#im glad i got into this game finally after allie insisted

[hanzobow]

happy to spend pride month being silly in game with some of my friends 💙

[hamilton-one-shots]

Hamilton High School AU 36

When he woke up hours later, Alexander groaned and sat up, feeling bloated from the pizza and overall, just gross. "John?.." He tried shaking him away. "John?.." He looked over and saw that he was shaking a pillow. He frowned and looked around, finding a note on the nightstand in John's handwriting.

[Hey, Alex. If you're reading this, I'm not at the apartment. I left to make sure my siblings were back home and okay and I'm going to make them some dinner. I left at 5 and I should be back no later than 6. If you want something specific for dinner, please text me to tell me. Otherwise, please text me anyways when you're awake and let me know how you're feeling. I'll explain everything that I know when I get back. I love you <3]

Alexander tutted and looked at the time. 5:48. At least he'd be back soon. He grabbed his phone and texted him. [hey] [im awaek] [awake*] [miss u] Then he figured that he at least owed Aaron a thanks. [hey] [im ok] [thnx 4 2day] [rly] [oew u big time] He sighed and put his phone in his pocket, then quickly took it back out. "What?.." He threw back the covers and gasped in horror at the warm, wet patch spread across the mattress. It couldn't exactly be helped with the drugs in his system, but still.. Did it have to be in John's bed?.. He got up and stripped the sheets off of the bed before stripping off his wet clothes and heading to the bathroom, taking a quick shower. He put on some of John's clothes and put a new set of bed sheets on the bed before taking the rest downstairs to the building's shared washing machines.

Aaron was the first to respond to the text messages. [I'm glad to hear that.] [Thomas didn't have anything to do with it, by the way. It was Jay.] [He got the drugs from Thomas, but he only gave them to him to get rid of. He said he never was going to use them on you.] [But I don't blame you if you don't believe me.]

John responded soon after. [I miss you too. I'll be home soon, I promise <3] [Do you want anything in particular to eat? I'll make you whatever you want whenever I get home.]

Alexander smiled and went to the group chat, figuring the rest of his friends would want to know he was okay.

[John's Bitch: hey] [John's Bitch: i lived] [John's Bitch: kinda] [John's Bitch: evrythin is sore] [John's Bitch: but im ok]

[Kitty Mom 🐱: Thank goodness! I was so worried about you! 😫]

[MamasBoi: thank fuck] [MamasBoi: what happened?? Jefferson?]

[John's Bitch: idk] [John's Bitch: i dnt thnk so] [John's Bitch: i dnt trst jay]

[Kitty Mom 🐱: I hope you feel better soon. Are you guys still up for the party tonight?]

[OhMyGod:*: Not sure.]

[Kitty Mom 🐱: Maybe we should reschedule?]

[OhMyGod:*: Not if it'd be too much trouble. Its more Alexander's choice.]

[John's Bitch: no its cwl] [John's Bitch: ur mom jst caem home] [John's Bitch: we shoud selebr8]

[MamasBoi: you sure?] [MamasBoi: At least take it easy with drinks 😜]

[John's Bitch: wil do] [John's Bitch: no intenshons of goin loopy] [John's Bitch: ..agen]

[Kitty Mom 🐱: Its fine <3 I'm just glad that you're okay.] [Kitty Mom 🐱: I'll snag that vodka bottle from your room.] [Kitty Mom 🐱: Hey, with that and all of the other alcohol around, there's no doubt that John will get wasted! : D]

[OhMyGod:*: Why are you so happy for that?]

[Kitty Mom 🐱: Maybe seeing you act like an idiot will help him feel better! : D]

[OhMyGod:*: Wow...] [OhMyGod:*: Glad I can help.]

[Kitty Mom 🐱: <3 <3 <3]

John finally showed up as Alexander sat by the dryer and wrapped his arms around him, kissing his cheek. "Hey, I was so worried about you..."

"I'm okay.. Just a bit off.."

"Okay.. What are you doing down here?"

Alexander hesitated to respond. "I... I wet the bed.. I just woke up and.. Yeah... But I changed the sheets and everything.. I'm sorry.."

"I'm not upset or anything. I know you couldn't help it."

Alexander nodded, though he was still embarrassed by the fact.

John held him close. "I'm going to kill Jay on Monday.. I don't know what he was planning on doing, but he used the date-rape drug on you.."

"He was acting funny since I got in the car.. Something about being my resident John and getting Jefferson there and buying my drinks.. I should've seen it.."

"You couldn't have known. Those things are meant to be undetectable.. You're okay now and that's what matters..."

Alexander looked up at him. "Everything was blurry and bright and scary.. But you came and I knew everything was going to be okay.." He smiled.

John kissed his cheek and smiled. "Of course. You know there's nothing I wouldn't do for you. I love you so much.."

Alexander couldn't help but blush. "I'm so lucky to have you.. Even when you make me eat my body's weight in pizza," he chuckled. He remembered pretty much everything from the past few hours.

John rolled his eyes playfully. "Yeah, yeah. Why don't we take the sheets and your clothes upstairs, then get ready for the party?"

"Sounds like a plan."

John grabbed everything from the dryer once it went off, then took it upstairs. He gave Alexander his clothes and folded his sheets, then left with him and walked to Herc's place.

When they got there, Sarah greeted them with a wide smile. "Ally! It has been too long!" She pulled him into a tight hug before taking a second to look at him. "You've gained some weight, I see! That's great!"

Maybe the others may not have noticed it as much, but it was definitely true. Compared to just a week ago, Alexander didn't look nearly as frail, though he did feel like his eyes would pop out of his skull if Sarah hugged him like that again.

"Are you calling me fat?" he teased, causing her to roll her eyes.

"Oh, hush." She smiled and turned to John. "Martha was such a little lady earlier, John. She insisted on helping clean before leaving. She's so mature."

John nodded. "That's Martha for you."

Sarah smiled and led them to the living room where Lafayette and Hercules were sitting on the sofa, already with drinks in their hand and shot glasses on the table.

"Hey, guys," Hercules greeted. "Come join us." The game in front of them was a Snakes and Ladders board modified for other purposes. Most spaces without a snake or ladder occupying it had an instruction written in instead.

John sat down with them and took the dice as Lafayette handed them to him. He chose a game piece and rolled the dice, moving as the dice instructed. He landed on a blank piece and tutted, giving the dice to Alexander. "Want to play?"

"Yeah, sure." He rolled the dice and on 'Down your drink'. "Ha! Stupid game, I don't have a drink ye-" He cut himself off as Hercules pushed his glass of Guinness in his direction. "Gee, thanks. Herc-germs." He picked up the glass and downed it's contents. The glass had only been half full and the drink wasn't particularly strong, so it was no mystery as to why he gave him that one.

Lafayette took his turn next, rolling the dice and landing on 'Everyone Takes a Shot'. He grinned and poured some of the vodka that he'd snagged from Alexander's room into the shot glasses that surrounded the table.

Alexander almost wanted to protest, but he did practically drink all of Laf's wine last time they'd gotten drunk. It was only fair. He took his shot and watched as Hercules took his turn, landing on a blank spot before handing John the dice.

John rolled the dice and moved his piece, also landing on 'Down Your Drink'. Before he could make the same joke as Alexander, Lafayette poured a glass of wine for him. "Thanks for the girly drink," he joked, knowing how strong the drink really was as it scorched his throat. "Christ, Laf."

Alexander watched and felt memories flood back of last time. He grabbed the sharpie from the table and scribbled untidily on a few of the blank tiles 'Kiss BF'.

Hercules chuckled. "Someone's trying to say something."

"Shut up." He rolled the dice and moved his piece, landing on 'Next player takes a shot'. "There you go, Laf."

He shrugged and downed the shot like it was nothing, taking his turn and landing on a blank space.

While Hercules took his turn, John turned to face Alexander with a cheeky grin. "If you wanted a kiss, all you had to do was ask." He cupped Alexander's face in his hands and pressed his lips to his in a loving kiss.

Alexander let his eyes fall shut as he kissed back, intoxicated by the taste of the wine on John's tongue. He only pulled away when Hercules cleared his throat to get their attention. "What? Is it my turn?"

"No, Casanova, it's where I landed." He pointed at the 'Choose a player to take a shot' written on the tile.

Alexander tutted and poured himself a shot, then downed it. He was certainly starting to feel a light buzz, though he could've sworn that it was more from the taste of John's lips than of any alcohol he drank.

John watched him, in a love struck daze until Lafayette got his attention.

"Your turn, John."

"Yeah, yeah." He took the dice and moved, grinning as he landed on 'Kiss BF'. Perfect. He turned to Alexander and pulled him into a passionate kiss, not pulling away until he was out of breath. "How was that for a kiss?" he asked with a cheeky grin as he dropped the dice into Alexander's palm.

All that escaped Alexander was a strained squeak. He blushed and rolled the dice, lazily rolling them across the board and landing on another 'Down Your Drink' tile. He tutted and downed a glass of wine, though he thought it was too good to waste like that.

"Maybe you should skip a few turns.." Hercules suggested. After all, it wasn't like Alexander hadn't just gotten date raped. Still, Alexander made them promise not to bring it up, so he threw in a joke for good measure. "Otherwise, you'll be borrowing condoms before you get up the stairs."

Alexander shot him a playful glare, but it worked.

It worked for John, too. He went quiet for a second. "Maybe I should skip a few turns, too.."

Hercules cursed himself for that comment and cursed the alcohol for making him lose his ability to censor his thoughts.

Lafayette shifted everyone's focus back to the game, taking his turn and landing on a blank space.

Hercules went next. Another blank space. They went back and forth like that for a minute until Alexander piped up.

"Don't you have anything else to fill the spaces with?"

"Do you have anything in mind?" Hercules asked, offering the sharpie.

"Maybe.." He wrote on a few more blank spaces 'text'.

"Text?" Lafayette asked.

"Yeah. You choose someone and give them your phone and they choose anyone to text."

"Very evil. I like it." Hercules nodded in approval before offering John the dice.

"Sure." He smiled a bit and took the dice, rolling them. Of course, he landed on 'text'. He pulled out his phone and pondered his choices. "Let's see... Lafayette is embarrassing just being Lafayette, Hercules has no filter when drunk, and Alexander is Alexander.." He gave Alexander his phone.

Alexander rolled his eyes and went through his phone, already knowing exactly who to text. [madison, if u had a kid nd maed them angery, wud they be ur mad son? pls respond. v importnt.] Alexander handed back John's phone, like he hadn't just text James the most god awful pun. It wasn't long before he got a reply.

[...I came out of a movie with Dolley to answer this.] [Damn it, man.]

John chuckled and responded. [Lol, so sorry dude] [We're playing a game and I had to let Alexander text anyone he chose] [And he chose you] [So sorry :' )] "Where would I be without my jealous boyfriend tormenting my business partner?"

"I don't know what you mean."

