#im always afraid someone is bothered by how im tagging stuff lol

[thisismeracing]

hello can you pls add the f1 x reader tag to your ask answers too 🩵

Hi, love! I totally can, I'm just afraid to spam it, the 'mick schumacher' tag I switched to only "MS47" because I scrolled there and I felt like the number of stuff I posted (asks) could bother people, idk......

Do you want me to use the tag so other people can find it too, or?

[neeksknocks]

50 questions you’ve never been asked

tagged by @bakuqou , tysm for the tag!!

1. What is the color of your hairbrush?:  navy blue

2. Name a food you never eat?:  uhh i’m not a super picky eater but i don’t think i’ve like, ever had asparagus 

3. Are you typically too warm or too cold?:  too warm, i get hot way too easily

4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago?:  trying to brainstorm for writing stuff but mostly staring at the wall

5. What is your favorite candy bar?:  anything that’s like cookies & creme that shit slaps

6. Have you ever been to a professional sports event?:  nope lmao

7. What is the last thing you said out loud?:  “wash your fucking hands” to my brother (love u tal)

8. What is your favorite ice cream?:  hmm probably cookies & creme

9. What was the last thing you had to drink?:  water

10. Do you like your wallet?:  i guess? idk i wish it had a pocket for change though

11. What was the last thing you ate?:  soup

12. Did you buy any new clothes last weekend?:  nope

13. The last sporting event you watched?:  my friend’s soccer game in freshman year of high school

14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn?:  there are different flavors???

15. Who is the last person you sent a text message to?:  “you deserve it” which sounds vaguely menacing lol but it was because my dad’s girlfriend was telling me about how she was talking a break during work

16. Ever go camping?:  yep! not in way too long tho i miss it

17. Do you take vitamins?:  not in years but i should

18. Do you go to church every Sunday?:  nope lmao

19. Do you have a tan?:  kinda?? idk i’ve been going on a lot of walks so i’ve kinda gotten one but im still very pale

20. Do you prefer Chinese food or pizza?:  both are very yummy 

21. Do you drink your soda with a straw?: i don’t really drink soda anymore but when i did i would in like restaurants 

22. What color socks do you usually wear?:  usually black or grey

23. Do you ever drive above the speed limit?:  i can’t drive  😔✊

24. What terrifies you?:  not 2 get too deep but i’m very afraid of being misunderstood/lied about for things of my control. also not a fan of flies. why? i have no idea

25. Look to your left, what do you see?:  my retainer 

26. What chore do you hate?:  dusting

27. What do you think of when you hear an Australian accent?: i always confuse australian and british accents they sound the same

28. What’s your favorite soda?:  again don’t drink a lot of soda anymore but when i did rootbeer was my shit

29. Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive-thrus?:  usually when i go out to eat it’s with friends so usually we go in

30. Who’s the last person you talked to?:  in person my brother, over the phone my partner

31. Favorite cut of beef?:  i don’t. know what this means

32. Last song you listened to?:  rehab by people planet bc im listening to my theo decker playlist  😔✊

33. Last book you read?:  the goldfinch by donna tartt back in september (i’ve been looking at the humans by matt haig for like 3 months now but i haven’t. read it)

34. Favorite day of the week?:  i don’t really have one anymore but it was saturday when i was in high school

35. Can you say the alphabet backwards?:  i can get as far as y and then you’ve lost me

36. How do you like your coffee?:  i don’t drink coffee really but when i have had it i like it with oatmilk or coconut milk

37. Favorite pair of shoes?:  my favorites are these black platforms that give me like 5 extra inches, but the shoes i wear most often are my black converse but they have holes in the bototm now 😔✊

38. The time you normally go to sleep?:  i’m not working rn bc of quarantine bs that happened with my old job so rn like 3 AM but i used to go to bed at like 9 when i would have opening shifts 

39. The time you normally get up?:  used to get up at like 3 or 4 AM usually but recently like. 10 or 11

40. What do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets?:  like them both but i feel like sunsets are usually prettier?

41. How many blankets on your bed?:  anywhere between 1-3

42. Describe your kitchen plates:  black 

43. Do you have a favorite alcoholic beverage?:  i don’t have a favorite bc i think alcohol is gross but when i drink it’s usually just straight up vodka

44. Do you play cards?:  not really

45. What color is your car?:  i don’t have one

46. Can you change a tire?:  i was a theatre kid in high school what do you think

47. Your favorite province?:  no clue

48. Favorite job you’ve ever had?:  uhh my last job ig (i worked at jamba juice) it was really good for my mental health for the few months bc it kept me busy but it started to be really bad for my mental health last few months 

49. How did you get your biggest scar?:  most of my scars are close in size but my three biggest are one on my inner forearm because uhhhhhh but it’s pretty faded, one on my right hand from burning myself on the oven at jamba but it’s also pretty faded, and one on the top of my right foot (that is Also pretty faded) from the floor of my ex boyfriend’s pool (it was new and sharp somehow)

50. What did you do today that made someone else happy?: i gave my friend some advice on something that was bothering her i tag!: @deadnamed @the-moldiest-of-doodles @medicatedpiss @pavlikovskie and anyone who wants to do it !

[cowboyarc]

tagged by @lostnoise​ ty!!

1. do you prefer writing with a black pen or a blue pen? black pens, because in english they always asked us to use blue. and english was awful for me so no blue :p

2. would you prefer to live in the country or in the city? city, i lived in the bumheck middle of nowhere for 18 years and hated it.

3. if you could learn a new skill, what would it be? oooh, i really want to get better at the guitar, or learn to sword fight.

4. do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar? Yes, but very very little.

