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ftriver · 5 years ago

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hi beautiful people , i'll be going by tess ( she / her pronouns ) & tbh with you , i'm internally crying from excitement now that i've joined this #lit group . this is my cue to shut up & beg for plots for this headass by the name of river . honestly i'm open minded to anything n' everything involving MESS . please dab on that heart , & i'll for sure pester you in the ims !

⋆ ╰ another year at hollingsworth , another year of the big six rivalry . i hear that ALEXANDER RIVER O’CONNOR is ensuring PI KAPPA EPSILON gets a solid pledge class and stays at the top of the ranks . oh , you’re not familiar with HIM ? RIVER is the HARRY STYLES look alike from TAMPA , FLORIDA . apart of PC ‘16 , he is majoring in ECONOMICS and has plans to MAKE IT BIG IN THE NFL after undergrad . it makes sense they pledged their house , their CHARISMATIC & PERSPICACIOUS attributes make them perfect matches . however , their CHOLERIC & IMPRUDENT attributes keep their name alive on greek rank . if you don’t catch them dancing to HOW I COULD JUST KILL A MAN - RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE at a fraternity band party this year , you’ll be sure to catch them nursing their morning hangover at PHI GAMMA IOTA . cheers to another wild semester ! trigger warning : alcoholism , drug mention , republicans .

𝐥𝐞𝐠𝐚𝐥 𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞 : alexander river o’connor . 𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬 : only goes by river . 𝐚𝐠𝐞 : twenty one years . 𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐝𝐚𝐲 & 𝐳𝐨𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐜 : leo sun , aquarius moon , gemini ascendant ! 𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐨𝐰𝐧 : tampa , florida . 𝐬𝐞𝐱𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 : swings both ways ( family are unaware ) , & has only been in relationships with girls so far . 𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐭𝐲 : painfully caucasian . 𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐫𝐤𝐬 & 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐬 : obnoxious laughter , snapbacks , empty beer cans , protein shakes , dust-covered study books , two seasons into spongebob squarepants on netflix , unread message from father , bitten nails , overflown trash cans , used condoms , cupboard full of ramen pots . 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐒𝐈𝐒 : • the o’connor’s hail from an incredibly political background . river’s grandfather great grandfather were both former mayors , his father is a wealthy senator & his mother a news anchor . river was kind of raised in a family who hold strong christian , conservative values ( republicans , yuck ! ) though his father remarried two times before winding up with river’s mom . needless to say , this clueless boy stuck out like a sore thumb compared to the rest of his full & half - siblings ; who all had fixated dreams & plans from a young age , whether that was delving into medicine , business innovation and even the world of law . • in all honesty , though , let’s not get it twisted ! river was subject to a very privileged childhood . he had everything handed to him on a silver platter until the age of sixteen lmao & that’s when his father was tireless with his efforts to align his political aspirations with river’s future . he made sure that river was a hard working boy with several public sector jobs along with school ( though he really didn’t need the money , it was more-so about enhancing his life-long skills & brushing up on prowess ) , & all throughout high school he still maintained tip top grades . • during high school river was also an active member of his school council , debate team , played lacrosse & football but really fell in love with football more than anything . he dropped the rest of the extracurricular’s towards the end to focus on football , as his coach was a huge positive influence & encouraged him to pursue this lil’ ol ambition ! • so lets skip to college ! river knew by senior year he wanted to get away from his home town and embellish in new surroundings for his college years . as soon as he touched base in georgia he pledged for any fraternity house that would take him in ( pi kappa epsilon , in this case ) & immediately hurled himself into a wild partying lifestyle ( lets get reckless luv ) . alcohol , drugs , sex , you name it . & as of now he is currently playing for the college football team in the pipeline dream hopes of getting scouted lmao , but his father of course pushed him to take on a degree that could be utilised for a political future . he figured economics was perhaps the most ideal course of action to keep his family content . so yeah ! though he comes across really meathead - like & kind of ( ? ) a mess , back home river’s family are on the receiving end of a more polished , cultivated version of their son .

𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀 :

• okay first thing’s first . river’s a huge shithead but the rare times get him in his philosophical spiels talking about the world’s political state , or rather , america’s political state , he’s far more woke than his family , & actually doesn’t believe in a lot of what his father spews . there have been far too many family dinners where there’s been heated debates between him & his relatives . • as i’ve mentioned before , he’s become a huge party boy , & with this , unfortunately , in the recent year there’s been a slight dependency for the bottle ( jsyk he’s not a raging alcoholic but im js nine times out of ten you’ll find homeboy buzzed ) . river doesn’t think he really has a problem though , & he especially doesn’t think he has a place to really scream “ woe is me “ , if that makes sense ? he’s aware of his privilege & most times when he feels the whole world is piling on top of him , it’s just easier to go out & turn up . he’s stressed a lot of the time , but again , it’s easier to bury this with the company of his friends on some #lets get wrecked boys lmao . also when he goes back home between semesters , he helps with his father’s campaign & the like . there’s responsibilities , he doesn’t get to go back home for a break . you’ll find that he’s a freak of routine & could be drinking and partying until six in the morning but will still wake up at nine to go for his morning run . • an attention - seeking fuckboy , he can very loud and vulgar but is here for a good time not a long time. most of his relationships have either been very on / off or flings that have fizzled out due to the fact he’s a leo & river is too invested in himself to ~ open up ~ emotionally . he’s an athlete so he is very competitive , a sore loser dfjndfj & can have a melodramatic temper both off and on the field !

