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#im gonna go to the book store thats half an hour drive from me bc they're open all day long
whyshedisappeared · 3 months
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I just finished a good girl's guid to murder and holy shit. first of all it's so good. second of all, it's written so well that I was able to figure out why andie was killed and was in the vicinity of who did it but was a little off. I haven't read a well written merder mystery in forever and now I remember why I love this genre so much.
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olde-scratch · 4 years
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So I watched LUCIDS 1-4 without any prior knowledge...
and here were my thoughts. I didn’t watch any backstory or anything so enjoy my suffering.
PART 1
“So what happens when the people inside of their dreams go to sleep?” They die
“What happens when we wake up? Do they go on living while we’re not there?” THEY DIE-
“Who are they anyway?” they’re faces that our brain catalogs and stores for later use, although it’s also arguable that every time we dream we go to an alternate reality and inhabit the body of another version of ourselves. Now, were you in a car accident and trapped underwater or-
Are they twins?
(Me tuning out to do something)
“-the squirrel in spongebob was your soulmate, making you a Sandy simp-”
Me, snapping back to the video: hold up-
[missed the part about the worksheet, realized it when i rewatched 10 mins later to make this post]
yall speakin gibberish idk what youre saying-
“I’m gonna go to bed.” bro it literally looks like morning-
“You should get some sleep you look terrible.” i get six hours of sleep a night minimum and i look worse than him shut up bro-
“jump into someone else’s dream” ah i know this con-
why they all got the same face-
haha funni meme
“--an interruptiion can create feedback and tear them apart.” Death. I long for thee.
Is that Karl Jacob’s jacket?
“a second grader” makes me think this is a different school system. [i was wrong? i think?]
“[get him to] eat your apple”
[in the dream sequence] weird dream, but ive had weirder. now, Why Pamper’s-
why does he suddenly have a knife-
“You put a filter on the Dreamscape feed?”
“Technically, you are seven years old.”
???????????
the second hand embarrassment is UGGGHHH
[reading the description] you mean like the guy who was knocked out for 2 minutes on a football field and woke to find he’d dreamt 17 years of his life? oh this shall be Fun
PART 2
[I check the description] “jasper cult” what the fu-
how many camp camp references can i make during this
Is the apple a reference to religion or does the creator just really ilke apples?
“meal.”
“meal?”
meal????
Wait why couldn’t that guy eat the apple? If he wanted it in the fruit bowl, wouldn’t there be a chance of the guy eating it anyways?? Why can’t the guy who brought the apple eat it?
well he’s Dead
[debating if I should read the backstory}
n a h h h h h -
Was he gonna feed the dead guy the apple or something? Why is he upset about the apple in this scene???
oooo the grownups are fightinnnngggg
Is he an antagonist?
HE WROTE A BOOK???
oh now i want food
ESTABLISH JUSTICE ENSURE DOMESTIC TRANQUILITYYYYYYYYYYYYY
“I watched all those aforementioned shows” what shows did i miss something what-
man why you gotta hate on her jane austen fanfic let her live bro
string theory! i can get behind that! sorta-
o no he found the memes-
BOY GOT KNOCKED OUT-
kim there’s people that are dying-
is SHE an antagonist?
quinn? calling himself jasper? u sure hes not just nonbinary? is this just a metaphor for transphobic parenting?
“He died... but somewhere, he grew up.” So is your plan to take a Quinn from a different universe and make him your own, thereby robbing another version of yourself from happiness? When does this ever go well?
Yknow most people, when they lose a kid,,,, kinda,,,,,,, dont go on a ceaseless quest to find another version of their kid that grew up without knowing that another version of his mother was invading other peoples’ dreams to find and kidnap him,,,,,,,, like aint u got a therapist-
“Once you get past the point of not knowing what’s real anymore, you realize it doesn’t matter.” Well, I Got Called Out-
PART 3
“you’re real, oliver.”
aRe yOu sUrE aBoUt tHaT-
“you’ve been infected by the anti-love parasite of Mandadon” the amatonormativity is strong
so anyways ive been infected since birth hbu-
“James Jasperson, creator of Japple” did you mean to Fancy Well-Educated Man in a Black Turtleneck? cause the only FWEMBT i allow near me is prof. hidgens
“are you winning?” says the capitalist
why did you rewind to see his face?? you have the same face????? is this just bc the creator doesnt like working with other people cause in that case same but???????
“it’s a bad idea. i’m not gonna do it.” we’ve all been there. and we’ve all done it.
looks like me trying to study. (i say, a person who has studied a total of five minutes throughout their entire life.)
your “Spartan trial” looks like a bunch of guys standing on a hill pretending to be something they’re not. Let The Man Bring His Snacks.
eat the apple.
is this your first existential crisis or something what a loser lets all point and laugh
“One of you should be spared, the other shall’nt.” did you mean shant or was that a choice-
yall gonna get called out for talking shut UP
“sorry if this is too personal, btw. are you okay?”
me, confused and half understanding what’s going on and also needing to sleep cause its almost one in the morning but wanting to finish what i can find of lucids which i only starting watching cause i saw an animatic of ranboo and dream w audio from it: i don’t know anymore
“i just want my life back... i was gonna get married-” AREN’T YOU LIKE SEVEN-
ay man if this is a sacrificial cult yall gotta get daniel-
UPDATE: I  H A V E  N O T  F O U N D  I T -
“oliver”
I  F O U N D   I  T -
WHICH ONE IS QUINN?? WHO’S JASPER???? WHICH ONE IS BENJAMIN???? I THOUGH BENJAMIN WAS SEVEN BUT I THOUGHT HE WAS THE ONE GETTING MARRIED WHAT-
oliver. eat the apple.
“Can you still have memories even when you’re dreaming?” One time I woke up to my alarm and fell back asleep and in my dream I remembered that I had class in a few minutes and my dream self woke my real self up so fast I thought I was gonna get whiplash. Anyways, I was late to class bc of my computer but that doesn’t matter.
