#im also jsut thinking of everything i could make a sticker for lol
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puhpandas · 8 months ago
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made a homemade Rab sticker to glue on the cover of my sketchbook!!
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straykats · 3 years ago
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this or that:
cats or dogs?
winter or summer?
school or work?
pen or pencil?
dirt or sand?
movies or tv shows?
ice cream or froyo?
would you rather:
be blind or deaf?
have no legs or no arms?
live your current age forever or live a different age forever?
talk to your past self about something or see what someone elses point of view was on something in the past?
only know one language fluently or know 50+ languages but only at a beginners level?
+ random questions
what apocalypse/zombie apocalypse based movie/tv show do you think you could survive in? (examples: the maze runner, walking dead, black summer, z nation, the 100, attack on titan, etc.)
if you could make one fictional character someone real in your life who would you choose? (could be from a cartoon, tv show, movie, book, etc and if their being portrayed by a real person this is with the assumption that theyll both exist but be two completely different people who very strangely look EXACTLY alike lol)
once again, under the cut for length!! gonna ramble a bit too for each i am so sorry but tyvm
cats > dogs!!!!!!! i do love both but aHHHHHH ive accepted that i am a cat person. its weird but i used to feel pressured into saying im a dog person bc everyone i knew had a dog? and i never really had any contact w cats either so that explains a lil bit but !! KJADVKJDNVJKDNVKJ i want a cat so bad and theres a cat cafe in my city but its a bit car for me rip but im really eager to go at least once!! but cats are scary when u hold them bc they're so.. small.. inside.. like.. their skeleton.. so small... im so scared like they feel so fragile and i know they're capable but still
winter > summer !! i love the rain and i dont love the cold but i hate the heat (esp australian summers) so !!!! like eyah winter sucks when you bave plans but as someone who rarely has plans i am Okay With That. summer is wHACK because you can be in short sleeves and you'll still be so uncomfy like tmi maybe but yknow when u're in shorts or smth and u sit on a chair for too long and u stand up and its like peeling a sticker off tupperwear without the ripping bit??? yeah bruh summer aint it for me
school > work...? maybe? i'm unemployed (im looking but most places are like !!! experience needed !!!! babes im asking u for experience) so idk but i do enjoy learning (without the assessments etc) so??? but work doesnt seem too bad... if you're allowing a "neither" answer, i shall choose that.
pen < pencil. i think. pencils flow smoother? i use pen more because its clearer/easier to see and bc habit and also people dont accept pencil for documents and assignments so yknow. but writing with pencil is more satisfying for me.
dirt or sand? babes (wait i've called u babes a few times im sorry if youre uncomfy w that! if u want, lmk and i'll change it) what is this question i have never ever EVER encountered this question before. but.. i think... sand... i'm thinking of dirt as soil and sand combined so.. just sand..
movies or tv shows? OH MANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN uh. depends? somethings are better as a movie and some are tv shows. i think i have more comfort/favourite tv shows as movies so maybe tv shows.. although i /am/ categorising anime and kdramas into tv shows.
ice cream > froyo. i havent had much froyo tbh but from the few times i have, i think i pref. ice cream..
would you rather:
be blind or deaf? blind. i enjoy listening to and find comfort in music way too much. I can also play instruments by ear and learn to adapt to not having sight so! i've grown up surrounded by music too much for me to not be able to have it in my life.
have no legs or no arms? no legs, i think.
live your current age forever or live a different age forever? different age lmaoooo but also i', saying this assuming that living my age forever or living a different age forever comes with the struggles of that age? i'm 19 rn and unemployed and have a few personal things going on and the expectations that are on me are a bit uhhh bc i can't exactly meet all of them so if i had to stay this age with my current experiences, i would rather a different age, one where everything is a bit more organised? but if i can stay 19 forever but still change my circumstances as time progresses then idm that.. so depends on what being a certain age forever means, if that makes sense.
talk to your past self about something or see what someone elses point of view was on something in the past?
only know one language fluently or know 50+ languages but only at a beginners level?
aw man im bilingual and i consider myself pretty fluent in both my languages (eng and viet), but viet im more fluent speaking than reading/writing? if i only knew english fluently (thus not being fluent in viet) i would be really disconnected because speaking viet is such a big part of who i am and my everyday life so its ahhhh... but 50 languages on a basic level...? how basic are we talking..? like conversational basic or like only knowing a few phrases? hm.
