#im gonna fucking beat you in this fictional boyfriend

[cometchasr]

being somehow the most competitive ass when it comes to things im good at my entire goal now is just to beat kei at singing while having zero reference for how good his voice actually is. its like i randomly decided i need to one-up my new fictional boyfriend. this is fucking stupid. im fucking stupid. this is terrible.

thankfully, he does seem to have some sort of technique to add to the emotion in the voice! im pretty sure that technique wise i would beat him (maybe not solo; classical and rock singing are def very different) but im not confident on the emotions part

what the fuck am i doing ive become delusional

[byhuenii]

⊱☆⊰ COFFEE STAINED SHIRT

prompt— couples truth or drink with bf gojo satoru. (WC: idk) pairing— gojo satoru x fem!reader warnings— MINORS DNI! not proofread, fluff, maybe ooc gojo, typos, suggestive, maybe more im missing. a/n— these videos get me through boring days lol, i love these and yeah MINORS DNI. gojo’s questions are in blue and yours are in purple

“ are we already recording orr… ” satoru’s blue eyes squint at the camera crew who put up their thumbs as a yes now start the video.

YN : “ hi. my name is yn ln! ”

GOJO : “ and im satoru gojo, and this is truth or drink couples edition! ”

“ how long have you two been together and how did you meet up? ”

a sly smirk rolled onto satoru’s lips causing you to groan outloud. “ well if you insist~ she actually spilled coffee on my white shirt that i gifted myself for my own birthday! and 2 1/2 years ”

“ it didnt even look expensive ”, she mumbled under her breath, a few staff giggled

GOJO : “ what? ”

YN : “ nothing anyways.ill go first! ”

a small chuckle escaped her lips, “ oh wow starting off stong. okay what is your favorite part of my body ” her eyes deadpanned to the camera “ i already know what he is gonna say, and its gonna be my ass and boobs .”

GOJO : “ wrong its your heart, i love the way it beats and brings me comfort ”

the silence was evident, gojo tried not to laugh causing little hee hee tee hee slip out. you stared at the camera blank expression.

GOJO : “ it is your boobs and ass though. ” a wide smile plastered on his face

“ have you liked any of my friends? ” satoru happily placed the card down staring beams against you, you hesitated at bit your hand rested against the cup, “ see! she only had eyes on me—“

you took a shot eyes squinting at the bitter and hot aftertaste lingering on your tongue

GOJO : “ WHAT ?? ” “ WHO?? WHAT ??? ”

YN : “ nope i took a shot im not saying shit! ”

GOJO : “ …do any of them know..? ”

YN : “ well i wanna say both of them. ”

GOJO : “ BOTH? AS IN TWO?? ”

you cleared your throat “ anyways, what were your first impressions of me ”

GOJO : “ i thought you were really cute especially when you apologized after spilling the coffee on my shirt.. ”

YN : “ is that it? ” you smiled at how sweet he thought of you

GOJO : “ …and that i wanted to fuc— “

YN : “ OKAY OKAY FUCK. NEVERMIND I ASKED. JUST GO. ” your face turned red flipping off satoru who blew you a kiss

“ what is the one thing you wouldnt change about me? ” satoru rested his head in his hand kicking his feet from under the chair

YN : “ your beautiful big blue eyes. ”

GOJO : “ i was expecting you to say like my big dick or something but awww ”

you kicked his foot under the table “ yeah i guess i love that too. ”

GOJO : “ no no you do love it, you tell me all the time ”

“ okay shut up satoru. how many people did you have sex with while we were talking? ”

GOJO : “ zero, after you spilled that coffee on my shirt i only wanted you. ”

“ whats the meanest thing you said about me to your friends? ” gojo smiled, “ it cant be that bad ”

you sighed taking a shot, debating if you should pour yourself another shot.

GOJO : “ okay im hurt ” he exclaimed dramatically,

YN : “ you may of not had sex with other girls when we were talking but you flirted with them toru. ”

GOJO : “ ..hey i said i was sorry! ” his pout was evident

“ if you could change one thing about me what would it be? ”

GOJO : “ nothing. ”

YN : “ all quick.. ”

“ me or peeta mellark? ”

YN : “ both? ”

GOJO : “ no pick thats not fair! “

YN : “ okay well you obviously! i love my boyfriend more than some fictional man.. ” you looked over at the camera ans whispered peeta mellark,

GOJO : “ HEY I SAW THAT NO NO— “

“ have you ever faked an orgasm? ”

YN : “ no. ”

GOJO : “ im just that good ladies never settle for anything lower! ” he winked at the camera

“ have you ever thought of breaking up with me or taking a break? ”

GOJO : “ honestly once i did, but that was just because my job is so demanding i didnt want you to constantly be alone waiting for me ”

“ would you of dated me STILL if i had a child with another women? ”

YN : “ oh hell yeah i would, kid no kid it dont matter to me ”

“ what is my biggest flaw? ”

YN : “ you are very cocky and some times act like nobody can touch you or you think youre alone basically. ”

GOJO : “ well..damn ”

YN : “ its okay i still love you ”

“ have you every considered having an open relationship? ”

GOJO : “ i have thought about it BUT i don’t like the idea of open relationships. whats the point of being im a relationship if you are going to date another person? it doesn’t make me feel right either.. ”

YN : “ okay good cause i would’ve killed you if you said yes. ”

“ whats the nicest thing you’ve said about me to your friends? ”

GOJO : ww had meanest so obviously we need the nicest now spill.

YN : okay well, this was when we were in our talking stage. i already knew he liked me but i was trying to figure out my feelings and he waited for me and was so supportive. i think i cried and ranted to my friends about him the next day—

GOJO : i mean nobody should pressure nobody into a relationship

YN : see ladies NEVER SETTLE FOR LESS KEEP THOSE EXPECTATIONS HIGH.

GOJO : in the wise words of taylor swift “in a world of boys hes a gentleman!”,

YN : since when did you know tswift…

GOJO : …

“ if i was a leech would you still love me? ”

GOJO : “ aww yes, id put a cute little bow on you! ”

YN : “ really? id love a glitter bow— “

GOJO : “ i would keep you on my arm ans let you suck the shit out of me— “

YN : “ okay bye this video is over. MAKE SURE LIKE AND SUBSCRIBE— ”

GOJO : “ WHAT ALREADY? I WAS JOKING WAIT PLEASE, ”

A/N: :3 gojo :3

[plague-of-insomnia]

Man it reminds me of this meme

Like idk, im a younger millennial, and it was still very normal for our parents to beat us. So normal in fact, that it was expected (what do you MEAN you dont beat the shit out of your kid for misbehaving!?)

If taboo stuff was normalized... We wouldn't call it taboo.

If somebody wrote a shota x adult, it wouldn't have underage, or the tags, it would just be whatever gender pairing like m/m. there would be no acknowledgement whatsoever, or anywhere near the tags. It would just be a thing in society "so whens your boyfriend getting outta grade school" with the same dival of "so hows the weather"

But no, anti's wanna act like warnings are condonement for the material. Instead of like, warnings.

We dont put hairspray in the oven because it has "WARNING" talking about not to do that, and go obviously these people condone putting hairspray in the oven. (Or try to pass off responsibility like No The hairspray company is the reason my house exploded despite the clear warnings! I just didnt listen!)

Im ranting in here but seriously- anywy-

Hi eyeböll 🥺💕

Nope you’re absolutely right and I’ve seen others make the same point.

When someone tags their story with warning tags, that means they’re aware that the content is “bad.” In a sense it’s like how it used to be “warning, this fic has slash” bc that was considered by many to still be “wrong” or “gross” or even enough to get a fic nuked.

If someone thinks underage is 100% fine and normal and acceptable IRL, then why bother with a warning for it? Granted, sometimes I’ll add warnings when I personally don’t feel they’re necessary, but I like to err on the side of caution.

But yeah, antis like to argue that violence and murder is OK in fiction bc “everyone knows that’s wrong/bad” but underage or adult/minor (even aged up) isn’t bc not everyone knows pedophilia is wrong. (I have seen this exact argument, almost verbatim.)

But the thing is, most people agree that actual pedophilic behavior and (sexual) abuse of children is wrong. Yet you still see plenty of people commit murder or physically assault people IRL, and you still have a segment of parents and educators who believe in “spare the rod, spoil the child” to this day. (Yeah my parents hit us too, though I’m older.)

Antis arguments have more holes than Swiss cheese, and that’s partly bc they don’t know the meaning of the words they use (like “normalization” or “pedophilia”) and bc their whole movement is actually based on confounding disgust with morality rather than an actual logical argument.