NOPE I FOUND IT. HERE’S THE AUDIO. THE ANIMATIC ONE. FINALLY.
im thinking car crash. but also maybe murder. but also maybe both? is it raining or was he drowning? is he in a coma? hmmmmmm?
wait olivers the one with the apple does that mean he’s the one dreaming? is the ending gonna be him and jasper (quinn? idk) fighting against ben and mrs hills about jasper eating the apple to save oliver from the dream? hmmmmmmmmmm-
waitwaitwait i thought oliver was 7 how is benjamin 7 years younger than him if they look the same age what what what explain america explain what you mean arkansaw-
are the cuts on his nose plot-relevant or
“What if you hadn’t been driving?” So I was right about the car accident but Mrs. Hills still said he was seven so did i mishear her say that BENJAMIN was seven? but even then oliver would be 14 and that would still be illegal-
“How are you feeling?”
“Like you’re a pretty bad therapist.”
mood
“--it makes it all bearable to have power over the stories we write in our heads” that’s why i write fanfiction
HE’S GOT THE NOTEBOOK HE’S GONNA WRITE SOMETHING ONE OF US ONE OF US ONE OF US
WHAT YOU MEAN AN EXPERIMENT THAT’S HIS NAME-
[upon reading the description] so i was right.
wait was that supposed to be the twist in part 2 about the apple in his pocket is that what the existential crisis was about i thought it was because he was introduced to the multiple worlds theory-
PART 4
wait wasnt the other one january 2018 why we going back to 2017-
appol
“--the future and the past all already exist” mhm yep figured this out long ago
there was simultaneously a point in time in which i hadn’t known about this, had been looking it up, had been watching it, and had been writing an ending to this post, and had been posting it the next morning before class. that time is both now and not now. Welcome To The Multiverse Theory or whatever its called-
“--my favorite scene of the movie is waking up next to you.” Mine is eating fast food as I listen to AJJ and play Minecraft. We are not the same.
Now I’m hungry but it’s 1 in the morning and i already put my retainer in god fu-
[reading description] what do you mean previously??? she did that in the first episode????????
[still on description] WHAT DO YOU MEAN WILL QUINN BITE THE APPLE AND GO TO BENJAMINS REALITY ISNT THIS OLIVERS REALITY AND HE HAS TO GET BEN TO BITE THE APPLE WHY IS APPLE CAPITALIZED IS THIS THE DOING OF THE FWEMBT
i should have watched the backstory i should have watched the backstory i should have watched the backstory i should have wa-
[description] oh ive been spelling quinn right the whole time nice
i hope she rejects you /j
WAIT BENJAMIN WAS THE ONE GETTING MARRIED TO ISABELLE
ISNT HE IN SECOND GRADE-
HE IS SEVEN YEARS OLD HOW IS HE GETTING MARRIED ARE THERE TWO BENJAMINS THAT WE’RE FOCUSING ON-
bro get out of the road ull get hit
how do you knOW WHICH ONE IS QUINN THEY ARE THE SAME PERSON-
so
wait
hills wants ben to feed quinn the apple bc in his mind, that will give hills and quinn a happy ending and she doesnt want ben to see the apple bc thats gonna mean ben will know that his reality isnt reality at all. so then oliver has to,,,, not let anyone eat his apple? he just has to wake up?
IS HILLS THE VILLAIN AFTER ALL ORRRRR
wait but if ben sees the apple wont he realize that his reality is wrong and his reality will change, making it so that hills doesnt get her son? or is there some time-based rule that says they’re only transported to the reality that the person believes at that moment? or is this another stab at the multiverse thing where an infinite amount of hills gets their happy endings while an infinite amount of hills doesnt and etc etc?
i should have watched the ba-
oooo dramatique
they’re in a time loop?
nope thats a new powerpoint
wait so theyre,,,, no-
wait-
nvm-
IS THE BEN WE KNOW AN ADULT GETTING MARRIED TO ISABELLE OR NOT-
“they were actually pretty nice” didnt they throw someone off a cliff-
oh so it got confusing THEN??? NOT BEFORE?????
“it all seemed so real.” is that Not the point of vivid REM sleep hallucinations-
is oliver gonna show ben the apple and ruin hills’ whole operation
WHO ARE ALEX AND RYAN-
“what’s 25-8″ bro dont do this to me-
yep hes gonna show the apple
ayyy the guy who stole karl jacobs jacket it back
the second hand embarrassment is back and I Hate It
all that happens in episode ONE??? bro get some better writers that is bad pacing
“it’s the best!” wait until season eight. no show has a good season eight.
quinn knows about the apple thing w the dreams and multiverse and realities dont he
YOU KILLED HIM
NOT KARL JACOBS NOOOOO HES ALREADY DIED ONCE
oliver is v relatable
wHaT iN tArNaTiOn-
lemme hear that explanaton again-
is bill cipher gonna show up? i hope bill cipher shows up. i miss gravity falls
“ah! a tree! ah! a tree! ah a tree!” moooooooood
did hills murder quinn
is your family the jasper cult
TOXXIICCCCCC get that lady out of your life quinn that is so toxic
“ ah! a tree! ah! a tree! ah a tree!  ah! a tree! ah! a tree! ah a tree!” mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood
WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT’S THE END NO WHAT WHY NO
The Adventures of Benjamin and Oliver
he is Not Good
ope-
wait so ben is equal parts an adult AND a child?? okay that clears a lot up
I MEAN HE WAS RIGHT THO BEN U CAN’T REALLY ARGUE ON THAT-
ew get off the floor
butterfly effect, multiverse theory, memory decay, and your imagination ALL exist yall gonna ignore that cause you wanna be famous?