#rank:intro

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lovedeluxe92 · 6 years ago

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okay so i started working at jimmy johns in early febuary of this year. i needed a job rlly bad and money desperately, just something to keep me afloat and to afford food. what i experienced...i was not at all prepared for lmao. i was sexually harassed, verbally harassed, had my hours fucked with, had management and even the owners of the company who could give a fuck less about their employees, had to deal with my fellow coworkers AND managers being on k2 and other drugs, and the final fucking straw which was getting my tip money stolen from me OUT OF THE SAFE BY A MANAGER. i started working as a delivery driver. which was INCREDIBLY stress inducing at first bc i worked at the one right downtown. i had to deal with

i started working as a delivery driver. which was INCREDIBLY stress inducing at first bc i worked at the one right downtown. i had to deal with

traffic, pedestrians NOT LOOKING WHERE THE FUCK THEY WERE GOING DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY PPL I ALMOST KILLED CAUSE /THEY/ DID NOT LOOK, we have ‘parking police’ and i legit got about 15-20 tickets during my time there bc that asshole was out for blood and anytime he saw my car, even if i wasnt parked illegally (oh did i mention we had like 3 parking spots all on the street and all with a 2 hour limit (: ) or hadnt been parked in a spot for the full 2 hours. so there was that.

see when i first started everything was fine. we had good employees who worked hard and did what they had to do. they were all stoners, but whatever i could care less about that. SO. our assistant manager, he was a mess. racist, homophobic, rude, loud. the worst. we would do dabs out in his car (yeah i know but i worked at a fucking jimmy johns) and he would just say the most questionable shit. i remember this one time he saw my phone background was a pic of me and my bf and was like ‘oh you like black guys? what’s your sex like? i bet it’s really good’ and im not gonna go into too much detail here, bc it upset me and its racist, but he kept going and said some REALLY creepy shit i was like wtf and told him to never speak to me like that again or i would report him for sexual harassment (side note: one time he thought i did report him for sexual harassment and was like “who are you gonna buy weed from now?” LITERALLY ANYONE YOU PIECE OF SHIT.) he would always be like “DAMN THICK’ whenever i would bend over and do everything. I TOLD MY MANAGER AT THE TIME. she didn’t do anything. AND the owners of the franchise definitely knew bc like...there’s cameras and they can hear everything we say? but no one did fucking anything. and i needed the money bad so i had to stay. of course i told him off constantly. he was white and always saying the n word. just a piece of fucking shit.

i think the happiest day of my life was when he FINALLY got fired. my manager had to go to another city for a week and help out that jimmy johns bc i guess ALL the employees and managers did a walk out (yeah this happens at all the jimmy johns owned locally in my area i wish i was kidding) and left his inept ass in charge. it took him 5 mins to make sandwiches (FREAKY FAST hello????) he was just a poor manager. but THEN he started using k2 again. and he was a zombie. there was no point of him even being there bc like he would just go to the back of the store and just stand in front of the freezer door staring for like 10-15 mins at a time.i was a driver and didnt know how to make sandwiches yet and this bitch seriously was just standing there cracked out of his mind on k2 in FRONT of customers (and i will say our customers were SO nice at least) takking phone calls slurring his words. it was embarrassing. i rememeber i had 2 customers who had waited almost a HALF HOUR for ONE sandwich bc i was having a panic attack and losing my fucking mind trying to make their sandwiches while he was in his truck getting high and refusing to come in. one of the customers actually gave me a tip and told me i was doing great and the other one was like ‘im so sorry this is happening to you, that guy is fucked up’. anyway, he passed out on k2 in his truck one night and got the cops called on him and got banned from the property :) i still saw him from time to time and he looked disgusting & miserable and it made me so happy.

mostly we just had grown ass employees, fucking 30 year olds, just acting like children. always on drugs. i had one coworker pretend to slap my ass and i called him out and he was like ‘it’s a joke im not apologizing’. people would try to take deliveries from me. AND LET ME JUST SAY, not even to fucking brag even slighly but i was the best worker there my entire time there bc regardless of where im working i am giving my 100% every day and no one else there would. but ppl always tried to step over me and did not respect me. we had one coworker who had 3 felonies and one day like 4-5 cops came to our store to tell us to call the cops the next time he showed up for work (surprise surprise he fled bc they took an hour to get to the store despite the fact we were literally like not even 4 blocks from the police station) and he was always high on k2. forever late. day after day no call no show. he had his friend get hired on who would go down to subway and talk shit about subway in his uniform??? lmao and subway called us one day and was like ‘can yall not?’ he also threatened to burn down the store and then my manager (who was always on a power trip if we’re being honest) purposefully withheld his paycheck to fuck with him, because he was fucking with her, so we dealt with him WAY longer than we should have?

then this one bitch that became manager, SOMEHOW, we were seriously always that desperate for staff and we hire anyone bc the managers are overworked af and just want to take the load off. anyway, SHE was always high on k2 as well. and she would always overshare rlly traumatic personal things from her life to me and all the customers and its like....girl we dont wanna hear that pls try and get some help. she was not currently being abused, i wanna specify. she was talking about things from her past. i sympathized with her but like im a victim of dv too lmao i dont wanna see your bruises without being asked first. and then i remember one day i left my money bag there (i kept my tips in it and had like $37 in there or something) and this bitch who was making MORE MONEY THAN ME seriously fucking went into the safe (we caught her on camera lmao) and stole that money out of my bag and left a few bills to make it seem less suspicious i guess??? lied about it to my face? then quit bc she ‘wasnt gonna sit there and be accused of something i didnt do’ like ok lmao

