#im going to reblog this tomorrow because everyone is ASLEEP?

[vamplour]

for once, I couldn't pass this up ...

[weirdmageddon]

💿⚛️ davejade headcanons

sorry for leaving you guys waiting on this for like a week lol i kept being like “tomorrow for sure” but falling asleep but anyway here it is. i might add more to this if i think if anything but reblogs might not reflect the up to date source version so you can always find it here

most of these are pointing out stuff thats basically canon anyway but whatever lol. basically canon headcanons

dave tries to impress jade to get her attention because he likes her

this ones for you *misses hoop by 5 feet*

he doesnt mind jade’s inane riddles honestly. he isn’t perturbed by how she just knows things like rose is, because he doesnt think into it too far. he trusts her

he spends a lot of time indulging in her interests and showers her in his music and poetry

they draw things for each other a lot <3 jade has the pictionary modus and seems pretty good at drawing and of course dave sent her sbahj as furries in the mail. sending jpegs over the internet is BABY NONSENSE. real boys send their childhood friend/crush pictures they drew for them through the INTERNATIONAL POSTAL SYSTEM to an unspecified island in the middle of nowhere, pacific ocean that gets packages dropped by plane so the recipient can tangibly hold it and hang it in their room

actually i was going through the commentary and hussie addresses it as such:

“Also notice her SBaHJ furry poster, which was clearly a very thoughtful gift from Dave”

aww

jade would give dave a "cool" plushie of a tiger or something nd he keeps it on his desk . froot’s beautiful idea

he loves her plushie sensibilities. so much less unnerving than his bro’s phallic puppets. they're still soft but no cognitive dissonance this time about the softness coming from foam puppet ass hoorayyy

theyre still reading homestuck on act 4 but they understood them instantly

jade humors dave’s ironic cool facade because it makes dave feel more comfortable without feeling too exposed, but it’s because of this that he feels like he can open up to her because she isnt prying. (im still not over the smile here btw. only jade could make dave smile after a fucked evening where he spilled juice on his turntables and accidentally skewered an innocent crow with his sword and broke his window this mf is TYPING. also getting a bit of joy out of the fact that the only visible suit on his cards-themed bedcover in this panel is a heart)

but he knows that jade is not unaware of what he's hiding. couldnt even refute her lol

from the knight’s perspective, it’s “i’m not as [blank] as i appear. i want you know that about me if i know you well and trust you, or i DON’T want you to know that about me if i DON’T know you well. the reason is that i want to know that i can trust you to avoid turning my insecurity into a Whole Thing”

basically she allows dave to take initiative when HE feels comfortable and confident in sharing the things he’s self-conscious about. this really helps him be comfortable and form a strong bond with her

dave would wrap his arms around her to “ironically” imitate a pair of tangle buddy squiddles (while actually concealing genuine affection basically unbeknownst to himself) but he winds up looking just a little too into it for just an “ironic” bit yall……

jade is slower to realize her deeper feelings since she shows love to everyone (so long as theyre deserving of it!!!) it just hits her one day that she actually Likes him in a special way, while for dave it is more dynamic and gradual but very on the downlow, expressed in creative acts and services

once dave actually recognizes he’s really caught feelings for her down the line, dave and jade happily do the tangle buddies hug all the time. its like their handshake. its their weird couple thing

these two when together as a unit they do not give a shit about what other people think of them

this shit lol:

Creative Fucking Powerhouse the two of them

davejade ass song to me

jade is quite spacey and super appreciates dave’s level-headedness and steady pragmatism while at the same time not being a rigid stick in the mud about it. for example when they were acting as each others’ server players dave was advising her but it was appreciated by jade

sorry its just literally socionics duality LITERALLY THIS IS THEMMM (also i spent WAY too much time making these graphics and integrating texts from multiple sources please appreciate it)

fittingly with that, as ouroborista writes about the opposite space-time aspect dichotomy,

Space and Time are the fundamental Aspect pair. Their job is to make shit take place. To create novelty. Between them they span not only all of existence but also the inseparable twin approaches of any creative project. Space goes for breadth, for ideas, for expansive, holistic input, while Time goes for needlepoint focus and a rapid-turnover ability to pull through on the prompt. There’s a reason why these are the two Aspects necessary for any successful session of SBURB.

jade is literally always having a little giggle about him. dave is a funny guy. lame court jester ass boyfriend

he’d draw his post-ironic fursona and show it to her with the usual deadpan expression on his face, eyes obscured by his shades. but jade will look at it and when he sees her smile and laugh it makes it all worth it. his cheeks feel warm and he’ll smile slightly like “heh heh”. dave the type to smile like an idiot over anything jade does like his mouth keeps making a thin line and hes trying to fight it but . Jade

dave thought jade looked absolutely stunning in her 3 in the morning dress his mouth probably stupidly hung open the tiniest amount seeing her after swapping into it

of course she only wears it for what she considers "very special occasions"…..spending time with dave seemed to be a very special occasion :)

jade think dave looks sharp in his suits!!

imagine jade adjusting daves crooked bowtie and lapel and his palms start to sweat and he darts his eyes from behind his shades and chews the inside of his cheek she making him nervous bro 💯

jade is definitely the teaser and dave is the teased. still i dont think jade teases dave as much as john and rose which is why he feels more comfortable opening up to her about his shit. her teasings are much lighter and inconsequential

despite how funny and informal he is dave is a classy well-put-together romantic. he is responsible and harmonious in how he choses to present himself. remember when he got secondhand embarrassment from rose when she was drunk before her date with kanaya and he suggested to her and kanaya that the two reschedule? … he’d NEVER do something like that. sober. suit is ON. hair is neatly combed. he is right on time, not too early not too late, and his first words are “yo whats up”

dave has this designated driver energy about him

after dogtiering jade’s dog ears can perk and flatten, adding even more expressiveness

jade has so many hobbies and interests i think she’d get dave into horticulture somehow unironically

theyre both the kinda mf to ask “would you still love me if i were a worm”

dave’s hands are warm

jade’s skin can be cool to the touch in some places like the back of her arms or shoulders and dave places his hands there to warm them. or by rubbing them or something

idk just some associations space is cool and time is warm to me. the vaccuum of space is cold and time is associated with gears which are associated with generating heat and dave’s classical element is fire and jade’s is earth and her planet is initially covered in snow and daves is covered in lava idk…. just makes symbolic sense i guess but its also cute in its own right

dave would love going to the beach with jade on earth c cause the ocean is so boob i mean boob i mean boob i m,ean boob i mean SHIT . blue. blue

this Fucking animation bro

she infodumps about science and he sits his ass down to listen

jade does this (excuse the fact that the url is roselalonde)

[lizard-shifter-noms]

Wayward Waters Chapter 4

——————————————————————————

Hello everyone! Chapter 4!

time to explore more of the world!

this Story contains Vore, Dont like dont read.

have fun reading!

and as always Reblogs are appreciated! (Also ASK’s are open so feel free to bother me!)

AO3 Link for those that prefer the layout there;

AO3 Wayward waters

——————————————————————————

Since I was on a boat where one resident was almost directly above me and would complain if I woke them up I opted to just not sleep this night.

If Rikaad could do it, so could i!

Right?

Wrong.

My head kept drooping and I jolted awake from the lightest of slumbers a lot and I was sure I'd feel miserable for it tomorrow.

But I wasn't keen on having nightmares again, or having Jamie kick my face for disturbing them.

“Fwiiiiih?”

My head turned to the source of the whistling sound.

Imugi had put her head over the edge of the boat and was staring at me.

I stared back and neither of us moved.

“It's dark, shouldn't you sleep?”

Imugi just clicked in response and I wondered why the hell I was talking to a sea monster who couldn't even respond.

I let my head fall back onto the deck with a flump sound.

Imugi immediately began poking me with her beak a few times before somehow scaling the boat a little more and using me as a pillow.

Well, this was worse.

Now I had a big scaly wet creature laying on top of me that smelled of fish.

Fuck this.

At least with Imugi there it was less likely that I would fall off in my sleep.

So despite not wanting to, I succumbed to sleep.

While i didn't have nightmares per say i did dream of an island entirely made out of fish.

Upon waking I blamed Imugi for what little I remembered of the dream.

Then someone threw a piece of bread at me which Imugi immediately snapped away and dived back under water.

“Got used as a pillow?”

Came the smug voice from the bird legged maniac.

“Not the first time, but definitely the worst, now i smell like fish”

They laughed again and the noise drew the other Crewmemebers on deck.

I could see that both Imik and Ronan were still incredibly sleepy and Akeem was just… there.

Maybe we could get a move on today? They said they'd help me yes but they weren't fast at anything really.

So if this continued we'd take like a month before we hit land or something.

Half asleep they went to their places on the ship and set sail again, At least today it had wind so we might be faster today.

I stared blankly ahead while the boat went forward, not really registering the seawater that swapped against my side.

I still felt awful, which was partly the fault of sleep deprivation and partly because I just felt achy all over in a weird way.

On top of that having a double heartbeat was confusing as fuck but i slowly got used to it at least.

“Are you alright?”

I nearly jumped off the boat at the voice that came out of nowhere in such close proximity.

Looking over I saw Akeem again.

I sighed.

“Im fine, the double heartbeat is a bit strange still, aside from that i wish we could go faster than this but i'm pretty sure none of you can control the wind”

Akeem just nodded at that.

If you're feeling restless we will come by an island soon and stop there for a few hours so you can stretch your legs. Ronan needs to go there because he forgot his measuring rope after we found some saltwater electric eel”

I let my forehead collide with the wooden floor.

“Yeah, sure, land sounds nice even if only for a short while”

While I wanted to go back to Rikaad and Robin as fast as possible, stretching my legs did sound nice.

Besides I had no say on what to do on this boat so whatever.

I lay there while Imugi towed the ship with the help of the wind.

