#im enrolling in college and im cooking again and im writing again

[stabyou]

honey from 6 weeks ago would not believe how productive im being and how much my life is changing for the better

[pompadourpink]

Hi mum! Im sorry this is gonna be a long ask, i dont have anyone to tell this. So im will start my senior year in high school next month. And at the end of the year i will take an exam to enter univerisities, which is held only once a year. I have to decide my orientation this week, its either stem+ med and other stuff like this, or law psychology is on another choice. We have 4 options. I am going to go crazy. I have been trying to pick one for a year and couldnt. Now i have only one week. Ive tried everything, we talked with my parents so many times. But still nothing. And my psychology is not really good now because of this, so i dont want to make the most important decision of my life in a headspace like this. Im just so scared. I have panic attacks during the night. I didnt tell my family about this, theyre already worried enough. So i am a "gifted kid" but its not a gift, it is a curse. I have pressure on me, everyone expects me to be successful. And im scared of wasting my potential. What am i going to do? Please show me a way out. I literally cant sleep at night

Hello darling,

You didn't give me all the options or talked about your own preferences so it would be hard to rationally guide your decision.

1/ Don't pick a degree or a job title, pick a career.

Most people specialise in one subject and become references in their field because they work on it until they become excellent. Mine is obviously French (language, literature, culture, history, etc.), and it's always been the case: I started reading when I was three, was known as the school's book worm and claimed I wanted to become a French teacher when I was 8. Fast-forward twenty years: ta-ta!

It is reasonable to think that you already have the answer. That there is in your life that one thing that makes you happy, that never feels like a burden, that you can do/ramble about for hours. If not, you need to explore the world until you find it. It's there, somewhere, waiting to be discovered. No one is devoid of fire.

2/ Don't expect a smooth ride.

It is highly unlikely that you will get your dream job immediately and stay there for the rest of your life (you wouldn't be hired without experience, they might not be hiring at all in your area, your goals might change and you could decide to move, etc.). What will probably happen is that you'll get a job, and another, and another, and then you'll have the experience needed to apply to your dream job and hopefully you will get it. And even then things might happen or you could have a change of heart.

3/ Nothing is definitive.

You always have a choice. You can always change your mind, drop out, start again, do something completely different, take a month off to think, go back to university when you're thirty, start a business, move continents, etc. Whatever decision you will take this week doesn't trace the one path you will have to walk on for the rest of your life. Think of life as a tree, not a straight line.

4/ You're in charge.

Not your parents. I have been that gifted child crushed under pressure and it didn't do any good. You don't even have to go to university. You could become a video editor, a hairdresser, or a cook. You are the one living in this brain and this body for the rest of your life, no one else, so what others think doesn't matter.

Now, my advice.

Get in touch with a teacher you like and see if you can have more time, or if there's a possibility you can change your mind later this year and possibly pick another field. I can guarantee every year there are very chill students who forget the deadline and wake up too late, yet are still be able to enrol in college. There has to be room for the unexpected and teachers know that more than anyone else.

If you're absolutely certain you want to go to uni, write down your four options and their professional prospects in one column, the things you like in a second one, and your job expectations in a third one. Do you want to work alone, in a team, in an office, outside, travel a lot, be an employee or a boss, etc. Think long-term. You will start working in a few years and won't stop for fourty years. Passion is the best tool you can have to make that time look like a smooth ride.

If you want to discuss it with me in person, dead serious, DM me your Skype @ and we can talk today or tomorrow and find a solution together. I let anxiety destroy my life for a long time and I would hate to see you make the same mistake.

Love,

Mum

[versatilewindow]

A Night in ‘Las Vegas’ (its actually Daphne’s mansion)

Find it on Ao3!

Summary:Party at Daphne's, Velma experiences requited gay panic. Written for @scrubyjay<3

A/N: if u asked me a week ago what id be writing, scooby doo lesbian fanfic definitely wouldn't have been anywhere near my mind. im kinda surprised i even had this much to say about them.