then to top it all off at one point my old manager just stopped giving a fuck and the store went to shit and we got complaint after complaint and she started being so rude to all of her staff, including myself (and we were like besties so i was devastated) and she cut my hours when she was submitting our work times for the checks because i would clock in early to help out....LIKE SHE ASKED? and it was just everything i said to her...her response was just the most rude and hateful voice and just....it was so rude. i cried every single day after work. she eventually got replaced and then quit

but then this new manager, whom i loved, was very depressed and just had a lot wrong with him mentally but he was still very....drama starting and attention seeking. he would talk about suicide nonstop 24/7 and not to be callous but it just made me so uncomfortable and triggered me so much? they did overwork him and i will attest and agree to that and he had a lot on his shoulders but he couldve gone to mcdonalds literally any day and gotten a job with better hours, better pay, and better benefits. i kept telling him over and over to leave bc he had so much managerial experience he couldve been hired anywhere! all resteraunts down here are perpetually hiring, especially for managers! i would know bc i was looking for another job lmao. but he’d text me every night saying things like ‘well lets hope i drink myself to death’ ‘suicide is painless’ etc. and it was just......VERY uncomfortable for me, as someone who has attempted suicide and still struggles with ideation from time to time lmao it was just the most triggering environment ever

like idk how i lasted that long but i worked my ass off, saved up my money, have a good paying job and im trying my best to forget this entire experience (honestly i did have some good times) but i really dont....think i can lmao

ON A POSTIVE NOTE: we had some of the kindest and most caring customers ive ever had in my life. i was shocked. but the amount of times i had a shitty customer in my entire time there i can count on one hand lmao like....even when they were shitty they were like ‘im sorry i know yall work hard and everything’ like i miss my customers SO MUCH because we actually had relationships with them and shit and ugh god. if the customers were shitty tho i would never have kept this job lmfao

i stayed at this job simply bc i made enough money for rent and my bills perfectly and it was one of the few jobs where i was paid an hourly wage + tips. and i wanted my next job to be a job in my field. that’s why i stuck around so long, it took some time to do that.

so yeah theres my mess i love anyone who read this and you can have my first born and be the beneficiary to my life insurance when i die

#tw: racism #tw: sexism #tw: suicide #tw: drugs #idk...what else to warn y'all about. just know this is a fucking #mess #i mean these arent horrific mentions of any of these things but i dont wanna trigger anyone unintentionally #better safe than sorry with tws

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cryinggameff · 7 years ago

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Sixty Three

Cayden

I was in Jamaica working on a deal with some guys Sean had connected us with a while back. We had been doing small business with their niggas out in texas and we hadn’t had any real problems, other than the small feds issue but that was on our end, and it had been dealt with. My sources let me know people had stopped talking and the investigation was dropped. Randi was on on my ass to fix that one real quick, but i understood why.

Jamaica was beautiful though, i wished i was here to just chill, with my girl, not working. We’d spend the day on the beach, or in this big ass hotel room…fucking and everywhere. Most likely the second one. I promised myself to bring her some time.

Sean and Pat were both with me, and we were going to some meeting with the dude who was gonna supply shit. We were in our car on the way there.

“Like i told you, dude kinda crazy, so lets try and avoid any beef. I heard he be keeping niggas balls as torphies and shit,” Sean said, looking over from the drivers seat.

“I can respect that,” i chuckled. “Maybe imma start doing that, make yall niggas really fear me.”

“Thats some batty man shit,” Pat mumbled.

We pulled up to the building, which was some food place.

“They doing drug deals out of a restaurant?” I looked at Sean.

“Thats how it be here,” he shrugged. We walked in past the store front and inside there were lots of tables and plastic chairs. A group of people were gathered at the back near the register, two guys stood on either side of the table, body guards. They stepped up when we approached and my instinct was to be pissed off because the nigga knew i was coming but yet he had security in my face.

“He knows who i am,” i said simply. They looked back at their boss and then let us through. We sat down on the opposite side of the table.

“Sean, wa gwan my brotha?”

“Im chillin. Omarion, this my nigga Cayden. Cayden this the crazy dude Omarion,” Sean said. Omarion looked me over and i did the same.

“Texas right?” he said. I nodded. “You know i done business with yall in the past actually.”

“Word? When?” I asked. He leaned in, putting his hands on the table. He smirked in a way that really made me think he was crazy.

“Way back when, Red was running shit back then,” he said, tilting his head.

“That must have been a long time ago then,” i said nonchalantly.

“Shame what happened to him isn’t it?”

“Tragic,” i said. He burst into full blown laughter. I guess people really knew what had gone down. I smirked.

“I like your style Cayden,” he said. “This should be a good partnership. Lets get to the business then.”

“We got everything ready on our end. Just gotta see what we buying before we hand the money over.”

“Everything irie my brother, dont worry, we got the best quality product. I got some coke and the weed for you to try, the rest will be here tomorrow when we do the drop,” he said, turning and nodding to one of his guys. The guy got up and went back to the kitchen then came back with a brick of coke and a bag of some rolled up blunts. He put them on the table. I opened the plastic wrapping and looked over the coke before passing it to Pat. I wasn’t about to try it because i knew i had a problem with the shit and Randi had threatened to leave me over it when we first got together. Doesn’t mean i wasn’t tempted though. Pat took a sniff while i lit the blunt. I knew the weed was gon be lit because everyone knew this was the place for the shit. I took a long pull.

“Damn,” i said, blowing out smoke. The guys chuckled and i took another drag.

“I told you my brother. So we good for tomorrow?” Omarion put his hand out. I nodded and shook his hand.

“We’ll see yall tomorrow,” i said, standing up. Pat and Sean stood up too.