Lafayette took the dice and took his turn, landing on another 'Take a shot' tile. He downed the shot with ease and passed the dice to Hercules, who took his turn and landed on 'Everyone takes a shot'. Everyone downed their shot, then John took his turn.

He landed on another 'Take a shot' tile and did just that, feeling the alcohol mess with his system. He sighed contently and leaned into Alexander.

Lafayette smiled at the dorky drunk and took his turn, landing on 'Person on your right takes a shot'. he poured a shot and passed it to Hercules along with a kiss on the cheek.

Hercules smiled and downed the shot, feeling the same buzz that John was. "Dia, tá tú chomh álainn, leanbh..." ("God, you are so beautiful, baby ...") he muttered in Irish.

"Slow those flirty tones, son," Hugh chuckled from the kitchen.

John snorted with laughter and took his turn, landing on a blank space.

Alexander, despite Herc's warning, took a turn and landed right on a 'text' tile. Like John, he ruled out Hercules immediately and ended up giving his phone to John, figuring it was only fair. "Go easy on me, won't you?"

"Maybe." He giggled and went through his phone. [Hey, Aaron. Thanks for helping me with club stuff, but don't get too friendly. I have an amazing boyfriend, after all 💗]

It didn't take long for him to respond. [Hmm... Judging by the mainly correct grammar, I'm assuming this is that amazing boyfriend.]

John giggled. [You caught me : P]

Aaron responded. [Okay. No need to get jealous.]

[Just a warning : )]

"And I'm the jealous boyfriend?" Alexander asked with a chuckle.

John ignored him and cuddled into Alexander's stomach. "My baby.." he hummed.  

[jons v. drunk] [lmao] [dw: ur not my tipe anywai ;)]

[Now it makes sense. John's a very sensible person when sober.] [And you'll be glad to know that you're not my type in the slightest.]

[rude]

John whined and grabbed Alex's wrist, taking his hand and putting it against his cheek. "I'm amazing, too.."

Alexander felt a pang of guilt. Ironically, he'd only been hanging out with Aaron so much because he wanted to make the art department as a surprise for John, but he couldn't very well tell him that. "I'm sorry.." He kissed his hand. "I love you so much, more than anyone."

John smiled and sat up a bit. "I love you too. I'm sorry for being stupid and jealous. Don't feel guilty."

"You're not an idi-" He was cut off by John squishing his cheeks together and giggling sweetly. He was always just melting his heart. When he let go of his face, Alexander smiled and put a hand behind John's head, pulling him down into a hug and holding him close. Nobody was going to hurt him anymore. "You know, I really prefer my guys with curly hair and freckles, anyways."

John smiled and looked up at him, his chin resting on his chest. "I have curly hair and freckles!"

"You do!" Alexander smiled, as if it was some sort of epiphany.

Hercules tutted and leaned against Lafayette. "I'm glad we're not soppy like that. We don't have to be for you to know I love you."

"Of course we don't," Lafayette claimed, though Hercules was just as soppy and silly.

Sarah giggled, looking over at them. They were all so sweet together, so in love, just like herself and Hugh.

Hercules looked over at her and her orange juice. "You're not drinking?" Sarah wasn't a heavy drinker by any means, but she hardly ever passed up a chance to drink with her family.

"No, not tonight."

"Why not? Everything okay?"

"Well, we were going to wait a while longer to tell you, but you're going to be an older brother."

[survivor-mountmerapi]

Ep. 12: “This round feels like a season of glee” - Steven

Anastasia

So I did something finally. I flipped on the newbies and sent Madi home. Honestly the only thing I did differently was actually think about the game and numbers. Plus I talked to people and made a really good bond with DeNara. I'm also a little better with Raffy, not that it matters bcs we are somehow getting Raffy outta here I think. I know the next competition is endurance and that's apperantly Raffy's strong suit. So frick. But I know where everything stands for once. I know who is working with who I THINK. So I just need to survive next round and gain the numbers.

Gian

My revenge is coming for being left out of this vote. Idk when and how I'll do it but I will do whatever it takes.

DeNara

Thank goodness I survived this vote! All thanks to Anastasia! I need a brain break, I am so tired now lol

Raffy

An hour before tribal council, Elle decided that she would give me the immunity necklace. The reasoning she told me is that we need a strong 4 votes to cause a tie. Anastasia told DeNara that she would be flipping on Madi and Gian by voting Rachel (which is what that side thought we were doing). Because of this, I wanted to use my SWP since they would have a 4-3 majority. However, Elle believed that we could not trust Anastasia until after tribal. Anastasia could be lying and wanting me to play the SWP (which Madi and Gian happily spread around) so the newbies would have 4-3. Despite this, I wanted to be safe because I was starting to worry that Madi would play her idol on herself. The compromise would be that Elle would give me the immunity necklace which did occur. Finally, the alliance's acting paid off as Madi misplayed the idol which caused her to get voted out. Now, the Faes alliance is the majority alliance. Wig.

I have new worries going into this round. Anastasia really wants to do big moves, so she should want to vote me out now that Madi is gone. My other worry is that Anastasia is much more loyal and is a solid ally for DeNara, not me. This means, if DeNara was so inclined, she could get the numbers to vote me out. DeNara is going to get a lot of power the further we get. It's very interesting to see what the breakdown is. Due to this, I have decided to keep my door open with Gian. Steven agreed that we could potentially work with Gian to hide behind him as a shield. Also, this is kind of an emotional thing because I really do feel close to Gian. I do not know what kind of move I'd do to keep Gian this round. If he wins immunity, then it would be great and I would not have to do any maneuvering. However, in all scenarios except one, I am betraying my allies which is not a good look for me. My idea is to finally get Rachel out this round, so it would keep Gian in the game while keeping my allies good with me.

Raffy

I got on call with Gian earlier today to express a desire to work with him to target Anastasia or DeNara. I was doing a lot of talking during the call which had me worry as he seemed to just be taking in this information without providing any back. This had me skeptical on whether or not he wanted to work with me. My skepticism was correct. According to DeNara, Gian told Anastasia that I want to target her for being a wildcard this round. He used the information I gave him against me. However, thanks to my very good relationship with DeNara, I am now in the know that he does not want to work with me. Bye Gian. Say hi to Madi in jury for me. I might just use my SWP just to be sure. Plus, it forces Anastasia to target Gian instead of me for this round.

Raffy

The current plan is for DeNara to tell Anastasia that she is willing to flip after a bit of reluctance. In actuality, we are just trying to make them think that Gian is the vote. At tribal, we will all vote for Rachel instead in case there is an idol. I am VERY nervous for this tribal. I do not want to be here. According to DeNara, Elle would be the person the newbies vote for if I leave which is perfectly fine with me. I need to survive. I have to get to F6. There's really no guarantee that this plan even works in the first place. And does DeNara even trust me after hearing all that information from Gian's rat mouth? UGH. The paranoia is way too high for my liking.

DeNara

Honestly this game is so tiring, why do I torture myself with this stress? Oh because I love Survivor that's why. Lol. Soooooo Anastasia wants to flip on Raffy, Steven and Elle and take Raffy out of the game because he is a threat. Which means I am in the middle....AGAIN. It is Raffy, Elle, and Steven vs. Gian, Rachel and Anastasia. I want to stay with Raffy, Elle and Steven and take out Rachel this vote and then flip and take Raffy out next vote so I can keep the numbers but I am super super super nervous of Raffy. I caught Raffy in a lie today. I talked to Gian and he said he was on call with Steven and Raffy earlier and that Raffy was throwing my name out because I have a good relationship with Elle, Rachel and Anastasia (which I do). I called Steven and he admitted that the 3 of them did talk, but he said that Raffy was saying Rachel the whole time, not me. BUT when I went on call with Raffy, Steven and Elle I told Raffy that Gian said he went on call with him and he started to make an excuse saying he was at school all day and that wasn't true. THEN Steven said to Raffy that he already told me they were on call so Raffy had to back track..... All the newbies are saying to Raffy that they are voting for me.... so I am scared Raffy is working with the newbies to get me out since I have become such a threat.

Steven says it wouldn't make any sense for Raffy to flip and get me out now, but if they all think I have become a bigger threat than Raffy, he could very well flip and take me out. I really really hope Raffy is being honest about wanting to vote Rachel out or I am super hecked tomorrow. Here is to hoping I am in the game after the next tribal!!!!!!!

Gian

After a very insightful conversation with the VL, I've decided to grab the game by the balls and attempt to get out the kingpin of the game (again) or at least weaken him by taking out one of his minions. I'm being super careful this time about everything. Saying the right things to the right people can cause panic and paranoia and victimizing myself from the last vote--I'm using that to my advantage. Let's hope this pays off. If not, at least I'm leaving with a big swing!

DeNara

My morning of paranoia continues. I don't think Raffy will flip because it would be a stupid move rn, but I do think I need to be careful. This will likely be the last time I can truly play the middle like I have been.

I feel so bad about lying to Anastasia because she did save me, but this is what is best for my game. I also feel bad for Rachel because we have gotten close and I dont want to vote her out. Really I want Gian out next but I have to stick with my alliance.

Rachel

I love the misconceptions of this game. Even if i'm on the outside. That was an excellent play by the returnees. I am so sad to see Madi go! She was with Gian and I since day 1. I can never repay her for using her idol for me. I am just shocked Anastasia flipped too, but I understand her reasoning (even though i thought we we're a solid 4). Hopefully we can make a big move this round and if not, we'll go out trying! I just hope Gian and I are truly not at the bottom. I wish we got Raffy out sooner, but only cause he is such a great player-socially and strategically.

Elle

I'm in class rn lol but here's a convo I just had with Dylan in my Host Chat 10:10 AM VL: The amount of lies I've heard and confirmed they are lies before 9am is absolutely terrifying to me 😅 GUYS THIS IS GONNA BE SO MESSY OMG Dylan, 10:12 AM wild what all is happening 10:14 AM so yesterday, gian went on call with steven and raffy to vote denara out but then on our alliance call, raffy tried to deny any meeting when denara asked, until steven was like "no okay we called, to vote out rachel" and now denara is being a double agent trying to convince the newbies shes gonna vote for raffy in exchange for safety so it seems like maybe the newbies dont actually want denara out and are trying to scare her into siding with them? why raf and steven are lying i dont know Dylan, 10:18 AM spicy [tiktok voice] that’s suspicious...that’s weird re: raffy and steven 10:20 AM mhm?? like it's fine if they're tricking the newbies but why lie to us anyway im perfectly out of the direct loop completely because now ppl think im completely in raffy's pocket but also that me and denara are probs close so im just "she's there." Dylan, 10:22 AM oof not a fun position to be in 10:23 AM nah im fine w it i hate lying lmao this way im mostly just watching it happen while talking to ppl about like, good playlists khjdlsajldj

Anastasia

So I got Denara on board with teaming with the newbies and together we will all take down Raffys trio hopefully. We will most likely target Elle instead of Raffy so we can take out one of his minions. I think the safest option would be to vote Steven because I think nobody would expect that but Gian insists Elle. I think Elle has an idol. Lets just hope she feels safe. ALSO IM SO GLAD IM SAFE but now im just worried for my future because I obviously need numbers to move on.

