#im fine btw!! like for anyone reading the tags but not the posts im fine just rambling abt psychiatry beef

[wolfisland]

cont

its just absurd genuinely it blows my mind how much better my mental health has gotten now that ive let myself kind of. address it? i spent years deflecting and while i learned lots of strategies for not Lashing Out On My Loved Ones, my self perception was still so fucked. its very very very frustrating that ive had professionals be like "well youre not that self destructive and youre very self aware so we dont think its that-" like yeah bc i was in therapy for 10 years for ANOTHER PERSONALITY DISORDER. therapy that specifically emphasized self awareness frankly to a degree that it worsened my ocd!!! im 24 i dont lash out like a child or cut myself every time im in a bad mood anymore.

i do feel completely worthless on a regular basis for not achieving more and set impossible standards for myself and compare myself to literally everyone to make myself feel better OR pile on myself out of self pity! i am deeply arrogant and i can be extremely entitled and am absolutely downright malicious and explosive when questioned or condescended to. im avoidant of situations that i think i wouldn't straight up excel in above others let alone FAIL. delusions of grandeur superiority complex power fantasies hyper critical etc etc etc.

like idk how to fucking tell ppl that its literally just misogyny that i was diagnosed w hpd over npd. i do not have fucking hpd. i am CONFIDENT i do not have hpd and was misdiagnosed to a degree that ive directly challenged my therapist over this multiple times bc miss one hour a week with me vs my 24/7 stuck in my own head was convinced somehow bc she didnt see my breakdowns or hear my internal monologue that actually no im too sensitive to be a narcissist. ma'am im the most self absorbed person i fucking know, its years of therapy thats made me as sensitive to other peoples needs and feelings as i am. not some innate god given sense of empathy from Girl Disorders.

like i learned to manage my shit bc of 2 decades of medical neglect bro, ive spent years documenting my own mental and physical health so i had proof for assessments. i sat on this for years til i felt certain the same way i documented my bipolar episodes for a year to prove i knew what the fuck i was talking about. because i did and do know! wild. its almost like i know myself.

personality disorder ruminations

its legitimately fucking nuts to me how much more sense my life and brain made once i realised i had npd. spent the better part of 10 years being treated solely for bpd and yeah sure it helped me limit how i acted out but it never actually addressed most of those underlying deep rooted issues. once i kinda got over myself and finally admitted i was pretty dead fucking sure i had The Abuser Disorder i actually became way less of a cunt. wild. probably because i was actually able to start dealing with my shit instead of using bandaid fixes for a disorder that i didnt have (hpd, which was the comorbid dx i got with bpd. im def bpd, but hpd? no.)

[voidzphere]

☆ MASTERPOST // INTRO !!!

[ ALL THE BLOGZ I RUN: @killzbitezz (sideblog) @killersanz (killer sans askblog) @dailykillerr (daily killer sans that i have not posted on yet erm) ]

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

╭───────────── * ˚ ✦

hii !! im killer, but my friendz + mootz call me killz !! welcome to my blog ^_^ i love u too brutiee @mewobrute <33 (more stuff under the cut!!)

╰───────────── ✧.* ⋆

✩ ABOUT ME !!! >_<

FIRST OFF, HERE ARE SOME OF MY FLAGZ !!! :3 ↓↓↓

my main prnz are he/it/bite, but i alzo use vamp/fang/bone/skull/blood/gore/knife ! (plz dont refer 2 me w they/them)

my special interest is undertale + utmv ! (if that waznt obv enough..)

i love love LOVE horror gamez .. some of my favz rn are kinitopet, imscared, house, ddlc, rental, and bonnie's bakery :]

I HAVE A PERSONA ! u can find itz ref sheet here :] i uzually draw myself as either him or juzt killer sans !!

I LOOOVE MY MOOTZ, FRIENDZ, AND PARTNER <333

some of my current hyperfixationz are fionna & cake, smg4, regretevator, atsv, invader zim, adventure time & dialtown !

i have a guestbook !! leave a little note for me to read if u want :3

some of my fav bandz/artistz are talking heads, misfits, bad brains, rio romeo, lemon demon, will wood, pixies, melanie martinez, alex g, 6arelyhuman, goreshit, sex pistols, potsu, the living tombstone, etc. !

some of my fav songz are alien blues, vampire culture, laplace's angel, dr sunshine is dead, seriously?, genius of love, at the movies, charlie's inferno, etc. !

✩ my tagz !

#killz art - my art !! :3

#killz rb - reblogz

#killz yapz - my yap sessionz

#killz answerz - answerz to my askz

#vent kinda - my (kinda) ventz

#tag/ask game - self-explanatory

#killersanz - stuff related to my killer sans ask blog !

#killz fingie doodlez - stuff i drew w my finger :3

#killz srb - self reblogz

#killz sans - my sonaaa ^_^

✩ dni

basic dni criteria

istz + phobez

epiciller, /r + /sx errorink, etc.

pro/dark/comship (or whatever you call your weirdo selvez..)

irl doublez (unless i knew u beforehand!!) (im irlz of killer, reaper, & epic.)

minorz who post nsfw cuz ion wanna see that shit man go do ur homework

slander of my interestz/special interestz + hyperfixationz like stfu

mockery of me and/or my traitz (i.e my typing quirkz)

unwanted criticism, especially if i didnt ask for it. stfu part 2

anyone i've had drama with + my exez (fuck you)

HOMESTUCK. and hazbin hotel + helluva boss (tbh i dont rlly care if you like these mediaz and interact with me, just dont talk abt it in front of me yknow)

✩ byi + boundariez

i have autism + adhd, BPD, & typing quirkz !! tone indicatorz are optional when talking to me, but i appreciate them.

i'm an irl + fictkin ! i have a few c-linkz as well.

im not a roleplay account btw /srs

my art requestz are alwayz open ! can't promise i'll alwayz do them, but they help me out with inspiration though :3

DO NOT REPOST MY ART. i will find you

if you use my art, credit me. you dont alwayz gotta ask me before usin my art, but i appreciate it if you do !!

my askbox + dmz are alwayz open !! i love meetin new people n gettin to know em :] im fine w tagz, commentz, & spam-likez/reblogz too !

i might accidentally spam-like (i get too excited).

just because i make suggestive jokez and im hypersexual doez not mean i'm not sex-replused from time to time.

im a DID system and use i/me pronounz. i don't talk about my DID often becauze i see it as unimportant to other ppl.

i'm nonhuman !! plz do not refer to me as human. i prefer skeleton termz over everything else. im ur favorite homozexual cryptid-skeleton :3

i tend to ramble, say thingz that are out-of-pocket, have trouble with volume control/typing in all capz, make inappropriate jokez, flirt with & tease my close friendz, etc. if u ever find any of this bothering, plz inform me and i will stop.

i love drama + gossip, i will argue with strangerz on the internet just to spite them bc i find it funny ^_^ (only if theyre in the wrong and deserve it.)

i have strong opinionz and will shit-talk you if you're a weirdo who deservez it.

my blog, my rulez <3

★ last updated: 10/5/24

[postive-rainworld-anarchy-conf]

i’ve been waiting for people to realize azriel was a terrible person since last december. he reblogged a callout post (full of false accusations about zoophillia and stuff, as per usual) and then just DUMPED this huge rant about how incest fanfiction made him think it was okay to kiss his brother when he was 14.

no i’m not joking. obviously i can’t put a link here but: tumblr dot com / azrielfiend / 737002511661187072/tws-for-a-much-of-stuff-im-reblogging-again-but

just remove the dots and spaces and it’ll take you to the post, but in case you don’t want to, a DIRECT QUOTE from it is: “proshipping influenced me SO much that i almost (romantically and unconsensually) kissed my brother on the lips before my dad stopped me. speaking of my dad, i had intrusive thoughts about him and having crushes on him too.”

it just goes to show that this guy is fr not okay. even at 14, all the incest fanfiction in the WORLD could make me EVER make me think that incest is okay?? you couldn’t waterboard that info out of me either idk why he just randomly decided to dump that shit on some post like that (probably for pity points and to get attention…)

looking at it, and btw for anyone that doesn't know, you HAVE TO make your stuff screenreader accessible, not just because someone else might need it, but because if you ever need it for whatever reason, even for a bit (like after an eye surgery) it sucks to not be able to read what you've written.

especially when in tags, it makes it worse since people who wish to avoid those things can't when you do stuff like put zeros instead of an O, or a 4 instead of an r.

this is just a massive pet peeve of mine, but I read stuff like this and wonder why they are even censoring it like that?

read it and uh.

no yeah, no. ok no what I see what you mean, holy fuck. I mean way to sacrifice yourself to make a point there but damn.

"that sentence is also ableist because it assumes everyone can just tell it apart easily and youre dumb for not being able to."

uh, eh, ah. ok, I mean like. ok???? in that case, don't read it??? what

"i cant rest easy knowing proshippers would influenced kids like how they influeneced me in the past. its haunting, if you say this isnt harmful. then youre surely mistaken. im done. do not argue me on this im just so upset people are defending moonstone."

I think this just you, honestly???