+ random questions
what apocalypse/zombie apocalypse based movie/tv show do you think you could survive in? (examples: the maze runner, walking dead, black summer, z nation, the 100, attack on titan, etc.) //// the maze runner maybe but only if we're including the first book/movie and i dont need to go into the maze LMAOOOO i aint got that ya protagonist energy in me. attack on titan... i'm not up to date so i've no idea whats going on in the recent season, but i don't think i could do that. the knowledge of titans on the other side of the wall would make me go bonkers HHAAHA. uhhh i can't think of any other apocalypse mvies/shows etc off the top of my head that i've watched/read so between tmr and aot, i would choose tmr, because at least then i wouldn't be aware of the outside world and i would believe being inside is all i have yknow? like even in aot if i believed that, the titans are too scary. im not saying those spider things in tmr arent scary but idk i'd jsut rather that AHAHA
if you could make one fictional character someone real in your life who would you choose? (could be from a cartoon, tv show, movie, book, etc and if their being portrayed by a real person this is with the assumption that theyll both exist but be two completely different people who very strangely look EXACTLY alike lol) // omg no stop i've like. this question always stresses me out wdym just one i have too many comfort characters ahfbhdbavkdhva BUT alec lightwood! ... as he is portrayed in the book, but with the appearance of matthew daddario. i just.. yeah. alec :(
ty for sending in these questions!!! i enjoyed going through them very much!!
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"life insurance calculator quote
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life insurance calculator quote
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life insurance calculator quote
life insurance calculator quote
Need to switch car insurance?
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I'm going to be buying a car hopefully in the next two weeks, and I'm just wondering what the average rate I should be paying for car insurance should be. I'm 23, live with my parents, would be parking in the garage, and the car I would be buying is a 2012 Honda Civic LX. I would mostly be using it for commuting to and from work, I've never had a car before so I know it's probably going to be somewhere around $300/month. Note: I live in Canada so if you're in the states there will probably be a big difference in how much I pay.""
Why is health-care so expensive?
Just last year in CA Medi-Cal (state medicaid) stop covering for dentistry and optometry for people over 21. The total cost of my dental braces is $4550. I need them so I can fix some teeth that are misaligned. I pay $100 and it seems like its a never ending balance. I been doing this for 2 years now. I have Medi-Cal because of my SSI but that doesnt cover anymore because I am 21. My mother had heart surgery in 2007 and we still haven't payed a bill. My parents don't have any insurance. They used to have Medi-Cal but when Schwarzenegger became the governor in 2003 he made some changes to the policies and they stop having Medi-Cal. She tried applying for SSI but she keeps getting denied. The republicans should stop attacking Obama and work together to pass the health-care reform.
How much should my car insurance go up if....?
Two years ago I got tickets for both running a stop sign and wreckless driving.And just now the state has turned it in to my insurance company who will drop me just because of those tickets,even though I had a good driving record before then.But Iam trying to work things out with them to see if I can get a deal. How much should my insurance go up?""
How can insurance companies make money by selling life insurance?
Everybody will die eventually. But will insurance company pay the beneficiary all the time?
How much will an average full coverage insurance for a BMW motorcycle cost. Type k1200r.?
I have no traffic violation and perfect credit record. I am 56 years old.
Where can I get the best Auto Insurance Quotes?
My semi-annual auto insurance renewal is coming up. I've shopped before and I think I'm already getting a damn good rate, but still I'd like to try to get an even better rate. I've tried both Geico and Progressive, and both quoted me over $200 higher per year than I already pay. Any other good suggestions? This would be for coverage in California.""
Which insurance companies offer the lowest rates for a vehicle?