As far as i could see Ronan was at the steering wheel and Imik was doing whatever with some ropes and the sail.

Where Akeem was I couldn't tell and Jamie was of course up in the nest.

At some point Akeem walked out of the boat onto the deck and swapped with Imik who was sweating at this point.

Well, whatever it was called he did with the sail it hadn't looked easy.

He went near the stairs on my side of the ship and crossed his legs to sit on the last step.

He also made what looked to be breathing exercises that made no sense to me.

For instance he slowed his breathing before stopping completely.

I watched for a minute or so wondering what kind of weirdass breathing exercise had you hold your breath.

Then I watched five more minutes, which bled into six, seven, eight.

I began to get concerned, he wasn't keeling over or anything but he also wasn't breathing and I doubted the gills did anything outside of the water.

Also his chest wasn't moving with the intake of air either.

I tentatively reached out a paw and poked his leg.

“Hey?”

He opened his eyes and started breathing again.

“Hm? What is it?”

He didn't seem any worse for the wear which I found strange.

“You weren't breathing for like, ten minutes? Are you okay?”

He blinked and then smiled.

“Ohh that! Don't worry about it! I was practicing Apnea diving!”

He was what?

“What is Apo diving? And how does that mean you don't breathe?”

“Apnea diving! Not Apo diving!

And it's technically the art of diving really deep! Basically you calm down and slow your heartbeat, then you breathe in as deeply as you can to get the most air you can and then you go dive like that for up to half an hour! 

The record i saw for that was like two hours though i don't think the guy was mammalian”

That sounded interesting, so basically it was just how to really effectively hold your breath and dive deep into the water.

“Holding your breath for really long sounds nice, wait what would YOU need that for? You have gills?”

He looked surprised for a second and even touched the scale covered gills on his neck.

“Well, as you can tell I'm some sort of Merling, but for the gills to work the water has to have oxygen in it or else I will suffocate just the same.

There are places like underwater caves that don't have enough oxygen for me and so I learned how to Apnea dive!

So now I can go to places I normally couldn't, and I'll tell you it's great for looking into shipwrecks and finding treasure!”

I snorted a laugh.

“Well if you put it like that it sounds pretty great!”

“Yeah! You want me to teach you?”

I almost choked on nothing, he wanted to tell me how to dive like him? And hold my breath for a stupidly long amount of time?

Well, there was nothing else to do and being able to hold my breath for over ten minutes sounded rather appealing.

“Really? You'd do that? It would be cool to be able to do that, also not like i have anything else to do here anyway”

He smiled, which showed a mouth full of sharp and shark-like teeth.

Well, I had seen weirder.

“Really? None of the others wanted to learn, well Ronan did but I'm not THAT dumb, he'd probably forget how deep down he is and drown, or mess with something that can bite his arm off.

Also Akeem doesn't breathe at all so its kinda useless to teach him, i don't think he even HAS lungs”

Yeah that checked out, Jamie seemed to never get out of that blue sweater and diving with that on didn't seem like a good idea.

As Imik had said Ronan was a dumbass that couldn't link consequences to his actions and Akeem apparently didn't even HAVE lungs.

“Well, I have lungs, and a brain, oh and time it looks like, so sure! Might be useful one day! And if not i can win bets by holding my breath longer than everyone else”

Imik laughed at the added part about bets.

“Ha! I gotta remember to bet on holding my breath sometime! What a good idea!

Now then do you know how to meditate?

If not just try to calm ALL the way down and feel your heartbeat, err, HeartbeatS slow down as much as possible, try to breathe as deep and slow as you can.

Y’know Introspection stuff”

While I had no idea what introspection meant I could do the other ones.

Which I did over the course of the next two hours with Imiks help.

The learning session was then interrupted by Jamies shouting.

“LAND! STEER LEFT YOU FUCKER!”

I stared up at the nest with a rather grumpy expression, that loud shout had startled me! And ruined the calm thing I had going on!

Even Imik didn't look happy about it, but hey land meant i could maybe stretch my legs.

“Well, i better go to the wheel before Ronan tries to park the boat again, last time didn't go over well”

He dipped before I could ask what the hell he meant by that, What did Ronan do?

It was only twenty more minutes before I could see the island as well.

It didn't look all that big, I could probably run around the entire of it in ten minutes as an Ardua but it had grass and flowers and there even was a little stream of water.

Water… huh i hadn't really realized that i had gotten dehydrated but then again these guys only seemed to eat sandwiches and nothing else.

At least it wasn't hardtack.

The ship anchored close to a boulder that towered over the water and even went up to the side of the boat.

Perfect! That meant I wouldn't have to swim!

It took one little leap and dry land was finally under my feet again!

I didn't even bother trying to stand and just rolled down the slope into some grass.

Having spent so long on a ship suddenly it felt like the ground was swaying when it wasn't.

So I was just laying there in the grass and enjoying being able to stretch out until the swaying feeling stopped.

As soon as the swaying stopped enough for me not to stumble I went over to the stream to drink.

“WAIT-!”

But I had already drank from the stream, and then spat the water back out as I tasted salt.

“Eurch-”

I started coughing and spit the last of the water back out.

“Dumbass! Don't drink from random streams! What if there's something dead in it further up?”

I glared at Jamie who was cursing loudly again and basically insulting me with swears I had never heard before.

“How the fuck was i supposed to know that this is saltwater?”

“ASK FIRST? DON'T DRINK RANDOM WATER?”

They had come close and squared up in front of me with their arms angled to their body to appear bigger.

It didn't work and only summoned the image of an angry chicken in my mind.

I bapped them lightly with a paw.

“Oh shut up you overgrown chicken”

They stopped cursing for a moment and I worried it had actually upset them, but then they started laughing.

“Ha! Overgrown chicken! Finally something creative!”

Well, not what I expected.

Better than upset though.

“Hey! Hey, if you're calling me an overgrown chicken I'll call you a kitty cat!”

I just looked deadpan at them, well,  my own fault really so I'd bear with it.

“Donovan! This one has drinking water!”

I looked over to Imik and Akeem who pointed at another little stream hidden by some bushes.

Finally!

I went over at what was just normal walking speed to me but probably sprinting for the smaller sized folk.

This time I smelled the water before drinking it and then just stuck my entire head in to drink.

Yeah this one was freshwater and not saltwater, way better.

I drank greedily and heard the Boat crew members squabble with each other about forgetting water, apparently again?

Man did these guys even know what they were doing?

I could also hear Jamie attack Ronan's shins again.

“The guy is like half plant! How the FUCK could we forget water?”

Then they started fighting, well play fighting, probably.

I ignored it and just drank as much as I could without throwing up later.

By the time I put my head up again Ronan and Imik had walked a good bit into the island itself to some jagged looking rocks.

Jamie was halfway there thanks to their short legs and Akeem had been nice enough to wait for me.

Well, time to look at what the hell they were going towards to.

Clambering after Akeem over some rocks I could see an enclosed lake that strangely enough still smelled of saltwater.

Ronan was already on the shore and Jamie was doing something else and inspecting the cracked rocks.

Imik was busy rolling up an extremely long rope that had knots in intervals, probably the mentioned measurement rope.

Well, the place looked interesting, though the water was pretty dark so I couldn't see what was in it.

I partly blamed the shadows of the jagged rocks for it.

I had to tread carefully as the stones underneath me were sharp but I made it to the little ‘shore’ of the lake.

Really it was just a sandbank barely twice my size and Ronan was already further away back on some rocks.

Then he slipped and fell into the water.

At first I thought nothing of it but the horrified shouts of the others and weird writhing masses of black that seemed to swarm him told me he should get out as soon as possible.

Without thinking I lunged over the sharp rocks, cutting my right palm in the process and yanked him out with a claw, which tingled strangely as it made contact with one of the creatures.

I went backwards and placed him on the coarse sand of the little shore.

He wasn't moving.

He wasn't breathing either.

Oh no.

Imik ran a little way over to us and immediately put his ear against Ronan’s chest to listen for signs of life.

Apparently hearing nothing he started to do chest compressions.

He did that for a full minute and I was sure I heard one of the rips crack a little but then Ronan began coughing.

He tried to roll to his side with a wince but Imik held him where he was.

“YOU IDIOT!”

He nearly sobbed and rested his head on Ronan's Collarbone. 

The other two crewmembers were also not far and Akeem had to hold Jamie back from throttling Ronan.

Ronan was just weakly groaning.

“Ouwh, everything hurts, please get off”

They all sprung up and off of him, though Imik still held him down where he was.

“Please never do that again!”

They all fussed over him, rightfully so, and told him to stay put for now.

Jamie threatened to break his legs if he moved and I supposed that was their way of saying they cared, weird as it was.

Akeem inspected his limbs where the exposed skin had weird bite marks that looked almost like burns.

I kept away a bit, not wanting to intrude, Besides, I had no idea what to do.

Looking at the scene and how they fussed made me miss my friends even more, but for now I couldn't go to them.

Jamie was sent to find the first aid kit on the ship and prepare a space for him.

They climbed the jagged rocks at an insane speed.

Well, smaller legs and clawed feet had an advantage here.

Then Akeem came up to me, as calm as ever even if I could detect a lot of worry in his voice.

“Donovan? Can you help us? I don't think we can move him properly without risking further injury”

I nodded, they were helping me get home, albeit slowly, so the least I could do was help them now.

“Of course, maybe you can get him on my back? I could climb the rocks if one of you helps hold him in place?”

I wasn't exactly sure how steady that would be but better, and faster, than having them drag him the normal way.

They both nodded and I made myself as close to the ground as possible while Akeem climbed up first and then they tried to figure out how to get Ronan up as well.

Somehow every idea they came up with would just jostle him and just reaching him up to Akeem wasn't working either.

Great, and in this form i didn't have thumbs so i couldn't really help either.

But…

My other forms did.

Should i?