They don’t like something, it makes them personally uncomfortable, and instead of avoiding that content, they just wanna remove all harm. And ofc that only applies to sexual content, because antis are hypocrites who don’t realize they’re parroting far right, extremist religious crap rather than being the “progressives” they believe to be.

It’s also ridiculous because a fan fic with a few thousand hits is not gonna normalize shit. If fiction affected reality so directly and extremely as antis claim, then half the world would be fucking their sisters after the popularity of Game of Thrones. But ofc they don’t attack HBO bc they have lawyers and such to shut anyone down, but some lone fan fic writer is an easy target.

(Not to mention if someone is sooo impressionable that reading one fan fic is gonna convince them of x being acceptable and OK, the problem is with THEM and not the fan fic. Because no matter what antis say, unless you’re like… 5 years old, you should have the maturity level to deduce that fiction is not something you should be taking life lessons from directly.)

Antis are bullies, plain and simple, who want control, and are too dense to realize the consequences of their behavior.

<3

[insufferablelust]

Hi I adore your writing I was hoping if you could,maybe write about Matthew and how he’s such a goofy,kind person always smilin and soft but behind closed doors he’s a rough,sadist dom and one day while you guys are out you’re teasing and being bratty and he keeps smiling and laughing with all his fans but you notice the little lip twitch and sadistic glint in his eyes and when you’re finally home; no mercy, spitting, face slapping, degradation but in that teasing coo just absolute filth pls 🥰

THRILLED (I) Matthew x Reader

Warnings : Heavy heavy heavy smut, with heavy degradation, rough bdsm setting, sadist!mgg, public setting (exhibitionism), face slapping, spitting, um.. oh! squirting, mentions of edging, pain kink, just.. its filthy, please please read with discretion.

NOTE THAT THIS IS A FANTASY ONLY, IM NOT REFLECTING THE ACTUAL CHARACTERS BEHAVIOR ON REAL LIFE, ITS A FANTASY ONLY. ITS JUST A FICTION. IF YOU ARE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH THESE THINGS PLEASE PLEASE DO NOT READ.

Masterlist here! Let me know if ya’ll are interested in part 2.

it’s thrilling, the fact that you know him that well is thrilling. Know that the person you’re seeing right now is only a part of him, the part of him that he let others see, the part of him that takes you to cute dates, the part of him that hold you hand tightly sometimes kissing your knuckles as you walk through the park. It’s a part of him that everyone get to have a taste of— yet deep deep down there’s something darker, something that only you could handle, something that he only trusts you to know, something primal— a need.

When you first met Matthew, you hadn’t thought about him that way— as an actual sadist. You are a friend of Paget’s and she was the one that introduced you to Matthew. First dates were cute, themeparks, cafes, movies, ice skatings— all the clichés. However, 3 Months into your relationship, you discovered the other side of Matthew.

The side that had you whimpering at the sole thought of him, the side that you worshipped on your knees every damn night, the side that you were first introduced by an accidental mouth off incident— well it wasn’t necessarily accidental, in fact you did act bratty on purpose, you wanted to see just how far he would take it,