I'm sorry but what the fuck did I just read

huh. that sure was a take & the half

I don't think this was developed because you were in the proshipping community, I just think you had incestuous thoughts about your brother and father? and then tried rationalizing why you did that as being convinced to do so because of proshipping. (even though most proshippers, not all, but most will tell you to not fuck your family, and instead read stuff about it instead or something) instead of realizing that maybe you just wanted to kiss your brother and were looking for an excuse.

this is all on you probably?

like you don't just get thoughts like that from outside sources. that comes from you.

but also at the same time, I don't know the situation, so who knows.

like it's fine to have incestuous thoughts and all, alot of people do. but the problem is acting on them... especially when it's non-consensual...

you have to work through them, not work for them.

well that was interesting

[synthshenanigans]

I'm curious as to peoples idea for what he'd do for the next power hour so

[These all being popular ideas or ppl he's mentioned]

This was all just a ploy to get you to read my info dump theory on the concept of a Chonny Jash Power Hour loser HAHAHA

Im joking tho. Not about my CJPH theory, that is very much real but I'm not forcing you to read it lol

However if you're curious, my inane rambles are further down :}

[Long Rant Post Below]

Okay so I'm gonna start with the basic idea I got it from; that being Nerd. Nerd already foreshadowed the THDPH & the WWPH [Even down to the last song for each of them] Not only that, but he references the stuff hes done in the past as well with a break/pause inbetween.

[This is what I mean]

The first three being all stuff he already did. BDG with Pocket, Tally Hall with Vol.1 & then Cage by Tim Minchin being the start the power hours.

The next two being the power hours he would do after this song [Memento Mori & Charlie's Inferno-Will Wood & That Handsome Devil]. But those are the only songs he would reference in Nerd, leaving no more clues as to what the last one would be. The only thing left in it is the video game references & Stairway to Heaven in the ending. [Which oddly enough also fit the pattern in a way. StH being about dying and the afterlife like Memento Mori & Chonny's Inferno and the video game references being all covers he made on his old channel]

While the VG refs could be a hint at a Videogame or Toby Fox Power Hour, I think at most, if its a clue at all, hinting at the next thing he does is recovering old songs.

----

Next, a couple of his songs reference his past stuff. Fine, I'm Fine has a good amount of lines that vaguely refer back to songs from the before [heres a post that goes more into it that's pretty cool!!]. And more importantly Dear Machine references Pocket, Dream (Outro from Calamity) & wings of wax. Pocket being later used in Nerd & the mention of Icarus coming back in Art. Not only that, but the voice in the very end Thermodynamic Lawyer is the exact same [if not very close to] voice filter/effect he uses in Dear Machine. Even down to the British accent he does in it. [Tho it is fairly normal for a music artist to reference their older songs in their music so it could be nothing]

Speaking of Dear Machine tho, quick thing to add about it is that it shows he not against covering his own songs. While yea technically its just a different version of Ode of the Cog, DM,HtC in a way counts as a cover of OotC. Same goes for bargaining/compromise & The Ballad of Dr. Jekyll.

----

Another idea with a CJPH is that in the CJFS discord theres a "Question of the Day" Channel. Where, as the name says, a Mod or Helper will ask a CJ related question & everyone can give their idea/imput on it. For Day 100, as a special fun lil thing, they asked Chonny if he wanted to give a question for that day. His question being:

And yes he does say that he doesnt plan on doing anything like that in future [if he even were to do it]. I fully believe he wasn't lying there & honestly I never saw him redoing any song ever until I had the idea of a CJPH [aside from stuff like Spring and a Storm & Storm and a Spring obviously]. But this is the best idea I could ever see him doing that. Also that question was from early August so a fair amount of time has passed. Whether thats enough time to equal "at least in the near future at all" I have no clue, but it is a thought.

----

One of my last points [that I remember atm lol] is on how he would end the power hours. Cos like, while yea he does whatever he wants & doesn't rlly follow what anyone says or asks [which I 100% agree with & is completely valid btw], I'd imagine he'd still want to end the PHs with a bang. Which is why I originally didnt think the recent one would be Will Wood.

He's stated a couple of time that hes one of his favorite artist & he definitely knows that a huge chunk of his fan base listen to WW as well. So why not end with that? Why not end with one of the most requested artist people wanted him to cover? Why wouldn't he end with a power hour of the artist that was his #1 on his Spotify Wrapped? What else could he do after that? Well maybe he'd go with his #2 artist? WHICH IS JUST HIMSELF BBYYYY

Plus, the name Power Hour already comes from this:

So it's very likely he's had himself play multiple times in a row & had a "Chonny Jash Power Hour".

Of course theories are just theories so there's always the chance I'm wrong & just insane. And again he does whatever he wants whenever he wants so who knows what it'll be. I just think id be an interesting idea for him to do.

As for how a Chonny Jash Power Hour would look? Maybe each song being a cover of a song from a past album or single? I'd imagine one from the before. & Covered in Discontent [maybe Gothic Whore?]. Like remake Pocket since its been referenced so much, tho that's still just a BDG cover so who knows. the before. would be interesting just to see how his perspective has changed since he originally wrote those songs. Gothic Whore he already has 2 songs that have a story version & a him version so I can see him doing another.

I HIGHLY doubt he'd do anything related to Vol.1 as its his completely separate thing & he doesn't rlly wanna touch any song that's TH/HMS related until whenever he feels like starting Vol.2 [which is valid lol]. If anything I could maybe see like TWWAY, Special or maybe Greener? Or go a different route with the og I'm Gonna Win or like a more outta the box one with like Just a Friend [only cos be did a 20 second "cover" of it in Mucka Blucka]. Again, I do not see him touching anything Vol.1 related but still something to entertain ig? [4th TME cover; The Chonny Electric when/j]

Tho maybe he'd just remake songs that he he fully made [like the before. or Gothic Whore], since those are more of actual Chonny Jash songs rather than the others just being covers. Would be very cool to maybe see a remake of some of his Majora's Mask song tho [no this isn't me coping over HEAL not being on spotify shush]. Or maybe he'd do songs from his old stuff like Don't Take it Personally? [also not me coping over wanting that song on Spotify too]

Idk these are just my thoughts on the idea of a CJPH [or even a Can of Soup Power Hour/j]. Either way I am gonna say idc what he'd do, BDG or Streetlight Manifesto are my other guesses, but anything he makes is always rll good & fun so I'll be interested to see whatever it is.

But ya know considering I typed all this out in the span of an hour & a half I kinda hope im not wrong PFFT

[miseryoforpheus]

intro post <3

Hey there!

Im Jamie and my pronouns are They/She/he

Im a neurospicy minor (but I will swear and also am fine being moots with/talking to adults as long as no one is a creep to me it’s all good)

Uhhh welcome to my online diary :|

Happy to make friends if u want - feel free to DM me

online diary blog w lots of Neil Gaiman reblogs bc he’s my idol

Fun facts about me:

Umm ok (trying to think of fun facts now)

Im Italian but grew up in England, would love some more Italian moots <3

my favourite authors are Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett (but it’s been like that since before I read good omens lmao) also Rick Riordan and Alice Oseman

certified gravity falls child

if u couldn’t tell by the URL I’m obsessed with Greek and Roman mythology

nostalgic for a time I wasn’t even alive - late 80s and early 90s mainly but also like 70s

nostalgic for a time I WAS alive (barely but it still counts bc I do remember it) - the late 2000s

I did a quiz to see what Beatles band member I’d be and got Paul Mcartney

damn u rlly don’t realise how boring u r till u try and do an about me huh

Music I like:

Hozier, Olivia Rodrigo, Conan Gray, Harry Styles, YUNGBLUD, Beatles, Elton John, Queen, Renée Rapp, TV girl, bears in trees, Ricky Montgomery, NOAHFINNCE, MARINA, Fleetwood Mac

getting into:

Nirvana [used to love them a few years ago but then a mean girl made fun of me for it so I stopped listening to them but I’m starting again]

Dominic Fike Paramore

mother mother

MCR

the neighbourhood

The tags I will use:

Jamie answers asks - u guessed it this is for answering any asks

the most boring soap opera - my life stuff because my life is the most boring soap opera

MOTD - mood of the day which is just a lil thing I do

for the record:

I stand with Palestine 🇵🇸

please click here every day:

also free Ukraine 🇺🇦

aro and ace people are LGBTQ+ and this is an aro and ace and aroace safe blog

in general this is a COMPLETELY safe space

if u want anyone to talk to btw I’m always here to chat, can’t guarantee i’ll be able to help but I am always willing to listen literally any time we don’t even have to be moots or anything just DM me ok? Ily all take care of yourselves ok loves? <3

Also one last thing just for ppl that know me, I have no problem with u following this blog or anything but be warned that I’m not gonna filter my opinion at all on here bc I need a place to be myself and if u don’t want to see that i understand and idm just pls don’t take it as a personal attack or anything if u ever think something I post relates to you, I promise it’s not I just need to vent <3

My MOTD ratings:

0-2 > feeling really really really shitty

3-4 > shitty like I have too much sadness and anger and everything inside me and it feels horrible and yeah yk [reckless behaviour is strong here for me + pretty strong intrusive thoughts]

5 > normal. Numb. Yucky. Normal level of intrusive thoughts [for me at least, everyone is different]

6-7 > smol happy, probably was a bad day that got better

7-8 > :D

9-10 > fucking ecstatic

[i-am-an-arson-enthusiast]

Here at i-am-an-arson-enthusiast, we i am dedicated to bringing you top quality content such as but not limited to: gay things, random thoughts, and even live arson that you don't even have to tune into!!

hi this is my intro post :D

Hiiii!!

here, have some basic info about me :3

name: anything goes pretty much but please use multiple names :] HOWEVER not neptune as that is reserved for @marcysbear :3c

OBLIGITORY QUEER SECTION!! i say that like i dont actively want this here. anyway! the labels i use are queer, bi, lesbian, gay, genderfluid, trans, gnc, non binary, genderqueer and arospec. arospec as in i am largely aromantic and use that as an umbrella term, however i am capable romantic attraction/ am flexible with such labels bc its all bullshit anyway.

i have audhd! i get hyperfixation and sometimes talk abt that if i so wish and my special interests are space and generally queer shit. also pls use tone tags i will think u hate me im too anxious for my own good sometimes

i am dogshit at spelling so. ignore the typos and misspellings!!

if u send me chain asks dont expect me to keep the chain going, ill answer it and say thanks but i wont actually do the thing

BOUNDIES!! GENUINE, ACTUAL BOUNDRIES!