Elle

D: I don't knowwww whats happening okay so basically it seems like neither side has an idol and is psyching the other out that they do but probability wise at least one person has an idol rn??? So idk ugh :/ what the heck is going on anyway I'm making a playlist and i need new music for it send me a song recc everyone reading this like a month later i promise ill give any song a listen🎶

Raffy

The plan seems to be going well. DeNara has successfully infiltrated the newbie group and is leaking their shit. According to her, the newbies are scared that I have an idol and want to target Elle instead. I would love to push this narrative, but I don't know how. If I can get them to target Elle over me, then this would be great. However, I do believe now that they do not have an idol based on all that DeNara has spilled on their paranoia. It should be a successful 4-3 with Rachel getting the boot. Then, I am guaranteed F5 in this game.

Steven

This round feels like a season of glee where people are just trying to hit plot points with no rhyme or reason

Steven

https://youtu.be/xfJ6x988Dqw

DeNara

I am in the middle and so stressed. Do I vote Rachel or Raffy?!?!?!?! Maybe it is me

DeNara

I am so stressed... oh my gosh! If I get voted out, it was a great move by the others and I will regret not voting Raffy

[survivorsolomonislands]

Episode 6 “bye bye winning streak” - Karen

The complete opposite of what usually happens, Aro did my dirty work instead of me doing his! I'm so proud of him but I revealed a lot of stuff about our connection to Mitchell yesterday bc I was certain he wouldn't be able to pull off a change in the vote but I'm really glad he did anyways bc now I still have an unflappable ally in the game and someone who was actively targeting me like two weeks ago is gone instead! :)))

I can't believe that actually worked. We probably could have gotten out Daisy like planned but we thought she was gonna use her idol last minute so we switched to Monty. But either way, I live to see another day.

Also! I've outperformed myself in Arabia so that's lit! Day 16 y'all!

I know I say this in like all of my confessionals, but I'm really worried for this challenge. Like its so simple, but that's what makes it hard? and I mess up really easily too, so I'm a bit nervous.

Hi I'm zakrazzak and i think im in a good position in this game? i never feel like that in any game ever i always just assume im gonna be voted out should we end up at tribal but this time i feel... completely safe with just about everyone??? weird. i think me, mitch, and dana lowkey made a f3? but like dana hates duos and they both know me and aro are fuckbuddies so im a little concerned. they both kinda really want to get karen out because she and lexi are pretty much a duo and we all know it, no ones heard anything about the idol yet and im assuming someone has it to be honest so that could make things messy. I'm pretty much just assuming we're going to tribal at this point and, for me, the choice would be down to either Karen or Allie - Karen and Lexi are way too dangerous and were targeting me week one, Allie pretty much just doesnt talk. im kinda really worried about voting out another vet so soon seeing as Linus and Monty the traitor just left back to back but I'm hopeful a little i guess

Man, I gotta tell you... ok i just noticed the top of the confessional page is a gif??? Wtf!! Okay so where was I.......... during the challenge, I thought that Aromal needed to win it to be safe. He basically confirmed what we'd suspected - that he'd flipped to Linus and Monty, and then Monty had flipped on Linus, leaving him on the outs. Aromal seems like a great guy and a potential ally, so it definitely sucked sending him off to Tribal Council. It even got to the point where I saw if I could give him my Idol - the people who would survive on that tribe probably don't have my interests at heart, but Aromal might. I couldn't, and was resigned to the fact that Aromal, a good potential ally, would be going. But then Aromal survived and Monty got axed!!! I was absolutely FLOORED to see that. FLOORED. I liked Monty and think in another world we could've worked together, but it's about damn time the Karen/Lexi/Monty clique got taken out, and it's even better that I didn't have to do anything but stay immune for four consecutive rounds in order to make it happen. Aromal survives, a potential ally but admittedly a member of a threatening obvious trio went home, and I lived to see another day. And on another note... I hope that I don't start to get seen as a challenge threat. Admittedly, I did win the last two immunity challenges for my tribe by myself, but speed typing and Jeopardy! are like the only two challenges I'm good at. That's not necessarily true, as I proved in Malaysia that I'm a bit of a force in challenges from Snake to Touchy Subjects, but in a tribal setting, the two challenges I won are ones that I'm dominant in and can't hide if I want to protect my tribe. I'm hoping that I've created strong enough bonds so that people aren't seeing me as a challenge threat - they're seeing me as my ally Mitchell who's been doing good for our tribe. But it's going to come down to some point where I can't deny my challenge abilities, and I'm working to prepare myself for when that happens.

I FUCKED UP THAT CHALLENGE. FUCK FUCK FUCK. I just feel awful, even though I was the last one left, I just feel like Makira immunity was all on me, and I let everyone down. I know we haven't officially lost yet but it sorta feels like we have since we all fucked up early. I was looking at another number and got distracted, so I really have no excuse, and god I just feel awful about it idk. On another really terrible note, I think someone else has the idol. Because Allie looked in the plane wreck, and there was nothing there. Also when Karen sent us the spreadsheet that the vets made someone had looked in the plane wreckage, so that means one of the vets has the idol :////. I could be completely wrong about this but I don't think its Karen or Mitchell that have the idol because Karen sent the spreadsheet before she looked for the idol that round, and Mitchell made some joke about expired Walmart coupons, which was on Karen's spreadsheet for where the idol wasn't. So that must mean that either Dana or Zakriah have the idol. Also on the vets spreadsheet it has it as the idol is not in the plane wreckage, so whoever found the idol must be lying about it to the other vets. But I also could be completely wrong about this, so yeah.

Recently the game has been going pretty well for me. After losing Lily, two vets have gone home, which has put the numbers in our favor. I high-key hope that LA and Daisy lose that challenge for their tribe, and take out Aro for flipping on Lily, and it also seems like Daisy and LA left Aro out of the loop on the last vote, so getting rid of him would be like getting rid of a vet. Jacob made me aware that he fucked up on the immunity challenge, and I know my score was about average, so at this point, we're falling on Luca to do really well, and we're also falling on another tribe to fuck up, so I'm hardcore hoping at this point. I thought we were going to swap this past round, but we're still here, and if this tribe heads to tribal council, I don't entirely know what my plan is, BUT I do know that I was offered a f4 deal with the vets, which I might play up, but I'm not entirely too sure about it. I might cohesively vote out Luca, with the vets and Jacob, and hope that that's a good long term move on my part, with keeping Ryan, Matt and Lex trusting me, but I'm not entirely too sure how it'll all play out, but at this point, I am expecting to go to tribal council and have a crazy round of tribal ahead of us.

I think I just orchestrated a master plan, and I made this because I'm extra careful, and really covering all my bases, but if this works, I'm going to come out of this tribal with a strong alliance of four, consisting of two veterans, and letting all three rookies from this tribe stay in it, leaving me, and my closest ally, Jacob, in the power position in this game. First I need to backtrack. I spoke to Matt a few rounds ago, and he was badgering me about a final four alliance with the vets.... mkay dude. That's definitely going to happen *shakes head furiously behind his back.* However, apparently he had been having conversations with Luca, and Luca was insistent to Matt that Lexi needed to go home, and that it'd be easy since she was inactive, but that's not the path I'm looking to take here. Lexi is the veteran in the game I'm probably the closest to, and I would almost prefer Luca the rookie go home over Lex, because she's proven to be a great ally, and an incredible asset to my game. My plan was to approach Lexi, and go back to the relationship deal we made the night we swapped, go up to her, and make an approach of letting her decide whether she'd prefer Ryan or Matt to go home. Once she said she would prefer to vote for Matt, I knew that I could use a lot of what Matt said to Luca, against Matt. I told Lex that Matt said if enough votes were there to take out Lex, she would do it, which made Lex be more willing to take Matt out of the game, and I set the ball in motion to make it happen. I went to Jacob and Luca to explain the plan of Lex flipping to us, to vote out Matt, and that Luca needs to get the thought out of his head of taking Lex out of the game, mainly because she is one of my closest allies. As of right now: Lex is with me, and she is voting out Matt with Jacob, Luca and I, and hopefully, unless Matt has an idol, Matt is going to go home. HOWEVER, Matt thinks that I have a f4 deal with Lex, Matt and Ryan, and that we're all voting for Luca. Matt wants to vote for Luca because Luca is apparently threatening, for outright targeting Lex, and being too strategic, so that works out fine for me. Luca and Matt should be the only two targeted. My plan heading into this tribal, assuming we even lose the challenge, is for Lex to be the one to approach Ryan, and she is going to propose a four person alliance between Jacob, Ryan, Lex and I, and this way, we can make a chat, and rope Ryan in into voting for Matt, and letting him know that the four of us need to make sure that all of the votes, regardless of who goes home, the votes are on Luca and Matt. I don't see Lex, or Ryan for that matter, lying about their vote, because I don't get the vibe that they're super cutthroat, like I am, so hopefully we're going to be good. Five of us voting for Matt, and Matt thinking that the vets and me are voting for Luca. Time to pray that we don't lose immunity, but if we lose, I'm all planned out, in a very discrete manner as well To enable screen reader support, press shortcut Ctrl+Alt+Z. To learn about keyboard shortcuts, press shortcut Ctrl+slash.

Today was very interesting. It's been the first time in ages since we knew we did poorly in an immunity, and the swapped Temoana might be going to tribal council for the very first time. We're not allowed to share our scores but we know we did poorly. And something interesting, game-related finally happened. I was talking to Johnny and Jacob today in our three, and Matt apparently approached Johnny for an F4 because he wants the Vets and him to vote me out if we lose - he's saying I'm playing hard. I brought Lexi up to him before, and quite honestly that was because she wasn't online much. But now that she's back on, I think I'm gonna need to try and work with her. Matt is a snake and he's playing the game very hard right now. I trust Johnny/Jacob enough to tie it. Lexi promised me she wouldn't vote me, so I think I'm safe today. Hopefully. No idea on what Ryan is doing right now.

https://youtu.be/7gezFtMRsFc

Well this challenge has been really interesting, basically I was kind of already resigned to losing the challenge because I was under the impression we were gonna show some like single digit scores, but I guess we won. I'm happy about winning because we have six pretty good people on this tribe and if we swap I have this nuTemoana alliance and the old Vets who I could potentially align with, but who knows what's going to happen? Basically tho, I think I am in a good spot on this tribe because I pretty much orchestrated a blindside of Luca that we aren't actually going to be playing out but oh well... I'm kind of eager to play this game just so I can really get my finger on the pulse of this strategic game, but if I have to sit back and play from the shadows and just observe then so be it, call me the Shadow King, because I will be so god damn sneaky no one will see me coming until i slit their throats. Slice slice.

