#im an hour in so theres only ab half an hour to go but somethings just. not hitting

[kurthorton-moving]

my desire to watch at least 2 movies a day bc i started doing it and now i wanna keep up w it literally just to say i did vs the way i am getting a lil burned out on movies bc coming home from a full day of work to watch something doesnt feel as relaxing as it used to

[voidselfshipp]

Late night cuddle calls

Cw:mentions of f*od and ab*sive m*ther.

Ok to rb

The moon was hid by the dark stormy clouds, the savage wind ran amok the city Howling like a wolf, hitting the window of every appartment it went around,thunder strikes the Sky with a roar, smaller,lightins follow suit Briefly illumating the heavens now darkened.

Its late already.

Jerico turns and tosses around her sheets unable to fall asleep,resting on her back, hands behind her neck, she sighs hesitantly looking at her phone charging right besides her on her bed.

Would he still be awake?

She grabs it,turning it on,unlocking it and going to her most recent chat.

The contact reads "my sunflower🌻🖤" she smiles looking at the profile picture.

"Hey, you up?" She types.

Miles' phone rings as he drinks from his tea, hed be pulling an all nighter to finish some homework.

Checking his phone his expression turns into worry, its already so late, why was she up?

"Yeah I am, whats up?"

"I cant sleep,ive been trying for two hours....can you come?"

He hesitated looking that he was half way through his assigment, he sighed "yeah, be there in ten, ill go get us some snacks, not like I nees them cause youre the only snack I need" he then thinks it again deleting the last part.

"Ill be waiting, ill leave the Window Open"

He grabbed his backpack, putting his phone charger, some money and an extra pair of clothes just in case the rain caught him outside.

So he jumped out his Window,jumping around buildings to get some tea, snacks and maybe even a small plushie if he got lucky.

Exhausted, jeri sighed closing her eyes for a bit.

Her cat, Canela,sat on her chest purring. She chuckles slightly opening her eyes to pet her.

The rain had started to fall, in small harmless droplets, to then transform into a full blown storm.

Miles had just finished getting the last thing he needed, a small plushie of a dragon with intentional patches of different shades of red.

He knew shed like it.

A soft tap on the Window let jerico know miles had arrived, he enters taking off his jacket, he was drenched.

--hey babe-- he says leaving his backpack--hand me a towel?

--Heh sure--jeri gets out of bed walking sluggishly to a chair with folded towels.

--hey is that my hoodie?--he asked.

--it was your hoodie nows mine!

--you little thief!--He said playfully-- ill catch you!--He runs up to her lifting her up.

--oh noo Spiderman has caught me ohhh--both start to laugh--ill tell you what,If you have another set of clothes you go take a bath,I dont want you to get sick

--aw youre always takin care of me!--miles said kissing her--okay, ill go take a bath, mom--jeri rolls her eyes--oh I got you tea and your favourite snack, and a little gift okay babe?

Jers eyes are sparkling with joy running to his backpack.

He then proceeds to go to the bathroom in jericos room.

The girl opens the backpack to find the little plushie dragon.

She coos hugging It.

Miles just finished taking his drenched shirt off when his girlfriend Came to hug him from behind, she was warm-- thanks babe!!

--Ah its nothing...a bit of privacy tho?-- she nodds kissing his cheek and leaving closing the door behind her.

As she sits on the bed drinking her still somehow warm tea something catches her attention.

--needless to say I Keep her in check--miles sang followed by mutters of the parts he didnt quite know-- she was all bad bad never the less...

And so she sat there absolutely enamored, listening to her boyfriend sing.

Ten minutes later she handed him his fresh set of clothes and miles came out the bathroom in an oversized shirt, sweatpants and with red fluffy Slippers.

Jeri giggles making grabby hands.

--Im coming im coming--he said playfully grabbing his own tea and cookies sitting behind jerico,who then presses her body against his as he hugs her--whats been worrying you baby? Youve seem...off

Jer shrugged looking away-- nothing that I havent told you before..

He sighed hiding his face on her hair--theres not much i can do about it...but ill be here as long as you need me, and even then ill stick around...te amo jerico

--yo también miles

Both kiss, and spend the night drinking their warm drinks and listening to music.

Suddenly someone knocks on the door.

Miles climbs up the walls to a dark corner.

Jeris auntcle,vica enters the room--jerico?you okay?-They say in their british accent--heard noise from downstairs--vica looked up-- oh,hello miles

Miles sigh unsticking from the ceiling, falling on his feet hands on the pockets of his jackey-- oh hey vica, thought you were jericos mother

The brit scowls--after what she did the last time that...--they made a pause stopping themself from cursing-- shes no longer allowed around here, but anyway ill let ya ankle biters alone...

They closed the door and miles went back where he was hugging jerico tighter.

--What did your mom do last time she was here?

Jeri hid her face on his chest--awful stuff..she made this huge deal about some of my clothes, she even tried to forbid me from using those thigh hig boots

--the shiny black ones?

--yeah those!

--But those look so good in you!-miles said--what else?

Jer took a long sip from her tea-- her usual...awfull stuff, and also, do you remember how I said I was going to visit you after mom went back home, I couldnt go cause she got mad at me, just because I defended myself from her...,vica kicked her out and I didnt have the energy to go,im so sorry miles...

He hugged her tighter--you dont need to apologize, right now its you and me amor,no one else...

He lifted her face up by the chin and kissed her, she kissed back pressing her forehead against his.

After finishing their food they went to sleep.

Calming music playing in the background, contrasting And complimenting the chaotic stormy enviroment of the outside, as miles hugged jerico from behind protecting her from any danger.

Hed always be there to make her feel better, an smile appeared on his face as he heard the soft calming breaths that lured Him also in a peacefull sleep.

[dayasbun]

Fame - Angus Cloud (3)

Summary- a luckily timed audition leads to you falling for your new and unexpected co-star.

Warnings- okay HI welcome to my first multi chapter series woah?! this is actually so exciting for me like wow especially since angus doesn’t have any fics yet im just really really excited- so warnings! smut for sure, bad words, lotsa fluff, angst- everything in one basically. here comes a ride and I hope you enjoy :)

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3 {reading now}

-

Well, needless to say you got the role.

The final run through with Drake was successful, he started spewing off about how talented you were. You did your usual which was smile and nod, and Angus told you to "Stop being so shy mamas. You gotta get used to this."

Time flew as you turned in forms, focused on moving closer to set, and grew your social media audience. It was all exciting but also overwhelming, however you already loved it.

You and Angus seemed to be getting more comfortable with each other, the tension was wearing off and a simple friendship was forming. The luxury apartment you were moving into for when filming ceased was conveniently just a few doors down from his apartment, you two were going to be in the same complex. You talked quite often and filming hadn't even started yet, and you almost felt silly for feeling intimidated, if that was even the word, by him before. He'd offered to come over to help you move in- and even though the tension had faded, your {sometimes} inappropriate thoughts of him hadn't.

But today was the day everything kicked into gear, because today was the first day of filming.

You and Angus decided to meet up at a small, locally owned coffee shop before heading to set. You could both go together, and since he offered to drive, you could save some gas.

You got there early, you two were to meet at 7:30 am, you were there at 7:25 due to leaving time to dodge the traffic. Angus came through the door yawning at 8:17- due to oversleeping.

"Do you always do this?" you laughed sliding a donut over to him as he sat down across from you in the booth.

"Do what?" he asked, eating half of the donut in one big bite.

"Are you always late- like on set? Because most of my scenes are with you and I-"

"You think ahead a lot, I just like sleeping, you should like it too you feel what I mean? Sleep is just that bitch...if there was a girl like sleep then I would have a girl."

Half of the time the things Angus came up with made zero sense to you, but you always just agreed and moved along. For example, yesterday night he called you at 12:32 am just to let you know that the Frosted Flakes box had 'of corn' in small writing under the bold logo. You said you'd never noticed that- which was the truth, and then that led to him telling you the complete history of Mandela effects. You didn't get back to bed until 1:54.

"And to be fair Y/N, you kept me up last night with that Mandela effect shit." he said with a smirk as he finished off the donut.

Your mouth fell open as you rolled your eyes "Boy as if! You wish I-"

"So you quoting 90s movies now? That's new, don't really know how I feel ab-"

"Lets go," you shook your head standing up and tossing your coffee cup into the garbage.

You two walked out and into the warm LA air. "You read the scripts at all?" He asked you as you headed to his car.

"I did! We have a lot of scenes...some are quite different."

"What you mean? Not boutta lie I didn't read anything past the first episode cuz them other shits too far away."

"Well, sex is always a given in Euphoria."

"Yeah them nude scenes finna make me feel a bit violated if you know what I mean."

"You'll be fine, all you show is your ass but I have to-"

"Oh shit I gotta show my cheeks? For real? On television- aw nah I gotta talk to somebody about tha-"

"I have to show everything except my baby maker so...who really has it worse?"

"Yo' baby maker? Is that them gorgeous eyes cuz it sure does make me want to make a baby wit' you."

Was that a joke-

He did this alot. You never knew if he was actually flirting or if it was just him joking around, but you always assumed it was the latter.

"Was that a...was that a joke from you Angus? How rare!"

He flipped you off with a goofy grin at the next red light and you laughed. "No all jokes aside though Gus, I gotta show my whole body, titties and all. Like my parents are going to watch this how do I? Explain?"

“Well we can fuck wit’ all that when we get to it.”

“Oh baby...” You said sarcastically. “You didn't actually read the first episodes script did you?”

“What you mean?”

You pulled the script from out of your tote, clearing your throat before you started to read. “Jess looks at Fez with a gleam of interest in her eyes. ‘Its been awhile tiger’ she says in a certain way, a way that makes Fez adjust his- yeah I’m not reading that- ‘It has’ Fez says biting his lip. He wants her, but he doesn't know if she wants him too...he thinks she doe-”

“We gotta have sex the first episode? Nah you lying.”

“Episode 1, 3, 5, 7 and 8.”

“Holy shit what?! Aint nobody have that much sex last season...”

“Yeah but its because of our storyline. Jess and Fez constantly want each other and they think the only way to let it out is through sex- they are both terrible with commitment and Jess is afraid of Fez’s dealing; even if she wants to be with him that's keeping her away.”