And oh boy, did he take it far..

~~~

You were nothing but a whining, whimpery, shaky mess when he was done with you. It was like your nerves were exposed, it was like you were actually in heaven, The pain was almost bearable— the ones delivered from the smack of his palm on your ass, the ones delivered from his teeth sunken onto your neck, the one from his belt, so on.. so forth.

But with the pain, comes the pleasure.. oh they did come alright, you never thought that you could orgasm so many times before that night, you never thought you could be that soaked, soaking wet before that night, you never thought you would crave the feeling of his fingers shoved down your throat, cock railing your cunt like a mad man, and his voice... oh that voice of his that belittled you, it sent nothing but excitement, thrill, and you fucking love it.

Thrilling, you were thrilled as you smile at him, he was taking pictures with few fans you both met on the park today. What they didn’t know was that, your Matthew was just telling you what he would do to you tonight for not wearing any panties whilst you both strolling down on the park when they called him and ask for a picture.

You let out an amused giggle, as you watch his lips twitched, his fist balled a little too tightly, and his eyes harden at the sound of your cute giggles. You were enjoying this, he could tell— he could tell very well, and if you thought you’re getting away with this, oh how you are wrong sweetheart.

“Do you want me to shove you up that tree and mark your ass senseless?” He smiled gently, as he caressed your cheeks— your eyes widen at him, alarmingly looking around to see the girls had backed up and went back to wherever they came from, you turned your gaze back to him slowly when he harshly pinched your chin and kiss the edge of your lips,

“Guess not, so shut the fuck up or i swear i’ll edge you six ways to sunday, little one.” He said the last bit with a mocking tone. For anyone, it were to appear that he was whispering something sweet probably, or something dirty perhaps, but definitely not about beating your ass til its purple, yet you were drenched, so drenched that you could feel it dripping down slowly, so slowly down your thighs

“Matth-“

“Ah ah, taught you better than that.”

“Sir.. Pleaae, i..” You tiptoed slightly before hugging him close and whisper on his ears “Dripping d-down my legs.” He chuckled, laughed even before pouting a bit, pressing your foreheads together “Fucking slut, too mindless to know your damn place, get in the car.”

~

The car ride back home was brutal, his fingers shoved inside your cunt, precisely 3 of them as you seated with your head cushion adjusted so it allows him to fuck you with his fingers, the pace was unforgiving but so were his words that drove you crazy. He placed the seatbelt on your body as a way to keep you restrained as he continues on makin you cum.

“Just imagine what everyone would think if they had the chance to see you like this, hm? to see you practically fucked braindead with only my fingers.” You moaned, moaned so loud as he sped up, furiously trying to get you both home safe as well as finger the living soul out of you.

“Gonna make sure you fuckin learn your lesson tonight, doll. Gonna make sure you won’t prance around outside without your damn panties like a cheap whore that you are for me. You understand that, bunny? or are you too much of a mindless brat that needs her cunt filled all the time to think huh?”

You came, you came then so hard, so hard that you squirted on his expensive leather car-seat. The air around you were buzzing, you were trembling and your mind were fuzzy, so fucking fuzzy that you bit down on his arm.

Your boyfriend just made you cum like a maniac in his car, and you knew for a fact that was only the appetizer for the night.

And you’re, Thrilled.

~

Alright! this is the new fic i was talking about, its an mgg fic and please note that its only a fantasy! i’m going to see how ya’ll respond to this, please send in feedback so i’ll know! thank you to the person who requested, you made me feel inspired again! ily all!

[baroquebucky]

jealous boy

a/n: it’s four am pls forgive any mistakes also i wrote a lil blurb abt this but idk if i should post what we thinking ?? pls give me feedback it keeps me motivated :-( srry if this is shit lmao

timmy rarely gets jealous

mainly bc theres no situations for him to get jealous

you are always quick to ignore any advances made towards you or timothée is always there to prevent any guy from even attempting to flirt

until you decide to go to a bar w timmy against your will

you had wanted to stay in and watch Star Wars, but alas h convinced you other wise, persuading you to get ready to head out to a new bar he found

“but kylo-” you started and he groaned, mumbling something about how you care more about a fictional character than him.

he grumbled for a couple more seconds before you rolled your eyes and got up to get ready, making him kiss you all over and make him giddy

at first timothée had his arm wrapped around your waist, then he started talking w his hands and let you go

you got lost in conversation and you eventually just left his side completely, wondering around the bar

you sat at the bar, slouching in your seat when a man sat next to you, obviously trying to flirt

timothée kept his eyes on you the whole time, glancing between the director infront of him and you talking with this man

he noticed your small smile forming and he knew you were giggling

his blood fucking boiled, only he made you giggle like that, who the fuck does this guy think he is

He held off from going over, not wanting to be rude to the director he was talking to, but he couldn’t focus when he knew you were laughing with someone who wasn’t him

“I’m sorry but if you’ll excuse me i have to take care of something” he spoke quickly, making quick strides towards you

he calmed himself down on his way over, stopping halfway through, thinking to himself how stupid he was being

until you titled your head back laughing and the guy touched your arm smiling at you

oh no. Timothée felt his nostrils flare and he clenched his jaw, he quickly walked next to you, his eyes glaring at the man

“oh look who decided to remember i existed” you rolled your eyes, decided to be bold

“y/n dont” timothee spoke lowly

“you’re her boyfriend? gotta admit i expected a little more, i mean look at her” the man winked at you, obviously drunk you blushed deeply

“excuse me?” Timothee growled, god if you didn’t stop him he was gonna fucking beat this man up

“I mean she deserves so much better than you! For fucks sake you left her because what? You wanna land a role” he rolled his eyes, timothée clenched his jaw

“y/n i can show you some real fun if you want” he spoke, mainting eye contact with timothee, he knew what he was doing

that’s all it took

timothee grabbed him by the shirt, lifting up to keep eye level with him, timothées eyes were no longer the light color you came to love, rather they were dark and full of rage

“You watch your fucking mouth” he spoke, his fist clenching this mans shirt tightly, his other hand was balled into a fist, nails digging into his palms

“or what? You gonna hurt me? Please you won’t do shit” the mean laughed in timothées face, it didn’t take you long to sober up a bit and realize what was about to happen

Timothée was quick to let the man down and you pressed you gentle hand to his back

He turned to you, eyes dark and face flushed, you could see his muscles flexed through his shirt, his breathing was ragged

“hey let’s go home angel okay?” You spoke softly, you laced your hand through his, your touch calming him

“I knew you wouldn’t do shit, she could do so much better than you” the man laughed from behind you

You screwed your eyes closed “why’d you have to go and say that!” You groaned knowing what timothée was gonna do

In a flash timmy had let go of your hand, his fist landing on the mans face, a not so quiet crack could be heard, everyone becoming quiet as the mans nose started bleeding

“What the fuck did you say?” Timothée spoke, everyone stared in shock, here was the same boy who giggled nervously every other word

Timothée was enraged to say the least, his breathing was rough, eyes dark, muscles flexed and he looked so powerful.

For a second even you were scared to approach him, his stance making him look taller than he was, you quickly grabbed his hand before he could hit the man again, pulling him away quickly

Timothées jaw was still clenched, he held you close to him as you both left, the crowd of people scurrying out of his way, everyone suddenly afraid of angering the curly headed brunette

The cold New York air hit his flushed face and you let out a sigh

Timothée was still shaking in anger, his knuckles slightly red from punching the man

“angel, baby look at me calm down” you spoke softly, timothée only grumbled, pacing back and forth

“Who the fuck does he think he is? Making you giggle? Youre mine” he spoke, his voice low and deep, you had never seen him this angry before

“mon amour relax!” you replied, grabbing his wrist and pulling him into a hug, hoping it would call him down

“can’t believe he had the nerve to even look at you” he spoke, nuzzling his head into your neck, kissing the skin softly

you held him tightly, the wind blowing around the two of you, letting him calm his breathing

“I’m sorry amoureuse i didn’t mean to ignore you, i just got caught up and-” he began, you quickly shut him up, placing your lips on is.

it was a quick but passionate kiss, lasting only a couple seconds but the two of you pulled away breathless

you gave him a soft smile which he returned, grinning shyly

“that was kinda hot im not gonna lie” you mumbled under your breath, it wasn’t unnoticed by timothée, seeing as though he pulled you along faster to your car, racing home, adrenaline pumping

timothée rarely got jealous, but when he did it sure was a sight for sore eyes

[junova]

Wishful Thinking [P.P] [S.R.]

Summary: AU!Peter just can't seem to let the past go and you with it. 

Pairing: AU!Peter Parker x Reader, AU!Steve Rogers x Reader im really a whore for au scenarios for reference peter is early 20s and reader as well (its just how imagined it tho)

Word Count: 3.5K+ 

A/N: Hey guys! It has been a hot ass minute since I have posted anything I have written and I’m little nervous if I’m being honest. Any feedback is welcome and appreciated! If you wanna give this post a little love, you would own my fucking heart. I really hope you enjoy reading this piece as much as I enjoyed writing it. It’s really close to my heart, as always pushing my emotional trauma into fictional characters! Yay! Anyhow, happy reading! 

“Don’t.” The moment those words left her mouth, he felt attacked. Who was she to tell him to not go for it? He hadn’t seen her in years and of all the places he could possibly run in to her, it was the place they met. The building which their love used to stand on and she had the audacity to say “don’t”. 