When we got back to the hotel the first thing i did was face time Randi. It has only been 3 days but i missed her and i knew she was probably freaking out by now. She was clingy for a nigga. Her phone rang for a real long time before she finally picked up.

“Why the fuck it take you so long to pick up?” i asked, immediately wondering what she was doing. She moved the phone so i could see her face.

“Well i was sleeping,” she said, voice low. I could tell she had just woken up from her hair and her voice.

“You at the girls’ place?” I asked, not liking the idea of her being alone.

“No, they’re here, at the house, they watching a movie i think,” she said, brushing hair out of her face.

“You love watching movies, why you sleeping?” my brows came together.

“I was tired. Where are you?” She asked.

“My hotel room. Its real nice, youd love it here babe. Imma bring you one day.” She smiled.

“Okay,” she said, excited now.

“You look pretty,” i told her, looking at her messy hair and makeup around her eyes, i liked it.

“I literally just woke up, im pretty sure theres drool on my face,” she wiped her cheek.

“Nah. You look perfect.”

“I miss you,” she frowned.

“I know,” i said simply. She knew i was missing her the same if not more.

“Come home quickly, i need you…”

“Whats wrong?” I asked immediately. I already knew something must be up.

“Nothings wrong. I just love you and i wanna see you,” she said in a not so convincing voice but i let it go.

“I love you too. You gon be aight. Just a few more days. But you need to get out of bed and get outside. You even leave the house today?”

“Not really.”

“Get off your butt or im gonna send someone over there. Im gonna send Ty actually. He needs the key to my office anyway. You know where it is?”

“yeah i know,” she said. “Ill give it to him.”

There was banging on my door then and i lookd over. Sean and Pat stormed in and were making all kinds of noise.

“Nigga we going out,” Sean said. Pat grabbed my phone from my hand.

“Hey Randi. Cayden has to go now,” he said.

“Okay. Bring him back in one piece please,” she said.

“I promise,” he said.

“Okay, go play with you friends. I’ll talk to you later,” she said to me.

“Bye baby,” i yelled. Pat hung up and i sent him a mug.

“Dawg you not staying in this room. Grab yo shit we going,” he said. I groaned but got up. It would be a shame to leave jamaica without partying.

Randi

The last few days were very strange for me. I would go to sleep and when i first woke up id forget about the whole being pregnant thing, then after a few minutes as i really woke up and started my day id remember and be momentarily terrified. I mean i was terrified the rest of the day too because i still had no idea how i felt other than scared and i couldn’t even share it with anybody because Cay didnt know and wasn’t here. China and Jada were staying here right now and, though Jada sort of knew, i hadnt confirmed anything after the positive test, i couldn’t talk to them about it. The crazy thing is that i was actually scared to the core to tell him. I couldn’t rationalize why on earth id be scared. That morning when i woke up i decided to call Dr. Williams office to see if she had an opening, and she did. So instead of going to the salon first thing like i usually did, i went there.

She looked like she was ready to pop. Seeing her so sure and confident in her pregnancy and clearly over joyed about the prospect of having a child, i couldn’t control myself, i spilled the news because i had to talk to someone.

“Thats definitely some news,” she said, giving me a soft smile.

“It feels weird saying it out loud,” i said, running my hand up and down my thighs.

“This is the first time you’ve told anybody?” She asked, surprised. I nodded. “So Cayden doesn’t know then.”

“No,” i said in a guilty tone. “I found out at a bad time, he was leaving for work and i didn’t wanna make him worry or feel like he had to stay, so i kept it to myself,” i said.

“That sounds pretty stressful on you, dealing with it all on your own,” she said sympathetically. I nodded, biting my lip. “How are you feeling about it, whats been going through your head?”

“I dont think im feeling the things im supposed to be feeling,” i explained.

“You dont have to feel a specific way, you’re allowed to feel your own emotions. You can always say the truth here,” she tilted her head to the side.

“But i don’t want something to be wrong with me,” i said.

“Why would something be wrong with you?” she wrote on her notepad.

“Because im not all excited and happy, im just terrified. I’m even scared to tell Cayden,” i sighed.

“Being scared is normal. This is a big change,” she pointed out. “Do you fear how Cayden will react?”

“No,” i shook my head, “its not that. Im not sure what it is,” i played with my hair.

“Whats the worst thing you immagine happening,” she tried instead. I paused for a while, picturing me telling him.

“I think its more to do with me. I dont want him to see my fear and be upset by my reaction,” i scratched my arms. She nodded.

“You think Cayden won’t be understanding of your fears and concerns?”

“I dont know,” i shrugged.

“You’ve been together for how long now, has he given you reason to think he wouldn’t be understanding of your story and how things may feel a bit intense for you?” I shook my head.

“Then maybe you should give him a bit more credit and trust that you can confide in him,” she put a hand on my knee. I nodded. I knew she was right. The fears were all because i was in my own head too much. I knew i was also generally high strung when Cayden was far away from me.

“You’re right,” i said, dabbing at a single tear that had escaped. Why did she always have me crying in her office?

“You’re very brave, dont forget that. Give yourself a break. You are a beautiful, strong, intelligent woman…and you will make a terrific mother.”

When she said the last part i really lost it, i don’t know why. I took the tissues she offered me and we just sat in silence for a little while, since my hour was almost up anyway. Once the session was done she gave me a long hug and told me to come in any time. I thanked her and then left the office.

