#im going to draw a lot of different stuff now! Not only fnaf related things :> So I hope you'll stay for longer hohohohh

[rayjeff]

After unfollowing you because I don't know anything about fnaf, I am proud to say I am back for your Alastor and Rosie art. Just....slay

lol

welcome back man! =v=

[calpalsworld]

Not "autistic anon," but also autistic, (being called maybe ableist made me want to put this out there before go to bed) i thought Zane was depicted that way purposefully by the writers. He has stereotypical traits like taking things literally, and has an actual humor switch. The writers have done things with Zane before like have him lose bodily autonomy (during that one Wu's teas short) and did something with his voice be it making him unable to be understood or talking too loud and the forced pirate voice by Jay. (what you're doing isn't too different from that, right?) I thought it was just a little iffy to distort his body and memory bc that could be interpreted as something not that I'm sure what exactly, it's some kind of disability. I dunno. I'm not good with putting this to words. I hope this makes sense.

Sorry I went to bed but now I’m awake 😭

Also I ended up totally spilling all my thoughts here rather than only specifically replying to you please forgive me context: my scary zane concept design, & my ninjago rewrite i refer to a lot 

Im a little confused but I think I get what you're saying? You're saying the Ninjago writers absolutely DON'T write Zane well (you listed examples of this) and you don't want me to fall into the same trap?

I had the opposite logic earlier. I thought: If Ninjago writers made Zane have stereotypical autisitic traits while also being a dehumanized robot, I may as well embrace it, say he is autistic blatantly, while also making him do funny/cool non-human robot things, so its clear as possible the two aspects of his character are literal and separate and not a metaphor for each other. But you're right! I do have a choice and I dont have to embrace things! :)

Like there were a couple ways I was gonna reject the original, for example, I never wanted Zane to have a funny switch, and I hated how other characters could fuck with Zane and he didn't even care 😬. I want to change that stuff. So youre right, if I am changing shit like that, it would be counterproductive for ME to GIVE him MORE traits along that theme. 😬😬😬 I should try to feel less obligated to portray Zane like he originally is. I still like the concept of "scary zane" (for reasons i explain below the cut) but I might tone it down a bit like with the claws and weird proportions and shit. I’d def make him look more skeletal and undead. That was my original intention, but i didnt execute it as good as I could have.... idk if anyone could tell thats what he was supposed to be like...my bad! But rn I dont wanna redesign him I wanna draw other stuff like normal alive Zane. Sorry LMAO 😳. Like I said in some earlier asks I think, I think Im gonna focus rn on how I should portray season 1 normal not dead Zane so thank you and feel free to share any other Zane thoughts ^_^ SOME OTHER THOUGHTS:

Also I Wanna Argue Some Stuff But I Understand its a Weak Argument Since All of This Context was Just In My Brain (so don't take this as an argument, just as me rambling): I don't want messed up things to happen to Zane and for it to just be ignored. I think if Zane is going to have fucked up things happen to him, as all characters must, its best for it to happen during a season where he actually addresses his feelings about being a robot (learning to accept that he will always be himself, regardless if hes "human" or the "original" or whatever. (thats how I always interpreted his emotions)). But I wouldn't have the other Ninja be very phased by Zane's looks because the whole point is they already love who he is (seasons 1-3 were about getting to know Zane) and now Zane himself just has to learn the physical, robot part of him is okay. Its about person-hood rather than humanity. Because the season focuses around Zane's soul, and because he lost his original body, I feel like I could mess around with his current, temporary body and have fun and make it scary. Because that body should be irrelevant. I understand it possibly being upsetting for an autistic character to be designed like this, but other people I talked to see it the opposite way. They find it comforting for him to look so different but still be himself and be so loved. SO IM ABSOLUTELY NOT saying its wrong to be bothered or to hate it or to feel any way. Just that I personally think it would be cool for Zane to be portrayed with a little spice lol, so thats why I like scary Zane for season 4.