YO FOR REAL I'M ACTUALLY SO MOTHERFUCKING PISSED THAT OUR TRIBE LOST THIS CHALLENGE! I'M GOING TO LOSE MY FUCKING MIND THAT *ME* DOING WELL IN A CHALLENGE IS GOING TO BE THE DOWNFALL FOR MY GAME. I am 99% sure that Matt would've gone home, and that would've taken a vet out of the game, and now Willow or Allie is going to probably going home, unless they pull a horse shoe out of their ass, and those are two of my closest long term allies in this game, and all of a sudden, they're at risk, and my team is going to fucking be safe, when I had convinced Lex to make such a BIG move, and now, we can't even make the move, all because I fucking did too well in the challenge. I'm actually losing my mind how badly I fucked this up for my game, and I didn't MEAN to do well, it just fucking happened. I hate being good at shit! FUCKKKKKKKKKKK

FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE THE SWAP ULAWA IS NOT GOING TO TRIBAL AND ITS ALL THANKS TO ME. I DON'T CARE HOW COCKY OR BRAGGY THAT SOUNDS BECAUSE MY SCORE ALONE BEAT THE OTHERS TRIBES TOTALS. And Aro fucking threw the thing, he told me he wanted to in order to make daisy use her idol but that was the stupidest fucking idea and I told him no, that we need to win for once and then he throws it anyways. Daisy's score wasn't the greatest either, IT MUST BE SO NICE HAVING AN IDOL CAUSE APPARENTLY IT MEANS YOU DON'T HAVE TO TRY. CAN YOU TELL HOW BITTER I AM?! Honestly though, maybe its because I game a lot, but I'm used to having teammates who actually help and put effort in. We might make jokes about one person carrying the team but its all in good fun and the rest of us do help, BUT NOT ON ULAWA. (still a little bitter over here) I'm worried this will put a bigger target on my back, if Daisy already considers me to be a challenge threat, this does no help my case at all and others might share that concern now too. At this point I'm just hoping the alliances I made before the swap are still there and I can move forward with them. I am happy we, I, won though. It might not seem like it but I am so relieved for once I don't have to stress about tribal.

Who're the three best challenge performers on NuMakira?? Me, Dana, and Karen. But all three of us were busy!! So Allie, Willow, and Zak came up to the plate. It's an easy challenge. It's... counting. It's literally fucking counting. I've won four immunity challenges in a row and all that stands between me and #5 is counting. All they gotta do is count. ...that's it. Now I've never done this challenge before, but I assume it shouldn't be that difficult to count, right?? WRONG WDFEWDFSDCEWDSAHONFWD within like 2 hours all three of them were out, so we had an entire extra day to prepare for Tribal Council. The results came in and our lowest scorer did better than both of Ulawa's lowest - AROMAL GOT A FUCKING 1 - but we STILL got obliterated, with LA and Johnny putting Ulawa and Temoana respectively into the thousands themselves. We got beat by a bunch of numbers. This sucks - going to Tribal Council is never a good thing. That being said... I've been on cruise control for a while, and now I get to actually play. I've harbored thoughts of making a move against Karen for some time, and now that we're actually going to Tribal - particularly as I suspect there is going to be a swap next - I'm excited that I've had the chance to shore up some trust. Willow and I have been good, but I had a very good and lengthy conversation with the ICON Allie last night. I really like Allie's energy and her vibe, but last night was our first real extended conversation, and it went really well. We talked a lot of game, she gave me a lot of insight into the rookies' tribe, and I feel... good about it. Allie and Willow have both said that this is, if not their first, ONE of their first ORGs ever. Now, they could be lying, and using this information to mislead my opinions of them, but I'm choosing to trust them. What benefit do they have in making up an entire backstory both for themselves and for the OG veterans' tribe? I like them, and so I believe them, and if Karen goes home 5-1, I will trust them without doubts. Moving into a swap, I'm piecing together who I can draft into a majority merge alliance - if everything goes smoothly at this Tribal Council, I'd say that the five remaining NuMakira plus Aromal would be my ideal. Relationships with Matt and Ryan will hopefully still be in tact and exploitable for the early merge. I truly think that, from the information I have - which is a lot, if it's all true - I'm sitting in a rather enviable position with Dana. We seem to be on the same wavelength on our own opinions and in the ways others feel to us. I hope that Dana doesn't try to bite the apple and oust me eventually for this reason; I like her a lot and I'd like to work with her for as long as possible. However, I can't help but have doubts about how good this partnership can truly be, and will remain vigilant to hopefully catch whenever this betrayal should arise, if ever. I will be shoring up my relationships with Allie and Willow for as long as we have left on this tribe, and will make sure Dana and Zak are okay with booting Karen. Then we dancin. Things are going so well I expect to get fucked up real good any day now.

It looks like it'll be Karen tonight but I trust not a single bitch until after tribal council results are read and I'm still in the game.

I'm honestly so worried about this vote, like it could go so many different ways fuck. I'm especially worried because I did so terrible in the challenge yesterday, and sorta all of the challenges in general. There are so many ways this vote could go right now and I'm not really sure what to do. Because its probably going to be me or Karen going home tonight. Okay so the first scenario is that Karen flips on a revote. She said she was trying to convince the other vets to split the vote in case we might have an idol (which we don't lmao). Then Karen said it would be 2-2-2 in which case it would go to a revote, and she would flip and it would be 3-2-1, or it would be tied. If me and Allie sided with Karen then it maybe wouldn't be me going home idk. Also I'm pretty sure we could trust Karen, at least for this vote. The other scenario would be going with Dana and Mitchell and Zakriah(?) to vote out Karen. So I'm hoping its a unanimous vote to get Karen out, or else I'm screwed lol. 

ANYWAY! bye bye winning streak......me when i thot we could go thruout for this whole tribe swap without going to tribal but ! here ! we! are! ugh ok so as far as i know, zak and mitchell were gonna vote for me the first tribal so i dont see a reason not to snatch them this round, u kno show them not to mess w me. ok so basically ive made fairly strong bonds with both willow and allie, and as far as i can tell we are a solid 3 and tbqh im not here for picking the rookies off one by one and obviously i gotta be friendly w everyone bc u never kno what circumstances youll end up in. so i have an all vet alliance and a rookie alliance, they both have docs with idol info on it and basically this is the best position for me bc i can find the clue faster, which! i did and i shared it with the rookies so that they can help me look. but the thing is tho the clue clearly says that it has something to do with the plane wreckage but its already been checked? so i think i may have to do it in order which is ok it guess but hopefully i stay on this tribe long enough to figure the rest out. so all day i was thinking of a way that me and rookies can get our way this tribal, and im talking to the vets about idols and such and basically scare them into thinking that one of them having it bc weve been flopping when it comes to looking for them so, i propose a 2-2-2 vote as an easy way to flush any idol and even if it ties, we'd have majority on revote but! jokes on them bc im flipping to the rookies to make it 3-2-1 for zak. this plan is one of my better simpler ones, but it relies on no idols actually being played and the vets being naive enough to think that we'd all be sticking together.

[survivor-all-stars-blog]

EP 5: “I’m Not a Psycopath” - Jake

looking at what everyone says, about this being an all star season and strategy being so intense, but??? its not intense for me... is it just bc i havent been to tribal? like i hope im not playing too slow bc i dont wanna go 

so it turns out i'm the swing vote. that's what it seems like anyway.

but before we get into that, let's get into why i'm at tribal council.

i've been super tired and aware of this freaking big gigantic group of people who all kinda knew each other before the game started!! it was especially tiring when the challenge was to have them decide who won immunity basically and have the people who were fucked not do anything to try to stop it. honestly i don't blame them because we were literally fucked but i was still pissed! 

at first i was afraid of being voted off by matt and the stevens, but it turns out that i'm the ~swing vote!~ i'm not sure if i can believe it, but it seems that it's abbey and steffen vs matt and steven?? matt and steven made an alliance with me, and at first they were totally obvious about wanting abbey to go over steffen but steffen told steven he wanted to vote matt off i guess and it made them more open towards doing it? so i took the opportunity and drove votes towards him because i know steffen is a player who would backstab to stay in the game, and i respect that! but do i want that in the game, on the same tribe as me? not really. plus it'd make it easier for steffen to go on his other tribe and jake wants him gone.

i had to lie to abbey and steffen about my vote, but that's the game i guess. i feel bad but if this ends up backfiring against me, i'm fine with it! abbey and steffen are LEGENDS if that's the case. matt and steven can choke xoxo

super tired and have had enough. wish my ass luck

THE MOST AMAZING TRIBE I EVER DID SEE I LOVE THE ALPHABET!

ALRIGHT SO i tried to vote matt out bc like he knows everyone and he scares me. so i like got the idea rolling with steffen and steven bc like ? i thot i could vaguely trust steven but i guess not. anyway matt told me he knew and i knew he knew bc he told lydia and lydia told me. anyway so he was like its fine if u vote for me so i was like lmao ok. anyway he got the vote on steffen so i look like a dumbass but what else is new. and i got swapped and im still with matt so ugly. im with jack still which is cool, but i lost pat which is not cool. im with jakey and gage who ive heard good things about so thats cool. NOT WITH LYDIA STILL WHICH IS UGLY. 

I just realized that the location for this season is Space & Time/Digital World, yet our tribe names are based on bodies of water and mountains that are on Earth. This is some Earth favoritism, I tell you what.

A SWAP FINALLY HAPPENED.  So, I'm now on a tribe with Steffen, Steven, Wes and Pat.  How do I feel about being the only girl on this tribe?  I'm not sure.  Like, I'm definitely glad I have Steffen.  I played in IHOS4 and he's just always SO nice, I absolutely adore him, we talked a lot before the swap.  I'm just nervous about his whole having one life thing.  Like, I'm sure my tribe is going to want to get him out but I want to keep him safe for as long as I possibly can.  Then we have Steven who I've been talking to and who I was on a tribe with prior and I like him a lot.  I know that Steven and Steffen both have my back, or I hope they do.  I think they are at odds, which is definitely a good thing for me, but if they can come together for a vote or two we might be able to get out Wes or Pat.  They kind of scare me, like A LOT.  

On my other tribe I'm in a bit of a pickle and I'm trying to be as careful as possible, I just hope we win win win.  I'm on a tribe with MJ, Kait, Carson and JC, I think.  Anyway, today I made the alliance chat with MJ and Kait so I feel solid there, but Kait insisted I make the alliance which I kind of hate.  I learned from Alex last season to always let someone else do the dirty work of creating the alliance chat, but I did this one so we'll just see.  

Carson is also on our tribe and I absolutely LOVE her.  She's who I'm most loyal to right now and I definitely don't want her to know I'm aligned with both MJ and Kait, it would mess my entire game up. 

I'm super nervous about winning immunity tomorrow, I want to keep up not having to go to tribal council! 

Welcome back to my rants about the game, even though now it seems like it's turning into All Stars: Soap Opera version, that's probably seen on E channel or something. I say that because thing whole playing with friends thing? It's too complicated and it's like there is no right move or right time to make it. 