When i got back home i was emotionally drained and just tired all together. Jada invited me to watch a Romcom which was my favourite, but i needed to lay down so i flaked and went upstairs to sleep instead and Cayden ended up calling me an hour into my nap and we had a short but nice conversation. Hearing his voice and seeing his face lifted my spirits and also made my stomach flutter in a new strange way. I couldn’t believe i was one of those girls who couldn’t go a few days without seeing her man, but it was different once you were married. We truly functioned as a unit, and taking him away was taking away part of me. He encouraged me to get out of bed though and i washed my face before going to join my friends downstairs.

“How you doing?” Jada asked, looking at me a little too intensely.

“Im good. I had an intense therapy session, im always drained after talking to Dr. williams,” i explained.

“We got you some food, i was gonna bring it up but i didnt wanna wake you,” China said. “You should eat,”

“Im actually starving. What you get?”

“Fried rice, its in the fridge” she said. My mouth watered immediately and i ran to the kitchen. Suddenly i was happy and feeling good about life as i warmed my food and grabbed some cutlery. I brought it to the couch and Jada flipped through netflix finding a new movie.

“A walk to remember?” she asked.

“Too sad,” i said.

“Jumping the broom?”

“Yeah i like that one,” i nodded. She pressed play and i made myself comfortable.

Later on in the day, Ty did come by just like Cayden had said. I let him in and asked him if he wanted something to drink. He said sure and followed me to the kitchen. I got him a can of coke from the fridge.

“How you doing nugget?” he asked. “You look down.”

“Im alright, i didnt sleep a lot last night. Im just tired,” i said.

“Can’t sleep cause yo nigga gon?” he guessed. I stuck my tongue out at him. “Yall so extra.”

“Don’t act like you dont be all pissy when Cole not here. We all have to put up with you until he come back on the weekend.”

“I dont get pissy,” he said real quick, face serious as ever.

“Ok,” i said in a ‘sure’ tone. He sent me a mug and drank his coke. “So what did you need again?” i asked, having forgotten what Cay had told me i was supposed to give him.

“The key to Cayden’s office,” he said.

“Right. Ill go get it, be right back,” i said. He nodded. I got up and left the kitchen to go up to the bedroom. The key was in some safety deposit box with a pin but it was our wedding say so i knew it. I unlocked the box and got the key while also lurking at everything else. There was some money, a gun, some keys, and an envelope. I grabbed the envelope and opened it. It was a deed for the house that had, apparently, been updated to have my name on it beside his. I couldn’t help but smile. I had never asked him to do that. Cayden had bought this house all on his own way before me. It made my heart skip a beat seeing he added my name on a legal paper listing me as an owner of the property.

“I love you Cay,” i said to nobody. I put the letter back where id found it and locked the box back up. I left the room and started for the stairs, jogging down them because id kept Ty waiting when i got distarcted. I was wearing socks though, and the stairs were polished wood, so when i put my foot on the next step it slid all the way past the edge and threw me off balance. I let out a little scream as i slipped and caught myself on the hand rail before i could go tumbling down the stairs.

“Fuck,” I said, my heart pounding. Ty was now at the bottom of the stairs. I took the rest of the stairs slowly. My hand had somehow ended up on my stomach in a very non random way, i guess to protect it.

“You good?” Ty said.

“Yeah,” I said, trying to calm myself. “That was really scary,” i ran my hand up and down my lower belly. He looked down at my hand which was still on my belly, making slow movements. He looked at me like I was weird at first then he seemed to put things together. I went red.

“Wait…” he said. I quickly removed my hand and wiped the nervous sweat on my jeans. “Are you knocked up?” I didnt answer right away so that about confirmed it.

“Please don’t say anything to anyone,” I begged, closing the sweater I had on. He chuckled.

“Oh shit,” he said, looking at me like he was seeing me for the first time.

“I haven’t gotten to tell Cayden yet so don’t tell him please. I know you’re his best friend but im begging you,” i said desperatly.

“Don’t worry, I won’t” he said in an understanding tone.

“If he asks how i am just say im good. I dont wanna worry him,” i said. He nodded. “Thanks,” I said, handing him the key. He took it and I thought he was gonna leave but he wrapped one arm around me and pulled me into a hug. This was the most affectionate he had ever been with me. We had a very brother and sister relationship. I mean he would mess up my hair teasingly or choke hold me but this was a real, soft hug. I didn’t know what to do.

“Be careful on the stairs aight?” He said. I nodded. He pulled away. He nodded and then went out the door. I knew I had to tell Cayden. I would feel horrible if he found out from someone else. I promised myself that would be the first thing i did when he got home. I just had to wait a few more days, and not fall down any stairs.

#chris brown #chris brown fanfic #chris brown ff #team breezy #Jhene Aiko #jhene chilombo #jhene efuru #jhene aiko fanfic #jhene aiko ff #fanfiction #fandom #fan fiction #fanfic #fanfic update

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kiutbangtan-blog · 7 years ago

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GOT7 Reaction: S/O is a underground rapper

MARK

He would be so impressed, proud, and happy for you (they all would). When he is away for tour or just can't be with s/o, He would enjoy watching your performances on YouTube, because he missed you. Once in a while you guys would have rap battles.

JAEBUM

He would feel so badass dating you. Like you would most likely brag about dating you. Once in a while he will sneak into one of your shows, then surprise you back stage. Tells you to rap about what you guys did last night.

‘Tell them what we like to do at night’ ‘All those other rappers are mad that they can't out their hands on you, but i can’

JACKSON

He would love to brag about you too, like you are his prized possession. He will have all of your preformances saved on his phone. When he goes to your preformances he will be so extra. He will be more hyped up than everyone there put together. Most likely rapping louder than you, even with a mic. When you guys go out together he will act like your private body guard. He will just be so extra.

