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brinaedwards · 3 years ago

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Hi, my name is Brina... and I’m a workaholic

As the above title states, my name is Brina and yes, I am a workaholic. I don't think of that as a bad thing since I enjoy the self-motivation and the feeling of accomplishment when I get tasks done. However, my boyfriend thinks that I should focus some of that time getting more hours of sleep, haha.

I attended Valley Central High school and graduated in 2017. High school was an okay experience, if I wasn’t apart of the band program I feel that I would have disliked it more and would not have an interest in the things I do now. I’m not trying to shit on the school, but I feel that it needed a deep cleanse on administration staffing and just an overall re-look on how to spend the funding. Just saying, I think the asbestos issue should have been handled before the bleachers and locker rooms. But, not my problem anymore, Thank God.

When it came to deciding colleges and all that jazz, my high school was zero help in the whole process. Yes, they talked about it but at that age things should be more simplified to understand what needs to be done. I’m 22 and I just finally figured out how to build up my credit score? Like, HELLO, start teaching kids about loans and all the other financial shit that goes into college. Not to mention the absolute lack of help I got when picking my major. I knew I wanted to go into the music or media industry and of course, none of my advisors had a clue what I was talking about. I decided on OCCC for the pricing and that cushion of still figuring out what I wanted to do. I attended SUNY Orange Fall of 2017 as a liberal arts: music emphasis major. Fast forward a year later to find out that they actually have a music program! Got to love the help advisors give you right? More so, the help wrong advisors give you. That following fall I was a full Music: Performing Arts major and loved every second of it. I met amazing, talented people that I am very glad to still be in touch with. When I was on my last semester and was on the edge of graduating I had the moment of “Oh, God.. What the hell am I going to do after this”. I decided I wasn't ready to move on from SUNY Orange, since I had no idea what direction to go. I started looking into another major and that's when I found New Media! I was always interested on how content was made and what went into making a film. I remember my cousin and I used to make these little movie clips with the windows movie maker. We thought we were going to be these big movie-making hot shots at 8/9 years old haha.

I am grateful that I took my time with school and by the end of this OCCC journey I will be graduating next Fall with two A.A.S degrees and a clear idea of where I want to go.

Aside from anything media related I’ve been on this reading kick. Genres from fantasy, horror and some history. This summer my boyfriend and I got really into reading/collecting comic books! He has way more comics than I do but at least once a week we’re at Middletown Comics seeing what new issues came out! Now with the fall/Halloween season fast approaching I have been planning some great ideas for this year! I know I may catch a lot of eye-rolls/ mini-hate from those not wishing summer to be over but I can’t wait for fall. Besides, halloween is everyday haha. I’ve been looking at Pinterest ideas on how to DIY some awesome decorations. I guess Pinterest is somewhat media related though? Ah well, since I'm back talking about it, I might as well talk about the last movie and TV show I watched. The last movie I watched was actually what had to be watched for COM 105. It was the 1995 movie Kids and uh.. it was definitely something haha. I understood the point of how it related to youth culture but I would not want to watch that movie again. As for the last TV show I watched, was again what I had to be watched for COM 105. It was Euphoria season 1 and that was a really good show. I know I only had to watch the first four episodes but I binged the whole season. The way the story was told was creative, I enjoyed the narrative back a forth style and how each character had their own stories. It made it worth getting a month of HBO Max.

Being on the topic of last things done, I suppose the next order is the last book/video game played or finished. The last book I finished was A Map of the Dark by Karen Ellis. I got that book from Thrill Club. It’s basically a horror/thriller/anything dark and creepy book subscription. I canceled thrill club awhile ago and just now getting into the books I was sent. Anyway back to this book that I read. I found it a little empty. I just wanted more from it, it was very predictable and dry. I wanted more character depth, more suspense and just more of everything. The book is in the corner of my room at this moment because I’m going to donate it, that's how unsatisfying it was to me. But HEY if anyone is interested in a dry thriller let me know! Haha. As for the last video game played it would have to be Assassins Creed Valhalla and that was a few weeks ago. I do love to game but when I’m getting into a project or assignment, more of my focus goes into that rather than a video game. But my goal this semster is to take more time to myself and have self-care days, so Valhalla here I come!

Going down the “Lasts” list I have to my right here is, the last thing I created. Um, I guess the last thing I created was a make up look, that I will post a pic of at the bottom! I do have ideas I wish to create such as uploading my podcast and YouTube videos! Im a really big planner so when it comes to things like that I want to have clear, organized agenda. I do have a date that I want things done and released so there’s that! I will probably mention more of my podcast in future posts but for now things are in the works.

Which now brings us to the last thing of the “Lasts” list. Im sure there is a tongue twister in there somewhere but I don’t have the brain capacity to think of one. My last meal on earth would have to be what I had for dinner last night. I ate cheese ravioli with a side of mozzarella sticks.

I know this assignment was supposed to be a minimum of 500 words and I believe I exceeded that. I look forward to these blog assignments since I can let my mind go and word things as if I was actually speaking. Well with a post this long I guess it’s safe to say I was ranting.

To future rants and of course the required MLA formatted references!

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luthien-t · 4 years ago

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The Sun Will Shine. (Chapter 6)

Summary: Thanos invaded the asgardians ship & Thor called for back up. Being a liable paramedic, you gather your tools and went to space. You end up being injured during battle but Thanos was defeated, what will you do when you find out your lover, Loki suffered more than just a few battle scars? But then again, no one is ever really gone.