“We already know what the future looks like!”
aRe yOu sUrE aBoUt tHaT-
to add to the list of bad things: Cats (2019)
YA BOI THINKS IT’S NOT ALREADY FIFTY YEARS TOO LATE TO START FIGHTING CLIMATE CHANGE FFFFF
BINGO BABYYYY
get what what
what mapped-
awwwww he thinks THEY’RE creating the multiverse
you gonna dismiss the multiverse theory bc of something you created in your current reality? loooserrrrrr
ABUSE YOUR GODLIKE POWERS
she draggin that seven year old
a lot makes sense now why didnt i do this first-
Jasper
the food shortages-
bro that calculators like 90 bucks at walmart
imagine meeting a stranger and they know Everything about your life like that’s gotta be so weird
what’s even weirder is them telling you you’re the deity of a cult that sacrifices animals
THAT FOURTH WALL BREAK WAS-
KARL JACOBS IS DEAD NOOOOOO
ooohhh there’s context for that
OOOOHHHH THERE’S CONTEXT FOR THIS TOOOO
w h a t -
w  h  a  t  -
W   H   A   T   -
Conclusion:
it’s 2 in the morning and i need sleep but hOOOOO MY GODS THAT WAS GOOD IS IT OVER OR NOT IDK ANYMORE IM TIRED THAT WAS CRAZY I HOPE QUINN AND JASPER GO ON TO BE VERY GOOD FRIENDS, AND I HOPE BENJAMIN AND OLIVER STAY VERY GOOD FRIENDS AND I HOPE HILLS FINDS A THERAPIST WAS A LITTLE CONFUSING BUT I ENJOYED IT
if i dream about apples im suing /j /lh
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dreammutual-remade · 6 years
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high school!mark
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request: highschool!mark if u love me plspls
 word count: 5.5k
a/n: lucky that I love u anon hehehehe !!!!! also wOW I didnt mean to make this so god damn long itS REALLY JUST THESE GOD DAMN HIGH SCHOOL AUS IM WEAK FOR THEM OKAY. look at this cutie hOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO RESIST
mark, renjun, jeno, donghyuck, jaemin, chenle, jisung
warnings: the usual intermittent cussing and probably an inappropriate joke or two
this au is my Ultimate Weakness it makes me soft as hell alright
………………….
LETS DIVE IN
okay so your mom has a job that forces your family to move around….. A LOT
and while you’ve gotten used to it for the most part it still sucks having to leave people behind and make completely new friends once every couple of years
this time you’re moving to a new school for your SENIOR YEAR and you’re livid
bc like ??? it’s senior year and you have exactly zero (0) friends since you’re new,,, yet again
you Threw A Fit when you found out but your mom was like shut up you ingrate soon you’ll be in college and won’t even have to worry about it
so you, an ingrate, shut up :/
you move in a month before school starts and the house is nice and your room is cute so that’s a plus !!!!!
you hang up some pictures and organize all your cute little trinkets you’ve collected over the years aw
you’ve even got a lil succulent garden growing on your windowsill
ITS CUTE AS HELL OKAY
alright so you’re gonna go explore around town because you , don’t know where anything is and you wanna find some good spots to hang
you take the bus into the middle of town because who tf is tryna drive themselves amirite ladies
support ur local bus driver
anywhom this isn’t a HUGE town but it’s one of those cute towns where you can pretty much walk anywhere you need to go
(god i wish that were me)
so you spend all day just, walkin
you find a library and pick up some books …….
both for decoration and reading okay
and you find a couple of restaurants and write them down to try later along with some coffee shops and whatnot
eventually you’re tired and prolly a lil sweaty bc it’s summer and you’re outside and ugh
so you find a nice big park and a tree and sit down at the base of it to read and mindlessly sketch things in the margins of your book
whEN OUT OF NOWHERE
someone shouts
“HEY WATCH OUT”
and you look up just in time to dodge a sOCCER BALL HURTLING TOWARDS YOUR FACE
it bounces off the tree and rolls a couple feet away
“uhhhh holy shit” - you
you just kind of sit there astonished for 5 seconds before you get up to get the ball and look around for who saved your LIFE
and there’s boy jogging toward you looking extremely embarrassed
you meet him halfway to hand him the ball and he’s like
“oh mY GOD i’m so sorry i told them to settle down but they never listen to me and jisung just ??? doesn’t know how to not take everything seriously and he lost and got pissed and kicked it and we didn’t even kNOW you were over here and also i’m so sorry”
you smile and tell him it’s fine and hand him the ball
you go to get back to your tree and he’s like hey uh you there uh wait up
god he’s awkward
and you turn around to face him with an expectant look
“so um, what’s your name? i haven’t seen you around here before and like in case i ever gotta make this up to you you know ??”
cute
you tell him your name and stick out your hand to shake and he grabs it very hesitantly and tells you his name is mark
he has , very warm hands and they’re only slightly bigger than yours but that’s still cUTE
MARK HAS BABY HANDS I DARE U TO SAY HE DOESNT
he says he hopes you enjoy your book and he’ll make sure the boys don’t disturb you anymore than they already have
you wave as he goes and he gives you a smile over his shoulder and his cheeks are tinged pink and wOw this boy is a cutie patootie
you go back to your reading but now instead of doodling you’re just writing his name or drawing his big doe eyes or his smooth hands
(((((let’s pretend we’re all good at drawing okay god knows i can’t do much more than a stick figure)))))
the boys leave after an hour or two and you leave pretty soon after then because the sun is setting and you gotta be home for dinner
basically your mom wants to make sure you aren’t kidnapped and/or lost in a new town
which, to be fair, is not that unlikely
you have your headphones in and you’re leaned against the bus window half asleep as you go
bitch wake up youRE GONNA MISS YOUR STOP
it’s the same bus driver who saw you get on and honestly there aren’t a lot of people on the bus so he makes sure you get off
“hey you, girl back there, hEY! this is your stop girly”
you thank him profusely and tip him because uhhhh u gotta get home and like Not Lost
you skip home with your bag of books and miscellaneous items you found at the thrift store!!!