‘Excuse me, please make way, (your stage name) is coming through!’ ‘ Hey, my s/o is a rapper, shes so badass’

When you want to have rap battles..

‘You will ruin me and you know it. I still need to make money, i still need my career’

JINYOUNG

Whenever you guys are seen together, he will try act normal, but in inside he is dying because people are seeing him with his badass s/o. Like he would look chill but he’s like ..

‘Yes look at my badass s/o and me, tell everyone’

When you are in the studio, he likes to visit you and bring you food. He tried to find out what your writing about, he hopes you are writing about him. He will make sure you don't stress yourself out and likes to take you out to dinner.

YOUNGJAE

He will be so happy to be with you. When he sees you, he sees a strong and hardworking person. Sometimes he gets sad to think about all thr things you go through with criticism and social standards. He want to make sure you are happy at all times. Youngjae would always be hugging you and showing affection to make sure you know how much you mean to him.

BAMBAM

For some reason i feel like he is thr type to over hype you up to much and you’ll get embarrassed. He knows you get embarrassed but he does it to demonstrate his love. He loves it when you diss someone. Like your in a rap battle with some dude and s/o slaps back with something real, he would silently dab in the crowd. Lives for your disses. He wants you to write a disstrack about the girl that broke his heart in 5th grade.

YUGYEOM

Lowkey scared to accident hurt you, because he doesnt want a diss track. He will protect you at all times because he doesnt want you to get hurt by criticism. Before he knew you he was like a hard stan, but after he became close to you he was so soft. Yugyeom will help you out with writting, wants to do like a love track? Kinda like you two do a collab but he just wants it for himself. A song about how much you guys love each other and quoot litte things like that.

I realized i use the word ‘badass’ a lot, lol sorry. Also some grammer stuff are in there, i would fix it but im scared to ruin the post and like make he gifs stop working.

Request OPEN♡☆

-admin kiko

#got7 reactions #got7 #mark tuan #jaebum #jackson wang #jinyoung #youngjae #bambam #yugyeom #admin kiko

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conorpmaynard · 8 years ago

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Painting Brighton // Joe Sugg

Word Count- 933

Request- could you do one with joe where the reader is drawing on the beach in brighton and joe notices and compliments her and they start talking and she tells him she’s also from london but she came here because she wanted to draw the ocean and they take a walk on the beach and they don’t notice that it’s already evening but he doesn’t want to stop talking to her so he asks her out?

A/N- I’m writing again. Not every day, but more often. At least i’ll try. im still working through some things so bear with me. also i suck at titles sorry

Your focus remained on the canvas as the sounds of Brighton flowed around you. You heard the calls of seagulls, the rushing of waves, the passing of cars, the chatter of people; but your eyes stayed on the brush that dragged along the linen. You grabbed a different brush and dabbed it into the yellow paint. You swirled the brush in a sloppy circle as your eyes darted from the actual sun to the replicate one on the canvas. Luckily, it was a somewhat of a cloudy day, so looking at the sun wasn’t too harsh.

As you grabbed the brush that would recreate the clouds, you heard a voice.

“That’s amazing,” you turned and looked at the lean boy behind you.

“Thank you,” you smiled.

“Is it a hobby or a profession?” he asked as he stepped closer.

“Just for fun,” you turned back and began on the clouds.

“Well, you could definitely make some money off these,” he said, you could hear the smile in his voice.

“You think?” you smirked.

“Yeah,” he chuckled. “I can already see your name on all the billboards in London!”

“You don’t know my name,” you stated.

“Why don’t you tell me then,” he eyed you as you sat down your pallet.

“I’m Y/n,” you smiled, sticking out your hand.

“Joe. Joe Sugg,” he shook your hand. You took note at how your hands fit together.

“So, Joe.” You chuckled as you noticed your little rhyme. “What do you do for a living?”

He sat down on the pebbles and looked up at you, “I’m a YouTuber.”

“Ahh, I see,” you smirked, picking up your pallet. “You’re one of those kind of people.”

“Oi!” he defended. “Don’t knock it ’til ya try it.”

You pointed your brush at him, “Don’t tell me want to do Mr. I have weapons.”

He scoffed, “Please, paint isn’t a weapon.”

“Oh really? Let’s see how good it looks on your white shirt then,” you lunged at him.

“Hey!” he jumped away. “Woah!”

You stopped but he continued to run.

After he was about 10 feet away, he turned back towards you.

“Well are you coming?” he flashed you a big smile.

“Coming where?” you asked.

“With me, of course!”

“Where?”

“C’mon Y/n! You’re wasting the night away.” He sighed.

“Its noon,” you laughed.

“Just come on!” he held out his hand.

You looked back at your art tools, “What the hell.”

You walked over to him and took his hand.

You two spent the next 20 minutes walking down the beach and talking.

“I grew up in a small village, but I wanted the experience of living in a big city. SO I moved to London,” he explained as you two walked past a small family.

“No way!” you gasped.

“What?” he looked over at you.

“I live in London too!” you smiled.

“Small world,” he chuckled.

“So what brings you to Brighton?” you asked, swinging your hand.

“Sister,” he said. “I come down every now and then to see her and her boyfriend.”

“And to film videos?” you added.

“That too,” he chuckled. “How about you? What brought you, the mysterious artist, to Brighton?”

“You think I’m mysterious?” you looked over at him.

“A little,” he smiled. “But you didn’t answer my question.”

“Well, if I answer it I won’t be mysterious anymore!” you giggled.

“Fine,” he sighed dramatically.

“But seriously, I came for this.” You motioned around you two. “The ocean. I actually didn’t go to a beach until I was about 15.”

“What? That’s crazy,” he said.

“I know!” you agreed.

“Have you drawn it before?” he asked.

“No, I just got into a drawing about a year or two ago actually,” you nodded, recalling the memories.

“Really? What got you into art?”

“I actually hated art growing up, but then in college I was sitting on the grass and was too bored to study. So I started sketching my dream wedding dress,” you chuckled. “Ever since, it’s been my safe haven.”

“You’re really good at it,” he looked over at you again, taking in every inch of your face.

“Thanks,” you met his eyes, then the sky behind him. “Holy crap. What time is it?”

He grabbed his phone with his free hand it clicked it on.

“Uh, about half past 9,” he looked up at you and chuckled.

“Crap,” you looked around. “Where are we?”

“I’m sure if we keep walking we’ll find your art stuff.”

“I just hope it wasn’t stolen,” you whispered.

He rubbed the back of your hand, “hey, don’t stress. If anything was stolen, I’ll buy it.”

“You don’t have to do that,” you sighed.

“I mean, I am the reason you left it.”

“But I don’t regret it,” you looked at him through your lashes.

He looked ahead and smiled, “There it is.”

“Oh thank god!” you untangled your hand from his and ran over to your set up. You began packing it up, making sure nothing was stolen.

A few moments later he appeared behind your canvas.

“Listen,” he started. “I really like you and I hope you like me too.”

“I do,” you interrupted.

“So would you like to go on a date when we get back to London?”

You grabbed a piece of paper from your bag, “I’ll be back next Monday.”

He took the paper that had your number scribbled on it and smiled.

“Can’t wait,” he smiled as he walked towards the town.

You looked at your half painted canvas.

Who knew the sea wasn’t the only good thing about visiting Brighton.

#jack maynard #Joe Sugg #joe sugg imagine #Conor Maynard #Oli White #casp #mikey pearce #josh pieters #buttercream squad #buttercream #buttercream imagines #youtube #youtube imagines

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somedaypast-thesunset · 7 years ago

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i dont know how i feel. i’m very conflicted and sad. i dont want to be but my soul tells me i probably should be.

hes very excited to quit his job and take temporary leave across the country. he joked, ‘youll leave me now that i dont have a job’ and i replied ‘no, youre leaving ME now that you dont have a job’

‘what do you mean? i thought you said you would follow me.’

‘... i will follow you’

‘so then follow me. thats why i wanted to bring the truck. i just want time to myself first so i can create better habits and stop being lazy.’

at this point i realized my theory regarding north york was right and he was not happy about my refusal to follow him. but it wasnt right. and although this is being spoken about 6 months in advance i feel like theres a certain amount of disrespect? like it wasnt a discussion - it was just once again something he’d do and i was welcome to join him.

and i dont know if thats right for me? like to be totally fair, i dont know whats right for me. i dont even know where i want to be, who i want to be, what i want to o with my time. i’m really figuring all of this out right now. and like i was some years late on this because of all my shit and once i figure it out i think i’ll be fine but it’s ~the seeker again. i’ve been repeating, “i asked timothy leary and he couldnt help me either” after seeing the documentary with him an ram dass. like i have questions that are so deep an profound to life that i may never find answers and maybe thats who the fuck ill be and if thats who i am then how do i find ways to exist in this life.

like - i hate everyone. i really dislike everyone i know right now but i continue to socialize with them because this is what ive known this is what ive built - this is what i have. i should have done better. i’m trying to make people who will never really amount to much do more than theyre ever destined for and i’m frustrated about it. i’m continually frustrated that i put in this massive amount of effort that NO ONE else puts in and they have THE EXACT SAME AMOUNT OF TIME. i know i’m sick - i know because if i wasnt, if i never had the parents i had - if i had opportunities given to me i wouldnt be here right now. i am so angry at people who have opportunities and continually shit on them. i’m here doing the most with nothing and getting only a few steps ahead.

i thought i didnt care where i lived. but that was a serious lesson when i moved to the north of the city. i fucking hate the suburbs and i fucking hate being in the midle of nowhere. it is not fun or quaint biking everywhere or being off the main transit line. i biked home at 3am and bought smokes in the time it would take me to bike to the bus stop to go downtown. and i thought i didnt care about the way i lived but it turns out that my environment weighs heavily on me. i “thrive” in a city atmosphere where things are bustling and i can jump in at any time. i have no qualms about missing opportunities for socializing because i know ill have more very soon. being able to get resources to live super quickly means i have no problem doing multiple tasks in a day. it was like when i took anti anxiety meds and realized what anxiety was. i did not know what i had until it was gone and i was able to learn that i did in fact do better in a room. i was raised in a room. and it sounds sad and maybe it is sad but i WANT to be in a room. i dont even WANT a house. i thought i did. i thought i wanted my own little place an if i could have a stand alone room on a street maybe id take my own place but i hate it. i hate doing dishes and mopping and dusting and everything. ive just now figured out how to keep one single room tidy and organized and it makes me feel very good.

what am i doing? he called me king of the losers. i am. i am king of the losers - of all the shitty art people trying to make a “career” from being an artist; i’m the top of the line. there are “artists” doing better than me but out of all the losers who arent, i’m the top. and i choose to remain this way because i cannot stand the attention, i canno stand being a leader and i am on the precipice of something that i know i can make huge which i do not think even my “subjects” realize what that means. if i believe something will happen - it almost always does. it means i have the confidence and drive to make it happen. its not even happenstance - i know exactly what to do, what cards to play and i feel like i’m there right now. i could take my next step above king of the losers but why? why? what will i get? acknowledgment for the work i did, people will “like me”, maybe i’ll get some money - maybe it’ll go so far that it’ll be of value to something bigger that wants a piece of it and i’ll be bought out like similar projects before me. but why? what in the hell do i care? how do i define “glory” or “success” and is this it? i’m literally twiddling my thumbs with this. i’m biding my time between this and the next “big thing” - the “serious” one.

