, but the side of his face, his ribs cage, the cuts on his arms and legs and back are raw. no skin, sticky blood dripping onto the sheets. aizawa goes over to izuku and he honestly smells like rotting meat because his room is hot and he has massive open injuries that are super infected. he tries to shake izuku awake and realizes the kid is burning. izuku fliches and is trying to pull away from aizawa, opening cuts and pulling at his wounds. hes so quiet aizawa wants to cry. he gently pats izukus hair and tells him he'll be safe now

hes walks out of the room and throws inko from the couch onto the floor, cuffing her. allmight is shocked, inko is screaming. aizawa cuffs inko to a couch and drags all might into izukus room and all might wants to cry

because, something aizawa hadn't noticed, every single piece of hero merch izuku owned has been ripped from its hiding place and crushed and torn on the floor. all might oh so gently breaks the cuffs holding into down and gently, gently picks him up. he cant stop the tears

izuku lets out the softest "im so sorry sensei" and aizawa has to leave the room. he sucker punches inko, calls nezu and an ambulance. inko is, thank god, unconscious now and the house is so quiet

so quiet aizawa can hear all might crying

mitsuki runs in bc she thinks her tiny friend is getting hurt and she sees her sons teacher sitting with his head between his legs on the floor like hes trying not to cry. he just points and she sees the number 1 hero holding this red and broken boy and she screams. she has to run back out to throw up into the kitchen sink

she calls Katsuki. hes sitting in class, most of the class is pacing or doodling, or chatting. mic doesn't have the heart to try and teach them but he also isn't cleared to tell them whats going on because he doesnt know

bakugos phone rings and the kid tears open his bag. all mistuki says it "im so sorry" and bakugo throws his phone into the wall so hard it shatters

mic like, yells bc a kid just shattered his phone and bakugo leaps over his desk to get to the door. mic grabs him by the collar

"hey listener? what do you think you're doing?"

bakugo is white and clammy

"let go." "listener?" "let. go."

mic drops him and bakugo tears down the hall, he kicks open shinsou's door and hauls him out of the room. midnight tries to stop him but bakugo is basically already off school grounds. shinso doesn't even need to ask, he can guess

they are running as fast as the can, faster than either of them have ever run. they don't even bother with the stairs, bakugo uses his quirk to haul them both up the side. bakugo and shinsou try to run in but aizawa just grabs them and pulls them close, he won't let them pass. aizawa isn't even angry but he won't let go of them, like hes scared someone will hurt another of his students, mitsuki drags Bakugo to her side and just holds him like she used to when he got hurt them he was little. the house is silent other than random crying, sirens in the distance

the ambulance comes and they come to take izuku but all might doesn't want to let go of this kid he's failed so badly, so he gently carries him all the way down and lays him on the stretcher. there is blood caked on his suit jacket

ok so as an fyi? izukus injuries arent terrible but hes missing a lot of skin. still has cracked ribs, has a serious infection and is critically dehydrated from fluid loss due to lost skin, plus the fact he hasn't been given food or water for 2 days

it's not the injuries that are the problem, its the dehydration/fever

1A is shaken. mic is shaken and 20 minutes after bakugo runs out? nezu announces that classes have been cancelled for the day and that students may remain on campus if they have no other way home and mic??? the guy is shaken. his husband is missing, all might left, nemuri says bakugo took shinso too

mic has to tell the class school is cancelled, 1 hour into the day but he can't tell them why because he doesn't know. momo, uraraka and kouda just kinda, start to cry bc they can feel something terrible has happened

todoroki invites everyone over to his house until school would have normally ended. they get over to shoutos house and hes like "so,,, you all wanna know whats happened right?" and he gets a bunch of silent nods. he just kinda, says a preemptive sorry to the pic of his dad on the wall and breaks open his hero office door. 1A is crowded around the computer as shouto, momo and tenya are scanning for anything in alerts and shouto stops and points

"minimal security transport and medical assistance to mustutafu, rapid response requested."

