#im glad it rlly wasnt all just me in the end

[failbrothers]

finally figuring out ur dad is a narcissist is such a wild ride

[jaemified]

major, minor, and the things in between - nishimura riki

"are we friends, lovers, or whatevers in between?"

pairing ; nishimura riki x fem!reader

genre ; slice of life, enemies to lovers-ish (y/ns mean to riki smh), romance, drama, fluff, small angst, non idol au

warnings ; swearing, drinking, brief mention of blood (someone gets cut), mention of offing yourself but its just niki making a joke

wordcount ; 7.0k

synopsis ; though never quite well acquainted, sim y/n had always felt strongly against nishimura riki, until her brother jake had forced them to get along. but, what was meant to have them get closer turns into something a little more.

note (5/29) - there isnt rlly much mention of jake/nikis actual siblings but for one scene theirs like additional (baby) siblings

note (7/10) - its finally here!! im a little upset it took me 2 months to write 7k since i used to be able to write 4k in 8hrs but summer has been kicking my ass so im glad its out despite being 10 days past release date

taglist 🏷️ ; @stinkoscope @asyleums

read below the cut !

"'when im with you, i.. im so happy. i like you, na bora!' 'i like you. i like you too! i really really like you!'" y/n cried at her computer screen, rewatching 20th century girl for the 2nd time this week, before being so rudely interrupted by her brothers presence, bugging her with the same, repetitive question. the same question hes been asking for years on end now.

"the guys are coming over and of course you know niki is gonna be here as well. i want you to talk to him. why cant you just be friends?"

"id appreciate it a lot if youd leave, this is my space."

"i dont know if you noticed, but this is a small flat with not much room to move around. its not only you living here you know." jake reminded.

of course y/n knew there was limited space, she knew the moment she first realized she had already circled about the unit, trying to escape her brothers nagging.

"if you know theres not enough room for you and me then what makes you think theres room to accommodate an additional 6 other grown ass men. go to your room, im doing homework.'

'annoying..'

"you were literally just crying watching 20th century girl milliseconds before i walked in, and im not asking much y/n! all i want is for you to talk to him, even pretend like youre getting along, thats it!" jake remarked, before catching the pillow y/n attempted to throw at his face.

'so damn annoying.' y/n thought, growing more and more annoyed by her brothers constant nagging as each second passed.

"whats so hard about getting along with niki? hes a good kid!" jake complained. since his little sister couldnt get along with one of his best friends, it made even the intimate gatherings.. unpleasantly awkward.

"hes annoying, like you are being right now."

"no, why do you really hate him so much."

"i dont know! he just reminds me of someone i guess? and he always cheated on projects back in middle school. even stole my ideas so he could make it look like im in the wrong."

"thats it? youre holding a grudge over him just being a middle school kid from, what, 5 years ago? cmon, theres gotta be something better then that. not to mention even if there wasnt, that makes you sound hella dumb holding a grudge from the 7th grade when youre graduating next year."

y/n thought to herself. of course there was another reason, but it seemed unnecessary to bring up. and she also just didnt want to share it with jake. or maybe, it wasnt the right reason after all.

"well hes cocky as hell and is still a better dancer, basketball player, volleyball player then i, not to mention ive been playing longer and layla likes him more then she likes me!"

"thats your fault youre never home, laylas just more used to him. and me. i am clearly her favorite between you and i."

"more like his fault hes practically living in my apartment cause hes never at his own home. and how can she be more used to him when ive known her since way before she met riki.."

"tough luck." jake pat y/n on the head on his way out before shutting the door.

__________________________________________

the sound of the doorbell awoke y/n from her, well, what was meant to be a quick nap (which later turned into a 4 hour sleep). just as she slowly got out of bed to answer it, she heard jake yell from down the hall, "ive got it! make sure you dont look stupid or anything in front of my friends!"

she rolled her eyes and climbed back into bed, thinking about her outfit. standard pajamas, plaid shorts and a black tee (which probably wasnt even hers). she thought about how the one person out of the 6 she didnt want to see would be out there. truth be told, even she herself didnt know the best explanation as to why she hated riki so much. y/n figured it was because of a little mishap back during freshmen year and she just couldnt bring herself to apologize for everything that had been said during that time, so she forced herself to continue hating him. 'yeah, seems about right.'

the sound of the door opening caught her attention and the next thing she knew, there was a boy in a cream essentials hoodie jumping onto her.

"oh shit, what the f-"

"hi y/nnn!" sunoo smiled, carefully getting off his best friend.

y/n was in joy once she realized who it was, and brought him into a tight hug.

"hey sunoo! god it feels like forever since i last saw you!"

it was really only a week.

"i know right! its been too long!"

she smiled, no matter what mood she was in, sunoo always was the sunshine in the rain.

"so, whos here?"

"oh, you know the usual. sunghoon, heeseung, jake, and jay hyung. niki and jungwon are supposed to be setting up something in the courtyard."

"setting up what?"

"a volleyball net. jake was on nikis ass all week and wanted him to 1v1 you while we all played basketball. jungwon just wanted to help however he could, hes been tired all week from his job and the dance program."

no fucking way.

"youre saying i have to be alone, with nishimura riki? hell no!"

"isnt it great?" "this is a disaster!" they both exclaimed in unison.

"how is that bad?" "how is this good?!"

sunoo signaled for y/n to continue first. "i just cant stand riki. jakes been on my ass to talk to him but i didnt think hed actually talk to him, or that hed even listen either."

"seriously? i always thought you had a thing for him. i mean, you look good together, you both share mainly the same interests, mainly the same circle, not to mention the undeniable love you have when your eyes meet-"

"okay thats enough! you know what, how bout we go outside, im hungry anyway."

sunoo shrugged and went along with y/n down the hall.

he was slightly surprised when he saw niki and jungwon sitting on the couch, having a sip of their drinks.

"back already? i thought you were setting up the nets."

"yeah, but it was easier then expected. and we didnt even need to go to the lobby for the stuff. it was all already in the courtyard." jungwon told the two with a smile, proud of their work.

"y/n." niki looked at her with that stupid grin she had always hated.

"nishimura."

"i didnt know youd be here." he observed, ignoring how she had addressed him by his last name instead of niki, or riki.

she scoffed, crossing her arms.

"i live here dipshit. you think id run away just cause i knew you were coming?"

niki got up from his seat and walked closer, and closer, until their faces were mere centimeters away.

"just like you ran from all our problems in freshmen year huh?"

"you realize it was all because of what you did, dont you?"

it took niki a minute to notice how close they were. he looked down at her lips before realizing what sunoo and jungwon were saying in the background. "are they about to kiss?"

"hell no!" y/n and niki both yelled out in unison, quickly pushing away from each other.

"whatever. i need to use the bathroom, i cant stand seeing your face." she remarked to niki.

as soon as y/n closed the bathroom door, she let out a breath she never knew she was holding in, slowly trying to register what had just happened. 'did i really almost kiss him.'

minutes after being stuck in the bathroom for so long, she left and walked into the main living space, only to notice everyone was gone.

well, almost everyone.

"are you serious."

y/n dryly stared at the boy sitting on her couch, in her spot, watching her favorite show.

"i forgot you were still here." niki yawned.

"where is everyone?"

"did you seriously not hear them say theyre gonna get food and that theyll be back in.. three hours or more?"

"three hours or more? it does not take that long to get food, youre fucking with me." y/n walked into hers and jakes individual bedrooms to see if anyone was hiding from her, to her dismay, niki wasnt lying.

"it does if youre getting food from busan."

"why the fuck are they going all the way to busan for food??"

"language! my young ears cant take this!"

"shut up nishimura youre only 11 days younger."

"more like 11 years at heart cause you act like a grumpy old lady all the time.."

"whatd you just call me?"

"nothing!"

"so why are they going all the way to busan for food again?" y/n reminded, getting niki back on track.

"cause they got a friend whos house is down there and hes in town for the weekend, they said theyll bring us home our own order."

y/n walked into the kitchen, rummaging for food.

"what are you doing now?"

"looking for food, im gonna die if i see your ugly ass face any longer."

"what are you on about 'ugly'? girls at school love this face."

"and apparently you loved those girls too much in return.."

niki got up from the couch and walked over to the kitchen bar, sitting down. "are you still mad at me about that?"

she stopped what she was doing and looked at niki, not saying anything, hoping it was enough of an answer.

"so you are." 'so he isnt all that dumb'

"look, i didnt know she had bad intentions, and you were right, i shouldve listened to you. but you really have to stop avoiding me. how was i supposed to tell you i didnt realize what she was trying to do if you keep running away?"

"how do you not realize no matter how many times i warned you?"

"i thought you did it because you were jealous."

"i did it because i loved you!"

niki froze, thinking he was crazy, thinking maybe he hadnt heard right.

"you what?"

"past tense. loved, not love. and how could you think so badly of me? we were supposed to trust each other, always tell the truth, and you thought i told you she would end up using you was because you thought i was jealous? how could you?"

he sighed, thinking about what he had done, realizing how badly he had mistreated y/n in the past, realizing there was no reversing it. he walked into the kitchen where y/n was, backing her into the corner as the kitchen was just as small as the apartment itself.

"get away from me!" she yelled, throwing ramen packet after ramen packet at niki.

