#im exhausted by all of it i feel lonely and isolated and sad and irritated and over everything i fannot do this shit anymore

[yrfemmehusband]

Not doing too well 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[onkeywritings]

Can I pls request an emotional comfort fluff oneshot where Kibum is comforting Jinki and Jinki is just emotional(crying) and tired from a super busy SHINee scheduled day and Kibummie goes to find him in their shared bedroom or their living room couch and he just hugs or cuddles Jinki while letting him cry and then Kibum starts to cry too by seeing his bandmate in tears? (Like sweet realistic domestic comfort fluff) 💜

i … uh, dont know if its sweet domestic comfort fluff. but i tried hard to write this for you >.

Hell

Today has been hell. Jinki is beyond exhausted and it’s bad. He has passed the overtired happy period and is down to mentally and physically exhaustion and it’s making him irritated, frustrated and sad. 

There’s nothing he wants more than to pass out in his bed, but the schedules keep piling up and the manager is annoyed with them. 

The results have been progressively bad and Jinki is just so tired of everything. He doesn’t want to be around the other members either, because although he knows they love him, he knows he won’t be able to be fair and reasonable and he doesn’t want to subject them to that. 

Jinki closes his eyes as he sinks onto the couch in the dark living room. He hasn’t bothered turn on the light and he knows Minho is sleeping in his room. 

They’re still the only two living in the dorm, the other three home with family and pets. Jinki feels lonely. He doesn’t even notice the tear that slips down his cheek but one is enough to break the facade and Jinki cries. He sobs into the air, trying to keep silent so he doesn’t wake up the younger boy sleeping. 

“You’re an idiot,” someone whispers behind him and rubs his shoulders comfortingly. Jinki doesn’t really know how Kibum has locked himself into the dorm or why he’s here and not with the dogs. 

He feels awfully guilty because he should have relied on the younger boy he loves so incredibly much but he hasn’t been able to. He’s an idiot, exactly like Kibum says, but he doesn’t care right now. He’s too tired to care about his idiocy. 

Kibum lets go for a moment while he rounds the couch before he sits down beside Jinki and pulls him into an embrace. 

They sit there in silence while Jinki lets the day overwhelm him again. He cries into Kibum’s shoulder, wetting his expensive t-shirt but Kibum doesn’t say anything about Jinki ruining his fashion. 

Jinki is him forever grateful.

The only thing heard in the silent living room is Jinki’s sobs and how they slowly die down and become sighs. Jinki is too exhausted to continue crying. Kibum sniffles a little and when Jinki looks up he finds Kibum with teary eyes. 

This makes him feel sad again and he blinks, hoping to will away his own tears again so he doesn’t start crying again. This is why he doesn’t stay around the others when he’s exhausted. 

It’s because they feel guilty he was driven to this point and it’s because it makes him feel horrible that he can’t be the pillar they need on their tough days. 

Today hasn’t only been hell for Jinki but here he is, demanding attention and love when he should be the only strength for the others, the one they can seek out no matter what day of the week because Jinki always has energy to listen to them. 

But today is not a day where he’s really able to do anything but cry and it annoys him so much. Kibum lets a finger run over Jinki’s cheek and sends him a small smile, even with tear tracks down his cheeks. 

“I love you, you know that? Why do you always isolate yourself when we’ve had a tough day?” Kibum asks and Jinki swallows the lump in his throat. Kibum is looking at him, expecting an answer and the only thing Jinki can really say is stupid. 

They sit in silence while Jinki contemplates his words. When he doesn’t find any reason to admit his thoughts, he sighs and turns away from Kibum. Kibum’s smile falls when he sees Jinki turn away.

“Jinki…” Kibum tries again. “I know what you’re thinking and it’s not true.”

Jinki sighs a little and turns back to face Kibum.

“How do you know?” he asks in a small voice and Kibum feels his heart break at the sound. 

“Because none of us expects you to be strong all the time. You’re the only one expecting of yourself that you can’t ever break down.” 

Jinki sniffs at the words. Kibum just lets them sink in and watches his band member start tearing up again. 

Kibum hates it when Jinki cries but he sees it so rarely that it also somehow only proves just how beautiful Jinki is. He hates seeing him try to be strong when they’re all beyond exhausted. 

Jinki wipes at his cheeks so he doesn’t start crying again, he has been crying enough for the next long time. Kibum slowly lets a hand run up and down Jinki’s back, scrapes his nails lightly against the cotton of his shirt and tries to hold in his own tears. 

Jinki swallows the lump in his throat and sniffs again, before he wraps his arms around Kibum and lets him pull him impossibly closer. 

They sit in another silence while Jinki sniffs and tries to come to terms with the fact that his tears are okay, that he’s the only one setting ridiculous expectations to himself.

It isn’t until Kibum sobs that Jinki becomes aware of his band member that has started to cling even harder to Jinki’s back. Jinki wants to chuckle at both of them crying of exhaustion but for some reason, this isn’t funny. This is heartbreaking but at the same time so heartfelt. 

“I hate it when you cry,” Kibum says in-between his sobs and Jinki rubs his back with gratitude. All the things he wants to tell Kibum but words can’t say.

 They stay like that for a few moments until Kibum pulls away and sends Jinki a smile.

“Don’t isolate yourself the next time, okay?” Kibum asks and Jinki looks towards the couch and his thighs. Kibum flicks his shoulder with his fingers to get him to look up and Jinki takes a deep breath before he nods a little. He can do that. For Kibum. 

Maybe showing emotion is also being strong and maybe Jinki doesn’t have to be alone, doesn’t have to be emotionless to be the best leader. 

Kibum just hugs him again and mumbles something about how he really can’t stand Jinki crying. 

Jinki just closes his eyes, exhaustion finally taking a toll on his body but his soul oddly rested by the crying.