they click on it

Heroes Responding: Eraserhead (underground), All Might Civilian Involvement: 2 Adults (stable, no medical response) 3 Children (2 stable, 1 unknown. medical response requested) Villain: N/A Alert Type: Domestic Violence

tenya has to walk away. so does inasa and todoroki

Endeavour storms in bc "shouto, why did you break into my personal office-" and he sees these kids and they looks broken and his son just clings to him. he feels his heart drop, because he doesnt know whats happened, but its not fucking good

w recovery girl + iv fluids and antibiotics, izuku heals up pretty quick but hes got some big scars. shallow but red and angry looking

school doesnt start again until next Wednesday, 7 days after the usj and the dorms have been built

bakugo and shinso wouldn't leave izuku. like, aizawa threatened to expel Bakugo and he still wouldn't go. when izuku wakes up, his two brothers are holding his hands and he cries because hes alive and they are there

so, dorms

everyone swarms izuku bc that's the soft man who they love who saved them in the usj and also they thought he was dead for a hot minute and izuku is crying and there are hugs. aizawa is very fond of his dumb children and they train for the sports festival

U.A. Sports Festival

Events

Event 1 : Battle Royal

so like, battle royal w a shrinking perimeter. 3 hits and you’re out. A hit is contact with another person, thrown object or quirk.

they all wear like these rly uncomfortable body suits that register touches anywhere bc nezu is a nightmare. they all fucking hate these things and nezu is cackling be he had them made but no one would let him use them

during the event, bakugo yells "MAKE IT THROUGH AND SHOW THOSE CHUCKLE FUCKS WHAT 1A IS MADE OF” a resounding yell of “FUCK YEAH” echos through the examinees

no matter what nezu does, not a single member of 1A lands a hit on another. like, bakugo trips and izuku uses his quirk to get him out of the range f kirishima

all of 1A makes it through. all of them. every single one, followed by half of 1B, plus 10ish mixed gen ed and support kids

gen ed, absolutely disgusted: “it’s clear ua favours 1a”

inasa, outraged and very loud: “sAY THAT TO MY FACe”

please, during the fight izuku goes to throw a punch at the person in front of him, they turn around and all he can see its purple hair and eyes and he cant. he uses his quirk to push himself away from shinso

izuku like,,, takes out most of the people bc he yeets people at eachother. he and inasa protect everyon from 1A! todoroki and bakugou team up, double the fire power. ochako is sad bc she cant help bc she cant touch her class mates so she yeets rocks at people. sato / kiri / bakugo make a sit tone of rubble for her, inasa makes a wind vortex above 1A, then she drops it. thats how they take out almost everyone

Event 2: Blind Tag

after the event their costumes light up. half red, half white. the anouncment is just "red is it. if you are still it in 10 minutes you dont move on. good luck" the area turns pitch b l a c k. all natural light is gone so all you can see is the glowing suits (the audience can see bc they have heat cams) and cementoss adds some varying terrain.

-        not gonna lie? it wasnt going to be blind tag but nezu didnt want the last fight to be just 1A

izuku is it he tags someone then avoids being tagged again

inasa is not it. he floats in a corner for like, the whole game but gets hit by ibara near the end

bakugo and todoroki are both not it and team up to make a firey circle of hell, they make it through

shinso does too and hes a really cool fight that no one but him and the audience get to see. he ends up choking this guy out, tags him and sprints away

Event 3: Tournament

momo/monoma, shinso/shoji, tsuyu/kendo, jiro/kuroiro, todoroki/hatsume, iida/awase, bakugo/kirishima, izuku/ochako

momo/iida, todoroki/shinso, izuku/tsuyu, bakugo/jiro

iida/izuku, shinso/bakugo

bakugo/izuku > Izuku wins

Vs. Hero Killer

Interns with Nighteye and Mirio as they do special training w gran. Working with Endeavours agency to find herokiller. Nomu attack, Nighteye tells Mirio to get Izuku to safety, Izuku tells Mirio ab. Iida. Another Nomu corners them, after internal deliberation Mirio tells izuku to go after Iida. Finds Iida, sends location.