Ronan needed help and they couldn't give him proper care if he was next to the lake.

They had been nice, if chaotic, thus far and my Help was needed.

Ugh I had to shift, didn't i?

“Akeem? Can you get off for a moment?”

The man nodded and then slid down to the ground again, his body had been weirdly heavy but then again he seemed to be made out of stone.

I decided not to think about that.

“Okay i have an idea, just don't freak out”

They looked at me curiously and i went a few steps away, well as much as one could in the small space and i sure as fuck was not going to stand in the water.

While they glanced back at Ronan who was unconscious again I twisted the Gem on my bracelet and grew into a Giant for the first time in what felt like forever.

“HOOO FUCK DUDE!”

Oop, it seemed like I had startled them. 

Well Imik at least, Akeem was still as calm as ice.

“Yeah yeah Giant blah blah can we skip this for now? 

Like this i have hands and can just pick him up, probably easier and faster than having you try to drag him out of this eel pit”

While Imik was stuttering confusedly, Akeem took charge.

“Of course, but please be careful, we don't know how much damage he took exactly”

I leaned down and carefully used my left hand to scoop the unresponsive Ronan up,  together with a handful of sand that I let trickle out between my fingers.

Doing that left handed was not as easy as right handed but there was still the gash from one of the sharp rocks and I was pretty sure Ronan wouldn't appreciate being soaked in the blood of someone else.

I doubted anybody would.

I then let the smaller two lead the way and very carefully climbed over the stone after them.

I glanced at the limp body in my hand, This felt wrong, like holding a corpse.

Well, he had been maybe a minute away from actually being one if Imik hadn't stepped in.

I shuddered at the thought and continued to climb over the highest point of the rock formations.

Climbing down to the grassy field was at least easier now that I had longer legs.

We headed right for the ship and even before reaching it i could hear Imugi’s frantic clicking and whistling.

Oh, she must know something was up.

I used my other hand which at least had stopped bleeding to shield Ronan from her sight.

Having her freak out even more would probably be bad.

While the smaller men hopped aboard I sat on my knees and leaned over the water to get Ronan on deck without jostling him too much.

They disappeared for a few seconds inside the boat and then came back with what looked like a long table covered in white cloth.

And Jamie in tow.

Who froze as they saw me.

Fuck, we hadn't told them, how could we have? They went ahead and missed me shifting.

“You're even uglier now, at least the cat thing was fluffy”

Oh looked like one of the other ones had told them I had shifted, though it couldn't have been more than a few words about it.

Also, insults again? And with no hesitation no less.

I stared at Jamie while the other two brought Ronan inside to tend to him properly.

“Well, guess I shaved?”

Silence for a moment and then Jamie puffed out their cheeks before sputtering out a laugh.

“I'll give it to you, you got some funny jokes, i'll ask questions later for now Ronan needs help, again, he's a dumbass if you couldn't tell”

With that they disappeared inside as well, leaving me alone.

Should I shift human? That way I could follow them, but I wasn't yet entirely sure if I trusted them with that.

Also I wasn't keen on one of them stealing my Bracelet.

“Fwiihh..?”

IMUGI! Oh no we had forgotten about her.

She was half beached rather close to me and now I saw she could push herself up on those flippers a little and go over land as well.

For how long though? Would she dry out?

She was making sad noises, some of which sounded like she was calling for Ronan almost.

I shuffled down the boulder and sat next to her, tentatively holding out a hand.

She bonked it with her head which reminded me a little of Gloxinia, the cat that lived at the castle.

Not knowing what else to do as i had no medical knowledge and would probably just be in the way i pet Imugi’s head in an attempt to calm her down.

Having a freaked out sea serpent didn't sound exactly useful.

She clicked sadly and put her head on my lap with a long whistle that reminded me of a sigh.

The water she was covered in soaked the front of my shirt but I ignored it, instead continuing to pet the upset Serpent.

Her skin was strangely smooth and rough at the same time, well depending in which direction I pet at least.

That didn't help the mental image of a scaly cat any.

I periodically glanced over at the boat to see if anyone would come out but so far nothing had happened that I could see.

I hoped Ronan would be alright, that had looked nasty and I wasn't even sure what had happened.

Wait, the Eels! Electric eels! The writhing things had been electric eels!

Oh god and he'd been shocked by at least twenty of them at once.

I glanced at the boat again, hoping not too much damage had been done to his nerves and that he'd recover quickly.

Then the door to the inside opened and I could see Akeem scruffing Jamie and setting them down in front of the door before closing it again.

They turned to the door and I was pretty sure threw some insults at whoever heard them before walking off the boat and grumpily wandering through the grass.

They were clearly upset. 

I could tell that even from this far away.

Imugi clicked at me and I realized I had stopped petting her so I resumed doing just that.

“At least you seem better”

She clicked again at me and bonked her head against my chest.

It was only then that I realized I had been petting a LITERAL SEA SERPENT for the past two hours.

Well, that certainly would be a story to tell later.

Jamie then saw us and drew closer to us, still looking unhappy.

Upon getting close Imugi let out some sounds that sounded almost like two Chirps before moving her head off of me.

And surprisingly Jamie chirped back something that was clearly a not enthusiastic greeting.

“Yo big guy, They kicked me out because apparently i'm too loud so i'm hanging with you dumbasses for now”

Too loud? Well I could Picture them hurling Insults at about everything and thus distracting the other two.

At least Imugi moved off of my lap now, instead opting to shove her face into Jamie.

They just sat down where they were looking pretty drained.

Yeah, if that happened to one of my friends I wouldn't fare any better.

“You okay? And is Ronan okay?”

They tiredly looked up at me from where Imugi had shoved them into the ground.

“He’ll live, it's not the first time he got injured, but electric eels are new.

One time he wanted me to shoot him out of the board cannon but Akeem tied him to the mast until he could say WHY that was a bad idea.

Took him six hours to come up with an answer that wasn't just  ‘but it'll be awesome!’

He somehow the smartest AND Dumbest person i've ever met in one, no idea how that's possible though”

Smartest and dumbest person in one huh?

Well, even i could tell that getting shot out of a cannon is a bad idea.

“Six hours? That long? Well as far as i know he also just kept Imugi, who is a Sea serpent, so i think he might just lack a survival instinct”

They let out an amused huff.

“I suppose, he's always been like that, even the day i met him he just jumped into the water, which at the time was not safe at all”

Ronan really seemed to lack self preservation then, huh.

“How did you meet? If you don't  mind me asking?"

They blinked for a moment, probably not expecting that question, but I was kinda curious, also keeping their mind off of whatever happened on the ship seemed like a good idea.

They sat up halfway and then flopped back on the ground as Imugi used them as a Pillow.

“Well, that was, uhh about two years ago? I think? I was on a smaller ship to go from one island to another, and then these fuckers decided to rob me and trow me to the dolphins!”

“Dolphins? I think you mean sharks, right?"

They looked at me like I was a moron.

“No, Dolphins, not sharks. 

With sharks I can deal, they're idiot water puppies, but dolphins? They Are intelligent and sometimes drown swimmers for fun, also did you know that they get high off of pufferfish?

They are mean as fuck and sometimes downright malicious!”

Well, I certainly hadn't known that.

“Oh, well that's new information to me"

They rolled their eyes annoyedly.

“yeah yeah, i suggest staying away from them, even Imugi is afraid of them”

I looked over at the serpent who currently looked at Jamie like a loyal dog would.

“Oh, wait why?”

They patted Imugi’s head gently.

“Dolphins tend to gang up on larger sea life and poke their sensitive and weaker organs until they stop working, so yeah Imugi has a right to be afraid”

Dolphins were a lot more terrifying than I had thought.

“I don't think i like Dolphins anymore" They nodded sharply.

“Good! No back to the story!

Got tossed overboard in the middle of fucking nowhere and then dolphins showed up and started to mess with me,  dragging me under and the like.

Then Ronan and Imik showed up with a fucking sea serpent tied to the Boat like its some fucked up chariot!”

They gently patted Imugi again, this time on the bony beak-like snout.

“So anyway, they see me and toss me a rope to hold onto so that they could drag me on the deck!

But then the dolphins noticed Imugi and went for her instead!

She jumped on the deck like a scared cat and tried to cling to Ronan, oh at the time she was way smaller, like only a third of her current size!

So yeah, it was chaos cuz they had to pull me up while a scared sea serpent clung to them AND had to avoid some fucking Dolphins!

And the Ronan jumped into the water to ‘take a closer look at the dolphins’ 

I'm very surprised he made it past infancy if i'm honest.

Not that he doesn't act like a toddler now.

They let me stay and now we're friends”

They shrugged at the last part.

“That must have been quite chaotic, well nice to hear you didn't drown, Wait, what did Akeem do? You didn't mention him and i'm sure he'd have helped to get you on the deck”

They blinked and then laughed.

“He wasn't on the ship then! We met him a few months after I joined! We were somewhere close to Themisia and basically cruising along the coastline, pretty sandy there though.

Well, suddenly there was this big ass explosion a good ways ahead so we went to investigate.

The only thing we found was an exploded and burning house, and it wasn't even a good house,  just wood slapped together in some dumbass way.

No wonder it burned like that.

Whatever, Imik n’ Ronan wanted to see if anyone survived that, and yes we had to hold Ronan back from just walking into the fire.

So after that calms down we go and search for whatever and find this statue in the middle with something that probably was people once.

And then Ronan ask aloud what the fuck happened here and the ‘statue’ answers, gave all of us a shock!

But yeah as it turns out a bunch of wannabe dumbass mages tried to make like a golem? And fucking exploded!

Our best guess is that the magic that got freed in the explosion was what made him sentient but who the fuck knows”

They shrugged and went back to petting Imugi.

Well, of all the things I could have imagined that wasn't even on the list.

So he was made? Well I hadn't really thought about how he was just made of stone, but a Curse would have been my first guess.

