#im at coda now wtf

[kloop-of-krystalz]

Okay is it okay if I told u that I just imagine Kane(?) from malevolent as Cain from TADC just because?

[bettsfic]

my reactions throughout the ep:

first i noticed jaime and brienne are standing together at the pyre lighting, then they’re across from each other at the feast

and then the drinking game. i just kept thinking, this isn’t happening. there’s no way they’re playing a drinking game, these things don’t happen outside of fanfic

then tyrion guesses that brienne is a virgin and i’m just. no. no this cannot be happening. this is literal, actual fanfic. i wrote this. i wrote this and i’m hallucinating it into reality. i’ve gone off the deep end

and TORMUND PUTS THE MOVES ON HER, and she slides right past him, real smooth, and JAIME STANDS UP AND PATS HIM ON THE SHOULDER. and still, at this point, i was thinking, i’m just imagining this. it’s not really happening. like i haven’t felt that kind of anticipation since the last time i hooked up with someone, and it’s been a long fucking time. these are GHOST EMOTIONS I’M FEELING

then my hopes were dashed -- maybe braime would happen off-screen, between the lines, so the lay observer would still be able to go “nah man nothing happened, the hot dude would never bone the ugly chick”

and tyrion, like the A+++ wingman he IS, pours his wine into tormund’s cup, ALL WITHOUT DIALOGUE and i hadn’t breathed in an entire minute, i was about to literally actually die from hope

then podrick’s SMUG LIL SMILE and TORMOND WEEPING “and after all that, this fucker comes north and takes her from me”

okay, okay, so now tormund sees it too, and if TORMUND sees it, surely OTHER PEOPLE SEE IT, surely i’m not going MAD

then arya GUTS GENDRY LIKE A NEWLY LEGITIMIZED FISH

OATHKEEPER OMINOUSLY HUNG BY A FIRE AND I BEGAN HYPERVENTILATING. SURELY. SURELY THIS COULDN’T BE IT. SURELY MINE EYES DECEIVE ME

“you didn’t drink” and jaime just WALTZES on in, and at this point i am sure a jet engine is going to fall on me and crush me before braime can be canon

jaime obsessed with the fact she didn’t drink when asked if she was a virgin, and her not understanding wtf he’s on about

“you keep it warm enough in here” and proceeds to awkwardly STRIP OUTTA HIM TUNIC while i sit here screaming IT’S GETTIN HOT IN HERE (so hot) SO TAKE OFF ALL YA CLOTHES

(i am. gettin so hot. im gonna take my cloooothes off)

useless dialogue “it’s the first thing i learned when i came to the north” LITERALLY NO ONE IS LISTENING BRIENNE

“very diligent. very responsible” “piss off” THERE they are

“how about tormund giantsbane?” J E A L O U S Y my braime modern au has NEVER BEEN MORE CANON

so softly: “you sound quite jealous” oh god she’s still so self-conscious, she’s like asking him, do u really like me or u lyin ? aka the way i’ve felt about this ship from the beginning 

“i do, don’t i?” BITCH I CAN’T TELL IF UR ADMITTING IT OR DISGUSTED WITH URSELF

*extremely high pitched, awkward laughter* “HAHA IT’S BLOODY HOT IN HERE” first of all has anyone said the word bloody ever in this entire series?

*proceeds to awkwardly take of his own shirt with one hand* HOW DO YOU FUNCTION JAIME RODRIGO LANNISTER

briennes FACE when he starts taking off his shirt she’s like “the fuck is happening. is this sex? is this gonna be sex??” highkey RELATE to that like “wtf he’s attracted to me? since when” feeling

he BITES his lil DRAWSTRING fucking CUTE AS HELL

“oh move aside” AND SHE DOES IT FOR HIM ok ok ok at this point i honest to god think i’m having a stroke, like there’s no WAY this is the point in the fanfic where i throw my gd ipad across the room and muffle screams into my pillow while rolling around going “oh my god oh my goddd”

“what are you doing?”

“i’m taking your shirt off”

I CAN’T BELIEVE THESE MORONS

the way he LOOKS AT HER when she finally GETS THE PICTURE he’s so IN LOVE I CAN’T EVEN FEEL MY OWN FACE

she takes his shirt off and he’s so BATTERED AND BEATEN AND GOD NIKOLAJ IS SO FUCKING HOT i am too ace for this

“i’ve never slept with a knight before” this line tbh should have been “i’ve never slept with someone not related to me before”

“i’ve never slept with anyone before” YOU KNOW I HAVE TO WRITE A CODA. YOU KNOW IT’S GOING TO HAPPEN. I CANNOT PASS UP CANONICAL VIRGINITY LOSS. I CAN’T

then the K I S S which was cut off FAR TOO SOON AND I AM ANGERY

(but him stand on his TIP TOES to get a better ANGLE which is 100% a nikolaj move)

we find out he’s STAYING IN WINTERFELL. i want to CHEER but i DON’T because i know there’s NO CHANCE IN HELL that will HAPPEN

“i’m happy that you’ll finally have to climb for it�� god bless u tyrion

“what’s she like down there?” “that’s not your concern” ok not only do i think this is OOC for jaime “hold you down and have my way with you [sic]” lannister but also it hurts my heart he’s never been able to kiss and tell bc the only other woman he’s been with is cersei so he doesn’t even know what spilling the tea is like

“I KNEW YOU WERE FUCKING HER” god what an entrance. we stan a bamf sellsword

fast forward. jaime is staring sadly into the fireplace and HERE IS WHERE I KNOW IT’S ALL GOING TO FALL APART BUT I REFUSE TO BELIEVE IT. I REFUSED IT WOULD GO CANON AND I REFUSE TO BELIEVE IT WOULD BE UNCANON WITHIN THE SPAN OF MINUTES

[closes door] my subtitles say. CLOSES DOOR. NO FUCK U JAIME EUGENE LANNISTER

he would’ve been GONE were it not for taking 87yrs to saddle his gotdamn horse

“stay here. stay with me.” i’ve seen some shit about how it’s OOC for brienne to start crying or w/e but i’m just. nah. nah when you’ve been protecting your heart your entire life and you finally give it to someone, and they betray you, there’s nothing that can keep you from crying

“you think i’m a good man?”

here my heart was saying “mr stark i don’t feel so good” before crumbling into dust and floating on the wind

“she’s hateful. and so am i.”

here’s where my heart is really broken, because brienne isn’t just crying about jaime leaving -- she’s crying about being wrong about him, and that all her fears about him are true, and he’s leaving her after she’s finally opened up to her. that’s what pisses me off the most about this episode. i feel like so many of us have been the Good Woman to bad men, and have watched those men, after years of our emotional labor to make them better, go back to their shitty ways, their hotter women, their abusive toxic relationships.

i have never felt more of a personal divine calling to write something than this episode. i have to fix this. it is my duty to fix it. i don’t know how yet but it’s gonna happen