you bought a little figurine of a dragon and she’s beautiful her name is saraphina because why not
that’s completely irrelevant i’m so sorry
i have ADHD
anywhom
you walk in and you’re all like hey momma !!! how goes it !!:3
and your mom is Sus™️ because why are you in such a good mood
and you’re like !!! cause i had a good day okay love u bye i’m going to my rOOM
don’t let her question anymore or else she’ll dig out that you met a Cute Boy
you go to your room and get out all your purchases and organize them while you still have the motivation to do so
and yeah
you use one of the blank notes to start like a lil drawing diary of sorts ???? like just to draw stuff in whenever you’re inspired or you see something pretty
and you definitely saw smth pretty today ;))))))))
hint: ITS MARK
you try to draw him from memory but it doesn’t look quite right and like :(((((( how sad is that what if you don’t even see him again
the rest of the month passes pretty quickly in the same fashion
by now you’ve befriended the bus driver and he tells you all the cool secret nooks and crannies of town for you to go find
he’s also your bff pretty much he always tells you about his daughter and all the cute things she does and you just talk about your life in general and he gives you advice
congrats you’ve unlocked Wise Uncle
he gives you directions to this teeny TINY flower shop where you befriend the old lady who works there by bringing a muffin everytime you go by
she trades you for a seasonal flower and makes a big deal out of tucking it behind your ear herself
basically you find all the cute old people in town and make them your friend because.
THATS CUTE
ADDED BONUS OF LIKE 17 PARENT FIGURES TO GIVE YOU ADVICE
this is accidentally straying into art hoe territory i hope y’all are okay w/ that
school is starting really soon and you’re nervous but also used to this so it doesn’t affect you as bad as normally
also you did meet some people so you aren’t going in with no friends but like, pretty close to no friends
on the first day of school you ride the bus and you see ???? mark ????? on your bus ????????
so you get on and do your daily greeting of the bus driver
his daughter lost her first tooth AW
you fake cry and he says “mood” and you lose it because you’re pushing internet culture onto this unsuspecting middle aged man skdkdkkd
you pat him on the shoulder as you walk back to find a seat but there are none because for some reason the bus is busy this early in the morning ????
you wouldn’t know lmao summer sleep schedule had you up at 10 at the earliest
so you go to stand and hold onto one of the poles in the center
(nearby our boy mark LEE)
mark looks up from his phone
these god damn millennials always on that damn phone
and he sees you and he’s like wHOA what’s up uhhh Soccer Ball Girl
and nice you remembered his name bUT HE DIDNT REMEMBER YOURS
but then he’s like nahhhh just kidding i remember ur name hey y/n !!!
you talk otw to school and find out you’re both seniors at the same school and how you’re excited for sports games and like, GRADUATING
mark keeps trying to offer you his seat but you refuse and he pouts everytime you say no :((((
good god just take the seat look at the sad baby boy :((((((((((((
there is an, occurrence
at one point the bus goes over a bump and you stumble a little and mark reaches up to catch you before you literally fall on him
his hands fly out and grab you by the hips to steady you since he’s sitting and you’re standing and he can’t exactly reach your shoulders sO YEA
or at least that’s his explanation in his head huehuehuehe
his hands linger for MAYBE 10 seconds before he whips them back into his pockets and blushes while you thank him
you: are also blushing
the bus driver: completely did that on purpose
when you get off the bus your Second Dad tells you good luck and pats you on the head and mark is like ???? do you know him
and you’re like yeah that’s my man maurice we’re buds
and he’s like ???? i’ve rode that bus all my life to school and i’m not buds with him wtf :/
“srry you’re not as lovable as me!! jealousy is a disease <3”
and he laughs his dorky laugh
you highkey are smiling so big because this boy is so cute and he’s walking close enough that your shoulders brush every once in a while and he has a silly laugh and AW
as you walk into the school marks group of Boys starts waving him over excitedly and he turns in their direction but then stops when he sees you aren’t following
“hey whatcha doin???”
“well uhhh those are Your Boys you know and i’m, i don’t, really, uh they don’t know me”
“aw cmon they’ll love you!!! look ill just introduce you and if they’re terrible and annoying you can leave”
“........ i gue-“
but he’s already grabbed your hand and is pulling you over to them
“sup fellas this is y/n and she just moved here this year so don’t be too overwhelming.”
the smaller one with the highish voice chimes in
“aww but overwhelming is my only setting”
“then just don’t be yourself, chenle”
“heYYY it’s that girl i almost killed in the park !!! so sorry about that by the way”
he introduces them to you one by one and they all shake your hand
jisung is the one with the big ass yaoi hands and also the one who almost ended your young life
jaemin is the one with pretty smile
jeno is the one with the squishy eyes
renjun is the Art Hoe of the group you can just tell
he’s wearing some got damn overalls you gotta befriend him immediately
donghyuck is the one with beautiful skin and a v high voice you’re highkey like hey but can you dROP THE SKINCARE ROUTINE and he’s like “i just wash my face every day xoxo :*”
you quickly learn who is a piece of shit and who isn’t
you figure out who has classes with you and then set off for the day !!
mark has gym and economics with you but those are after lunch :(((
he squeezes your shoulder before he leaves and says good luck though so you’ll survive
you have art with renjun first and this boy is your bestie already
he’s such a sarcastic shit and he too likes drawing random things and vandalizing school textbooks with artistically correct memes
he also has the AUDACITY
“so, you and mark already ;););)(;);)))”
“i uh don’t know what you mean by that”
“you SO do!!!!! you guys walked into school together everyone probably already thinks you’re a thing”
“oh shit really??? ah i feel so bad”
“is that a bad thing???”
“i mean yeah i’m not tryna Tarnish mark’s reputation”
“that is some self hatred bs he would be lucky to have you !!!!”
