#im back to uh cause myself and others harm through analysis

[willgrahamscock]

Nightingales in literature can symbolize so much, which is why I think 'A Nightingale Sang In Berkeley Square' isn't just Crowley & Aziraphale's song. It's repeatedly presented to us in little easter eggs or outright such as Crowley telling Aziraphale that there are no nightingales singing. This of course is a reference to the song at the end of the novel, they dined together at the Ritz and a Nightingale sang for the first time in Berkeley Square.

Nightingales symbolize love, their song is described as 'The Voice of God' In folklore, it is seen as a messenger between the divine and the human world, which means Nightingales connect Aziraphale and Crowley in a very significant way, two divine beings on earth falling in love. We can take this to mean that "No Nightingales" is Crowley telling Aziraphale that he's cutting off their connection if he goes to heaven.

In the Bible it represents a faithfulness to God, the Nightingale singing is a sign of hope during times of despair.

So, "You hear that?" ... "I don't hear anything." "That's the point. No Nightingales."

No hope.

[ranvwoop]

TALK ABOUT AMERICAN HEALTHCARE I HAVE AN IDEA OF WHY IT'S THERE BUT I WANNA HEAR THE EXPLANATION ALSO THE ONLY HOUSE THAT"S NOT ON FIRE (YET) FOR THE SAME REASON I JUST WANNA SEE THE ANALYSIS:TM: IF U WANT I WANNA SEE IF I GOT IT RIGHT :D

Hi :DDD. Thank u for asking,,,, I have many thoughts. I am sorry in advance. This is one of those things I will put under a readmore because I am into rambling. IT GOT A LOT LONGER THAN ANTICIPATED IM SORRY. Like. a lot. It was 4 pages in google docs because i dont trust tumblr to save my drafts

Okay a lot of my Ranboo thoughts are about the syndicate / boreal trio / peerpressure duo. But you’re probably aware I am a Them enthusiast first and both a dsmp enjoyer and person second. Because. I really like the syndicate. I also don’t have too too many thoughts on the more recent lore past the experiments. Once the in character monologues stopped, so did my brain. I communicate through monologue to monologue communication.

American Healthcare is actually gonna be the main reason why this is so long bc it works Very Much for like three different reasons. One sorta niche and abstracter reason is a stream that was basically never elaborated on back in March, either the day after or very close to the peerpressure Egg confrontation stream. The egg called him a coward (for some reason my brain can Only come up with the “stop saying i look like chicken little. he’s dumb, and a coward, and i am NOT a coward” vine), and he is not a coward, so he decided to make an action plan to bring the server together by acting as a mediator for all parties and try to make sure that everyone is happy, because he’s the only one that can see all sides, or something. This was where he said the big happy family™ line but other than Ranboo Become Dream?? analysis nothing else really happened and everything went along as normal.

(I also always held a little bit of suspicion on this stream actually and thought it might be the influence of the egg, because it says it can give one whatever they want, and ranboo wants to make everyone happy and this was a totally foolproof way of doing that. Sort of in a similar way that BBH is convinced that his plan will totally make Skeppy happy. But also Ranboo is just like that, but this felt a little more on the nose than usual and he did fall into the egg and made his decisions after being egged on by it, buT WE’LL NEVER KNOW, WILL WE?

… also I really wanted to see more egg conflict at the time. Peerpressure rlly got involved in the egg plot for cameos at the banquet and nothing else. I do not blame anyone and respect the ccs for all of their attempts to weave plots together but also. also…. we.. we coulda had so much…)

That was a little off topic from the point, but… he really just thinks he can save the sick… he can see that everyone on the server is unwell and is wrong but, y’know, look inwardly, the unwell is coming from inside the house. And an inherent problem of the way that the server runs. And if this is still lowkey in effect or not (idk man a) ranboo has monologued a lot I simply chose a one off from march to grow emotionally attached to and b) i think that my brain has shut off once ranboo stopped solo lore streams), it would probably go the way that most choosing to change the system from the inside goes. Which is the point of the song and stuff! He will inevitably decide what’s too far, whether he will either admit it’s a choice or just feel that it’s what he has to do. The, uh, dealing with the devil, to be polite.

in conclusion (but we are not close to done here i’m holding you for a bit longer), i think a lot about that stream and i think that shows what he wants to be, at the very least, and continuing down that path would definitely go into being far more trouble than just a noble goal of wanting to help people, from negotiating with corruption (The lobbyists, the Congressmen and lies bit) and that the server can’t really be brought together and saved like that (When things are more and more this way / Sometimes it's like they'd rather die)

THE LESS. vwoop why have you written an unnecessarily long post about one stream in your playlist character analysis reason is both more literal and piece by piece and also Syndicate, My Beloved, you know the drill. We are going line by line because I have a lot of feelings about American Healthcare, apparently.

This also comes back to that everyone on the server is doing Really Badly, all of the time, but mostly his time in L’Manburg. For one, he is pretty complacent in everything and doesn’t really accomplish much in terms of actual change, so like Well people die every day / I wouldn't have it any other way / I just think they should feel good while they are alive. An example of this is Exiled Tommy — who I’d also metaphorically put as the dead man just for funsies, since Tommy’s whole exile thing was one of the first things Ranboo experienced on the server—as he did try to be friends with Tommy and keep him company with his letters, but he still has no power over the actual issue at hand. Just trying to make it a bit more bearable. Similarly is Techno, while Ranboo still participated in the butcher army that was trying to kill him, he helped in the meantime until he “died”.

And then it’s the Realization that participating in the system doesn’t really help much, and the subsequent Everything. It could be getting mad at the whole government system and that he didn’t mean to contribute to the harm, or how he fought with Fundy using hs ideology but not in the way that Ranboo thought. It could also be standing up to his hallucination Dream, in that he doesn’t try this hard to be a good person just to be accused of helping with all of the things that he may or may not have helped with. (That is… a discussion for not right now, I don’t know.) And I think this sort of area is also where it’s like they’d rather die is also relevant, cause Doomsday. Nobody could just set aside their governments and just get along, though Ranboo had his own solution to fighting and things.

And then he joins the Syndicate! And the lyrics of the song are directly Government Bad, because government bad. Canon anarchist, has done things that he’s not proud of as a part of the government. The lines it was the government / … It got louder over the years / Until all that I could hear was flies and all.

But honestly I think in the Syndicate he’s still trying to “save the sick”! Because the Syndicate don’t All fit eye to eye either. He’s the token pacifist, and a vote against violence whenever it comes down to it. Not all anarchists are violent but Techno and Phil will probably react strongly when provoked, due to All the past events, and I live in a world where their trauma and issues get talked about as much as everyone else’s. Since everything is decided by vote it’d probably be split between them and Ranboo + Niki, who is in her healing/no longer resorting to murder arc. He’ll help them negotiate and then everything will Be Okay, ideally.

(Also I just like the idea of Ranboo believing that he is helping the people he’s living with because canonically cc!Ranboo has said he just really cares about his family and the syndicate are included in his family shut up but they also just believe they’re helping him and yes it’s self indulgent. I care them. Particularly Endduo, actually, or whatever they're called, I am not bold enough to think Ranboo looks at Techno and thinks I Can Fix Him, but. Philza Minecraft will one day talk about his feelings. One day.)

There’s also radioduo and beeduo as of recent— really I’m just saying I think that Ranboo constantly has a Need To Help People, believes he can do it, and it will come back to hurt him in the end (except for the Syndicate because I’m in denial. The Syndicate can’t fall out if they never stream together :) ).

THIS CONCLUDES THE AMERICAN HEALTHCARE PORTION OF OUR SHOW.

The Only House That’s Not on Fire Yet !! I like this one. This is also blatantly there cause Syndicate. They are the only faction that is not actively falling apart, and this could absolutely be because they never stream together. But I do not care. However we are also going to go through this one piece by piece because we’re nearing 1500 words here and I might as well embarrass myself more. I am writing an incredibly informal essay about Ranboo My _Beloved (i assume his middle name is My, and he’s just one of those people who write his full full name) and this is the third page. If you’re still reading this, I’m sorry. Here we go.

There are lines that just seem like an unwell but recovering person, and I like to sort of think that way about Ranboo in the arctic during the down time. “I feel knotted up today / But in a most exquisite way” and “I feel strangely regular / But honestly I prefer it to / The usual bizarre” are just! He’s just hanging out. He’s doing good. There is the acknowledgement that he’s usually not doing well, and all of the episodes that he’s had in the past, and it’s probably strange to be doing well in the midst of everything, and there’s probably something impending, but now? He’s doing good!

The verses directly after both of those ones are about uncertainty and trust and such, and I feel like that’s not necessarily about just One relationship but all of them. Will cause problems as long as he has an accomplice. He is not confident but he trusts and loves people.

“This suit doesn’t fit me / I made it conterfeitly” I just like to think about Ranboo in his fancy suit, but it’s just a little wrong because he actually has no idea what he’s doing. I also like to think about Ranboo in a cape to fit in with boreal trio and later the syndicate, and emerald duo had matchy blue outfits from the Antarctic Empire… and trying to fit in with them…. or maybe They make him something.. You know. Much to think about.

“Killing me with déjà vu” I think is like. A little less fun, because despite how well things are going, the enderwalk is still not resolved and he had even less answers when I started thinking “this is a ranboo song”. Just as it relates to having a strange sense of reality and stuff, which goes into specifics of enderwalk headcanons, which would make this far longer. Even though I’ve framed it as a negative, there is also the more positive note of “Oh! I just thought of how to change all the hate / Into love with the old switcheroo / Dancing in my déjà vu / You'll be dancing too” which I’d rather explain broken up but I feel like as it’s a full verse it should be together. The first part is connected to my general thoughts of him explained earlier tbh, he’s trying Very Hard to make everyone happy and fix things. And adding the second part to it is just like! He is trying to make sense of everything, and it’s not so scary as time goes by. Since the experiments where he’s been (questionably) trying to be more comfortable and get more answers.

This was very long. I am sorry. I am ending it here and probably not going to do much formatting to make it readable because it is very late o’clock and also this is four pages and 2000 words I am so sorry. But if you read this far then. Uhhh thank. ^v^.

[just-an-anxious-mess]

Two-Faced (Part 2)

Part 1

Trigger Warning: mentions of suicide, self harm, blood, panic attacks, angst

I looked over at Deciet and mumbled "I think he's fallen asleep."

"Well don't wake him, he might bite us if we do." Roman commented from beside me and I shook my head.

"Should we leave him here or try and get him back to his room?" Patton asked and I shrugged.

I turned to Deciet and decided to wake up him up so he could go to his room if he was tired. "Deciet?" I asked and nudged him.

He didn't respond and I narrowed my eyes. He was usually a light sleeper, unless he'd changed so much since we were on good terms that his sleeping situation was different.

I leant over and tapped him and still got no response.

"Deciet! Wake up!" Roman shouted and I jumped in surprise.

"What the hell Roman?" I asked in annoyance and turned to see if Deciet was glaring at him only to find he hadn't woken up.

"Uh guys, not to live up to my name of anxiety or anything but somethings not right here. Deciet used to be a really light sleeper." I said, worried now.

Patton stood up and walked over, having extracted himself from Logan who looked annoyed at having their cuddle interrupted.

"Deciet?" Patton said and gently pushed the snake faced trait and got no response.

I pulled Deciet towards me and his head flopped to the side limply so the non scaled half of his face was now visible.

"Holy shit is that blood?" I exclaimed as I noticed the red trailing down from the corner of Deciets mouth.

Patton gasped and shook Deciet which did nothing but make his head flop uselessly.

Logan quickly went into analysis mode and said "Someone lay him on his side so he doesn't choke on his own blood, I need a little more time to figure out what's happened."

We did as Logan said and backed away as he began to search for the source of the blood.

"He seems to have bitten his tongue but the only possible explanations for that would be something akin to unbearable pain which he was attempting to hide. Obviously whatever caused him to bite his tongue hard enough for it to bleed like this, is also the same thing rendering him unconscious."

Logan pressed his fingers to Deciets neck and his eyes widened, causing me to ask "What is it?"

"His pulse is still there but it's slow and sluggish, not a good sign. My best guess is that he's ingested something he shouldn't have. That would explain the unconsciousness, the presumable pain that caused him to bite through his tongue and his dangerously slow heartbeat."

"He was in the kitchen looking for something to eat when I encountered him earlier, he seemed a bit off and he's been acting slightly differently today." Patton said with his eyes locked onto Deciets still form.

I frowned and tried to recall anything I noticed that could help Logan figure out what was going on.

