#im coherent im not doing this out of raw emotion. im devoted to it. im determined to step on her and watch her die

[strwbrymlkshake]

im the sleepiest guy in the world rn gn yangang I will talk to you tomorrow <3

[oatflatwhite]

Okay im gonna try my best to keep this as short as I can but that hospital scene. There is. So much. To unpack. The feels are off the roof right now so I'm gonna try to be as coherent as possible. I've seen this take a lot on tumblr that the shooting was Eddie's "oh" moment in regards to his feelings for buck and I have to say-even though it migh it be completely bullshit in the end- I 100% agree.(there's also those few moments before buck comes in where we see eddie deep in thought It just makes so much sense for him him get it now) so Eddie diaz repressed idiot we know him this is who he is he doesn't show his feelings often (except with his eyes he does a whole fucking musical number with his eyes but thats another story) he keeps his emotions in check always and Christopher's custody is not a small matter to keep to yourself and yet he didn't say anything for a year a whole YEAR and then as soon as he saw how easily buck dismissed his own life and value he instantly sat him down and told him the MOMENT he realized how little regard buck has for his own safety. And for Eddie words don't come easy we KNOW this, talking about his emotions is the equivalent of chewing rocks he doesn't do it and yet there he is Eddie diaz stripped naked before his partner giving him his CHILD (their child) the ONLY thing he treasures in the wolrd above all else he trust Chris with BUCK and he's NERVOUS ( his body language during this scene is another journey all together but-) he went to his lawyer a whole YEAR before and was sure even then that buck would do it that he wouldn't say no he trusted him completely WITH HIS SON. the raw devotion of this is enough to drive me mad. The way Eddie loves him is so stubborn and steady and FIERCE he's so SURE about this it's insane absolutely insane what they did in that scene. The layers it had- just- incredible and I don't know if they'll be canon or not but my God this is a love story if I've ever seen one. I'm sorry about this mini essay but there was so much there to scream about

"The way Eddie loves him is so stubborn and steady and FIERCE he's so SURE about this it's insane absolutely insane"

^^ yup. yup yup YUP.

there's honestly nothing else i can add to this because i 100% agree. like? what did they think was going to happen? we would simply accept one queer-coded man platonically giving custody of his only child in the event of his death to his queer-coded bestie? what are we? what are we supposed to do with that?

and this has been pointed out before but like. the physical distance between them in this scene when they are usually?? so close together?? almost as if they HAD to impose some kind of visible barrier between them because the emotional wall was finally and fully washed away?

and like. we've seen how eddie handles emotional conversations in his life. the answer is not well. every one with shannon was a trainwreck. the break-up with ana? fucking disaster. yet talking to buck about anything, everything – the pollen count, their job, his will – is so effortless. so easy, for eddie. almost as if?? the universe is screaming at him???