“Excuse me?” Hopefully, if he played dumb enough she wouldn’t know what he was planning. She wouldn’t be suspicious, but the way her eyebrow was arched told him differently. He definitely was not going to get away with this, easily. “Look at her. She’s happy.” 

“But do you know that for certainty? How do you know she’s getting what she deserves?” Wanda laughed. The audacity Peter had sometimes over you. Disgustingly, claiming you as if he owned you. “Because she’s no longer with you. The universe was doing her a favor.” He frowned. He wasn’t that bad of a boyfriend. Was he? 

“I loved her.” 

“Not nearly as much as you love yourself. Everyone in this room knows that. You showed everyone exactly who you were really are. After everything you put her through, do you really think it’s best to bring up the past? Just leave it alone.” 

Wanda words pierced through him roughly, but he had always been stubborn. Yes, he lied, but only because he was trying to protect you. He had a itching feeling if you knew the truth, you would have never been with him in the first place. In the moment, he had needed you terribly and even know with you a world away and wrapped in another man, he still needed you. For Peter, it went past a want. 

“But I-“ He countered back, before he was interrupted by the one person he had been trying to avoid. 

“Parker! You finally decided to show your face, huh?” Michelle hollered at her friend, but all he could focus on was who stood beside her. There she was. Less than five feet away from him, looking like a complete goddess. Obviously, she hadn’t changed one bit. Still appearing as beautiful as the last time he saw her, only this time they were all gathered for celebration. Instead of the unfortunate circumstances they had met under last time. 

Peter hated to admit, but she looked much happier. Her aura was practically glowing and he hated it. Selfishly, he hated that you looked happy because he was wrecked. Even if he had been the one to break your trust and heart in on crushing punch, it still pained him. Constantly, you were on his mind. Replaying the last conversation he had with over and over like a broken record. Maybe if he had chosen different words to break it down, you would have been able to forgive him. Maybe if he had actually told you, instead of you finding out on your own, your relationship towards him wold have been salvageable. 

Looking at you now, Peter began to feel even more of a goddamn idiot. Even now more than ever, he felt the insecurities of you being out of his league. He always knew it was a little too good to be true. That you, goddess in the flesh, chose Peter Parker to be your boyfriend. Out of every guy that came your way, you chose to be with someone like him. He swore you were the most beautiful person he had ever met in his life. The moment he looked into your eyes, he knew he was fucked. The purity of which they held made Peter forget about every little horrible event which happened in his miserable life. Wanting nothing more than to focus on you and he did for a while. He had the privilege to be the man on your arm. 

Well, until now when Peter realized there was another heavy arm wrapped around her waist. One which certainly didn’t belong to him. Had she already moved on? So, quickly might he add. There were parts of him that didn’t blame you. He didn’t blame you for moving on so quickly to another, even if it was the man he had always been insecure of. God, how he wanted to say something to you when he found out. He wanted to be offensive about and blame you for everything. Even went as far getting hammered one night, mumbling to Wanda how you had broken his heart by finally getting with Steve. You had been the one to ruin the magical bond between the both of you. Nearly pressing your contact in his phone, before Wanda confiscated it from him. 

It was the first time it dawned on him that he wasn’t worthy of you. Not anymore. 

“Yeah, I did. Not feeling so sure about it now.” His eyes directed towards yours, which caused you to divert your own towards the floor. Peter giving you his full attention, even if everything inside of you was hoping he would look in any direction but your own. God, why couldn’t you just look at him like you used to. 

“Aww, lighten up Pete. It’s only going to get worse by the second.” The distaste in Michelle’s tone was rightfully placed. She was sticking up for you. Even when you had always been too polite to say anything negative towards Peter, she wasn’t that nice. It’s not like he didn’t deserve it. 

It did in fact get worse by the second. 

Obviously, you were uncomfortable being here. The body language you presented showed it all. Your body was turned towards the man holding onto you, your own body leaning against his. Peter noticed the grip you had on Steve like he was the anchor centering you. The one thing bringing you back down from your anxiety which liked to hold you above ground. 

This exact stance, is the one who you took with him many times. You shifted your body from side to side because you were anxious, scared even. You did it when you were uncomfortable and were contemplating one what to do next. Then, there was the head on his chest. Often, you had told Peter it was comforting. Instead of focusing on your heartbeat which only seemed to increase rapidly during a heightened situation, you liked to listen to something steady. Something that could bring you out of the distress you felt yourself taking a part of.  But the hand holding, that was new. 

Whenever you were having a panic attack, you always claimed you couldn’t be touched. But here you were having one, and Steve was touching you. Maybe you had lied to Peter, too. Maybe you liked to have your hand held when panic speed throughout your mind. Maybe it was just Peter’s hand you didn’t want to hold. 

“Michelle.” Wanda warned, but frankly she didn’t care. If anyone should feel like the bad guy, it wasn’t her but Peter. 

Peter fucking Parker. 

“Are you kidding me? We’re all just gonna act like nothing happened? Like we all haven’t seen each other in months because of this imbecile.” Peter flinched, leave it to Michelle to expose the elephant in the room and shoot it dead on the living room floor. 

“MJ, just leave it. Okay?” You finally spoke up. It was obvious you were uncomfortable. Hell, everyone had to be. You didn’t want to bring conflict within the group, even though Michelle had no problem with it. 

“He doesn’t deserve to be let off the hook just because we’re all friends.” Michelle was hell bent on defending you, but you just thought the past was best left behind. You certainly didn’t want to rehash the heartache you’ve been trying to move on from. 

“Clearly, I’m not, Michelle. Okay? Tonight isn’t even about me. Can we just focus on Natasha and Bucky? Please.” She finally caved, giving him one last glare before storming away. 

“Hey, I’m gonna go talk to Bucky. I’ll be right back. Promise.” Steve whispered in your ear, before kissing your temple. “Will you be okay?” He gave your hand which was intertwined with his own a small squeeze, as if to let you know he was speaking. You gave him a small nod, before giving him a light peck, letting him know you were going to fine.  Strutted off in the opposite direction, Wanda took that as her opportunity to stay. She sure as hell wasn’t going to let Peter do something unbelievably stupid with your boyfriend mingling in the same room. 

Peter was about to speak before you beat him to the punch. 

“Well, huh. That was….interesting.” Wanda breaking the unbearable silence between you and Peter. Huh, she expected him to say something. Guess he wasn’t as confident as he appeared. 

“Michelle’s sure on one tonight.” 

“More like on her second bottle of red wine for the night. Definitely, will not remember anything she says or does tonight.” Trying to forget Peter was sitting right there you continued to talk to Wanda. It had been months since you’d seen her and you really missed her. 

She was just asking you about Steve, when her husband called her, politely dismissing herself for just a moment. Cursing Vis for calling her, how was she supposed to cockblock the biggest asshole there was from across the room? 

Minutes passed until Peter found the courage to speak anything in her presence. “You look nice.” God, he really wanted to beat himself up. How could those be the first words he spoke to you after everything had happened? 

“Peter, really?” You questioned. Even now, he liked to play the dumbass. The oblivious boy who had done nothing wrong and that only made you want to cry in anger. But you had indulged yourself in those feeling for far too long. If he wanted to play, you were out for the win. Even if your entire body was shaking in fear, you wouldn’t let him know that. 

“What? You do look nice.” Endearingly enough, his chocolate brown swirls peered out with an innocence he no longer held. How could it after he had hurt the one who he promised to love? “I don’t know. I just figured you might wanna apologize first, before handing me a compliment like we’re friends.” Peter’s body shifted, adjusting the button on his dress shirt he was sporting. Now suddenly feeling suffocated by it. Pondering, if it had always been buttoned up to the collar or if he was just starting to feel it now. 

“We are friends. Before everything, we were friends.” You leaned closer, and suddenly he had forgotten how to breathe. “We were friends, Peter. Then we dated, then we broke up.” 

“And now, friends.” Peter weakly argued. Such a child, if only he would give up and learn his lesson. “Peter that’s not exactly how the timeline goes. You have to apologize. Maybe? Just a fucking thought.” He could hear the disappointment drip in your voice, scolding him like a child who touched a lit stove top. He should apologized. Scratch that. He should have already apologized, but Peter was stubborn. Something you knew a little too well. 

“For what? The feelings I felt were obviously justified, you’re with Steve.” There it was. The one thing you felt guilty for. Steve. Your precious Steve Rogers. The perfect partner which stayed hidden, right under your nose until he made himself known. It was quite recent, but it didn’t matter if you told Peter that. It wouldn’t matter that Steve waited until you were ready. It wouldn’t matter to him that Steve had waited until you stopped crying over Peter every night for three months straight. Not pouncing on you at your most vulnerable, but waiting for you until you stood on your own two feet. All of it didn’t matter to Peter. In his mind, the only thing he knew saw was you were with Steve and not him. Furiously enough, it made his blood boil. Even if he had dug his own grave, you just had to be with him. Out of anyone you could have picked, it was the man he felt inferior to. 