I don't even know where to start. I was on a call with Kait and MJ and found out that Kait told MJ about Jake's advantage. I underestimated how close they were, and I wasn't expecting her to spread this information when we all know how well connected MJ is. This puts me in a poor position, because now MJ knows that I kept it from him. It's hypocritical for me to be upset about this though, because I told Jimmy about it. Although Jimmy isn't as connected as MJ is, and I trust him to to tell others. 

With the immunity challenge what it was, there was an increase in strategy talks as people tried to keep themselves safe, and for the most part I think people wanted to save the 3 person tribes. In Game A, Kait told me that Steven had started talking to Matt write away to bring together the 2 small tribes to work with Bering. It became obvious quickly that Caspian was the target, which worries me for Jake and Owen, but I know I can't trust them. Jessy was in a mood about Caspian losing, but couldn't do much about it without shooting Hudson in the foot. While sorting out a list for Bering, I talked to Steven in private about targeting Caspian because they've been to Adventureland a lot, so that Steven was able to bring it up in the tribe chat and I could sort of sneak by without looking like I was actively targeting a tribe that some of my friends were on. For someone with a guilty conscience, I sure suck at showing it sometimes. Steffen used a golden apple, which is complete bullshit, because he was going to get booted entirely (or so was the plan according to Jake) and now he gets off and gets to return with two votes. Meanwhile I go to Adventureland once and pass out after 2 seconds. 

In Game B, it was more of a clusterfuck. Owen didn't want to repay Kait and Pat for saving us, and Logan thought of targeting the other 3 person tribe to try and get Ricardo to go to both tribals and out of the game. Meanwhile Owen wanted to send Denali to tribal, in an attempt to get Lydia completely out. I was going to relent and hope for the best with Jimmy going to tribal, but Logan came in and was very direct in the tribe chat that they wanted to put Jannu last. I didn't want to push it too much to limit any trouble I could potentially be in if news travelled back to Steffen, but Matt pretty much okay'ed it to Kait that we could send them without consequence. Steven messaged me and asked if I could help keep Jannu safe, and I had to skirt around that a little bit, but I talked with him today and I think I'm okay there. 

I feel like I have a couple of smaller alliances, and by small I mean duos, as I'd like to think that I'm working with Kait, MJ, Owen, Logan, Carson, Steven, Jimmy, Pat and to some extent Lydia. Logan, Carson and Pat have all sent me what happened to them at Adventureland, like full on receipts. I don't know why Kait didn't, but I'm trying not to overthink it. Although at this point, I only trust Jimmy, with slight trust in Pat, Carson and Steven. Ricardo left in Game A tonight, and Jake said he was yelling at him in private. Yikes. Didn't think he'd take it that hard. Matt got some votes, but Steffen left in Game B. I think Abbey voted with him, so that's interesting. I knew they were close, but why risk it? Afterwards, we swapped, and at first I was super excited because I thought it had worked out for me. My first tribe is me, Kait and Jimmy, which is nice because it's an instant majority, but we also got JC and Jessy on the tribe. This is a massive, and I mean an EXTRAORDINARILY MASSIVE problem for me. With an endurance challenge this weekend, a weekend where Jimmy, Kait and I are all very busy, it's a very real possibility that we lose. If we lose, Kait will 100% want Jessy gone. They do not talk, and she loves JC. Don't get me wrong, I love JC as well, but I don't want to lose Jessy this early. If I get rid of Jessy, I lose her and Jake as allies, way too early in the game as far as I'm concerned. Ideally I'd want to tell JC and Kait that I would vote with Jessy as a facade, because we'd know that Jimmy would vote with them, but we can't expose ourselves to JC like that and Kait would never let me get away with keeping myself in good standing with Jake while she wouldn't be. I'm in a mood tonight, but I fucking hate how much power this game has to destroy relationships. I think I'm okay for the swap on Game B, as I stayed with Logan and Owen as a core, and brought over Steven and Gage. Gage is the only one I haven't spoken lots too, and Jimmy and Kait have both asked me to keep him safe although I'm not sure if I can. Sidenote: Maybe I can because I'm pissed as fuck at Owen right now. My goal tonight is to create the start of a relationship with Gage so I can cover all my bases. 

As for why I'm pissed at Owen, keep reading. I get a cryptic message from Ricardo, saying basically, "hey, are you around?". I was, and he proceeded to send me a picture of his conversation with Owen. See below:

He said basically that he didn't care what really happened, but he just wanted to let me know. Now, I'm pissed because Owen is clearly throwing me under the bus here, blaming the Caspian loss on me (as well as MJ and Kait) while also exposing an alliance that I thought was somewhat under wraps. What makes me even more pissed, is that I told Kait and MJ that this had happened, and MJ said he got it too. I'm under the assumption that MJ and Owen aren't that close, so I doubt that he would've told him, but I would not be surprised if Kait told Owen, just to soften the blow of the loss. I literally went back and went through all my conversations I had yesterday, to make sure that I didn't accidentally expose who I was talking to (because I was getting suspicious that Logan might've told Owen since they've gotten close and now are on both tribes together) but I didn't. Something it just going on, something really shady, and I've just come to the realization that everyone is here for themselves and for the win and I better watch my back if I get in their way. 

I found out last night on my call with Jake that I was drafted the most out of everyone, which has me a) shaken, b) guilty with letting people down and dealing with pressure and finally c) worried that I'll be targeted for that since Jake brought it up for that first before we knew it was me. 

(To accompany the last confessional) Heavy is the head that wears the crown, I guess.

**DISCLAIMER I have had a few wobbly pops **

Okay so the vote for going to tribal... look, it sucked. It meant Matt and Lydia went to tribal, and Steffen was doubly vulnerable. But pushing for an individual is a bad move this early, as Jessy nearly found out. 

Anyway, Ricardo (cool) and Steffen (unacceptable) were voted out. I'm glad Steffen used his apple, which he let me know ahead of time was coming into play, because it made it easier to adapt and also really reassured me on him.

Anyway, the swaps have left me of a few minds... mostly positive. Here's where I stand with my new tribemates:

HUDSON: Pat: Greatest person ever. Ruthie: Super lovely. Kind every time we've spoken. But — and here's the problem — that hasn't been much. Steffen: Bae <3 Not voting him out any time soon. Steven: Super friendly dude and one of the people I've been clicking with in the early game. Like him. Want to work with him. Wes: Um have you been paying attention? My dude. Love him.

THOTSE: Jack: Also my dude. Jack is an incredible ally and a better human being. Jessy: Who? Sorry. We haven't talked. Lydia: My dudette. Lydia's one of my favourite people and she gets infinitely more hate than she deserves. Pat: Total all-star. Wes: Um have you been paying attention? My dude. Love him.

So if either tribe goes to tribal, I hope the vote lands on the person I'm not confident with. Anything else would suck. 

I would say more but I got nothing more to say.

I TYPED THIS AND THEN NEVER SENT IT BUT IT BELONGS IN LAST EPISODE I'M CREYING

soooo I'm a little bit pissed about the immunity?? of course kait and her army of minions get together and decide which tribes will be losing and it's infuriating because like... Not only did they decide my tribe would go to tribal and then worm kait's way into an adventure on game b, but like how fucking blind is everyone????? I doubt that other people don't notice what happened. It's just a matter of getting them all together. If Kait and MJ and Jenn can cast their spell on people like Logan and Jack, then I'll just have to build an army of my own.

Jake and Lydia were piiiiissssed about what happened so I know I could get them on my side, and whoever they bring with them, like hopefully Abbey and Jessy. I think Steffen would side with us if he lasts that long. But with tribes this small, it doesn't take a whole lot to target specific people, or to keep them safe, so we'll just have to see.

What sucks is like... I really like Kait and I really want to be friends with her and I AM friends with her and I was looking forward to working with her but I just... Don't feel like I'm cool enough. People are saying she only plays with and sticks with her friends because otherwise it gets too messy and like.... I'm not good enough huh! Soooo I don't know. 

Tonight, it's pretty clear Ricardo has to go, but I know he's loyal to me and I know he'll still be in the game and I don't know what to do about it or how to tell him.

I tried everything in my power to change the outcome of this immunity, and in the end, nothing even mattered kajsfdhsdj I'm way too cute to go down like this huh

Soooo I lowkey feel bad because I told Steffen to use his apple in game a instead of game b, even though he wouldn't have been voted out. I said like "we need that extra vote in a swap" or whatever, but in reality, I just wanted him to use it so that I could convince Jake to vote for Ricardo instead omg. So my convenience came at the expense of one of Steffen's lives, and he was super upset about it, and I feel kind of responsible... But also he had seemed confident about his other tribe when he clearly shuoldn't have!!!

Ricardo was PIIIISSSSSED I tried to tell him that it was because he had been spreading shit to lydia and jake which of course was total bs but I didn't want him to hate me and he still does so that's fine. But luckily this swap worked out the way it did :') and I'm not with him. JAKE IS THO AND THAT SUCKS ASS FASJHKSJDFHKJ

But somehow jenn logan and I are still on the same tribe, and then gage is on that tribe too, and lydia logan and I are on the other :') Idk if I can trust Logan... I really truly don't, because he told Lydia that I was coming after her LMAO even tho I was just pretending to as an excuse to see if I could change the challenge outcome. But regardless, he's  on both of my tribes, and since i know he's looking out for Lydia, I made an alliance with the three of us.

The other excellent thing about the swap is that we literally have MJ right in a position where we can cut his throat :') which is good. He needs to gooo

But I'm also very worried about the adventure... Because a whoooole bunch of people went, and this is the first time people went that didn't tell me what they found or where they went to. That Volcano still has a shitload of secrets and I'm afraid they've taken all of my goodies :'( but we'll see

I have to go on the adventure this time, so my ass better win first place!

Playing Tumblr Survivor highlights a lot of things I dislike about myself, including being bad at connecting with people and feeling inadequate at things. I'm probably just projecting negative feelings onto the game but boy howdy does it suck.

I am failing SO hard at this challenge.  Who knew I was so slow when it came to replying to things like this?  My tribe on game A and on game B are both currently losing and if this is kept up I know I'm going to be the one gone which completely SUCKS.  I'm not ready to be gone yet.  There hasn't been a new task in 5 hours, so if another is posted soon and I work really hard we still have a chance!  I'm just so SLJLSDJF, iits so frustrating.  I've been around to work on the challenge but I'm just SO slow compared to everyone else when it comes to replying, how are they doing so well?

Okay, I literally just started talking to Wes but I really like him, I'm getting such good vibes!  I love Jannu, MJ, Kait, Carson and JC are awesome but I'm gelling so well with everyone on Hudson.  We are sucking at this challenge but they are my favorite tribe yet, crazily enough.  Like, they aren't fake, everything just seems so real with them. 

