#im gonna finish at least the colored one once I’m not sad and tired and actually doingart again sdfg

[sivsii]

these obv aren’t finished but I wanted to post them bc I love and cherish and miss them very much

[not-reagan]

milf: man i love forests

pairing: deforester boo seungkwan x frat boy mirror demon han jisung (side pairing reagan x rainbow)

genre: crack, strangers to friends to lovers, non-idol au

warnings: cursing, brief supernatural elements, i don’t know if this applies but all lcase, and i listened to christmas music and abba while writing this

word count: 2.7k

authors note: happy birthday @miyuuraiura !! i am so sorry about this monstrosity being your birthday gift but you asked for it so it's your fault entirely. i was gonna include some context on this story for those who are not rainbow and i but actually i don't think i will.

seungkwan did what he could to get by. he loved nature, he really did, but sometimes you have to make moral sacrifices to survive. he was a college kid strapped for cash, and when he saw a sign reading “GET RICH QUICK, INVEST IN DEFORESTATION” in the summer going into his freshmen year, he jumped at the opportunity. sure, he would have rather been a freelance singer, hired for bar-mitzvahs and children's parties, but that job market was flooded at the moment.

jisung, on the other hand, had no care for nature. actually, he didn't care for any human things, apart from “banging parties, booze, the boys™, and bitches”. he hated quite a bit about earth, the worst of all to him being college. as a demon, he had no reason to attend university, but after he was summoned in the bathroom of a frat house by the school’s power couple; rainbow and reagan, he felt obliged to follow the two around and keep them company.

for seungkwan, his main job rarely required in person work. he usually just chose plots of land to demolish, and sent plans to local managers. the only time he actually had to knock down any trees himself was during his summer break. he has a part time job of course, but it didn't provide him enough cash to survive. for someone with a job as a deforester, he truly did do what he could to save the environment. he joined his schools environmental club, becoming vice president his sophomore year because of his work with them. he kept his job a secret, not even telling his parents where the influx of cash was coming from. he kept a low profile and went through the motions of life. he didn't have much of a social life, with his small amount of friends being from the environmental club.

han jisung found joy in witnessing his professors and fellow students lose their minds over his lack of effort in class. he did the bare minimum and still passed with flying colors. most of all, it angered his seatmate in earth science, who happened to be none other than boo seungkwan. seungkwan was a hard worker in everything he did, particularly in school. he didn't get the best grades, but by no means was he the worst. averaging a steady B+, seungkwan spent most of his nights studying or working, rarely going to parties and enjoying himself only through one person karaoke rooms.

this fact upset jisung. he didn't know why, but seeing seungkwan so tired every day made him feel sad(? jisung wasn't sure what it made him feel. it was an emotion he had never experienced before. rainbow told him it meant he had a crush. to this he threw an empty soda can at them). not to mention seungkwan’s upsetting karaoke addiction, which he knew all about the danger of because of reagan, who spent most of her weekends drunk and singing. jisung didn’t know why he took such a liking to seungkwan. what he did know was that he was ecstatic to find that they would be paired together for a project. a project that required quite a bit of teamwork, and a lot of after school work sessions.

seungkwan liked to think that he didn’t hate anyone. he hated evil people, like hitler and stalin and jyp, but he didn’t really hate anyone besides the worst of the worst. that was until he experienced jisung. he wasn’t sure why jisung always talked to him when he was trying to take notes in class. he especially wasn’t sure why he was so excited to be partnered up together for the project that was worth 25% of their grade. seungkwan was less than happy to have to cooperate with jisung for an extended period of time, and he was not looking forward to letting him into his dorm room, or going anywhere near jisung’s frat house. seungkwan had no idea what he was pushed into.

they planned to meet at the cafe on campus at 5:00 pm after class. seungkwan was less than happy. jisung was thrilled. when jisung arrived seungkwan was sitting at a table drinking an americano and working on an english essay. he wasn't sure how to approach him, slowly walked closer before tapping on his shoulder. seungkwan jolted in his seat.

“jesus fuck jisung. you scared the crap out of me,” seungkwan gasped. jisung’s ears flushed as he brought his hand to the back if his neck.

“sorry,” he started, pausing for a second before starting again, “why don't we get started?”. he swung his bag down to the ground as he took a seat. seungkwan offered a small, non genuine smile before pulling out the project’s guidelines.

“let's try to finish this as quickly as possible. im pretty busy and don't have much time to fool around.” seungkwan said. jisung felt his heart drop. did seungkwan really think that little of him? granted, he always dozed off in class but he got his work done on time and in an orderly fashion. he felt his mind begin to wander. if seungkwan felt this way about him now, how would he feel when he found out that jisung was a demon. would seungkwan start to like him if he knew him better? jisung couldn't figure out why he cared so much about how seungkwan perceived him. he had never had an issue with others opinions of him before, so what made seungkwan so different? for some reason, jisung felt the need to connect with seungkwan. if not for himself, then at least to help him let loose.

after working silently on each of their portions of the projects for 3 hours, jisung finally spoke up. “do you want to maybe come to my party next month? well, it's not my party, it's for rainbow’s birthday. i know you're not one for social interaction but it would be cool to see you there. i’ll give you the details if-”

“i’d love to go,” seungkwan cut off jisung’s rambling. to be honest, he wasn't exactly sure what he was agreeing to, but he knew it would shut jisung up, and seungkwan valued his peace and quiet. part of him also just felt downright bad for the other. he seemed to be trying awfully hard to become friends with seungkwan, and he wouldn’t admit it, seungkwan had started to warm up to the boy. he really wasn’t as much of an issue as he had thought before, and was actually really respectful of seungkwan’s wishes. maybe i’ll give him a chance, seungkwan thought before going back to his work.

over the next month, jisung and seungkwan continued meeting to work on their project. seungkwan was less short with the other, and jisung was still red faced every time seungkwan decided to talk to him, which became quite frequently over the next few weeks. jisung was starting to realize that the feelings he had for seungkwan were not simply platonic, and that he didn’t just want to be friends with him. with the help of rainbow and reagan, he had come to the conclusion that he really, really liked seungkwan, and that he was going to do something about it. remembering that he had invited seungkwan to the party, he devised a plan to not only tell seungkwan about his whole “i’m actually a demon” thing, but also about his true feelings. it wouldn't be easy, but it was what he had to do.

a month later, seungkwan still wasn’t exactly sure why he had agreed to go to jisungs frat house at 9:00 pm on a saturday night. yet there he was, standing on the front porch of a large house, wondering if he should bite the bullet and walk in, or spare himself and leave right then. he didn't get a choice, however, as rainbow and reagan stepped out of the house giggling while clutching onto each other. both stopped in their tracks when they saw seungkwan. the couple and seungkwan stared at each other for a good minute before seungkwan shook himself from his trance.

“hey rainbow!” seungkwan started, “and reagan too. i know we aren’t super close, but jisung invited me and i thought i’d just drop by and wish you a happy birthday.” he passed her a birthday card filled with $50 bucks and then turned to leave. “i’ll leave you guys now. have a great birthday!” before seungkwan could get very far, however, rainbow grabbed him by the arm.

“hey, i’d love if you’d stay! at least go say hi to jisung. i’m sure he’d like to see you,” she said, silently making note to have jisung pay her back for being a great wingwoman.

“he’s probably hiding in the second floor bathroom. if you don't see him in there, just say his name three times in front of the mirror. he’ll appear.” reagan explained. seungkwan thought she was joking. how wrong he was.

following his entrance to the house, he had to refuse not one, not two, but three different people who were looking to give him bottles or cups of something which seungkwan presumed to be various types of alcohol. navigating through the house was difficult, reaching the stairs to the second floor only after running into numerous people borderline fucking on two large couches in the living room, a smoke circle taking place in what seungkwan assumed to be a dining room, and a very aggressive makeout session against a wall. once he finally reached the second floor, he had some difficulty finding the bathroom, accidentally walking in on reagan and rainbow, who had miraculously made it upstairs faster than he had.

“if you don’t stop shitting constantly i am going to break up with you! also, stop taking feet pics! it’s weird!” he heard rainbow shout.

“at least i can eat seafood! how does it make your head hurt? you’re the weakest link! that fucking seafood platter was delicious. and you know what, i’m glad i didn’t have to share it with you!” reagan responded. seungkwan quickly shut the door, not wanting to get involved in whatever drunken argument was going on there. after a bit more searching, he finally stumbled across the right room. knocking first to see if anyone was in there, he entered, and to his surprise, nobody was there. jisung was nowhere to be seen. seungkwan reviewed his options. he could a) leave the party, or b) continue to look around the packed house. but there was another option. he thought about it for a second.

“what's the harm in trying,” seungkwan thought out loud, before staring directly into the mirror.

“han jisung, han jisung, han jisung.”

nothing happened. that's what seungkwan thought, until a minute later the lights in the bathroom flickered off and the mirror began to glow. “what. the. fuck,” seungkwan managed to squeak out before falling backwards into the tub. first a leg emerged, then two arms, and finally the rest of jisung’s body.

“i feel like the genie in aladin every time i have to get into a fucking mirror,” jisung complained before seeing seungkwan toppled over. to that view, he jumped down off the counter and moved to help him up. seungkwan, aside from falling, seemed to be reacting well to the whole situation, at least in the sense that instead of freaking out he seemed to be in a state of shock. jisung took this as a good sign, and lifted the motionless body up onto the toilet seat.

“hey seungkwan, you there?” jisung waved his hand in front of seungkwan's face as he slowly came to his senses.

“what kind of twisted party trick was that?” seungkwan asked, pretty seriously. jisung just laughed.

“you summoned me from the mirror. i’m like a funny version of michael jackson except i'm a demon and not a man in the mirror.” jisung explained. seungkwan just stared. “are you ok kwan? do you want me to get you some water?”

“it was… kind of sick.” seungkwan stated. he didn't know why he wasn't scared. under any other circumstance like this one, he probably would have shit his pants. for some reason he felt comfortable around jisung. he felt warm. he felt seen. it was something he hadn't felt before. that's when he realized. he wondered why it took himself to long to figure it out. he never hated jisung. he just didn't know what to do with the fact that he made him feel special, and that he felt as though he belonged when they were together. it had hit him why he was so nervous the whole night, why he had wanted to make such a good impression, and why he was willing to embarrass himself by calling out jisungs name as opposed to just choosing to go home. it was because he loved him.