Chapter Summary: You find yourself asking Thor to help you with the one last task and a chance of finding if Loki really is still here.

wordcount 1.3k+

warnings: falling

A/N: Should I make a taglist? Please send me a message of you would like to be in it, I’m trying my best to better my writing because I feel like its very flat or just emotionless, so please if anyone has any advice or anything else I’ll be more than happy to receive it! :) Enjoy reading!

You blinked at the crow as it tilted its head at you. Your mouth was running dry, you didn’t know what to do at this new discovery.

“Oh my god, I’m going crazy.” You whisper as you run both hands through your hair before closing the curtains and walking away from the window.

First, you thought the journal was the only way to find Loki, then you realise that he is no longer alive, and now you think a crow is following you around and it might be Loki? You try your best to stop thinking about it, again, you have bigger things to focus on than some crow. You have an entire room to clean and a party to go.

Three hours past since you started cleaning the room, it was still messy and you have a bunch stuff piled on top of each other for Lokis stuff and you have another pile for donations, checking the time you realise you only have one hour to get ready and decide that thats enough cleaning for the day.

Before you head to the bathroom, a knock was at your door.

“It’s unlocked!” You say, walking towards the middle of the room. Thor poked his head through the door with a smile on his face. “Lady, y/n! Are y- what in the name of Valhalla did you do to the room?” He fully entered the room now, glancing at you face and at everything else in the room.

“Thor! Just the man Im looking for, I need to ask you a question. I know you may think I’m crazy. Again.” You tilt your head lightly. “But I could use some guidance here.” You smile sheepishly at him and scratch your head, you’re not sure how you are going to interpret your question or even how to say it, but you know that no one will believe you like Thor.

“Is everything all right?” He raises and eyebrow while go to sit on the edge of the bed, looking up at you.

“What was a crow-“ You inhale deeply before closing your eyes. “Did Loki ever turn into a crow?” You open your eyes to see Thor smiling softly up at you. “What? I feel like I’m going crazy with everything Loki did, or is doing, I’m not even sure anymore.”

“Loki enjoyed being a crow a lot, every story I told you about him being a snake to scare me, there is an equal story to it with him trying to gouge my eyes out as a crow.” He laughed at the memories he had with Loki but his laugh died down when it dawned to him on why you were asking such a random question all of a sudden. “He is still with us, isn’t he?” His smile still on his face. You shrug, you’re not even sure what to believe anymore.

“Well, there was this crow, back at the apartment, and now it’s here.” You point at the closed curtains and continue. “I’m starting to feel like I am only thinking like this because I refuse to believe that he is g-”

“Well, maybe he isn’t?” He interrupts you, he knows how hard it is for you, while he was healing and moving on the past month or so, you were so focused on finding someone who was believed to be gone, he knows what it is like to lose his brother, Loki has done it to him multiple times, and every time, Loki proved him wrong, so he was also still holding on to that small hope that his brother still being here.

“So, how do we know that it’s really him?” He asks you, not bearing the silence that was slowly growing between you two at the moment.

“I jump.” You say and bite your lip, saying it out loud feels ridiculous, you know the only way Loki will truly show up is if you are in danger, but how will you bring danger to you when you’re in the safest Tower and surrounded by the most powerful people? You figure that the only way for you to be in danger is if you pretended to be in danger.

“I beg you pardon?” There was a puzzled look written all over Thors face. “I’m not sure I’m following, jump? What do you mea-“ You point at the balcony behind you. “Oh. Absolutely not. Thats not an option, y/n.” You sigh loudly and drop your shoulders. “Thor, come onn! We both know Loki will have no choice but to do something in that kind of situation.”

“And what if it’s not Loki?!” His voice rises with worry, you raise your fingers to keep him quite, trying to shush him. “he is literally outside the window and can possibly hear you!” You whisper loudly at him. “What if- what if It’s not Loki, then what? You plummet to your death?” Your eyes widen at his words.

“What! No, doofus, you’re gonna be down there to catch me, I trust you.”

“This is too dangerous, lady Y/n.”

“But Thor, listen to me, Loki wouldn’t let me just plummet to my death, plus, he won’t know that you’re down there waiting to catch me, I know this is a stupid plan but I have to try something, anything. His death is driving me crazy and I find it hard to believe that he is actually dead.” Your eyes start to tear up. “Are you going to help me?”

“Alright, I’m only doing this to stop your brain from over analysing every creature you see.” He stands up and walks to the door, “I’ll be on the ground waiting for you, Lady y/n, be careful”

You smile wide at him and hug him tightly. “You are one crazy woman.” He chuckled nervously before pulling away and out of the room.

You waited another 10 minutes before pulling the curtains and there he was, the crow was innocently staring back at you with his head tilted again. You open the window and jumped over it to stand on the balcony. “Come on, Loki, give me something I can work with, I don’t want to do this you know.” You lean down towards the crow, waiting for a response, but all you got was a crow staring back at you. You look down on the city to spot Thor, he was waiting with his hammer in his hand and a nervous look on his face.