“Wait, is he okay with you telling me this?”

I didn't want to overstep any boundaries after all, and it was not Jamie's story so I had no idea if Akeem was fine with it.

They just waved it off.

“He doesn't care, it's not like people are going to look at a guy made out of some black stone and go, ‘oh what a perfectly normal guy’ nah it don't work like that.

Also He's always pretty open about it, If people ask him he says the truth.

Though most of the time he's just like ‘was made and not born’

I think he just doesn't give a fuck what other people think about him”

It suddenly hit me that parts of the trader islands were a lot more open about having other species around than Kamerasca ever did.

So maybe these guys really just didn't care if other species were around.

How nice.

Made me wish I had that in the past, but at least I did now.

Just one more reason to go back to my friends, Despite Fae folk being banned they decided to be my friends and now Rikaad was trying to fix it as well now that he was king.

Yeah, I needed to get back as soon as I could, but with Ronan injured like this, that might take a while.

NEXT / PREVIOUS / OVERSIGHT

[alba8688]

Welcome home

Chapter 2

A/nThey are no warnings but if I miss anything let me know an as always reblog ..longer chapters would be coming I promise .

Word count:2185

I parked in front of my house and got out fast, fixing my clothes and hair. I try to cover the love bites from the night before and this morning.

The door to the front door opens suddenly. Dustin comes out running towards me, almost tackling me down .

"Hey Dusty, slow down ."

"Why haven't you answered my messages? I was worried sick about you ." He looked angry but sad at the same time . 

"I'm sorry Dusty I stop to rest at a Hotel I was super tired ."big ass lied right there I Fuck a random stranger ...

But I wasn't going to tell that to my little brother ,he didn't need to know that .

"But why didn't you answer?"

"Because I fell asleep early ." I lied like a big fat liar!!

After all the interrogation from my brother he helped me bring down my bags .

And kept interrogating me on my way to my room .

My room looks the same as the day I left it back in December when I came for the holidays .

"I'm happy your back sis ." Dustin says hugging me tightly .I was glad to be home too.

"Me too, I'm glad to be home ."

"Mom said she will see you when she gets out of work and I wanted to ask about Na..." I stopped him before he even got to finish his sentence because it was something we promised we wouldn’t talk about .

"Ok Dusty ."was all I responded and smile at him.

"Ok ,by the way Dani, did I tell you that during the summer I joined a club?" Dustin tells me excitedly trying to change the subject

"What kind of club ?" I asked him

"It's a D&D club ."

"Oh wow that's amazing Dusty !! "

"Yes it's a club in the school isn't that cool ?"dustin was super excited about his club and he kept talking about this boy a lot. He said he was the dungeon master and that I would like him Because he was awesome like me and Steve. I wonder if Steve knew about this new boy; he was probably jealous .

I knew he was jealous because he just wanted to be the older friend to Dustin.

"Ok I'll guess I'll meet him tomorrow ok."I tell him.

"Ok ,by the way the guys are coming over for D&D night Dani mom knows already ."

"Ok dusty i'm just gonna shower and rest ok for tomorrow ."I told him ,I was so damn tired and sore from my legs I needed a warm shower or a bath .

"Ok Dani ."Dustin tells me and hugs me again before letting me go .

Before I went to shower I moved my car to the garage to get the rest of the stuff out easier for me just to go out through the kitchen to the garage door .

While I was in the garage getting some stuff out I heard the boys getting here making a lot of noise .

I wanted to go say hi to them but I was super tired. I really needed to rest for tomorrow. I needed to look presentable for my first day at the job .

I grabbed the last of my stuff and headed to my room to drop them off and grab some clothes to shower.

After I was done showering I put an I oversized college shirt I had and some biker shorts and I went to the kitchen to grab something to eat. Everyone was so into the game that they didn't even notice me walk by. I got a sandwich and some Chips and went back to my room.

I lay down in bed eating my sandwich and chips.Finally able to rest after a long drive and long night I had with the metalhead I wonder what he is doing right now ?

I picked up my phone to check my social media but saw that I got a message from an unknown number.

Ed:"Hey sweetheart ."

D:"hello who's this ?"

💬........

E:Eddie

D:Eddie ??"

💬.........

E:The guy from The hideout .

D" Hey handsome, miss me already ?"

💬 ......

E:"Maybe 😉"

"D"Well who wouldn't 🖤"

💬....

E:"Conceited aren't we?"

D:"Maybe a little ,What are you doing?

💬.....

E:"With some friends and you ?"

D:"In bed im tired 😴 "

💬.....

E:"Tired from last night ?"

D:"Cocky aren't we ? "

💬........

E:"Maybe ,can we see each other again?"

He wanted to see me again I was like

A school girl excited but what if he didn't want to see me anymore when he finds out i'm a Boring history teacher ..

D:"Yes !! I would love that !!! 🖤"

I think I put too many exclamations and I let myself look so desperate.

E:"Ok what about tomorrow after I get out of school ."

School? I guess he still hasn't graduated from college probably goes to the local college nearby

D:"Yeah that sounds great !!😊"

💬........

E:"Movies tomorrow then ? "

D:"Yes I'll meet you at the cinema ."

💬........

E:"Can't wait for tomorrow sweetheart ."

"Can you get off your phone and continue with the game !!!!"

I heard Dustin shout to one of his friends but didn’t pay too much attention to it .

I saved Eddie’s number and started scrolling through my phone waiting for my mom To get home but she called saying she was taking overtime again .

I didn't like for her to overwork herself so much ; she was always so tired .But she said she would stop working when she dies.Being a nurse was her passion just like teaching was for me

I decided to Read The Hobbit before going to bed .

I could still hear Dustin and his friends in the living room laughing and screaming.

Eventually I fell asleep with the book in my chest .

I woke up to the sound of my alarm early in the morning .

I turn it off and stretch myself before getting ready for my first day as a Teacher .

I realized I had slept the whole day yesterday. I was so tired .

I went through my suitcase to find something appropriate for school , Shit I look myself in the mirror and realized my hair was red Hopefully they wouldn't tell me anything because my hair was dyed red. I had totally forgotten to go to the hair salon yesterday but I was too tired .

I did my hair in a messy ponytail and put on my fake lashes and black eyeliner with no lipstick.

I decided on wearing my glasses today because I didn't remember where I left my contacts .

I grabbed my bag and went to knock on Dustin's room .But there was no answer so I walked to the kitchen where my mom was cooking and Dustin was already there eating his breakfast .

"Goodmorning." I say

My mom turns around quickly and comes pulling me into a hug

"I missed you so much sweetheart ,ready for your first day of work ?"

"I think i am ."

"You look beautiful sweetie ." My mom says going back to flipping the pancakes 🥞 “My baby girl a teacher .” She smiles continuing to flip the pancakes .

I pour myself some coffee in my black Tumbler to take to school .

"Ready For school?" I ask excitedly to Dustin .Yeah I sounded excited but in reality I was so fucking nervous .I mean come on I was going to be teaching a whole Bunch of high school students.

"Yes more than ready !! he jumps out the chair and runs to grab his backpack

"I'll wait for you in the car !!" I shout before walking out .

"Love you !!" I hear my mom say before I walk out .

"Love you too mom!! "

I got in the car putting my tumbler down in the cup holder and put my seatbelt on.

The door to the passenger side opens and Dustin gets in putting his seatbelt on .

"This car is exactly like Steve's car but in Maroon ." My brother tells me.

I raise a brow remembering what the guy from the bar had told me about his friend having the same car as me ,I guess it is just a coincidence.

“Yeah haven’t seen Steve’s new ride .”I tell Dustin

I drove off the driveway and headed to school with Dustin with me .

The whole drive was filled with questions from Dustin of how I got this car and what else I did for a living..

He ask if I had an only fans account which I said no but it wouldn’t be that bad but nope I can’t do that my mother would kill me .

When we arrived at the school I parked at the teachers parking lot. I felt weird parking there .But the good thing was I didn't have to be looking for a good parking place .

"Bye Dani see you at lunch !!" Dustin yells while running towards the school to meet his friends .

I grab my coffee and my bag and the rest of the stuff I need for my class .

I lock the car and walk towards the front office to go clock in .

"Miss .Henderson, nice to have you back ." Principal Higgins greets me.

I just smile at him and walk out looking for my classroom.

I had brought some posters with me to put in my class. I don't know if they would mind if I put up some Metallica posters. I also brought some history posters like the map of the world and other good stuff .

When I walked into my classroom I felt so happy I was finally a teacher, my first job.i wanted to jump up and down with excitement .

This was my dream, my dream come true .

While I was decorating my class my phone rang it was a message I knew that because of the ding I went to check it .

E:"Good morning sweetheart."

I suddenly had the biggest smile. It was the boy from the bar Eddie.

D:"Good Morning handsome ."

E:"How's your morning so far?"

D:"Well today is my first day at the job, how's yours?"

E:"Shitty but now is better that you answer ."

I bit my bottom lip and smiled like an idiot .

Suddenly the bell Rang for the first period and students started to walk in the class .I started to get nervous so I wrote my name on the board before any more students would get here so I could introduce myself .

"Miss.Henderson."History teacher I wrote

I grab my phone again to check if he msg me.

E:"Can't wait to see you later ."

I didn't reply back when the tardy bell rang meaning that i should start getting ready for class .

I hadn't realized that everyone was staring at me in confusion.

I smile at everyone then I finally spoke .

Trying my best not to mess up on my first day .

"Goodmorning I'm Miss.Henderson, your new history teacher ." I said happily but deep inside I was nervous .

A boy raised his hand 🤚 he was wearing a green jacket I think he was in a sport .

"Yes ."

"You're a teacher ?" He asked

"Yes I am, why would you ask that ?"I scrunch my brows,don’t I look like a teacher ?

"Because you're too hot to be a teacher ." The boy laughs and high fives his friend who is sitting next to him.