-pls don’t send dono asks i don’t got money bc im a minor

-dont think if i have a take like "i dont like taylor swift" i am personally attacking you. you can like whatever the fuck u want idc everyone is entitled to their own opinoins. i just dont like her as a person

-DONT call me the reserved names if you arent that one person

-try to refrain from calling ppl (including me) baby/babe/bae around me it makes me want to die sometimes and i dont want to constantly be a romance repulsed little shit around u guys (this means dont use those names for anyone if i am in the conversation i cant control past that) (it also isnt a problem here i dont think ive ever seen it here its really just discord tbh)

-dont ask for my discord unless were friends or close in some way and dont get offended if i say no

-u can call me a faggot or dyke or tranny as long as you are the slur you are using

-if you have my discord and were moots you can call me a slut and a whore all u want idm :3 (bc i am a slut and a whore.) (really really sorry if you didnt want to read that btw /gen)

OH TAGS UH

i try to consistanly use them but sometimes i dont. sorry.

woah i’m using queue - i’m actually queuing a post for once instead of spam reblogging (which i mostly do sorry not sorry)

woah a real text post - me positing an actual text post for once but it’s becoming more common

cool ass art - art that i reblog (it’s all cool)

arson does half way decent art sometimes - my art. art i made. yea

moots feel free to ask for tags <3

i will keep adding more as i remember them and make them so yea :D also i try to tag for things but i often dont add tw or cw because. idk. just havent ever done that. if you need me too you can tell me in any form and ill try my gaddamn hardest to add them. feel free to *kindly* remind me if i forgot. (as in no verbal abuse ya know. if ur scared ur probably fine)

~~~~

i think. thats it. if u follow me and u didnt like this post dw im gonna screen u anyway <3

thank you for reading all of that i know it’s long. your cool so here’s a cookie 🍪 also here have this

~~~~~ blinky time ~~~~~

credit to @jeweledviolets @v-4-l-0-n and @theprideful :)

[erensfeed]

⤷ general rules

— ૮ ◞ ﻌ ◟ ა aww shi yappin strict nunu incoming LMAOO

aa okay okay *claps* alrighty. let’s do this.

so !

do not interact at all if you are racist, xenophobic, hatefully anti-God, ableist & homophobic or hate a group of innocent people.

do not interact nor try to be my friend if you are genuinely full of pure hatred for humans or are depressing (like, pessimistic af) and don’t want to help help yourself.

do not interact if you can’t take jokes. especially when i jokingly call characters like mahito from jjk hot. even though he deadass is fine asf LOLZ

now, as much as i loove getting spam liked and understand the motive behind spam liking, i heard it actually shadow-bans blogs on tumblr. and we wouldn’t want that now, would we. but ! an alternative i’d appreciate a lot more, is mass reblogging while you’re spam liking !! yayyy so much kinder riighht c;

in other words: i don’t wanna sound like a party pooper but really, don’t spam like ;c i’d have to count 4 or more constant liking without any reblogs / comments, as spam like. and that would result in me hiding my stuff from you in a not so nice way with the not so nice sounding (block) button.

speaking of that, if you don’t like me or any of what i post, feel free to poke that block button. and if you want to end a mutual bond, rather than keeping me as a follower still, you can also block me (typing this with tears in my eyes btw)

but that aside.

yes, anyone under 18, that’s a teenager, can follow me and be my friend bc i’m mostly sfw.

but just don’t interact: with anything nsfw on my blog. and i better not catch you commenting on nor reading them either. this includes mild nsfw stuff. you may interact with all sfw work. and don’t worry because there’ll be tags letting you know beforehand to differentiate. if you disobey me, that not so nice button would be used on you. if you accidentally liked a post or forgot to unlike, i’d give you two chances before anything. and also, please make sure to have your age on your blog too. otherwise, blocked.

me saying allat knowing very well i js turned 18 LMAOOO.

but hey really no interacting w any bad grown up stuff. or else.. bad things. >:c

got it? great.

⤷ inbox rules:

— i literally love every one of you so don’t be shy to talk to meee. literally about anything. and don’t be shy to ask me questions or put your pretty little thoughts out there. this is a safe space for every and anyone !! so there’s barely any rules from me here. but do be aware that:

even though you can also vent to me, i would prefer u to message me privately instead, to protect your business okay?

and of couurrsee you can still talk and ask me about anything. EXCEPT anything related to politics because oo girl. i’m so sorry yall but let’s leave the political views outside this club okay.

you should not attack writers in my inbox because that’s really awful and mean and i would never encourage it :c … UNLESS they’re one of those writers. like yk. like ONE OF THOSE. you’d know what i mean if you know. *clears throat* copycats + multi pro - shippers despite age / sexuality differences between characters. i wouldn’t respond publicly though, id just laugh with you (in text as a moot or in my head if you’re anon) and move on.

you’re totally free to attack or hate any of the characters i like and i will literally accept and understand your reason, all while slightly defending them at the same time too in a nice way bc now cmon now.

you’re even more free to be a char-anon as well bc omggg i love thoseee. they’re so cute and funny. so pls hmu if u can be eren, megumi, inumaki, geto, rafayel, xavier & caleb especially !!

if you’re 18-20+, you can literally flirt all you want in my inbox. anonymously or not. and it wouldn’t ever make me uncomfortable because right back at ya hello. (yes im straight but listen i could flirt too ladies and non ladies / gents. listen im here for yall and i love people ….)

now if you’re < 18, i don’t wanna see no flirting from you. NADA. you hear me ?!

but, if you’re 16+ (mostly a writer for shared fandoms), feel free to ask to be mutuals !! bruh i’ll literally follow you faster than the speed of light.

finally, to add on to the second bullet point, if you asked me a question i was ever uncomfortable (that’ll rarely happen really), i wouldn’t put you on the spot. the only thing is i probably wouldn’t respond to it for private reasons if it was tooo personal (ie. location, body count, school and all those private stuff like ykyk. you’d know. wouldn’t mind questions ab dating life tho ofc.) especially if we weren’t buddi buddies / close mutuals and you’re asking anonymously.

🫧 request rules:

— my request box are ALWAYS opened so don’t be scared to ask away lawwd. but before you do, please read what i would write / not write in the next section below okay? knew you’d understand. thank you my sweet ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ

that being said, don’t be scared to also put your mind out and your sweet & spicy requests regardless. but just keep in mind that:

i don’t write nsfw fics about any character that’s not canonically aged up. i write fluff for them though bc some of us grew up with the characters being older than us.

that’s it. LMAO.

that’s really the only rule. (mentioned it in the section below too)

wouldn’t block + dislike you if you like | asked me for it tho

i just don’t do that since i don’t believe in ageing them up if we’re not the original (manga) creator.

to add, im kinda slow i think. LMAOOO. so when asking, please please plssss make sure to be detailed and make sure you sound like you are asking me to write something you want, in order to avoid simple one sentence or two response. otherwise i wouldn’t be able to catch if you actually are and actually do that.

also, since im a college student, i may not get to your requests or asks the fastest, but i would do it in the same week/month.

and i would try hard to deliver it to you the exact & absolute best way i could based on how you asked.

♡ you would find me writing / reblogging:

— general themes

• fluff • explicit smut • heavy tears inducing angst • reminders / moments people forgot about

— realistic (dark) themes:

• violence • *cheating • tw: *abuse (emotional, mental, physical probably excluding sexual) • tw: blood • intoxication & drug use • tw: cnc / dub-con • tw: stalking • tw: corruption • tw: dacryphilia • breeding kink • age gap • tw: * suicidal thoughts (of a character) *

♡ you would NOT find me writing / reblogging:

— heavy tw:

• tw: incest. stepcest. • tw: *rape • pet play • anything anal related • zoophilia + some other kinks i hadn’t mentioned in what i’d write. (depending what kinks you want me to write, i may excuse them for you if the idea would make sense for the plot.) • nsfw aged up minor characters especially for or written by people older than them when the show first aired. but i will repost anything sfw of theirs (especially of characters who were older than me when i watched/when their show first aired but are still depicted as younger)

* = i or the post will most likely just brush over the topic. so possibly less details on it.

now read with caution: please be mindful that that even though my fics are 16+ and i am / will be careful with everything i reblog and write about, i still may interact or write posts with contents that could be triggering to you. so please keep that in mind because i am not responsible for what may be triggering to you on this blog.

lastly, please remember to separate fiction from reality.