“can i tell you something?” both of the boys said at the same time. jisung giggled and seungkwan flushed red. **authors note! bonus starts here**

“you first,” seungkwan offered. he wasn't exactly sure he would be able to make it through a sentence without getting any redder than he already was.

jisung took this opportunity to finally get his true feelings out into the air, “i like you… uhh like, i like like you. i have since we first became seatmates. well, i think that's when i've liked you since. i knew whe-”

“you're rambling again,” seungkwan told him. jisung flushed a dark shade of pink. “it's a habit of yours. i think it's cute actually.” seungkwan wasn't sure where his sudden surge of confidence came from, but he was glad it came. he was standing up now, holding jisungs hands in his. jisungs heart was racing a mile a minute as he looked down at their intertwined hands and them back up, catching seungkwan looking directly at his lips. “can… can i kiss you?” seungkwan stuttered out. jisung couldn't find his words, so he opted to just nod.

when their lips connected, seungkwan could have sworn he heard fireworks. he did later find out that someone was setting off a firework in the back yard, but it was the thought that counted. their lips melted together perfectly, and seungkwan wondered why it took him so long to admit his feelings to himself. he could have been kissing jisung for a month before this.

once they finally parted, seungkwan spoke softly, “i like you too. i think that's pretty obvious now but just in case you didn't know.” jisung had the dumbest, most confused face on, and seungkwan had the brightest smile he'd ever had. seungkwan had rendered jisung speechless, for once in his life. not long after, they started kissing again, content with their emotions and their new relationship.

seungkwan was never one to believe that good things were permanent. he was overdramatic, stubborn, and hated interacting with people outside his small social circle. that was until han jisung came along. he was starting to think that maybe, just maybe, he could let someone else into his life.

jisung was a simple man. well, not a man, but he was simple nonetheless. he liked banging parties, booze, the boys™, and bitches. well maybe there was one more thing he liked. he knew for sure he liked boo seungkwan. maybe he loved him. maybe seungkwan even felt the same way.

-fin

**BONUS**

reagan and rainbow leaned up against the door to eavesdrop on their matchmaking work.

“holy shit!” reagan gasped.

“what is it?? tell me what happened. you're hogging up the door!” rainbow hissed.

“our boy is so grown up,” reagan pretended to cry. “put your goddamn ear up here.” rainbow felt her ear connect with the cold door just as jisung confessed his feelings.

“i like you… uhh like, i like like you. i have since we first became seatmates. well, i think that's when i've liked you since. i knew whe-” his next words were cut off on the girls side of the door as reagan squealed.

“shut your mouth! seungkwans saying something!!” rainbow said, obviously annoyed that reagan was obstructing her ability to hear the exchange.

“can… can i kiss you?” they heard seungkwan say. both looked at each other in shock.

“oh. my. god.” was all rainbow could say.

“i think we should give them some alone time,” reagan suggested as she tugged rainbow down the hall.

“i think we need some alone time for ourselves,” rainbow said as reagan pushed her into a random room and locked the door behind them.

[you-did-well-moon]

The Warmth Provided (3)

Type: Fluff, Angst, Crack, College Au, Friends to lovers Au

A/N: Aaand the third and final part is here yayyyy. Did you guys enjoy this mini series?? I really hope you did. Small disclaimer, not all requests I receive will be as big as this! It’s not a real fic if Jackson isn’t in it (i’m kidding) but dang Sungjin really went for it. As my friend Bun said, someone bring a mop bc we need to clean up the mess Sungjin made. Don’t be afraid to talk to me!!

TW: Awkward situations, cussing, toxicity and unrealistic depiction of Sungjin

Part 1| Part 2| Part 3

You got to sleep in since it was a Saturday, and you had no classes on Saturdays. You woke up a little past noon feeling as energized as you had in a while. For the first time in a long time, you didn’t feel tired even upon just having woken up. There was no soreness or exhaustion plaguing you. Just placidity in the wake of starting the day and anticipation for what the day bought you.

With the weekend, you finally had time to actually make yourself breakfast instead of eating cereal or nothing at all. You cooked yourself something simple with  eggs, bacon, and a pancake since you very well deserved it. You hummed happily to yourself having turned on the Tv for some background noise which paired with the sizzling of the pan on the stove and the sun’s light filtered through the curtains in front of the window. 

You ate your breakfast calmly scrolling through the social media apps on your phone not at all in a hurry since the party didn’t start until 8. Even if you didn’t feel as tired as you did other days, it still felt good to stay at home comfortable and wrapped up in your favorite blankets catching up on your favorite show. You weren’t running all around campus and town trying to balance your school and personal life. 

You eventually got in the shower staying under the warm water for longer than you had to enjoying it as the tension left your body relaxing when the drops of water traveled down the slopes of your body. 

You couldn’t stop yourself from thinking about what you would say to Sungjin once you got there. Demand for him to tell you why he was acting so weird? Ease into it? Guilt him into it? You groaned squeezing the shampoo out of your hair and reaching for a towel. Having Jae there would probably distract you. No matter what, you had to avoid Jae as much as you could.

Even if he was the one that invited you, you needed to fix whatever was burdening your friendship with Sungjin. You could deal with your lovesick self later. When your brother wasn’t acting like such a stranger. An annoying stranger at that. 

You stayed in your towel drying yourself off and rubbing lotion on your body. You cleaned your face letting your cleanser dry off before beginning to apply your makeup on. You went for a very light look. You were never one for heavy makeup. You did get a little creative with the eyeshadow, but you didn’t want to mess with the rest of your face afraid of smudging something. 

You didn’t really do anything special to your hair. Letting the soft strands down and making it look nice enough for a party. You started getting ready a bit early since you knew you’d get stuck when it came to picking an outfit. Standing there with your closet door open in a towel with your hair and makeup done, you bit your lip cursing yourself for not going shopping earlier in the month. 

Eventually you picked some leather high waisted leather shorts, a very short crop top you would never go near your father or mother with, and fishnets with black combat boots to finish the look. Looking outside your window at the trees slightly swaying you knew you’d get cold. Looking around your room you saw Jae’s jean jacket hanging off your chair. 

You stared at it for what felt like an eternity hesitation pooling in your stomach, but you eventually aggressively shrugged it on, figuring you could give it back to Jae and stick it out if you got too cold. Checking the time, and you realized you had half an hour before the party started.

Shrugging your shoulders you dug through your jewelry for what might go with your look not really caring if you got there on time. You couldn’t shake off the fantasy that maybe, just maybe Jae  was waiting for you. You smacked your forehead. Today you had to focus on Sungjin before things were damaged to an extent that you could not fix. 

You treasured your best friend too much to let things go that far. The JYP frat wasn’t that far from your apartment. It was around a twelve minute walk. Making sure you had pepper spray in your purse you set right off feeling your phone buzz in your pocket just as you locked your door. 

Bawk Bawk: You didn’t get kidnapped did you?

You: we’re gonna need at least 50k to give her back

Bawk Bawk: Haha very funny

Bawk Bawk: the real y/n would say shes worth 100 chicken nuggets

You : lol you got me there 

You: im already on my way. I need to pay attention to where im walking or else im gonna end up on the opposite side of campus in the sm frat

Bawk Bawk: oh no what a tragedy. Ill miss you asking me where the food is every five seconds. Really how sad.

You: wow Baekhyun wouldn’t treat me like this.

You didn’t get to see his answer instead opening up another contact.

You: Hey Sung, im on my way to the party

Bob: ok

You stared at the little text bubble a little hurt at the indifference, but you had to remind yourself that it was just a text message. Maybe he was busy helping out with the party, even if he really didn’t like the parties, he still helped out. He was just that kind of person. 

A small part of you knew that wasn’t the reason.The party had started around 30 minutes ago which meant they were past the point of setting up for the event. You were about to turn off the device when the sound of a notification broke through the silence surrounding you. 

You felt the weight on your heart slight ease up, a relieved but bittersweet smile breaking on the slope of your mouth. 

Bob: Be careful

Even if he was irked with you for whatever reason, he still worried for you. The short text message gave you hope. It was silly, but the two words were enough to bring a little bounce in your step, deciding that as soon as you got to that party you would seek him out, and you would do whatever you could to get to the bottom of what had put distance between you and your best friend. 

You halted your stride finally standing in front of the JYP frat building. You took a deep breath shaking off the nerves and tugging the jacket tighter around you. You went up the steps knees slightly shaking. Sungjin’s message did bring some ease, but the guy could be stubborn when he wanted to. You just hoped he wasn’t stubborn when it came to your friendship. Pursing your lips you shakily pressed the button to the doorbell.

It didn’t take much for the door to swing open startling you and almost making you fall back. A hand reached out to steady you, and you looked up meeting Wonpil’s warm eyes. You smiled easily consoled by his sweet smile missing the mischievous twinkle in his eyes. 

“Wonpil hi, how are you?” He softly laughed, shaking his head.

“I’m pretty sure i’m not supposed to hear colors, but i’ll get through it”

You opened your mouth cackling in disbelief as his hands probed you inside. 

“Have fun, break something and you’ll pay for it and- Jackson! What did I tell you about hanging from the ceiling lights what kind of budget do you think we have man,'' you watched the small man’s frame ambling away and squinted your eyes in amusement, smiling softly. You turned to the rest of the room craning your head to look past all the swaying bodies and flashing lights for the awkward introverted man that was one of your closest friends.

Instead you caught sight of the tall fluffy haired man with glasses sliding down the bend of his narrow nose. You squeaked quickly ducking behind the frame of a stranger as Jae’s head whipped in your direction. You clenched your jaw at the almost slip up. You frowned. You wanted nothing more than to bound up to Jae and see his eyes light up at the sight of you, but you were on a mission. 

You made sure you were out of Jae’s sight as you wracked your brain for where Sungjin might be. He wouldn’t be in where the crowd was bigger and packed. That immediately eliminated the living room, gaming room, and kitchen. That left outside in the patio, the restroom, or his own room. You bit your lip figuring you might as well check outside then head upstairs where both the restroom and his room were. You knew because of the many movie nights you had with Dowoon and Sungjin. 

The many nights of fighting with Sungjin and him scolding you for getting crumbs on his bed only to whine when you moved to Dowoon’s bed. At the end, you always ended up on the floor in a tangled mess probably getting woken up by Dowoon snoring. You set your shoulders making your way to the kitchen since that’s where the doors to get outside were located mumbling apologies to people you bumped into.

You kept your head low mumbling under your breath about how stupid this was that you even had to do this, because for some reason, Sungjin was acting odd and detached. You entered the kitchen eyes raking over everyone's faces just in case Sungjin was there. You didn’t see him, but you saw the other part from your trio. Dowoon was talking to Bang Chan with a relaxed smile on his face and a drink in his hands.

Maybe he knew where Sungjin was saving you the trouble of looking for him. You started walking in his direction, “Hey Woon,  I wish I could stay and talk, but do you know where Sungjin is?” Dowoon narrowed his eyes at you, as you smiled in greeting at Chan. 

“Not even a hi wow, i thought you were better than this. I thought we had a special bond” he clicked his tongue acting annoyed but still reaching out to you pulling you into him for a side hug. You huffed poking harshly at his side, snickering when he whined and recoiled. 

“Fine you brat, he just went upstairs to get something from his room. Here, I'll come with you. I need to go to the restroom anyways. Sorry to cut this short, but i have to make sure she doesn’t do anything stupid” he put his drink on the kitchen island, and you and Chan looked at each other shaking your heads both knowing who was making sure who didn’t do something stupid. You shrugged your shoulders wincing as Chan’s shoulders shook slightly with laughter. 

You swiveled around to follow Dowoon who had already begun walking towards the stairs near the entrance of the kitchen when you abruptly came to a stop. Heading down the steps was the exact person you were looking for. Even in the shifting lighting you recognized him.

You called your best friend’s name already striding towards him and reaching out towards his frozen frame. He looked shocked to see you, his eyes troubled and eyebrows pulled together looking distressed. His body shifted back as if he was contemplating running back up the stairs.