“renjun you don’t even know me that well yet”
“i know enOUGH”
you just uhh change the subject which renjun def notices but like
who cares
renjun apparently also goes to the same flower shop as you !!!
you find out because you see him drawing the front of it and you’re like heY i’ve been there my girl edna works there !!!!! she insist i call her grandma tho
and he’s all oh sHIT that’s my girl too !!!!!!
long story short edna is now your shared grandmother
now THAT is some uwu shit
you go about your day and it’s lunchtime and yOU uh don’t know where to sit :(
you see a girl that you met who works at the little coffee shop you like so you set off in her direction and you’re almost there when jeno and jaemin walk up and sling an arm around your shoulder from either side
“hEY BUDDY” -jeno
“SUP SQUIRT” -jaemin
and they start steering you in another direction towards their own table
“god of all nicknames you had to give me sQUIRT”
“yes it’s because you’re cute and small like squirtle”
“that’s a god damn reach if i’ve ever seen one but okay”
you get there and they practically TOSS you into the seat next to mark
he winces and gives you and apologetic pat on the back before starting the conversation
“alright so who actually did the summer reading”
as the table bursts into Absolute Ruckus you just kind of sit back and watch
mark notices you being quiet and while renjun and chenle are arm wrestling he leans over to quietly be like
“hey you doin okay over there? are they too much”
“oh not at all i’m just takin it in lmao”
“yeah that’s understandable. they’re easily the most entertaining group of people you’ll ever meet but also i’ve wanted to strangle every single one of them at least once”
“what are you 30??? you talk about them like you’re their mom”
“i mean someone’s gotta do it”
you and mark talk all throughout lunch and head to gym together since that’s next
exercising right after eating ??? sounds like a GREAT plan thanks so much public school system !!!!
you go to pull out your bag of gym clothes but ??? all you’ve got is shorts ?????
S H I T
you start whining because you’re like aWW i’m gonna get in trouble :(((((
and he’s like here i have like 12 shirts in here because i always bring too many and then leave some when i got soccer practice i gotchu
(he gives you the clean shirt that hasn’t been sitting in his locker <3333 what a guy)
you thank him proFUSELY and then go to the girls locker room to change
the shirt is too big and you don’t wanna look like a Bag so you tie a lil knot in it in the front
you don’t look like a thot tho you just look Cute As Fuck
some girl in the locker room lets you borrow a hair tie and off we go !!!
it’s the first day so everyone literally just stretches and sits around talking
you’ve hashtag LOST mark and you don’t have any friends yet so you’re just chillin talking to the girl who gave you a hair tie because she seems nice and you got nothin better to do
you’re explaining to her how to take care of a succulent /properly/ when mark catches a basketball that was headed right for you yelling a watch it !!!! over his shoulder
he turns to you and giggles a little, nudging your foot with his
“you’re just a danger magnet aren’t you”
“i mean danger is my middle name so”
“uGH get your ass over here away from all those freshman hoodlums who think they can play”
you wave bye to your friend because there’s literal fear in her eyes at the sight of mark ??
you ask her what’s wrong later and she’s like oh it’s not him i just have a crippling fear of boys
(that’s a mood)
you and mark pass a volleyball back and forth and fuck around pretty much all period
this is actually the one (1) sport he isn’t good at thank GOD you were worried he had no flaws
at the end of the class you ask him if he wants his shirt back and he says, and i quote,
“nah you and your thot knot can keep it, looks cuter on you anyways”
you smack his arm for calling you a thot but then thank him anyways for the shirt and for calling you cute :))))))))
econ passes the same way except normal clothing and no sports
although mark does throw a wadded up piece of paper on you that says u want 2 hang w the boys n me after school ? if yes then breathe if no do a backflip
this headass boy
you throw it back so it bounces off his forehead and then nod to confirm you will
you don’t have any of the boys in your last class and you don’t where to meet up so you just kind of loiter by your locker since jeno’s is pretty close to yours and maybe they’ll meet here ????
luckily jisung spots you and is like hey what r u doin here aren’t u hanging with us after school??? cmon
you follow him out to the parking lot where they’re all gathered around jeno and jaemins vehicles because apparently they’re the only ones with actual cars
rip
they start waving too excitedly when they see you and mark smiles all big
wooOOO baby boy already has a crush on you :3
they’ve apparently already decided to go to chenles house because apparently he’s fuckin loaded
you don’t believe that for a sECOND because he’s wearing crocs and an old ass polo shirt but
we’ll see
you mark and renjun ride with jaemin while the Babies ride with jeno since he is able to ignore them being crackheads in the backseat and drive his vehicle without crashing
apparently they’ve cause multiple vehicular accidents ??? possibly the reason renjun doesn’t have a car ???????
who knows
y’all have a blast in jaemins car tho playing tokyo drift from the third fast and furious movie if u haven’t heard that shit plEASE GO LISTEN WHAT A SONG HEHEHHEHHEHE
you pull into this BIG ASS house and you’re like no fucking way dude
and everyone else in the car simultaneously says
“i know right ???”
y’all pull in and go inside and it’s real nice holy SHIT
chenle comes in cackling followed closely be jisung and more sedately by jeno who looks ready to fckin die
you pat him on the shoulder and go you did well, soldier
he salutes solemnly before breaking out into the smile
y’all know the one
you UWU right there on the spot but hold yourself back from poking his cheek and cooing
chenle then SCREECHES and yells
“WHO IS TRYNA PLAY JUST DANCE”
and everyone crowds into his living room
somehow the couch is big enough to fit all of you comfortably that’s fckin impressive
you play just dance for 3 whole ass hours and now you’re Tired and Ready To Go Home
there’s a bus stop nearby and you insist upon walking since jaemin already have you a ride here and you didn’t even have gas money to give him :(((
mark goes to since you have to catch the same bus
you hum as you skip around the sidewalk and he walks behind you smiling fondly while you twirl around
he recognizes the song and whistles along and wow !!!!