I would just like to know with peoples experience with different insurance companies which ones are more reasonable than the others. I'm looking to buy a sports car soon so I just need to know which insurance company won't rip me off. thanks
New driver insurance?
im a 17 year old male, just passed my test and trying to get insured. i've been on all the comparison sites with all stupid quotes. Does anyone know any cheap insurance sites/brokers Please Help!!!!!!!!""
What does liability insurance give you?
I recently crashed my car and it is as of now being determined to be my fault. My dad pays for the insurance so I am not sure what we get under liability. We are with Farmers Insurance and I was just wondering what usually happens here. Do they give me anything if they determine I'm at fault? Does anyone have this insurance coverage with farmers? If so, can you please tell me what you get under it?""
Is farmers insurance that bad?
I've read a lot of bad reviews about farmers insurance. i have an interview with them next week for a bilingual office claims representative position... What would be the career goal at this position. to become an agent in the future?
Is car insurance cheaper for used cars than new?
I hear a lot that when getting you're first car that you're supposed to buy a used car and not a new car because auto-insurance is going to be cheaper. Is there any truth behind this?
How do I find out if my insurance covers Mirena?
I have Blue Advantage/MN Care for my health insurance and have been looking into getting the Mirena IUD.. I am on daily birth control pills now, but would like to switch to something more effective/semi permanent.""
Question about car insurance?
I'm wondering something about car insurance. I am a 17 year old male, (turning 18 in 1 month) and have been driving a 2001 Hyundai accent since October. I am insured with esurance, and have liability only. I have a clean driving record. My monthly insurance is $197. I am on my parents policy. When I first called to get a quote, (cheapest company for me) it was around 120 a month, but then they got the VIN number and of course it went up because it knew exactly what car it was. Of course car insurance is very expensive for a male my age. My question is that I'm trying to save money to buy a jeep wrangler this summer. Will probably be a year 1997-2003. I want to know about how much it would cost to insure the jeep. I hear mixed responses about the cost to insure a wrangler, iv heard it's expensive because of the high theft rate and roll over chances. I know of course I don't know how much it will be exactly, considering I don't have a VIN number for the jeep wrangler. I get extremely expensive quotes when I search online, and the are all completely off. My parents policy has probably 4 or 5 cars on it and I am excluded off everyone's car. My sister has been in 2 wrecks and 2 speeding tickets, which I heard makes my insurance increase also. Anyone who has a general idea about cost for me to insure a jeep wrangler, thank you.""
What are the best websites to get car insurance quotes from different companies in New York City?
What are the best websites to get car insurance quotes from different companies in New York City?
Will medical insurance l be Mandatory in usa?
will medical insurance l be Mandatory in usa ?
How much is motorcycle insurance for a 21 year old?
I'm 21 and I'm gonna get a motorcycle I just wanted to know how much some of you 21 year olds pay for motorcycle insurance
Cheap insurance for 22 year old male?
Hello, my insurance is really expensive because of some DMV points and accidents. I am currently with farmers insurance but I need to look for a cheaper insurance. I am a 22 year old male driving a sports car. Which insurance company will I be most likely be able to get as close to $350 per month?""
""Car wreck, how much is the insurance going to give me?""
I got into a car wreck sometime this month of May. It wasn't my fault, the guy made an early turn and hit me. My car and his car are now totaled. I was wondering how much money the insurance will give me on the newer car...? By the way, I have a 1995 Honda Accord Ex and its now totaled. I just wanna know how much they will pay me back? And I have insurace, but not full coverage.""
I just got a new car and was wondering what is the cheapest insurance?
I just got a new car and was wondering what is the cheapest insurance? I need some cheap Insurance that won't charge alot besides USAA is there anyone else out there that will give me a good price I am currently 20 years old and I need a good insurance company that wil not charge alot besides USAA I have a dodge stratus 2004 it's a V6 it's an SE it's a 4 door and 2.7 liters it's the biggest engine you can get with a stratus anyways if any of you could help me out that would be great thanks.
Car insurance help? How much?
I'm 18 years old and I just got my drivers license, I own a Eclipse Mitsubishi 95.""
Does it cost to cancel car insurance?
I have state farm insurance and I was wondering if there was a fee for canceling the insurance. Like with cell phones for example.
What's the least expensive adequate health insurance for a Connecticut resident?
