#im devastated over this btw. screaming crying throwing up

[nlghtlocked]

Gale's step was cautious as he entered the room - Annie appreciated that, appreciated the careful way he placed his feet, as though he was making a constant assessment of the ground, whether it would give way beneath him. Finnick was like that. Gale reminded her of Finnick in a lot of ways; not so much in looks (no one was like Finnick in looks: it was his great blessing, his greater curse) but in the way he carried himself, barely concealed menace in the strength of his shoulders, the steadiness of his hands. People dismissed Finnick, forgot so quickly what he was capable, caught up in those curls, those cheekbones, but Annie never forgot - never forgot the way he looked with blood on his hands, the way he moved -

She blinked and returned her attention to her needle. It was easier to focus on the smooth swish, flick, point, easier than looking at Gale's soldier posture and trident-strength. Looking at her mending, she could almost imagine things were safe and fine and normal - if they had ever been normal. She heard the soft noise of the mattress giving way under his solid weight, twitched at the sensation of someone near her, just out of her line of sight, until she looked up again. She gently pierced the needle into the cloth, holding it in place, and bent to pull out his shirt, neatly stitched and mended, from the basket at her feet. "It's okay," she said, handing it over, pleased to find that her voice was steady and calm, muffled in the cotton-wool atmosphere of the hospital ward. "I like to do it. It keeps me occupied. I need something to do with my hands. Besides, it's not so different from nets." She extended her hand, palm up, to show him the callouses and faint scars there, relics of years of boat work, rope burn, deck splinters. Good scars; rare, in the Capitol. They had erased her childhood experiences when she went into the Games, but she had built up plenty since. Her fingers trembled, but only a little.

At his second question her expression flickered, but only slightly. She nodded to the basket of mending, and the small dress stretched over her lap, needle still impaled in the Thirteen-grey material like a javelin, like a spear. She touched the point contemplatively. "This is for Rose - Farma's little girl, who works in the canteen? She's always tearing her things, running around." She chewed her lip. "I wish we had other colours, but..." She shrugged and gestured around them with a small smile. "We do what we're told, right? Dress how we're told?" Again, her expression flickered, a memory floating just out of reach - they had not been dressed in grey, when they had come to get her, to get her and Johanna and Peeta, Gale had been all in black, and Finnick too, face mostly hidden, though she had known it was him when he spoke to her, before they had left him there - she pulled the needle from the dress and resumed her careful stitching, hiding her expression behind her hair.

𝐈𝐓'𝐒 𝐁𝐄𝐄𝐍 𝐀 𝐖𝐇𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐇𝐄'𝐒 𝐅𝐄𝐋𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐅𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐈𝐀𝐑 𝐀𝐂𝐇𝐄 𝐈𝐍 𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊. it could have something to do with those scars that he’s grown utterly ashamed of ( but that stew his fire, his rage, ) or the tension stored within his shoulders. he has always carried the weight of the world on his shoulders. for his family, and now for the rebellion. it’s more than gale replacing the father figure that he once lost, this was the most natural role for him to play. now that he could physically act against the capitol, what sort of human being would he be to outright reject something like that? furthermore, his time to run away has been long GONE. that was never his destiny.

shoulders roll as feet pad into the weapons’ storage room, gale’s physique and overall posture more rigid and soldier-like since his escape from the bombing of TWELVE. he did what he could to get as many people as possible out, and hasn’t stopped to think about all the lives that he couldn’t reach, the ones he had failed. ( there’s no time for guilt or devastation; he can’t stomach the agony right now. ) roughened fingertips graze the grip of one of the military bows. gale praises beetee’s latest design for him before beetee mentions paying annie a visit, suggesting that the district four victor might be able to recall information now about her time in captivity. gale heaves a giant breath; he’s been avoiding this mostly because someone would have to explain finnick, how he’d sacrificed himself and traded his freedom for the safe return of the love of his life. it hits a little too close to home, and gale’s TERRIBLE with the subject of love. thoughts of fighting back in a seemingly hopeless war consume him day in and day out, but he finally resigns himself to meet with annie.

when he finds her room at the infirmary, she’s knitting him together a shirt. the gesture was similar to how things used to operate in twelve, exchanging acts of service and scraps of food or medicine just to survive. did she remember him and the rest of the small infiltration squad breaking her out of the capitol? "you didn’t have to do that for me, annie," his smile is gentle and tired as he steps slowly into the room, wary of what might UPSET her. nonetheless, he’s speaking with a fellow victor; gale’s pretty certain that he’s lost half his mind, as well. he drops himself onto the foot of the unoccupied hospital bed, elbows resting against his knees. 