"no. i know i havent been the best to you-" "more like you know youve been the worst."

niki glared at y/n.

"-and i know theres no reversing it. i realize i cant undo the past, but what i can do, is fix our future. i want to show you i can be better to you then i was then. we can be what we used to be before, us. our spark."

"there is no us, or we, or, our. but maybe just you, caught up in your daydreams." y/n pushed niki out the way, and walked out the kitchen, not noticing she was slowly being followed.

"i loved you too you know. except for the fact that i still do."

"can you just please leave." she turned around, now facing him.

her vision blurred, head dizzy, face stained, all as her glass like tears trickled down her cheeks.

"hey, its okay. dont cry."

"get away from me!"

niki attempted to hug y/n as she fought against him, trying to run from his grasp, struggling to no avail. she eventually fell still in his hold, forgetting its natural warmth and comfort.

"im sorry for everything." was the last thing y/n heard before falling asleep, growing tired and stressed from everything that had just happened.

__________________________________________

it was late at night by the time everyone else had come back, 2am to be exact. traffic was unusually heavy though it was a saturday night, not to mention the designated driver and his understudy (heeseung and sunghoon. yikes, scary night) ended up being the most wasted while everyone else was still tipsy. poor jungwon, still tired from a 4 hour nap after being on 2 hours of sleep all day, had to drive everyone through the slow traffic.

jake, who was slightly sobering up, turned on the lights in the dark room and dimmed them as his head was still throbbing. he walked into the living room and saw y/n, fast asleep with her head on nikis shoulder with his arm around her as he finished the rest of avengers endgame.

jake knew his sister well enough to know she had been crying once he focused on her puffy red eyes. but, it was a sweet moment, y/n was passed out, niki was barely conscious, and everyone was painfully drunk or achey. he figured he would just yell at riki for whatever happened in the morning.

sunghoon and heeseung ran into the kitchen (as best they could without tipping over) for water, jungwon had knocked out as soon as he sat down in the chair next to y/n, jay was busy trying to figure out how to use jakes water filter, and sunoo was sitting at the kitchen bar eating a pudding cup.

jay called for jakes help, just as his eyes had fluttered shut. begrudgingly so, jake got up and helped the three boys it the kitchen. "you press the bottom button, not the top button. the top is for ice."

"thanks." "yeah whatever."

"i know youre tired hyung, but so are we. where are we all supposed to sleep?" sunoo quietly asked, putting his hand on jakes shoulder.

he thought, looking at the three sprawled out in the living room, and the three bubbling nonsense in the kitchen. "jay and sunghoon can stay with me, ill move niki and y/n to her room, you can stay in the living room with jungwon and heeseung hyung. but move jungwon to the couch since he drove everyone."

"thanks-" sunoo cut himself off as he heard the sound of jakes receding footsteps.

__________________________________________

morning came, and though it wasnt a good one, y/n wanted to remedy that. or, remedy the nasty hangover she knew everyone would be experiencing.

she had woken up with her eyes puffy and red, and even though she didnt want to get up she knew she would have to eventually.

"is that hangover soup i smell?" jake asked tiredly, rubbing his eyes as he walked out his room.

"well i know riki doesnt know how to cook and jungwons still asleep. so who else would be making it?" y/n flashed a tired smile, pouring a serving for jake.

"so, why were you crying last night? and dont say you werent or that you just didnt sleep well. ive lived with you long enough now to tell the difference between your 'i didnt get enough sleep' eyes, and your 'i was crying pretty hard' eyes." he interrogated as he took a big sip of the soup. so good he almost felt better already.

"what did he tell you? or were you watching me?"

"he didnt tell me anything, he was already asleep by the time we came back. i just saw the look on your face and knew."

"just reminiscing on some bad times is all."

jake raised a brow at his sister, taking another sip.

"you dont have to tell me now if you dont want to. but i do want to hear about everything. later. when my head isnt pounding like when i heard mom push you out in the emergency room. after i take a nap. and when youve bought jungwon some coffee."

"me? why do i have to buy him coffee? im not the one who drove him because the designated drivers were too wasted."

"we typically treat him to an iced americano since hes always up taking care of us when were drunk, but we havent gotten this wasted in a while. and he spent so long getting sunghoon out the house, not to mention the long drive to the point he ended up falling asleep as soon as we got back."

y/n thought about it before mumbling a, "tough luck" to jake, patting him on the back before walking into her bedroom.

she was met with the sight of niki making the bed as she walked in. "when did you wake up?" she quietly asked.

"not too long ago, you?"

"about an hour ago. i had to cook for them."

"ah. did you sleep well? i know sleeping upright on the couch mustve been a lot less comfortable then this."

"i guess. i dont remember waking up to walk here though. jake probably carried me."

"he was way wasted, snoring loudly way before i woke up. how else do you think you got here?"

it took a minute for it to click in y/ns mind when she realized it was niki who took her to the room and slept next to her. this whole time, she thought it was her brother who lent his own room to his friends.

"of course not, he just asked me to help or make sure you got to bed safely and that i could stay with you since there was nowhere else."

'that bastard.. ill kill him one of these days. im surprised i havent already.' she spoke to herself in her head.

"so. are we good now?" niki questioned, walking over to the other side of the room.

"how can you ask me such a thing after making me relive one of the worst memories of high school ive ever had?"

"it wasnt my intention. i was just trying to explain-" "theres nothing to explain when i had already given you multiple warnings. thats on you."

y/n threw a pillow at niki and walked away, back outside.

"what was that all about?" sunghoon asked, taking a sip of the coffee he had just made. 'where did he get silk pajamas from. are- are those mine?'

"what?"

"not to bother, but i mean, you were kind of yelling." heeseung explained to y/n.

she let out a sigh, rubbing her forehead in stress.

"i dont want to talk about it right now. i- actually. you know what? ill be back."

"where are you going?" sunoo asked y/n, following her to her room just as niki walked out.

"somewhere, not sure yet. dont follow me."

"i wont, i know how much you value your alone time but- oh youre changing. hold on ill turn around. but please be safe. when will you be back?"

sunoo turned back around and saw she had changed into beige cargos and a white crop top. realizing he was staring, he looked around the room, before a certain picture caught his eyes. he walked closer to get a better look. it was baby jake feeding yogurt to baby y/n. 'awe, they were always close werent they.' he hadnt even realized y/n was talking to him, and by the time he faced where y/n was standing, she had already left out the front door.

y/n🤨; srry, u were so immersed in that picture of jake and i as kids, but i rlly wanted to leave. i cant handle being around niki. see u l8r

sunoo😴 ; no worries, have fun, stay safe, and dont take any candy from strangers lol

__________________________________________

y/n drives to her favorite cafe she always used to visit with her brother, mama han's. she sits down at the bar and scrolls deep into her camera roll, coming across some mundane memories of her and riki back when they were close.

"what can i get you, hun?" the waitress, jiwoo, asked with a small grin. she didnt look to be any younger than 40 something now, compared to the last time she visited the spot. jiwoo was always the waitress here, even served the two frequently in their childhood when they visited from australia.

"just a vanilla shake is all. extra whip please."

"sweetie, arent you lactose? it must be pretty bad if you want extra dairy."

"yeah, it is. but, im not comfortable talking about it at the moment if thats alright."

"of course it is. just hope youre doing okay." jiwoo pat y/n on the shoulder, before reaching down to get the ingredients.

"hows your brother? havent seen either one of you in a while."

"hes well, a little hungover, but hes fine."

jiwoo laughed as she poured milk into the blender. "of course. what more to expect from your brother. well, how are you? i realized i didnt really ask."

"im alright. and, do you remember niki?"

"little niki from when you were kids? the one you used to like- oh dear, dont tell me hes the reason as to why youre so down?"

"long story, but yeah. its fine though, ill deal with it. but what about you, whats going on? did you ever pursue your dream as an actress?"

"no, and i regret not going for it. i didnt get to be in stairway to heaven, but shinhye and taehee did though. which is why you need to go for what you want, otherwise you really will regret it." jiwoo advised, adding the cherry on top of the extra whip prior to sliding the glass over to y/n.

"so i should forgive him?"

"if its what you want. though i dont know the backstory, i do know that as long as its something you want then its worth a shot. the worst he can say is no, you know?"

"yeah.. oh and jiwoo, can i get a chocolate shake to go?"

"no problem, just give me 4 minutes. and- oh dont worry about it, put your card away! its on the house."

___________________________________________

y/n heard her phone buzz in the center console as she pulled into an empty parking lot. she turned the engine off the car and pulled out her phone.

sim jaeyun ; Can you come home

Y/n Sim ; can u stop using caps

sim jaeyun ; I don't think it matters but okay

sim jaeyun ; can you stop disappearing whenever you're mad at someone

Y/n Sim ; can you change my name so its not in caps

sim jaeyun ; can you stop changing the topic and just drive back because niki wants to talk to you and i was getting worried

Y/n Sim ; can u change my name

'sim jaeyun' has changed your display name to 'y/n sim'

y/n sim ; i bought u a shake from jiwoos

sim jaeyun ; no you didn't she probably got it to you for free

y/n sim ; cz im her fav sim

sim jaeyun ; im going to tell all the guys about how you pissed yourself at disneyland on splash mountain

y/n sim ; driving home rn

sim jaeyun ; no texting while driving love u

y/n sim ; lyt

she let out a small laugh at her brothers texts. she quickly got out the car, taking some pictures of the sunset for her instagram, and posting it, before driving out as the milkshake was beginning to melt.

niki got the alert y/n had posted and pressed the notification at the top of his screen. he didnt miss how the caption referenced wave to earth as it was always their favorite band to listen to together.