“Damn, my manz Fez gettin’ the short end of the stick.”

“Jess is the only one getting a short stick Angus.”

It took him a minute to understand what you said, but as soon as he comprehended it his eyes widened. “Girl no you didnt- you know I’m packing- how you gon’ do me like that?!” he said defensively as he parked. You couldn't help but to laugh as you hurried out of the car. “Imma get you back for that!” He yelled after you. You shook your head and walked to the main trailer where everyone was to gp.

Walking in you saw only Z and Storm, Queen Bey played softly in the background showing the girls in front of you were in their element. “Hey girl!” Z said giving you a quick side hug. “Dont worry about being late, its all good. You came with Angus didn't you?”

You nodded whilst rolling your eyes and took the key she was holding out, walking back out and to your trailer.

The trailer was cozy, comfortable and not too small. It had quite a modern look to it, and the look on the outside didn't match the inside at all. You smiled as you sat on the sofa, seeing a white envelope on the glass table. On it was scribbled ‘Angus and Y/N’. Before you could get up to go over to his trailer, he walked in- no invitation, no knock, no anything. “Gee!!!! Good thing I wasn’t naked!” You said sarcastically as you glared at him.

“Yeah whateva. We gotta read this letter together I guess.” He said plopping down beside you.

“Yeah yeah okay, I can read it out loud.” You said cracking open the envelope and pulling out the bright white printer paper. “Okay here we go...it's from...Drake?”

“Ah shit.”

“Don’t worry yet, it's probably just- let me just read.”

Angus nodded and got more comfortable on the sofa as you started to read. “Angus and Y/N. On behalf of your upcoming roles I wanted to tell you guys to loosen up. Theres alot of sexy time to film, and I don't want the viewers to feel the sexual tension from Angus and Y/N, I want them to feel it radiating from Jess and Fez. Make kissing casual, make being naked around each other casual too. Don't make that shit weird. And Angus, make sure you can get it up. If it takes...oh-” you stopped for a moment.

“What?” Angus looked at you and you cocked your head to one side still inspecting the letter.

“Okay- here, he said: If it takes walking around each other unclothed then do it, take care of that tension between you two. I could feel it in the final run through, meaning that the viewers would be able to sense it as well. I'm only saying all this cuz its your first time filming together. I need art, not high school production shit. You guys have the passion, and you click. But there's something missing. Make the fuck out and get this show on the road. I'm always a call away if its not working out-- Drake.”

“Well damn. What he tryna say?”

“Angus it's clear what he's saying- I mean come on I feel the tension between us too, and I don't know what it is but hes right, whatever it is we need to get over it, and move on from that. This is business- an art form we have to work through. Ight?”

“Ight. So what I’m hearing is we gotta make out and get naked.”

“We aren't doing anything until ya girl takes a nap.”

“How you sleepy we just got here and you woke up 3 hours ago?”

“Listen man it is not my fault I only got 4 and a half hours of sleep-”

“SO you tryna say it’s mine?!” “It is! With your mandela effecr loving ass.”

He chuckled under his breath. “Okay okay, fair. But lemme sleep wit’ you.” “What? Why?”

“You the one that read the letter, we gotta drop this tension lil mama. And if we legit just sleeping, ion see nun wrong wit’ it, do you?”

You thought it over, and he had a point. There was nothing wrong with it, sleeping is sleeping...and besides, you two would have to do much worse.

“Whatever, come on.”

“Let���s go to my trailer though.”

“What? Why? Ion wanna walk come on Angu-”

“I can carry you then. But my place more homey, you just got here and your bed ain’t even got sheets.”

Damn, why is he always right? “Okay fine but carry me.”

He hunched down in front of the sofa “Get on my back and we can go.”

You grabbed your phone getting onto his back and holding on tight, your arms around his neck and your thighs squishing his sides. “Go go go!” You giggled, feeling safe as you rested your chin on the top of his head.

He ran to the trailer, causing you to laugh and hold on even tighter. Dropping you onto the bed, he looked around the small trailer-bedroom for more covers.

“You know girl,” he said looking into the closet “You kinda cute. How you was laughing out there had my heart beating fast and shit.” He found a throw and turned back around to ask you if it was good, but you were already out, completely sound asleep, and cuddled into a pillow. “Damn so you ain't hear none o’ that huh?” He sighed. “Probably better on my end. Can’t be catching feelings and shit.” He covered you over and lay beside you.

In your sleep your body detected the body heat, so you unknowingly turned over, cuddling into his chest. A smile formed on your lips as you moved closer, practically wrapping yourself around him.

The man sighed placing his lips to your forehead and leaving a light kiss. “Yeah. No catching feelings.”

-

taglist:

@nikkixostan @melaninmarvel @celiajrs @siriuslycollins

[queenlifesupport]

Like It’s Yours (Ben x Joe x Y/N) #1

A/N : This is sorta inspired by @freddiesmercvry (Truth or Dare) and low-key from 50 Shades of Grey... Also please leave suggestions for scenes or some smutty situations!! (this might have typos, also im so tired while writing this so it might be SHIT)

WARNINGS : SEX, Language, Unprotected Sex, Kinkiness. WORDS : 3,019

I haven't been out of my small apartment in days, I had work piled on my desk like theres no tomorrow, my job was absolutely pushing me to the edge and I needed a break before I fell. I used the strong liquor in my hand to pump myself with confidence in order to move onto the dance floor, I wasn't much of a drinker but tonight called for it. It was hard to make out what song was playing due to the overdramatized bass that throbbed through my eardrums, but whatever it was, people still let loose of their problems and personal lifestyle. 

I attempted to stand while the drink flew through my system, accomplishing balance on my six inch heels. The confidence finally brought me to the large gathering I've been eyeing all night. I entered the crowd, feeling like I'm lost in a humid corn-maze, being bumped into by random strangers that were also tipsy, some more than others. Finding the middle of the crowd, it was my time to let loose. During the midst of my drunken swaying, my eyes fluttered open to view those around me, gaze following the eyes a man a few feet away. He looked lascivious as he mirrored my moves. His blonde hair was slightly swept to the side, he wore an all black suit that tailored him quite nicely, you could tell he was fit. I held his stare intensely, not daring to make a move in his direction for I did not want to lose the challenging match so easily. He seemed to not budge easily either, I debated in my mind to either approach or signal him over. His glare made my stomach slightly weak, out of reflex I looked away, I knew I couldn't approach him on my own. I continued to dance, deciding to slow it down, adding more sensualness to the way I moved. I needed to draw him in and this was the only way I knew how. Although our beaming was cut off from my shyness, I could feel his eyes still exploring every inch of my body. My feet began to ache, I had a inclination that connections would not ascend further, I'd rather sit down instead of waste my time. I looked up one last time, giving the stranger a smile before strutting off to the lounging area. I felt overheated from the moving along from the warmth emanating off others, once getting away from the swarm I accompanied myself on the white pleather. I sighed at the cool air being pushed over me from the air conditioning overhead, I wondered why there wasn't air conditioning above the dance floor. It was getting late according to the time on my phone screen, I should head home soon so I can attempt to demolish my workload tomorrow.

"Hello." My thoughts were interrupted by a harsh British accent, I took a gander at the wellspring of the voice and to my surprise it was him, the one from the herd in the dancing mass. My eyebrows lifted ever so lightly, I didn't think he'd follow.

"Oh - hi." I could only manage a short response. He lightly chuckled before asking me if he could accompany me on the cushion, I accepted. He smelled of Versace cologne, the hint of green apple, mint, and lemon, it was exhilarating on its own.

"Crowded night, I suppose." His voice was as mesmerizing as his scent.

"Indeed. I've never been here, thought I'd give the nightlife a try."

"I agree, I usually come here to meet interesting people, and as of now, I've accomplished my goal."

"You don't even know my name." I laughed now.

"Good point, I'm sure it's as interesting as you seem. Now humor me." From then on, we talked about all sorts of aspects of our lives; work, friendships, hobbies, and even romantic relationships. I learned his name is Ben, he lives with his best friend Joe, he's an actor, and he plays football (soccer) in his pastime. Once I looked down again at my phone, it allowed us to see we've talked for about 2 and a half hours straight. Time did fly when you're having fun.

"I should probably get home." My smile faded at the thought of ending our night, he frowned slightly too. I opened iMessage to text my friend, earlier she agreed to drive me home since I would be drinking and I've always been her designated driver in the past. "I just have to wait for my ride, in the meantime I can get your number?" 

"Sounds lovely." He recited his number to me as I quickly pounded it in, setting his contact as 'Ben'. 

"We should get together sometime soon, maybe coffee tomorrow?" A ding from my phone alerted me of a notification. "Fuck - she can't pick me up."

"What's going on?"

"Her tail-light is busted, she doesn't want to get pulled over while driving around." I sighed frustratingly. My apartment was about a 45 minute walk from here and I wasn't in the mood to walk in heels.

"I can order you an Uber."

"No no - You don't have to pay for me. I can order one."

"Why don't you come over for the night? It's just 10 minutes away." He seemed serious about his statement. I couldn't tell if it was a legitimate invitation. Would I really go home with him? I wasn't that type of person, meet them then immediately jump to the next thing. "Well, are you down?"

"Sure, I don't see the harm in that." I didn't even give a second thought to my answer. 

The industrial-loft like apartment was dark and smelled of cedar wood, it gave a very expensive vibe yet homey at the same time. I hung my purse and coat up on the welcoming racks and followed Ben further into the flat, as we ventured through he flicked every light switch allowing the place to illuminate under the warm lights. We entered the kitchen, presently taking a seat at the island as he sought what appeared to be a wine rack.

"Care for a drink? We have Dom Perignon, Caymus, whatever you desire." I desire him. 

"I don't speak rich, surprise me." He gave my comment a delightful snicker. My love life was very exhausting, I was constantly focused on my profession. I never discovered many fascinating folks, however he was something different. He was adorable, smart, kind, and as a plus, rich.

"For the lady, Beau Joie." He held two beautiful champagne flutes, each held a fizzing liquid. I accepted the cup between my fingers and took a drink at the same time as him. I've just heard of this stuff in romance books and films, yet I was at that point of truly liking him in one night. I felt my cheeks heat up with a pink as he sent me little wink while his lips pursed around the glass rim. "Have I let you know that you're the beautifulest amongst all the women I've ever seen?" I couldn't help but roll my eyes playfully, biting my lip at his compliment.

