#im an Adult now i don't need snapchat

[mundifinis]

getting a new phone tomorrow and it's officially the restart i need for the new year

[toxicanonymity]

Toxic: this is from 🎃 anon who kindly asked about writing something for me. this is amazing and it starts after cucking stepdad with another Joel so read that first. so many references 😭 💗

Anonymous asked:

Halloween here! Here's my lil fic just for you. I had fun rereading both Joels' fics and tossing in some inside jokes and hopefully captured their mannerisms and speech (dialogue is hard for me). Thank youuuuu!:) (also ur the genius not me lol). SDJ=Stepdad Joel

Joelkemon Universe What If?

(what if you met up with Thighs after your latest cucking fun) BY HALLOWEEN ANON

1.5k, thighs out!Joel x f!reader, cuck!SDJ

After the three of you come off your high, SDJ shuffles into the pool’s bathroom/locker room to clean up. He doesn’t come out for a while, and you and Thighs Out swim around a little and you chat and flirt together. You find out he's staying at the resort for two weeks partly on vacation and partly for work. He's a sports agent for a very famous golfer who now in old age is more famous for their spokesperson work for the resort and makes surprise appearances in the course for golf fans.

You both agree to meet for dinner that evening at the nicest restaurant on the water. “If you need anything in the meantime, sugar,” he brushes his thumb against your lip and you sigh. He looks up past your shoulder and his eyebrows go up. “Just give me a call.” He kisses your hand and nods his head, calling over your shoulder “Take care buddy!” to SDJ who just came back from the locker room and has a permascowl across his face. He looks between the two of you and shakes his head. “For god’s sake”, he mutters under his breath and huffs off while you lay on one of the chairs, soaking up the sun with your book. 

You tell your mom and SDJ you have dinner plans with someone and your mom says something like “good for you girl!’ but SDJ's jaw drops and he blurts out a short "No!" and then covers his mouth. Your mom laughs and smacks him in the chest. "Oh c'mon hon she's an adult. Don't be such a square.” You hear them leave while you're in your room getting ready.  

You change into a snug, lacy swimsuit coverup that could pass for a dress. You put on a new, skimpier swimsuit underneath and some strappy, tall sandals. Thighs sends you the name of the restaurant and you send him a mirror selfie from the bathroom. “Damn, sugar 💦 Don’t keep Daddy waiting 🦪” You mentally agree to yourself to send him at least three nude selfie that night during dinner. 

At the restaurant Thighs treats you to drinks and the best meal you’ve had the whole vacation. He asks about SDJ’s deal and you tell him the abridged version of your history. 

“Yeah, he sounds like a-” 

“Jackass, I know” you sigh. 

“I was gonna to say a dumbass prude, but that works too." He leans back and takes a drag of his vape (🍃) and blows it out to sea. "No way I could stop myself if you were under my roof. Hell, no way I'd wanna.” He licks his lips. This stirs something in you and you feel your core pulse under your dampening bikini bottoms. He passes you the pen and you take a huge hit.

“So, do you want to fuck him? No judgement if you do.” He puts his hands up defensively. You hesitate and he laughs.

“Alright..do you want to fuck with him?" You decide he's onto something and you both start plotting.

You move to the bar of the restaurant after dinner and the sun has almost set. You send SDJ a snapchat pic of you holding your near empty margarita glass in front of the sunset. He opens it but immediately notices a glint of light on your chest: it's a very familiar looking gold chain. He immediately messages you to Take That Off and Who Took That Picture. You ignore him and ten minutes later he sends you a link to a stunning and extremely expensive Zeels diamond necklace and message that just says "please" and “im sry”. Maybe we're being too hard on him you tell Thighs. “You could be harder on me,” Thighs pouts jokingly. “You know I’d be happy to return the favor.” You smile and tell him to close his eyes. His eyebrows shoot up and he grins, eyes closed. “Okay, you can open them.” There’s something soft and hot pink sitting on the small bread plate he didn’t use from dinner. Thighs out drops his jaw, for once since you met him, he is speechless.

You text SDJ a thumbs up emoji and a selfie of yourself without the chain. You're leaning over, giving him a decent view of your tits that he came to not four hours earlier. 