5. what was your favorite book as a child? I dont remember having a favorite book? but my dad had this whole story written out and he’d use that to tell me bedtime stories. it was so cool.

6. do you prefer baths or showers? Showers, i am get anxious in baths? i feel weird just sitting there.

7. if you could be a mythical creature, which one would you be? d-r-a-g-o-n-s. in my dads stories that i mentioned above? there was an elf that was a half-ling and could turn into a dragon.

8. paper or electronic books? I dont read much? but definitely paper.

9. what is your favorite item of clothing? a ramones t-shirt my dad bought me on a business trip once. (its the rocket to russia album)

10. do you like your name? would you like to change it? I friggin hate my name, i wanna change it so bad but i dont know to what.

11. who is a mentor to you? i um.. dont have one?

12. would you like to be famous? if so, what for? I don’t know if I want to be famous, i’m very private person, but i guess if i had to maybe like a jenna/julien type of deal? like his aries kitchen series.

13. are you a restless sleeper? Very Much Yesss, I’m move so much.

14. do you consider yourself to be a romantic person? no... i’ve never had the opportunity to be?

15. which element best represents you? I’d say fire. maybe?

16. who do you want to be closer to? probably a couple of people? i dont talk to many people? but physically? my best friend i miss her a lot.

17. do you miss someone at the moment? my best friend, audi and alex and thier dogs, and my pops.

18. tell us about an early childhood memory. a lot of my childhood wasn’t the greatest? so i dont remember a lot of it? but i guess the bedtime stories my dad would tell

19. what is the strangest thing you have eaten? fried kool-aid with powdered sugar from the south carolina state fair.

20. what are you most thankful for? um.. being able to have a place to sleep/and food?

21. do you like spicy food? ohhhhh yes, its all i grew up on. audi’s ma is chinese and she cooked the best food all the time. and gave me sooo much.

22. have you ever met someone famous? Not that i remember

23. do you keep a diary or journal? i’ve tried several times, but i stop pretty fast, because i have nothing to say or the way i write starts to piss me off.

24. do you prefer to use pen or pencil? Mechanical pencils

25. what is your star sign? Aries babbey.

26. do you like your cereal crunchy or soggy? Crunchy? um... i know that maybe the crunch would be hard on some peeps teeth, but not in my house.(crunchy)

27. what would you want your legacy to be? i dont tend to think that far ahead.

28. do you like reading? What was the last book you read? i wish i did? its really hard for me to find a book that will hold my attention, and audio books are not a fun time for me because some sounds/voices i cant handle like that.

29. how do you show someone you love them? im definitely more of physical/small gestures kinda person. i’ll buy/make them little gifts, or offer cuddles (if they’re cool with touch) that type of stuff

30. do you like ice in your drinks? very little if at all, i only drink water, hot tea/coffee, and i dont like iced tea/coffee at all so.

31. what are you afraid of? um... nothing really that i can think of

32. what is your favorite scent? im very sensitive to smells, but i really like this sandlewood body wash i have.

33. do you address older people by their name or surname? soooo... i grew up in the south-south. so it was always yes ma’am, no sir, mr. smith, ms. jones. like even if someone was like call me betty or whatever it was weird to do that. but i’m slowly getting away from that since i moved away.

34. if money was not a factor, how would you live your life? I’d really like to help people, not sure in what capacity but yeah.

35. do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean? i did grow up about 40 mins from the ocean and would go there all the time. the water was gross and i wish the waves had been better, i’ve always wanted to surf proper. so ocean i guess.

36. what would you do if you found $50 in the ground? probably see if someone comes back for it? prob give it toward food or something for someone

37. have you ever seen a shooting star? did you make a wish? okay so audi’s house was prefect for star gazing and we’d do it all the time and we saw a couple over the years, and got torn up by misquitos.

38. what is one thing you would want to teach your children? dont want kids, but i’ll prob be a godparent eventually so just to be happy and comfortable with themselves.

39. if you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it? I have several but the next one I want to get the doom symbol with my pop’s birthday (probably in roman numeral cause that look best) and whenever he passes his death date. a little morbid but ive always wanted that cause its his fav game.

40. what can you hear now? animal crossing, netflix (hannibal) and my smuckers pb&j wrapper lol (strawberry ofc)

41. where do you feel the safest? uh... my room sometimes?

42. what is one thing you want to overcome/conquer? a lot i dont wanna talk about.

43. if you could travel back to any era, what would it be? the 70s/80s to go to some concerts i guess

44. what is your most used emoji? im on pc so i have no clue, but the shaka sign 

45. describe yourself using one word. sarcastic

46. what do you regret the most? there was a girl and we didnt have a lot of time together because i was leaving and i hurt her i think, i apologized later but that doesnt make it okay so yeah i hope shes doing okay.

47. last movie you saw? I watched the new animated Scoob! movie. i loved itt, scooby doo is my shit always.

tagging: i dont know i dont wanna bother folks, if you see this and it catches your fancy :)

[acrispyapple]

50 more interesting questions

Rules: fill this out and tag at least one person you’d like to know more about! Or just fill it out! Or don’t! Answer only some of them! Make up your own questions! “What kind of requirement is that”, you ask? A reasonable one! Who am I to tell you what to do? Anything goes!