Aetna Anthem Blue Cross Cigna ConnectiCare Harvard Pilgrim Kaiser Permanente MVP Medicaid Tricare United Health Care Yale Health Plan Pharmacy Benefits is a must I believe
Health & dental insurance?
I'm 20 years old and I am in bad need of insurance. I really need dental insurance because I need a root canal and when I turned 18 and could no longer be on my mother's insurance I had no choice but to not get the root canal. And I desperately need it done. Where can I go to find quality but affordable health & dental insurance for my age? I live in Alabama.
I am looking for the home page of atlantic highlands insurance?
I am looking for the home page of atlantic highlands insurance?
life insurance calculator quote
life insurance calculator quote
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/home-insurance-quote-katy-tx-mary-ramirez/"
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not-tryin-2-have-a-debate · 7 years ago
Text
part 2 poetic waxing
i keep getting really mad at my ex the second i realize i was thinking something thats not real
because to the best of my knowledge she read this blog and heard me talk about my expiriences for so long and then she,,,,completely misunderstood them and tried to replicate them in a way that doesnt. make sense. and isnt what this is. and im still hoenstly really offended by that because wow. and i just wanna say like. especially since this blog is pretty much entirely Unseen now
like
im still terrified to recognize myself as psychotic
i dont want to be psychotic
im afraid to talk about it with my doctor or even touch on the symptoms and eps of it and im terrified to get put on pills for it and its a shit show
i think with the people im closest to i try to normalize the idea of being that way with myself
and i pretend the idea of being psychotic doesnt terrify me and say it freely because its not going away and im scared and i need to learn to not be so scared if im going to deal with it in any capacity i need to be able to recognize it
it was a long process.
i didnt start being that way overnight and i didnt recognize it until way after it started
and its not just 1 thing
to me the embodiment of it and the whole problem is that youre just constantly trying to figure out whats real and whats going on like your being hit on all sides
id describe my perception of and ability to perceive reality as a wall thats always being eroded down but can also have parts break off or have holes blown in it at any second...and im constantly trying to build the wall back up and reinforce it and repair it. but i usually dont have a fully formed wall and even if i got there id only be able to maintain it for so long until half of it got blown up again. etc etc wall metaphor if i leave it itll just fuckin collapse entirely
but yeah yknow like.
a delusion isnt just ‘when you think something that isn’t real.’
and like not to dip a bit too much into tumblr vocab and context or whatever but like,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,the way Neurotypicals take symptom descriptions at total face value is...tiring. idk how else to describe it. theres so much context missing.
these symptoms for me started up when i was a kid and got worse.
it was because i have so much family history with this shit that i finally noticed it and compared and recognized the beginning to get worse problem
because ive seen it in my brother and my uncle and my grandma and my family for years and i know it up close and personally
i dont just have some kind of kooky thoughts that i recognize arent real while im having them. my ability to do that at all came with practice and time and repitition.
i dont know when im not dreaming.i see and feel things that arent there.
i think thoughts that i cant recognize as mine and are usually a bunch of nonsense word salad shit.
i have real prolonged trouble recognizing myself as a human being thats physical and has human limits.
i have toruble percieving the present. i have trouble remembering the past.
i constantly really for real feel like ive seen this before.
every time i have deja vu i like have a whoel fuckign Moment lmao
i assume people think the worst of me and want to hurt me.
i assume the end of the world is happening out of nowhere and i really think its happening.
i think God is trying to punish me.
I think spirits are coming after me.
I really believe it.
I spend my day crying and panicking and hiding from shit that isnt real.
i convince myself my whole life is some kind of divine punishment.
its on top of that and
its after years of that
and years of seeing family members older than me and farther into it than me degrading at the same time
that i think some dumb shit and immediately catch myself
or that i think im getting psychic messages and can immediately be like ‘ok calm down’
its because im trying to convince myself im NOT like a psychic prophet and ive been able to recognize it before that i can see a message for what it is and recognize what im doing
its bc ive corroborated the expirience with my brother after doing it for years and years already
i didnt wake up one day and start thinking i was a prophet but also recognizing thats crazy yknow
i thought i was a prophet and then as i grew up i started realizing that it was crazy because i found resources and saw what my family was going through and got so sick of the worst parts and thought something had to be wrong with that picture
and even then the messages arent a delusion
having dejavu and being suspicious of it isnt a delusion
wishing something was true isnt a delusion
believing in gods and spirits and weird reincarnation stuff isnt a delusion
they’re parts of a whole and thats only a few of the parts
like an example of levels
really liking a celebrity isnt psychotic
wishing you were married isnt psychoticdaydreaming about being married to them isnt psychotic
imagining they’re talking to you or they’re addressing something in an interview to you isn’t psychotic, in and of itself (imagining the message but also kind of beliving it also isn’t )
actually beliving they’re addressing you in an interview or something isn’t a delusion, and though its like Psychotically-associated isnt An Automatic Sticker Of Psychosis slapped on your forehead
forgetting you aren’t acutally married sometimes isn’t a delusion.actually beliving you’re married to them is a delusion.
you won’t be able to recognize it as that until later.
the other behaviors, for you, since youre having a delusion, will come off of that.
someone non-delusional who really loved to dream about it might convince themselves into some magical thinking about the celebrity.
for you though, its because you’re married. you’re literally actually married so of course they’re leaving little hints for you! you never get to see each other!
you rationalize it.
because you believe it and having someone put a crack in things you believe in is scary for anyone.
i mean especially wow if someone told you were werent actually married to your spouse and didn’t even know them? they didn’t even know youre name or that you existed? that would be horrifying. of course youd come up with rationalizations.
and that delusion probably started because you really liked them and because you were lonely. but also because youve been having some issues and either are psychotic, were developing psychotic symptoms, or like Had The Propensity To Be Psychotic in general yknow like. the seeds were there or you were already living life as a psychotic tree and this was just a new branch.
after a while they might start to get it.
they might start poking holes in there own reasoning and being brave enough to follow that path.
and hopefully from there theyll get to the still-beleving-it-but-also-recognizing-its-’fake’ stage.
there are a lot of reasons i dont want to be psychotic.
no one should want to be.
anyone who says they want to be is either someone who’s a disgusting creep thinking other peoples crisises are some hot edgy mysterious shit OR theyre a psychotic person trying to humor themselves and be okay with themselves.
and you should be ok with yourself but that shouldnt replace wanting to improve and manage that really scary world-ending parts of shit.thats a whole other topic though
like
i dont want to be psychotic because im terrified of slowly loosing my mind. thats a freaky prospect that no one should really want. i only want that when im suicidal and wish i just didnt have a mind to think with at all kind of shit.
i dont want to be psychotic because i dont want to keep having these episodes and seeing this shit and thinking this shit. a lot of it is absolutely terrifying. other things are less active but like...i wish i could trust anyone ever. i wish i could trust my own judgement. i wish i didn’t get obsessive and weird about contamination and not be able to eat food or need to contain myself from freaking out if certain people touch me. that shit isnt cowering from God under a desk but its annoying and i don’t want to be doing it. i wish i could stop doing it.
i don’t want to be psychotic because once youve had it confirmed that you believe things that arent real that makes it just that much harder to trust literally anything you think.i have to check everything with people because what if im wrong or assuming or jsut being crazy or i thought something up that isnt true.and we all seem to have an amazing knack for like doign that whenever we were actually with reality, and forgetting to do it when we do actually have something a little confused lol. maybe thats subconscious.
i dont wanna be psychotic because i want some things to be true!! you know!! and learnign they arent is, again, confusing and really scary. no matter what it is. but if its something that you like or that brings you some kinda positive shit then thats even worse to have taken away and have be a lie. and even worse a Crazy Lie.
i don’t know how much of my religious views to trust and thinking that anything i believe in or think is up for questioning brings up a whole lot of good things that i dont want to be up for questioning.part of the reason im scared to go on meds is because im really worried some good things will turn out fake and go away.
im worried about what all could just like...dissappear. what if the whole world changed. what if im wrong about more than i thought or something that id never even considered.
like.....im out of steam now but.
yeah. idk
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