SDJ tries to video chat you and you decline the call. He calls you and you pick up, "What is it now?". "Just missin' you s'all." SDJ slurs drunkenly. Your mom made friends with a bachelorette party so I'm in the room…alone…" He sounded more pitiful and sultry. "Look" you say, cringing at how pathetic he sounds. "The only way I'll even think about giving you another chance is that you prove to me you're sorry. For being such an overprotective, prudish, selfish, cheating asshole." 

There's a long pause. "So you don't want to fuck me?" he whimpers. 

"I didn't say that" you say bluntly. He hears a loud laugh and woo that's my girl on your end of the phone. “Just wait for my text, ok?” you say. “‘Kay baby. Love-”. You hang up.

You send SDJ one last picture, this time over text, you’re in your coverup looking out over the bar's balcony at the beach. He replies with a picture of his bulge nudging his veiny hand while laying on the couch and a heart emoji next to his head.

Thighs and you head to the beach with two pool chairs after dinner. It's late enough in the evening that there are only a few people left straggling by the water. The beach bar is far but close enough that someone could see you two if they were really looking for something filthy. 

You really do feel sorry for SDJ. And you really do miss teasing him and sneaking around. But if you two are going to fuck again, he has to prove he was in the wrong. And if that ends up blowing up in your face you can at least blackmail him. It’s a win-win for you either way.

You lay on the chair as the evening cools down your skin. Thighs holds your phone with one hand and with his other peels your coverup off and unties your bikini. He kneads your breasts, continuing to point your phone at your tits and face. "Are we filming?" you purr at him. "Hell yeah, baby. And you look like a fuckin' star." You blush and he chuckles, rubbing his inner thighs off camera where his swim shorts end. You flop back in the chair and he grinds his shorts and his growing dick outline into your core. A little bit of trimmed pubic hair peeks out from the tent in his shorts standing almost at full attention. That show is just for you however. He keeps your phone's camera pointed at your jiggling breasts and face screwed up in ecstasy. "Say stop," Thighs growls as he grips the fleshiest part of your hip and thrusts his covered erection into your dripping seam. "M-more!" you loudly beg and arch your back. A few silhouettes at the bar look in your direction. This only makes your nipples harder and you grind quick little circles into his crotch, aching for some friction. "Be patient, baby. You can do it. Tell your Stepdad your offer." he smacks your bottom playfully as he continues to record. You blush and turn away from the lens, biting your lip and say, "I will forgive you, if you do something for me." You look into the camera lens. 

"There's room service and a box being delivered to your new room, you can thank him [Thighs Out] for covering the cost, in about an hour.” you say. “Open the box and text me if you're game or not. Talk soon!" you wink and the video ends. You send it to SDJ and he texts back "Anything for you. I'll pick up the key now." 

Thighs Out kisses down your neck and sucks your nipple while manhandling your ass so much it starts to feel sore. "Wanna come to my suite, sugar? That is if I can take my hands off this sexy fuckin' ass of yours." He jiggles it while playing with your bikini straps and slowly ties them back up. You nod your head yes and pull on your coverup. You both walk back to the main road in the resort and take a shuttle bus to the expensive side of the resort. You find yourself back in his room, legs splayed and laying on your tummy completely bare. You wiggle against the soft white comforter, Thighs already rubbing your ass and murmuring in your ear. "Do you want to wait for him before we record?" You shake your head and say, "I'll still want to even if he doesn't."

"God I love your energy, baby." Thighs presses a hard kiss into you and carnally licks your mouth. He breaks it off to grab his phone and opens the camera app. 

"Let's get started, baby girl. Let Daddy teach you what a real cock can do."

-------

Toxic: Ok the "woo that's my girl" took me out 😭 like ik it's my line but the context is so perfect and you can just imagine stepdad hearing it on the other end of the line. 😭 Also I 100% imagine thighs out being no-judgment, very in character.

Thank you, 🎃 anon 🖤

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[family-video]

Introduction

Hello, not sure if anyone would ever read this but I'll say it anyway. I'm tired of living like this. With AI, constant modernization, instant gratification, all of it. I know I'll sound old and bitter, but bear with me. Im 23 years old, and over a decade of my life has been owned by the internet.