Your hand managed to grasp the end of his shirt. “Sungjin-” you were interrupted by a wobbly yell from the living room. “Seven minutes in heaven time ladies and gents. Don’t be shy, half of you won’t even remember this ever happened,” the awfully cheerful voice that sounded suspiciously like Younghyun  somehow managed to be louder than the talking and blaring music.

You turned back to Sungjin but both of you were suddenly being pulled to the living room by Dowoon who simply said “This should be funny. Let’s go watch” you tried resisting and talking to Sungjin but he was also too busy trying to fight Dowoon’s hold on him. 

You were sat down on one side of the circle in between Dowoon and Sungjin. It all happened so fast you looked at Sungjin and tried getting his attention but was stopped by someone looking at you from the corner of your eye. 

You swallowed feeling your heart sink slightly being able to distinguish Jae’s form even from your limited sight. You slowly turned your head in his direction offering him a quivering smile wondering just how everything had managed to get messed up in such a short amount of time. He titled his head obviously confused at why you hadn’t told him you had arrived but still managed to grin back at you causing you to feel slightly bad. 

Even after the small greeting, his gaze didn’t leave you, but you were the one to break eye contact first turning to the man on your right. You gently grabbed his arm pulling at his sleeve to get his attention. He gradually turned his head to look at you, sad dull eyes looking into yours. 

“I need to talk-” you were once again interrupted by Younghyun’s voice calling the turn of the first player. 

Jae.

You felt yourself halt all movement, air leaving your lungs. You whipped your head around in his direction watching him roll his eyes at Wonpil’s light teasing. You could only focus on Jae as he slightly leaned to get closer to the bottle reaching out for it with a focused expression. 

His eyes briefly flickered to your wide ones before going back to the bottle hesitating slightly before spinning it. You had completely forgotten about Sungjin who was also watching the bottle spin with baited breath gaze landing on your form to take in your reactions.

Your heart skipped a beat everytime the bottle pointed it’s devilish finger at you while on the move. Of course, you wanted it to be you, but there was so many people in the circle the chance of the stupid bottle landing on you was close to none. Suddenly Younghyun pushed Wonpil into the circle making the smaller man stumble and put his foot in the bottle’s path while trying to regain his balance. 

Wonpil’s interference made the bottle come to an abrupt stop pointing solely at one person. 

You. 

You felt your entire body go cold taking in a shaky breath and meeting Jae’s own wide eyes behind the rims of his glasses. You felt your face grow hot seeing Wonpil and Younghyun high fiving each other in the background. You wanted to laugh at the clicheness of it. It seemed everybody had known you and Jae were in love before you and Jae. 

You looked at Dowoon and Sungjin unsure of your next actions. Dowoon simply smirked at you wiggling his eyebrows and giggling under his breath while Sungjin’s face became hard to read eyes flashing with unknown emotions. So much for the help of your best friends.

You heard a clearing of a throat gaining your attention and making you jump at seeing Jae had already stood up brushing himself off. He playfully smiled at you shaking the messy blonde hair out of his shining eyes and holding a unsteady hand out to you.

You slowly stood up on trembling knees not being able to concentrate on the shouting from the people in the circle. Your vision felt hazy not really being able to believe what was happening. You put a hesitant hand on his, feeling his hand wrap around yours warmth instantly seeping in from his touch traveling up your arm through your whole body. 

You couldn’t lie to yourself. You were terrified of what would happen in that closet. What if he just told you he didn’t want anything of that sort to do with you and you had to sit in awkward silence for several more minutes holding in your tears and rejected by the very person you had fallen in love with at a dumb party game. 

He took in the fear and worry swimming in your eyes gripping your hand tighter. His head tilted, smiling softly at you and opening his mouth to say something, but his words were robbed from his throat when his eyes took in something behind you. You felt your hand get taken in an uncomfortably tight grip, the hand tugging you backwards making your hand slip from Jae’s loose warm one. 

You swiveled around getting met with the sight of your best friend. His eyes were narrowed and his jaw was set.

“You can’t play this stupid game with her. You won’t be taking her into that closet, not while i’m here” his tone was bitter and harsh. You tried shaking your hand out of his grip, but his clutch on you grew tighter making you cry out and start slapping your hands on Sungjin’s chest. 

Jae instantly reached out for your thrashing figure only for Sungjin to pull you out of his reach. Jae scoffed anger staining his once bright brown eyes a darker shade. “Sungjin, what do you think you’re doing man. Let her go before and we can solve whatever is going on without throwing her around like this. Who are you to-”

Sungjin cut him off with a growl. 

“Her boyfriend” 

You felt an icy feeling expand from your core to your fingertips having stopped moving in Sungjin’s hold. “What the hell Sungjin what are you talking about you asshole-” you turned around and seeing the look on Jae’s face you trashed around harder having to slap at Sungjin’s hands to break free of his clasp. 

His eyes went from Sungjin’s guilty face to your own angry confused one. The crease between his eyebrows deepened, mouth letting out a disbelieving exhale and shoulders slumping in disappointment. He started backing away shaking his head and looking at you in a way he had never looked at you. 

In anger.

You tried reaching out towards him voice shaky when you called out to him. “Jae no, you have to listen to me I have no idea-” the rest of your words didn’t get to reach him, Wonpil and Younghyun both blocking you from getting any closer to his retreating figure. Both looked at you with cold expressions and you remembered other people had also just witnessed you going into an intimate space with a man when you already had a supposed boyfriend. 

You felt embarrassment and shame flood your chest twisting uglily around your lungs and squeezing. Now you were only aware of the whispers and glares circling around your lone figure. You swiftly turned around to face Sunjin, head bent not being able to meet your heated gaze. 

You briefly looked at Dowoon who was as equally shocked as you were. 

You hissed Sungjin’s name huffing when he still didn’t look up tightly wrapping your arm around his wrist and dragging him up the stairs to his room blinking away the tears from the sheer humiliation coursing through your system. 

Sungjin tried sputtering out your name, but you paid no attention not stopping in your stride until you reached his room on the second floor and pushed his body out into the balcony connected to his room. 

You instantly exploded, voices coming out in rapid angry waves. 

“What the fuck was that Sungjin what did you just- Do you know what you just did” your voice was desperate frustrated tears making your eyes watery. 

“I’m so sorry-”

“No! No Sungjin, you don’t get to apologize until i know what you’re apologizing for” you set your teary eyes on Sungjin who finally looked up, for once, face open and  flooded with guilt and regret. 

“I panicked, and I know there is no excuse for what i just did, i just- I don’t know these past few days…”

You let out a thwarted groan. “That’s exactly the problem idiot, I have no idea what’s been going on with you these past few days. You never told me anything”

He closed his eyes as if physically pained turning around to lean on the railing of the balcony and burying his head in his hands. You also felt all energy seep out of your body, slumping dejectedly next to him. You looked at him resting your arms on your arms which were resting on the railing. 

“Please tell me, what made my best friend and brother suddenly claim he’s my boyfriend right in front of my crush of years” 

You saw his facial expressions twist in a wince, finally taking in the consequences of his panicked words. 

He looked at you, mouth pulling into a guilty smile. 

“Your brother fucked up pretty bad didn’t he peaches?” You nodded at him. 

“Why Sungjin, why did you do that?”

He looked up at the sky taking in the ugly clouds blocking the stars. You simply looked at your hands, sadness making your limbs feel heavy. 

“I felt like I was losing you, that’s why” You pouted in confusion. “Why would you ever think that? You know I depend on you a lot Sungjin, this doesn’t-” you stopped at his defeated sigh. 

“It has always been you, Dowoon, and I, but out of nowhere you started hanging out with Jae. I don’t know why, but i felt threatened by that. I mean, you even lied to me about where you really were when you hung out with him at that noodle place” 

Your jaw dropped. “How did you-”

“I saw you guys on my way to buy Dowoon a new game controller” he chuckled and shrugged. “I didn’t say anything. It’s not my place to, but then I found out he liked you too, and to me, the chances of you completely forgetting about me for him skyrocketed” Your knees buckled and you had to grip the railing to remain standing as you gasped and sputtered. “He what-”

Sungjin paid you no attention simply nodding like the fact the person you had feelings for returning said feelings was no big deal. You whined and stomped  your feet because what did it matter now. Any chance with him was blown. Sungjin continued. 

“You wouldn’t need me anymore if you had him. You wouldn’t need your big brother anymore if you had him. You would forget all about me. I mean, why wouldn’t you? You’ve liked him for so long, and i’m just...me” 

You inhaled a large breath, hand resting on your fast beating heart at all the newfound information. “Can I talk now?” He waved his hand in a way that said “go on”.

“First of all Sungjin, you’re the one who’s always told me to come out of my shell and to talk to more people. Ever since high school, you’ve been telling me to spread out and get more friends. Why are you being like this when I actually did what you said and started talking to others. Will you behave this way every time I grow close to someone else? It was wrong of you to tell me something and act this way when I listened to your advice. It was especially wrong of you to just stand there and declare you’re my boyfriend, you had no right to do that” He hung his head seeing the truth in my words. “Well?”

He set his mouth in a straight line nodding. “I- You’re right, you’re completely right. How could I be such a hypocrite” He scoffed at himself chuckling lowly at his own stupidity. “I guess I just got scared.”

You narrowed your eyes at him still not being able to believe he would actually think you would up and leave him. “There comes my second point. Sungjin, how could you ever believe I would just forget you. Do you doubt me that much?  Doubt our friendship that much? Our friendship of literal years” 

He stayed silent. “Do you hear how stupid it is now?” He nodded his head once hands fiddling nervously. 

“You are someone I value very much, but that doesn't mean you’ll be the only person to hold so much importance to me. It doesn’t put you in any position to be able to act like you own all my attention and friendship.” He once again nodded silently guilt swimming in his irises. 

“I was in the wrong and for that I’m sorry peaches. I realize now that you will continue to grow and gain new people who you will bond with. You will get hurt, but that’s not something I can control nor that I can stop and unfortunately, neither can you. I can only be there to bring a smile back on your face, and i’m perfectly fine with that” he acknowledged, the corners of his lips slightly pulling up in a melancholy smile.

You felt all tension leave your body finally feeling like you had your brother back. The same one you had always confided on. You no longer felt like the air around you was pressing in on you, slowly stealing the remaining oxygen from your lungs. 

He turned towards you and looked up before looking at you and opening his arms. “I’m sorry.” You didn’t really hesitate stepping into his embrace. “I’m still mad at you” you grumbled into his chest. “I know peaches, I understand. It’s okay” He laughed softly against your hair. “I’ll make it up to you. I promise. I’ll be better” You believed, of course you did. He was your brother, your closest friend. An irreplaceable part of your life who had made a little slip up, well maybe a big slip up, but you still forgave him. 

“We should have done this a long time ago” you muttered against his jacket. 

“What?” he questioned. “Talked. So much could have been avoided if we had just talked” Sungjin hummed in reply both of you knowing you each had some fault in that.  

You remembered Jae’s disappointed stare, his lips pressed together in a tight line as he got farther and farther away from you. You played with one of the threads from the jean jacket you were wearing feeling helpless in the answer of what to do to gain Jae’s forgiveness. At this point, you didn’t think there was a chance of being anything more than friends with him. You didn’t feel like you deserved him just wanting to explain to him that what happened wasn’t his fault. 