You look back at the crow again, “Still? Nothing?” Still. Nothing. You sigh. “Fine, then you leave me no choice.” You take a deep breath before you stand on the other edge of the balconies grill, the crow starts to caw and click at you, fluttering his wings and you hold back a smile, this only confirms that this isn’t an average crow. It was Loki, and you are finally going to see him. You throw yourself from the edge and close your eyes, the wind was pushing you up while gravity was pulling you down, with every second passing you can feel your body reacting with the fear of dying and you open your eyes quickly but before you realise anything else you find yourself in someones embrace and colourful lights start to flash all around you, then came the sensation of air being sucked right out of your lung and a tight grip on your waist, next thing you know you are on your feet, inside of a dark cottage house with a beautiful view from the window.

The adrenaline start to wear off and your body aches all over, you furrow your eyebrows inspecting the area, arms still holding you tightly, you hold your breath and look down, you know these hands like you know your own name.

“Not the reunion I planned for to be honest, Love”

A/N pt2: Hello there! Finally got to see Loki, about time I know I know, Im currently working on the next chapter and so far its angsty angsty angsty oop

#loki #Loki Laufeyson #loki odinson #loki fanfic #loki fic #loki x reader #loki x you #loki x y/n #loki laufeyson x reader #loki odinson x reader #loki odinson x you #loki odinson x y/n #loki laufeyson x you

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hjbender · 4 years ago

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So I just finished In Side Out. First of all, let me say what a superb story. Easily one of the best Thorki Fics out there, and honestly my favorite one. The characterization is on point and the writting is really really beautiful. I have NEVER read a fic that describes sex in such an elegant way. Obviously sex is far from how media portrays it. But somehow you managed to find the perfect point between aesthetically pleasing and realistically gross. So hats off to ya! (Pt1)

Aw shucks, thank you! I’m so glad to hear you’re enjoying the series and found my writing aesthetically pleasing. Best compliments ever!

I don’t think there is anything super special that sets In Side Out apart from the legions of other superb, sexy thorki fics out there. In the Flesh was my first published thorki fic (I was practically building the scenes in my head on the way home from seeing Ragnarok), and I hadn’t read any other thorki fics before I wrote it, so I think that might be the biggest reason behind my seemingly different writing style. I was essentially a stranger from the other side of the galaxy when I came into the Thor fandom, and anytime new blood is introduced to a fandom, that blood brings styles and phrases and words that aren’t really new, they just haven’t been seen before. But whatever the case, I’m just grateful you enjoyed it!

(Pt2) That been said, I just had to let you know that I made myself laugh thinking about the delivery of baby Thorson. I literally started cackling when I thought about Loki cursing Thor and his cursed d*ck all the way from Valhalla to Nifleheim and back to Midgard. Nevermind the reaction of the Avengers. If they thought Loki was dangerous or frightening before, they havent seen a Loki during delivery. Im asuming its going to be a "Everybody take cover!" moment.

That is a hilarious thought, especially imagining the reactions of the supporting cast! When it comes to serious or dramatic scenarios like pregnancy and giving birth, humor is a great tool to defuse the tension, one that I used heavily in the first chapter of Side By Side.

However, I do think that the whole “raving mother giving birth and screeching/swearing/verbally flogging the father” trope is a little silly, maybe even slightly condescending toward women, and used far too often to inject wacky, Looney Tunes-esque comedy into something that could otherwise be really amazing, a great show of fortitude and feeling for the characters involved.

(Note: There is nothing wrong with liking or writing humor-driven birth scenes; it’s a total matter of personal preference, and it’d be awfully hypocritical of me to criticize anyone since I’ve written and enjoyed such scenes myself.)

I think it would be much more profound to have Loki, while quietly weeping and straining and clenching Thor’s hand as he endures what might be the greatest pain of his life, lean his sweaty forehead to Thor’s (which Thor tenderly mops dry) and whisper to him how much he loves him. Maybe adding some witty retorts just to make Thor smile. And Loki using that love as something to focus on as he delivers this child that is the unexpected product of his and Thor’s love for one another. And Thor kissing him and encouraging him despite his own terror and uncertainty, trying to ease Loki’s pain as any loving husband and father would, taking the blood and gore in stride, maybe even being the first to catch their son as he arrives in the world. I just think it would be great to see them take this birth on side by side (pun intended), and it might serve this particular story better than taking the purely slapstick route.

But this is all just my observation and opinion, and like I said, my experience is limited to the anecdotal and my own imagination. Who knows how that scene is going to play out when Baby Thorson finally arrives?

Speaking of which, I plan to get cracking on the next part of In Side Out as soon as I get through the @thorkibigbang and update The Little Frost Troll. So much thorki, so little time! It’s a good problem to have.

Thank you for sending these wonderful asks, anon. They have been the highlight of my day! 🌈

#ask bender #thorki #in side out #hjbwrites #pregnant loki #birth scenes #mpreg #writing #writing styles #humor #opinions #thunderfrost #post-ragnarok #fandom #new blood #hjbendergifs

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brightsun-and-darkmidnight · 5 years ago

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Side Story: Without your mate to be...

Side story. Another idea in the middle of too many...

You are to be Thor’s mate but he is away as you go into your fist heat.