In the past few years, the Mystery Gang had made a habit of meeting up before a new semester of college started to relax and hang out before their studies took over their lives. Daphne was hosting at her childhood home (as she called it, though most would consider the estate a real true mansion) as usual, (Her parents were off on their yearly honeymoon or what Daphne would call their regularly scheduled time for absolute debauchery among other acts that are certainly in a legal grey area.) and she had full reign of the staff and tonight's event. This semester’s theme was ��A Night in Las Vegas”, meaning the gang would be dressed in their best cocktail outfits, and that there were actual slot machines and gambling tables, complete with dealers using rigged card decks to make sure no one would threaten the casino’s nightly earnings, not that they were actually gambling it’s all for realism.

This was the week before most the gang’s final semester, most as in Shaggy decided that he’d rather learn some cooking skills on the job rather than some pompous 75 year old teacher at the nearest cooking school, not realizing he would instead have to deal with an egotistical 40 year old going through what was surely the world’s worst case of mid-life crisis. The rest of the gang was spread around the country, Fred was at the local state college on a football scholarship, studying business and was the VP of the school’s biggest fraternity. Daphne was studying investigative journalism at Colombia, if asked she went to school in New York, and she was in fact related to the Blakes financially backing the new Blake scholarship for students studying journalism. Velma was at Stanford double majoring in Criminal Psychology and Forensic Science, and was set to continue her studies in a Phd program at Harvard. 

Out of all the gang, Velma was the most excited for the night, she rarely got to see the others because of the physical distance between them. She walked up the marble steps outside the front doors of the Blake estate, duffel bag in tow, (they always ended up absolutely sloshed at the end of these dinners, opting to stay in one of the many guest rooms with plush king sized beds rather than waiting for a taxi) and pressed the buzzer which linked to a pager on the butler’s uniform. It was only a few moments before Jenkins opened the heavy oak doors.

“Ah, Miss Dinkley, glad to see you’ve made it here safely, would you like someone to take your bag to your room?”

“No, thank you Jenkins, Daphne wanted to get ready together and I have some things I’ll need in the bag. Is she in her room?”

“Yes, allow me to escort you there.” With that Jenkins turned into the Foyer, walking under the first of many grand chandeliers, and up the grand blush pink marble stairs towards Daphne’s suite. Before she knew it they were in front of the door to the bedroom.

Jenkins knocked on the pale door, “Miss Blake, Miss Dinkley has arrived.”

“Oh Yes! Send her in please! The door’s unlocked!” A light rustling was heard behind the door as Jenkins opened the door for Velma, revealing Daphne moving towards her vanity in a silk lavender robe that ended mid thigh. “Velma! I’m so happy you could come early!” The taller woman changed her course towards the shorter one, who seemed almost frozen in the doorway. “Come on in! Thank you Jenkins, let me know when the boys have arrived.” Jenkins responded with a light bow before swiftly turning away, no doubt to continue the prep for tonight's event. 

Velma walked in the room, closing the door behind her, and setting her bag down on the loveseat in front of the room’s TV. “I’m glad I could make it too, I wasn’t sure if I would’ve been able to trade shifts with someone at the bookstore, but Sarah S., remember her from high school? She was trying to avoid a family event that was going on earlier today, her aunts are always setting her up on dates and she didn’t want to deal with that again. So it all worked out!” 

Daphne smiled at Velma, “Oh Sarah’s wonderful, I almost forgot she worked at the bookstore too during the breaks. There’s a robe for you in the bathroom to change into before we do our manicures.” Velma turned into the attached bathroom, quickly changing into the orange silk robe she usually used while at Daphne’s, the light geometric patterns reminding her of all the sleepovers the two shared in high school. Stepping out of the bathroom, Velma saw that Daphne had already set up the station to paint their nails. “So what’s tonight’s color scheme for you? I’m going with glittery hot pink.” Daphne had started with the base coat already.