"what else have you stitched up?"

[fandomfluffandfuck]

so you've posted a lot about måneskin and other bands of the like but im just wondering - do you have any playlists you'd like to share? like, ones with songs you like or maybe a playlist you listen to while you write. i think it would be interesting seeing what you like to listen to with somewhat of a face to connect your music taste to?? (you're really pretty, by the way) 🫶

I think you'll like this ask

I fucking love love love music so I do post quite a bit about it, lol. Plus, I have thought about doing something like what @ixalit did with sharing all his playlists (that are *chef's kiss,* by the way. I have discovered many songs through those playlists 👀) but my Spotify, that I've had for years, is connected to my actual name that I'm not willing to share on Tumblr with this type of fandom account, lol.

I know I could make another account and transfer my playlists to a fandom specific account, but... that's a lot of work. I don't know if I'll do that, lol. If enough people were interested... maybe?

Besides, I don't really have a single playlist I write to. I just throw on whatever and write. Sometimes, I seek out specifically explicit music when I'm writing smut but usually not. Usually, it's whatever that I was playing the last time I had the app open or whatever I'm feeling that day.

And my music taste is a mess haha, I'm all over the fucking place with music. I think if I had to pin it down, my musical soft spot has always been for heavier sounds. Aggressive, heavy shit like all types of metal, rock, and punk have always appealed to me; they're the sounds I always fall back on. That said, though, I also love all types of other sounds, too. Hip hop, indie, jazz, industrial pop, electronic, etc.

Bands, though, yeah. Goddamn, I love bands! I also follow a ton of individual artists, but there's something about bands.

For my own enjoyment, and hopefully yours as well, some good bands (in no particular order):

Måneskin ("TIMEZONE" gives me major evanstan vibes btw 👀 / "SUPERMODEL" is kind of always stuck in my stuck in my head / "MAMMAMIA" is just 🤌🏻Damiano's moans🤌🏻 so you know it's good)

Fall Out Boy (I'm not even being funny when I say I can't narrow it down to a few songs to recommend. I know their entire discography by heart and have been obsessed since I discovered them. They hold a VERY special place in my heart. If I don't know what I want to listen to, I throw them on. If I need comfort, if I need to wallow in feelings, if I need to celebrate--anything.)

Sleep Token (This band FUCKS and turns on my writers brain in the best way (re: "Take Me Back To Eden") / be careful listening to "Blood Sport" because it's devastating / the music video for "Alkaline" will change you 😮‍💨 / and "Sugar" is way too good)

Royal Blood (I think "Lights Out" was the first song I heard from them, and it still holds up / "Blood Hands" is super good too / also "Honey Brains")

The Damned Things ("Keep Crawling" shouldn't be spicy, but it kinda is to me 😮‍💨 / "Something Good")

Halestorm (oh my god, all of their stuff! Lzzy's voice is unreal! "The Steeple" / "Black Vultuers")

Mother Mother (Again, a band that I know their entire discography by heart. A friend bought me one of their CDs before I knew them, and I've been obsessed since listening through the CD the first time. "Life" is comfort food for your ears, as is "It's Alright." Those songs make me cry or scream, depending on my mood, going into the listen)

Nine Inch Nails (NIN f u c k s . "Head Like A Hole" / "The Hand That Feeds")

Waterparks (I've been listening since Double Dare, their first album, and its been wild to watch them grow. I've gotten too many friends hooked on them too, lmao. "Turbulent" / "Dizzy" / "SELF-SABOTAGE")

YONAKA ("Guilty" makes me want to weep / "Punch Bag" is so good)

Muse ("We Are Fucking Fucked" has been my anthem since it dropped lol / "Won't Stand Down" puts me in my Bucky feelings as does "Psycho," "(Drill Sargeant)," and "Dead Inside")

(Thank you <3)