Have I talked about how much I love Wes yet?   [1/15/17, 9:39:44 AM] Ruthie: SAME.  I’m thinking I’m so screwed because both of my tribes are losing RIP. [1/15/17, 9:41:12 AM] Wes: I don't subscribe to the dual boot coordinating [1/15/17, 9:41:44 AM] Wes: Smells like an alliance I'm not a part of [1/15/17, 9:41:48 AM] Wes: Lmao [1/15/17, 9:41:51 AM] Ruthie: Ooooooh thank god. I'M NOT DEAD YET! 

someone let me know why steffen gave the points to the two tribes who were about to beat mine and now are?????? thanks steffen is fucking CANCELLED

And also, everyone else is cancelled too cause apparently jenn jake mj and kait were on call last night for who knows how many hours i wouldn't be surprised if they're still on the fucking call where's my invite lemme know friends!!!!!!!!!!!1 FUCK

SO im headed off to my first tribal and im not happy about it at all

i really have no idea what will happen but i gotta get to work

also, last night throughout the challenge me and jessy talked so much and i literally love her shes great. 

me and jessy talked a lot of strategy and shes as worried about kait's 'clique' as I am, and she thinks shes screwed in game a, which... looking at her tribe? 3 malaysia people? yeah.

me and ruthie gotta try to survive on game b and then ill go from there! lets see if i can survive at least ONE tribal

Hey so I haven't been doing too many confessionals but I think that's just because not much has been going on for me? I've just been laying low UTR, trying to not make big waves this early in the game. I think my best connections would be with Steffen, Kait, Mj, jenn and Ricardo? Idk. 

But now I'm soooo worried, because here I am going to tribal in both games, which has a track record of not ending well in the slightest. I have my alliance with Kait and Jenn in NuBering which will hopefully keep me safe there? Though I'd have to vote out jess on that tribe because Jimmy has that immunity. Which sucks ass because I'd say Jessy is our best challenge player? Idk!! 

In the other game I have Kait in NuJannu, but I also have Mj, Ruthie and Carson who have all been nice to me...so it's like who could I get the vote to be and how bad will I feel to vote them? I feel like Mj wants Jenn out which is yikes bc I'd rather like..idk Carson maybe? Idk where I stand with Carson bc he's nice but we haven't had deep convos, then again I'd say I haven't with Ruthie either? Ugh!!!

I need to be sure that I'm going to be safe going to tribal tomorrow, at least in one game. But not only that I need to be sure my damage control is fine if I successfully vote someone out seeing as they'll still be alive in another game! Gtg!!

If I get voted out of one game and survive another beat know that some weaves are getting snatched though ;) BEST. BELIEVE.

WAIT, also did I tell y'all how Simon had me the idol clue? Bc he did and I was living for it. Idk if he told all of oldTHOTse but either way I have an idol clue if I do survive this round and get to finally go on the fuckin adventure. I WANNA GO ON AN ADVENTURE TIME LIKE JAKE THE DOG AND FINN THE HUMAN U FEEL ME. 

having a busy day moving into college and stuff, so gotta make a typed confessional! we swapped into the most horrific tribes i've ever witnessed JKKFJL im like fucked on both of them it's horrible. luckily i have the golden record if i end up losing on,.... both of them.... but like... my main priority is winning these challenges holy fuck. i cant afford to lose them......

so in the immunity challenge i took a thing that doesnt allow me to vote at the next tribal and like... IM SO FUCKING STUPID???? WHY DID I DO THAT........ my mind somtimes.... it amazes me.... BUT GOD I SIGNED MY OWN DEATH CERTIFICATE... on tribe A im pretty sure carson and abbey are close as HEckie and i think jack could be roped into that pretty quickly. i like gage the most on this tribe and wanna work with him and i guess it rly depends on jack??? BUT NOW THAT I CAN'T VOTE LIKE... DKFJGKJFJK GOD I GOTTA THROW GAGE UNDER THE BUS HUH? unless i can get jack to flip on carson and abbey.. that would be ideal!

on game B it's like me vs. ricardo and abbey vs. matt.... ill prob vote with matt to get out ricardo or abbey and that makes JIMMY the swing vote.... im working jimmy as much as i can, talking to him as much as possible to get him on my side. i think its working? i mean, shouldn't be hard to get him to trust me over abbey and ricardo LKFJFLJKJF.... and with my no vote thing jimmy would have to go to a tiebreaker either for me or matt,,, and i hope he's willing to do that...

on OTHER tribes..... we got jESSY FUCKED AS HELL WITH THIS SWAP JFCCCCCCC LIKE YALL COULD NOT HAVE FUCKED HER HARDER...... howEVER with long nights on call with jenn............ i think i established a pretty good relationship with her and ive been pushing for a me, jessy, kait, jenn alliance JUST TO MAKE SURE A SWAP LIKE THIS HAPPENED.... LIKE LKFGKJL I KNEW ONE OF US WOULD BE FUCKED WITH KAIT'S ARMY IN MAJORITY AGAINST US SO THATS WHY IM BEING A FAKE ASS BITCH TO THEM OKAY?? IM NOT A PSYCHOPATH. me and jessy are truly so low on their totem poll like,,,,, i can barely see the bottom of their feet. im W A I T I N G for the day.... one of them leaves........

SO JENN TELLS ME that she wants JC out and im like YAAAASSSSS BITCH GET TO WORK!!! and shes like scared of kait and its honestly kinda sad that no one can stand up to kait like what kind of relationship do yall have?? kljfhgkjl anywayyyyy... yeah we need to convince kait to get out JC on .. both tribes preferably. i thought kait would want carson out on game b but apparently kait told mj that "carson is off the table"...???? like what.... ver y confused...... OK...... carson is doing THAT because ik he hates kait lkjFKLJHFJk so yeah. ummmm HOPEFULLY WE CAN CONVINCE KAIT TO GET OUT JC....... IT'LL BE TOUGH BUT LIKE OH FUCKING WELL I DIDNT COME HERE TO BE PUSHED AROUND BY ANYONE???? it will be so ..... fucking good... if we can get them to pick away at their OWN.... when jessy is COMING AFTER THEM.... LKJFKJHFKJHF i'd actually scream... we'll see!

I hate losing. 

I was supposed to have plans tonight but my sister bailed on me, capping off a day and a half of frustration. So, hey, irritated and pissed off confessional time instead!

Since the swap, things have been a bit more lowkey. Which is weird. You'd expect people to be scrambling, but that tells me most people feel relatively comfortable in their positions. Me, I'm in that same boat. Especially on Thotse, where I've got three of my favourite people in the game beside me. And also Jessy, with absolutely no offence meant there.

Hudson's a bit dicier. I like everyone on that tribe, and Wes being with me is honestly a godsend. Steffen is amazing to have too. I think I'd be okay there, but like... I don't want to find out? So after getting a few close calls yesterday afternoon on the comp, I had to leave to a friend's birthday party (which ended in excellent fashion after my ride left without me...) and ended up getting home at a pretty decent time. That opened me up to a few comp attempts in the evening, none of which went well. So I go to bed, I set my alarm early, and I lurk. On, like, five or six hours of sleep? Still partially drunk, anyway. I missed the Robo Unicorn Attack comp but was up with enough time to completely shift the playing field.

And the questions never came.

I knew it wasn't intentional right off the bat. All four hosts are good enough friends that I know that's not the type of ~*twist*~ they'd pull. But I got far too frustrated for my own good. I'd have gone back to bed but I didn't know when the next tasks were coming. So I sat there and got irritated and stayed quiet until others started bringing it up, too, at which point I felt commiseration might beat silent frustration.

It didn't. It just exacerbated the problem. So it made it that much more frustrating when the questions only started back when Owen got back online. Completely unintentional, I'm sure, but it made it much more of an uphill battle. So at that point, that's when I told myself we weren't going back to Tribal Council. I put the visors on, I blocked everything irrelevant out, and I went to town. I ended up trading off that tree puzzle for a few smaller tasks, which was fine. I hadn't beaten Owen in a straight up puzzle yet and I didn't like my odds on this one.

But then there was a question about Jeff Probst's birth "month date, year" that I lost because I didn't have a comma. It felt pretty weak at the time, but with the power of hindsight it makes sense. 

And then the infamous Harry Potter book question. We had to grab one of the original seven Harry Potter books, hold it upside down, and take a picture. And dude, that's the fastest I have ever run up my stairs to grab a book. I came within a few millimeters of spraining my ankle for it. So when the picture went through and I was first, I was so stoked. We had it made in the shade.

Well, not so much. The question got nullified because the wording on it was enough to possibly confuse our ESL players. And like... I understand the reasoning. I was super frustrated at it, though. I do not believe anyone could have beaten me on that one, proper writing or not. The gist was there. I bring this up not to complain, but rather to give you an insight into what was going on in my mind. I understood why it was nullified, but I was PISSED. And rattled. And shaking from the anger and adrenaline.

Anyway, I managed to put that behind me and snatch up a few more points. And then the option came to get 30 points but be forced out of the challenge for the rest of it (~40 minutes.) And I took it, even though I was doing pretty well. I figured that would widen the gap to the point where Bering couldn't come back. And not only was I right, it also contributed in Thotse's participation in the adventure which was rad. But the other members of Hudson came up clutch while I was gone, Wes in particular.

So the adventures... well, I know now that the end of the whirlpool arc I was going down last time has been found. I suspect either Lydia or Logan has it, but I have no way of knowing for sure. I wonder if Lydia would tell me. I'd hope so.

I tried using the plastic coin in the jukebox at the whirlpool and was told the jukebox was empty. Conclusion: something was there but isn't anymore. I suspect Jakey or Jimmy for no reason at all.

The thing Jordan Pines was guarding is gone. Steffen told me he got it and it was the Golden Apple. Conclusion: it was the Golden Apple. I suspect Ruthie because it's never who you most suspect or who you least suspect. It's always who you most medium suspect.

Lydia said there's nothing at the volcano either from what she'd been told. Conclusion: there's probably nothing at the volcano. I suspect Wes, Jack, Abbey and Jenn for no reason at all.

So in summary, nine people definitely maybe probably don't have powers in this game and those powers could definitely maybe possibly be not really all that game-changing at all.

Heh. I'm glad I started writing this. I'm in a better mood already.

i want to die my fucking GOD kjfadshdskdsj i shouldn't have gone to the adventure before i was on the computer but you know what FUCK i'm destined to ont have anything

idk honestly I need to like 

cry

tribal time!!!!

yay

as long as i dont go im happy, but jessy wants to orchestrate jc going in both games which idk if i like but i want jessy safe

At this point I have no idea what we're doing tomorrow.  I really want to stick with Carson but I hate to go against Kait and MJ this early.  JC would be the easiest option for me to vote out right now, but Carson and I could possibly use him to get out MJ or Kait who I think are bigger threats.  I mean, as long as I'm safe I really don't care what we do but I am not writing down Carson's name and that's that.  I guess I'm going to try to find out what Kait and MJ want to do and then see what Carson thinks, then go from there.  