"You haven't seen many women I assume?" My eyebrow raised at him as I yet again took a sip of the champagne that tasted like citrus and apple as it hit my many tastebuds. 

"I've seen my fair share, and I can tell you what I said was a fact. Don't believe me if you want, but I can prove it if needed." I gulped at the possibilities he could be suggesting.

"And what are you implying, Mr. Hardy?" I scooted to the edge of my seat, leaning in closer to him. He did the same, only a few inches from my lips.

"Why don't you kiss me and find out?" His voice was deep, pushing me over the edge, I couldn't deal with him. I went forward, crashing my lips with his soft ones, sharing the alcoholic tase between the sensual moment. I didn't mind the taste. I felt his strong grip move to my thigh as we continued to synchronize our lips, soon feeling his tongue graze my bottom lip in anticipation to enter. I allowed it. We pulled apart after a few moments of heavy interaction, we both sat there out of breath. 

"Take off your blazer." My request was forward and I demanded I got what I asked for. He slipped it off without question, grabbing onto the bottom hem of his under shirt, giving me a questioning look before I nodded, then he took that off too. I was correct before, he was fit, my fingers ran down his abs, drawing an imaginary sloppy line from his V-line to his biceps, clutching a hand around his upper arm to feel the hard muscle. 

"Maybe we should get you out of that pretty little dress of yours?" His whisper was dripping with lust, I had to clench my thighs harder. Everything he said drove me crazy, I was soaked at this point. 

"Who said you earned it?" 

"Who said you were the one in control here?" He made me melt, he was so dominant and I loved it. I surrendered, standing up, first unzipping it from the back as we held eye contact, then slipping down the dress sleeves, finally pulling it down to pool around my feet. He bit his lip at the sight of the black lace panties I wore underneath, the dress had enough support to wear it without a bra. In the cool air, my nipples were hard at the high amount of excitement I felt. "I think you might be missing something else." He slightly pointed at the thong I still wore. I slid my thumbs into the waistband, teasing him by stretching out the fabric but not pulling them down. As I continued, I could see him getting quite impatient in his seat. "Now." I finally slid them down at his command, feeling embarrassment at my exposure but replaced it with fake confidence. 

"What now?" I sweetly asked, swaying seductively as I walked myself directly in front of him. He harshly grabbed onto my hips, pulling me in to take my nipple between his teeth, harshly sucking and nipping. I moaned loudly, his sudden action sparked my body massively. "Fuck - Ben." My hand took a fistful of his blonde hair, tugging slightly. His suction pulled off as he took a moment to look up at me.

"Don't call me that." I looked down confused. "You can call me Sir." He then wrapped his lips along the other breast. His other hand found its way to between my thighs, rubbing my clit slowly. His fingers rolled perfectly. 

"Hmph - Sir, I need more please." He hummed against the soft skin in response, he continued. "Please, I need to be fucked." He withdrew his lips and hands from me, standing up to match my height, unbuttoning the suit pants then releasing himself from them. Once he was left in his boxers, he grabbed my wrist and pulled me to the counter on the other side of the island. Although there was a cup holding utensils, he used his arm to sweep them off the counter and to the floor, scattering everywhere. He once again grabbed onto my hips, ordering me to jump then also lifting me up to sit bare-ass on the counter, he re-adjusted his hand position, placed his hands on both my under thighs, lifted them up so that my pussy was at a better angle for him to enter while I leaned back and held myself up on my arms. He bit his lip as he gazed down at my glistening slit.

"You're so wet for me, princess. How bad do you want my dick in your tight little pussy?" I rolled my head back in anticipation. 

"So bad, Sir, please fuck me." He finally removed his last layer, revealing his hard and throbbing cock, I licked my lips at the sight of him completely nude in front of me. I moaned quietly as he teased me with his tip, it was this moment I was beyond thankful I was on birth control. I craved him cumming inside me. I made no remarks at his slow entrance, I knew thats what he wanted from me. Suddenly he thrusted in slowly, I moaned out, hearing him sigh as he slipped in. 

"You're so tight, babygirl. You feel so good around my cock." He continued a slowed pace, allowing me to adjust to his length and width. At first it felt slightly uncomfortable but was soon replaced with pure bliss.

"Sir, please go faster, " He slightly built up to a fast pace with my request. The sound of our moans and slapping skin filled the quiet apartment. His thrust grew faster and deeper, and I moaned even louder with every push. At this point I was a moaning mess, the pleasure took over from the waist down, the overflowing delight clouded my head. 

"Turn around, I want your ass facing me and your stomach against the counter." He slid out of me, causing me to whine in response. "Do it, now." I followed his order and managed to rotate myself on my tits, it was cold sending small goosebumps on the surface of my skin. "Such a lovely ass." As his words distracted me, his cock slipped back into my slit, hitting deeper than the last time. I cried out in pleasure, stretching my arms out attempting to reach for something. All of a sudden the sound of glass hitting the floor could be heard, I knocked the glass full of champagne off the counter.

"Fuck Ben, I'm sorry." I managed to get out between breaths as I used my hand to push behind me on his chest. All he did in response was grab my wrist and pin it behind my back.

"I don't care, don't think about it babygirl." He sped up once again, now grabbing a fistful of my hair. My legs started to weaken from all the pleasure, I couldn't control any sounds that left my mouth. I barely had a grip on my surroundings either. "Shit baby, I'm close." His teeth clenched together, grunting as he continued the pace.

"Cum in me Sir, fill me up." I attempted to push him over, and I succeeded. Feeling his warm cum release inside me. After a few sloppy thrusts, he pulled himself out. 

"Now it's time for you baby." He lowered his face to my cum dripping pussy, licking a strip from my clit to my opening, pressing his tongue into my slit. I groaned as his tongue thrusted in and out, it was significantly more exciting to me that he had quite recently came inside me and is currently licking it up. I didn't require substantially more attention to cum, I was already close when he was fucking me with his dick.

"Sir, I'm close." I moaned.

"Not yet baby." He muffled against my pussy. I rolled my eyes as I attempted to not cum. His tongue removed from me, now standing and inserting two fingers. Curling them with every moan, he harshly pulled up and down causing an intense amount of pleasure. I was bound to cum at this point. 

"Sir, p-please, let me" I couldn't finish the sentence without stuttering on my moans, "let me cum, please."

"Now, babygirl." And with his reaffirming words, I let myself release around his fingers, urging them with both our cum joined. "Face me." I pitifully pivoted, looking at his fingers he held at my face level. "Suck." I eagerly took his fingers in my mouth. Sucking and enjoying our tastes together, once I licked all the wetness from his fingers he sighed as he removed them from my mouth. "You better to go tidy yourself up, sweetheart." His voice was presently delicate as we ogled at one another, flushed from our recent climaxes. 

"Wheres your room?" My voice was strained and tired from the many moans I recited. 

"Down the hall, second room on the left." I let myself down from the counter, to my surprise he snaked his hand behind my neck, pulling me in for a soft kiss. I blushed before I slightly wobbled to his room. 

It was the following morning, I laid in his bed, naked whilst enveloped by his white sheets. I didn't know what I was thinking the previous evening, however I was satisfied with my result. The washroom entryway was open, enabling me to watch Ben wash himself in the steamy and glass doored shower. I had no desire to go home. I heard the water stop, signaling me that he would be emerging any moment. The shower door accompanied the silence that now filled the room.

"When do you want me to go home?" I called to him, tracing imaginary shapes on the sheets. 

{TAG LIST // @fixedonroger // @lovingbenhardy // @bemywiggins // @vampire-way// @brianrogerinas // @16wiishes // @theonlyone-meeeee // @g-g-g-ghost-butt // @oxuminaa }

[isaacathom]

also i talked about my scifi story for like half an hour (to myself, natch) and figured out that a good way to handle the AB thing is not to have A decide to ruin the plan out of nowhere by trying to get back to the army base, setting off the system and putting B at risk because Oh Shit. its to have A be arrested for like. hacking and shit, planetside. And, of course, they take ID in that arrest (which would place the criminal mark next to B, whose only crime has been impersonation with permission and some minor licensing shenanigans that come from that), but they also take dna/biometric data, because, yknow, Fake Ids, etc. and yknow, they get the data from A, and it shows up as them being A, and everyones like :T HMMM. A is adamant that they are B, but their colleagues who were arrested with them kinda fuck that by referring to them as A (yknow, Shenanigans).

meanwhile B is at space bace. tries to call A like they’ve been doing semi-regularly, fails. assumes theyre busy. next day, tries again, fails, decides to call their younger bro, who goes ‘yea they got arrested by the govt’ ‘they WHAT? Put mum on the line!’ and all that ensues. they don’t tell B what A did (mum says ‘i dont think im allowed to tell you’) but B is panicking. because Oh, Fuck. the best case scenario is that they assume A is B and B gets a criminal recod, but that fucks over B, who is currently pretending to be A, so like, what are they supposed to do? How long are they going to have to pretend to be A, and will they want to swap back at all if it means suddenly having a record for crimes they didn’t commit? the more likely outcome is that they figure out the switch, and oh GOD, OH NO.

Before the army base can be properly informed about the ongoing Situation (info was delayed because A demanded a lawyer, as you do) B gets sent on another mission with the squad, which helps put their actions into an emotional context. Explains why, when seeing D charge up a terrifying direct hit to a stationary C (whose ship had already been hit and was essentially ‘floating’ while she tried to manually fix one of the broken systems), B goes ‘fuck that’ and does a manual lightspeed jump to intercept the shot, which breaks through their shields and sends them fucking careening off into the void of space because getting hit at near light speed fucks you up real good. like, okay, fucking incredible maneouver, would have worked significantly better if the summonable shields for standard class weren’t Not Super Great, and also if D hadn’t fucking charged shot the bastard. fucking nyoom off into the void, 90% of the reason B fucking blacks out during that is that they got hit on an angle and fucking corkscrewed into the void like babe no amount of gravity stabilisers on the inside are gonna prevent you from wanting to vom, and thats assuming the gravity stabilisers weren’t fucked with IN THE HIT.

i guess the broad strokes is that A gets arrested, and before B can be like, questioned about it re:identity, they get fucked up real good on the last mission because part of them goes ‘if im gonna go to prison after this i might as well go to prison having saved my friends life’ and boom bitch, an unconscious pilot in a corkscrewing spaceship rocketing away from the encounter because theres noone at the wheel to hit the brakes. wild. theyre fine, as soon as L sees whats happened and processes what the FUCK just happened they basically immediately go ‘OH SHIT’ and completely disengage from the fight with D to chase after B’s runaway ship. shenanigans, etc etc, eventually everyones safe and back at base and B’s out fucking cold in the med bay and then like the resolution of that whole thing happens i guess? the fact A is not in orbit sorta messes with the original idea which is that both A and B would fly together, but A’s kinda under arrest for hacking like govt secrets of something trying to uncover the truth behind the DECAF ambush (i love that thats the acronym for the squad it kills me so bad) which means that if the story is entirely set in space, A never actually physically makes an appearance, which is hilarious. does complicate matters because its like, okay, so we’ve gotten a confession from B that they are, in fact, not A, and that they have committed that Worst of Crimes, impersonation with permission. at that point the folks have a few options. Jail B for ~crimes~, or let B continue to fly. Their squad would probably argue in their defence, with C’s testimony on the matter being particularly important from a procedural and emotional standpoint, since C has flown with both A and B. And that previously, C had something of a falling out with B where she almost accused them of being a different person. its more complex than that, but its like. yknow. turn around. willing to recognise the good in it, provided she eventually gets answers from the actual A, which B promises to set up once A isn’t, yknow, in lock up. And they’d be looking at B’s record, noting that they are a qualified pilot and attended flight school before transferring out to becoming a mechanic, that their criminal record is clean bar this shenanigannery and the confusion re: A’s hacking, and that their actual flight record during their time pretending to be A is. pretty fucking solid. Like. B has done nothing wrong aside from impersonate someone, and beyond that has just. done their job. they’ve followed orders, they’ve saved people, they’ve taken down enemy combatants, etc etc. and they go ‘you know what? we dont have the luxury of time to slot a new person into that squad to replace you, and so on, so forth, do fuck it! you can stay! but the moment things ebb, you will be on the first ship back to the planet to be dealt with’ and B’s like That’s Honestly Better than I thought that would go, so that works.

the only bit about all this thats iffy is trying to make sure A is still... relevant? that their presence, their actual presence, it felt somehow, so that all the shenanigans don’t come from nowhere. and also to have the information A obtained from The Hackening be useful somehow. like, its about the DECAF thing, and proves something about the incident, like that the space fleet knew D’s ship was active the entire time and did nothing about it, or some shit. thats the issue, cause i feel like being able to know anything about that incident requires explaining what D’s motives are, since its presumably tied into The Truth, and i dont knooow

who fucking knows

[zoemurph]

before sunrise

on ao3 (full note on ao3) 

its been a really tough week, but as always, i really love the murphy siblings. i also really love my friends. thank you for putting up with me and im sorry for the silence. ill try to make it up somehow if youll let me.

warning: minor mentions of throwing up from "it's around 1:30" to "'zoe?' connor asks softly", because zoe is sick. its not described much at all, but figured id throw it out there. let me know if theres anything else i should warn about.

enjoy

It’s 4:17 in the morning when Zoe tip toes down the stairs and then makes eye contact with Connor, who’s sitting on the couch, eating cereal and staring at a blank TV screen.

Connor takes another bite of cereal and then puts the bowl down in his lap. “Hey.”

Zoe nods and walks into the kitchen, putting her instrument case on the floor by the table when she passes it.

Connor stares ahead at nothing for another few seconds before he takes his cereal and moves to join her.

“What are you doing up?” he asks, leaning against the island in the center of the room.

Zoe keeps her back toward him as she rummages through the fridge. “Competition,” she says shortly.

“At four in the morning?” Connor asks in surprise.

Zoe glances at him over her shoulder, eyebrows furrowed. “Yeah? Transportation time?”

Oh right. “Still, that’s really fucking early.”

She keeps staring at him. “Well you’re up.”

“That’s different,” Connor points out before stirring his cereal mindlessly.

“Why, ’cause you’re not leaving?” Zoe pulls out an orange and closes the fridge door with her elbow.  

Connor rolls his eyes. “No. Cause I never went to bed. There was no ‘waking up’ involved here.”

She frowns as she peels her orange. “Why didn’t you sleep?”

He shrugs and takes another bite of cereal.

“Hm.” Zoe slowly pulls apart the orange. “So did you just sit on the couch all night and stare at the TV?”

“Yes.” She looks surprised. “And then I grabbed a bowl of cereal and then I kept staring at the TV.” Connor keeps his gaze steady as Zoe decides what to do with that information.

Eventually, Zoe settles for “Oh.” And all other aspects of their relationship considered, Connor will settle for it.

“I have to go,” Zoe says suddenly. She slips past Connor and back into the dining room. She scoops up her case and grabs her keys off the hook without another word.

“Good luck,” Connor says from the kitchen doorway.

Zoe pauses at the front door. “Thanks.”

It’s 5:23 in the morning and Connor is sitting on the kitchen counter eating cold pizza.

Zoe hesitates in the doorway before she steps into the kitchen and leaves her backpack on the island.

“Early,” Connor says.

Zoe hums in agreement. She pulls a loaf of bread out of the cabinet and pops two pieces in the toaster. “Why are you up?” she asks as she opens the door to the fridge and pulls out the jelly. Someone, probably Connor, used the rest of the strawberry. She’ll settle for grape.

Connor shrugs.

They sit in silence as they wait for the toast to pop.

“Coffee?” Connor asks suddenly.

Zoe shakes her head. “I’ll stop at Starbucks on my way into school.”

Connor squints at the time on the stove. “It’s early.”

“I’m helping Alana with setup for the assembly today.” The toast pops. Zoe grabs a knife and a plate.

“You’re part of Student Council?” Connor asks. He doesn’t seem surprised. She’s not sure how to take that.

“No.” She focuses on spreading jelly evenly across the pieces of bread. Easier said than done. “I’m just helping Alana, you know how Student Council is.”

There’s a pause before Connor says, “No. Not really.”

Zoe looks up from her toast. “No one does shit,” she says flatly.

He lifts his pizza in acknowledgement. “Mood.”

She rolls her eyes. “Fuck off, Alana does everything. People don’t care, it just looks nice on college apps.”

“Sorry she has to deal with that,” Connor says after a moment. “It’s cool that you care.”

Zoe looks over to him. He’s staring off into the distance as he eats his pizza, like he didn’t say the words at all.

It’s 1:02 in the morning. Connor is hanging off the side of the couch upside down as Evan snores softly on the other end, curled up in a ball and hugging a pillow.

The stairs creak and he sits up, groaning as he uses abs that he definitely doesn’t have. The sudden change makes the blood rush from his head, and he grabs onto the arm of the couch as black spots burn his vision and his head spins. When it passes, he squints up at Zoe in the darkness.

She’s frozen in the middle of the stairs, eyes wide.

Connor hauls himself off the couch, moving for the first time in at least eight hours, which his body hates. He motions for Zoe to follow him into the kitchen and hears her following him quietly after a moment. He flicks on the light as he enters the kitchen and immediately heads to the fridge. Cynthia bought whipped cream and he’s not above squirting it directly into his mouth.

Zoe leans against the counter and crosses her arms over her chest.

“Did you want something?” Connor asks softly, pulling the can of whipped cream from the shelf.

She starts to shake her head then stops. “Couldn’t sleep,” she admits after a minute.

Connor puts the cover on the island before shaking the can. “Relatable.”

“When did Evan fall asleep?” she asks.

Good move. Evan is always a safe conversation topic. Just like Evan is a safe person to be around. Evan is just safe, that’s the best description Connor has come up with for him so far. “Maybe like half an hour ago. Long day.”

Zoe nods slowly and stares out of the kitchen into the darkness of the living room. “I can’t believe he fell asleep on the couch.”

Connor smiles. “Evan can fall asleep anywhere if he’s tired enough. He fell asleep leaning against Jared the other day.”

He watches Zoe fight a smile before he tips his head back and squirts whipped cream into his mouth. She’s probably judging him, but he remembers doing this with her when they were young. Younger. Their mom would put out strawberries and put a little bit of whipped cream on their plates. When she left the room, they’d sneak into the kitchen and squirt whipped cream into their mouths.

“That couch is the worst,” Zoe mutters. “Dad needs to move on so we can get a new one.”

Connor lowers the whipped cream and nods. They’ve had that old couch for as long as either of them can remember. It’s one of the only parts of the house that isn’t constantly updated. At one point it was comfortable, but now the cushions are flattened and the springs are dead. A night’s sleep on it is a guaranteed back ache for at least two days afterward.

“As long as Evan is asleep,” Connor says. He holds out the whipped cream to Zoe.

She stares at the can for a long moment before she takes it from him. “Why aren’t you asleep?”

Connor raises his eyebrows at her. “Sleep is for the weak.”

Zoe gives him a flat look.

“I took a nap after school in the library while waiting for Evan,” Connor says. “I can’t sleep.”

Zoe keeps her eyes on the floor for a moment before she lifts the whipped cream to her mouth and squirts it in.

Avoidance. Nice.

“You should go to sleep soon,” Connor says eventually. “You have that rehearsal today, right?”

She nods slowly. “It’s fine. I can sleep on the bus.”

Connor makes a face.

“I’ve done longer rehearsals on less sleep.” Zoe grabs the cap off the island and covers the whipped cream. “Besides, this is good practice for college.”

Connor watches her as she opens the fridge door to put away the can. They don’t talk about college. Or the future. For a while there they didn’t talk at all. And then talking about the future was too tentative, because it wasn’t something they thought they’d actually look at together. “Performance or education?” he asks as the fridge door swings closed.

“Performance,” Zoe murmurs. “But I’m also thinking about music therapy. There aren’t many schools with great programs but…” She trails off and looks at her feet. The socks she’s wearing are mismatched, one is covered with stars and the other with Marvel superheroes.

“You should go to bed,” Connor says.

Zoe nods. “You too.”

