#im at hostel so she can't see what im doing

[ellsellmesoull]

My mom says months of hard work and sleep deprivation is a lie because I spent the holidays sleeping and chatting with friends

[bibliophile-dendrophile]

I've been lying awake on my bed for the last three hours. It seems that sleep decided to ignore me today. In fact, I haven't been able to sleep for quite a few days.

I slip into my jacket and sneak out of my hostel room. I jump over the wall and let my feet decide where to go. Tomorrow is Sunday. The college authorities would assume I had gone to see my parents. Or they wouldn't even notice I was gone. They would most probably think I was in my room, locked up as always.

I walk along the dark streets. After a while, I slow down. This path seems familiar. Then I spot the apartment and come to a complete halt. So this is where my feet led me. It's where she lives. A thousand memories flood in my mind. I realize I even have the spare key to her flat in this very jacket. I smile to myself. My subconscious knows me well.

I climb the staircase to the first floor and knock on her door. I wait a few seconds but there is no response. She must be sleeping. So I open the door with the spare key and step inside. I make my way to her bedroom. Somewhere a voice in my head is screaming that it is not proper to enter someone's bedroom without their permission but I quiet down the voice by justifying that neither is entering their house but I already did it. So I might as well do this, too.

As I expected, she's sleeping. I walk over to the bed opposite to hers and sit down. Then I look at her. Oh, her face looks so peaceful. Seeing her face now makes me realize how much pain and burden she's carrying. Bit right now, she looks like an innocent little girl. I have the sudden urge to kiss her. But I don't. I need to tell her about my feelings. Tell her that I love her. It took me so long to realize that fact. I put her through so much of pain I don't even know if she still loves me. I really hope she does.

Im still staring at her when I realize with a start that she's wearing nothing but a camisole and a pair of shorts. At the sight of her cleavage, I remember the time we spent up on my terrace. I feel myself harden at the memory. I have to restrain myself from pulling her into my arms. I quickly find a blanket and put it on her. If I was hoping that covering her body would stop my thoughts, I was wrong. Because I still want to invade her personal space. To run my hands all over her body. To press my lips to hers. To kiss-

I am pulled out of my reverie when I hear her make a pained sound. Suddenly, her face contorts. She looks like she's in agony. She having a nightmare. I quickly go into the kitchen to bring her a glass of water. By the time I come back to the bedroom, she is up. She has her head in her hands and her body is shaking. I go to her and gently rub her back. She startles and turns back. When she sees it's me, her body relaxes immediately. I smile.

"Hey. Bad dream?"

I pass her the glass of water and she takes it with a nod. She gulps and then asks,

"How come you're here in the middle of the night?"

Her voice has a tone I can't quite place. I say,

"Couldn't sleep."

She smiles but it looks sad and I don't know why. What if she doesn't want me here? I start feeling anxious but then she says,

"I'm glad you consider my place as somewhere you can go when you can't sleep."

Then she really smiles and just like that, my anxiety's gone.

"Let's watch a movie?" she asks.

I'm not interested but I find myself nodding anyways, "Sure."

She goes out of the room to fetch her laptop and when she returns, she's wearing a robe. I am disappointed.

She lays on her stomach, her hair tied up to make a messy bun and she scrolls through her laptop. She looks so goddamn sexy. I'm staring at her when she suddenly turns to me. I quickly look away and pretend to read the names of the movies on her laptop screen. She says,

"Well?"

"Well, what?"

"Shall we watch that movie?"

I realize that the cursor is pointed at a movie called 'A Wrinkle in Time' and she's asking if I'd like to watch that.

"Yeah. Yeah, sure." I quickly say.

Around halfway through the movie, I drift off.

By the time I wake up, faint light is coming through the windows, so I know it's early in the morning. I'm about to move but I realize with a start that what I assumed to be a pillow under my head is her lap. I have a blanket on me and her hand is resting on my back. I must've fallen asleep like this. What makes me happy is that she didn't move away. She let me sleep on her lap. I want to do a happy dance.

I notice that her eyes are closed and her breathing is even. She's asleep. I don't want to wake her up, so I stay there. I don't move an inch. I could stay there forever if she wanted me to. If she let me.

After an hour or two, she stirs. I close my eyes impulsively. She slowly moves away but takes a pillow and rests my head on it. The weight on the bed shifts, so I know she's climbed off it. I'm thinking she's going to go out of the room when she plants a gentle kiss on my cheek and whispers,

"Sweet dreams, darling."

I take a sharp breath. My heart is pounding. I'm scared that she noticed but a gentle click on the door tells me she's gone. I lay there, my eyes wide open, for what feels like an eternity. She stopped calling me darling since our situationship ended. Even during that, she only ever used it while we were chatting. She never said that to my face. I love it. But the question is, does this mean she still loves me? There's only one way to find out.

I find her sitting in the balcony with a cup of coffee. She looking at the view outside. She looks beautiful.

"Laya?"

She turns at the sound of my voice and smiles, "Slept well?"

"Yeah."

She smiles again. I don't return it. Her smile falls. She's looking at me like she's trying to read me. She knows something is up. She always knows. I take a deep breath.