©2024 ERENSFEED. All rights reserved.

[up-in-space-reading]

Average Weekly Screentime - Chap 2: Motorbikes and Movie Nights

pairing: Jake Peralta x Amy Santiago

word count: 1908

warnings/tags: college au, texting, drunk texting, text fic (mostly, there's prose a few chaps in), bets, bisexual!jake peralta, jake peralta has adhd, parties, drinking and alcohol, sexual references, implied sexual content (nothing explicit, just suggested its going to happen/has happened), friends to lovers, swearing, mentions of cannibalism, lighthearted threats of violence (typical rosa stuff yk), fluff

read on ao3

Average Weekly Screentime masterlist

Story Summary: texting fic college AU with the squad! It's the beginning of the school year and while everyone else thinks it'll be the same as the previous year, Gina has a feeling things are going to be different and wagers a bet with Rosa and Charles. Told through all the various group chats everyone is in.

Chap 1 | Chap 2 | Chap 3 | Chap 4 | Chap 5 | Chap 6 | Chap 7 | Chap 8 | Chap 9 | Chap 10

authors note: i was gonna wait until i had more written to post another chapter but i felt bad making you wait so here is another chapter! i wanted to title this chapter differently but the one i first came up with rhymes so we've GOTTA stick with that.

Thank you for reading and hope you enjoy!! <3

Jimmy Jabbers

[11:23am, Thursday]

Queen G: okay we NEED to go to a party this weekend or im gonna start pulling my hair out Queen G: im being semi-serious btw

RoRo: name a time and place RoRo: I just show up if I feel like it

Pineapples: gina ur a genius Pineapples: party this weekend is a m u s t

Mr Grapes: I’m in but does anyone even know someone having a party

Four Eyes: I’m with Rosa, name the time and place and I’ll see if I can make it

Queen G: firstly – ur not getting out of this one amy, nice try tho Queen G: secondly – charles I know MANY people and at least one of them will be having a party Queen G: give me 10 and I’ll sort everyones weekend plans

Pineapples: love u gina

Queen G: thank u

-

Sexy Bitches

[11:28am, Thursday]

Sexy: what are ur weekend plans ter?

Ter Bear: James is throwing a party at ours on Saturday. Claims its his birthday but his birthday is in summer

Sexy: and im assuming ur gonna invite ur bestie gina?

Ter Bear: Sure, but you can’t DJ

Sexy: seriously??? Sexy: what if i sent u my playlist Sexy: u can make an informed decision

Ter Bear: Fine, but I’m not making any promises

-

Jimmy Jabbers

[11:33am, Thursday]

Queen G: great news! Queen G: ter bear having a party at his

Pineapples: count me in!

Mr Grapes: me too!

RoRo: yeah sure

Four Eyes: I don’t know..

Pineapples: still recovering from the last party??

Four Eyes: Very much so Four Eyes: I’ll come but no drinking

Queen G: boooooooo

Four Eyes: I’ll be designated driver?

Queen G: amy ur the beessttt

-

Skipping School Is(n’t) Cool

[11:38am, Thursday]

Ferris: u dont have to come

Cameron: I know, I’ll probably regret if I don’t though. My mother keeps bothering me to make sure I’m making the most out college

Ferris: what if making the most out of it is being a regular in the library and handing assignments in a week early Ferris: has ur mom ever considered that

Cameron: Haha I don’t think she has but I’ll bring it up next time she calls me

Ferris: tell her i said that Ferris: i want credit

Cameron: Will do

-

Jimmy Jabbers

[9:06pm, Saturday]

Four Eyes: Leaving my dorm now, you all better be ready. Meet you in the parking lot.

Queen G: rosa and i on our way

Pineapples: charles and i also on our way

Four Eyes: Can’t believe I wasn’t invited to any of the getting ready sessions?!

Queen G: we were pregaming Queen G: next time u will be invited

Four Eyes: Fine. Now get your asses down here.

-

[10:04pm, Saturday]

Four Eyes: Can’t believe I’ve already lost Rosa, does anyone know where she is?

Queen G: with me Queen G: we’re dancing and drinking

Four Eyes: Fantastic

-

[11:24pm, Saturday]

Pineapples: anyone seen amy?? Pineapples: cant find her

RoRo: shut up or come to the kitchen and drink peralta

Queen G: charles hitting on a girl Queen G: trainwreck

-

Skipping School Is(n’t) Cool

[11:26pm, Saturday]

Ferris: where r u?

Cameron: Outside, it was too loud inside

Ferris: u okay?

Cameron: I’m fine, will be in soon

-

Jimmy Jabbers

[12:28pm, Sunday]

Pineapples: my whole body has dry mouth

Four Eyes: I’m not surprised considering you almost threw up in my car

Pineapples: worth it

-

Skipping School Is(n’t) Cool

[12:43pm, Sunday]

Ferris: u alright?

Cameron: I’m fine, I just really don’t think I was in the mood for that party last night

Ferris: fair enough Ferris: when i feel like that i pretend to be a different person

Cameron: I’m not surprised you do that, maybe next time I’ll try it. For now I’m gonna focus on studying

Ferris: as if u need to do more

Cameron: There’s always new material to be worked on, you know

Ferris: news to me lol

-

Jimmy Jabbers

[06:54pm, Tuesday]

Pineapples: calling it now Pineapples: anakin is darth vader

Four Eyes: Wait what???

Mr Grapes: jake, have you ever seen star wars??

Pineapples: this is my first time! Pineapples: i get why people like these

Four Eyes: Oh my God..

Pineapples: i gotta ask tho Pineapples: why the purple lightsaber

Mr Grapes: don’t worry about it, it really doesn’t matter

Pineapples: sure thing!

-

[07:45pm, Tuesday]

Pineapples: im literally so smart guys

Four Eyes: Jake in the nicest way possible, everyone knew about Anakin

Pineapples: seriously??

Queen G: even i knew that and i dont watch movies like that

Pineapples: aw man…

RoRo: Jake ‘I worked out that Anakin was Darth Vader all on my own’ Peralta

Pineapples: idc i still liked the movie

-

Bi Besties

[04:02pm, Wednesday]

Dagger: if you message me one more time about this I’ll burn your die hard poster

El Baboso: i know about motorbikes I swear!

Dagger: gina knows more about motorbikes than you do

El Baboso: wanna take that bet?

Dagger: NO JAKE

-

Jimmy Jabbers

[04:04pm, Wednesday]

Pineapples: @Queen G can u name some motorbikes?

Queen G: sure thing babe Queen G: bike 1, bike 2, bike 3, bike 4, bike 5, bike 6, harry Harley, harriet Harley, henry Harley, hobie Harley, hotel Harley, and bike 7

RoRo: I have nothing to say

Pineapples: check. mate.

-

Skipping School Is(n’t) Cool

[08:03pm, Friday]

Ferris: amy can i be super honest with u rn?

Cameron: Of course, is everything okay?

Ferris: this is hard for me to admit tbh Ferris: but ive gotta do whats best

Cameron: Jake, you’re making me worried

Ferris: i need help

Cameron: Are you alright? What’s going on?

Ferris: im behind on assignments and idk what im doing Ferris: can u help me???

Cameron: That’s it?! You scared the hell out of me! Cameron: Yes, I can help you with the assignments as long as you don’t do that again

Ferris: pinky promise! Ferris: library tomorrow??

Cameron: Sounds good

-

Dance Squad

[01:32pm, Saturday]

G-Hive: ive just gotten some incredibly interesting news

Charlese: dish sis!

G-Hive: ignoring that G-Hive: jake and amy are studying together at the library

Scary: and?

G-Hive: and?! G-Hive: they’re getting cozy

Charlese: they didn’t invite anyone else? that’s weird

G-Hive: i never thought id say this but thank you charles! G-Hive: you get it!!

Scary: so what, you think there’s something happening?

G-Hive: nothing serious because its just studying but voluntarily spending time alone together G-Hive: bit suspish if u ask me

Charlese: its all coming together and im on track to win this bet Charlese: get ready to pay up guys

Scary: absolutely not happening, just because they’re studying alone together doesn’t mean they’re gonna get together in the next three weeks

G-Hive: but its a step in the right direction

Charlese: i still have confidence

Scary: and its still misplaced

-

Skipping School Is(n’t) Cool

[10:06am, Wednesday]

Cameron: Holt has just sent out an email cancelling this afternoon’s class, do you want to go to the library and work on your assignments for a bit?

Ferris: thats great news i should really check my email more Ferris: library sounds good as long as we get food Ferris: im hungry

Cameron: Did you not have breakfast this morning?

Ferris: ran out of fruit loops Ferris: heartbreaking tbh

Cameron: Your nutrition (or lack thereof) scares me

Ferris: thank u!

-

Jimmy Jabbers

[09:35pm, Thursday]

Queen G: manifesting that one day ill have a famous bf

RoRo: are you doing anything to actually achieve that goal?