"And your name is ?" I ask sternly trying to keep my cool I wasn’t about to snap on my first day as a teacher .

"Jason carver ."he replies with a cocky smile.

"Well Jason Carver, would you like Detention for that comment?" I went back to write on the white board the lesson of the day and Suddenly the door burst open

"Sorry ma'am ." I stood there frozen when I heard that voice. It sounded so familiar .so fucking familiar .I felt chills on the back of my neck .

I was afraid to turn around and look .Suddenly I my phone ding signaling I had gotten a msg .

I picked up my phone without letting the students see my face it was a text from Eddie the boy from the bar

E:"Talk to you later, just got to class."

I started typing back fast ,my heart started to beat faster, maybe I was having a heart attack.Or maybe a heart attack.Whatever it was it was getting really hot here .

D:"Ok."

Then I heard a phone chime. I turned around to look around and there sitting down in the seat on the very far back of the classroom was the boy from the bar .

"Holy shit!!" I gasped ,covering my mouth ,I think I said it little bit too loud ,I look like a deer in front of headlights right now.

Then the Eddie picked up his head and looked straight at me with wide eyes and a shocked expression just like mine.

What the fuck did I do ? I had sex with one of my students...

"Danielle ." He said softly

Everyone turned to look at him then at me ,my heart started beating even faster .

I was gonna lose my job on the first day ...

(Dani’s outfit but not ripped jeans)

Next chapter

[naturallytom]

Mending a Broken Heart (Tom Holland x reader, alternative part)

a/n: me? writing? unheard of. jk im tryin to get back into the groove!! this is an alternate version to Mending a Broken Heart, so some parts are the same and some I’ve edited or added some things! hope u enjoy!! 

warnings: language, angst, mentions of cheating

please reblog/leave feedback!!

picture not mine!

You had noticed it for months. Tom has been pulling away, spending more time out with the boys than at home with you. His kisses became forced and the words ‘love you’ slowly stopped falling from his lips. 

Most days he would leave for work before you woke up and on the rare occasion you were up when he left, he would mumble a ‘goodbye’ before walking out the door. Sometimes, if you were lucky, he would press a gentle kiss to your forehead. Most times, though, he would just leave. 

You did your best to keep the love alive, you were still madly in love with him. The wedding band that sat tightly on your ring finger mocked you. A symbol of what was love has turned into one sided love. Hell, you weren’t sure if Tom wore his wedding ring anymore. 

A quick glance to his left hand would reveal that he didn’t. 

You spent your nights wondering if it was something you did. Were you too clingy when he left to film? Was he just tired of you after four years of marriage? Did he find someone else?

No. You shook your head to yourself one night as you laid in the bed by yourself, the space usually occupied by Tom cold. If he found someone else and if he cheated, that’s on him. Not on you. 

Still, the thought plagued your mind. Did he meet someone else? Was she prettier than you? Is that where he was when he said he was out with the boys? Was she able to give him something you couldn’t give him?

The door opening and shutting alerted you that Tom was home. You sighed, knowing it’d be another night of sleeping on opposite sides of the bed. 

The door to the bedroom opened and in came Tom, Tessa jumping up to greet him. 

“Hey girl, hey love, how are you, hm?” He whispered, petting Tessa as his eyes flickering over to you, who was visibly awake. “Thought you’d be asleep by now. ‘S late.” 

“Couldn’t sleep.” You replied simply. “Hey so I was thinking, we haven’t had a date night in a while, maybe you wanted to go out to see the Halloween decorations around town and get dinner tomorrow night?” 

“Can’t,” He shook his head as he got ready for bed. “Harrison wants to watch the game. Told him I’d go.” 

“Didn’t you just see Harrison tonight?” 

“Yeah, and?” 

“Nothing.” You sighed, obviously upset. “Nothing, Tom. Goodnight.” 

“Night.” He responded, turning out the light and climbing into bed, falling asleep with his back toward you. 

-

The next day, you were surprised to see Tom already awake and waiting in the kitchen, sipping on a cup of tea when you got downstairs. 

“Good morning.” You smiled softly. 

“We need to talk.” He told you. You felt your heart drop and your palms get sweaty, but you wiped them on your pajama pants in an effort to seem totally calm and not panicked. 

“A-About what?” You asked, your voice coming out shaky. 

“I think,” Tom started. “I think we should get divorced.” 

It was then, at 8:30 am that your world came crashing down. 

“W-What?” You whimpered out, your voice weaker than before. “Why?”

“I’m not happy with you anymore.” He said simply. Your eyes flickered to his left hand, noticing the absence of the golden wedding band, making your heart ache. 

“We can try couples’ therapy. We can go on dates like we used to, Tom, please! We can fight for this, Tom. Fight for us.” You cried, your heart shattering into a million tiny pieces, each one puncturing your lungs as you struggled to keep your breath under control. 

“No,” He shook his head. “My mind is made up. I’m sorry, y/n. Um, I found a lawyer at a firm, they have a lot of other lawyers there you can contact. I’ll just, uh, leave their card here.” 

“So that’s it? Three years of dating and four years of marriage down the drain?” You sobbed, holding your knees to your chest as you sat on the kitchen floor. 

“I’m sorry, y/n. Truly, I am.”

He placed the small business card on the counter, grabbing the bags you didn’t even notice, mumbling an ‘I’ll be staying with Haz,’ before walking out the front door, like he did every other day. This time, though, you had the sinking feeling he was leaving for good. 

-

It was only three weeks that your lawyer came over to meet with you, joined by Tom and his lawyer. You kept your eyes focused on the table as you signed the paperwork, wanting to get this done as soon as possible. 

As soon as everyone left, you shut the door, slid down the back of it, and cried. 

-

Nearly two months after the worst day of your life and it was time for a self care night. The ring that once sat on your left hand was buried away in your jewelry box somewhere and you were finally starting to feel free and somewhat happy again after crying yourself to sleep and wondering where it all went wrong for months. 

After the divorce you buried yourself in work, using it as a distraction from going home to an empty house. You also moved out of the house you once called home. Not only was it too painful to go home to an empty house, but it was too painful to go home to a house that held so many happy and loving memories. You took the necessities along with some things you wanted with you and set yourself up in a hotel room for the time being. You treated it as a vacation. Except only a few people knew where you were. Your family knew, along with your friends, including Harrison, on the condition he didn’t tell Tom where you were. You started making time for yourself in your little hotel room and you became happier. 

Tonight, after a long day of work, you ordered your favorite Chinese food, played your favorite songs, and ran yourself a bath with a vanilla scented bath bomb. You were enjoying a glass of wine, the hot water of the bath soothing you when the music playing from your phone was interrupted by a call coming in. 

To your surprise, it was Tom. You contemplated answering it, but instead, let it go to voicemail. However, you were curious as to why he called, though you were also 99% positive it was a pocket dial. So you played the voicemail, the familiar voice ringing throughout the bathroom. 

“Hey y/n, um, I hope you’re doing well. I just called because I wanted to tell you something. I um, I miss you. A lot. And I know I don’t get to feel that way but I do and I just wanted to tell you that and I guess ask if there was any possibility of meeting to talk? Uh, call me back if...if you want. I don’t blame you if you hate me. Bye. Love y-” 

You turned off the voicemail before the phrase could be finished. Millions of thoughts filled your mind, ranging from happy ones to ones that made your heart ache and tears fill your eyes. 

You decided to ignore it, pretend it never happened, and enjoy your self care night. 

-

When Tom pulled up to his former house with flowers in his car and a pit of nerves in his stomach, he expected to see your car in the driveway and at least one light to be on. He was greeted with an empty driveway and a dark house, which confused him. It was the weekend, so you weren’t work. Maybe you had to run an errand? 

But after 20 minutes, he gave up hope that you were home and tried to call you, which to no surprise, you didn’t pick up again. He instead called Harrison in an effort to try and find out if he knew where you were. 

“What do you want?” Harrison answered, half concentrating on what Tom was about to say and half concentrating on the game in front of him. 

“Do, uh, do you know where y/n is?” Tom asked, taking Harrison by surprise. 

“y/n?” Harrison paused the game, suddenly not able to concentrate on it. “Why d’you want to know where y/n is?”

“I just want to talk to her.” He mumbled. 

“If I knew that’s where you were going I wouldn’t have let you go.” Harrison sighed. “Listen she made me swear that I wouldn’t tell you-” 

“Please Harrison? You’ve seen how much of a mess I’ve been. I just want to see if I have a shot.” Tom begged, making his friend cave. 

“Fine but if she moves again I won’t be telling you shit.”  

-

The next day you were enjoying a cup of tea and reading your book, getting some relaxation in before your week began when a knock on the door interrupted you. Confusion filled your body, you weren’t expecting anyone to pop by. 

Looking out the peephole, you froze at the sight that greeted you. Tom was standing outside your door, a bouquet of your favorite flowers in his hands. 

“Hi.” He breathed out, his nose and the tips of his ears red from the harsh winter air. 

“How the hell did you find me?” You asked, keeping your eyes focused on the ground. 

“Harrison. I begged him to tell me.” He answered. 

“I’m gonna kill him.” You muttered. “What do you want?”

“Can..Can I come in?” He asked. 

You wanted to say no, that he could say what he wanted to say outside or just not let him speak at all. But you wanted to be courteous to the other people on your floor and part of you was curious as to what he was going to say. So you wordlessly opened the door slightly, letting him in and closing the door behind him. 

“Now what do you want?”

“Did you get my voicemail?” He responded, hope filling his eyes when you nodded. “Um, I brought these for you. I was hoping we could talk.” 

“I don’t want your flowers. Why should I talk to you? We’re divorced, just like you wanted.” Tom winced at the words. “Nothing to change.” 

“Actually, we’re not.” He corrected. “I called the office the other day. Um, it’s not official yet.” 