Two Heroes

For one, Mirio and Nighteye are there, along with Izuku.

Forest Training Camp

They take Izuku too, because he was holding Bakugo's hand

Nighteye asks to see Allmight's future and allmight declines. Hes going to do it no matter what the future says, and he refuses to set it in stone by seeing it

Mirio is part of the rescue squad, 50% bc he's the one who will take the fall for the whole thing with his license. Besides, he knows about All for One, and it's his duty as a wielder of One for All to at least try to help his mentor.

"I mean, I could have just taken the boy's arm. But those nasty scars tell me hes very much seen the worst humanity has to offer. Perhaps he'd like to join as well."

[kathrynhoward]

wow thank you for all those links! burnley & trowbridge makes me cry its so expensive (im in australia rip) but fabric[.]com 👀 they might have did something 👀👀👀 thrift stores here suck ass i've never even found so much as a miserable tablecloth, let alone actual fabric. im stuck looking for the best deals online 😭 sucks bc i need to feel the fabric too but i can't... its true suffering

Ugh, that’s the worst. I’m lucky that I live in an area with a larger population of people that sew, so thrift stores tend to have a pretty decent selection (I picked up almost 5 yards each of a wool-blend and a cotton for five dollars a piece the other day), and I’m also not above buying old bedsheets and turning them into petticoats or a jacket. I am plus sized though, so often finding the yardage I need at a thrift store is a struggle- I also like to wear historically inspired clothes daily, so I don’t mind anachronistic patterns if the fabric texture is right. I want to buy from burnley and trowbridge so bad, but the shipping for enough fabric for a kirtle is like 50$ and I just can’t do that. I sew for myself, so I tell myself it’s okay to use anachronistic prints (look, if I want 18th century pockets made out of quilting cotton with a fun print, who’s gonna stop me? not myself). I also started my historical sewing journey by going into the 4$ a yard section at the fabric store and picking what I thought was prettiest and would give a decent appearance. My first gown was made from a grey-blue stripped drapery fabric that I paid under 10$ for. You do what you gotta do.

[turtle-steverogers]

Rumble (1/2)

mmmm greasers and socs we stan

also its like 1:40 so uh yah be gentle ik my writing ain’t thriving rn

warnings: homophobic slurs, heated make out seshes, uhhh knives/stabbing, bad 1 am writing im sorry

ship: sprace

word count: 2600

-

Electricity coursed through Race’s veins as Spot reached up, tangling his fingers in his blonde curls and tilting his head, deepening the kiss even further.  Race hummed, tightening his grip on Spot’s waist and pushing him further against the wall, smirking against Spot’s lips when the breath of a moan escaped him.

It was thrilling, the leather of his own jacket combating the blue boiled wool of Spot’s letterman one.  They weren’t supposed to be doing this, the long standing rivalry between the Greasers and the Socs holding strong.  But Spot Conlon and Racetrack Higgins had never been known to stick to the status quo.  

It had started as a heated fling.  Adrenaline riding high after a particularly intense rumble one evening led them to Race’s dingy bedroom, where they had spent the night on his mattress, words scarce and breaths heavy.  They’d played around like that for a while, stealing kisses when no one was looking, holding teasing eye contact across classrooms.  It drove Race crazy, though.  He wanted more, his passion for Spot giving way to love, care for the Soc worming its way into his stomach and seizing hold of his heart.

This internal conflict, however, was quickly resolved when Spot had pulled him into the boy’s restroom between periods, leading him into a stall and kissing him gentler Race could have imagined.  He’d whispered his love onto Race’s lips, insisting that they become something closer than what they were.  

Race had agreed, but they had a reputation to uphold.  For as long as anyone could remember, they hated each other.  A childhood bond breaking awfully when Spot’s dad got a decent job and moved their family to the other side of town, instilling a jarring pretentiousness within Spot and damaging his friendship with Race.  