Alpha and Omega. Loki and reader/you. Marking. Blood. Bond through blood. NSFW.

~~~ Enjoy ~~~

Loki sought you out to discuss the recent book you recommended. It was really brilliant. Your knowledge on various things were vast. Even if you could not do such things you took interest in, such as Seder… you found very useful spells for certain situations. Loki's current book in mind was tucked away in his own bookshelf. He wanted to let you know it was another successful book that demanded his further attention. Loki wanted to explain some parts that you left notes in random sections.

You were great to indulge with conversation. Loki desired you the greatest during conversations filled with jests at each other. He was lucky to have you around for the rest of his life. You were Thor's betrothed long before you set foot on Asgard. You learned the way of Asgardians quickly and naturally became one with the society.

However, you were able to be married in an arrangement for peace due to your first heat never occurring yet. Once it did and Thor mated you… you would be his for all of existence. You seemed happy with Thor and him overjoyed with having you. The two of you spent much time with the other on many meetings to become more acquainted before the mating.

Right now, Thor had urgent business he needed to deal with.

You were checked thoroughly for any signs of heat before Thor left. Should you experience the first heat without an Alpha to douse your fire, your body would slowly shut down with the heat. Loki shook the thoughts from his head because it was forbidden to think of a partnership on either side with desire.

You were happy with Thor and he was a suitable companion for you. With your vast knowledge, Thor would have a strong voice of reason.

Loki stopped at your door and then knocked but no answer. "That's odd…"

He knocked again. "Y/n? May I come in?"

He heard a faint yes so he entered.

Loki KNEW he should have left but the smell of you kept him rooted in place. Then those sounds you were making…

Driving Loki mad and he could feel himself growing to mate.

"Please. Please please please. Oh… make it stop…"

It was a series of soft whimpers of frustration. Loki KNEW deep down they were not for him… you were arranged to be with Thor. He was to be your mate. You were supposed to bear his brother's children.

Loki smelt a surge of arousal. You were in your first heat. But Thor was away on urgent business. Loki snooted and turned quickly in search for his mother. He opened the door so fast the large doors slammed against the walls.

Frigga jumped and inquired, "Loki! What is wrong?!"

"You need to get Thor here." Loki could still smell you. Hear your whimpers to make it stop. Loki growled with a shout, "now!"

Frigga went by his side and tried to search him for answers, "What is wrong?"

"Y/n… y/n is in their first heat." Loki growled again with a tug to his own hair. He has never mated with anyone and the few times he smelt Omegas in heat they never got to him this way. But this was the first time he smelt an Omega in its first heat. No one knew you would have your heat now -the doctors checked! Although, the first heat could happen anywhere at anytime. Any Alpha who mated with an Omega during the first heat they would be mates for life. The marks that happened during the intense, high hormones, and need to satisfy simple biology to reproduce..

Loki wanted to go and take you for himself. He needed it. Oh Norns he needed something.

Servants rushed past him in search of various ways to contact Thor.

Frigga rushed Loki to a private room. "How do you know?"

"I went to talk to her about a book. I asked to come in and entered because i heard a reply but…" Loki groaned as his whole body ached. "I smelled her. I turned and here I am." Loki forced a dry laugh.

"Oh dear." Frigga's hand held the other to stop nervous shaking, "I will mix you something to take the edge off."

Loki was given an elixir but it seemed as if hours passed. Loki was left in the room alone but he did not dare feed the ideas his body burned, ached, and needed to act out on. You were his brother's. The two of you were matched due to form a stronger alliance. However, Thor was not here, not in your bed and-

Loki howled in pain as a need flooded him.

The damn sedative did nothing.

There were small knocks on the door.

"Im fine." The bark was harsh but if he would have known it was his mother, he would have tried to be calm.

"Loki… Odin wants to speak to you."

Loki moved off the bed but had to quickly recover by holding himself up among the bed. Loki took a shaky breath. He opened the door and Odin was there. Loki was beyond thankful he did not need to walk all the way to the throne room. A prince in need stumbling through the halls would not be good news for the kingdom.

Odin wasted no time to cut to the point, "Y/n is in terrible condition already."

You were already shutting down? There was no way your heat was this bad.

"Thor will not make it before their body can not handle the heat. I have already contacted their kingdom." Odin waited until Loki could regain control of his body from an urge… "it has been decided that you, Loki, will take place of Thor. The alliance will still remain strong."

Loki was beyond gasping for air, "And y/n?"

"As long as their alliance stands, they have agreed." Odin waved towards the door, "It is agreed you two are acquainted enough for the rituals after being mated."

If it was acceptable, Loki would have ran past the Alfather and would already be so deep in you his knot would be trying desperately to keep all of his release inside of you. Loki stopped at the doorway as he was hit with a wall of your scent.

You laid there withering in pain. Legs pressing tightly together and a sheen of sweat covered your body. Loki watched as your body arched from a new wave of unbearable pain. You were crying out for anything to stop the burn. He acted quickly by tearing his clothes from his body and the soaked sheet from you. Your eyes opened but had deep dark bags under them from fatigue. You were naked already.

Your hands parted from your sex and instantly sought his body to pull it to your heated one. Loki let a satisfactory rumble leave his throat as he quickly entered you.

You screamed out, "Oh Valhalla!"

Loki was vigorously marking you as his. His teeth mared your skin everywhere he could. He fared no better as you claimed him as your Alpha. Everything was so blissfully amazing. Loki has never felt so good in his entire life. His knot grew larger than he has ever experienced from self pleasure. You clung to him so tightly he could only make poor attempts to thrust but the pulling on his knot made him mark you harder. He never thought the stories were true until this moment.

The need to make you his with marks so horrendous that stained sheets crimson.

He knew his final mark would be left on you for the rest of your life, no matter what you went through. He would be marked yours for as long as he exists with your mark. He was biting into your shoulder as you bit his neck. He made a noise into the bite once his release filled you and slightly quelled your heat. Your pleasurable sounds echoed in the room as you parted your teeth from his skin. You instantly started to clean it with your tongue and gentle laps and sucks.

Loki's teeth parted and he felt his knot still seated deep within you. Instincts to care for you set in as he cleaned your shoulder as well. Cleaning you made the bond greater because with blood within his system he would know everything about you from here on. He would know of your emotions, sensations, and even your location. Most importantly he would know when your body changed due to a successful mate.

When there was little blood left on you from other marks Loki finally looked at you. Crimson covered your face from your own marking and attempts to clean him. Your eyes barely opened but you smiled as they closed again.

"I never thought I would see you like this."

Loki laughed as he cleaned your face, "it was forbidden to think of each other this way."

You hummed. "You. Loki. My Alpha…"

Loki purred against your neck, "my Omega, Y/n."

"Omega sounds so good when you say it."

Even with Loki's seed within you he could feel your arousal returning. "Well then my Omega… how many times can you go?"

A new strength erupted as you gripped his arms. "How long can you keep this up?"

"We are going to be here for a long time. Omega."

#side story #Alpha #Omega #loki #another idea in the middle of another #marking #blood

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the-marvel-imagines-blog · 6 years ago

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Madness | Chpt. 1

Requests are Open

Chapter Title: “The Warrior”

Pairing: Loki x Original Female Character

Word Count: 4,795

Warnings: mentions of character death, drinking

Name Pronunciations: Hjalmar: “He-all-mar” | Aaldir: “All-deer”

A/N: I had my fun with this and took a lot of liberties while creating this story. You will need to suspend your disbelief as I have taken some stuff from (mainly) the cinematic universe but also the comicbook universe as well as stuff from my own imagination. Please note, also, that this story has some original characters and that the beginning takes place before the events of Iron Man 3. I really hope you enjoy reading this as much as I’ve enjoyed writing it so far.

I stood with a glass filled to the brim of Hjalmar’s favorite Asgardian ale. I never enjoyed the taste, but it was strong enough to get a man three times my size drunk, so I was going to need it. This was what we did after a battle. We had grand feasts and told stories of the battle we fought. Most of us would falsify how many we killed or exaggerate how graceful we were on the battlefield. Hjalmar was no different. He had stood taller than the God of Thunder himself, yet he was no God at all. Hjalmar was a simple warrior, but he was one of the best. The battle on Vanaheim claimed a few Asgardian lives, but none had been greater a friend than Hjalmar was to me. The drinks I consumed during the feast would be in honor of him.

As soon as I rose from my seat, Thor’s eyes, blue as Midgard’s oceans, landed on me. As he became silent, the entire room died down. Normally, I didn’t have much to say, but the prince-with hair as gold as the King’s throne-always knew when I had something on my mind. When everyone’s eyes followed Thor’s to land on me, I began to speak, “tonight, we sit at a table with places set for absent friends. Each battle that claims a life of one of our own also claims a piece of ourselves. Hjalmar was my closest friend, and his heroics on Vanaheim will be remembered by those who loved him...as I did,” I smiled in fond remembrance as my eyes lowered to my drink. The energy in the room was buzzing, even in the silence. I could feel the life surrounding me, and it gave me the strength I needed to gaze around at the faces in the room. I raised my glass, ale spilling out and trickling down the side, “so, brothers, I urge you to drink heartily for the fallen, and take pity on those they will conquer in Valhalla!” I exclaimed.

Cheers erupted from the half-drunken men. They shot up from their seats with glasses raised high and cheered before drowning their own sorrows in drink and celebration for the lives of our friends. Before I could drink, my eyes met those of my prince and childhood friend. Thor’s eyes were filled with understanding because he was one of the only people to truly understand just how much Hjalmar meant to me. Even in my darkest moments, when I felt completely isolated, I still had Hjalmar. Now, that security was gone. He raised his glass to me, and I did the same to him It was a mutual understanding. Aaldir-the man who raised me as his own-took in Hjalmar when he was just an orphan boy, roaming the streets of Asgard. He raised us both, and I saw Hjalmar as a brother and best friend. Hjalmar and Thor trained together during their childhood and fought at each other’s side in battle. My heart broke for Thor just as much as it broke for my own loss and sorrow, Hjalmar had been with me through my darkest nights, and now...he was gone. I didn’t know how I could face the only father I ever knew when I felt so much shame over the loss of the closest thing to a son he ever had. And Thor. The sorrow in those blue eyes cut me like a knife. I wanted to sob into my drink.

But I didn’t.

Instead, I tipped my head back and chugged the ale that left Hjalmar on the floor some nights. There were times when the massive drunken man would be held steady on my shoulder as I led him back to the house after a night of feasting and drinking. Tonight, I would have no one to carry home. Just the thought of it brought tears to my eyes, and I finished my glass of ale, tossing the empty cup to the side. I walked away from the noise and out into the fresh air. As I stared out into the vast universe, I wondered if he could see me. I wondered if he could understand that I hated him for leaving me to live the rest of my life without him. I wondered if he could understand that I still loved him with every fiber of my being because he was the only family I ever had. The thoughts clouded my mind so heavily that I almost didn’t hear the soft footsteps behind me. However, I was always aware of him. Thor. There had only been two other people I was more in tune with, and I couldn’t even bring myself to say their names anymore.

As I leaned against the railing of the balcony, Thor stepped beside me and copied my stance. I felt his gaze on the side of my face, almost like he was trying to read me like a book. I shook my head, strands of hair falling from behind my ears. My heart felt like it was being torn in two, “none of this feels right. Valhalla wasn’t ready for Hjalmar, and I’m not ready to let him go,” I confessed, tears filling my eyes once again, “I just...can’t close my eyes without seeing it,” I added, turning to face the golden-haired God of Thunder.

Thor’s hands cupped my cheeks, and I leaned into his warm touch. The only other man to make me feel so safe was...him, and that comfort died when he used his power to torment and murder the Midgardians without a hint of guilt. I fought back the tears, never wanting my prince to see me as just another hopeless maiden. Asgardian women were meant to be strong. We gave life to the God’s, so were we not stronger than them? I could not show my weakness to Thor, not now, not when he lost so much, “you should not worry yourself with things outside the realm of your control, my lady,” he spoke, stroking my cheek with his calloused thumbs, “Valhalla received a great and glorious hero when Hjalmar walked through those doors. He will continue to fight and drink and eat as he always did in life, and there will come a day when we’re all together again. I understand he was one of your closest friends, but he died a valiant death, and you will see him again in Valhalla someday,” he reassured me.

I pulled away from his grasp and stared down at the streets below where I was beaten and abused for defending my prince. Not Thor. Him. I shook my head, my bottom lip quivering and, in my eyes, resurfaced unshed tears for a man that died long ago, “my sorrow is not only for Hjalmar. I think of-” my breath hitched in my throat, and I swallowed back the sob that threatened to shake my body. I swallowed and grimaced, fighting back the need to shed tears on behalf of a man who caused so much destruction but tried to protect me from it at the same time, “I think of how your brother was dragged through the streets of Asgard in chains...like he was an animal.”

“I do not enjoy seeing this, either, but I’ve tried to think of it like a hunter coming back from a successful hunt. He will speak of it for weeks after. While my father may be taking this too far, he does it out of pride for our accomplishment. You, me, and the heroes of Midgard brought my brother to justice, and this is my father’s way of rejoicing” he tried to explain. Thor always did his best to soothe me. Seeing that his words did nothing of the sort, he continued, “his treatment will not upset you so much if you can remember what he did on Midgard.”

“How could I forget it?” I snapped, suddenly angry that a man who knew me so well assumed that it would be possible for me to forget something so tragic and so deeply disturbing. I could remember seeing him on Midgard. I could remember the pain and fear in his eyes when they met mine. He still wore green, and a part of me resented him for it. The man I knew was still alive beneath the hatred and anger he felt. What could one do when the person that holds the largest piece of their heart poses the biggest threat to all they hold dear? Life. He destroyed so much of that while on Midgard, and I could not forget it. It would be a my most haunting memory for the rest of my days. My eyes lowered as I realized how wrong it was for me to be upset with Thor when I did not feel any true anger toward him, “it all seems like...like a nightmare that I should be waking up from. None of this seems real anymore,” I explained.

He reached down between the two of us and grabbed my hand in his much larger one. His long fingers intertwined with mine, and, as I looked up at him with concern for the sudden motion that would undoubtedly draw attention to the two of us, he smiled down at me, “come with me” he urged, giving my hand a gentle tug in his direction. We began walking, the sleeves of my dress and his black robe that draped over his broad shoulders hid our hands from the prying eyes of the warriors who were still feasting. There had already been whispers of who his queen would be when he assumed the throne, and the moment he was seen with any acceptable woman, it would be scrutinized. I did not wish for my relationship with one of my greatest friends to be jeopardized over something so trivial.

As we walked out of the sight of the crowds, he pulled me closer to him. Soon, I found my arm looped through his, and we walked together toward the forest. I glanced up at him, taking in the view of the man before me. I couldn’t deny his beauty. Each day I knew him, he grew more and more beautiful, and there was a small piece of me that wondered what it would be like to be the object of his deepest affection. Still, I could only entertain the idea because an even larger part of me would be...his. I shook the thought from my mind as we made our way to a small clearing in the forest. At the very middle of the field of green was where I would sit most days, my back leaned against the most beautiful and unique tree of them all. We all knew it as “Life’s Tree.” The trunk was as brown as the earth with flowers lining the branches overhead. I glanced up at Thor, “why did you take me here?” I asked.

He smiled down at me as he sat against the tree as he had so many times before. I would bring him to that very spot so many times in our childhood, and I would sit with him. As we grew older, he would find his moments of peace and solitude in the forest with me, but nothing compared to the moments I shared with him underneath that tree. They were moments of pure peace and beauty. It was when our lives were much simpler, when it was no worry how long we were wrapped up in each other. He was no prince in the eyes of Odin, but he was my prince, “these woods are your home” Thor answered, breaking me from my train of thought, “in over a thousand years, do you truly believe I haven’t noticed you singing to the trees? Odin claims time and time again that this forest is healthier now than ever before, that your presence has helped it thrive,” he stated.

“The king...your father has always been more poetic than most,” I exclaimed, smiling down at him before I lowered myself onto the ground next to him.

He chuckled to himself as his gaze flickered up to the flowers on the tree. The red and white petals caught every hint of starlight, and it spilled down onto the two of us, specks of light illuminating his face to me, “I asked my father the story of this tree once, especially why the leaves do not fall like the rest and why it is unlike the other trees in this forest. He told me that a long time ago, this used to be a simple meadow. No trees and no life could be found here. Then, one day, Death itself planted this tree beneath the biggest star in the night sky, and her tears watered the sapling. No one touched the sapling from that moment on, but it still grew and brought up the most beautiful forest in all the Nine Realms with it. The red flowers symbolized the violence and bloodshed of death, and the white represented the purity and innocence of all life at the beginning. The reason why it never withers is because these two forces have danced together since the beginning of the universe, and it will continue long after you and I cease to exist,” he murmured, recalling the story with fond memories of this place. He stared down at his hands that were folded across his lap, “your problem is not that my brother was taken through the streets as much as it is you cannot visit him.”

I shook my head in disagreement even though my heart knew his words to be true. For so many years, I tried to pretend that I didn’t care about him. When he betrayed Asgard and tried to kill Thor on Midgard, I tried to forget the man he was before. When he fell from the bifrost, I tried to forget the joy he brought to my life. When I saw him on Midgard, I lied to myself-told myself that I didn’t want to save him. I still did. I wanted to do it for myself and for him...and for her. My sorrow grew, “there is no part of me that wishes to see your brother. I care not of him but of the safety of Asgard,” I lied.

Thor saw right through me and challenged me, “then why does Odin’s treatment of him trouble you?” he asked, his hand grasping mine as he often did when he could feel my sadness. Too many people believed Thor to be a lumbering oaf, but he was so intelligent and so intuitive. He could read me like an open book most of the time. He was so compassionate and pure of heart. His mere existence made me want to cry tears of joy as he was one of the most selfless and heroic men I knew. In every moment I felt unsure of myself, his support was something as small as squeezing my hand, or it could be as extravagant as lifting me up off the ground with shouts of celebration. He was not only a hero to the Midgardians. He was mine, too.

His gentle squeeze of my hand was all it took for me to come up with the right words to articulate what I truly felt, “locking away someone like...him is dangerous, especially when he is given no time to visit with others. Think of how much hate and filth is in those dungeons. A man like your brother is sitting in that cesspool, soaking it all in. He’s listening and calculating. That anger within him is festering, especially when he has no one to put out that raging fire in his heart. He’s becoming more and more dangerous the longer he sits down there. I only fear for the safety of my home and the safety of my people,” I explained.

“The people of the Nine Realms are safe because of his sentencing. He hasn’t tried to break out of his cell thus far, but if he does, we’ll be ready for it. And may the gods take pity on any being who should go up against the likes of you,” he assured me with a soft chuckle to lighten the mood. Upon seeing that I couldn’t even muster a smile, he frowned,“you have a heart too kind for this world and all others, Lady Eva. You are a beacon of light that people look to, and you have lightened the darkness in my own life time and time again. I know that you seek to find good within my brother, but after all he has done, after all the destruction he has left in his wake, he deserves none of that compassion. Deep down, I think you know it’s true. That’s why you have not spoken his name since the battle of New York. I love my brother, but I cannot forgive him for what he has done to both the population of Midgard as well as what he has done to you. He has caused you so much distress and sorrow, so much pain and misery. I cannot trust him with the people of Asgard, and I certainly cannot trust him with you, my lady”

“Do you know what it’s like to feel lonely, my prince? Do you know how it feels to walk through the forest with the trees being your only friends? Do you understand how it feels to sit next to the water and listen to it splashing against the rocks because that’s the only way to drown out the voices of those who have hurt you? Do you understand what it’s like to wish for a table full of friends and family who love you? I do. Your brother does, too,” I explained, trying to make Thor see that before he tried to take over the throne, his brother was gentle. He enjoyed causing mischief, but he needed some way to release his sorrow and grief. I continued, “you think that he pushes people away to hurt them, but he does it because he’s afraid of hurting them. He has been told all his life-since we were children-that he is an abomination, that he’s no good, that he doesn’t belong here. What do you think he sees when he looks in the mirror? He knows what he is, and he knows he’s capable of hurting others, so he pushes them away before that can happen. He has tried to protect us just like you’ve always tried to protect me. The man we knew before is still alive inside that man we saw on Midgard. I know it, and I’m going to bring him back,” I added.

“You have enough hope for the both of us, my lady. You’ve always had a heart big enough for every living thing in the Nine Realms combined. I just wish to see you at peace. You have worried for him long enough,” he stated, recalling the many times in the past when I would fret over the raven-haired God and how the Asgardian people treated him. I worried about him more than I ever did myself. When we were on the battlefield together, I would put myself in harms way for him, but he did the same for me time and time again, so I owed him, “will you be okay with just your own company tonight, Lady Eva?” he asked

I saw the reflection of my green eyes in his blue ones, and it made my heart ache even more than before as I thought of the countless moments the same thing happened between myself and him. His eyes were the purest shade of blue, brilliant and deep. I nodded my head, suppressing some of my most beautiful memories to keep myself from feeling the pain of his absence, “the trees will watch over me through the night. Like you said before, this forest is my home,” I answered.

“Sing a song for him tonight-for both of them, as I know you miss her just as much,” Thor suggested, knowing that I needed some way to process. I couldn’t go home to face Aaldir, and I would isolate myself for the time being. Singing to the trees had always been something that I used to soothe myself, and it helped lift the sorrows of death from my heart.

My fingers brushed against his hand. The only thing I desperately wanted in that moment was to feel the touch of another, and if I had it my way, I would’ve been speaking with the man who was the polar opposite of the God of Thunder. If I had it my way, I would be sitting beneath that same tree, braiding his black hair away from his face. Instead, for that moment, I had to settle for the possibility that I would never see him again. I glanced up at Thor, “will you be listening?” I asked in reference to his suggestion.

He smiled and stood up from the forest floor. I followed him, my deep green gown straightening itself as I rose. His eyes softened as he gazed down at me, “I’m always listening,” he assured me, leaning down and brushing his lips against my cheek. I felt like crying. I loved Thor with every inch of my heart. He was one of my greatest friends, and I wouldn’t trade him for the world. However, I needed him. I needed him in that very moment. After all I had lost that day, I needed to know that I wasn’t losing him, too.

When Thor pulled away and leaned his forehead against mine, I felt the familiar trembling in my knees that I did before he first kissed me in our younger years. It was not the first time I had been kissed, and it was not the last, but it was a moment of clarity the two of us shared with each other. As he smiled at me, I couldn’t help but allow my sorrow to melt away just in that moment. I was brought back to a simpler time, a time when I didn’t know as much of the cruelty in the Nine Realms as I did now. I was oblivious to so much of the pain that humanity experienced. I didn’t know true sorrow until I gave my whole life away. Now, I was clouded by the pain and suffering so many living things experienced in their lives, and it tore me apart. However, as I stood there with Thor under the light of the stars, I was brought back to the simple moments, like when he told me that he could see all Nine Realms in my eyes or when he traced the constellations on my skin in the silence of the forest. Or when she first smiled at me.

After Thor’s silent retreat back to the castle left me in the forest alone, I gazed up at the white and red blossoms of the tree before resting my palms against the trunk. The energy from the tree flowed through me, and I passed my own energy into the tree. I closed my eyes and felt the essence of the whole world at the tips of my fingers. I felt her sorrow as if it were my own, just as I felt her joy as if it were mine. To me, the world was alive, and there had never been a day when I took her gifts for granted. She was mystical and wonderful. She sustained each of us, giving of herself every single day for thousands and thousands of years. I mourned with her when she grieved for those lost in battle, for she provided for them until their last day, and she didn’t like saying goodbye. Just as I mourned with her, she did the same with me, too. It was as if we were one and the same. I knew that a part of her felt sorrow and grief for the same strange reason I was. It was because of him.

As I thought of the other beautiful moments of simplicity in my life, the moments of purity, he was in so many of them. Even though he had been stripped of his innocence so long ago, there was something that held him together. Even though he experienced so much prejudice and cruelty in his early years, he maintained his positivity through our childhood and early adulthood. My prince, my prankster, my friend. Malevolence surrounded him the last time we saw each other in New York. I saw a man who killed my best friend and took his name and face. He wouldn’t even look at me during his sentencing, but I couldn’t help but wish he had. My peaceful moment with Thor was meant to be with him. Every single moment of my life was meant to be spent with him. I did not hate him for the hurtful things he said to me on Midgard. I did not hate him for pushing me away time and time again. I hated him for taking away the one thing that made my fight worth it. I hated him for making me care so deeply for him, that the rest of the Nine Realms disappeared when he was with me. I missed him with my whole heart, and I made up my mind in that moment. I would save him even if he didn’t want me to.

*Loki’s POV*

As I sat in the dungeon, books strewn across the floor, I dared to close my eyes. Every time I did, I could see her green ones staring back at me. I could still see the fear and anguish that struck her when she saw me on Midgard, and I wished for her to simply kill me. The pain became more and more unbearable the more I closed my eyes. I could not sleep without dreaming of her, without contemplating how my actions ruined her. My mind was no longer my home, and I wished for her to just put me out of my misery. Every time the dungeons fell silent at night, I could still hear her whisper my name under her breath. I was brought back to Midgard, and I could still feel the pain my actions caused her.

The dungeons had not fallen silent just yet, but I hoped that the guards would come down soon to quiet the other prisoners. I clenched my jaw, a piece of me wishing for the noise. I could not bear to hear her disembodied voice anymore, the sound of her cries still echoing in my mind. I had not seen her shed the tears, but I heard them on our way back from Midgard. The guards had pushed me along, and she stayed behind me, comforted by my older brother who deserved someone like her. I certainly didn’t. I knew that if the silence fell to leave me with her voice in my mind, I would fall into the pit of madness I knew so well. The cell I was imprisoned in had already seen enough of my fury.

Suddenly, a soft melody cut through the shouts, and my heart dropped to the floor. Everyone became still. The prisoners stopped banging on the walls of their cells, the guards stopped speaking with one another, and everyone stopped yelling. Everything fell completely silent-so silent I could hear the guard from across the room shift his weight onto his other foot-and we listened to the song.

“Now, the stars shine brightest wherever you are, and they will shine on me no more.”

It was her.

The voice, the beautiful melody, the sorrowful lyrics-it all pointed to her.

I leaned my head back and closed my eyes to welcome sleep for the first time in days. Still, I could not fall asleep. When I closed my eyes, I saw hers, and they were filled with tears. They twinkled as they fell from her green eyes, like stars falling from the night sky. She was in mourning. I could feel it. I felt the way her heart was breaking, and there was nothing I could do about it. There had been so many moments that I would run to her aid when I felt her pain and anguish, but this was one of the many moments when I wanted to be there with her, but I couldn’t do it. She didn’t need me, anyway. I was a monster, and she was...not. She was my friend, my princess, my love.

My Eva.

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