“I brought an orange leather skirt, and I was thinking of a black top, but the options I brought don’t really fit with the cocktail dress code for tonight.” Velma sat down across from her friend in a dark luxurious chair, fiddling with the collection of polishes in front of her. 

Daphne grabbed a mid-tone orange from the selection, “Don’t worry about your top, you know I have a lot to choose from.” The smile on her face was audible, and she continued, “If it’s the leather skirt I’m thinking of, it would pair great with this sheer, flowy turtleneck I have.” Daphne’s delicate hands grabbed Velma’s, and with skillful light touches started applying the polish. The two took turns with the materials, falling into a comfortable silence finishing the task quickly.

“It’s make-up and hair next, right? I have some things in my bag.” Deeming her nails dry enough, Velma stood and made her way over to the aforementioned bag, pulling out a travel toiletries bag that had her small selection of make-up. It’s not that she was against make-up in any way, it was really more for special events than the day to day, also her college-student budget meant some luxuries were limited, and make-up was on that list. Adjusting her glasses, Velma turned to where Daphne was standing next to the vanity chair, she had a slight pout on her face, the one she used to get what she wanted from anyone.

“Can I please do your make-up? You know I love to do it and you love the outcome every time.” The pout stayed on her face.

“I suppose I could let you do my makeup Daph, seeing as you’re asking so kindly.” Daphne let out a light giggle at the fake sass in Velma's statement. (They both knew that Velma would never say no to Daphne, with or without the pout, not that Velma would ever admit it.) Velma sat down, leaning against the back of the chair, removing her glasses and setting them down on the vanity to allow Daphne full vision of her canvas.

Feathery touches moved across Velma’s face, applying the primer on to soft moisturized skin. “Are you wearing contacts tonight?”

“I brought them, but I’m not sure I’ll remember to take them off before sleeping tonight.”

Daphne continued with the base make-up. “Don’t wear them, you look cute with your glasses.”

A light blush covered the tips of Velma’s cheeks and nose, it certainly wasn’t her first time hearing that phrase, but something about hearing it from Daph’s rosy lips made it different. 

Working swiftly, Daphne made her way to the eyes, she grabbed Velma’s eyeliner, leaning in close to work on the wing. The controlled, concentrated breaths tickled the lightly covered freckles on Velma’s face, the flush from before continuing on strong through the powder pink blush Daphne already placed on the high point’s of her cheek bones. Daphne leaned away from her to examine the work done, hands lingering behind on Velma’s face, a satisfied smile appearing when she decided the two sides were even. “We’ll do lips after we change, you good on your own for hair?” Velma nodded while putting her frames back on to inspect the work Daphne had done on her face. It was simple, what she liked best, but it was better than anything Velma could do on her own. Daphne had perfected her technique in blending and choosing colors, if she didn’t know the other for years, Velma would’ve expected Daphne to enroll in a fashion and design school. 

The two made quick work of the rest of their prep work, gossiping about the town’s latest scandals. (The Adam’s were being investigated for tax fraud, and the Miller’s were going through a particularly nasty divorce.) Velma straightened out her hair, smoothing it from the usual halo of frizz, stealing glances at Daphne while she did her own make-up and hair. Their gazes met each other once, staring deep into the other’s dark eyes for a beat before looking away as though nothing happened. 

The evening drew to a close, night just beginning to settle in, the others would be here soon. Their attention was now drawn to the expansive walk-in closet in the room. Daphne pulled out the sheer turtleneck mentioned before for Velma, it had shiny glittery threads spread throughout, perfect for tonight’s event, and a hot pink sequined mini dress. They both changed in front of each other, as they had many times before, but something in the air was different, there was an unspoken tension between the two of them growing from the lingering touches and frequent glances from earlier. Velma looked up from her skirt’s zipper to see Daphne’s bare back in front of her, dress unzipped. She said a light ‘I got it’ before pulling the hidden zipper up the pale back, the dress tightly hugging the curve of the toned body before her. 