Tagged by @incorrectmidc i had this open for days and i answered a few questions per night lol @o0w0o and @deathbymidnightcinderella  <3

1. What kind of food can’t you stand? spicy stuff and umm food loaded with exotic spices / herbs

2. If you could choose one minor inconvenience to never have to deal with again, what would you pick? my mouse ending up double clicking after a year or so

3. Have you got any useless talents? i have way too much trivia and animal facts. plus random skills with no practical use. oh and playing the piano is also a useless talent for me since i don’t really “use” it

4. If you were really really good at one thing, what would it be? my answer isn’t an “if” thing lol. i have a really good memory. it really helps with mostly anything i do + it makes studying easier. but sometimes people think it’s creepy that i remember little things about them, they think i keep notes about them or something lol-- but i really do just remember.

5. Name a few people you think are extremely good-looking - umm neil caffrey (matt bomer) from white collar, nick burkhardt (david giuntoli) from grimm, daniel shaw (brandon routh) from chuck -- i seem to have a type haha. omg i forgot jo in-sung. i’ve always thought he was handsome! 

6. What was your favorite way to pass the time as a kid? i was a pretty boring kid. i just read books, watched cartoons, and organized things. as a kid i’d look at my toys but never really play with them because i liked seeing them all set up nicely. i just kept collecting stuff i liked. the most i’d do that’s remotely active was play with my dogs

7. What is something you’re proud of? i do well academically and i learn fast. and somehow i’m proud of how i’ve remained the same over the years.

8. What’s one character flaw in people that you just can’t tolerate? i don’t know if this is considered a character flaw but i really dislike poor manners haha. it drives me crazy when people open their mouth while chewing or if it’s too noisy. i die a bit inside. besides table manners and manners in general, i dislike people who are rowdy during inappropriate times.

9. Do you consider yourself to be more of a leader or a follower? both but to avoid stress sometimes i just want to follow. i’m a bit of a perfectionist / rule follower so i get frustrated a lot. i know not everyone is like a machine but it’s hard with my ocd lol. and no this isn’t just me saying ocd like most people when referring to certain things, i actually do have it and i have medication for it

10. What kind of student are/were you? normal i guess. i got along well with people, i didn’t fail anything, and i never rebelled or did anything wild. it was uneventful lol. i’m still technically a student now, but i see it more as an adult thing.

11. Butterfly effect question! Has there ever been a seemingly minor decision you’ve made (at the time) that ended up having a profound influence on your life? i’m sure everyone has one

12. Name your most irrational fear/aversion well it’s not a fear per se, but i have an aversion to most asian food, sorta? the smell sets me off especially if it has a bunch of spices or herbs in it. my nose is just sensitive and i get affected easily by strong scents. but i’m fine with japanese food, maybe some korean and chinese stuff. for fears, iono, i don’t think it’s irrational to be afraid of spiders and big cockroaches ><

13. Are there any fictional characters you find especially relatable? a bunch haha but it’s mostly people associating them with me first. i’m not tsundere..... how dare they

14. If you drink, what kind of drunk are you? Alternatively, what sort of person are you at parties? i don’t think i’ve ever gotten drunk the way people imagine people getting drunk to be like. i remain the same except i get a headache. i don’t really change at all. and in parties i guess i just stay close to my friends. stranger danger lmao

15. Do you fall in love easily? Or does it usually take a long time for you to trust someone? umm no i do not. i mean i can trust them fine but i don’t think i can believe their feelings until they can prove it isn’t just a short time attraction. i’m in for long term stuff so i don’t really wanna waste time if it’s not headed there. but yeah currently in a long term relationship

16. Would you rather have one close friend or 100 casual friends? having fewer friends makes it easier for me to update all of them without getting tired of repeating the same story over and over haha

17. Do you consider yourself to be more of a slob or a neat-freak? always organized and no one’s allowed to touch my things haha

18. Describe a place (imaginary or real) that you would find incredibly cozy i’ve always wanted a seating area near a huge window with a good view, bunch of pillows, earphones + music

19. Do you have kids? If not, do you want them someday? nah i don’t think i can handle it. i’d probably go insane trying to control them and making them become my idea of what a person should be like

20. What was your favorite book as a child? the chronicles of narnia, still love it to this day because it’s really written well

21. Name one thing you just don’t get what all the hype is about WHAT IN THE WORLD DOES A FIDGET SPINNER DO -- yeah i’m sorry, i think it’s stupid

22. Name one thing that you think is tragically underrated i should have an answer for this but i totally forgot lol

23. If you had to be glued to a person for a month, real or fictional (who you have never met), who would you choose? since im in the midcin fandom i’ll just say byron

24. What’s something you’d like the chance to do someday? visit all the haunted places i’ve ever read about, and prolly explore old ruins. i was way into archaeological finds etc way back

25. Do you typically speak your mind when you have a controversial opinion? Or do generally prefer to not rock the boat? i try to say it in the most courteous way possible. i can’t keep it to myself because it would bother me and my mind would just dwell on it forever but i also don’t like offending people haha

26. What’s the dumbest fad you’ve been caught up in? sTiCkY cApS in chat (but i stopped after a month okay, and i was 12)

27. What’s something you thought was cool as a kid/adolescent, but now cringe at yourself for? typing in sTiCkY CaPs. kill 12 year old me pls

28. What’s a trait you consider to be very admirable? being kind and yet still firm when needed even when it comes to friends. i really admire people who don’t just blindly agree with their peers

29. Is there a particular kind of item people always tend to give you as gifts? (For instance, people always get you things with ducks on them because you like ducks, etc.) people give me stuff with owls, bears, hedgehogs, or stars because i love them. i also love stationery and pens. i like getting different colors and i never use them. i just keep them forever haha

30. Do you speak multiple languages? Which ones? i know a bit of stuff from other languages but not enough to be proud of it. i don’t want to be a poser and claim yeaaaahh i speak this and that lol

31. Would you rather live in the big city or the countryside? city please. i hate the quiet countryside. it’s like if someone comes to kill you and there’s no one around and you’d be all “this is why i should’ve been in the city with people everywhere”

32. Has there ever been something you were certain you’d hate, but ended up loving? byron wagner from midcin. when i first started and i saw him i was all, ehh eyepatch dude. so edgy. lmao. i even purposely skipped him during certain events and i regret that now.

33. Do you mind being the center of attention, or do you prefer the spotlight to be on someone else? i don’t want to be the center of attention, i’d feel awkward

34. Favorite holiday? the usual, christmas and new years eve... but i miss having an actual christmas where it isn’t summer...

35. Are you a more go-with-the-flow type of person, or do you need to have things planned meticulously? i always have a plan lol

36. Is there something you loved so much you wish you could forget it and experience it all over again? (A tv show, book, series–anything.) hmm, i can watch something over and over with no problem. all good

37. What hobbies do you have? reading (but it’s mostly fantasy and sci-fi), watching crap, annoying my dogs, playing video games, making stories in my head. I WISH I COULD WRITE AND DO IMAGERY WELL. oh well

38. If you could have a superpower, but it was only mildly useful, what ability would you want to have? the ability to moisturize instantly, one click. that’ll save me time daily

39. Something people are always surprised to learn about you that i like video games and anime lol. and that i’m happy to talk to them T_T

40. Something that took you way too long to figure out i still don’t know how to knife. how to knife~ i mean how to slice things or chop things or do anything in the kitchen

41. Worst injury you’ve had? is it considered an injury when you’ve had to get 4 major surgeries in a year? i mean i guess tending to / waiting for the surgery scars to get better can be considered an injury since it took a while and it was sorta a pain

42. Any morbid fascinations? umm, i can’t think of one

43. Describe your sense of humor i don’t really know lol. i make a lot of jokes and sometimes it breaks the mood for people lol

44. If you had to be born in another era/place, which would you choose? i really like princess stuff but the real medieval stuff would be dirty people who don’t take baths and really horrible stuff so maybe just the fantasy version of that + high speed internet

45. Something you are irredeemably bad at not rambling when i really like something. to the people who’ve ever had to listen to me whenever i got excited about something-- i’m sorry

46. Something that sucked but you’re glad you went through going to a nature retreat thing 3 months ago or something. i had no internet and it made me cry inside but i guess it was fine

47. Would you rather have a really godawful ugly tattoo in a place that is only slightly inconvenient to conceal with clothing (upper arm, thigh, etc.), or the coolest, most beautiful tattoo ever in the middle of your face? (Neither tattoo can be removed or concealed with makeup, and the ugly tattoo will deeply offend anyone who sees it.) i don’t really want tattoos in general so i guess the ugly one.

48. Are you more of an optimist or a pessimist? optimist

49. What would be the most flattering compliment someone could give you? something that isn’t physical or shallow. i’d be really happy if people noticed my achievements or if they liked something about my personality-- or if they found me funny lol

50. Something you feel people often misunderstand about you that i’m not nice lol because i keep to myself unless spoken to irl + that unimpressed scowl i always have. it’s like my default facial expression!

not forcing anyone to do it since it’s very long, just tagging for the sake of tagging! and i think most of the people i know have already been tagged? i’ve seen this tagged post done by most of them lol

@ashnable @nimmywik @captiveotomeprincess @otometrashcan  @princessdiarymdc @arimii @madamemalfoy21 @kinkymint @oh-my-otome

[edrecoveryprobs]

RE: Anons (finally!!) 1-8

In this post:

#2: How to handle surgery-related diets

#4: our fave recovery blogs

#5: dealing with bullying about vitiligo

#8: Recovering through the transition to college + how to challenge romanticizing ED thoughts

[CW behavior mention]

1. hi, sorry to bother you but I'm nervous I might have an eating disorder? I've been hospitalized for malnutrition in the past, but I just wasn't eating enough. the behaviors now are like binge purge restrict so on so on. I've been eating about [x] calories a day now because I want to lose weight without binging/ purging. should i tell someone about this, or is this normal?

FAQ #3 but yes definitely tell someone who can help!

2. I have to have a endoscopy/colonoscopy in a few weeks, and the prep for it has me completely on edge. In order to have the procedure done, I have to eat a restricted diet for a week, not eat for [x amount of time], and then take a super powerful laxative. My doctor also recommended I go on a weight loss diet, even though I'm still at a healthy BMI. After being recovered for several years, I've been struggling with a relapse, and I'm afraid that this will push me over the edge. Any tips on how to deal?

Sorry this is so late! Here’s advice for anyone else in your situation.

First, tell your doctor! Ask which elements of this are most important, and which can be worked around. Your ED is a complicating condition, so they should really know about it -- they’re treating YOU, not just your colon.

Second, give your laxatives to someone you trust, preferably someone who lives with you. If you can, enlist their support with mealtimes as well. If you get really sad at the end of the meal bc you can feel yourself falling back into that old place, that’s okay. Have them remind you that this is temporary, and that food is not as black-and-white as your ED wants it to be. Cede responsibility for figuring out your intake to this trusted person. Also -- make sure no one lets you know your weight at any point! Perhaps they can tell you when you’re back at your normal weight but that’s it!! The less you can obsessively track, the better.

Third, get into therapy NOW. Once this diet is over and everything gets quiet is when the ED stuff really starts to hit. I find that usually my recovery phase is ½ as long as my restrictive phase if I’m in therapy, and 2x as long if I’m not.

Fourth, acknowledge that this is unusually difficult and that struggling with a difficult thing doesn’t negate all the work you’ve been doing for years. You’ve built a solid foundation that has a good chance of keeping you stable through this rough time, and even if that starts to crack you have those same foundation-building skills to get it back to good.

