#im going insane mizuki save me

[suntantism]

just disappear.

[bogbees]

my current plan for drift au is like

Iruka: so here's the training room— oh, pardon us Hatake-san. I thought it'd be empty this time of day

Kakashi: fancy that, so did I

Iruka: ah, well, we'll be leaving then, sorry for the intrusion—

Naruto: hey, hey, what does sparring look like? can you show us? you n Kakashi-sensei

Iruka: i don't know... maybe not today—

Kakashi: ah, why not sensei, let's teach em what disappointment looks like

Iruka: *thousand yard stare* *removes knit sweater to reveal a nearly too tight button up* if you insist

Kakashi obviously gets a bit embarrassed by how hot Iruka looks. mostly the transformation fr goofy pencil pusher to the front page cover for every gay porno mag ever made. plus maybe idk a past infatuation that won't die?

Iruka just wants a chance to smack him upside the head for his rudeness.

whoops. turns out they're extremely drift compatible based off their quick spar. neither have any words. Kakashi is low-key upset he's gonna have to pilot again and kill Iruka this time. Iruka's just surprised by how... right it felt. he tries to cool his nerves, Kakashi interpts it as "oh no the grim reaper is coming for me next" fear, bc he's not aware Iruka might just be genuinely kinda amped up ab being toe-to-toe with a renowned pilot with a lot of kaiju kills. so Kakashi storms off. Iruka tries to calm his brain and his class.

he's ultimately hoping nobody finds out. he won't do well as a pilot, just let him do the paperwork for the base PLEASE.

now. they get hooked up with the actual machine to drift. it's stellar. until Kakashi starts freaking out ab how good it's going. Iruka tries to help but they're already fucked it up a bit.

now I'm thinking. Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura end up taking the new mech. bc their drift results turned out better than Iruka and Kakashi's, but mostly bc they have less opportunity for failure; they're not riddled with depression and chronic illness.

so. Kakashi and Iruka get benched and become newt and herman without intention. like. idk. they finally go insane, try to hide away in a broom closet to make out, only it's the research lab, and with Iruka's book smarts and Kakashi's physical smarts (as in he knows kaiju patterns fr dealing with so many) (and Iruka's hobby is studying up on them in his spare time) they figure out the breech.

im imagining Kakashi trying to fuck Iruka senseless on some desk, only for Iruka to get distracted by the papers and he's like "wait, wait, look at this," effectively killing the mood by distracting the both of them.

i want iruka to be the one to drift with the kaiju??? idk fuuinjutsu feels like a mad scientist sorta deal

Mizuki still attacks Naruto and Iruka still saves his life by offering his own

Ramen. Dandelion yellow hair. Summer. Okinawa beach. Onsen. Bath. Ramen. Ma, Pa. Auntie Kushina. Ramen. School.

???

[beauwinsweep]

endure my autistic rambling (I would normally put this on twitter but god bless tumblr with their no word limit.. I haven’t finished the nightcord story fully yet but im so close too…)

While although personality wise I do think I lean towards more Ena or Mizuki, my issues perfectly align so well with Kanade’s issues.

Kanade has a savior complex, there is no denying that. She wants to save people with her music while ignoring her own problems. (The main root of this is her father issues, which I won’t be explaining unless someone wants me too)

Kanade’s entire life revolves around her music, aka trying to save people with her sound, because she believes she has too.

When she found out her music wasn’t enough to save Mafuyu, she was distraught. But, she is determined to make Mafuyu feel anything but that empty void Mafuyu holds deep within her.

God, she truly cares for Mafuyu, but yet nothing she tries with her music actually WORKS.

But, to give Kanade credit, her determination does pay off! Mafuyu does feel something, yet it’s distant and warm, she doesn’t know what it is exactly, but it works. Which I 100% believe that motivated Kanade even further into saving Mafuyu. She cares SO deeply for her, its insane!

I’m going to be ending this here on Kanade’s personality analysis thing (??) since I have yet to finish reading the story so far.

That’s the reason I relate so heavily to Kanade, is because shes so determined to help one of her best friends, that she doesn’t care that shes getting scorned in the process.

But, Mafuyu IS NOT a bad person. Kanade work ethics and things Mafuyu couldn’t control. She doesn’t truly know the extent of Kanade’s problems. And that’s okay!

I don’t personally find myself getting attached to many people, I‘m not a guy who does that often. I’m attached to maybe three people tops, but I realize I have a tendency of putting those three people’s mental health before me.

Which is something I grown used to, and frankly does NOT affect me as much as it did in 2022-2023. But, I feel an immense failure and extreme guilt if I’m not able to help them. To the point where I have split over it.

My friends are all amazing people, I love each in every one of them, thats why it hits so hard for me if I can’t help them. Similar to Kanade and Mafuyu relationship.

God there’s so much I could say but I dont have words for it rn so ill be back

Multiple oomfs and I (I’m Kanade)

[ru-bwee]

bwee insanity below my once a week autism paragraph

i mean it so much when i mean twilight light is a masterpiece by the way. its so soft and warm. despite the suffering and pain nightcord will stay together and make music throughout it all.. part of the song is basically a message to come to the SEKAI if you are feeling alone in the world

also the chorus. ough. they connect they hands at night.. at 2500...

the 2dmv equally ruins me... the butterflies flying free from the cage (later on in the MV) into the sekai.. mafuyu running away and heading to kanade and nightcord.. the butterfly goes to sekai.. the apple heart again.... the phone in the water... also. mizuki going "will i be able to face it someday?" as a connecting lyric. i will kill all of you with my autism.

25-ji nightcord de has ruined and saved me at the same tme.. im so normal about them...

just teared up a little bit at twilight light . nightcord kileld my family