@/05sim_y/nn ; how can my day be bad when im with u? - [9m ago]

liked by @/02sim_ikeuu, @/suniskim, and 99 others - 20 comments

@/rikimura has liked this post ! [now]

___________________________________________

after getting back home and taking a relaxing shower (thanks to everyone leaving 2 hours prior), y/n had continued to keep herself up at night for the past week before deciding it was time to talk to riki.

she pushed her feelings aside, waking up on a random wednesday morning at the crack of dawn then randomly told herself 'ive got to do this, for my brothers sake and our friend group.' (or so she unconvincingly tried to convince herself, but thats already another thing she didnt want to get into at the moment) y/n quickly threw on whatever clothes she could gather laying about the floor, then ran to grab her car keys and hurry out the door.

as soon as she swung the big piece of metal open, she was met with the familiar sight of nishimura riki knowing when hes done wrong, his guilty face, with his hand raised and ready to knock.

"what are you doing here at the ass crack of dawn?"

"what are you doing ready to run out your apartment like its the olympics as the ass crack of dawn?" he responded to her question with a question, with the intent of knowing how much she hated it.

"actually, i was about to leave to see you. i think its time we had a talk. you know, after my.. moment, that i had last week."

"yeah. i know. its not your fault i realize now, or, im telling you that but ive realized it since the moment i lost you. i think-"

niki was interrupted by jake shouting from across the flat, "if youre gonna finally have this talk i think you should go somewhere else! can you leave soon? 'cause my girlfriends gonna come over at like 12!"

"i seriously doubt any place is open for us to be going to at 5:41 in the morning." y/n yelled in response.

"you know well mama han's is open now, and jiwoo works day and night, just go there so i can be alone!" "for 7 hours?"

niki laughed in response as he registered what jake and y/n were arguing over.

"what girlfriend?-" "-talking stage, technically, but he says theyre dating because she accidentally kissed his cheek on their first date when reaching to grab something near him."

"i remember her lips on my skin like it was yesterday, meanwhile you have yet to kiss niki." jake scoffed in english, the words flowing smoothly off his tongue with his accent before walking closer towards where y/n was standing.

"gross. if anything her accidentally very barely brushing her lips against your stupid face is the only action youll ever be getting if you keep trying to get rid of your one and only favorite little sister." y/n muttered in response, slightly ignoring niki muttering about how he thinks y/ns accent sounds cute.

"really?"

-

and so y/n found herself driving to mama han's cafe with niki after jake called their eldest brother, complaining she should listen to him because shes younger and if she wouldnt listen to jake himself then maybe she would listen to her older-older brother.

"you should listen to your older siblings but jake, if you had someone coming over you shouldve told her in advance. and what are you even gonna do alone for 6 hours??"

after being seated and placing their orders, niki brought back the conversation from earlier that had sort of been killed by jake.

"i get it, youre mad at me, and i shouldve listened to you. i know i fucked up and i know you see it too. i get it if you dont want to forgive me yet, or if you ever even will. but when you decide we could be good, im always here for you."

"why would i be here if i hadnt been prepared to forgive you?"

"huh?"

"i seriously question how dense you are sometimes."

"thanks for believing in me."

"no problem, but seriously. i forgive you. as much as i hate to admit it since i know youll use it against me, but i kinda missed having you around. i mean, you were my first love among other things but you were also one of my first and closest friends. it wont always be the same but im sure if we try enough we can get pretty damn close."

"god have you always been so philosophical?"

the two burst into laughter together, smiling as they took a sip of their milkshakes, reminiscing on the times they had spent together in their earlier high school years. it was moments like these that they has missed the most.

by far the most fun together (said niki), by far the most fun theyve had in a while (said y/n) after having spent the morning together, discussing and going over whats happened in the past few hours before going to pay. "ive got it," niki said, pulling out his card. "its the least i can do."

"thank you for today. i know i was hard on you but i needed this."

"no worries, i think ive owed you for a long time now right?"

"i need to do something in here real quick. you mind waiting in the car?"

"wait are you gonna be okay? i dont wanna leave you here alone."

"im a regular here, i know the people. its fine."

"are you sure?"

"if you go ill let you have the aux."

thats all it took for niki to run straight for the car, rushing to open the door.

y/n laughed as she saw him waving from the passengers seat, before going to talk to jiwoo who was busy wiping down the counters. she took a seat at the bar and felt comfort as jiwoo flashed the same smile she always would throughout y/ns childhood.

"thats a hell of a boy youve got there. special one isnt he?"

"you could say that in the very least. hes definitely special to me though."

"thats the boy you were tellin my sister about? he aint from round here, that right?" an distinct, familiar, voice spoke from the back kitchen.

"auntie jiwon?" y/n questioned in shock.

jiwon is jiwoos sister, she also used to work at the cafe just as much as jiwoo did. had been a favoritre of the customers including the sims themselves before moving to the countryside, only popping up on occasion. jake would call jiwon auntie since she was older and it had also grown on y/n.

"thats my name isnt it?" she chuckled as y/n ran up to hug her.

"wow, i cant believe it. i havent seen you in like, 7 years!"

"been a long time right? well, im just down here for a short while before i gotta go back. just here for a weddin and thought to visit my sister at work."

"thats great auntie, too bad you arent here for longer."

"yeah, well. thats what happens when you get 3 divorces and run out of money, that right jiwoo? but, seriously, whats with that boy of yours? he dont seem to be from here."

"hes not, hes from japan, for the dance academy we all go to."

"that explains a bunch. i always knew youd be a dance. you have quite the physique for it, no?"

jiwoo interrupted jiwon from rambling on the way she always would, quickly seeing y/ns desire to leave as she has other things to tend to.

"alright well, im sure y/n has plenty of things to do as do we, so we all really should be going. its about time for the regulars to start coming in." jiwoo awkwardly laughed as she too seemingly forgot her sisters idiosyncratic personality.

"you dont want to spend time with your auntie jiwon is it? kids nowadays have no sort of respect for their elders. you could drive a preacher to drink!"

y/n awkwardly cleared her throat and put on a smile, frozen in a sort of way as auntie jiwon hadnt seemed to be the same as she was 8 years ago.

"oh im only joking now! go on then, ill just see you in another 8 years." she sighed, overexaggerating the moment.

"its not like youre her real aunt anyway." jiwoo muttered, yet jiwon heard it.

"like your supposed to be? what are you to her anyway?"

"someone whos around of course! i practically raised her and babysitted her on top of running a restaurant with my own children whenever her parents would be in office from dusk till dawn with her brother busy at school with his own life."

"i was there too you know! she would tell me things she never told you."

"she only told you things because you made her! she was scared of you!" jiwoo rolled her eyes at jiwon before quickly gesturing for y/n to go.

"what are you doing- where is she going?" "somewhere where youre not."

-

as y/n go back into the car, she slightly scared niki in the middle of a game.

"what happened in there? looked kinda tense. never seen the other lady before."

"jiwoos sister. shes kinda crazy and possessive and scary. didnt even know she came back."

"maybe we should go.. shes kinda walking towards the car so i suggest to step on the gas."

"shit- shes what??"

------------------------------------------------------

within the next few months, niki and y/n drew closer to one another like they were before.

it was only a matter of time before their unresolved feelings for one another began to surface, yet they continued to push it down with all their might, not wanting to ruin anything like before.

so here y/n was, watching some random kdrama out of boredom, completely uninterested before she received a text from niki.

nishimura ; help

sim ; with what

nishimura ; baysitinf

sim ; the fuck

nishimura ; hold - my brother just took my phone

sim ; babysitting?

nishimura ; yes pls

nishimura ; jake literally js dropped off ur sister here while my brother was having a hyper thingy

nishimura ; hes just very hyper

nishimura ; send a swat team.

sim ; i dont rlly wanna watch sarang tho😐

nishimura ; BUT ITS UR SISTER??

sim ; yea but she’s a headache i have to deal with that like every weekend

sim ; i gave her to jake so i can have a free day just for her to bounce back to me😒 sim ; i hate guys named jake

nishimura ; thats what u get for abandoning a 5 year old

sim ; then im not helping

nishimura ; that lego set i bought you arrived today

sim ; see u in 20

and so here y/n found herself driving towards nikis apartment, reminding herself to lecture her brother once they both get home.

“good thing you came otherwise i mightve actually killed myself.”

“this better be good, i dropped crash landing on you for this.”

with that, niki stepped aside to point at the kids behind him without breaking eye contact with y/n, not wanting to look inside only to furrow his brows as she tilted her head in confusion.

“is this a joke?” she scoffed.

“what are you talking about?” his jaw dropped once he saw sarang and hiro getting along together just fine, completing some puzzle together. “i swear they werent getting along and hiro was just bouncing off the walls, plus sarang was like having a meltdown about ice cream!”

y/n slightly grinned then spoke, “you look fine. they look more then fine. you don’t need my help. did you just want an excuse to see me?”