Harmony™️
when you get to the stop you’re like 5 mins early
so to entertain yourselves you play rock paper scissors and each time the winner gets to flick the loser on the forehead
mark is a sweet boy so he flicks softly but you go all out
wouldn’t be surprised if he had a bruise tmrw girly u need to chill
you sit on the bus together when it arrives since there’s actually room now and he slumps down low until his head is pretty much rested on your shoulder
(our man maurice sees and is like GET IT GIRL but only so you notice and you make threatening hand motions at him)
you’re not sure if he’s asleep so you stay extra still just in case
and no one needs to know you rested your cheek on top of his head
but when it gets to your stop you’re like mark? mark lee??? mork ???? wake up ??? and you nudge him a little with your shoulder and he sits up and rubs his eyes aW
he slow blinks at you and goes
“hm?”
and you’re like i uh gotta go now
and he’s like :/// okay i’ll see you tomorrow and stands up and gives you a half hug before you go
maurice is DYING in the front you’re going to kill him
you walk home with a smile on your face and again your mom is suspicious of your good mood but you’re like aw it’s nothin just had a good day at school made lots of friends !!!!!!
as summer turns into fall you make more friends but you mostly hang out with the boys because they’re funny and nice to you and also Mark is there and we love our boy
you guys all attend football games together and go absolutely ALL OUT for whatever the theme is
for example: the theme was halloween and you all dressed as god damn SMURFS
it was legendary there was not one bit of you all that wasn’t covered in blue paint
jisung almost fought some girl who thought he was from the movie Avatar until everyone was like jisung cHILL OUT ITS NOT HER FAULT YOURE VERY TALL AND COMPLETELY BLUE
and well
can’t argue with that
it gets chillier though so you all bring blankets and cuddle most of the games
all of the boys suspiciously aren’t cold at first until you and mark share a blanket
they’re so obvious GOD
with each time y’all share you get more relaxed around each other until eventually mark has one arm slung around you and your legs are hooked over one of his thighs while y’all Snuggle
renjun waggles his eyebrows at you every five minutes and you discreetly give him the finger every time
little ASSHOLE
college applications are due like. right now
you all apply to a nice university close by as a backup/safe place and then apply to more brazy places just to see if you can get in
everyone’s been real stressed lately so you’re like !!!!! hey imma throw a friendsgiving party !!! yeehaw !!!!!!!!!
and you invite all of them over
“everyone bring smth and i’ll bake a ham or smth,,, i swear to GOD if all of you show up with store-bought pumpkin pie. i will kill you and then myself”
“what’s with you and pumpkin pie?”
“jUST. don’t”
((((srry i’m projecting my hatred of pumpkin pie onto u reader heheehehheh))))
everyone comes over and it’s really chilly so you have a fire in the fireplace and you have a couple of your gal pals over too
your mom is nice enough to leave y’all alone for the night and she’s not hurt since it’s not real thanksgiving
we stan moms
you bring out the ham and someone has brought green beans and mark ,,,, tHAT ANGEL he brought cornbread stuffing do y’all know what i’m talking abt
OOO THAT STUFF IS GOOD
and there’s sweet potatoes and apple pie and all the Thanksgiving Essentials
jisung wanted to be a dick so he brought cranberry jelly
“why don’t you have some:) cranberry preserves:) , jisung” -you, every 30 seconds
everyone sits down to eat and it’s LOUD so you’re like shut UP !!!!!!!!!!
“every1 say smth ur thankful for :3333”
“my family !!!!”
“you guys <3”
“awW BOOO” - everyone, while throwing things at jaemin
“my life !!”
“that i’m happy”
“gay” -chenle
“minecraft”
anyways no one took it seriously until it got to mark
“i’m grateful y/n moved here :))))))”
everyone goes KSKDDIDI and you blush and you’re like okay ily mark JSKKD
everyone EATS A LOT and then you go sit in a pile in the living room
you go to make hot chocolate for everyone and when you come back it’s , interesting how there’s only room for you next to mark . hm
you pass out the hot chocolate and everyone reaches Maximum Sleepytime
at this point you’re too tired to give a fuck and you just flop onto the couch next to mark and curl up into his side
he puts his arm around you to pull you close and this mf presses a tiny barely there kiss to your temple
you look up and like talk with your eyes
did u just
i did
oh
yeah
and then you just settle back down
it’s too crowded in here for any Moves to be Made
bUT YALL BEST BELIEVE WHEN ALL THESE YOUNGINS GET OUT UR HOUSE
you’ve got the karate kid on bc ??? who doesn’t love the karate kid and all of your cutie friends are asleep in various places
but once it gets super late you start waking people up and going hey i love you but your mom called mine like 8 times you gotta gO
you make sure everyone is awake fully if they’re driving and to text you when they got home safe
at long last
you’re alone
in your house
with mark
actually where is mark
mark has disappeared ?????
you start looking around for him and find him in your room ???
“you snoopin thru my things ??!?!??”
he jumps and is like uHH but you’re like nah you’re fine idc
so he continues and he was really just lookin at what kind of books you have and the little drawings and paintings and knick knacks everywhere
you just sit on your bed and observe him
let’s be real he’s nice to look at and you’d be perfectly fine doing this for uhhh the rest of your life
he pulls a book off your shelf and starts flipping through it until he pauses at a page
and his face blooms into this big smile and he looks hella giddy
and you’re like uhh hey whatcha lookin at there bud
and he just keep smiling and it’s a little smug now wtf
“when were you reading this?”
“oh uh i don’t know i got it this summer at that cute little bookshop”
“was it, by chance, the day we met?”
“i mean maybe??? why ????”
and he shows you the page and it’s tHAT oNE WHERE YOU WERE DOODLING BITS OF HIM AND WRITING HIS NAME ALL OVER IT
FUCK !!!!!!!
you immediately turn tomato red and snatch the book in to hold it tightly to your chest
“uhhh i do that with uhhhh eVerYONE I MEET”
“aw i thought i was special:((((”
he’s creeping closer to you this whole time until he’s INCHES AWAY
he gently pulls the book out of your hands and places it aside before grabbing your wrists and uncrossing your arms
“personally, i think it’s really cute”
you blush even more this man knows what he’s doing
you mumble a thanks with your eyes trained on his fuzzy socks what a dork
he releases one of your wrists to push your chin up so he can look you in the eyes
“do you really do that with everyone you meet?”
“,,,,,,, no it’s just you”
“alright cool”
and then he wraps his arms around your waist to pull you close til you’re pressed together chest to chest AW
he nudges his nose against yours and you close your eyes because your god daMN HEART IS POUNDING AND YOU CANT LOOK DIRECTLY INTO THOSE BIG PUPPY EYES
he presses the sweetest and gentlest of kisses to each cheek and then to the top of your nose
he presses one last lingering kiss on your forehead before he tilts his chin down to press your lips together
it’s so soft and innocent wow i’m going to SHED TEARS WRITING THIS
and he pulls away and you press your face into his neck in embarrassment
he chuckles a lil and rubs your back, leaning his cheek against your head
“hey, you down there”
you say “yeah?” but your voice is muffled by his neck and it’s more like eh ???
“my girlfriend y/n will you be ???”
what the fuck
you pull your head back so you can look at his face which is turning steadily redder
“uh what”
“shIT uh i meant will you uh bemygirlfriend”
your confused expression turns into a shit eating grin and you’re like
“what was that :)))) i didn’t hear you :)))))”
he groans and rests his forehead on your shoulder and pitifully whines out
“please be my girlfriend :(((((“
you pick his face up and hold it between your palms and he pouts playfully
“well how could i say no to that face”
and you smooch him right on those lil pouted lips
“yes i’ll be your girlfriend”
he smiles real big and smooshes you against him aw
wow so now you’re mark lee’s gf
LUCKY BITCH
lowkey you get a few threats but as soon as mark catches wind of that he stands on the statue in front of the school and announces that if anyone has a problem with you they’ve got a problem with him !!!!
and he looks like: ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ
you drag him down while apologizing to everyone in the general vicinity
mark is. veRY CLINGY NOW
i mean no complaints here it’s just
wow
you’ll be standing at your locker when BAM mark is wrapped around you from behind and you get a hey baby how’s ur day right in your ear
in gym class he restrains himself since the coaches are always like LEE KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF
but he always whines after and is like
:((((( but you look so cute in my shirt i wanna squish you
whenever mark comes over you force him to let you draw him at least once
each time it gets easier since you’ve started to memorize the details of his face and the knuckles of his hands and the shape of his shoulders
a lot of times he just comes over to watch movies and talk
he’s not an eloquent guy
(“you all look like pretty grass :)))” - mark lee)
but he gets what he needs to say out and he enjoys listening to you talk about whatever’s on your mind
you’ve started a glow in the dark star sticker collection to put on your ceiling and each time he comes over you put a constellation up there
so you’ll lay in bed and turn off the lights and just stare at the ceiling and try to name them all
soon you’ll just get sleepy though and press your face into his chest
he uwu’s every time :((((
after he’s done being astonished by his Baby™️ he’ll wrap his arms around you and stroke a hand up and down your spine wow
Real Relaxation Hours
your mom will come home and find y’all asleep and then SHE uwu’s and it’s just one big cute MESS
he loves to kiss you right as he’s leaving like he’ll lay one on you then RUN to the bus stop
p.s. maurice is on y’all every day saying he called it AY
his other favorite kisses are when he catches you off guard and just turns you around and kisses you and you’re like
I’m Confused But I Like This
lots of sweet pecks throughout the day and then longer slower stuff when you’re home and alone and relaxing
leaves hickeys on your neck literally just to be annoying
it’s oKAY THO DONT TELL HIM YOU LIKE IT
months pass and youve said your first “i love you’s” to each other and renjun is always like so when y’all gettin married huh
you both SMACK him simultaneously
but lowkey you would marry mark he’s the best and you love him so wHY NOT
but it’s early and you know that and you’re happy with what you have now :))))))
pls love and support our hardworking baby mark lee he is doing his best and i love him goodnight
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Jaden nd bastion for that domestic ask thing? >:3c
THE OTP YES i have so many feelings and everyone needs to hear me sob over the nerd baby and his superhero 
also that icon is the content i look for on this hellsite well done 
who is the big spoon/little spoon Jaden is the little spoon!! he prefers being the big spoon tbh he likes curling up against bastions fuckin ripped back but jaden always falls asleep first because he has to get this twelve hours or else he will be a grumpy boy but bastion?? bastion stays up all night drinking coffee and doing god knows what bc he’s the type of guy thats like ‘hey jaden im gonna go read a bit before i got to bed’ and then he fuckin stays up all night because he has no self control lmao so when it’s like 3am and he’s finally put down his book or finished dicking around on the computer he finally gets in bed and he doesnt want to wake up his husband (yes theyre married in my mind ok im love them) so he just lays down and pulls the human kuriboh to his chest and falls asleep 
what is their favorite non-sexual activity the standard answer is Card Games but besides dool masters they like to go on drives and look at stars and talk abt whatever. bastion is a chemical engineer and jaden’s his professional duelist trophy husband so they dont get to be together as much as they want bc jaden’s tournament schedule so when they’re together they gotta make it count u know so bastion will pick jaden up from the airport and they’ll just start driving out of the city talking about DM or what bastion’s been up to or whatever’s going through jaden’s mind (an enigma lmao) and then when there are no more streetlights to make it difficult to see the stars they’ll pull over and lay on the hood and cuddle and keep talking. it’s like 4am before they finally go home and since they’re going to sleep at the same time jaden finally gets his chance to be the big spoon 
who uses all the hot water in the morning getting jaden to shower is a fucking struggle he’s like a cat. living in the slifer dorm made him accustomed to being a generally gross person in general so he lives off dry shampoo and body spray so he doesn’t smell like hassleberry after a workout so that leaves bastion to take all of the water because he showers every morning after his run and insists on h is hair being perfect and well taken care of. like the guy has at least five different hair care products in the shower at all times while jaden, even though he’s dumb thick rich, buys that 3-in-1 crap he and syrus used to make stretch for a month back in college. jaden is also known to stick his kuriboh hair under the sink and shake it out like a dog because he is a gross boy that usually gets up about ten minutes before he has to leave so there’s no time for an actual shower and we’ve gotten away from the actual question but the tldr is bastion stands under the hot water he’s got one of those mirrors to shave in the shower while he’s doing his deep conditioning treatment and has a pore strip on his nose for beautiful ™ skin 