Queen G: chris evans is bad in bed and if he wants me to stop saying it he’ll have to come prove me wrong

Pineapples: i second that!!

-

[11:32am, Saturday]

Four Eyes: Does anyone want to come get lunch at Sal’s?

Queen G: cant, getting my nails done

RoRo: also can’t, gina dragged me to her nail appointment

Pineapples: yeah im down for lunch

Mr Grapes: I’m ordering in Ethiopian so I’ll pass Mr Grapes: next time though!

-

Skipping School Is(n’t) Cool

[11:34am, Saturday]

Cameron: Meet outside the building?

Ferris: see u in a few!

-

Dance Squad

[11:34am, Saturday]

G-Hive: its all happening babes

Scary: sure it is

-

Jimmy Jabbers

[01:08am, Friday]

Pineapples: i wanna start by saying that i will NOT be held accountable for my own actions Pineapples: now, free of judgement Pineapples: how do i get red wine out of carpet

-

[01:13am, Friday]

Pineapples: you guys suck

-

Skipping School Is(n’t) Cool

[01:16am, Friday]

*Ferris made an audio call to Cameron*

“Jake, what’s wrong?”

“I spilled a drink on the carpet of my dorm and I don’t know what to do, they’ll charge me to replace the carpet or something and I can’t afford that-“

“Okay okay, calm down it’s gonna be fine. What did you spill, and be honest with me”

“Red wine..”

“What?”

“I wanted to try it because I’ve never had it before and I went to put the glass down on the table and miscalculated and knocked my hand and it spilled”

“Is your hand okay?”

“Yeah its fine”

“Okay great, the next time you drink red wine in your dorm I’m going to kill you. Now, you’re gonna need two cups of warm water, tablespoon of dish soap, tablespoon of vinegar and mix together. Pour on the stain in little bits and blot until its disappeared”

“You’re a lifesaver Ames, I owe you big time”

“Yes you do. Now I’m going back to sleep, goodnight”

“Goodnight”

-

[01:29am, Friday]

Cameron: 1 image attached Cameron: good as new!

-

[08:02am, Friday]

Ferris: I’m glad. Never drink red wine in your dorm ever again.

-

[10:12am, Friday]

Cameron: i promise!

-

The Night Boys

[10:15am, Friday]

Sidewinder: sorry I didn’t see your message in the chat Sidewinder: how did u go with the stain?

Deathblade: i called amy and she told me how to clean it up Deathblade: looks good as new now! Deathblade: 1 image attached

Sidewinder: THAT’S SO GREAT

Deathblade: thanks

-

Dance Squad

[10:17am, Friday]

Charlese: 1 image attached Charlese: well well well

G-Hive: boyle if u win this bet im going to delete my insta

Charlese: tempting offer but I’ll do you the kindness of just taking your $50

G-Hive: god i hate u

-

Jimmy Jabbers

[11:49am, Saturday]

Pineapples: anyone up for a movie night tonight?

Queen G: only if its a fun movie

RoRo: why not

Mr Grapes: absolutely!! looking through my DVDs as we speak

Four Eyes: Yeah sure, I could use a break

Pineapples: wonderful!! Pineapples: pls gather at mine at like 8 and bring ur best movie suggestion Pineapples: everyone give me money for Chinese food

Queen G: god ur cheap

Pineapples: im not made of money gina

Four Eyes: How much do you want?

Pineapples: lets call it an even $12 each

Mr Grapes: worth it for a movie night with my buds

RoRo: boyle ruined it

-

Skipping School Is(n’t) Cool

[08:23pm, Saturday]

Ferris: btw i liked ur movie suggestion Ferris: even if gina didnt

Cameron: Thanks :)

-

Dance Squad

[09:03pm, Saturday]

Charlese: they’re sitting next to each other

G-Hive: and im sitting next to rosa G-Hive: doesnt mean we’re in love with each other

Charlese: its gotta mean SOMETHING

Scary: it doesn’t mean shit except that there’s hardly any seating in this dorm

Charlese: you guys have no sense of romance

Chap 1 | Chap 2 | Chap 3 | Chap 4 | Chap 5 | Chap 6 | Chap 7 | Chap 8 | Chap 9 | Chap 10

authors note: Fun fact: that star wars thing is literally me, i didn't know anakin was darth vader and then guessed it when i watched the movies for the first time and everyone was like "you didn't know???!!!". The motorbike one is also a direct quote from my bestie <3

I tried to be less party heavy this chapter, they do have a life outside of going to house parties but i will warn the next chapter involves a party (i am gonna tease that there's non-texting writing in it tho). Also this chapter now with added terry for one of the lovely commenters on the first chap, it isnt much but i hope u liked it!

Thanks again, i love you!! <3 next chap will be out as soon as its done!

[softness-and-shattering]

Perfectly reasonable post challenging people sharijg abouy a marginalized group to do so witjout clarifying that thsyre not part of the groip in the tags.

Totally see where its coming from. Its always a bit sus when peoppe are like "i suppport these weirdos but just byyy the waaay Im not one of those deviants, I swear but I like them fine, some very good people."

And i dont do that in this instance at least i hope never. Yeah thats cringy to say I knoe vut my point is

"I challenge you to share without saying xyz" automatically has me looking for the loopholes bc idk if it qualifies as demand avoidance but smth adjacentish. But thats not thr correct thing to do. Bc i agrer w the person making the post, what tbeyre complaining about IS really shitty. And I wanna be subversive about it bc of brain.

Which btw ks wgy im making q separate ppdt to rambke about this instead of replying on thqt post, bc its nit actually about that ppst its about my idiosynchrosies qnd qlso overtiredness. Idk if anyones even still reading past the mispelling typos etc

[mountain-lion-gremlin]

I usually dont talk about p-shifting here (because theres a lot of hatred and discourse around it, plus my personal experiences would probably make it sound like I'm dying or something IM NOT IM FINE but still-)

If you do not support p-shifting and find this on your page, please block any of the tags below. Thank you.

But like recently I spent some time trying to p-shift, and my mind suddenly veered away from your usual thoughts of how to p-shift (like time to prepare, I'm p-shiftjng now, omg I'm so excited) and suddenly I was thinking of my roots, my deep roots within my identity.

Like, beforehand I was working on a quick comic sketch to communicate with my cougar, and I wrote absentmindedly that if i were to shift i need to go back to my roots.

Btw, if anyone is having trouble connecting with your other side, there are many, many ways to connect with your other side. I'll be making a post about it soon.

And so I'm sitting there, and I start imagining that I'm deep within the forest, behind a bush of sorts, and tell myself "I allow my primal self to shift me." And in my mind I never really said that, it felt more like an understanding of sorts, and I started to see my mind self shift from human to cougar.

And like - I started to twitch like crazy, and my body actually felt different from my other shifts. The tips of my toes and fingers felt like they were starting to distort and change, and I held onto this for a good 5 minutes before i like lost concentration and got excited about shifting lol.

Still gotta get there, but I'm making progress!! I'm thinking that I still need to m-shift some more and such.

Calling p-shifters to give me advice in any sort of way!! Thank you for reading!

[delusion-of-negation]

gross and racist as hell for you all to dogpile and harrass a black trans person for calling you out on being a fucking gross pedophile/pedo defender, CALL THEM HOMOHOBIC for thinking thats fucked up, exclusively she/her him bc him being trans doesnt fit the narrative youre peddling, imply shes never dealt with transphobia or homophobia, CLAIM THEYRE RACEFAKING and then turn around and be racist as hell to them, and then evade their blocks to screenshot their posts and continue to try to start shit with him when hes expressed that he wants you freaks to leave him alone…. all while doubling down that being a p*do is ok as long as youre “non offending”. i have to laugh !

also, claiming that people who criticize you for being a p*do apologist are being homohobic to you, IS homophobia. dont equate being lgbta with being a p*do/p*do apologist. wtf is wrong w u

- a trans person, before you arbitrarily decide im cis, too

my brother in christ, the full context is linked here for y'all to see

we didn't "dogpile" anyone, what happened was somebody was posting, tagging seebs and commenting on posts, incessantly. specifically, falsely accusing seebs of being a pedo/defender, in response to seebs saying, very clearly, somebody who does not sexually assault children is preferable to somebody who does. it obviously was nonsensical, and I said to seebs that I didn't know exactly how, in the current political climate, people could go out falsely accusing random queer people of being pedos... then the random asshole started replying to my reblogs and telling me to unalive, then started sending me hate messages saying that too because, apparently, just saying "that's bullshit" warrants stupid harassment. having followers myself, this obviously led to those agreeing with me weighing in too, I can't and won't tell people to avoid expressing their opinions when someone harasses me. it's definitely not "calling me out" to send messages telling me that.

not to "they started it!!" but yeah, if I speak to someone about it actually being ridiculous that you're harassing them, and so you begin randomly harassing and suicide baiting me, I will respond.

again, you can see in the link, on every single post I used they, it explicitly says "any pronouns" and "I'm a boy and a girl" on there, meaning I didn't "correct" this person who said "she" because I'd literally read that it's fine to use that!! I said they were enabling a homophobic narrative, I said they prop up the "queers are pedos actually" bullshit by doing this, I made no claims of knowing any secret homophobia dwelling in their heart lmao. you read on the person's blog that I she/her'd them and didn't bother reading to discover that I actually didn't do that, you just believed their lies. reading the above linked posts will make it obvious how they are endlessly lying about the race of people involved and what they actually said - I didn't she/her them, and they cut up a sentence within seebs post, to imply something that clearly was not said.