You just wanted him to smile again. You wanted him to be happy. You would feel lucky just being his friend again. You expected nothing more if you were honest with yourself. 

You lightly hit Sungjin’s shoulder exaggeratedly groaning. “How am I gonna explain this to Jae” your voice was muffled by his jacket but he simply laughed again, “I don’t think you have to”

“What are you talking about you-” Shock hit you like a truck when you remembered him looking up while he was apologizing. Something told you he wasn’t just apologizing to you. You looked up at the balcony above the one you were standing on seeing a head of fluffy blonde hair blown all over the place from the wind and a grin aimed at you. 

“Jae! Did you- Did you hear everything?” You couldn’t help but to smile at the loud laugh that rang throughout the night air. “I don’t know, why don’t you come up and find out?” You breathlessly looked at Sungjin who smiled softly at you pushing you back into his room. 

You didn’t look back as you exited his room walking back up the stairs with a trembling but hopeful heart. You came across what you knew was Jae’s room after having to drag him to it from when he got a really bad stomach ache. You knocked on the door mentally preparing yourself for whatever you were about to hear.

A soft stifled “come in” was heard from inside the room. You opened the door, eyes immediately landing on the figure that was on the balcony leaning on the railing and looking up at the sky. You walked towards the balcony, your breath rattling in your throat. You opened the door that led out to the balcony shakily calling his name. 

He stayed silent as you came up next to him, also tilting your head up and getting taken aback by the twinkling stars appearing at the parting of the clouds. The quiet preserved, and your mind was only really able to focus on his arm brushing against yours and your heart pounding in your ears. You fiddled with your hands picking at your nails jumping at the sound of Jae suddenly laughing. 

“A few minutes ago I thought I was the stupidest man on earth” You didn’t really know what to say in reply to that just turning your head to look at him as a sign you were listening. 

“I mean imagine the feeling of finding out you had been writing cheesy love songs about a person only to find out they were with someone else the whole time” you opened your mouth to retaliate, but he turned his head to look at you with a soft knowing smile. “I know, I know now, you’re just friends” He turned to look back at the night sky, the smile still not leaving his face. 

You were still shocked at the fact that some of the songs you had seen him diligently working on next to you in class could have been about you. Words of love and admiration from him written right next to you, and you were none the wiser. 

You felt like all the words you could say in that moment, just weren’t enough. Instead, you reached out to fix his glasses which had gone askew only to gasp silently when he grabbed your wrist looking at you once more. “You know, there were times where I felt lesser than him. He had known you since you were around the height of my knee, and had grown up with you. Who was I to him” He admitted wearily smiling at you. 

You leaned in slightly letting your hand move to firmly grip his maintaining eye contact as you got ready to speak. “You? You are Jae Park. The stupid, goofy, lovely, hard-working song writer who has never failed to make me happy and take care of me. Who always bought me food thinking of me, and who never hesitated to be self-less at the expense of myself.” You faltered, licking your lips anxiously for what you were about to say feeling your whole body grow hot. 

“You are Jae Park, the person I'm hopelessly in love with,” you confessed breathily watching him lean closer to you, lips pressing to your forehead while he laughed happily against your skin, hands traveling up your arms to gently cradle your face.

 “What were we doing all this time? I guess the starbursts really did a number of us if we’re both so in love with each other and didn’t notice” he murmured lips traveling down the space between your eyebrows to the slope of your nose forehead now resting against yours. His glasses were pressing uncomfortably against the bridge of your nose, but you didn’t really mind too caught up in the feeling of his body pressed against your as your hands moved to clutch at his shirt. 

We’re together now” you whispered lips slightly brushing against his. He smiled adoringly at you before leaning in to close the gap lips softly slanting his lips against yours as if testing the waters before growing more eager and tilting his head to grow impossibly closer to you still softly parting your mouth with his. The kiss remained soft and innocent, unspoken words after months of pining, and delicate confessions of love expressed. The warmth from one simple kiss traveled all the way to your heels spreading in a tender but passionate manner. 

You separated, catching your breath, his hands still cradling your face before he leaned in stealing a peck and chuckling when he pulled back. 

The wind grew stronger whipping at your hair and clothes making a small shiver travel down the spine and forcing you to snuggle his jacket tighter around you clearing your throat and smiling like an idiot. One of his hands left your face to tickle you, smile getting bigger at your loud laugh.

“Nice Jacket”

“Thanks, I wanted to give it back to it’s handsome owner” He bought you closer wrapping his arms around your form, hair tickling your temple and his nose pressing into the crook of your neck.

“The handsome owner thinks you look 100 times better in it than he ever did, Kim Kardashian could never” 

You laughed into his shoulder thinking you would be fine without the jacket believing the warmth provided from his simple touch was enough to keep you warm in the coldest of nights.

[rm4ever]

The Legend of Avatar Katara:

Summary: Water. Earth. Fire. Air. Long ago, all of the nations lived together in harmony. But then, everything changed when the Fire Nation attcked. Only the Avatar, the master of all the elements, can stop them. But when the world needed him the most, he perished in a mysterious iceberg. A new Avatar, named Katara, a Southern Water Tribe member, has to master all of the elements and stop the war. But I believe, Katara can change the world.

This is an original story by me, and yes, I do also love Avatar. Probably one of the best shows I’ve watched. Sooo I hope you all like this Avatar fans :D

A/N: Timeline for now: The year is 1086 (This is my AU). Sokka is 2 yrs old, and Katara isn't born yet, but this is the year that she will be born. Hakoda and Kya are 38 yrs old in this, and Aang is 100 yrs old.

The 100 Year War in the show ends at the year 2000, and it started at the year 1000.

(I did so much fucking Math in this so now im tired af so if I have any mistakes pls tell me, I'm desperate.)

Summary: On a weirdly sunny day in the South Pole, a young couple discovered a mysterious object.

"Hakoda! Have you found any fish yet?" The woman asked.

"Yes..?" The man, Hakoda, answered.

"You're too busy looking at your muscles, are you?" The woman asked while doing air quotations.

"Kya, I don't think there is going to be any fish. It's so hot today, and plus, you're pregnant. You shouldn't be here anyways." Hakoda replied to his wife, ignoring what she just said.

The wife, Kya, made a pouty face, and looked to the distance, but she saw a humongous-spherical shaped iceberg. She tapped on Hakoda's shoulder, who was still listing reasons on why she was not supposed to be there with him.

"What is it?"

"What is that?!" She said while pointing to the iceberg.

Hakoda turned around and gasped a little. "Something we need to avoid. Come on, let's go back now, Kya."

"But I can see a person inside! It's really cold out here, so he or she can die!"

Hakoda sighed and said, "Then how do you suppose we can get them out?"

"Well, it is sunny today, so the ice will be weaker, and we can use your "mighty club" to destroy some pieces!"

"I can't argue with you, no?"

"A woman has her ways. Now, row faster so we can help them!"

"But-"

"No excuses."

Hakoda swerved through the chunks of ice that was on the water, and they finally arrived to where the 'thing' was. It was very clear that there was someone in there, as well as a big cow or something.

"Well? Start hitting it already!" Kya said.

"Okay, okay!"

After multiple hits and complaints, they finally penetrated some parts. A big blow of air rushed out of the iceberg, and a small boy with weird tattoos on his body appeared. He was wearing yellow and orange colored outfit that was way to thin for the weather. It may be sunny, but it was still very cold.

"Gah! What is a boy doing here? Wait, let me see his condition." Kya said while putting her hand on the boy's forehead.

"He's ice cold. He's going to die soon..."

"Being out here for so long with such thin clothes can do that to you. I wish we could've found him sooner. Plus, what are those weird blue tattoos he has?" Hakoda asked.

"Hakoda...I think he's an airbender."

"What?! Aren't they extinct?"

"Well, they are going to be soon. But yes, they are. The Fire Nation eradicated them, though they deny it and just say it was a fire that happened and burnt them all." Kya says sadly.

"Why would the Fire Nation do such a thing anyway? The Airbenders were pacifists, so they wouldn't attack them at anytime."

"I'm not sure, but their reason was because of the Avatar. The last Avatar, Avatar Roku, was a Firebender and the next Avatar was going to be an Airbender. They wanted to end the Avatar cycle so they killed every single Airbender, so that the Avatar would not get in their way. But apparently, one survived. This boy...could be the Avatar."

"FInally...after nearly a century of war, we have hope. We can defeat the Fire Nation." Hakoda says with a tinge of happiness in his voice.

"But...he's dying, Hakoda. This may be the last Avatar." Kya comments.

After a moment of silence, a new voice speaks.

"W-who...who are you? And where am I?"

"I am Hakoda, and this is my wife, Kya."

Suddenly, he sneezed and a large gust of wind came down.

Kya gasped and said, "Oh! You're an Airbender! What's your name?"

"My name is Aang. Anyways, where are the other Airbenders?"

After a look of sadness from the both of us, Hakoda broke the silence.

"The Airbenders all...died. I'm sorry."

"Hakoda!" Kya exclaimed.

"What? He has to know the truth!"

"..."

"O-oh. I'm the last one then?"

"Yes. We're sorry." Hakoda says sadly.

"It's fine...I'm just going to miss Monk Gyatso."

After another long silence, Kya continues the conversation.

"Are you the Avatar? You can trust us, I promise."

"Are you sure you aren't going to hurt me?" Aang said.

"Definitely." Hakoda says.

Aang takes a deep breath and starts explaining. "I ran away from my home because...because I was being sent away from my mentor and friends. And now, everyone is in danger because of me. I'm so so sorry."

"Well, if you didn't run away, the Avatar cycle would stop, and there wouldn't be anymore Avatar, and now, we have a chance to stop the war once and for all." Hakoda says.

"That's right! But, I don't really feel so good." Aang comments.

"I'm sure you're fine." Kya lies. We both know he's going to die soon. He looks so young too. "By the way, what is that giant cow-thing?" Kya finishes.

"Oh! That's my flying-bison, Appa! I don't really say he's my pet, because we're the best of friends. Isn't that right Appa?"

The bison licks Aang when he finishes, and then sniffs the both of us, and Appa also licks us. It's kind of disgusting, but cute at the same time.

"Well! I think we should go home now, right Kya? Let's let this little boy rest." Hakoda says excitedly.

——————————————————————————————————

The boy was getting paler when we arrived back at our village. We tried to help him to get better, but we aren't very skilled to treating people. We aren't used to this either. So, we put him in our hottest room, but it's not helping. I wish we could've helped this boy further, but there's not much we can do about it.

"I'm going to die soon, aren't I? I feel so sick too...I hope the next Avatar will be better than me." Aang says with a tinge of regret in his voice.

"You're doing the best you can, and I'm sure the next Avatar will appreciate that." Kya says.

"At least I can see Monk Gyatso now, as well as all my friends. I'm glad that I met you two!" Aang says and smiles brightly, before the light went away from his eyes. Kya put her hands on his eyelids and closed his eyes.

"I'm happy he had a peaceful death. I wonder who's the next Avatar is going to be." Hakoda says.

Then, a kick comes from Kya's baby, making Kya and Hakoda laugh.

"Whoever the next Avatar is going to be, I'm sure they'll be the ones to stop the war. And I have a feeling this little girl here in my belly will help with that cause." Kya comments.