So, although the hateful feelings had ceased, the snide remarks and nasty sneers remained ever present when they were in public.  It was a painful mask to wear, biting names at each other and digging into known insecurities for the sake of their act.  It worked, though, because no one suspected a thing.

Race ducked his head down, pressing a bruising kiss to Spot’s neck, allowing his teeth to graze the skin.  He began to suck a hickey into the sensitive area, but stopped when Spot nudged him away.

“Mm, the last one just faded,” he breathed, watching Race through lidded eyes.

Race just smiled, “All the more reason to leave another,” he kissed Spot briefly, reaching around to grasp Spot’s ass, squeezing it playfully, “gotta let everyone know you’re unavailable.”

Spot narrowed his eyes, though there was no hint of malice in them, “Fine, but if you’re gonna leave one, go lower.  Bumlets noticed last time.”

Race swallowed, alarm spreading through his veins, “Did he ask you anythin’?  What’d ya tell ‘im?”

“Relax,” Spot said, easily, playing with the curls at the nape of Race’s neck, sending a jolt down his spine, “Told ‘im I made out with Sarah Jacobs.”

Race’s eyes widened momentarily before he cracked a grin, a laugh forcing its way out of his stomach, “Sarah Jacobs?  That David kid’s sis?”

“That’s the one.”

Race snickered, “Did Bumlets buy it?”

Spot shrugged, “Guess so, he was off my ass after that.”

Race whistled, “Does Sarah know you two apparently made out?”

“I told her I needed a cover,” Spot said, looking mildly uncomfortable, “But I didn’t say what for.”

“Did she ask?”

Spot shook his head, “Just went with it.”

“Good friend,” Race said, nodding approvingly.  His eyes flicked down to Spot’s lips, “Now where were we?”

Spot laughed, leaning in to kiss him, “So eager.”

“Yeah well,” Race fisted Spot’s jacket, tearing it off his shoulders and making Spot gasp, “You’re irresistible.”

Race left their little escapade with Spot’s jacket still held loosely in his grip and a bounce in his step.  The sun was completely set by the time he ventured back to his neighborhood, wandering down the street freely until he came up to his house.  

“Where were ya?”

Race froze, the blood draining from his face as he turned to the side, shoving Spot’s jacket behind his back.  Seated on the rickety armchair that had always resided on the front porch was Race’s brother, Albert, arms crossed at his chest.  He wasn’t wearing a shirt and a pair of their other brother, Jack’s, old pajama pants hung casually on his hips.  It was obvious that he was about to go to bed.  

“And what did you just try to hide from me?” Albert pushed, raising his eyebrows and nodding to Race’s arm, which was still behind his back.

“Mind your own business,” Race snarled, a blush creeping onto his cheeks.

Albert studied him for a moment, his gaze landing on Race’s hair, “Why is your hair all fucked- oh my god,” his expression changed from one of skepticism to pure shock, “You’re hookin’ up with someone, ain’t ya?”

Race spluttered for a moment, feeling his blush deepen, “No,” he sounded entirely unconvincing.

Albert smiled, hopping up with way too much fervor for Race’s liking, “You are! Who is she?”

Race grit his teeth, eyes shifting away from Albert.  He couldn’t lie to him- he’d never been able to- but he couldn’t tell the truth either.

“No one,” he mumbled, “‘M goin’ ta bed.”

He hurried inside, briefly glancing down the hallway to where he could see Jack reading on their ratty sofa, before bounding up the stairs.  He slammed his bedroom door, locking it behind him and slumping down on his matress, kicking off his shoes along the way.  He wriggled out of his jacket and jeans and pulled his blankets up to his chest, tucking Spot’s jacket under his head, breathing in the comforting and familiar smell.  

He allowed it to lull him to sleep, calming his nerves as he was pulled under.

XXX

“Higgins, where’d ya get those jeans?”  Race set his jaw, fighting the urge to smile as Spot’s voice entered his auditory, “Did your mother buy them for you?  Oh wait,” Spot clicked his tongue, “Guess she can’t now that she’s what, six feet under?  If you could even afford to get her properly buried.”