Another Thing I Wannna Say But Is REALLY Hypocritical: (this isnt directed at anyone I just REALLY want to say this) I know I say "this is Zane but scary, he looks like fnaf" so he's obviously dehumanized, but I always felt like "scary" is more of an objective fact. Its an instinct. But what's "not human" is subjective. I think there is a problem with saying anything different from "average" human is dehumanized because that could extend to real people. Lol I know its bad for me to compare FNAF-ass Zane to real people, but I mean he could be real. People can have exposed teeth, and people can be shaped weird. And when someone first sees a person who looks like that they'll probably think "woah those features are scary" by instinct. And that surprise doesn't make someone ableist obviously. But bring that person’s humanity into question is NOT an instinct, and is fucked to shit. This is kinda a bad point for me to make since its about the fictional FNAF Zane I drew, and I am NOT implying ANYONE was thinking like this. [especially not the original asker anon who I am totally forgetting about at this point OOPS]. But I just thought it was an opinion of mine I couldn't go without mentioning when talking about dehumanization and disabilities.

^^^ I think you (anon) understand what I mean and might’ve said the exact same thing as me if you were writing a long ass response? I think this because you started to bring physical disabilities up and you said it was "a little iffy." ^_^ So we agree, but I don't see Zane's relation to real life disabilities as "a little iffy" I see it more like "complicated"? IF THAT DIFFERENCE EVEN MAKES ANY SENSE?????? I feel like a lot of things about Zane are really just complicated and need the right context, rather than the concepts necessarily being wrong -- NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT! THATS THE WHOLE REASON I DO THIS STUPID REWRITE! XD thats why a lot of my rewrite SO FAR has been the same concepts and plot beats, but different dialogue n specifics and such. I like a lot of concepts in Ninjago but I dont think they were presented correctly.....! :( So I guess all we can do is wait and see if I make Zane offensive or not....???

Also something about the memory part - yeah i agree i was surprised no one thought that was weird to make jokes out of his memory issues..... BUT I am like 100% firm on making his memory take longer to come back because I think its stupid how quick Zane was able to recover from literally dying. Like its just dumb to me. Hate it. (also bc memory & soul mechanics is ummm kinda important in my rewrite.... for reasons). Another memory thing btw, I was going to make his original amnesia come from hitting his head in an attack against the Skulkin when they stole his dads corpse, rather than his dad fucking choosing to make him forget. (its a sweet & iconic scene, but Um, WHY?!!!?!?!?!?) He has to follow data recovery instructions he finds in his dads diary. I think in that context it makes moments of memory loss somewhat different for Zane's character? Instead of loss of autonomy associated with disability, its a literal violent loss of autonomy associated with being traumatized by physical force. Idk how to phrase it exactly but I think that makes some vibes different?

Sorry, I think I got really distracted, and I don't know if I responded well to your points. Because uhhhh I think I agree with your stance actually? If I understand correctly? Fuck Ninjago writers for making the robot lose autonomy (a stereotypical robot theme) while also making him seem clearly autistic (NOT A HAPPY THEME FOR AUTISTIC PEOPLE) and not addressing it. And also auuugh Zane with a weird body is a difficult topic - kinda sussy pretty iffy.

Lol anyway idk if this made any sense and I REALLY rambled on you. but this was nice 👉👈 more Zane criticism pls love you and i love zane. i hope u dont feel mad at me because then it would be weird that im saying that lol. if you do feel mad at me tho you can send another ask (ILL TRY TO JUST LISTEN NOT RAMBLE NEXT TIME) but assuming ur chill rn, love you thnx

Take this page, don’t mind cole’s ass.

[fnaf-sxc]

Hey, what has been happening with you? I'm kind of concerned about you...

Alright, lets resume things up, maybe people are lost in what is happening now that I think about it.

Under the cut because…. well… I know not all of you really care, after all that’s been happening.

This last months have been rought in the FNaF Fandom for me.

To begin with, I planned a big storyarc since July, writting and rewritting it with Octy, creating concept art, drawing it, preparing for it, knowing that the month it was to be released will be pretty busy for me.