I'm also still playing around with sharing the idol clue with her that Alex left me.  That could definitely solidify our bond and keep her close but I want to be the one that finds that idol first, ack! 

Oh gees, what have I done. Never make decisions at 4 am. At 4:01am I immediately regretted taking that blasted immunity, such a silly thing to do. Already exhausted at that point all I could ask myself was one question posed to me indirectly by singer-songwriter Bret McKenzie - 

Through deep thought I've definitely reached the conclusion that I am in fact a muppet of a man!  

Me as a muppet:

So, I've been pretty busy lately and never made time to record a new video even though a lot has happened.  I'll make a recap of how I have felt about everything up until now. This probably won't be chronological.

I don't have any formal alliances and haven't been to tribal yet but I have a relatively good amount of people expressing interest in working with me, and others that I suspect want to based on how often we talk but it hasn't come up yet. I can't really bank on any of them at face value though so I need to be cautious. (these people include but are not limited to: Pat, MJ, Jessy, Jakey, Ruthie, Kait), which I don't think all will end up working together so that'll be fun to decide on.

So after Simon took Oasis it was clarified that it was a one time use item, which made it even more idiotic to take. His eventual quit makes sense because his gameplay was not gonna fly with this group.  

Alex thinking everyone would take advantages was pretty funny too. 

I also screwed up royally in that stupid step challenge when I tried to think outside of the box to get a higher score. It's a miracle I haven't been to tribal yet between that and the 24 hour live endurance challenge.  I managed to nab a good 30 points for my tribe to solidify our lead at the end so I'm happy with that. 

The adventure seems like it's been gutted of it's rewards, but that's okay, because the best move I ever pulled in Tumblr Survivor didn't need the use of advantages and I'm fine with staying that way.

It seems like people are trying to boot people in both games simultaneously.  I don't know if I'd try the same, because it seems like angry people with only one life left might make good allies if they think you saved them. Something to keep in mind with both Steven and Steffen on Hudson with me.

That's all I have for now, maybe next time I'll have something less hypothetical to talk about. :)

I'm thinking about this vote too much and that probably means one thing- that I'm the one that's going to go. Right now I'm trying to play like I'm kind of a goat with MJ and Kait. I didn't talk to them at all about the vote until this morning but they haven't answered. I wanted them to come to me with who to vote out but it's like pulling teeth to get a name from anyone. 

If I don't hear from them I am pretty sure Carson and I could get JC to vote however we wanted. MJ and Kait, I love them but they are a duo for sure. Also when I was on my last tribe Lydia was asking her things so I know they are tight. Also she's in good with Pat because she told me to talk to him. She has all these connections and I really need to play up that I have no one. 

I............... have thought that my closest ally Carson was a girl this entire time I can't even, I feel SO STUPID RIGHT NOW, FML. I'm currently going through all the intros again so I can double check everyone so I don't continuously keep making this mistake. WHY AM I SO DUMB?

Anyway, I'm glad I just checked that before I posted the video confessional I made.  But anyway, I think I'm sitting in a great spot! I went my alliance chat that Kait and MJ are in, and I asked them what they wanted to do... and MJ answered something in the One World chat without responding to anything in the alliance chat which made me nervous , like where even is his head?  

Anyway, Kait finally answered and we agreed that Carson talks to us more and I also stated that he tries more in the challenges it seems like (like I can say anything, i'm such a FLOP).

Then I talk to Carson, and he is also going to vote for JC, because as long as it's not us that goes we're good.  Theeeeen I talk to JC and it seems like he's going to be voting for Carson, so that keeps my alliance in a good spot, and we'll just see what happens from here! 

I know eventually I'm going to have to split up Kait and MJ, but I feel like it's too early to go against either of them at the moment. 

confessional: every time we touch, i get this feeling. and every time we kiss, i swear i could fly.

A lot has happened since my last wild decision to vote out Steffen. I hurt him, and I really should've told him I wasn't comfortable with Abbey and we could've just taken her out. Now I've diminished him down to a single life. However we've talked it out quite a bit and after the swap and the fact you gave me a nightmare new tribe with Steffen means he kinda feels backed into a corner and that he needs to stick with me. I feel I owe him one too, and if that bites my ass in that he sends me home since he has a double vote well then I'll just have to try better on my B tribe, which is even worse because we absorbed the whole old pink tribe so I'm probably in minority there, as well as with people I hadn't really spoken to in the game. If Steffen actually feels like he'd work with me, then I'm probably gonna end up cutting someone else if things go my way and knowing my luck get swapped onto a tribe with them. Pat said he'd have my back, I have Ruthie from my old tribe, and I've played in a game with Wes as allies, so it will be interesting to say the least. It would be pretty petty if Steffen was to vote against me after the discussions we've had, although the move would be warranted so I wouldn't have any animosity towards him. It felt good talking it out with him, and per Jimmy was the talk of a few people? So um, I don't want a reputation. Hopefully someone else pulls a similar move tonight cuz I ain't wanna deal with a cufuffle of problems. Let's see where it goes. Things are getting more and more interesting. If I gotta be the fake bitch well then I'll smize and wave.

Ok y’all its Steffen, here back from the dead, or more or less I lost a life, my life god damn it, I didn’t have the luck of the irish to say the least

OK SO HERE WE GO

So last round I seemed to find myself in this scenario of going to go to both tribals in game A and game B and now I have to be here crying in a corner as the curse comes to claim my soul, but hey I found this magical golden apple which not only let me escape a tribal, BUT ALSO GET A DOUBLE VOTE, so like hot damn, what kind of luck did I have at that moment, its like the TS gods themselves were like, Hey Steffen, babes, take this thing cause child YOU'RE GONNA NEED IT, and guess what I needed it, but it seems I was told to use it at the wrong place, cause like I used it in game A, where guess what, I "had" a deal with Owen and Lydia, but OWEN DIDN'T WANT TO TEST JAKEYS TRUST, SO IM HERE LIKE, OK FINE IMMA SAVE MYSELF IN GAME A, cause I had just set up a deal with Abbey and Steven and I thought I was FINE, since Steven and I knew each other outside the game, but no, he decided to get his little bum paranoid and organize the vote against me because he didn't feel on top of it, WHEN IN FACT WE WOULD'VE SWAPPED, and then I WOULD'VE STILL BEEN CRUISING BUT NO, NO I HAVE NO LIFE, but now Im on a tribe with Steven again in game A and I have to play super safe for a long ass time, but I'm now going to link up with Steven and Ruthie because what else can I do, but at this point, the only thing I can do to keep Steven in my pocket is use pity and emotional guilt......god Im an awful person, but ya know what, fool me once, shame on you, and Im going to make sure you know it.  So I have to mend fences with Matt and Jessy and just keep going....ALSO I LOVE PAT AND JIMMY, that is all

JC's going huh!

me and ruthie strengthened our bond, she shared the idol clue alex gave her with me which is awesome so now im in a good position. i trust ruthie, but hopefully kait and mj vote jc too. 

also ruthie said jc was voting me?? so i lit just told him im voting him bc i have no reason not to.

okay whew!! I just survived the jannu tc and now.. we've swapped. god

so my bering tribe is with THREE GOD DAMN MALAYSIANS. i was so sure that i was gonna be done once we lost because like it's so smart to keep jc when they're with mj and you could make an alliance with mj/kait/jc/jenn/jimmy to ensure me/jc/carson/ruthie are wiped out but they didn't because my connection to jakey helped me out big time. we created the "duopoly" and it's honestly such a cute alliance name but if i lose on bering again, kait and jenn would vote me off. i'm being fake asf towards them because i'm unsure if i can work with them in the future. 

kait might be threatening, jenn might be threatening, but we're not factoring in owen's threat to my game. i believe he's super close with lydia and jakey just isn't factoring in that either when giving him information. he gave him the logs of his adventure when he met jenn and i think owen gave lydia those logs and lydia found the shiny stone or whatever it is. i'm afraid of them and i hope that their numbers get cut short soon.

anyways i need to send this now b/c tribal is starting so smell ya later

[survivor-all-stars-blog]

EP 2: “That Was a Little Coo-Coo Crazy for Me” - Jack [ PART II ]

First, the positive: Kabru dodged tribal for the second time, and not only that but we put up a very high score that could've easily been competitive for the top spot. That tribe is rolling, and I chatted some with Jakey last night which reassured me about him a lot. No idea why I was so intimidated, he's super chill and friendly.

Now, the bad.

ANDAMAN IS NOT BAD ENOUGH TO BE GOING TO TRIBAL FOR THE SECOND TIME. ANDAMAN IS NOT BAD ENOUGH TO BE GOING TO TRIBAL FOR THE SECOND TIME. ANDAMAN IS NOT BAD ENOUGH TO BE GOING TO TRIBAL FOR THE SECOND TIME. ANDAMAN IS NOT BAD ENOUGH TO BE GOING TO TRIBAL FOR THE SECOND TIME. ANDAMAN IS NOT BAD ENOUGH TO BE GOING TO TRIBAL FOR THE SECOND TIME.

This SUCKS. In the first round, we lost a tiebreaker despite doing everything right. In this round, we lost the tiebreaker TO the tiebreaker. 

Complete and utter shenanigans. 

Tomfoolery. 

Nonsense. 

We could've avoided the whole damn thing if I'd have been less of an idiot and taken my time on step 18. And I acknowledge the ridiculousness of putting any of the blame on myself when I was our highest scoring player and miles ahead of Abbey and Emma. But there it is. I wish I could have saved my brainfart for one more step.

Anyway, it can't be helped now, unless someone knows how to build a time machine. I'm relieved that Jack, Abbey and I made this alliance because, although I wish we didn't have to show our cards so soon, this just makes sense. The vote will be an easy one on our end, but it still sucks and I hate burning Emma like this. She deserves better. Wrong place at the wrong time is an especially shitty way to go out.

Logan and I were talking last night and I think we both agreed: since this twist is fairly limiting, it's pretty reasonable that until someone feels the timing is right to topple the apple cart, we'll probably keep seeing the people going to two tribals being the first casualties. So I really hope there's a swap or a change-up soon, otherwise we're in line for more predictable boots. As a cast of all-stars, I think we'd all like our hands a bit less tied. But all we can do is adapt to the circumstances.

I'm also making an effort today to improve my bonds elsewhere, just in case a swap does happen. Focusing on those I haven't spoken to much since the reveal (Simon, JC, Owen, Ricardo.) I also genuinely do want to get to know Simon a bit better, because despite our past differences he's always struck me as a pretty bright dude. It'd be neat to see what makes him tick. Owen, too, but I know from past experience that we're just not super socially compatible. SUPER kind dude, but our conversations always fizzle out. And JC will be interesting, too, even though I feel like I already know them a bit due to our past game. Where neither of us remember what happened. BUT DAMMIT, JC WAS THERE.