Race turned towards him, noting the apologetic undertone in his voice, “Nah, got them from your parent’s closet when I was visiting your mom last week,” he leaned against his locker, “I must say, she’s really brilliant when she’s-”

Spot lunged forward, slamming him against the locker and biting his lip to keep from laughing, “Don’t you dare speak about my mother like that, Higgins,” he growled.  Race had to give him credit, his acting was brilliant.  

“Or what?” Race countered, reluctantly shoving him back and taking note of the small crowd that had circled around them.  Spot pretended to flounder for a moment and Race took the opportunity, “You Socs are honest pussies when it comes to fights,” he scoffed, “Suck my dick, Conlon.”

Spot’s eyes flashed and he grabbed Race’s ear, yanking him down to his level and whispering, “Better meet me out behind the school after last period,” he pulled away, raising his voice once more, “And that’s a promise, Higgins,” the crowd around them hooted, obviously expecting some sort of threat to be fulfilled, “Watch your back.”

Race watched him leave with his posse, letting his guard down.  Faux fights with Spot always instilled some sort of excitement in him, the lie a fast wave to ride.

The school day crept by painfully.  Race sat restlessly in his classes, bouncing his leg vigorously as he watched the clock tick excruciatingly slow.  He was out of his seat, backpack slung haphazardly on his back the moment the bell rang, He walked faster than strictly necessary to the back of the school, where Spot was already waiting.  A cigarette hung lazily from his lips and he looked up as Race approached, plucking it from his mouth and holding it out in a silent offer.

Race took it blindly, pulling a deep drag before chucking it to the ground and stepping on it as he moved forward, pinning Spot to the wall and pressing their mouths together.  The taste of the cigarette melded between them, adding a certain heat to their already intense session.  Spot gasped against his lips, whining when Race reached down, unzipping his fly and unbuttoning his khakis.  

“Aye, Conlon, there you-”

Spot drove Race away from him, fumbling to fix his pants as Hotshot approached, looking both confused and furious.

“What, are you two fucking or something?” He barked, rounding on Spot, “Thought you wanted nothing to do with this Greaser scum.”

Spot seemed to regain his composure, “I don’t,” he said, voice low, “He came onto me, I was just about to beat the shit out of his faggot ass.”

Race winced, mentally forcing himself to remember Spot was pretending.

Hotshot frowned, nose scrunched in disgust, “Yeah?  Kinda looked like you were enjoying it.”

Spot rolled his eyes, attempting to shoulder past Hotshot, “Whatever.”

Hotshot grabbed his bicep, holding him in place, “You two really wanna prove your little rendezvous wasn’t what it looked like? Be at the lot tonight at sundown.  Shouldn’t matter what happens if these little fairy flings are fake.”

Hotshot threw Spot to the ground, spitting next to him before leaving.  Race watched him go, making sure he was out of sight before reaching down a hand to help Spot up.  Spot shook his head, his chest heaving as he hoisted himself to his feet.

“We could run,” Race said, “Leave before tonight.”  He was trembling, certain that his face matched Spot’s pale expression.

Spot looked like he was having some sort of aneurysm as he backed away, “No, I, uh-” he sounded breathless, scared, “I gotta go, I’ll see you...tonight, yeah, uh.  Be there,” he finally looked at Race, “Please.”

Race shook his head, dumbfounded, “Spot, we don’t have ta-”

But Spot was gone, footsteps echoing as he ran in the opposite direction.

XXX

Race sat on his mattress, nausea turning in his stomach as he watched the sky change through his window.  There was probably homework he could be doing, but what did it matter if he was just going to be killed this evening.  Rumbles were unpredictable; a nasty throttle of blood and animosity.  It was rare that anyone actually died, but that didn’t stop the worst possible outcome from crawling into his brain.

These things were huge, large sums of both sides turning up for each one.  Race usually liked them to a degree, finding the exhilarating atmosphere entertaining, but that was when he wasn’t the center of the conflict.  Now, it was just sickening.

“Aye, if you’re coming to the rumble, we should get goin’ now.”  Jack peeked his head into his room.  

Race forced himself to look at his older brother, trying to smile as convincingly as he could.  He hadn’t told Jack and Albert that he was a key contender in the rumble, just that there was one.  Though, in hindsight, he should’ve refrained from talking about it at all- not that it would have stopped them from finding out.  Word gets around fast.

“Yeah, uh, yeah,” Race said, clearing his throat and scooting forward to pull on his shoes, “Al comin?”

“You know the kid,” Jack leaned against his doorframe, holding out Race’s jacket for him, “Could never pass up the chance ta watch a fight.”

Race choked out a laugh, though it sounded more like a whimper, “Yeah,” he flinched as his voice cracked.

Albert was already waiting at the bottom of the stairs, shoes tied and jean jacket on, “C’mon guys, the sun’s settin’!” he exclaimed, reaching out and pulling Race out the door, “It’s gonna start soon.”

With each step Race took towards the lot, it felt like he was approaching his doom.  He wanted nothing more than to curl up with Spot and find comfort in their closeness, but he couldn’t have that now.  Besides, Spot was clearly mortified, there was no way he was up for cuddling right now.

The mass of people in the lot was visible even from a distance, already divided seamlessly into two sides.  The three boys approached, naturally fusing into the side that housed the Greasers, blending in with the hoard of rowdy looking boys.  Race’s eyes scanned the other group, immediately finding Spot at the head of the crowd, clad in his favorite red sweater.  He was jeering at someone from the Greasers, though Race could sense the apprehension emanating from him.  

He tried to blend in, staying purposefully towards the back, but it was no use.  He made piercing eye contact with Hotshot and felt the blood drain from his face as the Soc’s face morphed into one of triumph.  He shoved his way to the middle of the split and held his fingers to his mouth, whistling loudly enough to gain everyone’s attention.  Race looked back at Spot, who was staring at Hotshot, lips parted slightly.  

“We’re gathered here this fine evening,” Hotshot began, his tone innocent, but eyes fiery, “Because I had the pleasure of witnessing something extraordinary,” he had everyone’s apt attention now, “See, I was walking after school, looking for our favorite shorty here,” he yanked Spot out of the crowd and Spot grimaced, looking like he wanted to disappear, “When I found him behind the school,” he paused for affect, “Pants unbuttoned and tongue down the throat of-” Murmurs were already rippling through the crowd, “Racetrack fucking Higgins.”

Race shut his eyes as he felt every head turn towards him.  Somewhere to his left, he could hear Albert mumble, ‘what the fuck’, along with a few confused hoots from other people.  He wanted to run.  He wanted to grab Spot and skip town and pretend that none of this was happening- that they were okay.  But his feet were glued to the spot.

“Now, I’m sure it was a simple misunderstanding,” Hotshot spoke again, “Seeing as it is common knowledge that these two cannot stand each other,” Race gasped as someone pushed him to the middle, “I’m sure this little debacle can be cleared up.”

Race opened his eyes, sucking in a breath when he realized how close he was to Hotshot and Spot.

“You two hate each other, yes?” Hotshot hissed, leaning in close to him.

Race nodded vigorously.

“Prove it, then,” Hotshot jabbed, producing a switchblade from his back pocket, “Stab him.”

Race choked, “Stab Spot?  You want me to stab your best friend?”

Hotshot laughed, “He’s not my best friend,” he said, “Not as long as he’s okay with kissing on other men,” he pressed the knife into Race’s hand, “Now go.”

Race stared at the blade, turning it over in shaking hands before flipping it open.  He could feel the crowd watching him with baited breath and he spared a glance at Spot, who was watching him with desperation written on his face.  Race focused his eyes, making a split second decision.