I hope things went well for you <3

3. your blog always makes me feel valid and safe. thank you.

You’re so welcome! I’m glad it helps <3

4. Hey!! Do you know of any other positive recovery blogs? Im too scared to look in the tags bc they're full of pro ana things :( I love your blog, thank you!!! ❤❤

Fyoured was my fave, idk if they’re still active though! There’s also scienceofeds but that’s mostly summarizing current medical literature on it. Edreocoverystarfish and clinicallydepressedpug are also great! You can also check out our reblog tag

5. I've been suffering from vitiligo practically my whole life and it's something that affects me both psychically and emotionally. My brother often makes fun of me because of it, his favourite name for me is ''Michael Jackson"

That’s so shitty of him. If it helps, siblings tend to be rather shitty as they’re growing up, because it usually takes like 15-20 years to learn the basic emotional skills it takes to really be there for someone you love. Some people (especially masculine-identified people because of the social penalties associated) take longer to learn or never do at all. That’s not your fault.

For what it’s worth, siblings tend to make fun of whatever your biggest insecurities are, because humans learn how to affect others’ emotions before they learn how to affect them positively. Mine was acne for a while, especially since I struggle with dermatillomania (skin-picking) -- my siblings would wait for a Papa John’s commercial of a pepperoni pizza, point to it, and say “hey look, it’s Selena! HA HA HA!!”. My sister was really insecure about her hair being parted exactly down the middle, so my other sister and I would make fun of her for that. What I mean to say is, it’s not about the vitiligo. It’s about your brother not having learned yet how to NOT be a rude little shit.

Also, there’s no absolute that different colored patches of skin are ugly or bad. Calico cats are so cute! Freckles are adorable! Winnie Harlow is so talented! Find reminders in your life and/or online that different isn’t bad, and that this difference can be jaw-droppingly gorgeous or heart-breakingly adorable or lovably cute. It’s all about how you wear it.

And finally, know that love is always a choice -- including self-love. Rather, it is a combination of tons of small choices. Am I treating myself with love? Do I talk to myself lovingly, the way I would talk to a friend who was in my situation? Do I appreciate what my skin does for me, pigment or no pigment? Am I cultivating a life full of things and people that validate that love? It’s hard at first, it always is, but once you start it becomes a really awesome habit. Here is a great place to start (adjust pronouns as appropriate).

Sending you lots of love <3

[CW poop mention]

6. Hi, this incredibly embarrassing, but I recently experienced some personal trauma and so I am having problems with eating... Mostly restrictive and the inability to swallow some foods. However, I am having some digestive problems, mostly issues with skid marks. I was wondering if this is common and if there is a remedy for it... This is the first time I have experienced something like this. Sorry.

First, I really honestly don’t think anyone goes through their life without ever getting skid marks lol so you’re not a freak at all. I get them from time to time and I don’t really have digestive problems. Usually it just means I need to eat more fiber or adjust the balance of my diet. Also, this might sound weird, but anal kegels might help! The anal ring is all muscles, after all, and if restricting is a problem then all muscles have probably atrophied a little bit, including those. And finally, it might just be bad toilet paper. There’s lots of kinds that are practically useless and turn into a pulpy mess instead of doing their damn job. If you’re at home, consider getting stronger toilet paper (2-ply etc) or carrying baby wipes in a purse or backpack. Black underwear can also help with the insecurity aspect.

7. I love your blog so much! It helps knowing what other people are going through while making it a little humorous. Stay awesome!!

:D will do!

[CW romanticizing relapse, negative body image] 8. I have been battling with my ed for [x amount of time] now. In [y]th grade I got so tiny, I felt so pretty. I had never been skinny until then. I gained a lot of weight from being on so many medications, and now I am at an average weight but I am so unhappy with my body. I still struggle with purging and skipping meals. I start college this fall and I am terrified that I am going to let ana control me since no one will notice. I just want to feel beautiful and I know I wont until I'm tiny…

Something I’ve been going through recently is trying to lovingly remind myself when these thoughts pop up: I’m not believing this stuff because it’s true, I believe it because I’m literally crazy. It’s somewhat counterintuitive, but those beliefs can really take ahold of you if you take them seriously. But it’s just a symptom of the mental illness you know you already have. It’s like if you were prone to visual or audial hallucinations -- they feel real. They look real. They sound real. Of course you’d believe there are lions chasing you right now, because all of the senses you usually trust are indicating that that’s true. But also, if you can use the knowledge you have to try to see past them, you can actually interact much better with your environment.

Facts: you feel unhappy with your body. You still struggle with disordered behaviors. You start college this fall. College represents a big challenge to your ability to keep ana under control.

Beliefs: I can’t feel good unless I am thin. I can’t help but do what my ED says. I must keep this all a secret. I can’t get any help.

In the past 5 years, there have been times you’ve felt happy. Even when you weren’t thin. State memory means it’s hard to think of times you’ve felt differently, but it’s just a fact about human brains that we can’t feel one feeling for very long without switching it up.

Also, I guarantee you that you weren’t happy then. It’s so easy to romanticize thinness -- we see thinness romanticized literally ad nauseam -- but it’s such an empty feeling to be stuck in your ED. It’s so hopeless. It feels so crappy to walk into a restaurant with your friends, to see them all laughing and having fun when all you can think about is how terrifying it is to order food and how much you want to run away. When I really think about how awful each moment is with an ED, how I’m constantly either freaking out about eating or dreading the next time I’ll have to eat, how I had to numb myself constantly because reality felt so bleak.... Thin just isn’t worth it.