When I was 11, I was given my first tablet. I used it mostly to play games, but I began obsessively scrolling on iFunny and Tumblr. If I wasn't doing that, then I was watching Youtube. I spent hours on it every day, cycling through the apps. Then when I was 13, I got my first smartphone. It somehow got even worse. I had access to every social media now, and I wanted every hour of my waking day spent scrolling on Instagram, snapchat, twitter, everything and anything I could download. I spent my years like this until I was 18, and COVID hit.

As I was bored in quarantine, I finally realized something-I felt empty. I was no longer surrounded by anyone, I had no one to prove myself to. I turned off my phone and reflected for awhile, and realized how deeply I missed life before social media.

Before I turned 11, I was truly living. And the world felt alive with me. Some might argue that perhaps I only felt that way because I was a child, but I disagree. I know there was a shift there. When I was a kid, before the internet entered my household, I woke up on the weekends- and did nothing. There was no phone to grab and immediately scroll on. I would lay, look at the ceiling, or glance at the ticking Hello Kitty clock mounted on the wall to know if it was too early to get up for the day. Once I was up, I would sit at the table and eat my breakfast. I would read my books, play on my DSi, or play with my littlest pet shop figures. I would go outside to blow bubbles, or sit in front of the TV to watch SpongeBob.

Then if my parents felt like going out to eat, we would. We would go to Texas Roadhouse and not mind the long wait, and then go to my favorite place in the world- Family Video. In there I would spend all my time looking at the video games before renting something I liked and going home.

I don't know if this makes sense, but things felt so alive. The world felt almost sparkly. Everywhere we went was busy, but no one seemed to mind.

However, now, I feel like things are dull. Dead. Again, I do not think this is because I am an adult.

Now I wake up, and I immediately grab my phone. Even when I try my best not to, I subconsciously do it. I read through my unimportant notifications and scroll on TikTok or instagram reels before thinking "What the hell am I doing? I need to get up!" When I do get up, I eat my breakfast while scrolling on twitter, reading unimportant things like celebrity drama.

Then if my boyfriend and I don't feel like going anywhere for the weekend, we sit, and we scroll, and we watch YouTube, and play Roblox. (Yes, I am aware I am too old for that. But playing Bloxy Bingo with my siblings is too much fun.) And if we feel like eating out, we don't even go out. We simply order off DoorDash, sit, and wait. And I plan on digging into this "instant gratification" thing in another post, but I will say that it feels so dull.

Another thing too is that both my boyfriend and I have anxiety- and going out to stores doesn't necessarily feel the same anymore. Ok, here is where I will hear someone out if they say "well it's cuz you were a kid!". Is it just me, or after COVID did everyone forget basic manners? I can't walk into Target without feeling like I'm going to have a heart attack. Everyone is cutting you off abruptly, or walking so quickly behind you they're almost stepping on your shoes. And NO ONE says excuse me. Sure we don't have to, but it would be a little nice if I had a clue that you were trying to get past me in an aisle without bumping my shoulder.

This stressful experience leads me to want to isolate myself further. And as I head to the car, sweat dripping down my forehead from damn near running to leave, I get a notification on my phone from my crime app telling me that there was a super terrible tragedy nearby that instills the feeling in me that I need to stay home.

I need to stay safe inside, continue door dashing, continue scrolling.

But I'm done with it. I have felt the desire to abandon this lifestyle for a couple of years now, but this time im going to do it- and I mean it.

I am going to live like its the 2000s again.

Yes, I am aware that I could never truly go back to the way things were before. And there are in fact modern things I want to keep in my life. Modern interests, etc. But what I mean is I don't only want to quit social media (besides Tumblr so I can write), but I want to go back to some of the technologies that genuinely worked just fine. In an ever changing world, I can appreciate that we make technological advances every single day. But maybe we don't need to.

I know this is long, and again I am unsure if anyone read this. But if they did, sorry for the rambling, and thank you for reading my thoughts.

So without further ado, here I go- back into my imaginary time machine.

[artisinaltoxicwaste]

I'd also like to add on to this with some of my personal experiences as a recently diagnosed ADHD Adult.

Distractibilty often appears in the middle of conversations. ESPECIALLY with my SO. A typical conversation will look like:

Me: so I was chatting with friend earlier

Him: oh how are they?

Me: yeah they're going good, they mentioned that- oh there's that thing I was looking for the other day, im gonna put this where it belongs

Them: that's a good idea

Me: yeah I really need to get on top of organising these draws... ill do them later

Me: what were we talking about?