what they order from take out this one ties in a lot to my sageshipping BrOTP headcanons (on god there needs to be a brotp ask so i can scream to the world my love for bastion/alexis friendship) but the bit of background is that bastion and alexis would always order from this indian place that was open real late at night when they were in grad school together (no delivery at duel academy cause its an island u know) so it has a special place in his heart. jaden is a wimp when it comes to spice but since bastion loves it they order it anyway and the people that deliver the food know to make it wimpy baby spicy for jaden so he doesn’t end up sweating half his body weight up and crapping out lava four hours later 
what is the most trivial thing they fight over oh god they dont fight a lot because they love and appreciate each other’s eccentricities but if they’re going to fight its going to be over who’s doing the driving. they both love cars, bastion likes taking it apart and modifying them and whatnot and jaden likes the aesthetique (though his aesthetique is painting flames on a corolla jaden u lil shit smh) and they both like to go fast so when they go out they bitch abt who gets to drive. bastion tells jaden he doesnt appreciate the feel of the machine and jaden says bastion drives like a fucking old man so they end up settling the matter with rousing game of rock paper scissors 
who does most of the cleaning NEITHER OH MY GOD theyre both total slobs. bastion’s desk and home office is covered in his notebooks and duel monster cards, his walls covered with god knows what (formulas, dates, to-do lists, grocery lists) the guy just grabs the sharpie and starts writing because he’s afraid of forgetting something if he doesnt get it down right then. jaden lives in filth he has three day old bowls of cereal at his desk and uses used napkins as tissues he is certifiably NASTY. anyway they hire a housekeeper to make sure the entire house doesnt fall into disarray and she’s like their surrogate mother making sure they eat more than takeout and coffee and making sure the house smells nice. they call her Mama Cheryl (good middle aged mom name) and she’s the embarrassing mom at jadens local tournaments the kind that prints out huge pictures of his face and wears shirts with Neos on them and cheers for her boy v loudly. again we’re away from the question but i have a lot of headcanons abt this i’ll probs put in my dissertation lol 
what has a season pass in their DVR hmmm this is an interesting one…i like to think jaden loves crime shows because they’re heroes and he likes watching the good guys ™ win in the end. his favorite show is psych (which u all should watch its hilarious) but since that ended a while ago he’s been in to criminal minds and SVU because he likes watching the really diabolical criminals get caught. bastion never knew his mans was into such dark stuff until he opened the season pass thingy and got quite the heart attack because he thought jaden was all butterflies and flowers and funny stuff but bastion had to learn the duality of man the hard way. bastion doesn’t watch television that much but his guilty pleasure is vikings on the history channel and stuff on the discovery channel because he loves learning what a nerd 
who controls the netflix queue jaden is the one that likes to watch netflix the most but i wouldnt say he’s in control per se. they’re usually down for watching what each other likes but in the end jaden will sometimes end up superseding bastion because dammit bas we are not watching a documentary about the dead sea scrolls you dont even believe in god and bastions like fine youre cute we can watch Castle (even though thats not on netflix but i wish it were) 
who calls up the super/landlord when the heat’s not working jaden. jaden all the way. bastion brings up a a wikihow article about how to fix the hvac system and he’s like I CAN FIX THIS and jadens like ily babe but you work with chemicals not with this kind of thing ur gonna break it like the time u tried to fix the sink and fuckin clogged the shit out of it we are calling Cheryl and Cheryl’s like jaden im a housekeeper call someone who actually does this for a living. anyway while theyre waiting for the professionals to get there bastion tries to demonstrate he knows what he’s doing he is smort by writing the steps and shit on the wall and jadens like youre so cute but no dont touch the heating system. he has to distract his lil nerd by asking him about what deck he should use for his next tournament or what the probability of drawing three polymerizations on the first turn is and bastion loves talking about math so jaden keeps asking questions until the system is fixed (he doesnt remember much of bastions mathematical explanations but bastion looks so cute with his eyes all bright and shiny talking about statistics) 
who leaves their stuff around BOTH they are slobs. jadens a bit worse if we’re being honest because while bastion leaves his papers and cards around schmaden schmuki leaves his underwear and food and cups in the living room and is prone to stripping off his clothes for one reason or another and just laying on the couch watching ESPN with his goddamn pants on the floor and saying they were constricting his knees or some shit when bastion asks why he feels the need to be half naked all the time. bastion had his own room in college so he doesnt quite understand why jadens comfortable just answering the door with a trail of clothing behind him because most people that dont know him assume he’s been getting bizzay but nah he just be Like That
who remembers to buy the milk jaden do because he drinks milk in his coffee. bastion drinks it black so if theres no milk its like eh whatever but jaden is a mess without his caffeine and he hates how bitter and gross it is when theres no milk in it so even if jaden’s not the one going to the grocery store he’ll write it on the wall so bastion will remember it because his mans dont check his texts that often but anything on that wall he fuckin remembers and jaden doesnt understand why he be Like That 
who remembers anniversaries both! they are dumb thick in love with each other and they like to plan little things to do for the anniversary of their first date, when they made it official, their wedding, etc. jaden is much more extravagant and will do something like jump on the bed until bastion wakes up and then drag him out for breakfast and get atticus to sing a really off-key renditions of classic love songs and bastion blushes so hard and its so cute it should be criminal lmao. bastion will get jaden a cute little gift like one of those pictures where the artist takes a photo and paints it so they can hang it on their wall. or bastion will fine tune his duel disk or get him a new card for his deck. they are in big gay love and i love them so much 
thanks for this ask on god i just wrote 1800 words of tutorship feels i have a problem lol 
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