And let’s be clear: thin isn’t pretty. It’s just thin. Thin people CAN be pretty, but so can people of size, and so can very muscular people, and so can people whose body shape is more average. And eating disorders will make you thin at the expense of everything your body needs to maintain itself. It’s like insisting that houses are only thin if they have columns out front, so you hack off the front door, peel off the siding, pry up all the furniture, and stack up this pile of garbage to make some columns. You’re better off with a column-less but functioning house than one full of holes and empty inside.

Before you get to college, look up the mental health resources. Sign up for counseling through your school ASAP!!! Counseling tends to fill up as midterms approach, so this way you’ll be covered in case things go downhill later. Also, TELL people you trust. This you must do even if everything in you screams not to, because everything in you will scream not to, because your ED brain is actually trying to kill you. The more trusted people you tell, the less you have to fight it on your own, and the more resources you have to fight it. ALSO, see if there is an ED support group or a body positivity group on campus. Being around people who can gently call out disordered thoughts is a huge relief! And finally, explore other things that make you feel beautiful. Some people like makeup, and seeing how much of appearance is just illusion. Some feel beautiful when they know that they are strong and agile. Experiment with your clothing. Cut or dye your hair. Now is the time to test out different styles, and those are so much more fun to work on than calorie counting.

Lastly, you have more to do than be tiny. Mice are tiny. 5 cent candies are tiny. Pinky toe nails are tiny. What can you do that’s new? That helps you learn? That’s helpful? That’s exciting? Ana ignores all of that because of an obsession with BEING one thing. But ana doesn’t know shit about all the weird, cool, funny, wild stuff you can do. Show her what she’s missing.

Best of luck to you, and if you find yourself struggling in college don’t be afraid to message us back. We’re here for you throughout your recovery process <3

[angel-nero]

11 questions...

I was tagged by @pureren @zaevran @glaspaladin @z-ayauitl and @kcgane ty so much !!! ♥

RULES: 1. Always post the rules 2. Answer the questions given by the person who tagged you 3. Write 11 questions of your own 4. Tag 11 people

my questions…

1. what’s the worst piece of clothing you own?

2. what’s the coolest piece of uh fashion that is so cool you can’t even wear to go out? lol

3.- what book have you read that you feel it has been the worst?

4.- What’s the healthiest meal you actually like?

5.- do you love keith kogane? (or vld keith lmfao what u prefer to use)

6.- something paranormal ever happened to you? if yea, what?

7.- do you get jealous easily? with who? (friends, popular ppl, talented ppl, the s/m)

8.- what’s the cutest thing you own?

9.- what are your favorite crisps?

10.- do you have a favourite drink?

11.- can you tell im hungry? what hobby you wish you liked or wish you did?

i tag: @kukinta​ @kittyr0se​ @heirith​ @liesfromsatansbuttcheeks​ @sheith-love-always​ @acequeenm​ @blessedkeith​ @lukaspatel​ @ke1th​ @ace-pidge​ @keith8​ but only if you want to!

TESSA’SS AND!! TAMI’S QUESTIONS1!!!

1.  Do you connect with people easily?

mmm, I don’t becos im a very quiet person and can be w u w/o talking at all and I get overwhelmed by convos I don’t care about also it’s kinda hard to win my trust and also interest lol. I’m nice tho, i mite not be enjoying myself but i’ll forev b nice w u.  

2. Did something good happen to you this week?

uH yeah, i’m doing things to improve my health, i did my uni exam, im frEE, i finally don’t have to go to rEliGIoUs classes aNYMORE and UH,,, i got a diet to win weight and its cool i get to eat ESQUITE LMFAO. i will see my bffs in friday and i have browney mix there i should bake but im lazy

3. What’s the personality trait that annoys you most in other people?

When people pretend to like something just 2 b friends w someone or ME, do you know we can be total dif and maybe still b friends if u cOOL. Ass kissers, hypocrisy, LIES LOL. I don’t like fake ppl at all.

4. If you could participate in any existing tv reality show, which one would you choose?

The ones where they change ur style and buy clothes for u 2 love urself and do ur hair and make up and buy u xpensive undies. I loved that crap when i was in secondary school lmao

5. What’s something you’re insecure about?

That I can’t be in one place without wanting tofuckin run, the fact that i can’t eat w ppl at all, that i have to go to the fucken gYM

6. What’s your favourite way to hang out with friends?

:’)) well,,, i go to my bff’s house or they come. If im fine then walk around my neighborhood cus it’s nice ahaha anxiety am i rite. oKAY, even if i get anxiety i like ice skating, or roller skating, i have a lot of fun. My friend want us to go to this pixies concert and im like :(( boo i love u

7. What’s your favourite fic trope?

lol idk,,,,, pining? mutual pining? no pining and they getting to know therngs im melttin sTOP idk…… it depends on whAT shIP. I just know i’ll read any fake dating of my otp. idk idk duuuude i legit don kno. It’s not a trope but i love crunchy feelings, showefjsid fksjnj its hard to talk about this im sOrry

8. What’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve liked in the past?

hahahahahaha my crush

9. What do you consider to be the best period of your life?

When I was 14. I went to parties more than i go to them now lol, i drank and smokkd w who where my best friends back theN i know it’s whack. we used to go to roller skate? all the damn time and did sleepovers and everything was funny, we practically lived together and my friend that was 16 drove us to places lmao,, everything was so good. but like, dont imagine me too wild i only smokd like 5 cigs in my life and hookah and we even broke one.

10. What do you consider to be the worst period of your life?

mpghgg, when i turned 15,,, in the middle of it everythin went to shit to the actual date. But im trying to change that

11. How did you meet your best friend?

I met her,,,, 11 years ago. Look, I usually have best friends in pack. I have 3 bffs at the moment, one of them sat next to me in 2nd year of primary school. IDK how i got to actually know my absolute bff tho but we did a lot of weird shit. we also met in the same classroom and she was my bff back then. The third one was also a frind but not so much during those years. Later i changed of classrooms and shit and bonded more when I was 14 w 6 friends and those r i did crazy shit w but we got separated and stopped talkin and they invited me to the club a week before my uni exam but i was high on meds and sick af. and never replied also going to meet em again at the club makes me nervous af tbH…. I have had a lot of super close friends in my life wTf. In my new school i have also 7 friends that r super close.And we’re also a pack of bffs. I actually had a hard time to use the word bestfriend lol, not bc of me havin a lot or anythin, i was just emo i guess

BEX’S QUESTIONS YOo

1. What’s the strangest nickname you’ve ever been given?

:))))))))))))))))))))))))) gabhole, gabaloney, TETI THAT SOUNDS LIKE TITTY. now ft Aztec secret 

2. Do you like to gossip?

UMMMMMM,, i dont like to listen to another ppl judging someone, I hate it and i normally tell them to stop. it depends i guess

3. Are you afraid of the dark? um,,, no but i dont like it lol

4.Have you ever been stung by a bee?

no, but i steppeddd on one. I also was pickin a tree and till this day i dont knoW wTF it was but i had something big in my middle finger and it fucken hurt like a bitch and i had A BALL on it UGHHHHH I HATE BUGS

Bigfoot or mothman? fucking none

Do you trust anyone with your life? i mean, idk

Do you have any habits you wish you could break? yEAH, to stop tweeting my mental breakdowns is one lmao. 

Would you go ghost/alien hunting? 

both tbh, who wants to break into abandoned houses w me, i live in front of one,,, i mean not so infront but in the row of houses infront of me lmao english whO? dude rosetta stoned by tool is my aesthetic, alien stuff. bex listen to it pls

Best pickup line? (you’ve heard or used on you/you’ve used)

u r the best chair *proceeds to sit on em* keith to shiro probably

Mint or fruit gum?

I dont like gum much cos it makes me hungry or thirsty. I also drink too much soda to fuck w mint stuff :(( say that to the mints i bought lol :( i only eat halls or gum bc im nerves w ppl so they stopped bein a thing i enjoy for me lol. i do that since im like,,, uh,,, idK 15. it fuckd my stomach

What do you want to be remembered for?

I mean if I have to pick and b unrealistic, for art maybe,,, or for the thing i end up working with, like architecture or somethin. Art, def art cus i like art so much

ZURI’S QUESTIONS!!!

1.-if you had to chose one thing to eat for the rest of your life what would it be? 

I MEAN THIS QUESTION IS THE DEVIL I GET TIRED OF EVERYTHING TO THE POINT I DONT WNAN EAT ANYTHING I WILL JUST IGNORE IT SSAYS ONE AND SAY MEXICAN FOOD

2.- what are you most afraid of? Mental illnes and being ill and living 

3.- do you have a favorite place to visit?

I mean,,,, i love walking in the center? centre? of my city bc is like going to another place. Is also fucking Cuba in there. Everyone says that, my dad asked a cuban marine he met if it was true and he said it was ‘’ the fackin same’’ So its like,,, travelling in time and places. also the beach and the port.

4.- what type of weather you enjoy the most?

I need the sun, otherwise i get sad… i like cloudy w sun. I just like to go out in the afternoon tho lol so like,,, sun pls so the sky can turn pinkish

5.- do you have a rare ability like dislocating your thumb or moving your eyes really fast?

i move my tongue real real fast and also can do the cherry knot thing and uh i can like, be aberrantly stupid too. hey but dont fuk w me and bother me 4 bein stupid, i will fist fite u and i mite b stupid but i will also mite think u r stupid if i don like u so fuk off. Dam,,, i get like, bothered so easy LOL like, think u r better than me and i’ll fist fite u LMFAO WHY THO I SUK, but like, if not bothered, i think of everyone as my equal… wow this was not the question

6.- do you think it would be easier to create one universal lenguage or an accurate translator? nO… dont delete culture like that,,, an accurate translator mite come in handy u kno but like, some languages have words that don’t exist in others so like :-/

7.- is there something that soothes you no matter what? um no i wish

8.- favorite piece of clothing? boots and thights

9.- is there a song stuck in your head right now? YEAH dig down by muse i love it, every1 says it sUCLks but i can’t stop listenin to it

10.- why is your favorite animal your favorite animal? i don play favs but i love the honey badger bc of this pleas fuckin watch it and THIS

11.- morning person or late riser? Oh,, i cant wake up to save my life so late riser

SUNNY’S QUESTIONS!!!

1. do you have any plushies? a LOT but im like,,, they r in my wardrobe and i luv em but like,,, they’re all gifts,,, did u kno one of my past bffs bought me a dino for christmas?

2. have you ever walked out the cinema before? 

Yeah, i love drive’s aesthetic and Ryan gosling a lot but is SO boring so idk if my friends and I got kicked out or we prefered to get out to talk haha. 

3. if you could have a mascot what would it be and why?

A CHINCHILLA, they’re a irl pokemon and they r so cUTE

4. what would your theme song be? kool thing, sonic youth maybe or is she weird by pixies. All Over the world by pixies too lol

5. do you have any phrases or sayings you find yourself coming back to often? not really, im so bad at remembering sayings and quotes

6what’s the nearest object to your right? a book called azul by ruben dario

7. would you rather live in the big city or out in the middle of nature? 