“Leave Steve out of this. He is none of your business. My relationship with him is none of your concern. The moment you lied to me about her, we were dead, Peter. You used me from the very get go. You didn’t want me, Peter. You never did. I was just a rebound for you.” Then it started, always with the hands. Fingers hidden under the bar, began to shake. You were scared of this conversation. Confrontation wasn’t something that came easy to you and Peter being the most stubborn man in the world, didn’t make it any easier for you. 

“Of course, I did. I only wanted you.” And the lying started. Again. 

“You wanted me for your own selfish reasons! I wanted a life with you, a future with you. I was a complete idiot and put my trust in you. Where did it get me Peter? It left me with everything blowing right up in my fucking face.” Peter’s face paled. Never had he seen you this angry, entirely filled with rage and it was all because of him. Every negative feeling you had ever felt for him was evidently suppressed, and now your emotions were resurfacing. You didn’t even care if you were making a scene. You needed to say what had been itching at you for months. 

“I-I-I d-do-n’t. What?” Quickly, Peter became a blubbering mess. He was sitting there not knowing what to say, when all you wanted was an apology. In fact, the only thing you wanted from him. You just wanted him to realize how selfish he had been, but he simply couldn’t meet the expectations set for him. 

“You still don’t get it. Do you?” His eye twitching and his hands shaking, entangled with his own revelation. Peter thought he was good boyfriend. He showed up when it mattered. Yeah, the ending of the relationship had been a little rough around the edges, but he though he was just protecting you. He would have never been good enough for you, so he settled for someone who was. At the time, he thought he was making the right desicison. 

He really was a complete dumbass. As he was here in front of you, he realized he had really fucked up. I mean, he knew he already had but actually hearing you say you wanted a future with him messed with his head. It mad had something to do with you never actually uttering those words to him in the entirety of relationship, but only when the t’s were crossed the i’s were dotted. It just seemed terribly cruel when you were so clearly out of reach for him to grip onto. 

“Pete, I loved you and I didn’t want anyone else other than you. Then, you made me your second choice. How do you think that felt? One day were solid, and then the next you were gone. You didn’t even give me a choice because you had already made one. You didn’t talk to me. You certainly didn’t trust me with your feelings and you no regard for my own. You ruined us, Pete.” Just like that the tears began to fall and you wanted to get the hell out of here. But you had to get through this conversation, not for Peter but for you. 

There went his heart, but it wasn’t for the tears cascading down your cheek, but for what you had called him. You called him Pete. He only let you call him that, always claiming he hated and much rather his full name. Ever since he was little, he was really never fond of nicknames. Of course, until he heard you say it. Then, he fell in love with the name Pete which was sung to the tune of your voice. Deeply, did he wish you were saying it different circumstances. He dreamed of it even, but this was reality. Not his fantasy where you would come back running into his open arms. 

This was it. If he ever wanted to be friends with you again, he had to make his peace with what he had done. Peter Parker was finally giving in. “I never felt good enough for you. After college, when Gwen and I had split up, I was miserable. I didn’t what I was doing with my life. Until I met you and this whole other side of me was unleashed. Every terrible feeling I had ever felt vanished whenever I was with you. You became this light in my life, quite literally guiding me through without even realizing it. Maybe I put you on a pedestal and that’s probably why I thought I can never give you what you needed, but I was scared. Okay? I was scared you would do the same thing Gwen did to me.” You laughed bitterly, the irony of becoming what he was so afraid of you. 

“You could have just talked to me. I always there for you, always. I never left until you made me. You could have just communicated what you were feeling and I would have listened.” 

“I wasn’t ready. How was I supposed to tell you? I was paralyzed with fear as you can tell.” You sighed, as he was staring at you with those honey eyes. The nagging, forgiving side of you just wanted to bring him back in. To comfort him until all of his pain vanished, but the stronger part how he left you for Gwen consumed you. 

“Pete, I know now, but can you honestly tell me that were completely over Gwen. If you went back to her, don’t you think there were still some unresolved feelings. Love or not, you still had feelings for her. It’s okay, I just, I’m really tired of everything going on between us. How it’s effecting our friends. Michelle can barely stand to be around you and that’s partly my fault. I probably told her too much and now she thinks differently of you. The mess should have stayed between us. I just want to clean it up, Peter. I want this all to be over with. I need us to be done. Clean slate. For you. For me. For Steve. For our friends. A new beginning where our baggage stays in the past.” 

Even when you were angry, you were still kind. You truly had the purest of intentions, even after he drug your heart through the mud, you held yourself with grace and mercy. None of which he knew how you held such a tight grip on. 

Suddenly it the revelation dawned on Peter, you were forgiving him. 

“I-I don’t know what to say.” Peter sighed, any plans he had to win you back had fled and the only thing he felt now was guilt. Even though he was one hundred percent in the wrong, you were the one to wave the red flag in surrender. Always being the bigger person when he was incapable of it. Really, when he didn’t have the will for it, but you did. For the both of you, no matter how much it hurt. 

Even if you weren’t getting the answers you had originally came for.  

_______________

“How’d it go?” Steve’s arms found your waist, pulling you close to his chest. “Good, for the most part. I think we’ll finally be on speaking terms now. More accurately, I will finally speak with him.” Giving you a small peck to your shoulder, before turning you around so you were facing him. “Can I ask you something?” 

“Hmm.” You looked in his deep, ocean eyes. The love he poured into you, truly unmatched to anything you had ever felt. “Do you still love him?” 

“Like in love? Or just love? Two very different things, peach.” 

“Just, um, like in love?” His voice going up an octave higher, slightly afraid of the answer you would give him. If Steve could count on one thing, it was your honesty. Time and time again, you had showed him it was what you valued most. Considering your past, he understood why. 

“I was in love with my boyfriend, Peter Parker. The man who I thought loved me through and through. I pictured a life with him, and future with him. God, he met my parents even and they loved him to absolute death. My dad told me after we broke up, he even asked for his blessing. That he wasn’t ready, but some day he would be. Of course, the golden boy image Peter sold to them was more than believable so he gave it to him. Shit, like, how could he you know? Obviously, he was clearly still so in love with Gwen since he left me for her. I just wish I would have known about her, but he never alluded to anything about her and I never had a reason to doubt him. He was perfect with me. Right until it wasn’t. 

“So, no. I don’t. My love for him died the very moment he chose her over me.” You began to cry again, and god did Steve hate seeing you cry. Silently, cursing himself for even bringing it up in the first place, but the insecurity of Peter being your first love crept in. What if you had changed your mind one day? What if you decided one morning all was forgiven and left him? It wasn’t the most unreasonable thought. People can change. What if you would? But little did Steve know that you forgave Peter, but still were very much in love with the blue, eyed man in front of you. 

Immediately, Steve embraced you, holding you in his arms like they could protect you from any harm which came your way. Quite frankly, they very well could. In moments like these, everything else seemed to fade. He could make you forget about all the hurts of the past and center you on the future. 

“I wish I would have manned up and asked you before you met Peter.” Steve whimpered. He really had a want to protect you and it only made you love him more. You wanted to tell him so badly, but it just didn’t feel right. “I don’t. I wasn’t ready for you back then.” You joked half-heartedly. 

“I’m gonna pretend that you didn’t just gut me.” Once you started kissing him, he didn’t really have much to complain about. Sweet and soft, his lips slanted over yours perfectly. The familiar taste of strawberries invading your senses, slightly ecstatic he had finally started using the chapstick you had begged him to start using. You didn’t mind kissing his slight chapped lips, since it was Steve, but smooth was so much better in your opinion. 

“Doll, I’m sorry. I brought it up. I know it isn’t the easiest for you to talk about it. I really should be more mindful of it.” Even when he wasn’t trying, he was an absolute sweetheart. It only caused your heart to soar, more than ever. “No, don’t be. It’s important to me to talk about these things. To work through, them. You know? Evidently, I’ve never really been the greatest communicator, but I want to be. With you, I want to be better because this is the most important relationship in my life. Just you and I, peach.” 

You lowered your hands that were wrapped around his waist, before resting them on his perfectly shaped bum. You certainly didn’t miss the blush which spilled out over Steve’s cheeks, at your new position. “God, I hope no one ever finds out the reason you call me that.” Steve shamefully admitted. 

“Peach, have you seen your ass? It’s not like it’s a secret.” You giggled when he grabbed yours, and honestly you were surprised. He was never this forward, at least not in public. “Trust me when I saw no one is staring at mine, when you have an ass like that.” He gifted you with light peck before dragging you along to the group of your friends. 

But Peter? He watched the entire interaction. His eyes focused on you since you conversation had ended. It was clear you were over him, but he wasn’t over you. Surely, he could change your mind. He had done it once and he would stop at nothing to do it again. 

________________

[happytroopers]

Andor eps 2-  4 shit post

Maybe its my depression maybe its the show but I'm entirely apathetic towards this series so now im like 5 eps behind but this is me trying

Ep 2 spoilers below duh

-starting with a flashback tbh the flashback scenes were the More interesting bits from the first ep

-I love when there's random seemingly defect machinery just everywhere in Star Wars

-strip mining????

-idk who this man is or what he's doing but I love it