The tension dissipated as they walked over to the rack of shoes covering a wall of the closet, Daphne thinking out loud, wondering if she should go with boots or a strappy pump. She grabbed a chunky platform heel for Velma, one she often borrowed, before deciding on black suede thigh high boots. Daphne’s pink phone pinged, a text from the boys, they were five minutes away. As she pulled the boots over her long legs, Daphne saw Velma staring at her thighs, pinked nose, where skin met suede, and blushed herself, not mentioning that she’d caught the other. 

Shrugging this off, Daphne stood and walked out of the closet, to the door of her room, waiting for Velma. As the shorter walked to the doorway, fingertips touched the small of her back guiding her through. The two walked to the main room on the ground floor where it had been transformed to feel like a real casino, the lights were dimmed, 5 slot machines took up a wall, a dealer’s table next to the grand fireplace, tall, small tables with tea lights and stools took up the center floor, and two servants stood at the edge, one with a tray of hors d'oeuvres and the other a tray of champagne. Meeting the ladies at the bottom were their friends, and Jenkin’s informing them that dinner would be served within the hour. The boys cleaned up well, Shaggy’s usual mop of hair gelled back, with burgundy suspenders against a white button up holding up light green slacks. Fred opted for a more classic black and white suit, with a sapphire blue tie to add his own flair. Even Scooby looked prepped for a red carpet, his nails cut, a light almond scent from soap rather than his usual distinct dog smell. 

The forty or so minutes before dinner was served went smoothly, Shaggy, Scooby, and Daphne spent their time catching up at the slot machine; Fred and Velma playing black jack while laughing about funny stories from the past semester. The waiters did their jobs, handing out each person’s favorite snack before the meal, or snacks in Shaggy and Scoob’s case, leaving no glass unfilled, although they insisted they all have at least a glass of plain water for every couple of refills. 

Once it was time for the meal, the servants put their trays down to push the tables together, so the group could enjoy the dishes together. Daphne pulled her stool next to Velma’s brushing her hand against the smooth skin of the other’s thigh, and noticed how the seated girl’s relaxed, slightly tipsy posture tensed at the quick touch. The dinner continued with similar interactions, a tap of one’s foot against the other, a brush of knees under the table, dabbing away sauce at the edge of the other’s lips. If the boys had noticed these seemingly innocent interactions, they either didn’t care about the clear subtext, or were too drunk to even notice the tension growing with each lingering touch.

After they had finished eating, the ladies continued with their behavior at the table even though the others moved to the dealer’s table for poker. With a well placed hand on the other girl’s thigh, Velma took things a step further and gave a light squeeze, causing Daphne to get out her stool, pulling the other by the wrist to the nearest bathroom, offhandedly mentioning their destination to the hired boy bringing out chicken nuggets for Shaggy. 

In the bathroom, Velma locked the door behind them as the taller girl pulled her onto the granite countertop in a rushed passionate kiss. Contrary to popular belief, Velma was no stranger to Saturday night party bathroom hook-ups, but she was in her childhood best friend’s home having a bathroom hook-up, with her childhood best friend no less. The flutter in her stomach that was growing during dinner, turned into heat and a blazing fire at her core as Daphne’s supple pink lips trailed down the side of the other neck, lightly biting where the top of the turtleneck ended. A quick hand undid the button at the top of the sheer shirt, allowing Daphne more places to nip and kiss. Velma’s hands pulled the other closer as a soft moan left her lips, making Daphne continue the attack at her neck with more vigor. With a light squeeze on her butt, the orange haired girl looked up from the other’s neck with half lidded eyes before asking, “do you,” a kiss on the cheek, “want to take this” a kiss on the other, “to my room?” a kiss on the nose, “I have some things there that could make this even better” a kiss on the lips. At this, Velma hopped off the counter, straightening out her disheveled clothes as best she could before unlocking the door and rushing towards the stairs, Daphne close behind with a large grin on her face. The only thing that pulled them away from their mission of making it to the room was a quick stop telling the boys they were turning in for the night.