"I love you, Laya."

I carefully watch her reaction. She looks bewildered and just shakes her head. She thinks I'm kidding.

"I'm serious, you know."

Her eyes fill with unshed tears. She tries to stop them from falling. And for a minute, she looks actually angry.

"Don't- don't say stuff you don't mean."

The words are just a whisper. Then it all makes sense to me. She's scared. She thinks it's some sort of cruel joke the universe is playing on her. She's scared that her heart will be broken again. She has to know that I'll never let that happen. Never.

I step closer to her and I say,

"Look at me. Do you think I'm lying?"

Then she looks me in the eye. And she breaks. She starts shaking. She sobs. I put my arms around her and hold her tightly. She clutches at my shirt. She's like a little kid right now.

"Don't cry, akachan. It's gonna be alright."

We stay like that for a long time. Then, she finally says,

"So, I'm your akachan again?"

I laugh, "Yeah, but you'll have to call me daddy, though."

She laughs. Her laugh holds lot of happiness and joy. But most importantly, it holds hope. But this time, I have hope in me, too.

"Kiss me, daddy," she says.

And I gladly do.

[iftitah]

where are u bb did u sleep all day or catch up with friends and bcg all day or study all day why do i know nothing about your day this is unacceptable and homophobic

you're asking about my day after ages so okay i arr8ved hostel at 8:15 the train was running late it was scheduled for 6:50 and the station was so fucking huge to walk out with our heavy suitcases omg and then we had classes from 9 am so everything was not slow motion love potion actually very opposite then i had 11 to 1 free but i had clothes to wash and this girl called for gossiping and she won't cut off call then i had osteology practicals and the professor is literally so hot you wouldn't believe ive never been attracted to teachers but damn he's so railable yk then we fucking had to shift hostels because we were living in post graduate girls hostel until now so now we had to rush and pack and carry all our stuff to the other hostel for which a bus came in two rounds and then we reached this new room and we arranged it. we as in three of us now in a room it's a little small to accommodate and we hate it as well but okay. then because of shifting we were allowed to roam free in campus late which we can't because hostel timings are 6 pm so we were taking a walk and bcg came and damn im sorry for my language father forgive me for the sins ive wanted to commit and thoughts thunk but he looked so fucking hot like so smexy words aren't enough he has never looked this perfect under nightlights and moon right above him omg omg thank god for the long fucking tiring day because at the end i get to see him and it's enough remedy wow i sound so cringe but obviously im in my cringe girl era what can you do about it and so now we're almost arranged properly in room and im writing this. today felt like two weeks together anyways ive such a busy day tomorrow i won't have enough sleep but let's see also what about you how are you lady twinkle what's up tell me about your day

[thedragonemperess]

Mmmm alright so tonight I'm gonna start with the first of the nmt retellings, this time starting with ep 2, pt 1, Forever and Always. Plus, this should be good practice for s2, since im doing a synopsis for a bunch of other people. Side note, all these stories take place in 2019, whereas the two musicals were both 2018

We open on Paul and Emma's wedding. Hidgens is officiating, and we see a crowd of familiar faces in the audience, except for Sylvia, (played by Kim Whalen) who we later learn works at ccrp on the top floor, and is Bill's new gf.

Paul reads his vows, and then emma starts to read hers before she's interrupted by the Homeless Guy (remember him from tgwdlm and bf? He's gonna become important later) He runs in and yells at emma, accusing her of being a liar, and not the real emma ("you think I don't *know*? You think I don't *remember*? I've seen the plans! You aren't Emma perkins!!) He's quickly escorted out of the venue by tom, but emma is shaken and runs out.

Paul runs after her and finds her crying on a bench. He tries to comfort her but it looks like she's about to call off the wedding, but decides to make a confession to paul.

She explains that she is not emma perkins, and she never was (hey the homeless guy was right go figure) She explains that a few years ago on a backpacking trip in guatemala, she and emma were on a bus, there was an accident and she is the only survivor. They two were staying at the same hostel, and when she got back, emma's phone rang, and fake emma answered it. The call was from tom, in tears bc jane had just died, and inviting emma to the funeral, and she doesn't know why, but fake emma goes to the funeral, and she looks so much like emma that everyone just accepted her(or it had just been so long since anyone had seen emma)

Paul has a bit of an existential crisis about his new wife before deciding "eh screw it, this is the woman i fell in love with who cares if shes not the real emma perkins" and finishes marrying her. Throughout this whole conversation, nick lang is smirking like a lil shit and that can mean nothing good for anyone

We flash over to after their honeymoon and paul is back at work. After a conversation with bill, where we learn that the reason bill divorced his wife is bc she left him for her old college bf, allan. no one likes her 🔪🔪

Paul decides to go get some coffee from the java cafe (not beanies, hes married to emma now and their coffee is terrible and he doesnt like corporate chains) and runs into emma, whos beelining down main street looking pretty frazzled. He tries to greet her with a kiss, but she's freaked out and calls him a pervert, acting like she doesn't know him. After a bit of a scene, paul, albiet confused, backs off and walks away.