"Girl? How are you so sure?" Hakoda asks while his eyebrow lifts up.

"Oh, call it a mother's sense." Kya answers happily.

"Dada! Dada!" A new voice that came from a toddler.

"Well, I hear a certain boy is going to play with you now, Hakoda." Kya exclaims.

"It is playtime now, after all. Have a nice rest sweetie."

Kya smiled at this as Hakoda left the tent to play with Sokka. The baby in the womb started kicking again.

"You're gonna be a real feisty one, aren't you?"

A/N: Ah, if only Kya knew. Anyways, thoughts for my story? I hope you guys are going to like it! I won't be updating consistenlty because I do have other stories, as well as (ugh) school.

Uh...bye?

(idk how to end these things okay-)

[vantemei]

taehyung sighs as he enters his apartment, throwing his bag to land somewhere hopefully not hazardous and pulling his belt off to throw it in the same direction. as much as he loves working his dream job, modeling is not as easy as it seems. his limbs ache from holding awkward poses all day and his stomach growls with hunger from not having time to eat. on that thought taehyung drags himself to his kitchen, discarding his pants along the way so he's left in his black briefs and the silk button up he got to keep after the shoot. it's a nice off white color that goes well with his current grey hair as the stylist had pointed out. the pattering of small feet on the hardwood floor draws taehyung's attention and he smiles tiredly as yeontan comes dashing down the hallway, small puppy making a straight line to where taehyung is now crouched down to welcome the small pup.

"tan ah, i'm home. did you miss me?" it's an obvious question because the minute yeontan is in taehyung's arms he's jumping up and licking at his face and yipping happily. it makes taehyung laugh with fondness and he feels a little lighter already but he wants to cry when he opens his fridge. a head of lettuce, a tub of kimchi, a sad apple that sits bruised in the back of the second shelf, and a nearly empty jug of milk is what greets him and taehyung remembers the grocery shopping trip he blew off yesterday to get boba with jimin.

his mouth suddenly tastes like boba and bitterness and taehyung sighs heavily, too tired to work up the tears he feels stinging his eyes from frustration. "tan ah, you daddy is a fool." taehyung pouts at the puppy in his arms and yeontan yips and licks his nose, drawing another fond giggle.

his bare feet pad over the plush carpet to his bedroom and he barely strips off his shirt before he's falling onto his silk sheets, tension leaking out of his body in waves as he rolls to the middle and let's himself be enveloped by the sweet embrace of sleep, smiling as he feels his puppy wiggling himself under taehyung's arm to curl up against his chest.

an hour or two later taehyung jolts awake suddenly and sits up groggily, rubbing his eyes and looking around to try and see what woke him up. his curtains aren't drawn in his room (or anywhere else in the apartment for that matter, he much prefers natural light over artificial) and the golden ray's of the evening sun filter in through the window. yeontan still sleeps soundly beside him and taehyung idly runs a hand through his fur.

a sudden thump makes taehyung jump and his eyes go wide, suddenly very awake as he looks at where his door is cracked very slightly. he can't see his living room from the crack because of the small hallway where his bedroom is but that's definitely where the sound is coming from.

slowly getting to his feet taehyung's eyes flicker across his room. on his left draped across his closet door is his dressing gown, a gift from gucci, and on his right on the wall is his aesthetically pleasing realistic samurai sword he bought undercover at an anime convention.

another thud from the living room and taehyung jolts, grabbing the sword and pushing silently into his hallway. there's a voice mumbling something and what sounds like a muffled curse or two paired with a few more noises of someone moving stuff around.

fear chills taehyung's blood despite the warm summer breeze and taehyung bites his lip, terrified. he doesn't want to die, he has so much to do. he's hasn't been to the louvre yet! he's never been in love! jimin still owes him twenty thousand won for the time he bet taehyung to eat a ball of wasabi. yeontan still needs him!

summoning all the courage he can and sending off a last minute prayer that jimin makes sure gucci sponsors his funeral, taehyung jumps around the corner with a vicious battle cry, sword held high and ready.

when jeon jeongguk signed up to be a fireman he signed up for a life of saving lives and helping people. sometimes that does mean being the heroic man who runs into a burning building and comes out carrying a sixty year old woman and her cat but sometimes it also means doing routine fire alarm check up and being shouted at by a man in his thirties who thinks he's a government spy putting a camera in his house to spy on him. those days feel significantly less heroic but someone has to do them and jeongguk is really bad at kai bai bo.

it's a nicer complex in gangnam today which means instead of a hallway full of doors, jeongguk takes the elevator up and presses the entry code for each floor. the lower five floors have multiple apartments and as the floors go up the bigger the apartments get and the less there are per floor until the top floor that is a single apartment. most of the people jeongguk has had to deal with today have been at least politely hospitable, leaving him be to do his job and offering the rare drink.

"hello, this is the fire department. i'm here for a routine fire alarm check up, is anyone home?" jeongguk buzzes the intercom in the elevator for the last floor. it's on the highest floor so the person who lives here must make a lot. another stuck up rich person. jeongguk sighs at the thought and waits a few more minutes, trying twice more before giving up and pressing the nine digit security code into the panel in the elevator thinking the tenant must be out.

the elevator doors open into a massive room, floor to ceiling window surrounding it and the apartment is nice. it looks like more than jeongguk could afford in his life and it's decorated beautifully. the kitchen is modern and neat with white marble counter tops and an open layout. the living room is spread out with a massive tv in the wall. the living room itself looks like it's the same size as jeongguk's entire one bedroom apartment and he can't help but be amazed. far to his left is a small gated area with a bunch of small toys in it and a little bed. the gate comes up about to a little under jeongguk's knee so it's must be for a small dog.

there are various paintings on the walls and jeongguk only recognizes one of them as van gogh's almond blossoms but they're all beautiful. maybe it's an art dealer that lives here?

jeongguk shakes himself out of his marveling and makes his way to the kitchen. the kitchen is just next to the elevator and against one of the only walls that isn't a window. the fire alarm is about a third of the way up the wall and jeongguk is once again taken aback at how high the ceiling is. it must be five meters high at least.

there's a bag that's looks a bit out of place with the cleanliness of the rest of the apartment and jeongguk glances at the lion on it he recognizes vaguely as gucci. he picks the bag up and places it on the counter, out of his way as he sets the step ladder he's had to carry around all day against the wall and climbs up to begin fiddling with the alarm.

a few minutes go by of him working peacefully. there are three alarms in the apartment that he knows of. two by the kitchen and one in the hallway. jeongguk is halfway through finishing the second one when it happens.

there's a sudden scream and jeongguk whips around only to be faced with a man in briefs wielding a sword. jeongguk screams and he jerks, stool suddenly wobbly beneath him and he's falling, back slamming into the ground and air rushing out of his lungs.

"oh my god! i'm so sorry!"

jeongguk gasps for air with wide eyes as a face suddenly appears above him. honey gold skin and wide amber eyes swim into focus followed by cloud soft grey hair and plump cherry stained lips. jeongguk's feels his breath knocked out of him again, this time for a different reason.

"i though you were a sasaeng or a burgler! i'm so sorry! i didn't mean to make you fall! i mean i did but that's because i thought you were gonna steal my stuff or kidnap me! oh god im so sorry! are you ok?!"

jeongguk just gapes dumbly, mouth opening and closing like a fish as he tries to remember how to speak but he can't think of anything but the way the beauty in front of him sounds like his voice was a thunderstorm dipped in chocolate and jeongguk felt like he was drowning.

"oh my god you have brain damage don't you- i've ruined your life! i can't believe i-" the beauty looks over jeongguk's head, presumably for injuries and jeongguk suddenly remembers the mostly naked state of said beauty and can't stop himself before his eyes are wandering down. he looks like he takes bathes in honey is all jeongguk can think as he scans over his toned but slim figure, choking when his eyes come to rest on the golden barbells running through dusty pink nipples.

"ok ok you wait here and i'll get dressed and i'll get you some ice!" the beauty is gone before jeongguk can even gather himself to form a single word and no he does not stare at the way his ass moves as he disappears down the hallway ('goddamn what a snack').

by the time the beauty is back, this time dressed in black sweatpants with a red black and white snake down the left leg and loose cream button up that shows his collarbones, jeongguk has managed to make his way to the unfairly comfortable couch in the living room where he gapes just as lamely as he did on the floor as he holds the back of his head.

the beauty passes the cold pack he grabbed to jeongguk and takes a seat beside him biting his lower lip in worry.

"i'm so sorry about this, i didn't know anyone from the fire department was coming today and i thought you were a sasaeng who managed to get in. do you need me to take you to the hospital? how are you feeling?"

"i-i'm ok i just- i was surprised by the sword," jeongguk finally manages to choke out and the beauty flushes. jeongguk feel's like he's looking at the eighth wonder of the world.

"ah that. i don't really have an explanation for that? i just grabbed the first thing i saw?"

"a sword?"

beauty shrugs. "i have hobbies."

this draws a laugh out of jeongguk and the beauty looks relieved to hear it, smiling in relief.

"i'm jeon jeongguk, i'm a fireman- i guess you can tell from the shirt," the black shirt he's wearing with his jeans that says 'SEOUL FIRE DEPARTMENT' in big white letters. wow jeongguk, smooth. "i came here to check you fire alarms and make sure they're working."

"oh my god i haven't even introduced myself yet. i'm kim taehyung i'm sorry i almost attacked you with a sword." jeongguk laughs again and this time the beauty, taehyung, joins him. his laugh is just as amazing as his blush was. jeongguk's heart skips a beat.

"are you sure you feel oka- OH MY GOD!" jeongguk barely processes the horrified look on taehyung's face before his head is grabbed, gently, and pulled forward. "jeongguk-ssi you're bleeding! oh my god we need to go to the hospital!"

there's a sudden small bark and they both jolt, taehyung releasing jeongguk's head to crouch down and pick up the small dog that appeared by their feet.

"tan ah, i'm sorry baby, daddy's gotta go again ok? be a good boy for me until i'm home," taehyung presses a kiss to the puppy's head and jeongguk tries not to faint as taehyung's words hit him full force, a blush taking over his face until it must resemble gochujang.

"let me grab my keys and i'll drive you, i'm so sorry about this jeongguk-ssi." taehyung sets the puppy down in the play area jeongguk notices earlier and he dashes down the hallyway again, reappearing with a leather wallet he slips in his back pocket with his keys, dialing his phone in one hand while he helps jeongguk stand with the other.

now that they're moving jeongguk is suddenly more aware of the feeling of wetness sliding down the back of his skull and how suddenly dizzy he feels, grunting in surprise as the elevator doors open and he topples forward. strong arms wrap around his waist before he can fall more than a couple centimeters and jeongguk is pulled into a strong chest, one arm still around his waist and the other now holding a phone against taehyung's ear.

"jin-hyung! are you working today.....i need help......no i'm fine but i accidentally attacked this really hot fireman with a sword- no! that is not a euphemism!"

jeongguk giggles a little drunkenly and leans his head on taehyung's shoulder, the one his arm is over, inhaling the scent of eucalyptus and chai with a ditzy smile.

