#im complaining but truly they are my comfort creators and its such a rock for me | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

sea-buns · 8 days ago

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I know it's like a very minor issue in the grand scheme of things but I've been working about a month and have immediately lost most of my income to sudden cat health issues that remain unresolved and I still need to have enough to refill my own meds and get car insurance

and so hearing in the most recent SSS vod that they won't be restocking the classic shirt prints once they sell out is really bumming me out in unexpected ways

I was like yay! I can finally invest in merch from my favorite creators! I love these designs so much! And now instead it's like what are the odds they'll still be available in my size by friday or that I'll even be able to spare enough if they do cuz my cat would prolly be dead if I didn't have this job

I think it just feels worse than it is cuz of the depression I've been having to fist fight lately. Which is normal. It's normal to wanna cry when shits been hard and you can't afford a shirt you've been wanting for years. Doesn't make it any less of a bummer tho

#hhhhhh #this aint even the half of it lol #i will say idk if its possible for depressive episodes to last several years but fuck it sure felt like it #and then i start working and my job is great and ive got a debit card and i feel happier than ive ever remembered being #first paycheck? cat is immediately critically ill. she comes home. she has to go back exactly a week later #im still paying off the first overnight. she might need a fucking biopsy and shes not even strong enough for that #forget how much that would even cost. forget the cost in general just the thought of the act makes me sick #so yknow. its just lots of big stuff and then the tiniest little thing. a material good that doesnt truly matter and im suddenly a mess lol #i have been watching lots of drawfee and sss stuff lately. todays been mostly sss #im complaining but truly they are my comfort creators and its such a rock for me #not gonna tag this in fandom cuz its so much vent lol #leave it to me to vent abt personal shit with majority of the details in the damn tags lmao #sea rambles #vent #personal

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