At 2:49, Zoe gives up and closes her history textbook. Her brain hurts and her eyes hurt and her neck hurts. She pushes away from her desk and stands up, stretching out her back and wincing when something pops. Then she goes down the stairs as quietly as possible because she desperately needs chocolate before she starts crying.

She almost has a heart attack when she flicks on the kitchen light, because Connor is sitting on the floor in the dark eating cup ramen.

“Oh my god,” she gasps, stumbling backward.

Connor looks up at her and then raises a hand. “Hey.”

“Don’t do that!” Zoe hisses. “I almost screamed.”

“Cool.” Connor takes a sip from his cup ramen.

She puffs up her cheeks and blows air out from between her lips as she pulls open the cupboards. “What are you doing up?”

“Studying. Emphasis on the dying part.” She glares at him and he shrugs. “I got sick of writing about literary fiction versus commercial fiction, fucking sue me.”

“Maybe I will.” Zoe finds a half used bag of chocolate chips from the last time they made pancakes. She pulls it out of the cabinet and tosses the bag clip on the island before joining Connor on the floor. “Want some?”

“Nah I’m eating healthy.”

She rolls her eyes and dumps a handful of chocolate chips into her palm. “Okay then. Are you just writing that paper or…?”

“Yeah at the moment.” Connor picks at the styrofoam cup. “Ev and I are meeting up after school tomorrow so he can study for Environmental Science and Alana promised she’d help me with math.”

“Alana is a gift,” Zoe muses before stuffing the entire handful of chocolate chips in her mouth.

“Mhm. What about you?”

Zoe holds up a hand as she chews the chocolate chips. She has so much to do and she’s trying not to think about it too much. Mostly she’s just stress eating, which is admittedly better than Evan’s stress not eating, but not by much. “Right now it’s history,” she says after she swallows. “I’m trying not to think about music theory. Or precalc. Or graphic design.”

“Ask Jared,” Connor says. “He’s good at that shit. He might be able to hack onto the computers and fix something real quick after class if you need him to.”

“That’s cheating, Connor.” Zoe takes another handful of chocolate chips.

“Do I look like I give a shit?” Connor asks before tipping his head back and draining the rest of the broth in his cup ramen.

Zoe shakes her head. “You look like you want to have too much salt in your body.”

“I’m already mostly salt,” Connor deadpans. “A little more can’t hurt.” He holds out his hand for a chocolate chip. Zoe generously gives him two. “You’ve got White for precalc, right? Because we need to talk about how terrible she is.”

Connor glances up from his laptop screen at 3:19 in the morning to see Zoe hovering at the edge of the stairs, hugging herself. He pauses the YouTube video he was mindlessly watching and pulls his earbuds out. “Why are you up, Zo?”

She shakes her head. “Couldn’t sleep.”

He wonders if she’s really that tired and out of it that she didn’t notice the nickname slip. “Why’d you come down here?” he asks. “Do you need like…food or something?”

She shakes her head again. “You’re always up.”

Connor can’t argue with that one. He still hasn’t figured out how to force himself to adopt a normal sleep schedule yet. He’s working on it, but every few weeks it gets really out of whack and he has to start all over. It’s a process. An annoying one.

“Do you…want to talk about it?” he asks slowly.

Zoe hesitates. “I kind of just want to sit,” she says.

Connor sits up and swings his legs off of the couch. “Then sit.” He scooches over as far as he can so she can have all the space she needs.

Zoe curls up on the other end of the couch, leaning against the armrest and wrapped up in a ball.

“Are you sure you don’t want to talk about it?”

She nods. “Yeah.”

He frowns.

“Go back to what you were doing,” Zoe murmurs. “I don’t want to bother you.

Connor looks to his YouTube video. He hadn’t been all that invested before but he’s even less invested now. After a few minutes, he clicks the search bar and looks for a composer, one he overheard Zoe talking about the other day that she supposedly really likes.

He’s not sure if he should know her favorite composer or not. He’s not really sure how any of this works. He just hopes he gets the name right.

Connor listens to songs while checking in on Zoe every few minutes out of the corner of his eye. Eventually, he finds a song that seems calming enough and unplugs his headphones, turning his laptop volume on low.

Zoe looks over to him in surprise.

Connor just shrugs and stuffs his headphones in his pocket. He clicks over to a new tab and does his own thing as the music plays.

Zoe moves closer as the song ends. “Can I…?” she trails off, gesturing to his laptop.

Connor blinks. “Oh yeah, sure.” He pulls the YouTube page back up before handing it over. He rubs his eyes as Zoe looks through the recommended videos.

He’s startled by the first note of the next song.

“Sorry about that,” Zoe apologizes.

“It’s cool.” Connor runs a hand through his hair. “Just tired.”

“You should sleep,” she mumbles.

You too. “On this couch?” Connor asks. “Fuck that.”

Zoe moves to hand Connor his laptop back.

Connor pushes it back towards her. “Keep it. You’ve got better taste in music.”

“You finally admit it,” she murmurs.

He pulls his legs up onto the couch and crosses them, letting his thoughts sink into the music. Zoe does have a nice taste in music, at least when it comes to instrumental band music. He glances over to her at one point and she’s nodding along to the beat, swaying back and forth with some of the dynamic changes.

Connor gets a weird feeling in his chest. Zoe’s hair is longer than he thought it was and she has circles under her eyes. She looks tired and he doesn’t think he can blame that on just tonight.

He has the overwhelming need to protect her. It’s weird.

“What’s this?” she asks, tilting the screen and pointing to a video that shows up in the recommended videos column.

Connor squints at it. “Some comedy sketch. I just kind of let YouTube run on autoplay when I’m out of it and weird shit starts showing up in my recommended videos.”

Zoe purses her lips before scooting closer. “I wonder if it’s funny,” she says as she clicks the video.

Zoe falls asleep on him about six videos later, when they’ve somehow gotten to a video on the top ten animated villain songs. Connor shuts his laptop and sets it on the table in front of them, careful not to move too much so he won’t disturb her.

It’s around 1:30 when Zoe stumbles out of bed and down the hallway, barely throwing the bathroom door open in time to bend over the toilet. She wipes her mouth with a tissue and flushes the toilet, grimacing.

Gross.

She groans as she sinks to the cold tile floor. It’s nice against her hot skin, but doesn’t change the fact that everything hurts and is awful right now.

And she thought she was maybe getting better.

“Zoe?” Connor asks softly.

She doesn’t turn away from the toilet, just lifts a hand in acknowledgement.

“You okay?”

Zoe takes a few slow breaths before she says, “I’m okay.”

“Here.” He flicks the light on and sits on the side of the tub. “Not going to school, huh?”

Zoe groans. “Please…”

Connor gives her a weak smile and yanks a hair tie out of his hair, his hair falling out of its ponytail as he does so. “Here.”

Zoe takes it and pulls her hair up into a messy bun. At least it’s out of her face now. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be. You’re sick.” Connor leans closer and presses the back of his hand to her forehead. “And burning up. Shit, Zo, when did you take medicine?”

“Um…” She scrunches up her face. “Before bed?”

Connor looks up as he does some math in his head. “Yeah okay, you can take more now.”

“How long has it been?” she asks.

“Like nine hours.”

Zoe blinks. “Are you sure?”

“Sleep is weird and so is time.” Connor stands. “Do you think you can come downstairs with me or is staying hunched over a toilet a better idea?”

Zoe slowly gets to her feet. Connor grabs her arm when she wobbles a little. “I think I’m okay. I’ll be down in a second.”

“I’ll be in the kitchen.” Connor pauses in the doorway. “If you fall, just start yelling or something.”

“Sorry for waking you up,” she calls after him.

“You didn’t,” Connor promises.

Zoe brushes her teeth and stares at herself in the mirror for a minute. She looks like a corpse. She hates being sick and all of her homework is just piling up into a terrifying mountain of death.

She also feels like she’s going to pass out.

Water is good.

She leans heavily on the railing as she climbs downstairs, following the trail of lights Connor left on into the kitchen. He’s drinking orange juice and sitting on the island. He’s left out a medicine cup filled with purple grape flavored lies. Zoe scowls as she picks it up.

“Bottoms up,” Connor says, lifting his glass in a toast. “Actually wait.” He hops down from the island and opens the fridge, pulling out chocolate syrup. “Go.”

Zoe huffs and downs the medicine, trying not to gag.

“Open wide,” Connor says, uncapping the chocolate syrup.

Zoe opens her mouth again as Connor squeezes chocolate syrup in. Then he does the same to himself.

“You didn’t take medicine,” Zoe says.

“I’m taking care of you,” Connor says. “This is my payment.”

Zoe rolls her eyes. “‘m fine.”

Connor gives her a look. “Sure.”

“I’m almost an adult, I can take care of myself.”

He shudders. “Don’t remind me.”

“Why? Is me being an adult that scary?”

“No, it reminds me that I’m an adult.”

Zoe laughs. It turns into a cough and Connor pats her back until she can breathe right again.

“My laptop is still hooked up to the TV if you want to illegally watch Disney movies,” Connor says.

Zoe nods. “Yeah, that’d be good.”

She curls up on the couch with a blanket because now she’s too cold even though Connor insists her fever is up, and takes a water bottle from Connor when he hands it to her over the back of the couch. He pulls up Princess and the Frog without Zoe even having to argue that it’s way better than Lilo and Stitch.

“Thanks,” she mumbles. “Was I supposed to take that medicine with food?”

“Not sure,” Connor admits. “But here.” He holds out a box of Saltines. “Found these in the back of the cabinet. Bland, salty, and white. Just like me.”

Zoe snorts as she takes them from him. “You aren’t that bland.” She opens the box. “Don’t you have school in a few hours?” Connor shrugs. “Whatever.”

 At 12:36, Zoe pulls open the front door. Connor ducks his head as he squeezes past her and into the house.

“Thanks,” he whispers as he pulls down his hood. It started raining as he had walked home and now all of him is a little damp.

Zoe crosses her arms. “Where were you?”

“Out.” Connor moves to go into the kitchen. He needs something warm to eat or drink right now. He can’t feel his hands.

She grabs onto his jacket, yanking him backwards. “Seriously?!”

Connor sighs and gives in. “Can you let me, like, get a snack? It’s not a big deal.”