Later that evening, paul demands to know why emma was pretending to not know him earlier and called him a pervert. Emma freaks out upon hearing this and goes to grab one of the knives and heads out, with clearly aggressive intentions. Before leaving though, Emma lets us know Paul is a gamer. I still don't know what to do with this information.

Barely 10 minutes have passed and emma is back, demanding to know why people think she works at beanies and that they're married. In case you can't tell, there are two emmas, and for simplicity sake, I'm gonna call the one who married paul emma m, for emma matthews, and the confused one emma p.

Anyways, emma p leads paul to the birdhouse, hatchetfields pub and music venue. emma p explains her side of the guatemala story, which is much different than emma m's version.

Emma p describes how shes on a bus with 30 people and 20 chickens, and the driver is making crazy sharp turns and misses one, killing everyone besides emma p and a few chickens. By the time she gets back to the hostel, all her stuff is gone, and she only got back to hatchetfield a few days ago, since amongst the stuff stolen was her passport and birth certificate, making it much harder to get back home. She also lements how this emma is living her life, and doing it all wrong by getting her married, loudly insisting that she's never getting married.

Paul, confused and tipsy, heads to the bathroom. As soon as she leaves, a knife is poked on the small of her back and she finds emma m, who leads her towards the exit. Emma p tries to plead with the emma with the knife to let her go, but is interuppted by some gross biker who tries to make an advance on both women. Emma p, sensing an escape, tries to throw herself at this guy, figuring her chances with the creep are better than her knife wielding dopleganger. when the guy notices the knife emma m has, he tries to threaten her with his own switch blade, but emma m just looks tired more than anything else, leading to a fight in the bar with the other bikers in this guys gang, with emma m quickly painting the walls of the pub red with blood, quickly determining she can't leave any witnesses alive.

Once everyone else is killed, emma m reveals that she's the one who cut the brakes, intending for emma p to die (shocker i know) before p remembers paul is still in the bathroom (how he didn't hear any of that and stayed in the bathroom the whole time is beyond me but whatever) and calls out to him.

While emma m's distracted by pauls arrival, and emma p stabs a broke pool cue into her eye, but instead of blood, a shower of electric sparks comes from here eye (surprise nerds shes an android)

While emma p and paul dash out of there, emma m steals an eye from one of the dead bikers to replace the one that was stabbed, a temporary solution, since the eye is a different color, and then takes the gallon of gasoline in her car (wdym u dont have a gallon of gas in ur car??) and burns down the birdhouse to destroy the evidence.

emma p drags paul to the hotel shes staying at and they each kinda have their own freak out sessions. emma p is this close to getting sexy with a man she met like yesterday but when paul turns her down, the door opens to reveal emma m, with a knife. (how did she find them? short answer: emma is very predictable to emma) a fight breaks out between the two emmas resulting in paul holding the knife.

each of the emmas plead with him. Emma p pleads for her life back, while emma m snips back that she wasnt living it she was running from it, and pulls the "im the woman you fell in love with paul" In the end, paul ends up stabbing a emma to death.

In the next scene, paul, and the emma with mismatched eyes, dump the real emmas body into the water by the nantucket bridge. The two finally sit down and emma explains whats going on, explaining that she's an android from the future, and came here after killing her creators, claiming that "if emma perkins didn't want a synthetic organism made in her likeness, she shouldn't have sold her genetic material to some shady company for $200"

Paul then has a confession of his own to make. He, too, is not Paul. He's paul 23. Apparently ccrp, the company paul works for, stole some spit from a coffee cup of his and has been MASS PRODUCING HIM IN THE BASEMENT FOR YEARS. I- I'm honestly still reeling a bit from that. this isn't some future thing, right now ccrp is making paul clones on a MASS SCALE. Why? to be shipped off to some mining colony on the moon. So 23 raised a revolution, killed the og paul, and took his place. after mentioning ccrp, emdroid mentions that they made her as well. (small world????)

After this they go kill that homeless guy and make out and the episode ends.

Did that give you emotional whiplash? cuz i sure have that. honestly this whole ep, esp the ending, just felt like john mulany going "now we don't have time to unpack all that right now" and this is only story 1. story 2 is a whole other thing. I think the main takeaway is "don't trust shady tech conglomerate's" but that's a bit of a given. Sorry this is so long, I got carried away. Anyway's, I love one (1) funky murder couple who just had their 1st anniversary yesterday (on the 17th)

so uh yeah forever and always huh lads?

Imma add to this as I read:

Hidgens officiates?

"This is a special tool that's gonna help us later!"

This sounds like the start of a 7-Second Riddle™

THE KNIFE EMOJIS A:LKSJFAL:KSJF:LSKAJF

Doesn't matter if its not Beanies, Emma will always be the one true latté hotté

Are you sure this isn't a 7-Second Riddle™?

What the fuck is happening, anymore (she says, knowing for a fact that ze's not gonna get an answer since God forbid any fandom knows what's going on with their respective piece of media)

WHAT TYPE OF HELLO NEIGHBOR FUCKING BULLSHIT IS THIS?!?!?!

Happy anniversary I guess????

Sorry, I'm still kind of hung up on the fact that Hidgens officiated. Uh, what?