so why cant i follow him? if i finally get the benefits i’ve been waiting for, they’re only applicable in this province. i will have to reapply in a province that contains the amount of people currently living in this city almost four months after finally getting it here. although i have no family now, i will be literally half way across the country from anything i have ever known for the entire 27 years of my life whch is extremely terrifying right now. i dont know if i even want to leave this city right now. i just dont know. what do i do with the cats? take them half way across the country? in a pick up truck?

what helped my consideration was the proposal .. of well a literal proposal. but not so much out of love - but a contract, an agreement between us that when we were “done”, he would pay for me to return to my home province. like itll be my job to find a place to live at but i want him to pay for my return because i know with or without a job ill be able to find some cash when i get back but getting back with my shit would be super hard and i just want to know that the hardest part for me is taken care of so i always have “freedom” to return to what i know. imagine being stuck halfway across the country because we broke up? losing all my shit? having to beg & borrow to get back to anything familiar? i dont want alimony - in fact i think this is the prenup agreement. i get nothing at all except my moving expenses covered which i think is kind of beneficial to him too - he wont have to see me or keep me around any longer than necessary. i dont know if we can legally sign an agreement that says this otherwise which is why i stupidly think maybe we sould just secretly get married to enforce the fact he cant just get up and walk away without taking care of things with me unless hes really shitty about it. its not about beig forever taken care of either - even if i have the money to move i think its fair after everything to just be able to get back an start my own life again without a major struggle. like if i give up my whole life here to go there, the least i can get is my shit sent back and a plane ticket.

but then - i dont want to take a plane alone. i mean, to get there. if he decides to road trip himself with the truk and has no reason to return he may just want to send me a ticket and i’m absolutely not ready for such things not even in six months - okay for therapeutic purposes ill say MAYBE in six months but honestly im still trying to get on a bus to toronto let alone an airplane to another province. i love him but i honestly think id refuse to get on a plane by myself. especially if i had gone through the stress of giving up the cats or hoosing to move or even leave for a significant period of time. he also has ties there and i dont and i feel like i’ll be _the_ goth girl of the province. like the entire province, i’ll be _the_ goth girl. but maybe i’m assuming and stereotyping - maybe theres a whole scene of people there i also dont want to fucking know.

but what if this is the thing? what if this is that turning point in my life where i say fuck it and i just do a thing and see where it takes me in this life that WITH OR WITHOU A DECISION ill still be living here for the next many decades and that’s really hard to fathom. like some days i think that “okay tomorrow imjust going to bus back to my building in bramalea and say hi to my dad and chill in my room & smoke some weed”. actually, honestly, alot of days. maybe every other day this real genuine feeling of being able to do this overtakes me an i feel very saddened by it. i will never be able to do that and that is nuts. but maybe part of it is living so close. doing the same things. living the same life. this isnt a life i made, this is a life that became.

maybe if i could take the cats i’d be more stoked on it but even i think it’s impossible. i dont know. i’m just going to try and plow ahead on my own thing - like i had been doing and reassess myself in the new year. maybe ill find “success” and within it “independence” where ill find what i have too valuable to give up. maybe nothing will change ill be desperate to find something different.

i didnt feel good though. like, i have some insomnia which usually bothers me but i know i napped late yesterday and ran out of weed and it’s okay. i knew i’d figure something out and if iwas soooooo desperate i couldve hit a dab. but it wasnt about the weed. the lack of weed didnt give me anxiety and i sort of sat back and witnessed myself cycle through my patterns of anxiety until i had made myself upset enough to cry. im not sure i had a real reason to. but all of these things weighed heavily on my mind and i wasnt able to talk about them and maybe now even this is something to think about on my own - if i wouldnt leave the province without him, should i go with him? it’s a truly independent decision and if i want to “follow”, it’s my responsibility to decide these things in order to be able to “follow”. the lack of weed perhaps made my usual level of anxiety harder to handle and although i tried, it was still going. eventually i began to think of christmas and how he’d be gone and if i didnt go with him we’d break up and just everything that could follow did and i wanted to leave. it was the middle of the night an i was upset and i wanted to go home

but i know this gives him anxiety. i know we’ve argued about going home after dark even. but i decided to follow the “switch” - i’m 27 years old and in no way bound to this person. theyve done numerous things far worse and i was essentially sitting beside them in the dark for hours on end for their benefit. i got dressed but it took me another 45 minutes to decide to leave. i thought id regret it - get half way there and feel stupid. maybe itd be really cold. but once i got on my bike i felt like i could breathe - i took back control. i feel like i panic at a sense of losing control of my own life. like i can lose control of situations but if i cannot atleaast control my own life and how i live, it causes panic attacks. once i felt in control i felt freedom - a freedom i didnt have to pay for. which is a really significant thing to think about.

i dont hate him. maybe this is not about him because he has all the right in the world to decide these things because we are two individual people moving forward and we have to decide on certain things to allow each other to exist in each others lives. i realized if he was going to the store with our friend he’d probably get up early to go which meant i’d be sitting aroun waiting while he showered and ate breakfast so i could be dropped off at home for a few hours. i decided i might as well skip the morning routine and get in a few hours of sleep. he’s supposed to take me pumpkin picking later which i am excited for but right now honestly im most excited for the small sliver of comfort i created for myself.

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