“Well then they should make it official. Maybe I can call them and make it happen as my very last Christmas present to you. Just what you wanted.” You snapped. 

“No, this isn’t what I want, can I speak, please?” He pleaded, his eyes resembling those of a puppy. 

“You’re speaking already.” You answered, gesturing for him to continue nonetheless. 

“I- How have you been? I stopped by the house-”

“Tom I’m not gonna listen to your small talk. Say what you have to say and leave.” You told him. His heart broke but he couldn’t blame you. 

“Um, so I thought I wasn’t happy with you but um, as time went on, I realized how much I miss having you in my life.” He began, visibly nervous. “I was just looking through our pictures and how happy you looked and I just, I guess I realized I wanted to be the one to make you that happy again.”

“You haven’t made me happy in months, Tom.” 

“I know.” His heart clenched. “I know and I’m so sorry, y/n. I really am.” 

“Was there someone else? Did you cheat on me?” You asked. 

“No, no absolutely not, y/n.” He answered before adding; “I went on a date with someone after we split up but it didn’t work out. I realized she wasn’t what I want.” 

“Of course she wasn’t.” You scoffed. 

“I want you, y/n. I want to spend the rest of my life making you happy again.” He told you, tears filling your eyes. “Is there..is there any possibility you could love me again?” 

“Again?” You seethed. “Tom I never fell out of love with you! I never stopped loving you! That was all you! You stopped loving me and you wanted this stupid fucking divorce!”

“I..I don’t think I ever stopped loving you either.” He whispered, tears falling down his rosy cheeks. “Please, y/n, if there’s even the tiniest chance..” 

“Of what, Tom? Of going right back to being married? Of you making me happy? I don’t know, Tom! I don’t know anything except that I hate you right now.” You sobbed, crying into your knees while Tom let out quiet sobs of his own, his heart clenching at the lack of wedding band on your left hand and the lack of love in your voice, but especially your eyes. Your eyes, which once held so much love and adoration for him were now full of anger and resentment. 

“Of..anything, y/n. Please, I just want a second chance to show you how much you mean to me, to make you happy again. I will do anything to save us, anything you want. And...and if it’s not working or you just really hate me, I wouldn’t blame you. Not at all.” He begged, his eyes puffy and red. 

“I tried to save us, Tom. Don’t you remember? I begged and pleaded with you to do couples therapy to go on dates when you were breaking my heart into a million tiny pieces. I begged you to try and fight for us, for our marriage, but you just walked out the god damn door!” You spit through gritted teeth. 

“I fucked up, I know. I fucked up so badly.” He cried, wiping his tears away. 

“And if leaving me wasn’t enough, you took Tessa too! I was left completely alone in that big fucking house that was haunted by you. I couldn’t stand it.” You sobbed. 

“I’m..I’m sorry, y/n. So so fucking sorry. What do you want me to do?” 

“I want...I want you to hurt. I want you to hurt the way you hurt me. I want you to know how this fucking feels.” You said, your voice getting louder with each word that fell from your lips.

Tom could only cry. This was ripping him apart, he couldn’t even imagine what the whole thing felt like to you. 

“I’m gonna need time to think, Tom.” You finally mumbled, Tom nodding in response. 

“I’ll give you all the time you need. I promise you-” 

“Don’t. Don’t promise me anything.” You spoke, your voice low. ��You won’t be able to keep it. You promised you’d love me forever four years ago and look what happened.” 

“y/n pl-”

“You don’t get to do this. You-you don’t get to just waltz right back in here and ask for a second chance to fight for us when I didn’t even get a first chance. How do I know this won’t end like it did before?” 

“y/n, I swear to you, if this isn’t working out, you can leave me. I...I just want a chance to prove myself to you.” He begged. 

“God, Tom. You don’t get it! I’m not going through this again. Do you realize how much you broke me the first time? Fuck, you had a chance, Tom. And you threw it away.” You muttered quietly. 

“I regret that every day. Every god damn day.” He told you honestly.

“I don’t know, Tom.” You sighed. 

“Talk to me?” He tried, knowing you were hiding something deeper than an ‘I don’t know.’

“Don’t know what else there is to say.” You mumbled. “I don’t trust you, I-I can’t trust you. I hate you.” 

“Why’d you get a hotel room?” Tom sniffled, changing the subject. 

“I told you. I hated being in that house. Hated being surrounded by the happy pictures and memories of us.” You told him honestly. “I want to start over.” 

“What?”

“I want to start over. I can’t go back to being emotionally married to you even if we’ll still be married legally. I’m talking starting from scratch, as if we were meeting for the first time, the whole deal.” You told him. 

“That sounds perfect, y/n. Thank y-”

“Get out, Tom. Please. I just want to be alone and not with you right now. I’m still not happy with you.” 

“Okay.” He breathed out, hope filling him once again. “You won’t regret this, I promise.” 

“What did I just say about promises?” You asked tearily. 

“I know, I know. I’m determined to keep this promise, though.” He told you. 

“Fine. Whatever. Just please leave for now.” You whimpered, watching as he walked out the door, just like he did when he broke your heart. 

You decided you needed another self care night. Another bath was run, another vanilla scented bath bomb was used, more wine was consumed. 

Tom texted you right as you got out of the bath. 

Tom: hey y/n, it’s tom, just incase you don’t have my number saved anymore. I just wanted to say thank you for the second chance. I really am grateful. I hope you have a relaxing night, you deserve it. 

You rolled your eyes and tossed your phone gently on your bed, though you could feel your heart rate pick up and butterflies fill your stomach. 

-

Tom began texting you sweet little things each morning, whether it was to let you know that he’s been thinking of you or to tell you that he hopes you have a great day. At first you ignored them, but then you began responding in short answers of one or two words until the two of you were texting every day, like when you met for the first time seven years ago. 

-

Over a month after you started texting again, Tom took you on a first date. Pulling up to your hotel, Tom felt the nerves fill his body as he walked up to your door and knocked, another bouquet of your favorite flowers in his hand. 

He felt all the air leave his lungs as you opened the door. You looked absolute stunning. You were wearing a navy blue dress that reached down to just above your knees, one Tom bought you one year. 

“Wow, hi.” He breathed. “You look stunning.” 

“Thank you.” You smiled, accepting the flowers he handed you. “I’ll be right back.” 

Tom took you to your favorite restaurant that night, one that the two of you frequented when you (formerly) went on dates. 

When he took you back to your hotel, he walked you up to the door, where he nervously asked if he could kiss you. 

You said yes, and that was all Tom needed to press a soft kiss to your lips. The kiss was magical, both of you felt the sparks between the two of you. 

“God I missed doing that.” Tom mumbled as he pulled away to breathe. 

“Then do it again.” 

-

A couple months after that, Tom moved back in with you. You had gone back to the house every now and then, to slowly acclimate yourself to being back in the once happy house, only fully moving back when Tom moved back as well. The pictures of the two of you were dusted off, making your heart race instead of hurt at the sight of the happy memories. 

-

Finally, after a year, Tom proposed to you (again). You hesitated a little bit, still scared it would end in heartbreak again, which broke Tom’s heart, but said you yes in the end. 

The two of you renewed your vows, putting on the golden bands that were once again a symbol of the love the two of you shared. 

You had a small party back at your house after the ceremony, your families joining to celebrate. You found Tom alone in the kitchen, grabbing a beer for him and Harry. 

“Hey.” You greeted, fiddling with your fingers as tears of happiness filled your eyes. 

“Hey, what’s wrong, my love?” Tom asked, concerned as soon he saw the tears filling your eyes. 

“Nothing, nothing. I, um,” You started, wiping your tears away and wrapping your arms around Tom’s neck. “I’m really glad we made it back to this.” 

“Me too, lovey. I love you so much.” He whispered, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead.

“Hey, Tommy?” 

“Yeah?” 

“You kept your promise.” You smiled softly, making Tom’s heart ache at the memory of you not being able to trust him. 

“I told you I would.” 

Your moment was interrupted by Harrison, who entered the kitchen, smiling at his two best friends happily in love once again. 

“Aren’t you so glad I told him where you were staying?” He joked, making you roll your eyes. 

“Shut up, Harrison.” You smiled. As your eyes flickered between Tom and Harrison, though, you knew you wouldn’t have been in this position if Harrison didn’t spill the beans to Tom. 

“Hey Haz?” You called, as Harrison went to leave the kitchen in fake offense. He turned at the sound of his name, knowing what was coming. 

“Thank you.” Tom nodded in agreement, his arm slipping around your waist. 

Harrison just smiled even bigger, all three of you knowing everything would be okay from now on.