not once did I deny their race or their status as trans/bi, again it simply is a crock of shit they're spinning, because they have this narrative to spin- I've linked back to everything said, I've made it absolutely clear time and time again, I've posted full screens for anything I referenced, whereas they keep vagueposting saying I misgendered them or called them white or even called them the pedophile (I did not, I was and am explicitly against doing that). everything they're claiming in their vagues is bullshit, and all the evidence is in actually reading the conversation, which is why I'll constantly link back to it and they'll constantly obfuscate it, bro. because nowhere did I deny they face bigotry, nowhere did I say anything about racefaking (white chicks is a movie about black dudes pretending to be white chicks, saying they talk as though they're auditioning for a remake is explicitly saying they're black talking like a white chick, please just go watch the damn movie).

similarly, I was never racist, I never block evaded, unless you are saying they also block evaded- they continued talking about me incessantly, lying about me, and I found out, so I screenshotted posts and corrected them, I never tried to contact them again, I simply corrected constant lies about me, meanwhile they did go around said block to keep looking at my blog too, referencing all those posts themself, so they did exactly what I did. if it's bad if somebody lying about me is shown to me and I respond, isn't it equally bad that said person evades the block right back? that's honestly one of the most baffling claims y'all keep making, it's a problem when I simply look at lies about me and leave you be, it however isn't a problem for you to tell those lies, message me to suicide bait, and keep looking at my blog despite those blocks?? speaking of hypocrisy, you're attempting (and failing) to dogpile.

being a pedo is okay as long as you're non-offending. like, yes I'll double down on that. heck, I'll go a step further, I think that any person who's committed a crime or harm deserves to have their liberty, life, happiness, etc, and shouldn't be tortured or harmed because of this stupid desire to punish everyone. I'm a victim of childhood sexual abuse and childhood abuse and torture when I was a child, and I put one abuser in prison, and it didn't help the person become better and kinder, they sent me what was really basically a love letter when they got out. I think a better system, where people get to learn how to be kind and then get a life that treats them well, is possible and should be strived for, and one a victim gets help to recover from what happened should also be, because right now the mental health system in my country (not america, which y'all also don't seem to have grasped) is dogshit. people who don't abuse kids are the outcome we want, so these pedophiles, they didn't choose to have that attraction, it is just a thing brains do sometimes, and when they don't rape kids that's literally the better outcome, that's the best outcome, because it really comes down to that or them raping kids- you can't read all minds in the world and detect the pedos and kill them, and that would be a fucking dystopian nightmare, so if you want to kill all pedos then you have to rely on them telling you they're pedos, I genuinely hope I don't have to explain to you why they wouldn't confess that to you if you were running the death squad. so that leaves us with either they don't rape kids, or they do. I like don't, personally. I think that's the better one. as someone who was an actual victim of childhood abuse. and additionally, two thirds of sexual abusers of children aren't pedos, according to the stats I found a while back, so eradicating pedos wouldn't fix the issues.

anyway, back to the topic at hand, it's not starting shit to make posts correcting the person lying about you, they started all the shits, every single shit I took was in response to the shits they're spewing out about me so fast that I'm worried about their toilet.

nowhere did I say "being queer is pedo apologia!" I said that the people falsely accusing random queer people of being pedos is feeding the "the gays are pedos! the transes are pedos!" lies the rightwing constantly spin right now. I'm not equating being gay whatsoever to being a pedo, I'm saying that people do, and that refusal to think about it while you lie and call random queer folk pedophiles for your internet tough guy points is just dangerous, potentially deadly, and feeding into rightwing talking points. it's another example of you refusing to actually read what I posted, similar to your little quip at the end that relies on the false claim there was a single moment where I denied that they're trans! to further demonstrate how bullshit it is, you should check who I'd compared them to... it was blaire white. a trans person. if what I posted relied on assuming people who disagree with me are cis, where would she fit into that? why would I bring her up? maybe because I specifically was saying them being trans makes those talking points all the more dangerous... because the right will be frothing at the mouth to say "even the queers agree with us!" so referencing an example of that happening is relevant. wait, that couldn't be the case, because that would mean I didn't call them cisgender at any point!! meanwhile they're calling natives white, everybody who disagrees with them white, implying we haven't faced homophobia/transphobia/biophobia ourselves, and lying through their teeth about everything, so look in the mirror, bruh.

[starlight-library]

writing smut about real people is so weird wtf

well this wasn’t something i was expecting to wake up to so good morning to you as well anon. you can find it weird and not like. that's fine but here are a few things.

first and foremost this is RPF: Real-person fiction. It's just like the name states! It's fictional.

second i don't exclusively write smut. I know you're probably side eyeing like "that's a lie" but I don't! I actually have some SFW things in the works to come out this month as well.

last thing is (and can be controversial take but) i'm not doing anything harmful. it is harmless writing. im not shouting it from the rooftops or anything. i'm not shoving (or trying to anyway) it down anybody's throat. I am on here writing into the void because it's harmless fun.

also another hot take: they probably don't even bat an eye. they are probably super busy with everything else they got going on to really care about it or even know that it exist. now if someone--like a driver for example-- came forward and said they're uncomfortable with this existing or would like boundaries place about what is and isn't written guess what?

I WILL BE RESPECTING THAT SHIT

'okay so this driver doesn't want any fics' delete. 'okay so this driver made some boundaries' cool i know what i can and cannot write. do you know what has happened? neither of those things! why? because they probably don't know this exist or have the time to bat an eye about this shit.

again it’s fiction at the end of the day. it is harmless fiction i am just writing. if you like it, you like it! if you don't, that's cool too! you don't have to read! i'm posting this shit for free just for fun! nobody has to read my shit!

also hey. psssst: you are responsible for your own media consumption btw!

your media consumption does not fall onto me. i ain't the one. i make sure my shit is tagged. you may not like it but if you clearly skip over the tags - the whole warning portion i put BEFORE the fic - then i don't know what else to tell you dawg fr.

it's like a friend suggesting a book and informing you that there are trigger warnings. they send you the list of triggers. you ignore the list and read then turn around like "why didn't you tell me about this??" ???? like???? uhhhh no.

also to anyone else who reads my things: please read the warnings. for the love of god that's all i ask. i'm begging.

but anyway. yeah. you can find it weird and wonder wtf is going on but this ain't what we doing. curator your dashboard for yourself. i ain't changing my shit. never had never will idc if i'm weird for it. i know i am weird, always have been always will be. mute the tags, mute my blog, block my blog for fuck sakes idc but this? is not what we're gonna do.

anyway, i'm gonna go finally have my energy drink and go write and vibe, have the day you deserve anon ✌️

[minheeskitten]

"2k is long" is also nonsense i'm so sorry 😭 2k is barely anything if you're trying to introduce an AU and actually flesh in a setting and especially if you're trying to show different personality traits 😭 your fic are mostly AUs with really well thought out lore, and it needs the word count to breathe and establish everything. if someone's attention span is too short to read more than - what - 2 pages? that's their problem, not yours! fwiw, my fic lengths range with the shortest starting at around 5k and the longest getting close to 30k and i have never had anyone leave a complaint about the length! people are more than willing to sit through 10k+ just to get to the smutty stuff, and they usually end up enjoying the rest of the fic as well. do not worry about it! you're doing just fine 🩷

I don't often look at the length of a fic unless im updating someone on how long its getting. My shortest wip is 100 words. And. Ive posted it to here bcs i feel it'll never be finished.

If it does get finished eventually then i will post it as a fic but. Until then it sits in my drafts.

My fics almost always include worldbuilding to at least 3k now. Though not all of them were like that.

Do you want in on a secret? I don't think out the world for my aus. It fleshes itself out. I think on what may happen n go from there. The story writes itself. I am just a vessel for the words and visions.

I am absolutely terrible at worldbuilding if im doing it consciously.

Its why i have visible headcanons for idols. But i just can't put them into words haha.

The most i think through is 'what sort of details would enhance this and make it better to read'

And then thats where i go from!

Siren!ivan was originally supposed to be more non-con than it is rn. The consent is not proper consent tho but thats bcs. Well. Siren wants what he wants and he will convince dann to give it to him.

Though. Thats a little bit of a spoiler. It is going to be tagged accordingly. Don't worry ill tag fics right.

The fic i thought through the most, probably is one ive not even started wtiting. The dissection fic. I gotta do all sorts of research so i can make sure its accurate and well done.

Which unfortunately means i gotta look at anatomy from a more medical standpoint. Need to go find a book for that..

The first fic i put out actually has a very strong plot hole. That i told myself id patch before posting it but. I didn't.

That plot hole was the reasoning as to why ivan was doing that to hwon. It has a very weak reason and i could absolutely fix it now. But. Not this year.

I write ab 5k minimum most of the time haha. I prefer letting the story fill itself out n then helping fine tune details. Its why i really can't tell you how long a fic may be.

So far my longest fic is 16k words. Published. Theres more unpublished. That's for the abandoned but not orphaned one.