Also having two settings to conversation is very real. I'll have a conversation going in snapchat text and a separate snapchat conversation with the photo component and a separate conversation in fb messenger.. all with the same person at the same time. And sometimes I don't talk with them for a week.

Also I think it was briefly touch on but not specifically mentioned but Executive Dysfunction. I'm sure a lot of people are aware by now, but it is not the same as being lazy and can include Time Blindness. Im not sure how other Neurodivergent people experience it, but for myself, I could be sitting on the couch looking at my phone or literally just at the wall and I am not mentally processing anything that is infromt of me except the need to do something. Do I do the thing? No I do not bc im not capable bc my body is flesh mech and my brain lost the manual. Next thing I know its been three hours. Time Blindness also occurs when hyperfocusing on things.

I can't think of anything else to add.

Writing characters with ADHD…from someone with ADHD

(part two!)

since my last post with advice for writing adhd seemed to be well received by many, i figured i would do a part two.

again, same disclaimer as last time; these are just my experiences, and do not apply to everyone

Burnout. While adhd is usually known for its hyperactivity, a side that is rarely shown is the burnout from it. It is tiring. It can be frustrating. There are lots of days where you just want to sit alone in a quiet room.

People with adhd are usually master procrastinators. Seriously. I often put off tasks until the last possible minute, because my brain doesn’t find it ‘interesting’ enough without the pressure of the deadline.

Sitting down to do five hours of work and only being able to do five minutes is just as common as sitting down to do five minutes of work and looking up and realizing it’s been five hours

The ‘hyperactivity’ part of adhd looks different for lots of people. It isn’t necessarily bouncing off the walls, running around the room and disrupting everyone - it could also be fidgeting relatively unobtrusively

Speech patterns. While adhd often means talking fast, it doesn’t always. For example, I only tend to talk fast when really excited- but I talk a lot. There is a lot of ‘looping back’ on things that have already been said, and lots of ‘hey did i tell you-‘ ‘yes, you did.’

conversation with adhd has two settings, in my experience; simultaneously having and maintaining four conversations at once, or not being able to hold a conversation if someone else is speaking in the same room

Distractibility. This is the one im most tired of seeing in media. It is not just “hey so i was talking to Julian the other day about- oh look, SQUIRREL, LETS GO SEE THE SQUIRREL!’ *jets off to go see the rodent*. No. I feel like i speak collectively for adhd people when i say that we of that shit. What it is more like is; “hey so i was talking to Julian the other day- oh remind me to give him his textbook back- and he said that his brother told him- wait no it was his sister, anyway- she told him that…”

Coffee does not make all of us wildly hyper all the time. One coffee actually helps me focus.

We are not airheads. Seriously. Quit writing adhd characters as stupid, childish and incapable of doing important things. cut it out.

NOTE: as always, having adhd should not be a characters main personality trait. that is damaging representation, and really frustrating to read. an easy test is to remove the adhd and see if the character is still a fully fleshed out and in depth character. if they aren’t, congrats, you created a character who’s only trait was having adhd. however, if they still are a well rounded and interesting character without the adhd, you’re probably good!

[aquarianlights]

Hey there, I was wondering if you have ever ordered from zenniopticals or any other comparable website as you look really cute with glasses. If not you should definetily check it out! Not trying to promote them; I just wanted to give you this tip and you don't have to publish my question to your followers. I just placed an order there and it seems to be legit (at least I hope so lol). Have a nice day :-D

The glasses I wear in my my most recent pics are actually FROM zenni. Lol. They’re like…the 6 dollar pair and are like… purely 100% better than my $200+ professional pair I had for the longest time that I still can’t find. I’m getting another pair soon. Zenni is honestly the best place to get glasses and yes I can confirm they are absolutely legit and every single pair on there from the cheapest like 2 dollar pair to the fucking expensive like…. 20 dollar ones… Will last a lifetime and be the best glasses you have ever owned. I’m not even kidding.

For all you glasses wearers out there….zennioptical is a fucking lifesaver. I’m not kidding. And, yes, they are legit. And they do fit. And they do exactly what they say and they look exactly as they describe and look on the website. I’m buying ones with bright, see through turquoise blue in the back of the black rectangle frames. They’re fucking glorious. They have every shape and colour and size imagineable. For kids and adults. Any style you can imagine. I’m serious.