Big city forever. I love high? buildings a lot. I dont do that well in the rural life lmao 

8. are you working on any creative projects right now (fic/art/music/photography/ect) Nope at all and das sad cus i should b doing art lmao

9. what’s your favourite movie score? idk what is score… but the soundtrack of trainspotting is one of my favs… oh but score… aghgsdhaj any tarantino movie tbh or wes anderson movie… or before I disappear or demolition oR southpaw or the girl w the dragon tattoo

10. i say vol you say….? uuhhhhh,,,,,  vol….tron??? (ICONIC, I MELT, I LVOE HIM)

[mincypher]

70 QUESTIONS

tagged by @taewae​ thank youuu

1. do you have a good relationship with your parents?

ahaha no

2. who did you last say “i love you” to?

korra lol im watching the legend of korra and i lOVE  H ER

3. do you regret anything?

lots of stuff

4. are you insecure?

insecure is my second name

5. what’s your relationship status?

single

6. how do you want to die?

painlessly ???

7. what did you last eat?

nutella crepe

8. played any sports?

rythmic gymnastics and medieval fencing

9. do you bite your nails?

ya im always stressed please help me stop sigh

10. when was your last physical fight?

i.. dont know ? i dont easily get into physical fights, it happened in middle school i dont remember anything after that

11. do you like someone?

mmmm no

12. have you ever stayed up 48 hours?

mm not sure ? maybe not 48 hours but close

13. do you hate anyone at the moment?

lmao ye

14. do you miss someone?

not really

15. have any pets?

yeeesss my baby pup :3 (he’s 17 yo but he my puppy forever okei)

16. how exactly are you feeling at the moment?

headache’s on its way sigh also im hella frustrated because i wanna study stuff that wont take me anyway as in it doesnt give me any practical skill i can use in a job aND  IHATE IT i feel like im wasting my time but also im not because i love what im studying and i found this subject im totally in love with and  iwanna carry it on but lol i have no future.

17. ever made out in the bathroom?

yes

18. are you scared of spiders?

not scared but they creep me out ugh same for insects, especially insects

19. would you go back in time if you were given the chance?

as in going back somewhere in my timeline or generally speaking? because i’ve struggled a lot and there’s no way i wanna live such things again so no but if you mean like time travel in another time... maybe yes ? but only if i can come back

20. where was the last place you snogged someone?

bed

21. what are your plans for this weekend?

astronomic conference this friday then i have to help a kid with his homework saturday morning and theeeeen idk me and my friends are planning to go to the cinema but probably not this weeked or any weekend tbh cause it’s cheaper during the week than it is during weekends so

22. do you want to have kids? how many?

no thanks

23. do you have piercings? how many?

right ear lobe stretched and that’s it caus eim afraid of needles :’) i would like to pierce my ears nad have like 2 or 3 per ear but ahaha nope

24. what is/are/were your best subject(s)?

maths, english

25. do you miss anyone from your past?

not really

26. what are you craving right now?

money lol and more self confidence

27. have you ever broken someone’s heart?

i did yes

28. have you ever been cheated on?

not that i know of but i dont think so

29. have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?

yes when i broke up with my ex

30. what’s irritating you right now?

my headachE WHY DO I HAVE TO HAVE HEADACHE EVERY SINGLE DAY

31. does somebody love you?

my friends ?

32. what is your favourite color?

it depends on my mood

33. do you have trust issues?

lmaaaooooooo what do you think

34. who/what was your last dream about?

i think i dreamed of zuko lmfao i finished rewatching atla like 2 days ago i loVE THATSHOW SO MUCH 

5. who was the last person you cried in front of?

my mom. i was going out with friends i was kinda about to have  apanic attack thank god i managed to calm down pretty quickly. 

36. do you give out second chances too easily?

yes....

37. is it easier to forgive or forget?

forgive. i wish i could forget somethings but i just cant

38. is this year the best year of your life?

mmm i think last year was a bit better but it’s a tie. not that i’m having the time of my life lol but i managed to get out of awful situations so now im just... good. kinda

39. how old were you when you had your first kiss?

17

40. have you ever walked outside completely naked?

NO LMAO WHY WOULD I

51. favourite food?

japanese and chinese. also pizza

52. do you believe everything happens for a reason?

mostly yes

53. what is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?

watched ouat

54. is cheating ever okay?

how is this even a question obciously it’s not okay

55. are you mean?

yes

56. how many people have you fist fought?

never thrown a fist at people 

57. do you believe in true love?

nah

58. favourite weather?

cloudy, not too windy, just.. calm and warm

59. do you like the snow?

if im staying indoors yes lol

60. do you wanna get married?

no thanks

61. is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?

on the right circumstance yes

62. what makes you happy?

talking about things i like with someone who shares the same interest, art, music, fictional characters

63. would you change your name?  

i use a nickname on the internet but it’s basically my name now i would like to officially change it to it but it’s not a name we use in my country so i’m just.. okay with the one i have ahah i mean it’s like i have two names and im fine with both

64. would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed

god yes i dont even want to think about it

65. your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

depends if i like them back or not. but tbh im not that confortable around the opposite sex so lol i will never even have a best friend of the opposite sex or a love interest ltst be real

66. do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?

no

67. who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?

my dad

68. who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

myself ? lol

69. do you believe in soulmates?

no

70. is there anyone you would die for?

my best friends

tagging randomly dorry for the bother and feel free to ignore this ^^ @mnyunki @cloudjimin @mangaetteok @ofjimins @satansonyeondan @syubtae @dimplechim @rapmonclub @gukmin @leubaek