This storyarc was October2017, it worked for a whole month, I stop creating any other content from the other AUs to concentrate in that one.. and keep it as a secret too, revealing it the last days of the month and warp it up the 31.

As you might now, It took way longer of what I expected to finish that arc, because October-November-December is the last bit of the semester AND end of the year for me, but I still wanted to do it.

I don’t want to sound selfish. But I got hate in the last period and I think I didnt deserve it.

I got a lot of hate asks dressed up as “im a old time follower and i want you to do this”. I got hate when I couldnt upload something one day to the blog, I got hate that called me “lazy”, hate because I wasnt drawing “x” character, hate because I got my request closed, hate because I open commissions, ect.

I got hate for my extra effort. In the last bit of the year.

I dedided to push the blog away from me a little bit, and concentrate on my last works and examns that were coming closer.

Then. Sonic Forces happen.

I’m a Sonic fan. Is one of the first fandom I’ve it, I am a multishipper because of that, my drawing style is inspired in that, ect. Is important for me. I was drawing Sonic gijinkas on 2014 before FNaF was announced! Is par of my life.

When Sonic Mania and Sonic Forces was announced for this year I was… interested and curious about what was this, but It was a low interest, I mean, It didnt draw me to draw Sonic again [or at least to the point of publish it].

Mania came out, it was good, I liked it, I even draw about it.

Forces began to have more news, more clips, more gameplay release. I feel the hype I get when a new pokemon game is announced and info about it is showed.

I got hyped, interested, I began to read theories, I felt the love, happyness of be a sonic fan and remember quotes and events. I began to draw Forces related stuff, I began to post it, I began to wait for news, wait for it, even If i didnt got any chance to play it myself. The Sonic Fandom didnt act mean or suspicious when I began to interact with them, I felt welcomed.

I was busy with my examns, I didnt have the time and energy to draw the arc, I didnt feel the joy, I was getting anon hate that didnt stop comming, even if i close the anon ask option or blocked the IPs. I didn’t have time to hard work on the AU, but I got time to draw unrelated stuff in my short periods of time, so I began to draw Sonic more.

People didn’t like that.

I began to got different kind of asks, asking me why im reemplacing FNaF with Sonic, telling me that I can’t do that, telling me that FNaF make me who I am and I can’t just stop drawing it, mean asks about how I spend my time drawing Sonic related stuff instead of FNaF.

I felt bad. I felt trapped. I felt the “toxic” side of the FNaF Fandom.

I begin to struggle, to hold on. I didnt knew what to do. “I’ve show other of my interests before, I’ve draw other of my fandoms before but nobody told me anything, why now they began to act so mean? Why now that I am on my finals?”

I closed the anon ask option, because I didn’t wanted more shit while I was on my finals. I didn’t wanted to dislike FNaF because of this…

To make it worst, a new FNaF game came out, out of nowhere.

I felt nothing.

I didn’t feel the hype, I didn’t feel the urge of know more. I just saw a lot of people enjoy it, not tag the spoilers, fight for the “who make the designs quickly, who make the ultimate theory quickly, who make the funniest meme quickly

I drew some of the new animatronics, I liked them, I felt relief, I didnt wanted to lost my interest in FNaF. When I open the anon option again, one of the first asks was hate, it was a “get out of here you are only interested because of the hype” kind of stuff. I closed it again.

With the anon option closed, I could start the “slowly but surely” process of feel the joy of FNaF again. Im playing the game, at my own pace, not a “game with all the secrets and ending in 1 hour”. With the anon option closed, no more hate, Im safe from spoilers, I can go at my own pace.

I though in be into Hiatus… but when I finished the October2017 Arc.. and drew Nightmarionne again… I couldn’t, I love it, I love my AU, I like FNaF, I like the people I’ve met in the way.

But my life is not only FNaF, I’m a human being, I can like and enjoy other things if I want to!! I can draw Sonic If i want to!! I dont even mix them up!!

Sighhh…