#im busy cleaning our rotting home and scaring the bugs out | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

manta-is-yelling · 1 year ago

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It's really frustrating to be trying really really hard and feel like you're doing the equivalent of paddling in place- even though you should be moving forward-

but the other person is not seeking out resources for how to paddle, or manage their part of the kayak, and you're starting to sink because of it.

And like, you know, if you're feeling the water on your ass, and you're at the front, they've gotta be up to their waist or more in it. But you're busy keeping things sort of okay, you can't check in on them. So you only feel that you're getting wetter than you should be, and going nowhere, and they're struggling. And it's your problem- because you're in the same fucking boat- but they won't take your help. They won't listen. They half hear the directions. They can't help it.

But after a while, it's so. Fucking. Frustrating. And it feels like it'd be easier, despite having made it so far, to swim back to shore alone, and try crossing again.

#Please help me #I'm literally exhausted #i want to be asleep #he woke me up absentmindedly and it was just the proverbial straw.#If I dont sleep I can seize #I have worked so hard for tools to manage my illnesses #Im not at all perfect and I need a lot of help #but its so hard to manage chronic problems and beg the other person to manage theirs #p l e a se #I was sick for over a month #I missed out on christmas time #ATLEAST TRY #AND STOP TRYING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME AS SOON AS IM UP AND AROUND AGAIN #im busy cleaning our rotting home and scaring the bugs out #vent #frustrated #I couldve been spared literal physical pain if you had been paying attention to where you placed my meds #and then you watched a football game ibstead of helping me search

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