I wanna be Star Wars dramatic bell clanger

Star Wars Quasimodo

most of this show is just different characters suspiciously speed walking through alley ways

momma andor???

"It's all your women I'm worried about." Icon behaviors

oh what's his face is gonna turn Cassian in bc he's jealous I'm calling it now

I know this bc men suck

fuck u box's boyfriend who's name I can't remember. I was on board with you until you did this

this show is so dark. like lighting wise. I'm in my pitch black living room and im still having trouble making out all the faces

put me back on Tatooine where the desert suns burn my retinas through my silly lil screen

"corporate tactical forces" privatized police you mean

I love that this guy despit4e being ostensibly handsome definitely gets no bitches. Absolutely no play

I have that lantern in my camping gear rn

not to be off topic... I wonder what Boba is doing rn

its 5 years pre rogue one, so I'm assuming bounty hunting and being generally annoyed at Han Solo's existence but like... I want to go to there. (there is boba's lap)

insert the Cassy-Casssssy tik Tok audio here but this time its Cassian- Kassaaaa

are those Jedi issue sir? Ahhh fives I miss u every day

BELL MAN BELL MAN BELL MAN

hes an icon. fave character too far

abandoned after imperial mining incident.. Mandalor type beat

at least in legends

Edward Cullen type beat

how many darks can this bad boy hold

also are they poison or just tranqs

-that is an UGLY ship

-IS THAT BILL FROM MAMMA MIA

-THAT'S BILL FROM MAMMA MIA

-"if you can't find it here it's not worth finding" me at my local thrift store

-wow were two episodes in and approximatley one thing has happened. And it was the thing that happened int he first 5 mins of the first episode

EPISODE 3 spoilers obvi

-I want to be interested so bad

-pls let my depressed lizard brain latch on to this

-also why does Tumblr fuck up my formatting when im on desktop

-desktop is supposed to work better and yet

-why does this give me among us vibes

I never even played among us

for some reason I feel as though this is going in the direction of somehow in some indirect way something Cassian does is gonna be the root cause of Kenari's mining incident

that seems very par for the course

me too Cassian. I also react that way when I see my reflection

BILL FROOM MAMMA MIA

idc what his Star Wars name and back story is

just as with the marvel movies- that is simply Bill Anderson, Swedish adventurer, author, and singer of silly songs

soo not mamma andor

ahh I FORGOT THE FLASHBACKS WUOLD BE REPUBLIC ERA

perhaps even clone wars era

idk what that weapon that bill's got, but I like it

"the drowser" new gear just drpped

"you know how cold she gets" im soft

aww even fictional cops break citizens rights

bc hes a rat

of course his name is fucking Tim

Bill that was Optimus prime level inspiration

woah I love the organized signaling

bill I love you

a lil attracted to u rn

what is the lay out of this building

was it made to be one big OSHA violation

what is its purpose other than dramatic destruction

RIP Timm this was kind of ur fault

I love how even despite the fact that we know Cassian is a morally grey character, we're really doubling down that these blue guys are evil evil and it wasn't just those two assholes

love cassian emerging from the shadows

very sexy of him

they even made gun ships, my fave ship, ugly

lmao

RIP to the cop that got exiled

SHIT BOX SPEEDER IM IN LOVE

NO

smart but sad. that speeder waS neat

I swear I know the Maarva actress

"we need to get out of here." no response "SIR WE NEED TO GET UOT OF HERE"

SHIT THAT'S AUNT PETUNIA FROOM HARRY POTTER THATS WHY I KNOW HER

at least things happened this episode 5/10

EP 4 spoilers below obvi

-MON MOTHA IN THE THUMBNAIL

-mon mommy sorry mommy?

-Bill has his wn ship... just like in mamma mia

-the parallels are amazing

-"you're bleeding on my floor"

-Med Nog? SAY MOORE RN. is it just more alch??? is it bacta infused? miracle healing Elixar??? I need mor4e information immediately

-Sep??? is the separatist / confederacy of independent systems still kicking for am I missing something?

-"you'll ultimately die fighting these bastards" its sad bc its true

-CORUSCANT MY BELOVED

-nt the imperial security beureua

-"are you being purposely vague?" me at this show

-NOT SCARIF

-kyber crystal????

-Blue kyber??? hmmm

-dont steal the ship Cass

-hmmm why are we lying to the rebellion folk

-tie fighter sound effects my beloved

"close to nothing. But not very far from everything" also could be said about my hometown

-this is a nemik fan account.. for now. Idk he has good vibes

-I wish to be on Corucsant. concrete jungle where dreams are made of. There's nothing you can't do

-MON MOTHA APARMTNE T!!! I WANT TO OGO T THERE

-marriage problems??? fuck this guy

-I can't wait to see the CGI for the celestial event

-who is this blonde girl and why do we care about her

-"can I eat my food?" me too Cass

There's been significant improvement ! ok thats all the new content my brain can handle today good night.

[ryodan]

What's Haikyuu about? I already know it's about volleyball.

Hmm. Okay, i’ll try to explain it.

it’s basically the story of these two guys trying to make their school team be the best in Japan??

The story basically begins with the lead character (and my second favourite character of all time) hinata shouyou on his way to junior high school when he is momentarily taken by a volleyball nationals match between a school called Karasuno and some other irrelevant filler school playing on tv inside a shop’s window..namely, he’s taken by this short player from Karasuno nicknamed ‘the little giant’ who seems to be scoring points despite his obvious height disadvantage. In that moment little shouyou falls in love with volleyball and starts idolizing the little giant, so he asks about the club at school and it turns out no one signed up and everything is really sad and he can’t play volleyball in a team and he is literally the only sad ass member?? he still practices alone though, and asks annoys  his friends to help him occasionally. All of this in hopes that he will once get lucky enough to compete on a court one day..and when the day finally comes, he and his little chibi ass friends (whom he dragged to play with him despite them literally knowing 0 about volleyball) get SMASHED to pieces by the strongest junior high team in the prefecture. Worth mentioning, hinata and his anxious pee habit made him meet this guy nicknamed ‘the king of the court’ (supposedly just because he is an insanely gifted player) next to the bathroom and he ends making this dumb ass promise to literally a genius guy who is backed up by the strongest team while hinata’s best player is a guy who didn’t fuckin know what the position names meant

turns out au volleyball sasuke/haru/depending on what type of anime you like doesn’t like the idea of losing so he FIRES back

you’d think because hinata is a shonen protagonist he’d end up pulling some superhuman miracle and win but lol

in typical #shonenboiishatelosing fashion he makes this promise to angry intense bathroom guy

kageyama tobio aka king of our hearts is just really confused as to why Frodo the hobbit is crying and telling him all of this

but in good sportsmen ship just tells him to get stronger if he wants to stay on court.

After hinata’s heart glass gets shattered he goes back to practice vv hard, montage and everything, in order to beat the king that cut his career short.

Fast forward to high school and hinata joins his dream school karasuno and he is all ‘im going to get so strong im going to have a great team and im gonna gET MY REVEN- WHAT THE FUCK WHY IS HE HERE’

turns out kageyama is actually rlly fuckin school dumb and his shitty grades (and even shittier personality) kept him from going to the strongest high school in their prefecture despite him being a genius at tossin u the ball (something we all can do but he can apparently do it ingeniously????) so he is stuck here bc of his angsty really bossy social skills mess hated by everyone back story

at first they are all at each others throats but slowly by slowly their relationship develops into some borderline romantic comedy power duo (literally nicknamed the freak duo by their opponents) plot (that a lot of people including me otp bc honestly it gets p gay sometimes like wow is this the power of friendship or the power of boyfriends the line is getting blurry)

like uh they literally communicate like this??? but still understand each other

so using the power of friendship boyfriends and hinatas super fly jump they set out to take karasuno to the nationals. Along the way ofc there are other teams and characters we meet, all of which are explored and amazingly developed by the author. You literally cannot hate any of them even when they are the opposing team???

So that is basically hq??? a lot of volley?? a lot of friendship plots? a lot of amazing side characters that the author actually develops and includes constantly. There is also the bonus of the most chill (v active and full of amazing creators!!!!) fandom that is all in for any type of hc’s, ships, faves etc etc. It’s all love and chillness.

This series is like A+. Dynamic writing that never not once got boring or felt cheap? it’s always authentic and manages to increase the tension while remaining personal to the characters and their goals. Only Furudate manages to give a character a MILE of believable development DURING a match. Great series that will make you laugh 24/7, the animation is AMAZING holy actual heck..To animate a SINGLE frame of Hinata’s eye the animators used SIXTY different drawings??? In contrast to SP that animates using 1 to 2 drawings for FULL body frames??? The OST is also A++. you’ll start the series thinking ‘who cares about volleyball???’ and 10 in episodes you’re crying because you’ve adopted 20 fictional children and because ‘humans don’t have wings so they look for ways to fly’.

Fun fact: in the OFFICIAL made by Japanese people 100 best anime of all time list, Haikyuu!! was there!! Even shows like naruto weren’t!! that is how highly regarded it is…it’s vvvv popular?? specially in Japan it is everywhere.

in summary: 2 boys 1 ball

watch haikyuu!! trust me

[torinspeer-blog]

GET TO KNOW ME

1. What’s your first name? Torin 2. What are you listening to right now? 
The ambient noises of my property. OH! SHIT! Uhhh... punk rock Spotify playlist-punk pop's not dead 3. What was the last thing you ate?
Tuna fish sandwich 4. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? 
"Attention: important seniors!" Medicare 5. Do you drink? 
🤤🤤🤤 6. Do you smoke? 
Only to give myself cancer!👍👏👏🙌💯 7. What is the first thing you noticed in someone? 
I think it depends on the individual? I mean I'm an intuition dom and have ADHD so it's not like I notice🤷‍♀️ 8. What is your hair color? 
Very dark brown 9. What is your eye color?
Hazel 10. Do you wear contacts/glasses? 
Reading glasses 11. Dogs or cats? 