I may return to it eventually. That's why i didn't wanna orphan it.

All of my fics stop at a point they organically would have stopped at. When i feel it can't really take another scene. I end it. That usually leaves spaces for part twos to them as well!

But i like exploring aus as i write them.

Fun fact! I write aus bcs im worried that if i do anything else i may accidentally copy someone else's idea.

I do get inspired by the other kd writers. Oh gods do i get inspired.

Lee, lunar, eve, even erin, who encourages the hwonicide. They all inspire me in their own ways. Does that usually come in the form of a prompt to note down asap? Yeah.

But other ways are helping with details for fics. And they are all very welcome to chat ab fics w me. I don't steal ideas. Not without permission and changing it to be my own.

I have a prompt that is inspired by eve's fic Clear My Mind (eve is karmacumover btw!)

But it is different. I may show her the prompt itself if she wants to see it haha.

But i love working on fics. Even if I can't be proud of them as a 'look i made this!' i can still look at the work and go 'yeah. Thats good.'

Thank you lee for helping me figure out how to do that. It was amazing to be able to step back and go 'thats a good story' if i removed myself from it.

The lee im referring to here is intenselysalmon. So she knows who im referring to.

One day. One day my goal is to be proud of how much I've written. Of what I've written.

Its a goal i think is far away. But the more i talk to other writers. The more i realize.

Im not as bad at writing as i think i am.

Honestly id never even considered myself a good writer, until i asked writers like lee and erin their feedback on my works. And they both said i write well. Maybe a little dialogue heavy but. Thats fine i can work on it.

Im doing my best. And im trying to ensure i continue getting better.

The more i talk to other writers and see how they talk ab my writing. The more i go. 'maybe im too harsh on myself' but. As they say, you are your own worst critic.

Honestly i never even considered my work good enough to do much with. But. Lunar still offered to possibly do a collab or fic trade. And i keep thinking on it. Maybe.

It makes me think they find me a better writer than i find myself to be.

Then i see eve, reacting to some of the xlips of airen!ivan ive put out. And she's reacting as i would for any of lee's clips. I find lee an amazing writer. It seems eve thinks of me that way too.

Im trying to wrap my head around it. But the reason i am so harsh on myself is. Anxiety and self doubt. And i need to work through them.

Thats the first time ive admitted that.

I will work through my weaknesses, and be better than before. Slowly. It takes time. I have to be patient.

One day. One day i will be able to proudly say 'im a good writer'

Its not today. But. It will be an eventuality.

Moots mentioned in this post:

Lee (@intenselysalmon )

Erin (@kurenaiwataru )

Eve (@karmacumover )

Lunar (@kingdoms-babygirl )

[nobodywritingao3]

Hi!

Just re-read all of your fics and I just wanted to say that I love your writing style so so so so so so very much!!!!!!!!

Cookies? 🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪

-✨anon✨

(btw if I'm allowed to ask, why did you change your user to nobody?)

thank you so much! :D its really nice to hear that people like my style

:3 cookies! have some warm ramyun, sparkly sparkly anon 🍜

as for the nobody thing, mildly incoherent ramble below:

the short of it is that people on ao3 are getting a little weird with me and i needed to put some space between me and the fandom

(tumblr people, you are all sweet and nice dont worry this isnt really you)

i posted a chapter and i got like five messages saying stuff like "i hate the characters" "this chapter pissed me off" "did anyone else wish that the ending was different?" i moderated the comments on the fic and people started leaving me comments under other fics that were in the same vein of criticism. criticism is fine, i want to be clear, but that kind of talk is inappropriate for the context. im not a content creator, or someone mass producing entertainment, and when people leave me comments, i actually get emails from ao3. so i got like 5 emails that were just "fuck these characters" and nothing else. im not a public figure, im a fellow fan, im just Some Guy posting silly fanfiction on the internet, but people are starting to treat my stuff like its """"Content"""" to be discussed and critiqued and analyzed.

these messages came from people who enjoyed my writing. they left kudos and bookmarks and when i interacted with them, they were respectful and tried to banter with me. these messages arent coming from trolls, theyre coming from people who like my stuff, and honeslty that kind of made it worse.

my stories usually get very positive feedback. for context, heres my stats

the numbers say theyre doing well and i tried not to internalize the negative comments im getting but its overwhelming.

im a clown, not a jester. my first and foremost intention is to entertain myself, not to entertain other people.

so i yeeted the rose name and im trying to transition into a more anonymous removed state because thats kind of the way people on ao3 are viewing me and for my own sanity im just going to comply. i started deleting negative comments and i think im done responding to people on ao3 unless it's someone i know and like or the message really touches me.

the name change isnt really a Tumblr problem, its an AO3 problem. when i have time to sit down, ill be fixing my tags and stuff to reflect the Nobody name.

but yeah. overly complicated reason that im now Nobody.

[beansisarat7]

I posted 2,985 times in 2022

144 posts created (5%)

2,841 posts reblogged (95%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@thedragonemperess

@someguyiguess

@depressedtransguy

@angelwiththeblue-box

@beansisarat7

I tagged 909 of my posts in 2022

#ant has a moment™️ - 110 posts

#prev - 12 posts

#thank you - 10 posts

#yes - 7 posts

#custody battle begins - 7 posts

#prev tags - 7 posts

#oh - 6 posts

#also - 5 posts

#👁👁 - 5 posts

#ant liveblogs a grilled cheese™️ - 4 posts

Longest Tag: 122 characters

#i love how 2 years ago i would have vomited at being asked to learn the single ladies dance as a man unable to be feminine

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

moots

• first impression:

• how I read your @:

• how close are we (1-10):

• do I see you frequently on my tl?

@thedrowningpoetofdionysus @thedragonemperess @angelwiththeblue-box @galvanisticyoungman @ghostlyfanparadise and anyone else

16 notes - Posted October 10, 2022

#4

never made grilled cheese before....let us see how this goes

21 notes - Posted May 20, 2022

#3

Hello, my dearest mutuals on tumblr.com.

On the morning of this fine day that is July 28th, 2022, it is with a heavy heart that I must announce I have become Adult Anthony. I will now proceed to become boring.

I'm off to do taxes and look at minion memes after I get these young folks off of my lawn. Then I will get my glasses put on a chain so I can play Candy Crush Saga©️™️ and drink subpar coffee.

I bid thee all good day,

Anthony

tagging the mutuals;

@thedragonemperess @angelwiththeblue-box @shreksthiccgreencock @niallsunflower @jam-of-jar @galvanisticyoungman @chaoticbisexual-disaster

yes in other words im 18. 😔

29 notes - Posted July 28, 2022

#2

@ all Americans

my friend is an italian transfer student. one of her other friends from italy went to Minnesota

that friend was asked by an American "do they have trees in italy?"

so can y'all confirm or deny that they're an outlier and that collectively, you know trees exist in italy?

41 notes - Posted March 25, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

moots.

how old do you think i am

(will not confirm or deny, just want to see)

tagging u all bc i am a menace >:)

@thedragonemperess (yes ik youre banned from saying but like you can witness this) @angelwiththeblue-box @shreksthiccgreencock @chaoticbisexual-disaster @galvanisticyoungman @ghostlyfanparadise

anyone else is free to guess btw

48 notes - Posted July 13, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[willows-pjo-ocs]

I figured i should make an intro post for my ocs

Also btw if your not tagged in an open starter you can still do it idc just lmk if you want me to @ you ill make a list

And ill just edit this post when i have more stuff or change anything

Edit: im gonna unpin this and link it to a diff master post

Anyways

Kiara Belvedere

Age: 15

Gender: female

Pronouns: she/her

Sexuality: bisexual

Godly parent: Selene

Powers: healing (only at night), photokinesis (limited to moonlight and not that much, kinda like a glowstick when she's embarrassed), increased strength at night time particularly when the moon isn't obscured by the clouds (which does not change when the moon is new since its still the moon), she can transfer the pain you feel to herself, limited hydrokinesis since the moon controls the tides, and she sees better in the dark. Limited umbrakinesis plus she can shadow travel. Not really a power, but she is good at chariot driving since her mom is Selene.

(Slight tw/cw for transphobia)

General information: Kiara is a 15 year old transgender demigod daughter of Selene. She arrived at camp a bit before the Battle of the Labyrinth (the battle itself, not the book, but both are technically true), so she did end up fighting in the Battle of the Labyrinth, the Battle of Manhattan, and the Battle of Half-Blood Hill (plus if there was another one in toa i havent read it yet so dont spoil me.)

I would say she was about 12 or 13 when she arrived at camp so she's been there for a bit

She wasn't claimed until 2 or 3 years after she arrived since her mom didn't have a cabin yet

She is currently dating Aurelia Emerson, another oc of mine.

No father issues here since her dad is pretty awesome, but she does have mother issues, which comes with your godly parent being your mother.

She has a good deal of trauma from these battles, as do the other demigods who fought in said battles.

Kids used to tease her all the time and do stuff like pulling on her hair at school but she ended up finding her people

At some point (sometimes i rp before, during, or after this) she ended up going on a quest. I haven't planned out much of this quest or who she gets captured by, but she ends up getting captured by these monster or something who want a son of Selene even though she very much isn't a son, but a daughter. They only ever referred to her as a boy and made her wear raggedy ass "boy" clothes (even though i believe that clothes dont have gender idk how else to phrase it)

She ends up back at camp somehow, havent planned that part out yet, but yet another trauma she has to deal with (yay i guess..?)