"no hyung, seriously i think he has a concussion, he's bleeding!.......yes.....yes....ok, thank you so much hyung i owe you! we'll be there in fifteen minutes."

taehyung hangs up the call and looks worriedly over at jeongguk. he seems ok aside from the dizzy look on his face and the blood that has now begun to drip down his forehead. taehyung yelps and brings his sleeve up to wipe at it, any idea of a stain not even concerning him.

they make it through through the lobby and to garage relatively easily with taehyung supporting a solid amount of jeongguk's weight before he's sitting him down on the curb and telling him to 'wait here, don't move!'. jeongguk doesn't think he could do much moving anyway, his head is really starting to throb.

jeongguk doesn't even take a second glance at the car that pulls up next to him until taehyung is by his side and helping him into it and jeongguk openly gapes as he's ushered into the black porsche. he doesn't remember much after that. he can hazily recall getting to the hospital and being helped onto a gurney but the next time he wakes up he's greeted again by wide amber eyes and the most beautiful man in the world.

[protectjuminhan]

Hi!^^...Do you think you can maybe do one where RFA +Saeran +V find out that its MCs birthday on the actual day and they need to get her something asap or do something sweet with her(if you know what I mean) :)

Hello! Yes I do think I can and I do think I know what youmean *wink wonk*

Warning: Suggestive NSFW

Yoosung

Don’t get this poor puppy wrong

He knew when your birthday was, he justdidn’t know what today’s date was

So when he checked his phone after a quickappointment with a sick puppy to find a text from Baehee Jaehee askingwhat he got you

He freaked

With luck on his side, there being no moreappointments to attend to, he headed straight for the grocery store to grab theingredients for a cake

He pleaded Jaehee over the phone to takeyou out for a surprise coffee and she was willing to help but not before shescolded him for not being prepared

He rushed home and stared cooking the bestcake he ever made

When you got home Yoousung had justfinished putting the icing on the cake

He was an utter mess

Flour in his hair and on his apron

Pink icing on his face

The cake had read Happy Birthday MC withhearts around it

you wiped the icing off his cheek andsucked it off your fingers

When Yoosung looked this cute youcouldn’t resist yourself

“Yoosung, after we eat this let’s get tothe real dessert, Ok?”

INSTANT boner BLUSH

ZEN (Im sorry Zen’s is so short! Don’t hate me I love him!)

He had just got home from rehearsal when hesaw a box at his doorstep

He picked it up to find that it was fromJumin

He read the letter attached to it and whenhe saw the Happy Birthday in fancy print

Oh the guilt

The guilt hit this man like a wrecking ball

How could he not have known?

The topic just never came up?

Oh man did he feel terrible

He opened the door, carrying the box andsaw you laying on the couch scrolling on your phone

“Jagiya, Oh Jagiya could you ever forgiveme?”

“Umm… ZEN?”

“Let me make it up to you, princess”

He kneeled in front of you

Grabbed your hands

And sang the most beautiful version ofHappy Birthday that you’ve ever heard

You never knew that old, traditional songcould ever sound so amazing

He kissed your knuckles and then picked youup off the couch with his strong arms

“Since today is your birthday you know whatthat means right, Jagiya?”

birthday sex

 Jaehee

You both are always so busy with the café

But with all the time you spend togethershe’d think she would at least know your birthday

But when she checked the messenger beforecoming into work and saw all the Happy Birthday messages

She felt like the worst girlfriend bestfriend ever to exist

She sent in her happy birthday text on themessenger along with the others and headed to the café

All day she felt so guilty that shecouldn’t even make eye contact with you

She was very distant and focused on work

Finally, after the café she invited youover to watch some ZEN DVDs

After watching about the third DVD youbegan to get tired

She noticed you kept trying to pop yourback and neck

“MC, if you don’t mind, I could give you amassage”

“Really, Jaehee? That’s just what I need,honestly”

You laid down on her bed and she went to goget oils and lotion

When she returned, she asked you to removeyour shirt and bra

You obliged and took them off facing awayfrom her

She was a wide eyed blushing mess

When she began rubbing the oils In yourskin little moans would slip past your lips

It’d make her cheeks burn and her hands workharder

She massaged you until you fell asleep

Jumin

He’s been so caught up with work

His dad forced a project on him and to makethings better Jumin had been feeling quite inspirational about new cat projectas of late

So when he finally has time for a breatherhe checks his phone to see six missed calls from Zen

Reluctantly, Jumin called back to beanswered by an enraged Zen

Jumin barely cared enough to actuallylisten in on Zen’s colorful vocabulary, choosing instead to look over paperswhile holding the phone to his ear with his shoulder

That is until he heard, “What kind ofhusband forgets his wife’s birthday”

Jumin froze

Utter shock

He hung up on Zen immediately and droppedeverything he was doing

He briefly told Jeahee he had an emergencyto take care of and that she was in charge for the rest of the day

She had an idea of what his “emergency”might be

He called driver Kim to take him home tohis wife

On the way, they drove past a flower shopand Jumin stopped the car to buy 3 dozen red roses and had many more sent tothe penthouse ASAP

In the car, he called to rent out thefanciest restaurant in the city for the night

Once he got home, he saw MC reading on thecouch with Elizabeth III curled up on her lap

Jumin rushed to MC with the roses and heldthem out to her

“Happy birthday, my beautiful and lovingwife. I love you with every atom of my being and I apologize from the very bottom ofmy heart for not realizing exactly what important day it is today. I hopeyou’ll forgive me and accompany me for dinner tonight to celebrate this mostspecial occasion”

MC smiled before taking the enormous bouquetand setting it on the glass table

She embraced her husband in a tight hug andlaughed

“Jumin, I don’t need bouquets or fancydinners for my birthday. I’m more than satisfied with you. You’re all I wantfor my birthday.”

MC pulled Jumin close by the tie, theirlips just barely brushing against each other

“So let me have you”

Jumin gladly obliged

 Seven

Of course God Seven knew when you’rebirthday was

But that doesn’t mean that God Seven isn’t aforgetful god

He woke up at two in the afternoon becausewhy not

Walked into the living room to find Saeranholding out a tiny wrapped present to MC

Seven’s not stupid, but that’s all his mindwas screaming at him while he grabbed his keys and ran out the door

Leaving behind a very confused MC andSaeran

While in the car he thought, “what do girlslike the most?”

Exactly after the question, a convertiblefull of girls pulled up next to him at a red light and whistled at him

The answer occurred to him

Girls like sexy ass cars

He sped to the nearest dealership and askedto see the most expensive car they had

Once he saw it, his eyes sparkled so bright

He asked the clerk how much the car was,pulled out his wallet and paid for the down payment in cash of course, because,again, why not

Pretty sure the salesman had never seenthat much money in his life

Seven drove it back to his house but notbefore threating to have anyone that damaged his car to be wiped off the faceof the earth entirely

He sent MC a text to come in the garage

As soon as she opened the door he revvedthe engine

Saeran rolled his eyes and walked backinside

“Hey, beautiful. Look what I found”

“Saeyoung, tell me you didn’t”

“But I did. Now are you gonna stand thereand gawk at it or are you gonna take it for a spin”

MC walked up to the car and got inside

“Actually, how about we get rid of this newcar smell”

Let’s just say Saeran had to put hisearphones on the highest volume it could go

 Saeran

There wasn’t much communication in MC andSaeran’s relationship

So the topic of her birthday never reallycame up

He just always seems to be caught up in histhoughts

So when he walked into the living room tofind Seven and MC with party hats on and cupcakes in hand it didn’t take himlong to put the pieces together

He grabbed Seven’s wallet and MC’s hand andmarched out the front door

MC would question where he was taking herbut it was so foreign for him to do such a bold act and it was very rare forhim to hold her hand so she just held her tongue and basked in the moment

He had managed to drag her to their favoriteice cream shop

He walked up to the counter, slammed somemoney down, and ordered their favorites

Once they had their ice cream in hand theysat at the table by the window eating in silence, which MC didn’t mind becauseshe knew Saeran wasn’t a big talker

After they finished Saeran grabbed hold ofMC’s hand again and they walked to the park not too far away

They sat at their favorite bench and Saeranstill didn’t let go of MC’s hand

“I’m sorry I didn’t know”

MC was about to tell him it was okay but Saerancontinued

“I’m sorry I don’t talk to you like Ishould either. If I talked to you like normal couples do then I would know but…I’m just not very good at being normal. That or… I just get nervous around you”

“Saeran…”

“I don’t talk to you much because you dothings to me. You make me feel warm and like no one has ever made me feel.”

His hand left MC’s which she felt sadabout… until she felt it’s presence somewhere else

He slid his hand along her thigh, up herskirt

“Usually, I can control myself, but youmake me feel so weak and vulnerable”

“When I’m around you… my body just seems tohave a mind of it’s own”

His hand had found your clothed heat

“Saeran… take me home, please”

He snatched his hand back and his eyes werewide with horror

Had he gone too far?

“Take me home and let your body do thetalking”

Saeran swallowed and you’ve never beendragged anywhere so fast

V (V’s is particularly long but I guess that’s because I’m just excited for his route)

V is spending the weekend in Venice taking photos for hisnext gallery

This sunflower knew his MC’s birthday of course

But being so caught up in his passion for photography andalways on the move trying to capture the beauty of the world, it may haveslipped his mind as to what today was.

It wasn’t until he randomly decided to check his phone whena notification from his calendar popped up stating that it was MC’s birthdaythat the guilt sunk it

Oh the guilt

This poor sunflower is always taking the blame for thingsand he lets the guilt sink down in him until it is engraved into his soul, thispoor precious boy

Oh did he feel so bad

Of course he had to choose the weekend that his love’sbirthday was on to go to Venice

The least he could’ve done was bring her with him but hedidn’t even think to ask 

A new burst of inspiration flooded his veins and he was onthe move

V was on the search for the most beautiful of views , theutmost of aesthetics

That night he left MC an apology, goodnight, and happybirthday text, turning his phone on silent and going to sleep before he couldeven read her reply

Once V returned home from his trip, he found MC watchingNetflix in the living room in her PJ’s

V sighed at the sight. Just the sight of seeing his lovercuddled up and watching movies gave him a comforting warmth

“Hello, sunshine”

MC jumped up when she heard the familiar voice like honey

“V, you’re back! I missed you” She grasped him and pulledhim into a hug and the guilt sunk in again. How could she be so happy to seethe one person that wasn’t there for her on her birthday?

“I apologize for not being here on your birthday, my love.I want to show you some things that I hope will make up for it. And then I willcontinue to keep making up for it a thousand times over”

He spoke into the crook of her neck, her familiar, sweetscent filling his lungs

“V, you don’t have to feel bad. I have plenty morebirthdays for you to attend in the future”

V smiled at this and lead MC to the couch and pulled outhis camera

He showed her multiple pictures of beautiful views,capturing angles not everyone would think to look from

“Do you see these places, Darling? Do you see how beautifulthe world is?”

“I do see, V. You always do an excellent job at capturingthe beauty of the world”

“All of these places” he began to delete the photos

“V! What are you doing? Stop!”

“All of these places mean nothing to me, MC. They meannothing to me because you are my home. Wherever you are that’s where I want tobe. Being in Venice without you, it felt so wrong. Missing your birthdaybecause I was gone has made me realize that I never want to chance missing asingle moment with you. I want to experience the world with you, MC. Will you join me on my next trip, and every tripafter that?”