“no! i- i mean i kinda wanted to see you but that’s not why- i, ughh!”

y/n held back a small laugh at nikis frustration before she heard the two kids watching them giggle adoringly at their older siblings.

“riki has a girlfriend!” “y/n has a boyfriend!” hiro and sarang exclaimed in excitement.

“im going home.”

“absolutely not.” y/n groaned in annoyance while niki pulled her into the house by grabbing onto her shoulder.

“so.” he awkwardly started, rubbing the back of his neck nervously with the palm of his hand.

“so??”

“about yesterday.”

“what about it.”

“we’re good right?”

“of course we are.” she reassured.

just as niki was able to reply, sarang began to cry loudly, like she saw a monster in her closet or something.

“what happened?”

“i cut myself!” she cried, showing the skin between her fingers. her and hiro had been doing small arts and crafts for the past hour, so she has hurt herself with the scissors.

“just put a bandaid on and ice it.” y/n rolled her eyes, shaking her head while not even bothering to look up from her phone.

“you’re so mean y/n unnie!” sarang pouted before holding her ‘injured’ hand up to nikis face.

“what is this, the school nurse? you gotta be a more helpful sister then that.”

“i am helpful. i asked her what happened then gave her a solution.”

“but you were so mean to her.”

“im teaching her to be tough! our parents were hard on me and my brothers, so we have to be hard on her.”

“but you aren’t your parents. you’re y/n.”

“but what if i don’t want to be just y/n?”

“well, then that’s not something you can control. you’re you whether you like it or not. you gotta learn to accept life as it is. that’s what really being hard on yourself is, and that’s what it does to you.”

niki goes over to sarang to pick her up and carry her over to the kitchen. he sets her on the counter and grabs a pastel flower print bandaid before placing a small kiss onto where he placed the bandaid.

he coos at her lovingly, with him who’d always seen her as his own sister having had watching her grow up since she was born despite her not really remembering much of him.

y/n felt her heart melt as she saw how good he was with her baby sister.

she got up from her seat to go over where they were, wrapping her arms around nikis waist to envelop him with into a warm back hug, pressing her head into the space between his shoulder and neck, letting it rest there.

“mean unnie.” sarang stuck out her tongue at y/n, pushing her face away from niki as she stuck out her tongue back.

“what are you, 5?”

“no but she is.”

niki sighed before pulling away (he really didnt want to but you didnt need to know that) grabbing his car keys, and picking up his brother.

“let’s go for some ice cream.”

so here you were, sitting at the local ice cream parlor together.

niki’s face turned as he watched you absolutely devour those three scoops (scoups) of mint chip.

“i seriously dont see how you could eat that. it tastes like toothpaste.”

“why are you talking when you’re eating plain vanilla.”

“hey, sometimes basic is better!”

“well you don’t have to like mint then. ‘cause me and this kid do!” she jokingly replied, hugging said kid (hiro) while niki and sarang rolled their eyes with their vanilla cones.

“hate to be a bother, but you guys are such a cute little family. youre just like me with my kids when they were still young. and, little girl, you really have your fathers eyes.” an elder women from a table across the parlor smiled, patting y/n and niki on the shoulder as she ignored her husbands remarks “stop disturbing the little couple!”

“do we really look like a family?”

“sort of, if you really think about it.”

“okay but she had to be lying because your eyes look nothing like sarangs.”

“i mean.. if you look closely enough.”

“you aren’t even korean!”

they laughed together, for the first time in a while.

“okay, but on a serious note. what are we? are we friends, lovers, or whatever’s in between?”

“i mean.. I guess for now, in between.”

“please date y/n unnie! shes sooo lonely and boring.” sarang interrupted, tugging on nikis sleeve.

“yeah! and i want more playdates with sarang!” hiro pouted, looking up with puppy eyes at y/n.

niki laughed at the kids’ reactions, before taking y/ns hand into his.

“well, no matter what you decide, let’s see where this takes us. they seem to be up for it anyway.”

“you’re right. alright, fine. but if you fuck this up again, you realize you’re not getting another chance, right?”

“i promise i won’t hurt you again. it already cost me everything last time.”

“glad you’re aware.” she bitterly mumbled.

“so. you will date me then?”

“ill think about it.”

[perfectlyfinespacebacon]

everything now netflix

some spoilers!! and apologies for the long post.

i honestly really enjoyed it! it was almost like a skins/euphoria but imbued with like a heartstopper/sex education vibe in the sense that it dealt with serious teenage issues/mental health but light enough that it doesn't weigh down on you. my character thoughts:

mia was so infuriating almost at all times. obviously under the circumstances, it makes sense but there's this level of likeability that was missing for me. maybe it was the writing or the acting who knows but in my mind it's like this: im making an albeit an unfair comparison to effy from skins or even rue from euphoria, but they were battling their demons and making all the wrong choices but there was still this level of “i want to root for them” that's missing with mia personally.

in a similar vein with alison, she is meant to be this popular rich mean girl archetype who surprises you but obviously in the first half of the season she's supposed to be kind of unlikeable but i found her very endearing. as for the relationship, alison and mia DO NOT belong together. like at all. i am not rooting for them. alison in a way forced a relationship with mia and then also mia was like too scared to say anything about it. its clear that alison liked mia waaaaay more than mia liked alison. like carli says in the last ep as well, “to learn to not be a fantasy to each other”, alison needs to take mia off this pedastal she has for her. i'm very interested to learn more about her character outside of mia though if they hopefully continue the show. i have a feeling that we are supposed to think that she and cameron hooked up at the end or something but i'm rlly hoping its a red herring.

carli is also a character i would love to learn more about. she definitely has more chemistry with mia and i love her for standing her ground against mia, as she needs to help herself before she can be in a healthy relationship. but i will say it was pretty shitty stringing cameron along.

speaking of cameron, i didn't quite expect to like his character as much as i did. in a way his arc in the season is battling toxic masculinity as he kinda seems to come off as this laid back, bro kinda guy but he cares and loves so deeply. it wasn't right calling bec a "sket". i'm not british but obviously its like equivalent to slut, and im very glad he owned up to it. i'm also really interested to know more about his family and stuff.

i love bec as well. she deserves all the happiness in the world. im glad she was able to air out her things with mia, albeit in a very treacherous way and i also love how her mom was supportive of the abortion. i'm honestly kinda tired seeing the mom kicking out the daughter for getting pregnant trope so it was nice to see a mom just being supportive. bec is just such a wonderful friend and mia honestly has a lot to make up for. re not telling mia about her and cam, it was honestly frustrating seeing mia be so petty. i understand that its a big secret and she felt like everyone was hiding things from her but its also right to have secrets amongst friends, idk that really stuck out to me.

will for me had the weakest arc as in it wasn't the most interesting to me. don't get me wrong, i love the character but it just wasnt giving a whole lot to me. i recognize him as more than the comic relief but also at the same time he was stirring the pot in a lot of the arguments / blowups the group had, consciously and unconsciously. though i will say will x theo <3 but comedic duo of the century is will x alison. the little song they did for mia's birthday is stuck in my head.

tldr; great characters and great show. it's really hard to find a show about teens as a 25yo living in a 16yo body that i enjoy and don't find annoying. i just love how each character was able to be so nuanced despite being an ensemble cast.

but knowing netflix's track record it's gonna get cancelled because a) it's good b) has wlw content... but i really hope not.

[ppnuggie]

Apologies for the previous asks

For the Rung ask And the slap a note ask, will you still be able to do them with human reader please? And the bots in both use a holoform, so they are the same size as the human

I'm sorry once again

　　　　　　RUNG x gn reader

　　　　��　rung ,, gender neutral reader 』

　　-> picnic date w/ rung <3

　　— fluff ,, sfw ,, lil crack ,, bro experiences sour lemonade

　　— its alr :D but please keep it in mind if you request in the future :3 i only did the rung one because i didnt rlly understand the other request . made it a oneshot ,, feel free to reblog or give any comments / feedback ! <3 i enjoy reading them and seeing my work spread !

        it wasnt quite like earth ,, but it was still nice . being here with rung and introducing him to some customs from your world . and it had been a minute since you'd last gone on a picnic . air warm with a chill breeze rustling against the organic plants covering the ground . almost like grass ,, yet less itchy and more soft . not to mention the vibrant purple color . the sky was green ,, a contrast to the rest of the planets warm colored flora . almost reminding you of halloween in a way ,, with its greens ,, purples ,, and oranges . when was the last time you had celebrated halloween ? or been to a halloween party ? you couldnt even recall how long youve been aboard the lost light ,, with how much things have happened .

" (y/n) ? are you feeling alright ?" his hand settled on your shoulder ,, voice smooth and soothing to your ears . it was nice ,, having someone to care and check up on you for once . being aboard the lost light ,, the most you would get for that would be from the medics making sure you didnt break a bone doing something silly and unthought of . " yeah ,, just taking in the sights ." you smiled to the man ,, rung ,, your hand coming to meet his on your shoulder . the psychiatrist nodded with a smile ,, picnic blanket by his side as you both started to walk up the hillside . it wasnt too steep ,, yet it did pose a bit of a challenge .

his hand slid off your shoulder ,, yours following in pursuit and entangling with his . slim fingers tucked in between your own ,, his hand more warm than yours . how such a little gesture made your heart pick up ,, feeling your face heat as you treasured the feeling . it had been too long since you had felt the touch of another ,, let alone a human . even if he wasnt really human ,, it did heal your lonely and touch starved heart . the need and want of another starting to fill slowly the longer youre with rung . its almost as if all your worries fly away ,, out the window to never bother you again .

" this seems like a good spot ,," you muttered ,, setting the picnic basket and taking the blanket from rung . " can you hold the other end ?" you asked ,, waiting for him to grab the corners . you walked backwards and started to lie the blanket on the soft grass ,, placing the basket over in the middle of it . " i've never been on a picnic before . i must thank you for inviting me ,, (y/n) ." rung hummed ,, opening the basket and pulling out the goods from inside . there wasnt much ,, just some sandwiches packed with some fruits that had been previously cut . a couple of plates and two glasses ,, a pitcher of lemonade to go with . " its nothing really ,, im just glad you even came along ." you replied ,, setting the plates out and grabbing a sandwich for yourself . rung picked one up curiously ,, interested in it . " what might this be ?"

" its a sandwich . the outside is bread and inside is peanut butter and jelly . theres other kinds if you dont like that one ." you shrugged it off ,, biting into your own sandwich . rung examined it ,, lifting the top bread up a bit before putting it back down . he took a bite ,, letting out a hum at the taste . he's only had energon his whole life ,, or other versions of energon . there wasnt much of a flavor to it ,, but experiencing this was quite intriguing for him . it made him wonder what the other things youve brought along would taste like . would it taste sweet ,, like the sandwich he was eating ?

        you poured a cup of lemonade for him ,, holding it out so he can grab it . rung didnt waste a second ,, taking a small sip and taking in the different flavors . it made his 'tongue' tingle in a bizarre way ,, his eyes scrunching up . though the tang left and he was left with a sweet aftertaste . " too sour ?" you asked with a giggle ,, forgetting that sometimes lemonade doesnt suit everyone . " is that the word for it ? then yes ,, i suppose so ." rung set the drink down and continued to munch on his sandwich . you had already finished yours ,, munching on a couple of grapes that had been packed .

        " what are those ?" rung asked as he swallowed his bite ,, pointing towards the grapes in your fingers . " theyre grapes ,, a type of fruit . try one ,," you said and placed a plump grape into his open hand . " theyre not as sour as the lemonade ,, i promise ." he nodded ,, putting it in his mouth and chewing . it wasnt sour but its wasn't exactly sweet . the crunchiness soon turn into a mushy mess ,, swallowing the supposed grape . he soon finished his sandwich ,, and looked to where you laid on the blanket . " what are you doing now ?" he asked ,, setting down beside you . your hands found each other ,, entangling once more with each other . his hand warmed yours ,, a pleasant feeling with the breeze cooling your skin .

        " looking at the clouds and seeing what they look like ." you hummed ,, raising your free hand to point at one . " that one kinda looks like magnus's grumpy face ,," you snicker to yourself . rung nodded ,, smile placed lightly upon his lips . " that one sort of looks like those ,, what are they called ? ofu ?" he raised a brow in question . " its ufo ,, and yeah it does . what if it is ?" you looked over at him in surprise before laughing to yourself . " what if they're here to abduct you ?" rung widened his eyes a bit before shaking his head . " i hope not ,," he unlaced his hand from yours and cupped your cheek . " i couldnt bare to be apart from you ,," he whispered before placing a kiss on your lips .

[cogbreath]

ngl even tho i had faith in both you and allah that whatever you had done would not be the end of you i WAS worried still so yeah like everyone else is saying i'm also rly glad that you're recovering. congrats on surviving life's bullshit yet again my friend. may the next one maybe be less painful tho bc that did/does not sound like a fun time

jazakallah khair ❤️

and i do wanna apologise for worrying you guys. we all do know that i didnt mean to but i do understand how even when we r aware of that, it can still hurt and be scary to see someone u care about end up in a situation like that and it can be confusing and frustrating cuz of the fact its so clearly not a good thing to do to oneself. but im rlly rlly thankful that despite all that you guys have it in your hearts to be so so gentle and kind to me which seriously means the world to me

im not entirely sure how bad my situation really was, because it's honestly difficult for me to remember how much i actually ended up drinking, my memory is rlly blurry about it but i do know that i did pass out for a while. i wasn't exactly worried at first that i felt that i needed to puke and legit was shocked when i started seeinf it turning red n shit. i wanfed to believe that somehow it was just something i ate that was also red but when i started tasting the taste of iron i Knew. because it seemed to be becoming more and more bloody i was like. "o fuck." i was still aware of ans believing in the resilience of the human body, reminding myself that people have literally survived getting hit with a particle beam in the head, but nonetheless it doesnt change the fact that vomiting blood is something associated with fatal outcomes. i guess honestly it really doesn't matter either way what the true severity of it was and i shouldn't trouble myself too much about trying to figure it out because no matter what, it was a dangerous and bad situation to be in. also im not detailing more now about what happened so as to be shocking or graphic but like i just want to be honest about it so i can help process it and help u guys have more clarity on what happened now that im not as delirious and panicked as i was when it all went down

i wasnt scared to die and honestly no matter what never will be because of the way my brain is wired about the concept of death, but what i was most scared of was that ppl i care about and that allah would be mad at me. so it helps a lot to have that affirmed that nobodys mad at me and nobody thinks that i'm stupid or had it coming

sorry if this is more than u expected as a response, but you guys are some of the only people i can feel comfortable being truly deeply honest with. i dont ever intend to trouble you with things that arent your job to manage and i dont intend to freak people out. but maybe thats not nice to assume thats what anyone is thinking. ily

[intertexts]

HELLOOOO I COME BEARING GIFTS

EPISODE 11 TRIVIA:

- ashe being there surprised dakota so much it broke him somewhat out of his bad mood! in grizzlys words "if he wouldnt have met ashe right then, dakota would have been so much more angry and miserable at the beginning of this episode. he mightve just straight up left. got up and walked away."

- he didnt want to talk to william or vyncent at all, so ashe being there (however unwillingly) as a third party made things easier and almost softened the blow of vyncent yelling at him in the moment

- "why did i dream about william and vyncent being villains in the beginnign and killing summer" ".... i dunno" *cue entire party suspicious WHAT DOES THAT MEAN*

- "i dont trust your characters now" "you have ONE bad dream and our campaign turns into a game of among us"

- william: "hey ashe do you want to run away and write poetry with me?" emo/goth kid solidarity

- this is yakko's (ashes player) first time ever playing a ttrpg !!! fucking wild!! he feels like he needs more practice describing things

- FUN CHARACTER FACTS. I LOVE THESE MORE THAN ANYTHING. BIZLY ASKED EACH OF THEM WHAT KINDS OF MUSIC THEIR CHARACTERS WOULD LISTEN TO.

dakota: breakbeat, old school rap, 90s punk rock. also for shows he would watch it was "cartoons like atla, tmnt and codename kids next door"

william: "indie rock. and on a bad day, evanescence" (god hes just like me fr)

vyncent: "my character doesnt know what music is"

ashe: MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE . also apparently yakko made an ashe winters playlist on spotify and thats actually what they were playing in the episode. i have not found this yet and i desperately want to

- for the spirit world, bizly asked charlie to find him just random pieces of music that he could envision places for and thats how they came up with carnival of souls! there are a handful more places like that that youll see eventually :]

- yakko: "im glad i was able to bring wavelengths threat level down an entire tier just by calling him mark"

- charlie wants william and ashe to hang out in character more because theyre so similar and he thinks they would have a lot to bond over! i love this

- theyre all really excited that they get to go to the spirit world together and it wasnt just an excuse to split the party because they dont want to do that :] (<< i just rlly like this energy)

- grizzly is specifically playing dakota as "not being able to process emotions very well"

ALSO!!!!!!! i dojt know what site or whatever youre using to watch/listen so im hoping they have this on there BUT. the tide backstory oneshot was posted between episodes 12 and 13 so if u wanted to listen to that one now would be a good time !!! its called The Elementals :]

HIII YAYAYAYAYYY!!!! ohh fuck yes a little bowl of seeds for me :333

the dakota & ashe stuff is so goodddd u can rlly tell. it's like yeah you cant be mad and miserable and sulky in front of someone u don't know!! & ashe is just.... so unbothered... i loaf him... he truly did bring the threat level down so fast. went from terrifying supervillain in charge of the Evil Facility to an exhausted pissed off single dad in 1 minute.

+ALL THE MUSIC STUFF IS SO GOOD..... ITS SO GOOD. yelling. vyncent is going 2 end up having the weirdest music taste from hanging out with them. augh... awesome trivia thabk. the energy they have is so fun always....

[sixthemeowmeowidk]

I know u left but do you have another account I could follow for your art? Because I really like it

hey thank you for asking! I just wanna say sorry to all my mutuals who saw me leave all of a sudden i pretty much packed my bags overnight and left zero traces in the morning. im gonna yap for a bit for the ppl who followed me n wonder where ive been (tldr at the end)

if any if my moots are wondering why i left/where i been i was really tired of having to keep a online persona up and basically like i was jst tired of drawing to post, it didnt rlly feel like my art was reaching or basically i felt like i didnt rlly matter and drew for like a stick of gum as payment.

my plan was to only leave for a week but then i had like the greatest time not giving af in that week so i extended it to months and now idek if i wanna go back coz it feel so awesome to take it slow and to draw for yourself.

as for where ive been n other accs i had a twt and insta but i deactivated basically ALL my social media for art and im jst chilling on my irl acc instagram and discord, i didnt really think any of my moots would rlly care so i didnt tell anyone other then my closer moots who talk 2me on discord

i do check some of my social meds from TTT and check on my moots sometimes

Will i ever go back to twitter? Fuck no fuck elon musk he made that app ASS

Will i ever go back to posting? Dont know

When do i plan to return from my break? I was planning to go back on august but now its august so november but then like 2 days ago i was like damn maybe next year so tbh idk 😭🙏

idk why i feel like i cant go back till my art looks fire ash or else its embarrassing and also till im like mentally prepared to take social media on again i wasnt rlly that popular but it was still tiring

TLDR: all my art accs are deactivated so sorry you wont find any of my other artworks and i left coz i gotta get a life and shit yk

also tysm im glad u like my art it means so much to me that people are enjoying my more older works! It really does

[superchat]

......ANYWAY, the way Eva ended with End of Evangelion was so was profoundly satisfying to me on so many levels. The craftsmanship, the pathos, the sincerity and rawness... Mwah. I'm glad Anno moved on from the Eva series after that.

I AGREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE thrice upon a time is so good. i went in not rlly expecting much from it, like i wasnt going in expecting to be bad at all, but i was just thinking itd be an Alright ending, cuz how do you end such a longrunning franchise? impossibly tall order to expect to end well

but it went above and beyond what i expected, a finale for the characters, the fans, but also more importantly imo, the ppl who made it happen. it was a farewell just as much for them, if not more,

im glad anno can move on and hes been doing more stuff that hes passionate about, man deserves it lmao

[anachronistic-falsehood]

EPISODE 11 TRIVIA:

- ashe being there surprised dakota so much it broke him somewhat out of his bad mood! in grizzlys words "if he wouldnt have met ashe right then, dakota would have been so much more angry and miserable at the beginning of this episode. he mightve just straight up left. got up and walked away."

- he didnt want to talk to william or vyncent at all, so ashe being there (however unwillingly) as a third party made things easier and almost softened the blow of vyncent yelling at him in the moment

- "why did i dream about william and vyncent being villains in the beginnign and killing summer" ".... i dunno" *cue entire party suspicious WHAT DOES THAT MEAN*

- "i dont trust your characters now" "you have ONE bad dream and our campaign turns into a game of among us"

- william: "hey ashe do you want to run away and write poetry with me?" emo/goth kid solidarity

- FUN CHARACTER FACTS. I LOVE THESE MORE THAN ANYTHING. BIZLY ASKED EACH OF THEM WHAT KINDS OF MUSIC THEIR CHARACTERS WOULD LISTEN TO.

dakota: breakbeat, old school rap, 90s punk rock. also for shows he would watch it was "cartoons like atla, tmnt and codename kids next door"

william: "indie rock. and on a bad day, evanescence" (god hes just like me fr)

vyncent: "my character doesnt know what music is"

ashe: MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE . also apparently yakko made an ashe winters playlist on spotify and thats actually what they were playing in the episode. i have not found this yet and i desperately want to (EDIT TO THIS ONE: I DID ACTUALLY END UP FINDING THIS LIST. ILL SEND IT TO U IN DMS BECAUSE LINKS DONT WORK IN ASKS APPARENTLY)

- for the spirit world, bizly asked charlie to find him just random pieces of music that he could envision places for and thats how they came up with carnival of souls! there are a handful more places like that that youll see eventually :]

- yakko: "im glad i was able to bring wavelengths threat level down an entire tier just by calling him mark"

- charlie wants william and ashe to hang out in character more because theyre so similar and he thinks they would have a lot to bond over! i love this

- theyre all really excited that they get to go to the spirit world together and it wasnt just an excuse to split the party because they dont want to do that :] (<< i just rlly like this energy)

- grizzly is specifically playing dakota as "not being able to process emotions very well"

I LOVE KNOWING WHAT MUSIC CHARACTERS CANONICALLY LISTEN 2. I LOVE THAT SHIT. IF YOU HAVE THE CANON ASHE WINTERS PLAYLIST PLEASE SEND IT TO ME I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR IT I LOVE HIM <3

i love that they did a carnival for the spirit world I LOVE SPOOKY CARNIVALS AND CIRCUS STUFF!!!!!! I LOVE IT!!!! IT WAS SO GOOD. UGH this was one of my fav episodes i think. god it was so good. i might answer more of these later i am getting eepy but oh my god dude this episode was EVERYTHING 2 ME

[luxsea]

so i finally beat bg3 for the first time last night :))

also hap halloweenie :]

(not all but some) thoughts dump

im honestly so glad i got spoiled for karlachs ending back at the start of act 2 so i had time to go thru the stages of grief, make sad playlists, etc bc my tav/karlach really hit me like a truck. i knew i was going to romance her before i even got the game bc she literally is the reason i started playing to begin with but doing her route feels very right for a first playthrough bc imo despite how devastating and lacking her story can be it sure does shine when its good. her introspective moments you can only get if you romance her are everything to me. knowing she cant be saved in the end lead me to choose more accepting dialogue options which lead to infinitely more satisfying and at times inspiring scenes than if i pushed the "what if"

as for the very end, in a way karlachs dying scene and/or going to avernus scene is a lot more than what most characters get even if theyre youre romanced character... despite her ending being shafted to begin with?? which is ridiculous. (correct me if im wrong. most of them had nothing to say and what ive seen uploaded ie shadowhearts romanced ending is so meh) lae'zels orpheus ending did make me tear up, everyone else was just kinda standing there wearing ridiculous armor bc i forgot.......

despite everything im really happy with karlachs scenes? and idk if thats just bc they were the romanced versions and bc i didnt have my hopes up for her (if i hadnt been spoiled i wouldve been LIVID) but it rlly was one of the most touching moments for me. the "how'd i do?" "you were spectacular in every way" "for you. and for the city, and for myself, and blah blah. but most of all for you" caressing tavs face and her repeating back to herself that she was spectacular like shes at peace just by those words alone. "it's the one thing i can't beat, isn't it? same below as above. i love. you." and the blue flames of all her love for them searing hot white and killing her engine faster?!? ough "you more than anything. i saw- ...goodbye, sun. goodbye, sea. goodbye" I FEEL SICK I FEEL UNWELL. i should be crying but my heart just aches she's just everything to me okay!!

and the avernus scene is better than i thought it would be, the music is so sweet and badass, sharing cigars!!, lots of gay fuel for my fire, the feeling that its just the start of a new journey and not the end, charging together into the hells its so mwah mwah as long as you ignore the trauma and the fact that we couldve solved this any other way!! (do wish wyll wasnt treated like an awkward third wheel if the three of you go considering he's the one who advocates for her and going to avernus is part of his ending too. but ofc im also going she's my wife and the interaction is rlly touching)

as far as the rest of the game the emperors writing was so flimsy and uh they did a really good job making it feel like your choices didnt matter much in the end considering the praise its gotten and how the game was marketed. rip it needs some serious work but i didnt hate it. karlach brain worms take a lot of credit

my highest praises overall are that ive never felt this attached to a player character that i've made before and ive never seen a more memorable cast of npcs. there's too many stand out moments to count that it makes the insane amount of lag and bugs i had worth powering thru

BUT IM FINALLY FREE I CAN FINALLY REPLAY AND DO IT ALL AGAIN BUT BETTER

[zyafics]

atp the slowburn would kill me before they get to the happy ending plsdshhdhd AAAAAAAAAAA THE ANGST IS SO FUCKINGSJDJSJSH 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 seeing it from rafes perspective feels like being splashed with cold water too like the insecurity the anxiety the fear of being left and rejected litsrally explains everything all the actions that i first thought was irrational for him to do. AND IM SO GLAD THAT YOU WROTE IT !!! YOU WROTE IT SO WELL YOU DID HIM JUSTICE and if i wasnt in love w rafe hard enough, ur characterization of him just made me fall harder 😩😩😩 bc thats him thats my baby rafe, just how i imagined him if he actually fell in love w someone. im so in love with this fic and the way you write it so passionately and so so human that even though the characters are fictional, everything they feel and experience touches me deep in my bones.

(sorry for cheesing in ur inbox, pt10 rlly got me in the feels xD)

no LITERALLY 😭 i adore slowburn sm, it's a prominent trait in my stories. like, in my original fic, it took me 50 chapters before they even kissed so this is actually so much faster than i'm used to haha 🥰 but truly i was WAITING for this angst, ohmygod, you don't understand how impatient i've been and how much i've been waiting to write this scene!! i would literally fall asleep to the scenario bc of how excited i was and i'm so glad it paid off!! especially in rafe's pov!

that's such a sweet compliment!! i've been so afraid i deviated from his show's characterization that it became my own character but to hear that you think i did rafe justice makes me teary-eyed 🥹 like it's so sweet, tysm!! 🩷

and you're too kind!! i'm so glad you can see how passionately i love this story and how i do try my very best to make you guys feel the same emotions that reader/rafe is feeling in the moment!! to know that you feel it in your bones is actually insane and gives me so much motivation to continue!! 🥰💓 like u truly don't know how much i appreciate these messages!! i reread them all the time!!

thank you so much again!! 🤍

[misterradio]

okay here are some tron 2.0 thoughts TEE HEE....... you have been Spoiler Warned for REAL!

tron fans talk abt this game with me okay 🥺

THIS GAME IS BEAUTIFUL .... MWWWWWAH!!!!!! i just love all the different environment designs, the color coding that went into the different computer systems was really cool too. my main takeaway is that the visuals Rule.

the npc designs were cool too but i kind of wish there was More variety (visually as well as voice acting)... but i really enjoy the design direction here ::-) why so many bald antagonist though? lol (AND WHY SO MANY MEN?)

In regards to gameplay i felt like it was pretty standard? i ended up using the basic disc weapon for most of the game because switching weapons takes Way too long if youre actively fighting, which is kind of a shame cuz there are so many weapon options... i did really enjoy the energy claw though 👍also the light cycle racing SUCKED and there was a graphical glitch that made it so that a bunch of visuals to my cycle were missing so i couldnt even enjoy the new design that was hyped up lol. as complicated as gameplay felt up front it definitely felt much better as it went on so it was pretty good.

game progression was very straightforward which i didnt expect..? go do this and then do that, etc. i thought it would be more open. this isnt rlly a complaint bc at least i wasnt lost or anything.

finding all the build notes was thankfully not hard but i enjoy poking around as much as i can in games already... and i liked the mechanics of searching archive boxes and being able to read emails between people ::-) YAY NOSINESS !!! despite finding all the build notes i still didnt end with the highest version i couldve...🤔 no idea how that works then...

moving on 2 story...

all the characters felt a bit flat so that was unfortunate... i wouldve liked to see some more emotions from everyone, bit more personality, etc...

i dont rlly know where jet's attachment to mercury came from, is he in love with this girl, if so why?? im thinking that since she was the first program to really reach out and help jet, that he latched on to her. but as the player i was kind of neutral on her SORRY although her design is cool

i was in disbelief that lora died and i was thinking she would just have been digitized and b in the computer somewhere? and there are allusions to her at least being superficially present in the program ma3a/ma2a etc (they have the same actress ^^__^^) but neither jet nor alan mention this which really shocks me??!!!??? thats your deceased mom or wife can u show a bit of tenderness or something..... maybe this can be cooked up more in an AU or something . idk i was really hoping she (and yori) would be around. i held on to hope for so long ✊️

OBVIOUSLY WISHING TRON WAS THERE... but omg alan being in the digital world shocked me so much i really liked that HEHE. him wearing tron's outfit was fun. i saw someone else in the tag say this, but if tron is "retired" then where is he?? INQUIRING MINDS WANNA KNOW !! he and jet werent very fazed by being digitized which surprised me buuut they also have to adapt fast given the urgency of their situation..

i felt rlly bad that thorne died SNIFFLE SNIFFLE jet and alan just watched a real guy die in front of them thats MESSED UP!! he was really cool too i enjoyed the corruption concept ::-) i was really worried the three fcon employees were gonna die too but im glad they implied that they could be repaired and manifested again.. (what is the word for un-digitized..?)

evil ma3a was really cool 👍 tbh all the antagonists are cool except im neutral on the kernel. i was confused that he was red i thought he was evil like in the original movie with the MCP's soldiers.. but i think hes just a guy who happens to be red. and also trying to kill u but just bc you (jet) are a freak of computer nature and should not be there. thats fair. i enjoyed his boss fight too.

THE FCON MONSTER WAS RLLY COOL HOW AM I NOT SEEING ANY FANART OF THEM.... ::-( i have to fix this... ALSO I WISH they had dialogue. like are they even aware of their situation. missed opportunity !!

okay thats all i can think of now.

WAIT UM I READ THE COMIC CONTINUATION(?) the ghost in the machine AS WELL and i dont have many thoughts on it bc it was really confusing BUT i did enjoy the layers of horror and unreality which i really did not expect. was also expecting the titular ghost to have more to do with lora (SIGH I REALLY WANNA SEE HER AGAIN) but it didnt but thats okay. i really liked the art of the first book specificaly.....

do any tron fans also like soma (2015) haha just wondering [TWIRLS MY HAIR

[thisdreamplace]

long ask ahead but its good i promise!!!

i just had some deep introspection realizing that my years in the reality shifting, law of assumption, and nonduality was simply to escape who i thought i was. i truly couldve enjoyed these concepts for what they were if i wasnt so desperate to change things that will never bring me eternal fullness. im happy i never ended up “escaping” 😭 im more so at a place where its okay foe thoughts of wanting to change “lifes” come up but one thing is not better than another, to have or to not have. asking useless questions like “but can i still change my reality” to have some sense of security was rlly bad for me. if i want something i realize its not truly me but still think of things like “oh it would be nice to have that :)” but not anything more besides knowing i could experience it.

i'm really glad you were able to realize that for yourself, and now you don't feel that desperation or anxiety of needing to escape anything, or at least it's not as heavy as before. you can truly experience all of the beautiful things you'd like, no escaping required <3

thank you for sharing! :))

[cumulonimbuns]

hi, yesterday i stumbled across the knights self-destruction and got so hooked i stayed up until it was three in the morning and my head hurt and i physically couldnt keep reading, and now ive caught all the way up. i am so obsessed with everything, im always a slut for angst and thats what i initially clicked for but my GOSH i am so digging the relationships between zelda and link and sidon and yona and yona and link especially. i am so so so overjoyed to see link and zeldas relationship portrayed in such a queerplatonic-feeling way, being in a qpr myself. this fic may have had a hand in making me realize me being some flavor of poly so thanks for that. i adore the zora worldbuilding youve done with the distinction between heart and treasure and how both of these are so deeply committed and emotional ways of feeling towards one another. and GOSH the angsty scenes were delicious. yona is a riot, and i am so in love with her portrayal. much like link i fucking need zelda to see this.

and just when i thought more bliss wasnt possible i find your blog and see your wonderful art of this story.

also the scene with link breaking down in yonas arms and him wresting with the gang have my heart even though my all time favorite is the sages reactions to links breakdown and his reaction to them seeing him. also link telling zelda about what clouds feel like. god im just HGN. i am never getting my brain back to normal from this. have a nice day.

I MEANT TO RESPOND TO THIS AGES AGO BUT GOT BUSY. SO SORRY BOUT THAT!

First of all, THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! This made me very happy to read <3

I too am a slut for angst. I love to be hurt, but also need me that comfort. Which is why you all can take the solace in the fact that no story of mine will have an unhappy ending. SAD ENDINGS ARE FINE, I JUST CAN’T DO IT. I am not strong enough. I inflict much hurt but in the end it will be taken care of.

I’m glad the QPR vibes came across how I wanted them too!! I’ve always viewed/treated qpr’s with the same importance as romantic relationships bc they are!! So each pairing is as committed to one another as they would be to a romantic partner. It’s just how they express that love and some of the vibes are different. Another thing I’m so happy about is that you totally get where my brain was coming from with the ‘some flavor of poly’ bc in a way that’s exactly what’s happening. Like I said, qpr’s are just as valid and important as a romantic relationship, so there are some poly negotiations that goes down with all that. Making sure everyone is on the same page, comfortable, and agreeing.

It’s a bit hilarious how obsessed I’ve become with Yona. Nintendo barely gave us anything for this woman so I decided to run wild. Now I am completely insane with the amount of love I have for her, and it literally all stems from the fact I’ve turned her into my own character with all the random hc i threw on her at this point lmao. And I too need Zelda and Yona to meet.

And thank you so much for stopping by my blog to say hi and compliment my writing/art! It’s rlly made me smile. (And don’t worry, my brain is never returning to normalcy after this lmao, TOTK fan fiction/art has changed me as a person)

Here’s a lil doodle for you to show my appreciation (and a sorry for taking so long to respond fdhfhf, i know you probably don’t care, but I do)

<3<3<3<3 HOPE YOU HAVE A LOVELY DAY OR NIGHT!!! <3<3<3<3

[lostmykeysie]

hi keysie! i dnt use tumblr like at all but i recently just finished reading the horcrux hunt n the missing link and boy do i hve thoughts i need to share. listen, ur writing is absolutely phenomenal n i cannot stop thinking abt it morning, noon n night. the way u write the friendship between regulus n remus has me crying n laughing all at the same time. they care abt each other sm. it feels so real to me. i love them so so so much.

honestly, i wasnt sure how i felt abt the platonic kissing at first but as i read on i get it. the way u portray their dynamic it js fits so well. i literally adore the way they talk to each other n ive honestly hvent found any other works like it. im so glad they had each other during the war and everything.

some aspects of their friendship tht rlly hve my heart/stuck w me:

- the fact tht regulus starts questioning his view of everything bc remus came into his life !!

-n the fact he goes into the wolfsbane project (mostly?) bc of remus - THEIR NICKNAMES FOR EACH OTHER

-regulus (especially the 'You’ve got me tearing my hair out here Rom, I’m so worried.' letter) n lilys letters to remus during the december moon 😭😭

-the fact tht they share memories on the pensieve w each other js so tht the other cn understand their feelings. IT FEELS SO INTIMATE. its like when ure telling ur friend a problem tht u cnt quite change but u js need them to listen yk?

-"I think the Lupins were always meant to be a four piece set, and now we’ve finally got you." I ADORE THEM!! regulus n hopes relationship 💗💗💗

-when regulus was like how cld u sirius??? he thought u were the love of his life n u thought he was a traitor??? i cld kill u rn. me too reg me too.

speaking of wolfstar angst,, u wrote them so well!! my heart cracks little by little with every fight they hve in the camden flat but theyre doing sm better now in tml it makes me SO happy. the fight where remus leaves for his parents house yet still left pieces of himself in the flat BROKE ME.

the fact tht remus wnted to tell sirius n the others wht he was doing so bad but cldnt, n in the end he knew it was right not to bc of the rat. honestly, the way u decipt peter has me in shambles. bc like, he was ready to betray them frm THE START yk?? like he literally became animagi for remus n STILL tried to frame him. id feel violent as well.

and lily, oh gods lily. i love her so much. the fact tht she cried bc she realised she loved james n felt like she was losing a piece of herself bc she thought tht meant she didnt love alice anymore??? broke me once again. alice is one of my favourite characters and no matter how minor of a role she plays in any fic i still love her dearly. i, too, would be in love w her.

i also love tht lily n remus were still able to repair their friendship even w everything tht happened. i dont rmb wht happened to the polaroid, did lily take it w her?

the girls + dorcas n reg getaway!!! dorcas' face jewellery omg 💗💗 i also plan to get a few piercings to my face when i cn in the future :)

reg n lily hving a truce in muggle waitrose is so funny n endearing to me bc theyre hving a heart to heart while picking up cheese and like?? breadsticks 😭😭

oh well, this is getting quite long i think. my last point: jegulus!!

ill be honest i stumbled upon the missing link before the horcrux hunt bc i was looking for jegulus fics but after seeing reg n remus interact i HAD to go bck m read thh. no regrets, i enjoyed it dearly.

reg n james kissing n reg js being like nope nope im not gns process tht. BUT LIKE NOW THEYRE HOLDING HANDS !! honestly i love how reg treats harry, their interactions has my heart. if i were james n i saw reg n my son interacting, id already be a gooey puddle on the floor, james has quite the self control. tho considering it is physically impossible for it to happen, i think he has already metaphorically melted into a gooey puddle on the floor.

lastly the part where remus was talking abt how haz takes after all the four of them. one of my favourite moments honestly.

now this is quite a lot, so if u do end up reading all of this, thank u for writing thh n tml. 💗

sending lots of love x

hi darling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

first of all i just want to say this is the LONGEST ask i have ever had lmao i didn't even know you were allowed this many characters your power is unmatched xxx it's like you wrote me a lil story you're the best xxx

i love regus friendship and i can't even remember why i was like 'you know what i need to write about this' but i will NEVER write them as anything but bffs ever again i am obsessed with them i love them so much i'm so glad you do too xxx

i think the platonic kissing was a bit of a wild ride for us all and i think some folks were a bit worried it wouldn't come across as platonic because it feels like such a romantic thing but i think once we got used to it it just became *their thing* you know?? and i love it so so much i love them and they love each other i love their dynamic so much

i love your list of faves <3 i just love the concept of people having fave things and moments it makes me sooooo happy. i think our faves are quite similiar, reggie doing the wolfsbane trial defo for me. the first night they got drunk together in reggie's flat is also close to my heart<3 and of course reg seeing sirius for the first time in years and defending remus <3

the wolfstar angst hurts but it's also just... it's not *easy* to write but they just have so much angst they really have fought a war for their relationship and it's never been smooth sailing and i'm glad i didn't just throw them together happily ever after once the war was over because it just didn't feel real enough you know? BUT i feel like we've earned the fluff now and that is ALL we have now for these last four chapters it's fluff fluff smut and fluff and i can't wait <3 <3 it tastes so much sweeter now because of the angst you know

peter was a tough one because i feel like canon implies he's just a coward but that's just. not enough for me, you know? and he's canonically a hat stall so i just love the idea he's actually this menacing creature that is so selfish and self centred that as soon as he thought he wouldn't be on the winning side of the war and voldemort had more to give him he just dipped. like how you can forsake your best friends of ten years you have to be a horrid person and a coward just doesn't cover that for me!!!!! but a person driven by selfish motivation their whole life, loyal to only themselves???? yes please

i LOVE lily i love sapphic lily but i LOVE the idea of jily being best friends. lily is so mature, much more mature - emotionally too - than the rest of them, especially the boys. it is a bit heartbreaking to not only give her unrequited love for her best friend but then to kill alice.... such an ouch i wont lie. but i love her. and i'm really excited for her future in this series too, i didn't just want to shove her into a relationship like she's got trauma to get over healthily and a kid and everything she deserves a proper arc <3

lily did take the polaroid!!! she has it in a drawer at the moment but it won't stay there <3

dorcas is a legend and i love them they're such a fun character to write and i might be inspired enough to re-pierce my other nostril and get an eyebrow... i want a ring through my eyebrow soooo bad

i love reg and lily and they will only get closer <3 <3

omg me and you both. i feel like reg is accidentally great with kids and james potter is the daddiest daddy so of course if you're great with his kid he's gonna love you. that definitely sold reg for him i think. i also love him so much in this fic because i feel like he just *knows* how to deal with the black brothers. he's not pushing reg for anything despite being quite obviously his biggest fan and i love him for it i actually LOVE them. and i didn't expect to! this is my first jegulus fic and idk if i'll write them again outside of this universe/series but i love them so much i feel like they've come together so well and they complement each other and i LOVE THEM

i do love little harry and i cannot wait for harry to grow up with all four (and more) of them raising him. i will defo do follow up fics in this series without a doubt because i just have to for my own sake xxx

thanks so much for coming and writing me your own little story in my ask box hahahah sorry it took so long for me to get to it, i am chronically OFFline xxxxxx kisses xxxxxxx hope you enjoy the final few chapters !!!!!!!!!

[rottingskunk]

night at the museum: Kamunrah rises again review

-i was binging the hell out of the night at the museum franchise (I chose to start with Smithsonian museum arc (2) then i’ll end with one). I watched the fourth movie and have many thoughts, as someone who loves this franchise to bits. (If you dont see mentions of the first movie its bc i havent seen it yet from my movie marathon)

1. The timeline is hella off im so confused about it. Nick is in highschool but NATM3 he was going to college?? Laa is there so it can’t be post NATM 2. If it was post NATM3 the best solution to this problem is having the adventure set IN THE UK???

2. I honestly am confused why kamunrah was revived again such a strange character to bring back i mean he was already dead before why bring him back?? (He was so iconic in the 2nd movie. Has funny bits in the fourth but third act bore me sorry) I genuinely wish there was a different bad guy instead

3. Infact i genuinely wish they had a small series for post NATM3 arc wherein its about the British museum rather than our main cast. Theres so much room and potential to introduce interesting historical figures too! Heck even make some of the animal statues talk that would be interesting (i doubt thats possible even with the tablet but shush) (is this an excuse to bring back rebel wilson to be the night guard-maybe Jdjfjsjdk/lh)

4. I love Octavius design he is not ugly to me at all infact he looks amazing in the movie! I love his face and his hair they look good. (I question why Jed is ginger and clean shaven, hes better off looking scruffy and scrappy looking) SIDE NOTE I LOVE THEM ADOPTING A CAT IT WAS MEANT TO BE !! (Their dynamic was off but them being clingy asf to each other made things less unberable)

5. Sacagewea and Joan of arc be lookin fruity in that one scene I see yall HDDJSJ, cute momment too. I love their respective character designs they are very fun plus Sacagewea is more plot relevant for once im glad for that:’D. Ik Joan of Arc wasnt there for the previous movies but my only answer to that plothole is shes also a new exhibit that was installed before NATM4. Or she could be in the British museum AKA AN EXCUSE TO HAVE JOAN AND LANCELOT TO INTERACT BRO THAT WOULD BE COOL

6.i love these movies but NATM4’s final fight scene wasn’t as impactful as the others. No.2 was so fucking good at their fight scenes the characters battling it out with a good amount for both sides, theres different spotlights for the characters even if its one second. The third movie it was more of a chase scene ft. LION STATUES BEING BIG CATS GAHHH<33 and Lancelot identity crisis poor man. This fourth one felt like a fight you see in every cartoon or show, just felt not as creative? Except when Nick destroyed the bird soldiers eye with arrows that was cool.

7. WHY DOES DEXTER NOT LOOK LIKE A CAPUCHIN??? He looks like a generic orange or brown ish monkey. I looked up how they look like irl and they tend to have multi colored fur so his design rlly confused the hell out of me. I genuinely love capuchins bc of dexter and able (choosing them over chimpanze’s just saying)

8.Lightning round bc I RAN OUT OF SPACE: Mia looks cool (wish she was used more in the story), Akmunrah not being there is so saddening, Nick and the bi sticker ™, Fun call back to the subway scene very cute, I love the oil painting joke its corny and useful to the chase, OFFENDED THERES NO BIG ANIMAL IN THE MAM MUSEUM EXCUSE??😭😭 theres always a big boy in there wdym (Rexy, Octopus, Trixie),Comic convention joke was my fave its such a cute moment

Heres some photos yey!! ok im done i spoke too much on this-did not expect such passion over it!!