[terracyte]

oKAY I AM HAVING THOUGHTS AND GRACE IS ASLEEP AND YOU SAID I COULD SEND ANY AND ALL THOUGHTS SO JEG SIGER UNDSKYLD (i apologize lol) BUT THOUGHTS:

Cannot choose a favorite character. i think it’s either fushiguro, itadori, or nanami right now… i love they… i think i might be leaning towards fushiguro idk the vibes i just feel it in my chest that it’s He bUT MY FRIEND MADE ME WORRY ABOUT HIM and now i’m worried about nanami too… after that post y’all reblogged… and like you always gotta be worried about itadori tbh

hate that principal dude with the guitar or whatever Not a fan he’s mean will fight him

i love kugaski too she’s so iconic and like in the baseball episode when she got mad and they were all like “oh no she’s angry” akdbdkbdjd please i love a mean she / they lesbian

and i love maki and inumaki and i gotta get used to panda still lol idk man talking animals get me every time aidbjdbdb

this is how i described my feelings for todo to grace: “also you’ll hate todo but also think he’s funny but also you’ll groan whenever he’s on screen but also you’ll love him”

i wish fushiguro was a cat person but that’s just because i love him and am scared of dogs lol

gojo is iconic and i love the new outro, it’s so cute, but i miss gojo dancing at the end sir please you’re so good at dancing ???

and geto’s voice is deeper than i thought it would be because for some reason i thought gojo would have the deeper voice ??? i also was Not expecting both gojo and geto to be like. fun loving funny let’s go~ people akdbkdbdjd that came as a surprise and i’m here for it tho i’m sure part of it is a facade to cover up trauma, just quirky things ya know

and i love ijichi he’s trying his best good for him what a king

but no yeah nanami 👌🏼 hE CARES SO MUCH AND LIKE HE WAS LIKE “itadori you are a child. please stop almost dying. literally i am an adult and you are Not” and it gives me the vibes of me being like “[my sister] you literally just turned eighteen at the end of july ma’am please chill” and her being like “oH so you don’t think i can handle myself i see” oh my gosh… my sister is basically kugasaki if she were straight and cis…

also idk if you’ve seen sds / nnt but gojo has ban vibes and itadori has meliodas vibes solely because of the way they both act when people try to kill them

okay i should do homework now UGH i have work at six am tomorrow and it’s ten pm and then i drive three hours home after work so i actually Need sleep tonight lol wanna finish jjk tho…

oKAY FEELINGS OVER HOMEWORK DOING LOVE YOU HOPE YOU’RE THRIVING

NEVER APOLOGIZE- SEND ALL THE JJK THOUGHTS <33

and corey how is it that every opinion you have is SO Correct- fuck principal guitar all my homies hate him </3

and yesssS mean lesbian kugisaki and the second years!! theyre all very beloved and im sure youll warm up to panda <33 and heLP the way you described todo thats exactly it he's the 'bESTO FRIENDO" guy-

AND LOST IN PARADISE THATS THE BEST OUTRO EVERYONE IS SO CUTE IN THAT

the entire part about geto and gojo having the ~let's go~ vibes for trauma reasons- yeah. yEAh 🧍‍♂️

and ichiji is just trying his best 😔 appreciation for ichiji whEN

nanami beloved he really is the only adult to ever you're right, he's such a good character ❣

and i haven't seen that show but i will take your word for it!! we love making those literary connections <33

but ahHH good luck with your work and with work!! jjk will always be here for you to scream w/ us about so please take care of yourself first!! 🥰

[creations-of-a-potato]

You've been visited by the random OC question fairy! :D ~☆

Has your character ever hurt or been hurt by a friend? What were the repercussions from this incident? Did the friendship survive?

hi!!!

oh boy :)

again, still on my Supernatural hyperfixation

lets go with Role Swap

Israfel

so, Israfel was friends with Abel & Cain (Abel more so) and after Abel's death (which was an actual accident here, Abel found Cain talking to Michael a.k.a. the Devil and the two got into a fight. Cain accidentally shoved Abel too hard, Abel lost his footing on rocks and tree roots and cracked his skull open.) Israfel tried to bring Abel back but it went. Wonky and Wrong.

Then during the Rebellion, she met Delilah and eventually Delilah was killed because of the two's relationship. Israfel did Not handle it well. She bound the souls of Delilah's murderers to the earth so they couldn't be reaped, which put her near the top of Death's shitlist.

After Delilah's death, she deserted Heaven and wandered. She buried all the parts of her that wanted to heal and help under her pain and grief. Honestly, she's fairly ashamed of how she acted during this. She was in a lot of pain, grieving, crushed by guilt and feeling broken. She lashed out and wanted to make those around her hurt as much as she did, usually by physically hurting them. She had exactly one friend that she could talk to during this and she avoided the HECK out of him.

Eventually she ran into Cain and she didn't really think about what she was saying. She just wanted to make people hurt and, hey, physically hurting people isn't helping the pain, maybe psychologically hurting people will.

She told him,

"Cain. No matter how much Abel loved you or forgave you, you killed him. People like us do that. We kill everyone we touch."

And Cain (being of the Eden bloodline and the Winchesters ancestor) already had a BIG guilt issue and self-loathing problem. So he already believed that, and just internalized it more.

She apologizes (genuinely) later but like. 500,000 years later. By that time, he has a better grasp on what her mental state was like then (Delilah being killed for loving her, Colette being killed because Cain loved her) and understands why she did that. So he forgives her, but she doesn't forgive herself.

See, when she tried to bring Abel back, she talked to Abel before his soul Went Off. He asked her to give Cain a message for him and try and get him away from Michael if she could. She neither gave Cain the message nor tried to get Cain away from Michael (not that either would have handled that well, hello unhealthy and desperate possessiveness because both are walking the edge of stability and collapse and are the only thing holding the other back and they're terrified of what'll happen if one falls off the edge)

uhhh im legit fallinv asleep here, so im gonna go to bed and reread this in the morning and check ot for mistakes and junk

OH NO i just reread the ask and, I answered it backwards!!

uhh, I'll reblog this tomorrow with the more correct answer, or smth I'm tired

always happy to see you Fae!!

[fluffymoe]

im really sad and i havent taken my antidepressants in few days (i dont have any left and i have a visit tomorrow so dont worry ill get them but i had to go a few days without them), im also taking birth control and it obviously messes up with my body too AND i was dehydrated/caffeine addicted. also recently i get very little likes/reblogs on my art and i feel like im an egoistic lame person and everyone looks down on me because i dont know how to act when people yell at me (a customer did and i started crying lmao) and i just. feel like shit. i wish i could at least make myself happier with dressing up but i hate all my clothes atm. i drank vodka yesterday alone and just went to sleep lmao.today i wanted to meet up with friends but i got even more depressed and i fell asleep and didnt contact them. i feel like shit because i knew i might sleep thru our meeting time but i literally  thoi8ght ‘dont care’. but they care?? why am i like this??

also someone is murdering seals and it makes me feel so sick

also i hate my job and dont wanna go

[mcstarr]