The next morning, Daphne figured it was a good thing her parents insisted the boy’s sleep on the other side of the house.

Bonus: after the ladies mentioned they were off to bed

Shaggy turned to Fred, he was drunk, but sober enough to notice the smeared lipstick on Daphne, or the trail of lip marks down Velma’s neck. "You're gonna have to pay up man, did you see them?"

Fred slumped down onto the table and mumbled, "Why couldn't they stick it out a few more months till after graduation, I'll have your money on Monday."

A/N: uhhhh, velma got RAILED, lets leave that as the description for the smut. I would also like to get dommed by Daphne Blake. Lmk if u liked it!

[thatslifesis]

here goes nothing.

Hey everyone I am Dallis, yes like the city. I just turn 21 last month. Little background, I grew up in Swampscott, Massachusetts with my family of six. My childhood was great I had a family that loved me and I am so grateful. I have had anxiety since I was about 7 about throwing up just like my mother, but other than that I was a very happy little girl. When I got to middle school it all changed and I started to go through puberty. My face quickly became inflamed with acne and I began to have a lot of negative thoughts about myself and the way others saw me was all I could think about. I spiraled out of control and in eighth grade I landed myself in the hospital for a week. While there I was diagnosed with major depression. I hated who I was and was so unhappy that I honestly did not want to be alive anymore. I was in the hospital for a week then stayed home for a month doing all my homework at home. I went back and passed and graduated. I had great friends by my side going into the summer before freshman year. Until I got involved with a person I soon regret ever talking to or trusted. And that is a story for another day. Anyway by the time I step foot in my high school my reputation was destroyed over lies someone spread about me. I struggled a lot through high school emotionally because I was always on edge I felt as though I was trapped and everyone hated me or thought I was a slut or are they looking at my “pizzaface”, which was my nickname in middle school. My anxiety was crippling some days. I have a couple friends that I remember always being there and I’m so grateful to have met these special people. Unfortunately I also had some negative relationships as well. It’s not that they weren’t good people just that that weren’t good for me at that time. My friendships with these people only resulted in pain in the future. I was so excited when I got a job at a pizza place in Salem down the street from my house. I actually connected with some of  my coworkers and that made me want to work as much as possible. End of sophomore year I ended up falling for the cook at work. He was a little older than me and I was very intimidated at first but he ended up helping me find my way. I am not always the easiest person to deal with and he handles me with ease. He showed me early on he was staying around after only being together for a year he stood by me when I ended up in the hospital again. It was mid way through junior year when I am diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder. I ended up not going back to school because they didn’t offer me any other option besides repeating a year which I could not do because the school itself is one of my biggest triggers. I dropped out after my 18th birthday. I left the school that day devastated and confused because this was not what I saw myself doing. After dropping out it seemed that no one from my school even noticed or even cared. I never heard from my “friends”, no one checked up on me and I basically became old news. Many of the friendships I tried to rekindle blew up massively in my face and I ended up hurt and insulted when I didn’t even know I did anything to begin with. I ended up moving to Lynn to live in an inlaw apartment  under my boyfriends mom and two brothers. This was where my new adventure began and wow has it been a crazy ride. I never in a million years thought I would be a highschool dropout and I was very determined to graduate college. The only way to get into college is getting my GED. Shortly after dropping out I enrolled into a program through North Shore Community College to help me complete the tests to get my GED. It was a class a couple of times every week and at the end I wore a cap and gown and walked across a cafeteria floor and got my paper certificate of completion of my GED. I am very proud of this moment now but in the moment I saw it as less than because I would never graduate high school. Some of my friends from school were upset because I didn’t invite them and to be honest the only person I was thinking of on that day was myself and I was ashamed. I understand why they were upset and I’m sorry. Today I have a completely different feeling when I think back on that day, it makes me strong. My whole life I have struggled with my mental illness and it has impacted all of my life decisions in a huge ways. The “darkness” is what I call it and it seemed impossible to escape. I still feel trapped sometimes and I take a step back but I always come back from it. I am starting this blog to write about my life with depression, anxiety, PTSD, and trauma.  I know I am not the only one out there who is struggling, and battling with themselves every second of everyday. I am not an expert but I do have some experience with crazy and maybe I can help someone or inspire others. Writing this blog has been scary and stressful but the hardest part of this whole thing is going to be pressing post. Sooo if you are reading this then know I am most likely second guessing everything and im freaking out but I’ll be okay and I have overcome a huge fear and let a bunch of strangers from the internet into my life…. Lol what’s the worst that could happen.