He lunged forward, tackling Spot away from Hotshot and pinning him to the ground, driving his knee into his side.  He flipped open the knife and held it between them, watching as Spot’s expression calmed.

“I love you,” Spot murmured, breaths evening out, “Do what you have to, it’s okay.”

Race drank in his expression, bathing in the warmth of his rich brown eyes and cherishing the beauty in his hard features.

“I love you, too,” He muttered back, “I’m sorry.”

He took a deep breath, plunging the blade into his own stomach.

-

nnng yeah im gonna write a pt 2 dw dw we’re not jus leavin it there

thanks for reading, chiefs

hmu to be added to my tag

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[fangirlinginleatherboots]

been messing around with my practice yarn to work on this very basic lacy heart pattern i want to use for a baby blanket and i messed it up really bad yesterday so this morning i got up and ripped it out and redid it and it came out so much better. im making a little hat out of the practice swatch just so it feels productive and so i can use up the yarn to buy a slightly nicer practice yarn.

but god my practice yarn is honestly the nastiest yarn. like its a acrylic but it was like $4 for 640 yards and it feels like steel wool scrubbies. it feels terrible to touch and my first set of needles were really cheap and damn is it showing. they’re already bending and are scratched to shit and feel bad to use. i swear im just gonna end up using circle needles for everything and invest in a really nice interchangables set or something. i have one picked out that i really want actually but i need to save up for it since its over a hundred dollars (but its like 7 needle sizes + 4 chord lengths to snap onto those needles and its my favorite brand and has a carrying case)

anyway im hoping once i get this knitted up i can try killing the yarn just to expirmient a bit and see if that feels any better. because for real this is just. terrible yarn. its not even good to practice with because its so wirey and stiff that im having to try like 5x as hard to do any simple stitch. mind you im working with a nicer yarn on the blanket project i have right now and the difference is just mindblowing. 

[yourprayer]

losers club at christmas hcs

for @kaspdrak <3 

join my 100 celebration!!!

- gonna say this right out the gates bc when its not acknowledged.... im angry

- stan celebrates Hanukkah and the other losers all give him extra presents for it

-  also they love to hear abt hanukkah traditions from stan?? like some of their early days in december are spent sitting around stan’s fireplace drinking cider and listening to him just.. explain the whole holiday & its history 

- stan is very very proud of his heritage and loves that his friends are super respectful and don’t force alternate customs on him (but he most certainly gives them all presents bc he LOVES HIS FRIENDS)

- the losers always have a post-christmas party where they exchange gifts bc they’re all stuck with their families on the actual holidays

- but pre-holidays??? early december??? first snow??? these kids are unstoppable

- im talkin snow men, im talkin sledding down main street, im talkin christmas light competitions

- richie and bill may or may not have blocked off an entire coldesac to build forts for their epic five hour snowball fight

- eddie is obsessed with having the best decorations. this motherfucker will kill to have the best lights on the block

- him and mike team up bc mike is super fast & organized as he staples lights on the roof how?? 

- mike’s family doesn’t really like decorating but they are all for mike helping the others out (and his grandpa actually has a great time when mike takes him on a tour of all the loser’s houses he helped decorate)

- the loser’s driving around in ben’s mom’s car touring christmas lights that are set to radio stations

- eddie’s mom is adamant he Will Get Hypothermia so she bundles him in so many layers he looks like the little brother from christmas story

- which richie talks about for months

- the losers watching christmas story in bills living room 

- “you know im really glad we don’t believe in santa. this guy is fucking creepy”

- “you’re just jealous”

- “jealous of what richie? i get more presents on more days and there aren’t fat angry strangers breaking into my house”

- ben burns everyone mix cds for their presents with songs he thinks they will love

- he has impeccable taste and everyone thinks their mix cds are the bomb

- beverly is the QUEEN of winter fashion

- truly the master of ugly christmas sweaters

- her only competition? eddie, who wears them not to be ironic but because mrs. k makes him

- richie does not know how to dress for the season and is always this close to frostbite & doesn’t even notice

