#im glad i had sh/unazu and iz/lo to explore these feelings bc
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i love getting stupidly invested in characters. i use the whole hyperfixation as a blotch test to externalise and explore all the hang ups i didn't know i had and/or don't dare to face head-on.
#me connecting the dots and realising why sh/unazu and iz/lo have such a chokehold over me#its the platonic breakups that fuck you up for years#the i miss you i hate you i hurt you im sorry#the i know you were hurting but you hurt me too#i know i was hurting but i hurt you bad. im sorry. i cant fix this. it was better for us to part ways. it was unsalvageable#the thinking about our best days still makes me smile i still miss it i wish we could go back to those times sometimes#then i remember that we both were in terrible places back then. we were a ticking time bomb#the i still care about you i hope youre doing better now i hope we never fucking meet again#me in 2020 wondering subcobsciously zooming in on sh/unazu: im sure this doesnt mean anything#im glad i had sh/unazu and iz/lo to explore these feelings bc#theyre still so enormous and overwhelming#i dont think i would hv had the clarity to put all this into words if i didnt have#these chars for me to see it from a more detached perspective#anw problematic dynamics in fiction are so important to me <3#anw just a thought but why is sh/nz deemed problematic when iz/lo gets a pass#literally sh/nz is healthier than iz 'you gave your life to me im not giving it back' lo#i have so many sh/nz mutuals who had to go priv bc some randos come at them for liking a ''''problematic ship''''
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