#im fxne

[justalittleauthor]

okay so, here go again? gonna actuall try? comic scare me? this story means a lot to me? I'm Fxne?

I got a new art program and i like it a lot better than my previous one

[decadentbeatmistress]

#X'm not xn a band. X'm fxne. are you as stxr crazy as you sound.

{ ohghhhhh riht ur solo | so like im stupid how does that work like does the venue give u a backing band or do u just do like a backing track |

{ also YE im so sir crazyyyyy | this is so dumb but ive never like. | had a stemhive b4 ?? | i had a hive growing up and then i was hiveless and then it was the livable four wheel device with my band and then it was the ugly princess hive and now i actualy have a stemhive thats just mine and its kinda cool but i also realy miss the van ad hotels an stuff ||

xnsomnxa.

[seraphimic]

tagged by @clavicus (thank u !!)

Rules: Tag 10 followers you’d like to get to know better

Name: Nikolai

Nicknames: niko, kolya, yaya

Gender: bigender

Star sign: pisces (go die)

Height: 5′6-5′7 idk

Sexuality: bisexual

Hogwarts house: ravenclaw

Average hours of sleep: 4-14 no inbetween

Dog or cat person: dogs make me happy and cats make me happy and as long as im happy i love both

Blankets you sleep with: 2

Dream trip: RUNNING AWAY TO LIVE WITH LUMIE AND CAI aka “TheNeverendingVacation:”

When I made my blog: idk!! i deleted the first 2 or 3 years worth of posts, so.. i think this blog is from like 2012 or 2013 but i had different blogs before that

Followers: 5265 but every time i post the number i lose like 10 followers so who knows how long this will last

Why I made my blog: basically i started it because i didnt want to be a black and white depression blog anymore

Reasons for my url: i am a vocaloid (v) named flower (f) and v4 flower is My Aesthetic

idk who to tag so! im gonna tag my buddies and hope i have 10- @gorecember @lumie @supportgay @thatmusictheaterguy @seems-fxne @biomusiicology 

ok so thats not 10 but who cares (tysm for taggin me!)

[justalittleauthor]

Raphie taking a nap. This is the first animation i've ever done and I am so proud of it!

[justalittleauthor]

all of these people interacting with tiny tello or tiny leo got me thiniing... what would ImFxne raph do with a baby? he would carry them around like the dog turtle man he is, and make a nest. @somerandomdudelmao is the main person i've seen post tiny tello and tiny leo stuff that's been interacted with.

[justalittleauthor]

I'm Fxne

page 1 of I'mFxne

tw: Blood, trauma, death, isolation.

I'm fine is a post trauma healing series that talks about traumatic deaths and grieving of loved ones.

Sorry this uploaded in the shittiest quality i've ever seen.

text Raph : Why can't I see?

Raph: Leo! Why are you hurt! Get away from that monster!

Leo: Come on buddy, I know you're in there, I'm sorry.

Raph: No! Not Mikey! Move! Please!

Mikey: It's okay Raph, We're here for you! We love you!

Raph: No no no no no!!! Leave them alone! TAKE ME INSTEAD!

Donnie: We'll figure this out raph. Just hold on for us.

[justalittleauthor]

Hey Raph, I know rats taste good, but I think it would be better if you ate something that doesn't resemble you dad...want a sandwich?

Part 1 -> Part 2

[justalittleauthor]

ah, is Leo being here why you are sticking around this building specifically?

[justalittleauthor]

This is so sad and full of angst

I LOVE IT

There are two sides to every coin

[justalittleauthor]

I give Raph a warm blanket and a VERY well loved plush fox, please and thank you (/nf)

[justalittleauthor]

It's been years since the Krang had taken their hold on Earth, and the populationwas starting to dwindle in numbers. In one broken down building in the center of New York the last spark of hope was fading.

@baskeigh-ball I would like to let you know that now you've created an ask blog. This is your fault. I blame you ;-;

[justalittleauthor]

Why is it called im fine when they obvious aren't?

HI! I have been WAITING for this! So the offical title of the au is not I'm fine, but I'm FXNE. The whole point around the title is actually something a lot of people with trauma do, which is say that they're fine when they very much aren't. Wether that be them breaking at the seams or holding it together under a fake smile.

I'm FXNE is supposed to be a lie, and the reason why it's spelled that way is because they aren't fine, nor will they be for a while. The X instead of the I is supposed to kindof represnet crossing out fine. Because later, even if they all end up together and even slightly happy, they won't be fine.

Raph will always carry the blood of his brother's that drips down his finger tips, and the haunting voices that torment him in the back of his head. He still has scars even if the wounds have healed.

Donnie will always be missing his leg, even if the pain has subsided, and he is no longer bleeding, he can never get that part of himself back.

Leo

Mikey

They aren't fine, and that's okay. And even if they need to lie, that's okay too. Healing is a process that never truly ends. So....

I'm FXNE