dogs no shit you ever seen a kitters run around like a little glob weeaboo? Uhuh I didn't think so hun! 12. What’s your favorite animal? 
ANY ANIMAL THAT CUDDLES ME AND MAKES ME FEEL LESS ALONE!!!!! 13. What’s your favorite television show? 
Parks and rec probably (seen the ending? On the emotional level it's more like parks and rekt am I fucking right guys? YEET!) 14. What’s your favorite movie? 
Farris buellers day off what am I a hipster? 15. What’s your favorite band/singer? 
GREENDAYGREENDAYGREENDAYGREENDAYENFP4W5PIXIEPRIDESON!!!! 16. How old are you? 
19. I'm old enough to know a thing or two. Like, literally. I know one thing and maybe another but no more than that. 17. Do you have a crush on anyone? yes... don't worry. I burry my feelings deep inside my soul just like every other well adjusted adult 18. What’s your sexual orientation? 
I thought I was bi but then a bi guy said hi from behind and that thought ended 19. What’s your favorite color?
blue? Red? Purple? I'm more of a... ummm... shit 20. What was your most embarrassing moment? 
😂😂😂 ok, so there was this one time, I was born, and it got soooooyyyt awkward!!😂😂😳 21. Do you ever wish you were someone else? 
Oh god I have enough extisensial dread as is holy shit take that to someone else 22. What were you like when you were a kid? 
Lazy, stupid, and never gonna accomplish anything with a work ethic like that hahahaHAHAHAHA SOMEBODY TAKE THE PAIN AWAY 23. What would your dream house be like? 
A little house in the prairies where I can sit in the front yard with my wife in a rocking chair and watch my grandchildren play 24. What last made you laugh? 
My last joke, bitch 25. What is your favorite word? 
Romp... hehehe. It makes me think of cute little bunny rabbits hopping along in the woods 26. What is your least favorite word? 
No 27. What turns you on? IF YOU LET ME TALK FOR A WHILE AND GIGGLE AND THINK IM SMART I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER 28. What turns you off? 
ME NOT BEING ONE OF YOUR FAVORITE PEOPLE (holy shit I mean these are jokes but like god do I need therapy? Holy shit). 29. What is your star sign? 
Sometimes, when I'm lost, I like to look for a sign to know whether I'm standing in the light of the word, or its darkness (the joke is that I use the sun as a sign for if it's daytime hartyharhar). 30. What are your favorite books? 
 31. Do you have any siblings? 
two brothers and two sisters 32. Do you like to dance? Depends if you count air guitar and awkward lanky jolting as dancing cuz if yes THEN YA IM THE FUCKING MLG TRICK SHOT KING OF THAT SHIT. 33. What is your definition of cheating? 
Summoning help in dark souls 34. Have you ever cheated on someone? 
Nope 35. Do you regret anything? 
Who the hell doesn't? Regret is a natural and essential piece of the human condition. It's horrible, but it teaches us how to live. 36. Do you have any phobias? Tight spaces high spaces suffocating in spaces (pluralized by virtue of multiverse theory) standing in line waiting to talk getting cut off cutting someone off cutting myself my memes not being fresh enough you know normal people stuff 37. Ever broken any bones? Sadly, no😔 38. Ever come close to death? 
I mean I almost killed myself several time soooo... (guys before you ask I'm ok now don't worry I'm just figuring my shit out😂😂) 39. What is your religion, if any? 
I worship at the holy grail of Cthulhu ahem check your privilege 40. Have you ever been to a psychiatrist/therapist? 
Yes. I had a crush on her. Refer to question #27 41. Are looks important in a relationship? 
They aren't the most important thing but yes I like being sexually attracted to people I'll potentially fuck exclusively for the rest of my life 42. Are you more like your mom or your dad? 
I refuse to identify commonalities 43. What is your favorite season? 
Springs, or fall. I don't pay attention but I live in Arizona so whatever time my balls aren't stuck to my pants🤗 44. Do you have any tattoos? 
No but if I did it would just be "[]" because it's basically "[insert here]" brackets so I could tell people it's for or means or is about anything I want to. 45. Do you have any piercings? 
No. But I have pierced myself IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN😂😂🙌💯 46. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had? 
1? One lasted four days does that count? Cuz then it's 2. God... I need to get laid. OR HAVE AN ADORABLE HUNAM TO CUDDLE AND TALK TO AND DO THE DIRTY WITH AS THE CHERRY ON TOP OF HER CHERRY😂😂😂 oh god I kill myself😂 47. Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character? As MBTI lore would suggest (I'm an enfp btw howdy), my soul belongs to sexy anime babes. 48. Who is your celebrity crush? ... that just made me feel lonely and I don't know why 49. Are you a virgin? 😉 50. Do you get jealous easily? Depends on the situation. I always keep it under wraps though. 51. What is your favorite type of food? 
BUFFALO WINGS!!!! THOSE BETTER EXIST IN THE HEAVEN I DONT BELIEVE IN 52. Do you ever want to get married? 
Hell ya my dude! 53. Who was your first kiss with? 
My first girlfriend. 54. Have you ever been cheated on? 
... 55. What is your idea of the perfect date? 
No idea. Just as long as we connect really well and I have the sense of finding someone who actually makes sense as a person and does that in a way complimentary to who I am. Talk about life I guess. NO HOLY SHIT TALK ABOUT LIFE FUCK YES!!!! 56. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? 
Introverted extrovert😉😉😉 57. Do you believe in aliens or life on other planets? 
I doubt it but I believe in a neighboring universe where Hitler doesn't have a mustache soooo.... 58. What talent do you wish you’d been born with? 
Self esteem 59. What is your saddest memory? 
Hahahaha... no 60. Do you believe in love at first sight? 
no but I do believe in getting your jimmies rustled on first sight😉 61. Do you believe in soul mates? 
I'm a nihilist. I believe in finding someone who fits you well enough that the tear in your soul is mostly ignorable, but not anyone who's made for you 62. Have you ever dyed your hair? 
No 63. Has someone ever spread a nasty rumor about you? 
So one of the definitions for my name in urban dictionary is "Torin: likes to masturbate with the slimy sea creatures of the sea to get that real pussy feel. Synonymous with 'squids'."... apparently that escalated from fiction to fact very quickly. 64. Would you go against your moral code for money? 
It depends. Ends justify the means. For example: I would stomp several puppies to death in an absolutely brutal fashion in order to save the lives of millions of children starving to death in Africa. 65. What are three things most people don’t know about you? 
I've struggled with depression since 8th grade. I'm fairly certain their are missing pieces of my personality, which would explain why there's a different version of me for every person and why I forget who I am after just like 2 days of being alone. I don't cry a lot but it's not for healthy reasons. 66. Who are you jealous of?
Basically everyone 67. Do you sleep with a stuffed toy? 
NO BUT NOW I WANT TO I JUST GOT ALL WARM AND FUZZY FEELING 68. How long was your longest relationship? 
About six months 69. Is the glass half empty or half full? 
It's in the eye of the beholder. It doesn't really matter which one it is though, it only matters what you do with what's left. 70. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you? 
😳 I'll wait to tell you until the third date😉 71. Who are your closest friends?
Currently a college friend who's out of state. I tend not to stay particularly close to people for too long tho... ok well shit now I'm sad 72. Are you in a relationship? 
Nope 73. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her? 
I don't even have a joke wow fuck I'm lonely 74. Are you a bad person? 
STOP MAKING ME THINK ABOUT THIS SHIT IF I DO AND I DECIDE IM NOT I WILL SLIP INTO A SEVERE DEPRESSION that sounded funny in my head holy shit no it was not 75. Are you a lover or a fighter? 
I fight for love💁 76. What did you do on your last birthday? 
Some stuff my mother wouldn't be proud of 77. What is your favorite quote and why? 
“Quitting smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I've done it a thousand times." -Mark Twain. It illustrates some things I'm not in the mindset to process 78. If your best friend died, what would you do? 
NUUUUUUUUUU FUCKIN STAAAAHHHHHPPP I WILL CRY 5EVR 79. If you had to go back in time and change one thing, what would it be? 
Beat my bitch ass (holy shit I need to process stuff stop asking me these questions I thought I had a healthy-ish self esteem but clearly not #sendhalp) 80. If you only had 24 hours to live, what would you do? 
I have ADHD, so probably process everything at once and feel to panicked to do anything. That or the stimulation would be enough that I'd do everything and anything I wanted with no inhibitions. 81. What is the strangest dream you’ve ever had? 
One time I sucked on this hot chicks nipples and not only did it taste nasty but the nipple grew and stabbed my fucking throat OMG I DEEPTHROATED A NIPPLE THAT JUST CLICKED WTF 82. Are you happier single or in a relationship? 
In a relationship, if it's with the right person. 83. Who were you in a past life? 
Mark Twain Bitch! 84. What is your happiest childhood memory? 
I have no idea. None of them exist in a vacuum. They only matter in context of everything else. 85. Have you ever experienced unrequited love? 
The majority of my life since my first boner yes. 86. Have you ever had an imaginary friend? 
Oh I had like fucking 10 but they were all tv show characters except for one and I didn't like him that much. 87. If you were the president, what would you do? 
I would gather as much information as possible about the most important matters and work down from there. 88. What is your ideal career? 
Rn, comedian 89. What is your political affiliation? INDEPENDENT BITCH! 90. Are you conservative or liberal? 
I'm left leaning. I identify more with liberal values but both are important in order to balance eachother out (that's why our political atmosphere is so volatile. Used to be we'd have a democrat then a republican and they'd switch every year, but congress would have the opposite orientation as the president. Now we have a switching one party system every year.) 91. Is the male or female body closest to perfection? 
FUCKING WOMEN ARE YOU KIDDING ME WOMEN ARE HOURGLASSES MEN ARE LIKE UPSIDE DOWN TRIANGLES WITH LEGS AND A LITTLE DONGLE HOW IS THIS A QUESTION??!?!! 92. Do you like kissing in public? 
No. I'm constantly aware of everything going on around me so I need some privacy. 93. If you could change one thing in the world, what would you change? 
humans can choose super powers (I'm keeping this one from the last guy's answers fucking savage dude) 94. Where would you like to live? 
NEW YORK CITY 95. Where would you go on your dream vacation? 
NEW YORK CITY EXCEPT I STAY THERE 96. Describe yourself in one word. 
eclectic 97. Describe yourself in one sentence. 
LISTEN TO GREENDAY "walking contradiction" AND ANY SIMILAR SONG!!

[desiror]

My Letter To You

From day one you caught my eye You made me crazy but i never tried Cuz my homie was talkin shit constantly So i rejected you unconsciously And kept my feelings to myself Till i find the strength to tell you how i felt By the end of sec 5 Ive dated a couple girls, and you a couple guys But none of them are even comparable To these feelings that are unbearable Fuck it, im gonna tell you i got too Im about to, till my bestfriend calls dibs on you... First semester and were closer than ever Were both dating others, but were always together You're in love with this guy, guess i gotta stay as a friend I put my emotions aside, till your relationship ends That was the plan, till you say you had feelings for me before What the fuck man, now i just love you even more... Im still with her, and you're still with him I have no other choice but to keep my emotions hidden It was all workin till one day Your boyfriend moved far away I figured i couldnt miss another opportunity To make this finally just you n me For the first time, we chilled outside of college At this point, my feelings for her have abolished It all happened when we went clubbing Holding your hand, our bodies touching Sparked the feeling ive always been searching for The one that confirmed my heart is yours One day we got high, and you came over You were having a bad vibe, so i gave you my shoulder Suddenly my heart start ed to beat Faster than when you pop ecstacy We started gettin touchy, then things got out of hands No time to think, our hands are down eachothers pants Felt so overjoyed when i woke up I felt happier then when i smoke up Cant stop smiling, im so in love It felt like a dream, for sure it was You even said that you love me, it cant get better We talked about us in the future, being together No regrets, but it does feel wrong Ive been waiting for this so long Now theres no way i can stay with her I put it to an end, didnt expect it to feel so bitter I feel heart broken, this is so hard But the thought of our future, fixes my heart No interest in other girls, im just waitin You're my first priority, i aint playin Imma help you through it, no problem You asked about my feelings for her, how i stopped em I didnt say, but girl you're the answer I thought of how happy ill be with you after I know we said we'd both take our time But baby you're always on my mind Whats also on my mind is the fact That you're the one fighting for his stupid ass Yet you keep telling me how much you hate him Then why dont you drop him? Stop debatin Damn, it felt like years but its finally ova You gonna be so much happier baby imma show ya The only thing right now in my head Is to make you the happiest girl, till the day im dead But theres only one thing that i ask Please baby, dont go back to your past.. i held you tight in my arms and felt you cry I said to you alright just forget this guy You answered no, i cry because im scared to lose you Im so lost tho, howd this even come up to you? You just broke up and thats what you have to say I cant let you use me to get over him this way Exams are keeping me busy, i cant be there all the time You're going through a lot you gotta keep yourself occupied But the way you resorted to is worse Partying and doing drugs till you're out of this universe But as long as i know you're gonna be there for me When summer comes, "this"ll all just be in your memory We havent spoken to eachother in a long time Just sittin here, waiting for you to become mine I hear about you through a friend of ours So what you do now is tinder and get nailed for hours?! I been shaking all day but thats not even why I feel like everything you ever said to me was just a big lie I thought i was addicted to smoking cigs Until i realized what a real addiction is Just the thought of you gives me the worst shakes Quitting got me trembling, but you give me earthquakes The smoke stops the flow of my blood when i grow old But you just froze my blood and made it go cold Right now i cant feel nothing else but hatred I thought we had something but i guess you faked it You were scared to lose me as a friend But in the end you lost all of me cuz now im dead i cant belive you went back to the person you were I knew it was gonna happen, i shouldve backed out sooner You lied to me, and fucked me over bad But for real, thats not what got me this mad Im angry at the fact you didnt say nothing I guess while i was waiting you thought i was gone or something Cuz you didnt even say we werent gonna happen You left me to wait, while you were with other guys laughin I havent yet told you whats on my mind We havent been alone in a long ass time You act like nothing ever happened and it kills me So much hatred inside, seeing you just fills me But i cant stop myself from seeing you Losing you would be worse than us being through Alright so were gonna act like nothing happened But dont expect me to be often laughin And dont you fuckin dare say that it meant nothing "Not like i had feelings for him we were just fucking" Bitch ill fuckin kill you why you doin this shit Stop lying, everything that comes out of you is fiction I expected you to fall before we be together But then i thought youd rise and be with me forever But thats where i fucked up thinking this through Cuz instead of only "this" in your memory, you put me too I dont want to believe that im just some other guy But i am, once again i fell for another lie Were going out for a birthday, i got a lot of shit to say I havent seen you in days, but i wont say it today Cuz i need to speak to you once were alone So lets just enjoy this night like we did a long time ago Im looking for other girls but you're the only one i see While you're with other guys, grinding behind me Grinding was fine but now you're hookin up I keep drinking but i dont think i took enough All i see is you constantly kissing him I just wish it was me i guess im missing it And to worsen it you bring him with us all night Being all cligny next to me, how can you think this is alright? Every once in a while i get a message from you "I miss you homie", but you never come through If i say it back ill be the only one to mean it And that i know for a fact so i wont repeat it Im trying to scar but you keep coming back to press On this wound that you inflicted as you left For some reason i was still hopin youd become mine But now you have a boyfriend im fully done tryin You said you didnt wanna start over with a new guy "I want someone im close to" bitch you lied Dating a dude you just met i dont understand Am i not exactly what you want according to wut ur sayin Its like you enjoy putting yourself in misery Ill never understand i guess itll stay a mystery You left me once again for a random dude Im done thinking of this im changing my attitude Im done suffering bitch finally this pain's over Im done waiting bitch now its game over -Anonymous

[thechumbucketlist]

tag game dump!

k i’ve been tagged in a couple of tag games and well, here they are.

tagged by @bloodredruby!

a / age -  22 b / biggest fear - i’ve been diagnosed with cleithrophobia as a child after we got locked inside our classroom when the doorknobs broke so yeah c / current time -  7:08 PM d / drink you had last - water e / everyday starts with -  alarms and acid reflux f / favorite song - boi this changes like every two weeks g / ghosts are real? - maybe?? yes??? h / hometown - lmao i’m not saying bc im kinda paranoid but i’m in manila! not gonna tell which part of manila tho. i / in love with - the idea of being financially stable hollaaaaaa ayyyyyyyy j / jealous of - people with jobs jfc i just wanna work and earn money hfausfhsafj k / killed someone - no l / last time you cried - a week ago i think? m / middle name - sorry wont tell n / number of siblings - two brothers! i’m the middle kid. o / one wish - JOB JOB JOB p / person you last called/texted - mom (’m single af) q / questions you’re always asked - "DO YOU HAVE A JOB”, “ARE YOU APPLYING FOR A JOB”, “IS ANYONE COURTING YOU?”, “DO YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND” and the answers are no, yes, no, and no. r / reasons to smile - idk man the possibility of getting a job???? s / song last sang -  HELP BEAT ENERGY ENERGY GAP BEAT ENERGY GAP DRINK MILO EVERYDAY t / time you woke up - 8:40AM v / vacation destination- Australia, New Zealand, every single Southeast Asian nation, Japan, Greece, Italy, Germany, Brazil, Mexico, Hawaii, Puerto Rico x / xrays you have had -  idk??? way too many y / your favorite food -  oh fuCK DONT ASK ME THERE ARE WAY TOO MANY z / zodiac sign - leo

-

Name: Victoria

Height: 5′ 5″

Hogwarts house: Hufflepuff

Go to SSBB Character: i don’t play :( would love to but i don’t have consoles

Fictional Character I’d Date: lmao u of all people probably already kno who i’m gonna write down here anyway

Favorite Band/Artist: Fall Out Boy, The Black Keys, One Direction (yes i’m serious, they’re awesome and i love their songs and they make me happy)

When did I make this blog: April 1, 2012

How many blogs do I follow: ahh man i’m too lazy to check

Do I get asks on a regular basis: no and idk if this is a good thing or a bad thing

Aesthetic: memes, irony, military, weeb shit

-

and @frankendag tagged me on this one! thank you!!

gender and sexual orientation: female ; grey-ace (i’m still not sure about this but yeah i kinda feel it???)

star sign: leo

height: 5′5″

hogwarts house: hufflepuff

favourite colour: red, mint

favourite animal: i can’t choose just one ya kno :(

average hours of sleep: ah man idk probably six???

favourite fictional character: bros... omg bros that are reading this okay okay i know that you know it’s iwaizumi hajime but like... he makes me so happy ya kno??? i want a friend like him so badly. i want his friendship with oikawa so fucking badly ya dont even kno and yeah he’s my ultimate comfort character

number of blankets i sleep with: one

favourite singer/band: Fall Out Boy, The Black Keys, One Direction, Johnoy Danao (*heart eyes* his voice is so jduashfuiashufas), Bugoy Drilon

dream trip: somewhere i can literally chill like. space. nothing goes wrong in space. and if i die// well…………………………….. alright but in all seriousness id like to see turkey and visit a tattoo artist there to get my dream tattoos

dream job: mbro i really really just wanna be an illustrator. i want to be an animator too but, like, not as much as i want to be an illustrator.

when was this blog created: April 1, 2012

current number of followers: 500 smth with like a hundred bots and inactives probably lol

what made you decide to make a tumblr: BOI THE PACIFIC ABSOLUTELY WRECKED ME BACK IN 2010 SO I WATCHED IT AGAIN IN 2011 AND DECIDED TO WATCH BAND OF BROTHERS AS WELL AND I GOT SO OBSESSED WITH THEM AND FOUND THE HBO WAR COMMUNITY ON TUMBLR AND I LEARNED ABOUT GENERATION KILL AND, LIKE, I JUST THOUGHT BITCH I GOTTA JOIN THIS I GOTTA JOIN THIS N O W AND HERE I AM SORRY FOR ALL CAPS I WANTED TO ADD EMPHASIS

and that’s it!!! thank you for tagging me!! :D