V realized that MC is his sun, and that he would worshipher like a goddess

That night he worshiped his goddess over and over again.

- admin Naomi 

[zzpopzz]

Really long rant about how I made Vanilla Twilight, I typed it at 2am so it’s kinda crappy and boring, just skip through this post.

So I'd been thinking about it for a long time now, even before finishing Vanilla Twilight that I'd talk about it if someone asked, well that never happened so I was just thinking that I'd let it go but that post is so important to me so well fuck it I'll just talk about it anyway. I did it completely on a wimp like how cool would it be if I make a lyricstuck for Toumaki like I'd be the first (if anyone did this before me im sorry). The first song I intended to do wasn't VT, it was a much shorter and easier song. I saw the music video first time after a while and the lyrics gave me some scenes to draw right away, like the tones, the atmosphere, the lyrics all fit them very well, made me wanted to draw something happy but sad. The ending for it was a happy one instead of a sad one like other songs I did (I didn't post the ending for any of them, just let the viewers decide what it's gonna be) I was very scared like what if it won't turn out ok and people gonna hate me for it or no one even gonna look at it. Also what I visualized are mostly illustrations with backgrounds, what I never done before so high chance it won't go anywhere. I thought well let's just see how far will I get and won't talk about it at all until I post it so at least I won't be all barks no bite. I was very traumatized that someone might know about what I did so I locked all the files when I shut down my PC in case someone hack into it lmao. I started with making a storyboard(kinda) for it, this is where I first got trouble because there was some part I didn't think of when I visualized what I'd draw at first ( 'I don't feel so alone' part mostly and some in between) and it's only at this point that I realized how many I'd have to draw (over 40 images total) and it's mind blowing for someone who rarely finish a painting like me at that time, that number is more than what I'd draw in a year. VT doesn't have choruses that meant I can't do tricks like repeat some panels (I don't like this anyway). I usually painted on small canvas before that but I wanna make sure I can fix things later and some idea I had was pretty big so I used 3000x5000px canvas then trimmed them down ( I didn't know how big it was and it's huge). The idea was to make a tumblr scroll-post like a lyricstuck (my favorites are by paperseverywhere and toastyhat/emptyfeet , they made really cool tutorials about these) so I tried to drew out compositions that would look good scrolling down panel by panel and have some connections between them (this didn't turn out so good in the end because I wasn't good lol) Since I was scared that people might point out that I draw something wrong, it took me almost a week or something searching for references (check my pinterest board) like the streets, sky, houses, roads, outfits, poses,... I was going to draw. I got some knowledge about bikes by this too, like I can tell the differences between road bike, mtb, touring bikes,... I also see and captured bunches of screenshots and reread ywpd trivia countless time to make sure I won't get anything wrong. If you take notice, every outfit Toumaki wear in there are all canon, from anime or promos. The first few panels was really exciting because I had never painted so many with backgrounds before, I was really happy when I almost finished the first verse even compared to the full 3:50 of the song it was only 20 seconds and I thought maybe I can pull this after all. The last panel was intended to be Makichan standing infront of his house looking at the sky but I wanted to show the sky at the end of the panel and that wouldn't work on scroll-down post so I had to leave it for later, I repainted this panel for about 3 times and finished it just 30' before posting. The first panel of the second verse wasn't turning out alright too because that was my first time doing a 3 points perspective drawing and the colors didn't turn out as I wanted either (my intention was a green/gold dawn scene). Things kinda worked well despite that until the scene when Toudou sits in his ink, gdi I didn't know why I was so caught up in that and painted every piece of that wooden floor, it took me almost a week but turned out better than I expected so I was ok with it. I was going to make sketchy paintings for all of the panel but I did too much details on that one so it gave me the impression that I'll have to do just as much for every others. Now I still had school to go and that semester my uni got me pretty crappy schedule that made me have to wait for classes at school frequently, I was frustrated because I didn't get to paint during that time and I might finish it too late (even though I didn't set a deadline) and when I got home I just spent so much time checking twitter and just can't pick myself up to draw and ended up feeling shitty about it. *Side story*  I was so mad because I didn't get anything done and there's still more than half of the whole thing to do and the worst part is that I had no one that I can talk to because I didn't have any friend who ship Toumaki and I also don't want to publicly talk about what I was doing, I wanted to surprise people when I'm done, I didn't wanna give people the expectation then screw it up (I literally thought I'd drop a bomb not a grenade lmao) I can't remember how long was that shitty phase but I felt like it was so long, I barely finished verse 2 at that point. I was so mad at myself and my progress so I spent a few days to look at time management threads and this helped a lot, I changed my habits completely  by this and I still apply those methods now, like I used to stay up til 3am to read fics (bless you writers you fueled me with your writings bless you all) then I switch to bed before 12 and get up early for a good start or reduce working time while increasing quality* After that I kinda got things together,I just went ahead with painting tho it's still kinda tiring, I had to work on 5 essays during this time too. At this point I was like screw all, I give no shit about what everyone thinks I'm just gonna finish this and get some good nap (I practiced power nap to get more focus time for painting but dude everyone wants a good long nap) 10 days before uploading I found out that there's a Toumaki day (I'm so sorry), I was going to posted on the first sunday of June (I did researched on which was the best time to post on social medias so I randomly picked a sunday) and Toumaki day is the last sunday of May, that meant I had 10 days left and 15 panels to paint! I was going to ignore that but I already made it big I should make it right too so I shit my pants going through those last panels. I purposely hiding Toudou's face till the last verse to emphasize the feelz and got so relieved that I finally got to paint him (I read some tags that some viewers got emotional at this part so I'm so glad it worked). The whole things was put under Makichan's perspective so I was so sick of painting him at that point, he showed up in every panel and I can't paint him ugly because he's beautiful (especially his hair, I spent shitload of time painting them). I can talk lots about why I picked to do so but that's headcanon shit and it's embarrassing so let's just skip that. The last day I had only 3 panels left and I was hell confident that I've got this and somehow spent the whole evening rewatch Toumaki pingpong ep (end me). Of course that didn't end well, I managed to finish those by midnight but I still had like 3 panels that needed  repaint completely and all 43 needed retouch and edits. My plan was to post at 9am sunday (thats 9pm saturday est) so I had to get up at 5am and finish all that, I ended up cutting down 2 panels and simplified the instrumental panel (some tags said that was nice so I was at least relieved). Unlike other songs I did, the length of every line's quite different and the original sizes I did would make viewers have to scroll slower or faster at different parts. I didn't plan this beforehand and had to trim down some panels even the parts that I really liked and spent lots of time on. I also found out that people outside the homestuck fandom might not familiar with this type of post so I made a video too (I’m sorry I have zero skill in editing). After posting I was terrified of people's reactions or worse, there won't be any reaction so I turned everything off and went to sleep and woke up with an unimaginable number of notes I'd got, I set the target of 500 notes and I really didn't think that I'd get past that number like maybe 2-300 (well my other songs didnt even get 200), at the end I got 5000. I spent the next week reading and screencap tags given in reblogs, I put them on desktop and they're still my motivation til now. Vanilla Twilight is the thing I'm proud of the most even until now, when I've done other songs and projects that look somewhat better. If I have to recommend one thing on my blog I'd recommend it despite its' unskilled paneling, poor composition and muddy colors. It was the first time in my life that I'd put so much effort into something and went through such emotional roller coaster, the feelings I put into it was raw and the idea was very original compared to other songs, I improved and changed a lot during the 2 months I spent on it and never once regret doing it. ***Anyway, you sure have much free time to read it this far, here's a little game for you: I put random things in VT and HF like some characters/stuff from other series, my ocs,... (there wasn't anything purposeless in there even the logo on their cups or the bags they wear) just send me anything you find and I'll draw you something in return**

[5hfanfiction]

Too Close To Home - Chapter 8

“Thank you guys for making this happen, some of y'all have been with me since I was in a group called Fifth Harmony and for that, thank you. Thank you for riding this long ass ride with me. And for you guys who just started becoming a fan, thank you for thinking that I’m worth your time, you guys don’t know how much this means to me. Goodnight everybody, and as always, LOVE ONLY!!!” I shout to the audience for my debut tour in Miami. It’s a sold out show, which I have to admit, it was overwhelming- in the best way possible.

I thought that by starting a solo career, I had to actually start from scratch. I had a lot of harmonizers who turned against me for quitting the group but now that I’m here, it shows how I was actually underestimating my fans’ love. Some of them are actually wearing Fifth Harmony merchandise which I don’t consider it as rude really, I think it’s sweet that they stan both Fifth Harmony and me.

It is now late February of 2018 and I’ve actually released my very first album just a month ago. Now, singing to the 10k audience and them singing along shows just how loyal they are. My input on the songs increased drastically compared to the 7/27, so every song on the album is pretty personal. The fact that they’ve all listened to me and took the time to repeat them until they actually memorize the lyrics means a lot, and they are just a fraction of the whole world.

I head to the back stage, my adrenaline still rushing through my body because of the roaring fans. Compared to the tour with Fifth Harmony, this takes less energy as I didn’t dance to most of the songs. I do still dance thought, I don’t think I’m ready to actually stop, they’re quite addicting.

Ashlee, my current guitarist comes to the dressing room, asking me if I want to go celebrate for a successful start by a fancy dinner with some of the crews, in which I accept gratefully. It’s nice to feel included.

When Lauren and I broke up last two years, I became distant, since Lauren became closer to the crew and the girls. It was some sort of a silent agreement. But I didn’t mind. Instead, I put those extra time to more song writing and practicing playing the guitar with Ashlee. So in a way, Lauren helped me in making my album happen. She was also what inspired me to write, most of the songs I’ve written are about her.

I change my attire to a black dress, getting ready for the dinner. It was laced dress that was custom made just for me, so the dress pretty much hugs me at all the right places - including my butt. It was a late dinner considering we finished at 9 but I like food so I don’t really mind. Besides, I probably lost what I ate before the concert from my excessive sweating.

Ashlee and I rode a different car from the crews as we took more time to dress and reapplying my make up.

The restaurant was fancy, white and cream walls with dim yellow lighting. It was big and it is definitely the place you bring someone to on a date. The walls had expensive and expressive paintings, making it seem a bit pretentious but whatever. It was our very first concert so I think that’s why they kind of went overboard with the location.

I don’t mind but I wouldn’t oppose if it was at a pizza place. This place just means that I have to eat properly. And as much as I want to, I can’t, my uncoordinated hands forbid. I mean, take the picture where my food fell and Lauren laughed at it as an example. That was only one of the many.

As I walk out from the toilet after accidentally pouring my drink to my dress, I came to a halt. From my peripheral vision, I saw Lauren siting at the bar on the middle of the restaurant with Lucy.

This is their hometown and I know Fifth Harmony is on a short break this month, but what are the odds of actually bumping into them in one of the many restaurants in Miami?

I contemplated whether I should announce my presence or not. If I did, it could cause an awkward talk and I’m not the person you go to for those talks. But if I don’t, it would be deemed mean and quite arrogant. Besides, how many times can I actually bump into them? It’s an opportunity I had to take.