After this vote cycle, I think one of two things happens: 1. there's a swap to proactively stop this pattern of voting. Two tribes of 8, with one person from each game sent to exile and joining the losing tribe post-vote, maybe? That would at least give more options if people are INSISTENT on knocking both versions of a player out at once.

OR

2. We wait until one tribe is reduced to two players, a la Philippines, then 'disperse' them. I say 'them' because I'm using all the positive thinking in the world and hoping it's not Andaman but Makalu, and that it's Logan and Jenn who emerge unscathed from the pile of rubble.

Or, come to think of it, maybe a Palau-esque absorbtion? Man, there's so many moving parts and possibilities. 

It's exhausting being social. But I think I'm managing to be friendly with people in a way that's not seen as annoying. And I think the big difference is that I'm not talking to people just for the sake of talking to them, like I did in Rebels & Rogues. I genuinely enjoy a lot of this cast and I think (hope?) the feeling is mutual. So I'm doing everything I can to shut down the gamebot thoughts that pop up, and it's been paying dividends on the social front.

Now, if we could just win a fucking challenge. 

This challenge was pretty yikes, not gonna lie! When I came up with it for Machu Picchu I was very proud of myself but like...now I realize the pain I inflicted on all of my players and I would like to apologize for that. I decided to just type out each message instead of copy + paste because I thought I would be able to go faster that way, but instead I just got super frazzled and accidentally typed the wrong thing and I flopped with only 8 points. At that point I was in panic mode and I was CONVINCED I was going to get blindsided on Okhotsk and savagely voted out of Jannu so I had to get to work!

I first started talking to Jessy, and we both agreed that as more old-school players who haven't played in a while that playing with a bunch of recent players was very intimidating. We worked together in Adversaries a bit but not too much, but I do trust that she's telling the truth when she says she wants us to have each other's backs, so I felt confident there. Then, I messaged Steven about how I fricked up and he was very quick to tell me that even if we ended up going to tribal, he would work with me to figure out a way to stay. Looks like my social game and strategy of connecting to him day 1 paid off! We didn't end up having to go to tribal, but I feel confident enough in my relationships with Jessy and Steven that if that situation ever comes up I'll be alright.

Both of my tribes came middle of the pack which meant NO TRIBAL, but also no adventure. I'm eager to win a reward at some point because, as far as I know, I'm one of 5 people (myself, Simon, Kait, Jenn and Jimmy) who have a clue to the whereabouts of the idol. Any of them, or Alex for that matter, could have told other people in which case #RIP, but I figured that letting that group know would be beneficial in hopefully keeping the idol close to home instead of out and around for anyone to find. Jimmy said he had no luck, so next round I'm DETERMINED to get out there and find that idol myself.

i still dont have an alliance i literally just talk to people what the fuck someone align with me or im gonna align. if someone doesnt aling with me by next round im gonna make an alliance

So avoiding the first 6 tribals has been fun, really enjoying not having to put myself through any torment whatsoever.

Still feeling like a grungy disease-ridden spud among quality potato gems which is really good for the ego, but hey there's getting less and less of the potato gems.

I'm just gonna continue making mates and fart-arsing around 

I'm not going to tribal again YASSSSS. I'm so glad to not have to go to tribal again where I could end up possibly go home!! However I'm hella worried that my ally Emma might end up getting sent home because in my mind it'd be a smart strategy to vote out someone who's going to tribal in both their A and B games because then there'd be no way for them to get revenge on you if they were going to tribal. However, I'm hoping that she has enough ties to stay in regardless :s

Apart from that I'm also upset that I didn't get to go on the bombass adventure, like Simon gave me the idol clue that he got from the sacrificial lamb which is poppin if it's real. But oh well I'll just hold onto it til I do finally get to go to the adventure bleh!! 

I still haven't gotten any alliances or anything yet but I think I'm in the numbers on THOTse, like if we go to tribal again it'll probably be Simon going home. Idk about Hudson but I think I have a good relationship with Logan at least? Idk hopefully the others like me too, or enough that I'll be safe if we do end up going to tribal.

I guess I could do a mini cast assessment now that I've gotten to know my tribes better? I'm still struggling a bit to get conversations going with EVERYONE but like..come on...over 20 people so I'm trying my best. 

Lets start with Bering: Jenn - Really hit it off with Jenn early on and would definitely like to work with her on this tribe. She seems pretty level headed and kind of reserved which is nice because I'm kind of bad around really vocal people. Carson - Again really nice and I've had a few conversations with him. Not sure about how I could work with him in the long run because he's keeping his cards close to his chest. MJ - He's hard to call. Had one conversation with him and it was a little forced which is meh. He seems a little forceful in his opinions and I'm not sure if that's someone I want to work with. He doesn't seem to like his other tribe though so I'll be nicey nice to him. Ruthie - Honestly really amazing. Our conversation flowed pretty well straight off the bat and she seems like such a lovable person. I really want to work with her purely because she's so nice and I feel she would be loyal down the line. Okay...onto Jannu! Matt - So I was really happy I got put on a tribe with Matt. He's really cool and we got chatting before we even ended up on a tribe together and I like people who take the time to approach me. I think he is a strong gamer and honestly I'd like to have someone like that close to me because they know what's going on. He's also a really nice guy so hopefully something could work out there. Jessy - I LOVE Jessy. She's got so much positive energy and is just a bundle of fun. Everyone must love her..right? RIGHT? I'd really like to work with her too but I think her and Matt have played with each other previously but I'm yet to find out if that ended ugly or not. Ultimately her and him would be my 2 main choices on this tribe. Steffen - We have a lot of mutuals but we've never actually got to play together so it's fun being on a tribe with someone I know well-ish. He is kind of known for being a bit.....loose with words so I've gotta be careful there. I also think he's pretty close with Abbey so there's that... Abbey - Really had to force myself through a conversation with her. I just don't think we're gonna have any longevity together in the game. She's kind of....bland? I don't know maybe I just need to try harder. I'm just not getting the positive energy like I have with the rest on this tribe. I'll need to get to the root of the Jessy/Matt conundrum though b/c it could become a case of her being the swing. Other people: Jimmy - Love Jimmy, he's easy to talk with and definitely an ally going down the road since I don't think he knows many people here. Lydia - Honestly? Still struggle to talk with her. I think if I can get her to give me info that's what I can hope for at best. Definitely don't see us replicating some Port Royal alliance. J.C. - I love them! I wish they were around more often because they have an Irish connection which is lol. I think they'd be someone I'd like to work with in the future. Ric - Ric is a cutie, but he's also messy as fuck. Nearly cost me my game last time we played together in Sicily AND left with 2 idols. Gage - I'd love to work with Gage, definitely need to start shooting him a few messages. We know each other from different series but he's a player and will cut you so I'll be weary. 

Everyone else I've not spoken to since opening night TBH. Jack gave me a cool vibe so idk. Kait gave a shitty one so probably ain't gonna go after that one. Simon...lol. Maybe i'll send him a message fo the lols. And I've still not even added Logan or Pat, whoever they are!

This vote is rough. I feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place and it's exactly why I wanted to avoid going back to tribal in Game B. I want to work with Emma, Jenn, and Owen, buuuut I can't!!! Do that!!!! If we're going to tribal!!!!! Like, I even thought of a way to keep us all in the game, but with Emma being on vacation, communication with her has been limited. And the plan requires a lot of trust between all four of us. Basically it would be that one of the people safe in Game A (Jenn, Owen, and myself) would sacrifice their life in Game B to keep in Emma, who is definitely going home in Game A. But again, with Emma being gone, I don't think she was able to gain enough trust with Jenn and Owen to make them willing to rock the boat for her. I have no problem throwing away my Game B life, mostly because doing this move would shake up what's been kind of a stale game thus far, but even I'm not sure if I trust Owen enough to want to. Between Emma and Owen, I definitely think Emma is the better ally. But I don't trust him to keep things on the down-low, and my plan would kinda backfire if someone outside of us for knew about it. I can't vote Owen out either, since he's safe in Game A and could blow up Jenn and I's games by revealing our alliance to the One World chat. I really wanted Emma to go far, especially after what happened to her in Olympics. I've wanted to play in a game with her for a long time too. This is suuuch a bummer....

Dear Diary, 

It's been a rough one. I won immunity on both tribes, but at what cost? My loving, caring, amazing, perfect, showmance is going to tribal and so is Jenn. Jenn is just okay, but I still care about her safety. Logan apparently was being a weirdo about keeping Emma instead of Owen, which like I get yk! I get it you have your pals and want them to be safe! But Jenn is gonna get what Jenn wants like that's just how it works friendo! 

Anyways Diary, I'm really pissed I didn't get to go on the adventure! Especially, since Jakey got this cool record player thing that flips the immunity results. I can't wait to be fucked over by it! But he can make the losing tribe be safe and the winning one go to tribal, so that's kind of yikeridoodlydoos!!! Anywhooooo! I gave him the idol clue for shits and giggles tbh. Probably a bad idea in the long run but honestly I hardly even want the idol! So WHATESJDK  whatever idk who cares im just here to have a good time hehehehee 

Also Emma is leaving apparently. I know what's going on in the game unlike Ricardo who messaged me once today asking me if i was going to tribal and I said no and he goes oh okay and doesn't message me again. Okay hunty!

Okay Diary thank you, love always, 

Lil Kait

so at the start of this round, alex gave owen his immunity idol clue, and owen gave his clue to jake. jake gave the clue to me and we had a whole plan to get to the idol system first and find the idol or whatever it is and i thought i had a good chance because the immunity challenge was something i'm really good at but my tribe wasn't really good at it, so i didn't get to find it :(

i think i did really good in the challenge though to the point my tribes might see that i'm useful but i think i'm not in the clear just yet. matt and steven are definitely working together and matt implied that to me that he's talked to him the second most and honestly? i don't trust matt for shit. he tried to butter me up and say that i'm the "only one he talks to" as if! 

in the tribe chat he said his score was 8 and then he said it was 7 and nearly made me go to tribal council and i think it was a mistake but i think my tribe thinks he's a shady heck and that's cool whatever idc! 

i have zero alliances and i really want that to change, but i literally don't know how to work with these people. i really don't think they like me that much, so i'm really praying for a swap. 

jake found the record thing at the adventure thanks to owen's help and i know he's more loyal to me than owen. thanks owen for handing him the golden record though. it's not exactly an idol because you only have one hour to use it and that's scary as shit.

emma's leaving tonight on both tribes and i'm honestly heartbroken :( she's literally a queen and now i'm running out of people i was going to work with. i had a dream i was going to be in an alliance with her and jake but i guess it just won't work out.

i'm disappointed i couldn't find the golden record for myself. i have to try really hard in these challenges or i'm going to be voted off. i think jc might be the hudson tribe boot if we ever go to tribal council, but with this dual tribe twist, i think if both my tribes lose, people will just vote me off in order to have the game move faster. i really hope that doesn't happen, and i'll just HAVE to try much harder socializing to ensure it doesn't.

literally pray for me