#im filling out into all the crevices n ive been permanently molded in all these wrong ways | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

tamagotchikgs · 5 months ago

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thinking back to when my sister found a disk of a bunch of home videos including one of the day i was born and my dad was just filming me laying there in the hospital for so long & u could just feel the love radiating from hit n how he was talking and i just wonder what i did so fast to fuck all that up . how did i flip that completely on its side in only like 3 years & have it never come back

#what did i do deserve . everything #i didnt even know what was happening ever #i still dont #& i feel so stuck like im just getting bigger n bigger but im never actually growing #im locked in a little box n im too big i dont fit #im filling out into all the crevices n ive been permanently molded in all these wrong ways #just left 2 rot alone #and i never even for a second got to be a real kid #i never got to be a teen because i was still stuck behind #and now im supposed to be an adult #and im just scared #& so alone #all i have ever wanted is just a bit of guidance #everythig has always just been on me #but im fucking stupid #and im always lost n just . winging everything w the highest level of terror in my heart #and so sosoos much pressure #cutting into me

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