The girls and I talk every week now since the AMAs. Dinah has now become a huge part of my life yet again. We would prioritize each other for at least an hour every three days and we would talk about everything. She made time for me and I love her for it. Actually, if she wasn’t so busy with her family today, she would’ve visited me and watch me perform.

Ally and I had actually called each other before I performed a few hours ago. She called me to say goodluck and that she was happy for me. It was a sweet gesture and I was surprised how she was so accepting.

For Normani, it was still a bit awkward but it wasn’t because of jealousy or grudges, it was simply because she was always closer to Lauren than me. Which I’m fine with honestly, at least Lauren still has someone to talk to, just like how I have Dinah.

Lauren and I still haven’t talked alone after the dinner 3 months ago. We talk but it’s usually when I’m skyping with the girls, she would pass by and greet me or some sort. I’m actually better now than last year, every grudge I held against Lauren evaporated as time passed by. Now, I don’t think I would mind if I were to see Lauren and Lucy together. Don’t get me wrong, she’s was my first love so I don’t think I can ever not get some type of reaction but it has gotten better than last year. I feel like once Ashlee actually told me that I still loved Lauren, I became more aware and I’ve been dealing with it. Before that, I think I was just running away from my problems- ironically enough, just like she had. I never dealt with it head-on, I just hid it inside a box at the corner of my mind and just repressed it. I became numb and I got used to it to the fact that I didn’t even realize what I was doing.

That’s why now that I look at them at the bar, I had no feeling of longing or envy. I’m genuinely happy for them, the risk they took to be together was massive and yet, they still took it. I mean, if they were to break up, it could not only kill their relationship but their friendship too. When Lauren and I broke up, we didn’t even talk at all, Lucy’s been friends with Lauren for more than 10 years, so it might hurt more.

I walk towards them and since they haven’t see me, I greeted them with a “boo” from behind that startled the both of them. I laugh at myself because come on, that is funny.

They look at me with wide smiles that actually reach their respective eyes. Lauren was wearing a similar dress like mine, a black one but instead of  crew neck, it was v cut, showing her front asset nicely. Lucy was wearing a white dress that flowed to her foot. Each of them had the same taste in outfits but Lauren likes darker colors - as per usual.

“Hi,” I announce, hugging both of them at the same time as they stood up out of courtesy.

“Hey! What are you doing here?” Lucy asks first, her smile still attached to her face.

“I’m actually celebrating for my first ever concert, what about you guys?” I asks, genuinely curious. This place looks so fancy that I doubt they would actually frequent here.

“Oh, we made a pact to have a fancy ass dinner once in a month. Today is one of the days, Now that we’re adults, we are always busy so this is the only time we both have.”

“Oh damn, I was gonna ask you guys to join us but it looks like you guys have better things to do. I’m not one to disturb a romantic dinner date,” I say.

“Actually, if we could, we would like to join. We were actually waiting for a free table for forever and since it’s a bit late already,” Lucy says, whispering, “Lauren’s fault,” then continuing, “we would actually love to eat here, Im famished.” Lauren just nodded happily, making me laugh at her cute antics. That’s not weird, right?

“Of course, we haven’t actually ordered food yet.”

I walk towards the table with them trailing behind. Luckily, there were two vacant seats beside me so I don’t have to awkwardly ask for 2 chairs and squish together.

They greeted everyone with a hello and a smile and sat down, Lauren beside me and Lucy in front of Lauren. Ashlee was infront of me so the rest of the crew were on the other side.

The waiter came a few minutes later, writing our orders of 8 people. Some of the crew couldn’t come because they were too tired from a long day of working. I couldn’t really blame them, they’re gonna actually bring down everything and put them in the trucks for my next concert two days from now.

The guys talked amongst themselves while Ashlee, Lauren, Lucy and I caught up with each others’ lives. Lucy has a stable modeling career, this is her only break from a demanding job. Lauren has a short break, that’s why she’s back in Miami with her family. Next week, she has to go back to LA to begin recording their new album - one as a four piece group.

I stepped back from the group more than a year ago, but they weren’t really focused on new music after I left. They were more focused on stabilizing everything, like continuing the 7/27 tour in Asia and recording the songs on both Reflection and 7/27 albums, but this time, replacing my vocals equally to the girls.

At least people are happier now that Lauren has more solos. She deserves it.

I didn’t mind it as much anymore. When they performed Work From Home without me, I was a bit sad because well, they’re replacing me.

But as time passed, I realized that it was a bit selfish of me to feel so. It was my choice to leave, why should they hold on to me? The world doesn’t revolve around me, they can do whatever they want.

As I realize that, I got more accepting and I begin feeling happier. The talk I had with Lauren made me realize that I should move on. The talk I had with Lucy made me realize that I shouldn’t hate her based on my biased feelings. Basically, the whole thing that happened last year made me a better person in a really long time, and it was only a few months ago.

I felt like I was quite self-absorbed at first. When I was still in Fifth Harmony, I actually created a song with Shawn that boosted my career. The fans and people begin to look at me as the leader of the group and it was just wrong.

I never wanted that but I didn’t think of the consequences of it. I was just too entranced in making a song I could create myself and it kind of took a toll on the other girls. The group lost its name in a way. We weren’t as united as we were before. People treated me differently than they would at the other girls. People outside the fandom knew my name while they just called the other girls members of Fifth Harmony. It was simply unfair and I didn’t realize it sooner.

The fact that I quit the group was also a bit of a selfish act. I wasn’t thinking of how it might affect the group, I was too busy trying to make a name for myself that I forgot how the others feel. Yes, I told them about it earlier but it was more of a statement than a discussion. I simply told them that I was quitting and I ended at that. They had no say whatsoever, not that I was willing to hear at that time anyway.

I’m glad that they don’t hate me now. Because now that I’m alone for a year now, I’ve come to realize that friendship matters.

I’m still friends with Taylor and her crew, but they were kind of more focused making a name for themselves that we barely have time. Taylor is a really famous singer and the public demands a lot of her time. The other girls simply has either modeling careers or singing careers, so they don’t have time either. It’s so ironic because it was basically what I did back then, I was too busy that I sort of ignored the other girls.

“So, Camila, how was the concert?” Lauren asks, her eyes full of curiosity and some sort of fondness, making my heart swell - not in a romantic way, a friendly way I think.

I start talking about my songs and how the fans reacted to them, how the fans clapping and cheering relaxed any type of anxiety that was building at first, how happy I truly was at the stage.

She knows I was unhappy performing when I was at Fifth Harmony. I lost sleep and any type of energy because I brought everything with me at the tour. It killed me emotionally and mentally and Lauren knew it, even if we broke up. She was also quite unhappy, simply because of the hours they took from us. The amount of dance routine we had to perfect and the amount of vocal practices that only destroyed our voices. That’s why Lauren smokes, it’s some sort of rebellion against the label.

“I’m gonna hit the ladies room for a minute,” Lucy announced after I finished talking, standing up and giving Lauren a peck before walking to the toilet.

“Actually, me too,” Ashlee says, giving me a mischievous wink before walking behind Lucy, leaving Lauren and I in an awkward position.

“So…” I start, not knowing what to say.

“What’s up?”

“Still up for that friend deal?” I say with a shy smile, my hands now twisted together under the table. It’s so weird to say that head on but what else can I say.

“Of course,” she smiles, looking into my eyes with such intensity, “friends.”

“Since we’re friends, I have a question, remember during the AMAs backstage when you wanted to say something but decided not to? What did you want to say?” I ask. It’s been on my mind for quite some time but I shoved it aside since it wasn’t really a priority at that time.

“Oh yeah, didn’t think you’d remember that,” she says, nervously. Unfortunately, the girls came back so Lauren just whispers, “some other time.”

We all talk for a bit more and when the clock struck 11pm, we realized that we stayed a tad bit longer than expected.

I, of course, offered to pay for everyone’s meal since this is a celebration for my tour. The 4 crew members bid their goodbyes and went their way, leaving the two Ls, Ashlee and I outside of the restaurant.

“So, Lauren, when are we gonna be in the same state again?” Ashlee asks.

“I’m not sure, unless you guys have a concert in LA soon, then yeah.”

“Oh actually, we have it during Mimi’s birthday so are you guys going to be there? We could celebrate her birthday with you guys.”

“Hey,” I interrupt, “Im right her you know.”

Lauren ignored me and said, “Yeah, we’re probably gonna be there.”

“Lucy?”

“I have a photo session there on March so I think so,” she states while smiling.

Ashlee looks at me and says, “Alright then, Mila, we’re gonna celebrate you birthday with the girls,” a short break before continuing, “no buts.”

I just nodded, I didn’t mind hanging with them so why not?

After a few minutes of talking, a car passed through, the music blaring through to our ears. What’s special about it was that it was a song I indirectly sang to Lauren last year - Say You Won’t Let Go.

I watch Lauren’s reaction. She was looking down and staring down, making me know that she’s now in deep thoughts.

…

“Camila, what song do you wanna cover for our BBC Live Lounge?” Kelly ask while getting ready.

We have about 5 hours to think and rehearse our songs and we don’t even know what to perform. But BBC Live Lounge is always like that, they ask you to perform one of your songs and cover another.

I think back to the songs I’ve listened to the past week, deciding that Run Up by Major Lazer is quite hard to cover.

I kind of want a song that’s quite personal and touching. But I can’t perform the songs I’ve written yet, it’s not possible.

I look through my music on my phone and came across one of the songs I’ve been literally obsessed, Say You Won’t Let Go by James Arthur.

It was a really sweet song and it reminds me of Lauren a lot, so I can’t help but choose this one. It was released back in September and the first time I heard it, I got emotional.

Lauren and I weren’t to together at that time but I’ve listened to it, hoping she wouldn’t let go of what we had. It was like a hope song. It was before I knew she was with Lucy. Now I just feel dumb for thinking about it.

“How about this?” I show my phone to Kelly.

“I don’t mind, but I’m a rapper, I can’t exactly sing,” he says sheepishly. I’ve actually grown fond of him and he’s pretty cool to hang with.

“Why don’t we change the second verse to a rap verse? You’re great at making lyrics on the spot. We have 5 hours to kill anyway, I’ll help.”

Since I’ve listened to this song a million times already, I don’t really need to memorize the lyrics. 

We both decided on his verse together for about 2 hours, completely content with what we’ve done at the end.

Next was the music, it was basic at some parts but a bit upbeat towards the end. Since the band were professionals, it wasn’t as hard to direct how the music should go.

This is seriously gonna hit Lauren hard. I’m sure she knows this song about her because seriously, how subtle can I be? I’m also wearing a pants that has a rose on it. A simple yet clear way of showing this is for her. On top of that, I just posted a picture of the roses on instagram saying, “For you… 🌹”

But it’s subtle enough because my fans might think it’s for them. So yeah, go me.

As we sang through the song, I got emotional yet again and pretty much closed my eyes the whole time, knowing that if I open them, they could see my eyes pouring down. My voice sounded raw and if you listen to it properly, you could hear how my voice is breaking, making it obvious that I’m crying a bit.

This is what I know for sure, if Lauren hasn’t let it go, I won’t.

But unfortunately, a few days later, Lauren had announced her engagement with Lucy, crushing any type of hope I have, embarrassing me for what I’ve said passively to her.

What killed me more was that I heard that Lauren was the one who proposed.