XOXO Dal

[lesbianstarlightglimmer]

Soo yesterday i got a job offer from the dean of journalism at my uni and she wanted me to be a discussion leader for freshman and i accepted, thinking that that would satisfying my nagging parents who have been worried about paying for college. i told my dad this morning what time i was assigned so he would know my schedule. THEN somehow that led to him saying 'you’ve never had a real job' (apparently this new one or my job as a reporter/free lance writing doesnt count lmao) and basically he put that on me. DESPITE THE FACT they were the ones who pushed me to focus on classes (both during high school and uni) and not both work and school. But now it’s once again on me. 'you cant just sit around on your video games and phone all the time you need a job. i wont have all of these unproductiveness' but guess who’s been the one doing the laundry and cooking dinner bc he doesnt want to have to be bothered when my mom is unavailable for one reason or another? OR who’s the only one that can give fireball his medicine bc he hates my parents bc my dad is too rough and loud and angry for fireball to handle? This semester they pushed me to take more hours since a class got cancelled and (not counting the spring intersession class) im enrolled in like 15-16 hours (counting the intersession would make it 18). Ik they’re stressed bc we dont have a ton of money to blow on college and theyre acting like its my fault i changed from architecture bc now in journalism i could take classes at a community college for close to free but that would put me behind on a lot bc i doubt that community college has what i need to become a journalist. also im already enrolled its really fucking late to be saying this bs now lmao.

To add onto that, my mom has been harassing me all break about washing my hands bc i do it too much in her opinion but my family is so fucking nasty idk how its so weird??? my younger brother always wears athletic pants so they have no pockets so guess where his phone goes??? guess who touches the cat before touching all the food/silverware????? guess who was messing w the nasty trash and then touched all of the inside of my car (that one was my mom not brother). the only thing im doing thats really ‘hurting’ my family w/ it is having red hands from washing them. thats it. she’s repeatedly made fun of me for it, even going as far as to touch my leg while she was driving (this was after the trash incident) after telling me to get over it and when i flinched from her nasty ass hand touching me she got annoyed. and she said ‘but if you dont get exposed to things than you cant build an immunity :)’ fine ill go lick some sick persons ass so i can build an immunity to you guys’ asshole-y ness :)

And my dad is in such a foul mood 24/7 its been stressing me out bc im dealing with him by myself bc my brothers had a shorter break than I did. And lately he’s been on a kick that if i don’t immediately respond in the .00000001 second when he says ‘what do you want?!” then he gets annoyed about how ‘timid’ im being.  He literally makes me so fucking jumping and nervous all the time so i never get it out before he starts harassing me about it so this ended up happening 3 times since break. He did the 3rd time today when i went to tell him bye before he had to leave to go to the store and he had the door closed and he was texting someone and so i didnt want to disturb him but he looked up and saw me and opened the door and said ‘what?! what do you want?!’ and i barely said ‘i just-’ and then he said 'i dont do this timid crap youve been doing lately so just spit it out' and OH BOY DID I WANNA SAY ‘oh i was just going to say go fuck yourself you literal piece of shit <3′