And they’re cheap and durable as fuck. And they come in a super nice case with a super nice cleaning cloth. Zenni is 100% legit and I love them to death and I am NEVER buying glasses from anywhere other than there.

And after you put in your prescription, they save it for you so you never have to hassle with it again until your own eyes change and you have to update it yourself. It’s VERY useful and very convenient and it has help tips everywhere on how to do it if your inept about optical stuff as I am right now. I have astigmatism so I am super confused about my prescription since I apparently have 20/20 but do not. It’s very confusing to me and I do not understand it at all. Nonetheless…. I put in my prescription…AND VOILA….get my glasses, they look perfect and fit perfectly and I can SEE AGAIN.

And yes they are 100% legit. So no worries anon. They are legit. The glasses I am wearing in my pics are from zenni. Not my old ones that changed from glasses to sunglasses depending on light and did all these ~super rad unnecessary things~.

Zenni is A++++++++ and SUPER cheap.

If you wear glasses, I’m not joking. Go to zennioptical. And they’re super quick with delivery, too. I was panicking coz I needed em super fast. They got to me really fast. I think 2 or 3 business days after I ordered em?

I FUCKING LOVE zenni and yes. They are legit. The low prices make them seem like they’re not but they literally sell SO MANY TO SO MANY PEOPLE that they make HUGE PROFITS so I mean……. there’s a reason they’re such high quality and so cheap. And they really do last a lifetime. I’ve had these over a year now. And I fucking love them. They’ve been through hell and back. Maybe over 2 years. Probably over 2. Maybe 3. I’ve dropped them, stepped on them, thrown them, fucking accidentally threw/dropped them down a flight of steep concrete stairs while two large dogs pulled me down them during a walk….. And man. The ONLY thing that’s ever happened to them is they have spots on them from when I was doing spray paint art and purposefully pointed clear spray paint at myself coz it wasn’t working and was clogged and accidentally pressed down and it sprayed my glasses and now there are shiny spots on my glasses from clear spray paint residue that sometimes make it look like holographic rainbow flashes now and then but I barely notice it anymore. But no scratches, cracks, or ANYTHING….after ALL of that. And YES I have dropped them straight onto fucking pavement before. Plenty of times. I’d say at least 30 times. Probably way more than that. So….

I’m not lyin when I say zenni is the way to go for glasses. I’m only getting a second pair because I want a “non professional” pair and a backup pair for if I lose or break these. Because I wanted a black and see-through turquoise rectangle pair to begin with….but went with straight thick black rims for professionalism. So I’m getting my backup pair as the ones I wanted originally. Which are a little more expensive. 12 dollars. But not bad at allllllll.

For fucks sake guys seriously.

Don’t go blind….GET ZENNI. COZ UH. THEY’RE AWESOME????? Yoooo I could legit browse their site for hours coz a lot of them are so damn gorgeous and I waannnnt.

Thank you for spreading the word though! Never thought to spread the word myself…. Coz my glasses ARE from zenni. So I just kinda….assumed everyone already knew….. but assumptions are stupid and the people who make them are ignorant and need to change that behaviour. So thank you for making me aware I made an assumption. Coz I wasn’t aware I had until just now. Awesome!

Yeah no seriously. If you like my glasses….. They’re from zennioptical. No lie. 6 dollars. Lasted me well over 1 year. Probably close to 3 now. Get with the program. I’m about to get my second pair. And yes they are legit. And yes they are secure. And yes they are AMAZING. And yes they have EVERY SINGLE STYLE, COLOUR, SIZE, SHAPE….. BASICALLY ANYTHING YOU COULD EVER THINK OF, DREAM OF, WANT, AND/OR NEED…..im not kidding.

Don’t believe me? Go look for yourself.

You’ll be trapped looking at glasses for hours. Lmao. :p

The post above this shows some of my selfies with my zenni glasses.

This is the only one I have saved to my computer (of course it’s one of the few I have with no filer that has a story behind it as to why it has no snapchat filter) that has my zenni glasses in it. They’re great!

Also, I just now noticed you CALLED ME CUTE SO AWWW THANK YOU. Drunk me who is the one who posted everything above this photo last night did not notice you called me cute but sober me is now noticing you called me cute and wanted to thank you. c: Me, rn, after you said that: