#im aware its irrational. i know you guys were like idk five or whatever ten years ago. i get that. it doesnt help!!!
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idk how to describe watching, in real time, the xm/en movies revival in 2024 lmfao. they were, literally until like last year, regarded almost universally as trash. and everyone who liked them, liked trash. i watched the first movie in the fucking cinema. hugh's logan has been my favourite character in all of the movies since i saw the first king of the cage match. i think he shaped everything that was important to me about men tbqh. and he, and the entire franchise, was regarded as like... Inferior in every way. and it really only got worse after the m/cu kickstarted. i have no words to watch what is happening right in front of my eyes. i'm amused and delighted but also like... deeply upset or hurt that all along the things i loved had worth, but it's so late. it's so late. i spent so long apologising for the things i cared about. this revival doesnt do anything to remove the decades of hurt that comes from that. and it somehow makes it worse, because i was right all along. does that make me insane
#i both can't help engaging in it and also every time i do i feel so deeply angry#WHERE WERE ALL OF YOU FIVE YEARS AGO. TEN YEARS AGO.#why did i spend 24 years not just by myself but actively mocked for this#im aware its irrational. i know you guys were like idk five or whatever ten years ago. i get that. it doesnt help!!!#i cried like a fucking baby at the credits scene because there were so many clips there i'd never seen before. and it felt like they loved#the project like i loved it. i feel like i'm GRIEVING but i don't know what for.#like i know you guys are gonna think im overreacting but thats bc you dont know this about me. xm/en was my main fandom for /24 years/.#i watched. EVERY movie. EVERY series. EVERY interview. i wrote fanfics i had rpg groups. i'm only 30. this meant /so much to me/.#anyway#tbd
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