"As the third film began his eyes looked slightly glazed over and I thought he looked a bit out of it but then he snapped at me." I said, unsure exactly how that could help.

"Patton, go to Deciets room and see if whatever he ingested is in there, Roman go to my room and grab the medical bag from under the desk and Virgil you can help me keep an eye on Deciets pulse." Logan ordered.

The other two ran from the room as I knelt next to the couch where Deciet was and put my fingers against his neck to check his pulse.

There was a slow feeble beat and before I knew it there were tears rolling down my face. I'd hated Deciet for years because of how much he'd messed with my mind and told me the others hated me but, as Deciet himself had pointed out, he was the only person I used to be able to go to.

He was there for me when I had my panic attacks, he explained how things worked in the mindspace when no one else would and he was right when he said I went crawling back to him.

When I decided to duck out I'd gone to Deciet, telling him how he'd been right about the others not accepting me and he'd sighed and given me a hug, telling me that he did try to warn me.

If it hadn't been for the others tripping the alarm I'd set up just in case someone was in my room, I wouldn't have noticed they were in my room. I would have just spent the day with Deciet.

I frowned as I suddenly remembered something. That day when I'd gone to Deciet, I'd found him in the inactive part of Thomas's mind, hence why I stopped effecting Thomas.

The thing was I had no idea why Deciet was in there at the time. He'd seemed tired or something and I was sure I remembered him wincing when I hugged him.

I was drawn out of my thoughts by the sound of feet running into the room.

"He.... He....." Patton panted, waving something around in his hand as he tried to speak.

Logan got to his feet and took the object from Patton with a small frown.

It was as Roman came in that I put everything together and exclaimed "He did it on purpose."

Logan wasted no time in grabbed the medical bag from Roman and grabbing things I had no name for.

I barely paid attention to what he was doing as I struggled to understand why Deciet would do this. He always seemed so unaffected by everything, from Romans insults to when he used to hiss abuse at me.

"If you're squeamish look away." Logan said as he began feeding a strange looking tube thing down Deciets throat. "I'm trying to get the medication out of his system by pumping his stomach, it is not a guaranteed solution as it's usually preferable if this procedure is done within the first 4 hours of a person ingesting something but it's the only option we have."

I got to my feet and turned away, unable to watch what was going on.

A pair of arms wrapped around me, pulling me into someone's chest but for once I didn't resist, instead I slumped into them and sobbed.

A hand was rubbing my back and a quiet voice whispered "It's alright, Logan will save him. Everythings OK."

Roman was trying to make me feel better but I knew everything was far from OK. I didn't say that though, I just continued to sob into his chest.

After a while Logan let out a sigh and I pulled away from Roman to see why.

"I've done all I can, all we can do is wait for him to wake up and see if it's caused any lasting damage."

"How long will it take for him to wake up?" I asked and Logan sent me a sad smile.

"Anywhere between an hour from now or even days. That is if he wakes up at all. There's always the chance I was too late and... We'll just have to see what happens."

Patton, who'd been incredibly quiet the whole time, let out a small sob and whispered "This is my fault. If I'd just picked up on his feelings better I could have stopped this."

Logan pulled Patton in for a hug, trying to comfort him but Patton continued. "I could have done something today, I knew something had changed yet I told myself it was probably not too important. I only ended up talking to him because I couldn't sleep without knowing what had changed. What would have happened if I hadn't?"

I shuddered at that thought, tears running down my face as I looked at Deciets unconscious form. All those times he used to tell me I was unwanted, unloved by the others, it was all just a big front to hide the fact that's how he felt about himself.

I felt helpless knowing I couldn't do anything but wait. I took a deep breath and said "I'll sit with him while you guys sleep, just in case."

"Virgil you need to sleep too." Roman immediately protested and before I could argue back Logan spoke up.

"We'll take it in turns for however many nights it takes for him to either wake up or...." Logan quickly cleared his throat and continued "Virgil can do it tonight if he so wishes."

Roman sighed "Fine, but you have to sleep tomorrow night."

I nodded and sat on the floor next to the couch where Deciet still lay. Logan escorted Patton out, whispering words of what I assumed to be comfort and reassurance.

Roman hovered slightly for a few seconds then shook his head with another sigh and walked out, leaving me all alone with the unconscious form of Deciet.

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