“It is if it involves you sneaking in and out.” She shoves him. “I thought you were getting better than this.”

“I am,” Connor snaps. He jerks free and stalks off to the kitchen. He pulls open the fridge and stares at its contents, which doesn’t help the fact that he’s freezing.

“Here.” Zoe grabs a container of leftovers out of the fridge and shoves it at Connor. “Those are going to go bad. If you’re going to be midnight snacking, at least eat something we need to get rid of.”

“Closer to one am,” Connor corrects. “Round up.”

Zoe glares at him.

She continues to watch him with an unimpressed gaze as he heats up pasta from last week in the microwave.

“When did you sneak out?” she asks when there are fourteen seconds left.

Connor pulls the microwave door open before it can beep. “About nine.”

“Why.”

He ignores her and bumps her over to get to the silverware.

“Connor,” she says warningly. “I won’t help you sneak in and out if you won’t tell me what’s going on. There’s nothing stopping me from getting mom or dad right now.”

“You wouldn’t,” he says flatly.

Zoe takes a deep breath.

“It’s none of your business,” he hisses.

She scowls. “You making me let you back in makes it my business. Why didn’t you bring your key? Come on. That’s basic.”

Connor shrugs. “I left it at Evan’s my mistake.” He focuses on his pasta and tries not to look at her.

“Evan’s?” Zoe asks. “You haven’t been over his house for like…two days. Besides, you had your key earlier…today…”

Connor stuffs his mouth full of pasta. She can’t question him if he can’t talk and he can’t talk if he’s eating.

There’s a long pause that gives him far too much time to chew the way too big bite of pasta he took.  

“You were at Evan’s?” Zoe asks softly.

Connor nods and continues to not look at her.

“Why?”

“He needed someone,” Connor mumbles. “His mom was at work and Jared was working on a project and Ev didn’t want to bother them.”

Zoe sighs. “You could’ve just told me that.”

“It really wasn’t any of your business. And besides,” he meets her eyes, “you assumed the worst.” Which stung more than he was willing to admit it did.

Zoe shifts uncomfortably under his gaze. “Yeah, I did. I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine,” he mutters. He stabs a piece of pasta with his fork. “It’s whatever. Thanks for letting me in.”

“Always.” Zoe clears her throat. “You can always like…tell me stuff. If you need to. I know I’m not like… I know it’s different but— yeah.”

Connor glances at her. “Yeah.”

It’s 3:44 in the morning when Zoe wakes up with a cramp in her calf and an incredibly dry throat. She practically stumbles down the stairs as she tries to walk off the cramp and bumps into the doorframe when she tries to enter the kitchen.

She grumbles to herself and rubs her shoulder before flicking on the kitchen lights. She blinks in surprise. “Connor?”

Connor looks up from where he’s sitting on the floor, hair messy and face streaked with tears.

“Are…are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” he mutters. His voice sounds hoarse.

Zoe hesitates. “Do you— Can I do anything? To help?”

Connor presses a hand to his forehead and squeezes his eyes shut.

“Connor?” she asks softly. “Are you sure you’re alright?”

He takes a shaky breath. “No.”

“What can I do?” She steps a little closer. “How can I help?”

“Just…stay. For a minute.”

Zoe sits down on the kitchen floor an arms length away from Connor. She’s supposed to be good at this comforting thing, but now that she’s here she has no idea if she’s supposed to do or say anything. She settles for just sitting in silence, because that’s all Connor wanted. For her to be here.

There’s probably something deep in that, but she’s tired.

“I’m sorry,” Connor chokes out after a few minutes.

Zoe furrows her eyebrows. “For what?”

“Everything.” He buries his face in his knees. “Everything,” he repeats, voice muffled.

Zoe takes a breath. “I’m not leaving,” she promises as she stands up. She pulls two plastic cups from a cabinet. The colors are faded and old but for some reason, their mom hasn’t thrown them out yet. She fills both up with water before joining Connor on the floor again. “Here,” she says, holding out one of the cups to him. “Hydration is important or something.”

Connor looks up to her with watery eyes before taking the cup. He wipes his face with the sleeve of his sweatshirt. “Sorry.”

“I just got you some water,” Zoe says. “It’s not a big deal. And it’s what I came down here for anyway.”

Connor stares down into his cup. “Still.”

Zoe sighs. No time like the present. “I accept your apology,” she says. “I don’t forgive you for everything, and I don’t think I can, but I accept your apology and I want to move past it. Look to the future and all that stuff. I… I want to help, Con. If you’re okay with that.”

Connor sniffs. “You don’t have to do that.”

“Yeah but I want to.” There were years where she had just given up and she’d stopped thinking he could get better. And in the end he proved her wrong. “I offered to.”

Connor takes a deep breath. “Don’t. Not if— it’s not worth it if you’re going to be like mom and think this is fixed quickly because I’m sick of pretending I’m better than I am.”

“I know,” Zoe murmurs. “I want to know if you’re actually okay or not. I want to know if I should be worried or… You’re my big brother. I just want you to be that.”

Connor’s face crumples and Zoe puts her cup down on the floor before taking his cup from his hands and putting it down next to hers. She touches his shoulder. “Connor?”

He pulls her into a tight hug, burying his face in her shoulder.

For a moment, she’s frozen. She can’t remember the last time they hugged. Or the last time that it felt real.

Zoe hugs him tight as they sit on the kitchen floor, the sun not even above the horizon yet. She still doesn’t really know what to say. Because she doesn’t actually know if things will get better. She wants to hope, but years have made her cynical and that’s really sad for her to say as a seventeen year old. So she just hugs Connor until he’s ready to let go.

Then they sit on the couch and watch Lilo and Stitch together, illegally on the first site that doesn’t threaten to give Connor’s laptop a virus. And she doesn’t even argue against it.

[sopewriters]

Superhero!Hyunwoo

I’ve been wanting to do this forever. Because fun :)

Ok, before I start, can we pls appreciate what an amazeballs superhero Hyunwoo would be?

Like mhm, I’d totally tap that what no I said nothing

Anyway, so you and Shownu have never met

You’ve seen him on the news a couple of times

He usually looks uncomfortable when the interviewers ask him questions

Like, he’ll be biting his lip all the time and awkwardly shuffling his feet

And you usually think ‘and this guy is a superhero???’

But you’ve seen footage of his work

Usually huddled under the covers of your bed pretending some city out there in the world isn’t getting ripped to shreds, but that’s not the point

He’s really, really powerful, and you know that enhanced strength is just the tip of the iceberg

But that boi has got them abs, not that you were staring creepily at them or anything

with hands pressed to your flaming cheeks at 2am in the morning

screaming your lungs out into your poor pillow

course not

the pillow deserved better #savepillows2k17

you sort of high-key wish you could meet him one day because damn

but at the same time, you remember your track record with talking to guys

ha…ha…ha…

okay so apparently, we have to talk about that part of your backstory that you’d rather repress for ever

like ugh, you actually still get cringe attacks because of those experiences but fear not, it’ll be quick

the first time you had a crush on someone, it was in the 7th grade

like, he was really cute (from what you remember anyway, you were like a 2-year-old then ok??) and he played soccer like all the cool kids, and he danced really well and I’m talking about god-level

and you and he never really talked ‘cuz you were terrified

like what if you said the wrong thing and he hated you forever????

besides, he was always hanging around 6 other really cool, really popular dudes

well, they were hanging around him, but details, psh

and one day you finally mustered up the courage to actually talk to him

you knew that he’d go to the basketball courts by himself to practice after school, all the time

so you decided to hijack  intrude visit him half an hour in

coincidentally, he was walking over to the side of the court then, reaching around to get to his water bottle

and you sort of froze then, all of your previous determination gone, dissolved like the salt in his sweat

which is a weird comparison but whatever, you get the idea

and you still can’t move when he turns around, surprised brown eyes meeting yours

“do you…need something?”

and of course your dumb brain had to malfunction then

and you knew instinctively that it’d make you blurt out something stupid

something like:

“oh, I just came to shoot a couple of hoops.”

which would totally have been cool if you could actually….y’know, play

which you didn’t, if that wasn’t obvious enough

so you rushed to do some damage control

“but, you’re obviously occupied so I’ll just come back another time haha!”

yeah, you actually added the ‘haha’ in

he just looked at you all confused like as he was prone to do

being like “uh, no, you can use the other half of the court.”

And you were like ‘nah, bro, you don’t have to.’

trying to not embarrass yourself any further

but he just shook his head, picking up his ball

“you know what,” he said, determination lacing through his words, “let’s play together.”

you were a bit busy then admiring how cute he looked like that, before you realized what the actual fuck he just said!!!

“no!” you blurted out in panic

“but you don’t have a ball?”

Well shit, he was right and you hated yourself so much

dumb. freakin'. brain.

“i…’ you stuttered, ‘gotta go bye!’

and you actually ran away, i kid you not

that year was a good year of avoidance

by which I mean you avoided the crap out of Hyunwoo and his friends

and once the school year ended, you were lucky to never see him again

yay!

anyway, coming back to the main story at hand

you’ve never really met Shownu and you really don’t want to embarrass yourself in front of him

you’re actually an intern at this popular news agency, but you never see the light of the day during work hours

before we start, no this is not a Lois Lane-Clark Kent romance I promise

because that’s lame, and Shownu totally doesn’t wear his underwear on top of his pants

omg what if he doesn’t wear them at all with that skin-tight leather

so the one day your boss decides to let you do some field work, you jump at the chance

of course, you’re not actually one of the writers on the main page, where all the action’s at

in fact, you’re going to be at a sports event, mainly because the actual reporter who’s supposed to cover it is sick

so chance!

and you go all determined like

yas, I got this and no im not terrified wut you talking about

it’s a racing game or something, basically a bunch of cars going really really fast

and you find it kind of boring tbh but take down notes like a good reporter because you don’t want to get fired

that’s when everything goes wrong obvs

because this is your life here hello

knocking on your door and being like lol did you think I forgot about you

so when you’re in the process of clambering down the stands to grab some actual action (not that kind, kids)

there’s a large squealing sound and oh shit, two cars have crashed

you know it’s like a given in the sport, but it’s still horrifying to watch tbh so you kind of call the 911 equivalent of your country

being like heLP IT’S AN EMERGENCY WE NEED SOMEONE

and lo and behold, Shownu comes to the rescue

since he can actually fly, holy shit, he manages to pull out the unconscious drivers from the wreckage all heroic like and fly them all the way to the hospital and get back

and by then the remaining brain cells you’ve got have withered away so

like an idiot

you scream out to him, being like

SHOWNU I LOVE YOU ❤

oK so maybe I’m exaggerating a bit

but you do the equivalent of a confession

in public

to a superhero

said superhero actually hears you

and flIES OVER TO YOU HOLY SHIT

his mouth quirks to the side all confused like

bad person you’re not supposed to stare at his lips

but you swear it looks familiar

only theres no time for your crazy detection skills to come to light

because heY HIS HAND IS AROUND YOUR WAIST

ALERT ALERT ALERT

HEART MALFUNCTIONING BRAIN MALFUNCTIONING WHAT IS A LUNG

and he literally sweeps you off your feet, landing on some building at the edge of the city

and your heart cant take this

he’s totally going to kill you isn’t he

but then he takes off his mask

and you balk

“I remember you” Hyunwoo says

“unfortunately” your mind supplies

but you only manage to get out half-garbled words

akjhfjhbkajns

he just stares at you like a lost puppy and wow he hasn’t changed

“you always were cute”

And you die

Happily and forever

ok, that’s a lie

Shownu gives you a lil’ peck on the cheek

and then you die, of happiness :)

Written By: Midnight

[gaygajeel]

Yes! The ways Fairy tail does anatomy wrong! Thank you :3 ( Sorry about that, I'm really nervous D: )

its ok!! im glad to be able to help out with this kind of stuff

this got pretty lengthy so its gonna be under cut! heres some links that may also help, i dont think i forgot anything super important?

i have a general art ref tag on my main , general arm references

how to draw breasts video (nsfwish of course) , foreshortening

figure drawing tips

hands for drawing (3d models of hands you can play around with (warning it greets u with a torso model that has a ding dong out))

how to connect legs to the torso (highly stylized,but good things to keep in mind)

while some things can vary from style to style, i bolded the basic rules of anatomy if you dont wanna stick to just realism. mashimas style is actually closer to realism than a cartoon, most exaggerated things arent style but anatomy problems. things of his that are stylized for example are the eyes. he actually has really got down how to make eyes bigger than usual and not have it look wrong/bad.

first and foremost, the most noticeable thing in many ft drawings is the boobs.

boobs are not perfect circles for one. an important thing to remember when drawing boobs is that gravity affects them. when standing upwards, boobs will be pulled downwards and a fold against the skin is noticeable. this of course changed depending on the pose of the character, such as if they are lying down they will lean more towards the sides.

the best thing to coach yourself on making sure the boobs arent too big is to make sure they are not bigger than the head. 

while boobs do jiggle during many forms of exercise, having a female character not have good support for their breasts is very... unrealistic, as most ppl with boobs tend to get aches from this sort of thing. different support can do different things though. sports bras typically keep The JiggleTM to a low, while there are special bras for pushing up your breasts to make them look bigger & cleavage more noticeable.

other factors to take into account: boobs are attached to skin that go up to the arm pit, so if the arm is more upwards this can affect where the boob is as skin is tightening. boobs are soft, but not jelly.

boobs arent smack dab on the chest unless the before mentioned push up bras are in play. they hang about, but also dont go on the abdomen, they basically dont go over the rib cage.

also, nipples come in all different kinds of sizes & placements but are typically 2 head lengths down and the angle is outwards.

the torso

hips & waist are big issues in ft. hips typically shouldnt be bigger than shoulders unless part of character design/body type

waists shouldnt be too much smaller than ribcage. a good thing to remember is that your character is supposed to have organs in there. unless they are meant to be malnourished or have a very skinny body type, avoid it. looking up diagrams of muscles & organs around there helps me define how big this portion should be.

there are all kinds of body shapes, especially with feminine characters. typical ones are hour glass (small waist), diamond (large waist & hips, sometimes actually bigger than shoulders), rectangle (hips, shoulders, and waist are basically the same shape), triangle (small hips & waist, big shoulders, the common body type for guys), inverted triangle/pear (small shoulders & waist, big hips)... the list goes on and on, really.

even when you have abs, when you bend over your skin folds/rolls up. its natural! 

male & female musculature isnt really much different from one another. what differs is the bones & fat placements.

since you have stuff in ur tummy, i wouldnt say it bulges out but its certainly not just a straight line. its more noticeable if theres tight clothes involved, the area is showing, or its a side view.

legs/thighs

thighs gaps are not as common as you think. thighs support much of our body and are meant to be big as theres lots of muscle & fat.

you cant really have big thighs & big thigh gaps like mashima makes it. sometimes it kinda looks like he gives them hip dyspepsia honestly. basically, you either have skinny thighs & a gap, or thick thighs & no gap. while some ppl may be uncomfy with this part, its also important that you know how to define the crotch, gap or not. this is much easier with vaginas than penises though and vaginas you can get away with just a V between the thighs.

the thickness of the thighs affect how big the ass will be (thicker thighs = bigger butt).

half of body is legs while the other half is torso & head.

knee placement varies & depends on body type, but is normally about in the middle of the leggo.

other notes

an easy way to make sure the size of your hands are right is to compare it to the characters face. when putting the beginning of the palm on the beginning of the face/chin, fingers end a bit above eyes or eyebrows. this is something that can vary as well, such as if you want a character to look creepy you typically give them longer fingers.

necks are meant to support the head. while drawing them smaller than usual is a common part of lots of peoples drawings, you want to at least make sure your character has a neck that wont easily snap. necks are about the size of your head, as if you feel up it it stops at your ear. there are only certain types of bodies this can go well with, pearl from SU being a good example because she overall has a very small body type.

theres a difference between flexible & wrong anatomy. someone may have a back that can easily bend certain ways, but there are limits. bones & muscles will limit you.

fairy tail has odd ear placements in which they tend to go above the eye even in face-forward views- avoid that. putting ears around the same place as the nose tends to do the trick, with ears ending around eye level.

if you want to intentionally give a character supper skinny arms like mashima does, this has to go with the body type, and it also affects how visible the collarbone is.

ft has a really weird habit of making reeaallly angled collarbones. collarbones start a bit below the neck (neck muscles coming down to them), and go to the shoulder. collarbone visibility depends on body type as mentioned before, and the pose of the character. you wont see the collarbone of a character with an arm reaching up. often times when the characters posed is relaxed, the collarbone will actually just look like a straight line.

not sure if this really counts as anatomy but mashima makes hair look like ribbons at times when they are 2 completely different textures & materials. hair goes all about, not just one solid direction.

the lower the eyes are, the younger the character looks. placement of eyes is actually really important when it comes to age.

when drawing a character with muscle, make sure you think of weight & depth! dont just give them lines where muscles should be, or you get.....Noodlebuster. muscles are heavy & defined.

arms typically stop at hips (when saying arms i am excluding hands). this can be a very hard thing to maintain when having your character do dynamic poses, so the foreshortening video linked above should help with that.

unless its part of your style, legs that look like straight lines are gonna look funky (when looking at a skeleton you see the bones are more curved)

mashima tends to make the back of the head wayy too big, and this really makes his neck problem evident. 

i really wish i could make diagrams & drawings of my own to help get the point across better but its late, so if you want me too i can put that on my to-do list!

[lunarpeach12]

Unimportant

When I say I feel unimportant I know that i’m not.

I’ll feel alone forever till my insides rot.

When I wanna be someone’s first choice, for something other than using me, 

I know it’s wishful thinking and I never will be. 

I’ll always be that person who’s left on the back burner,

while more fun and important things are front runner.

Wasted days waiting for your attention,

wondering if I just don’t have a pretty enough complexion. 

The only important thing about me are the little toes,

but you’d both be better off without me, I know.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I hate feeling this way, and It’s hard to tell myself that i shouldn’t feel how i feel at all, i know youre going to be mad if you read this so, maybe you shouldnt. but i need to get this out before i explode and you know this is the literal only place i can go to. but I hate that I can’t be happy anymore. Im really happy he has friends now, and that he does all of this really fun stuff and goes out and isn’t alone and sad in his barracks. But like, I can’t help but be so sad about it constantly. I know it’s unfair so i try not to be upset about it but i can’t really control my emotions right now and every day it feels like there’s this hole in my chest and it grows bigger and bigger. i have so much resentment that is spiraling so out of control and i have to keep bottling it up and forcing it down because no one cares and the more i open my mouth to him the further it draws him away so, thats never an option. But it just seems that everything he says hurts me so much. he went on about how his friends were like a family and they look out for eachother and they love eachother and it just like kinda crushed me because i dont even feel that with him right now. i feel so on my own with everything till i get up there, im so stressed out. i compromise and i compromise and im so fucking sad. I get his whole in person thing but i literally wanted to be in person three months ago and now i have to just wait and wait more and more. i cant fucking take this shit anymore. All i see is how happy he is and im not there so whats the fucking point. im here drowning, my friends treat me like shit, and im alone. no one likes me, as usual, and hes so content without me there. i just want his attention. he goes and rescues his friends an hour away in the middle of the night but ill be lucky to get even a small conversation out of him. My whole life ive been left out of literally everything, my friend group pushed me aside and made me a background friend unless they needed to use me, i was never treated like an artist in art because derose hated my work and blatently excluded me, the play kids i was close with would talk over me because i wasnt directly in the case, when i was in the cast i was made fun of and forced to have the ugly costumes no one wanted because i wasnt in theatre class, and then theres marching band. i used to talk ab how much i loved it and i did, but even in marching band i was treated like a background character, when i was an officer i was bullied by people like Katie fucking McNamee, Olivia, Reed, and their crews for being a sophomore captain, i didnt get credit for a lot of the work i put into it, and my entire year as drum major i was bullied, treated like shit, and underappreciated. And now, i feel so left out of everything with you. I wanna have nice friends. i was supposed to be your family but i guess its alright they are instead. just once though, i wish i was included. I thought this would be my chance to be, but i guess its not. i know a lot of this is rediculous and im just pregnant and jealous but everyday i wake up alone and every day i have to be pregnant alone, and it hurts so much. no one asks me how im feeling, no one checks up on me, im in pain and it hurts so much to move. my body aches every night from pushing myself, im so stressed out, eating makes me sick and i have to force myself to go to work sick because if i dont eat its bad for baby. the whole deal was if you got me pregnant youd be here to take care of me and help me and im all alone for the first four or five months, at that point youve missed half of it. youre not here to rub my tummy, your not here to kiss me better, youre not here to remind me its going to be okay, and everything is completely falling apart. Everyones hurting me so much here and you dont seem to care about being away. i offer to pay so you can come but since we cant get married you didn’t even wanna, you wanted to spend the weekend with your friends. and thats alright and i know i have no right to be mad about it but it hurts so much when you didnt wanna come just to see us and hold us.  and now youre gonna be in the field for ten days and i havent even really spoken to you, the last time i heard your voice for more than a couple seconds was before your last ftx, unless you count the call you broke up with me. so i know im not gonna now. i just, i miss when you made time for me. but i know that didnt make you happy and i know you hated it, but driving home in silence when i used to be talking to someone so important to me every single time breaks my heart. i miss when you used to get mad at me for not answerring me. i miss feeling wanted. 

im so unhappy and lonely and hurt and theres literally nothing i can do about it but sit in my room and cry all of the time, and this all hurts so fucking much. 

everyday i wake up and dont see a point, im in pain, and i just keep going for bean but i know it can feel all of this that im feeling and it hurts me to be putting it through this. 

everything hurts so fucking much. 

[idkitshiro]

Mar.11 ,2017  2:23 pm

as im trying to looking forward, a part of me is whispering failure.. can I make something, something beautiful, something inspiring, encouraging? to spread a heartfelt smile on somebody’s face, reassuring whoever is behind their computer screen there is reason, no matter how stupid or small it is, to laugh or smile. I want to remind people how video games are really meant to be played, what creates the pro environment and  competition in the first place, showing them how to have fun with their video games, showing them how to enjoy spending their free time so that its at least not wasted. If I can leave at least one thing to take away and let people know they feel reassured, loved, supported, not alone then all the time I put into the videos im making have been worth my time.  Acts of kindness, sportsmanship good cheer. Make them feel like holy crap this makes me want to play this game

Here i go as I just write down whatever im thinking about:

some of the funnest games I really enjoyed playing as a kid: Super Smash bros melee: at first had all my favorite characters from different games EVER , kirby, pikachu, mario, all these nintendo characters like Link, Fire emblem’s marth and roy, so much variety Pokemon: such a fun adventure, not having much access to the internet , the world was magical, every corner was a new surprise. There were random Pokeballs on the floor, instances where your in game rival would show up and challenge you to a battle with his own unique pokemon.  the pokemon I had felt unique, the team I had felt special and I bonded with these pokemon. I didnt have in mind what my friends or any one else who also played the video game what strategies or pokemon they thought were good and were their own personal favorite. The competition element fair and exciting because there weren’t many popular guides or communities and forums that people were aware of. Internet spoiled the fun because it exposed many of the surprises and secrets of the game. It almost was as if there was a person sitting next to me telling me how they already beat the game, caught all 150 pokemon telling me which pokemon were trash and not worth my time, the perfect IVs and proper way of how to make the strongest team possible. Though they may be right it totally killed my joy for the game, stripping of the surprise and wonder element video games used to hold as this now apple is to almost every other video game. and altho the right answer is to not focus and compare my self to the people surrounding me its like someone standing right behind me saying video games are FAKE, WASTE OF TIME. So spending my free time trying to  Man people need to pay less attention to how others are spending their time playing video games. MANNN you’re winning if you’re enjoying your time having fun whether kicking ass, accomplishing a hard puzzle or challenge, discover something rare on your own again i guess thats added to your personal merit, get a good laugh, listening to good music, reminds you of something important to you whether its through story telling and the music, whether its learning more about experiences and other people around you. Theres so much video games could teach you, what you could learn from. like many other hobbies or people like to do on their spare time, video games are another outlet of creating happy memories, memories that could be shared with the people we love. I find my self exploring all these different video games to try and remember why I fell in love with video games when I was a lot younger. What made it so exciting and fun, and when I let something else rob me of that joy. I remember when I was in elementary school my brother and I had our own Gameboy Colors. I had purple one given from my Auntie and my brother had a neon Green gameboy color that was given from our grandpa’s brother, i guess granduncle. Both of us had our seperate Pokemon version where Pokemon Red was my first video game ever and my brother had Pokemon Yellow.  anyways my mom would only allow us to play for an hour or two a day and I just remember my sister wanting to play pokemon too and so I let her play mine, and althouhg i wasnt playing I really enjoyed watching them just play. I felt so happy that we were all able to play together even if I was just watching my brother thumb through his starting Pokemon team in Saffron city. Idk why thats so vivid. We had to share alot things growing up, rooms, 1 hour turns on the computer, hand me down clothes, Gamecube turns. i remember i bought a tv plugin game which was star wars/ spongebob that didnt need a console. it had 5 games in it , but crowding around the small tv in me and my brothers room playing video games together.. i miss that so much. i just wanted us to get along and have fun. 

god i always hear people saying that their entire life they were losers and the bullied kid, but did they ever have a fanny pack with 100 calorie Special K bars on 1,000 diet imitating their favorite Taijustus specialist? (Rock Lee Image) I used to be obssesed with my eating only 1,000 calories a day because I was pretty chunky in middle school. One time in PE we had to do our quarterly mile run and I remember always dreading these big days. Every week we had to run around the track for 20 minutes, no walking, and see how many laps you could run in that time. We were graded on how many laps we could run, 6 laps was  D , 7 Laps was a C , 8 Laps was a B, 9 and more was an A. I dreaded every single week for these 20 minute runs, but I celebrated super heavily after it we were done. I was always super nervous and anxious thinking about these days because I always forced myself to do my absolute best. I hated the thought of competing with the people next to me. I used to run 10 laps and my best being 11 laps, which I thought was insanely good. The fastest was I think 12 or 13 laps but they werent in my class. I suppose I felt proud of what I accomplished, my classmates thought I was fast. I would wear shorts everyday in middle school. In 4th and 5th grade I used to run 3 miles every day in the summer with my grandpa and sometimes my sister  because I came home one day from a a Dr.’s Checkup saying that my cholesterol was pretty high. Seperate from my school’s 5k I only entered one 5k run with my grandpa who did the 7k run. I felt horrible because I was just overweight and I didnt find myself that attractive. God, especially when your older brother was more handsome had abs and biceps since 5th grade.  ashjdkasld yeah this is where my self esteem issues come from, but anyways, I was complimented on my  buldgy calves. They were pretty big, for a big boy like my self. I remember one time when runnign the 20 minute run I always thought about falling over and getting hurt so I didnt have to run, mentally I wanted to just stop myself from pushing my body. ashdbjnka My best mile time was 5:37 by the way. When it was raining and they made us stay inside our school’s gym, playing dodgeball. I WAS SO HAPPY. I would pray that it would rain enough so that the track would be too wet where we all the PE classes would have to walk around the basketball quarts and then the other  half o the class would have to play basketball. I WAS ALWAYS SUPER EXCITED. Those were the best days regular days of school. of course not more exciting than Game days, honor-roll Bingo , or field trips of course AHAHA One time I brought I red chocolate balls that I got from people standing in front of safeway that were wrapped neatly in this plastic bag. I gave some to my friends before we ran, thinking wow we could be just like Choji and his ration pellets. Jesus. It was just concentrated choclate balls of sugar.   -- It was pretty good tho. Middle school was awesome. I did whatever I wanted no matter how uncool people thought it was. I thought that just doing what I loved was the coolest thing ever. I used to read the Shonen Jump manga magazines and I was reading the YugiOh Gx weekly chapter and Jesus H. christ it looked so fun. The next day I talked to my friend who was fanatic about Yugioh and he helped me create a deck. The next two years FUHHHH our whole friend group was playing yugioh. It felt like some anime, going home editing decks, dueling in my friends garage drinking cans of Dr. Pepper and honey Twisted BBQ chips. Playing some Halo 3 and Pokemon Stadium 2 on the side. IT WAS SO FUN. When we would have a party in class or potluck I’d get 4 cups of Pepsi, Plateful of Doritos , Lays and Hot cheetos and my friends and I would whip out our decks. Living the life. At the time the Wii , xbox 360 and itouch were very popular. I didnt have a smart phone til the end of my high school and wasnt until my freshman year in high school that I bought my own prepaid phone and minutes and texting plans. anyways the only console my brother and sister i had was teh game cube so these consoles were treasures whenever I would go over to my friends house after school. there was also this one time in middle school where our homeroom teacher allowed 4 people from our AVID class, and at the time I thought AVID students were the smartest collection of indivuals in our school, to go around campus picking up recyables such as cans and bottles so we could sell and add to our class field trip fundraiser. At first our teacher assigned us only 10 minutes and expected us to comeback. 10 minutes of missing class was amazing. My group of friends and I felt so free, so powerful, passing the doors of other classrooms and students, walking where we shouldnt be. And when we would comeback she would reward us with homemade cookies. HOLY, our teacher was so kind. I cant remember if this was a daily thing, but we did this each time we had class. But every time we would come back deliberatly a little later. From intially 10 minutes we started coming back 15 minutes later, then 20. And I kid you not we started going out “recycling” for the entire class period which was about 50 minutes. IT WAS AMAZING. And we may had been in middle school, but we werent dumb. We were AVID students. Advancement via indpendent determination. We were the futures most brightest, up and coming. So we were thinking if we could somehow find more cans and bottles to fill up our garbage bags itd be more than enough reason to explain why we were coming back later than we were orginally suppose to. So initally we would invite ourselves to other classrooms tell the teacher ‘we’re reclying, dw , were supposed to be here’ and go through their blue bins and take whatever cans and bottles we can add it to our bags. Then we started looking at the larger reclye bins in the shcools court yard and just take all the bottles in their. Realistically it took no more than 5 minutes to fill a garbage bag filled with cans and bottles, but we would spend the rest of our vacation racing each other on our school’s track and kick each other on the school’s monkey bars. Jesus. it was so fun. my life feels pretty defeated right now, so I just wanted to share with