drunk boyfriend tag

summary: dan and phil get drunk and film the boyfriend tag (similar to what shane dawson did) tags: alcohol, so much sweetness and cuteness your teeth will hurt, extreme fluff by: angelboydjh on tumblr word count: ~1.8k first fic posted!! please, ignore any mistakes and reblog and like!! ilu!! send in requests for fics :-) ﾟ*｡:(人´v｀*)☆ﾟ:｡*ﾟ dan and phil got a little drunk. they originally got out some Ribena, which is completely unharmful, until dan spotted vodka on the kitchen counter, which they only keep for parties. its almost gone, with a half a bottle left, so dan thought of an idea. "phil, lets get drunk." phil looked at dan confused; dan never really likes drinking as much as he used to, hes grown, the satisfaction of being drunk doesnt really thrill as much, and its the same with phil. "why?" asked phil, sipping his Ribena. "because why not! we have no meeting tomorrow, we are bored out of our minds, and itll be fun! we'll even be safe, we can control each other well." phil thought about it. he never really likes hangovers, who does? he gets them bad, and he knows dan gets them worse, but dan was right, they were extremely bored and had no meetings tomorrow. phil shrugged, and replied with a sure, causing dan to jump up with joy. dan grabbed the bottle and went to phils room, closing the door, and sitting on his bed. he opens to bottle and pours a lot in his drink, doing the same to phil. there is now many 4 shots full left of the drink and dan was happy he rationed out well. "wanna do a toast?" asked phil. "with our vodka filled ribena?" chuckled dan. phil nodded, giggling a little. "why not?" phil responded, and dan nodded agreeing. they lifted their glass cups up and they look at each other. "to us!" dan laughed at the cliché, but echoed phil, and a clink noise was heard when the touched glasses. dan downed about half of his drink in that one sip, phil only taking a baby sip. phil made a face, hating the taste of vodka. dan hid his disgust, looking at phil. "now we wait." dan took another sip, already feeling slightly dizzy. *:･ﾟ✧ dan was fully drunk. he was giggling, putting his head on phil, slurring his words, all of it. phil was only tipsy. he didnt drink much yet, only about half of his drink. dan, of course, drank all of it, even the rest in the bottle! "phil!" dan slurred out, and phil glanced over slowly, so he doesnt get dizzy, and raised his eyebrow. "we should do a boyfriend tag." phil thought about this. is he that drunk that he doesnt really care if they do one or not? yes. he doesnt really care, its not like itll be posted. phil knows better than that. "sure." phil got up to get his camera from the other side of the room, and dan plopped on the bed laughing at who knows what. it took phil about 2 minutes to set up everything for filming, and an extra 5 minutes to find good goddamn questions. he finally found some question, a total of twenty. he can barely read them because of his blurry vision, and since he didnt have neither his contacts or glasses on. so he grabbed his glasses from the bed side and put them on to see if itll help. nope. he took another sip of his drink and locked his phone. he'll cross that bridge when he gets to it. he gets up and turns on the camera, praying to god its in focus. "dan, its on, we are filming." once those words left phils mouth, dan shot up from phils bed and looked at phil. "okay, okay, okay, okay," he kept repeating that until he finally was next to phil on the bed facing the camera. phil giggled at dan, dan looking at him with his red cheeks. "okay, ready, babe?" asked phil, seeing double of dan. dan nodded, and smiled at phil and then at the camera. "okay," phil breathed in and then 'took in his persona'. "hey guys!" he said cheerfully, but all it did is make him dizzy. dan was like, on top of phil, so hes grateful that he was, or phil wouldve fallen over. "im here with dan." phil pointed at him, and dan waved, his white oversized cat shirt being exposed, and you could even see his naked legs, since hes wearing shorts. "we are doing the boyfriend tag." phil said slowly, and dan nodded jumping up and down on the bed. "phil is my boyfriend! boyfriend phil! philip lester, boyfriend!" he yelled, making phil giggle. "okay, want ask the questions, or do u want me go ask them?" asked phil to dan. "ask me the questions! then we will do it back!" dan suggested, and phil nodded encouragingly. "okay, first question." phil unlocked his phone and read it very carefully. "when is my birthday?" he asked. "bonus points for the zodiac sign!" "january 30th, that makes you a......" he strung out the 'a' to think. "an Aquarius! aquarium." he laughed, and phil chuckled. "correct baby." he leaned in to kiss dan, and dan kissed him, tasting of vodka and ribena. "okay, now," phil was going to go to the next question, but dan protested. "now do mine! do mine!" dan pouted, crossing his arms. "june 11th! youre a gemini." phil stuttered out, making dan laugh. "lucky guess." he muttered jokingly. "next question," phil scrolled down the page. "where did i grow up?" "im too drunk for this phil!!" he moaned out. "the north! thats all youre getting." "well, youre not wrong." said phil. "ill give you the point." "what about me?" asked dan. "the south." "ugh! exact place!" "not fair, you didnt do that for me!" "ugh, whatever." dan pouted again. "wipe that pout off your face princess." phil whispered, grabbing dans chin. "im just kidding philly!" dan kissed phil, getting him off guard. "okay, next," phil asked. "whats my middle name?" "michael! these are too easy! i want harder ones. test me!" dan groaned out, and phil rolled his eyes. "okay, okay," phil said. he scrolled down to another website, which had different questions. "how about this: where was our first date?" "EASY!" he yelled, throwing his hands up. "well, kinda," he muttered. "its hard!" "well, tell me." phil said suggestively, leaning closer to dan. "we first met of course at the train station," he muttered out. "and then we went straight to your house, and, did things. does that count as a first date?" this took him way too long to say, as he was stuttering madly. "yes, it does. great job, cutie." phil said happily and leaned in for a kiss. "okay, let me ask the question!" phil started to give him the phone, but dan refused, saying he wants go make one up. "whats the first thing you notice about me?" he asked a bashful. "your smile." phil said simply. no explanation was needed to make dan feel all warm inside. dan covered his face and leaned on phils shoulder, grinning like mad. once he got up, he looked at phil, seeing his wonderful, eyes. "you know what mine is." he muttered, almost inaudible. it was phils turn to blush. they lean in and kiss once again, but longer than before. when they pulled apart, dan was seeing actual stars, and couldnt even understand what was happening, completely forgot about the video. "oh my god, i love you so much." he said in a shush tone, with phils hand on his cheek. they were only a few inches away from each other, and phil loved it. phil was exploding every inch of dans face, and so was dan. every moment phil made, it made him more dizzy and more dazed, but he didnt care. within a few moments, they both locked eyes, and somehow, both remembered they were recording. "uh, one more question," phil stuttered out, as dan looked around for his almost empty drink. "okay, last question. what is my favorite color?" "easy, blue." dan said, as he drank his final sips of his drink before crushed it and threw it. "hey!" phil protested, looking over at the cup. "ill pick it ip later, babe." dan slurred out almost incoherently. "whats mine?" "easy, pink." phil mocked. dan smiled softly, putting his arms around phils neck, phil put this hands on dans waist. "what kind of pink?" he muttered, with his sloppy grin on his face, his curly hair perfect in tack still. (which surprised phil) "pastel." dan groaned jokingly, letting his head drop down onto phils shoulders. "oh my god, i tried to trick you!" dan yelled. "well, you didnt. 8 years of friendship pays off." phil joked. dan put his head on phils shoulder, his head facing the camera. "can we finish? i wanna cuddle with you watch disney movies." phil chuckled and nodded. "we'll finish, lets do the outro." phil tapped dan, so he can get up from his shoulder, but dan didnt move a muscle, indicating hes not moving. "okay, well, goodbye everyone, please like a subscribe to me and dans channel, and our gaming channel! love you!" he waved and awkwardly looked at dan. "i need to turn off that camera baby." dan groaned and got up from phils shoulder. phil got up and turned off the camera, sitting right on his bed again next to dan. "can we just cuddle?" phil can tell dan was getting tired, and getting all drained. he gets like this when hes drunk, but also after recording videos. "of course, princess." phil laid down, then wrapping his arms around dan who is not next to them. they peacefully fall asleep, with the lights on and phils snoring. *:･ﾟ✧ it was the morning, and phil is posting his premade video on lessamazingphil, just a quick vlog from florida. its taking surprisingly long to process, since its only 2 minutes, but phil didnt question it. its almost done, so phil went to go see dan, who has the worst hangover ever. "how are you baby?" asked phil, laying next to dan. "better, how bad was it?" he asked, and phil laughed. "you were fine, not as bad as a few months ago, but you were not any better." dan groaned, and at that moment his phone dinged. he unlocked his phone to see the notification, YouTube popping up, and it was phils new video. "uh, phil." dan said. "yes?" phil hummed. "you posted the wrong video." "what?" phil yelled a little too loudly for dan, as he backed away and gave phil his phone in just one beat. "i uploaded our drunk boyfriend tag." dans eyes widen. "we filmed a video? no way, i dont remember this. did we kiss?" "i was drunk too!" "well, i would keep it up." "why?" "we already made this mistake once, lets just let them have what they want."

[cliveboney]

hhhhhh

im tryin to get over this & move on w/ my life so maybe making a post abt it will help

so i applied for a zine a while ago (well like. 2 weeks ago) bc i’ve never been part of one & i thought it might be cool (also free copy + $$ right yell heah yeehaw). from the beginning i wasn’t really expecting too much like im just basically like “it won’t hurt to just apply & see what happens”

so i spent a bit of time gathering up some recent pieces to put in my “”portfolio”” so i could send it over because like. applications were open but there was like a week until the deadline to send yours so i took advantage of that to finish up some drawings i’d been working on etc (that’s why i was suddenly super active on my art blog for like a week lmaoo)

Anyway i did all that & put it in my portfolio & then submitted it the day before the deadline & it was all taken care of, time to wait. the next step was for the organizers to post the list of accepted artists, so they did that & i checked & unfortunately i didnt make the cut which is like. cool, fine, i wasn’t expecting much anyway, right? they had a ton of applicants so chances were slim, etc etc

not gonna fuckin lie to myself tho ok i rly did want to be a part of the project & i was pretty proud of the things i had worked on in preparation for the application & yea i did think i had a p decent chance li ke i obvs didn’t know who i was up against & it could’ve totally been a bunch of amazing artists who blew me out of the water but i felt like my stuff was at least. u know. nice to look at 

anyway i didnt get in & i was like rip & the organizers were like “we’re gonna send out emails to everyone including those who weren’t accepted” & i was like ok cool at least this way i’ll know for sure they got my entry

except. i never got an email?? they were like “we’ll send them out today/tomorrow” & it’s been almost a week now & i haven’t gotten anything so now instead of moving on like i’m supposed to be doing i keep thinking about what if my entry didn’t go through, does this mean i actually did have a chance but some random error prevented it from happening? they had so many entries & there was so little time between the deadline for submissions & the announcement of the artist list, did they really look at all the entries, or did they stop before they got to mine? did i fuck this up by waiting too close to the deadline, ensuring that my work never even got considered? but if i had submitted early i wouldn’t have had any examples of my current work to show, and my art has definitely changed since the last time i posted smth i was actually proud of so it wouldn’t have been good to submit at that point anyway

im just fucking overthinking everything & it’s so. ugh. and im literally /literally/ the worst person for doing this, but i did look at some of the accepted artists & i did compare my work to theirs & i absolutely did feel like mine could have easily been accepted over theirs but then again i have the creator’s point of view i dont know what my art actually looks like, maybe it looks like shit maybe it looks dumb as hell with weird proportions & unintentional warping that just makes it so goddamn ugly no one wants to look at it & that’s why all the things im proud of never get reblogged, who knows!! 

i don’t know what the organizers’ criteria for judgement was & i dont know what precisely they were looking for all i know is i didn’t get into the thing i rly wanted to get into & im upset abt it despite my best efforts not to be & i wish i could just move on and try again next time but that was literally the only time i’ve ever seen a call for applications to a zine, i have no idea how tf people actually find these things because the only way i ever find out about them is when they’re done and being advertised to sell so even though i know it’s not the case this felt like a special one-time opportunity which is making the rejection feel even worse & im just overall rly mad abt this bc i went into this so casually & somehow came out so unhappy

i just wish i could forget about it & get on with more important things in my life like hmm maybe the one month i have left to catch up in my classes & not fail them both like uhhh this shitty 90 second animation for this shitty piece of shit class that someone somehow tricked whoever’s in charge into labeling an “animation class” for which neither of those words apply as there is teaching of neither animation nor any other fucking thing in the entire universe going on during what i like to call the Three Hell Hours, each referred to respectively as “i woke up this early and walked this far and climbed this many stairs for This”, “holy shit it’s only 9 am how”, and “just 55 more minutes until i can get the fuck out of this time trap and spend the rest of the day trying to figure out if this moment right now even happened or if it was all a terrible fever dream that i had while really spending the morning actually asleep”

this got away from me, it’s well past midnight, im tired and not happy ok, today was a bad day for no reason, just generally a shit day, i gave a presentation on my half-assed painting project today which was about aromanticism & ended up telling my class im aro which didn’t seem like a big deal at the time & probably isn’t in the long run but for some reason i’m regretting it big time now like i feel like i shouldn’t have been so casual like that with a bunch of strangers & i was trying to explain the project but people were confused bc i forgot that most people don’t even distinguish between romantic/sexual orientation & people know basically nothing abt aromanticism bc nobody ever talks about it except sometimes on the internet and hhhhhh it went fine and all but i feel retroactively uncomfortable at having been so open about myself in front of a bunch of people who Don’t Get It man what a wakeup call after having been online w/ people who do get it for so long

my only consolation is that i have a friend in that class who Gets It & she’s like. my one support in that class, she said i handled it well so that was reassuring at least. but god. i can’t wait for the semester to be over so i never have to go back & face those people again lolllool godddddddd

anyway that’s all the venting i want to do for now lmfao sorry about this i just. hohjhj