- like this bitch still wears his ratty ass converse in two feet of snow

- bev loves to make everyone pancakes in the mornings after sleepovers, and during christmas time she starts making festive shapes

- ben gets really hype and starts giving her new ideas, like mixing in red and green food coloring

- bill’s bike gets fucked up in the snow quite a few times which gives mike a good excuse to stay over and help fix silver and also hang out with his best fucking friend

- their post-christmas parties are always when parents are out doing after-christmas shopping and last minute family visits so they’re usually unattended

- when they’re seniors richie brings spiked egg nog and they all get trashed in bill’s garage

- christmas crackers with the paper crowns inside (don’t think about how cute richie thinks eddie is in his paper crown)

- everyone gets each other presents bc what kind of friends don’t get each and every one of their pals a damn present

- some of them can’t really afford to go out and buy too many things, but they all regift well (bill’s extended family don’t know him too well so they usually give him random crap, but sometimes he gets something that he thinks his friend will love and saves it for their party)

- bev makes handmade jewelry for the boys every year (they’re all decked out in woven bracelets that will last till they die)

- we’ve already talked about bens cds but i just wanna mention them again bc ben makes the best cds fight me

- mike usually puts together a basket of homemade things from the farm for each of them (bread he baked, jam his grandmother made, wool socks)

- eddie usually gets to shop with his allowance so he gets them each something practical but special

- richie usually doesn’t have any money to get gifts with but he always makes sure to make them all super heartfelt & hilarious cards (which include horrible puns, terrible drawings, and sappy as hell love notes) 

- bill usually regifts or buys them nice things he finds at the mall. honestly psychic with gifts. inventor of the phrase “i saw this and thought of you”

- stan always gets them books. the first party they had he had no idea what to get them because he didn’t know everyone perfectly, so he gave them all old books from his library. they actually played well so every year since he scours used book stores year round to find the perfect book to give

- sometimes they’re joke books (he once gave richie an entire yiddish dictionary because he was being a dick about potato pancakes. richie still uses it regularly)

- speaking of joke gifts, you bet these mother fuckers do a white elephant every year

- bill usually plays nice and puts a good present in, knowing everyone else is going to be savage as fuck

- ben is sometimes kind with his too, putting in something benign like a five dollar bill in a really oversized box. sure it’s a dick to open, but at least he didn’t put underwear in it like richie did one year

- bev and richie are the meanest when it comes to white elephant presents

- like whoever goes the first few rounds avoids the packages richie and bev put in like the plague

- eddie tries to be devious but is actually really bad at coming up with clever shitty presents 

- mike and stan are the kings of putting in the most random crap

- like honestly stan just saves weird shit from his room purges and uses that to confuse the rest of the group

- mike is always a really good sport about getting the crappy presents

- eddie is not

- especially if he gets stuck with whatever richie put in

- “RICHIE I SWEAR TO GOD IF I GET STUCK WITH YOUR USED DEODORANT AGAIN THIS YEAR-”

- “eds, you can’t get gifted something you already have! it’s my toothbrush this time!”

- “e-e-eddie! quit throwing sh-shoes in my house!!”

- ben and bev falling asleep on bills couch at the end of the night in coordinating christmas sweaters bev found

- each of the couples getting each other a small extra present bc they’re in Love

- all of them feeling bad about mike being ‘left out’ so they get him something too

-so mike ends up with dozens of presents at the end of the night and extreme confusion

-but man is he feeling the love

- richie having mistletoe on a stick and holding it over eddies head about every fifteen minutes

- “oh shit eds! we’re under it again! how does this keep happening?!”

- “richie. you’re controlling it.”

- “oh no im sorry i cant hear you over the sound of me being compelled by this unbreakable christmas law”

-”riCHARD”

- bill warning all his friends to avoid his mothers terrible fruitcake

- stan eating it and loving it anyways

- “y-you can eat her f-f-fruitcake without barfing? i kn-knew we were meant to b-b-be”

- the losers at christmas ok