Also, I apologize if I accidentally portray her a bit wrong since I'm not trans but feel free to critique me if I do something wrong bc I really want to know so I can do better/be more educated

Face claim:

Aurelia Emerson

Age: 15

Gender: female

Pronouns: she/her

Sexuality: lesbian

Godly parent: Eos

Powers: photokinesis (limited), hydrokinesis (only the morning dew), increased strength at dawn.

General information: Aurelia is a 15 year old demigod daughter of Eos. She is from small town Mississippi and she came to camp closer to when she was 14, so pretty recently. She is currently dating Kiara Belvedere, as said above. She arrived at camp after an emposai attacked her. (Probably a satyr who brought her, but idk.)

She arrived at camp post the events of the Heroes of Olympus books and thus didn't fight in those same battles that Kiara did. (Once again, if there was one in toa I didn't read it yet.)

She dealt with/deals with a lot of internalized homophobia and stuff like that since she grew up in small town Mississippi.

But she never really extended it towards others. It always confused her why people would be upset about who someone loves or what their gender identity was or anything like that

But as soon as it was her who happened to be a kiss-girl (im so sorry i cannot take myself seriously), she hated herself for it. It was fine when anyone else was like that, but not her.

She ends up being able to accept herself more slowly after she and Kiara don't start dating quite yet, but are kinda talking? Do you call it that if you've been best friends for a while and already acting pretty gay around her? Idk. Seriously, Marilene (head counselor for the Selene cabin) was waiting for the longest time for them to just kiss.

They do end up dating dw

This really reminds me of Once More to See You by Mitski because Kiara really just wanted to tell everyone and everything about how much she loved Aurelia, but Aurelia was still closeted at this point. (Sorry if im making it sound like it was a bad thing that she was closeted. it's not and, good on her for taking her time and doing it when she was comfortable)

Face claim:

Imagine her but just a bit tanner

Marilene Smith

Age: 19

Gender: female

Pronouns: she/they

Sexuality: idk but saphic

Godly parent: Selene

Powers: she can 'see' anything that the moon is in line of sight of (one part of the earth in the day the other part at night since thats how day and night work) (nothing underground plus trees and stuff) to a degree. It takes a good bit of energy and focus and stuff since she's not a goddess. Limited photokinesis and umbrakinesis though she is better at photokinesis. She can shadow travel. Like Kiara, she can heal. But only at night. She was the one who taught Kiara. She also gains strength from the moon. It does not change when the moon is new, since the moon is still out.

General information: Marilene has also been at camp for a pretty long time. She is one of the oldest campers there. She arrived at camp when she was maybe 15 and stays there full time. Being the head counselor of the Selene cabin, she cares about her sibling more than anything. When Kiara didn't return from her quest, she spent every moment she could trying to locate her and asking some of the Helios kids to help her. Even when Kiara was still doing the quest as normal she occasionally took a look just to see if she was alive and ok. She did end up having to promise Kiara that she wouldn't be looking too often. She also had to promise Amaia the same thing when she joined the Hunter of Artemis although the protective older sister part of her often made it very difficult not to.

Face claim:

Gender: female

I couldn't find any pictures that had her body type so imagine her as plus sized and you have the right idea

Amaia Hussain

Age: 13

Gender: female

Pronouns: she/her

Sexuality: idk/doesn't matter

Godly parent: Selene

Powers: Since Selene is also a goddess of Lunacy, Amaia has the ability to drive people and occasionally nymphs mad. She gains strength at night, particularly when the moon is not obscured by clouds. This stays the same even when the moon is new. Limited photokinesis and umbrakinesis though she is better at umbrakinesis. She also has zoolingualism since she is a Hunter of Artemis. She is immortal unless she falls in love or dies in battle, also because she is a Hunter.

General information: Amaia arrived at camp when she was 11 years old. When the Hunters visited camp at some point during Kiara's capture, she decided to join them after Marilene asked to see if they would be able to help her find Kiara. At some point with the help of some demigods from camp and some of the Hunters, including Amaia, they were able to find Kiara and bring her back to camp.

Face claim:

Melissa Hanning

Age: 16

Gender: female

Pronouns: she/her

Sexuality: aro/ace

Godly parent: Psyche

Powers: She is more sensitive to peoples emotions than others, she can look into someone's psyche kinda and see how their feeling. Although she cannot see super clear memories, she can get a sense for what thing in someone's past made them that way. She can temporarily alleviate someone's mental pain so to speak. In general, she is very emotionally mature and is the responsible one.

General information: I do not know when she arrived at caml but I do know that she only stays for the summer. Although she is very much a people person, sometimes being the voice of reason or being a therapist to traumatized demigods like the rest of her siblings is exhausting. Sometimes she'll cope with that by letting herself be reckless and not have to worry about things. Other times she'll just lay in her cabin for a while to soak in the quiet, or rather, what little quiet there is at camp. One day after Leo managed to basically undo the reprogramming Glykera had done to her, he went to Melissa to try and see if she would be able to help Glykera despite her being an automaton (see the oc bellow this one). She wasn't able to use her powers as well to help Glykera since she is an automaton, she was able to help her deal with these new emotions and find better coping skills.

Face claim:

Γλυκέρα (Glykera)

Age: ???

Gender: ???

Pronouns: she/her

Sexuality: ??? (Probably aroace)

Godly parent: None (except she was created by Hephaestus cus it was either that or Daedelus

Powers: ???

General information: (tw for mentions of sa and/or implied sa , physical abuse, and basically being jumped im sorry)

.

.

.

Ok i just did the dots so it would give more space and stuff cus i know i accidentally read ahead all the time and i dont want anyone who doesn't want to to have to read what the tw is for on accident

Anyways, Glykera is an automaton from ancient Greece. Idk which period, probably closer to when they made more of those statues. She was made to resemble the beauty standard for women at that time period.

Since Hephaestus creates a lot of things, she ended up getting lost and ended up in the hands of her old master.

He would have her assist him with things and stuff, the whole schist. He wasn't the nicest man in Greece, but he wasn't the worst. When he first got her, he ended up reprogramming her so that she wouldn't feel or express her emotions as much. Then he reprogrammed her so that she couldn't really object to her order. Those reprogrammings did take a couple of tries however.

He also slammed a hammer or some thing else heavy onto her hand, to see if it would hurt. It did, but since her metal is pretty sturdy, she didn't get dented.

Her old master would have guests over all the time and she would serve them drinks or just stand there looking pretty while she waited for orders.

These drunken guests would occasionally get a bit too comfortable with her, and since she couldn't really do anything, they just continued. You know how those bronze statues of women sometimes have lighter spots on their breasts because people decide to just touch them? Kinda like that but her metal didn't get much lighter. She physically could not say no or move or express her discomfort because of the reprogrammings.

One time, for whatever reason, one of the guests ended up jumping her, almost beating her to robot-death or at least almost leaving her with pretty bad damage.

As a result, she hates being touched. She hates it when people talk about giving her or other automatons upgrades or reprogramming. She hates being called an it as well.

After days when her old master had guests over, he would erase her memory of what had happened if he knew one of the guests had assaulted her, but he wasn't always successful. He often tried to get them to just leave her alone, but he wasn't the most firm about it and they continued.

At some point she was basically powered off and didn't wake up for a few thousand years.

After Leo Valdez found her and did general repairs, he managed to undo the reprogrammings that stopped her from feeling her emotions as strong, expressing them, and he undid the one(s) that prevented her from protesting against orders and stuff like that.

He also accidentally brought back the memories that had been erased from her.

So for the next few days, the overwhelm of memories and suddenly much louder feelings left her in a pretty bad state for somr days. She would jump at every sound, curse herself for being unable to serve and just being in a heap, and sometimes she would have pretty bad panic attacks.

Since he was only really able to help her so much, Leo went to the Psyche cabin and now Melissa is her unofficial therapist.

She has since gotten better, but she is still pretty sensitive to sound, touch, and people being upset in general. She always tried to appease them, make them feel better, just to avoid potential consequences. Only a few people are allowed to touch her, and even then she's still not too big on it. She stays in Bunker 9 whenever they have fireworks displays, trying to avoid the noise, which is pretty effective.

Nowadays she spends most of her time in Bunker 9 although occasionally she will stroll around camp.

She also pretty tall. Either like 6'5 or closer to 7 feet tall

She's not as good as the Kourai Khyseai (Golden Maidens), who were also created by Hephaestus, and her facial expressions are limited and kinda uncanny

Also, I do not ship her with Leo or anyone else.

Face claim: ???/heres a picture of a greek or greek style statue i took at the Boston Museum of Fine Arts just imagine it was bronze

Oh my gods this was long

I even had to switch to the website just to finish adding all the pictures

Thanks if you read all this

Also all the divider things i used came from @firefly-graphics you should go check them out bc they were really a lifesaver when it came to making this

Seriously half the ones i tried to use from google looked like they were transparent but weren't so yeah

They ask that you just reblog the post you get the things from if you use it so im just gonna check that i did