#im a nonbinary trans masc just for the record

[tiredbit]

I’ve known I was trans masc since I was 14. I knew then that it would be years before I would be safe to transition (if I ever did at all).

It’s been years and I find little ways to express my gender but I’m in my twenties now and I still know it will be years until I will be safe to transition (if I ever will at all).

Which is a long way to say, I am trans masc and I haven’t transitioned yet. I look like a woman. I play the part of a woman for work, school and at home. People think I am a woman.

So, please tell me how I experience male privilege. Tell me how it’s misgendering myself to call the prejudice I face misogyny. Tell me how I materially benefit from my trans masc identity

[lesbiansanemi]

the projection of your internalized transphobia is literally radiating off of you. leave trans men alone holy fuck we can't even speak about our oppression without someone who isn't even a transfem yelling about how we're taking the spotlight or something. while many transfems actually pitch in and are glad that we talk about things that never get talked about in the trans community bc yes it is mostly passing binary white trans women who get the spotlight 99% of the time lmao. like not only are u speaking over trans men ur also speaking over trans women who benefit from these conversations. idek why i'm writing this tbh im just holding onto some small hope that maybe you'll listen but i really hope you just grow out of this separation type mentality abt other trans ppl. no ONE type of trans person should get the 'spotlight' literally everyone's trauma and ways of talking about our oppression deserve attention equally bc erasure is not cool or sexy. im sorry that it seems like u have trauma or something from ppl who happened to be trans men (im guessing transmeds?? but those literally affect trans men too lol) but literally what makes you think that making an over generalization that all trans men are violent misogynists or something is not transphobic??? like ur not owning the evil trans men ur literally just vilely transphobic. like i genuinely hope you realize that someday or something. for the record this isn't supposed to be hate, i just wish you guys would see how terrible you treat trans men, like ur literally pointing out someone's marginalized identity on why u hate them. idk man just... we are supposed to be allies not enemies. please just find it in yourself to see that. if you wouldn't make that overarching statement about other trans people/marginalized groups, then genuinely why is it okay to do to trans men? just think about that. have a good day.

1. You are putting words in my mouth I did not fucking say, and 2. You are ignoring the ones I did

I never said binary trans men couldn’t talk about the issues they face. I never once said that anywhere. I never once said I hated trans men. I never once said being a trans man made someone a “violent” misogynist

What I DID say was that the community of trans men had issues with misogyny (internalized or other) but that any time someone pointed that out, they were accused of being transphobic (exactly what you are doing right fucking now)

Criticizing a community for an issue within it is not “hating” them and it’s certainly not hateful or transphobic. You are the one reacting in such an extreme way to someone criticizing an aspect of your community. If I see misogyny (internal or otherwise) from trans women or genderfluid or non-binary ppl or or or I’m also going to point it out. I’m not “hating you” for your identity. I never said “hate” anywhere. You are blowing a valid criticism of your community way out of proportion to paint me as nothing but transphobic so you don’t have to consider your own biases

A lot of trans men ARE misogynistic (some internalized, some not). A lot of trans men ARE transmisogynistic. A lot of trans men (ESPECIALLY gay trans men) are lesbophobic

I’m saying this as a trans masc person who has tried interacting with your community and people in it a lot, and has dealt with these issues on multiple occasions in multiple ways

You are also proving my point that you don’t see afab nonbinary ppl as “””””really”””” trans in comparison to binary trans men from the way you’re talking to me. MY experiences don’t count, obviously. MY opinions on the trans community don’t matter because I’m not REALLY trans cuz I’m not a binary trans man and therefore basically cis, right? That’s what you’re implying, after all! I’m “talking over” the REAL trans people

As a trans masc person, saying “wow, this community has a lot of unchecked transmisogyny” is not speaking over transfems. Transfems have SAID this and pointed it out and you don’t fucking listen to them either

You’re right. We are supposed to be allies. But if we are to be, you need to accept that other marginalized subgroups within your community are sometimes going to point out that you have your own biases to examine, and when they do, maybe you should actually think about that and consider it rather than scream “YOU SAID SOMETHING NEGATIVE ABOUT ME THEREFORE YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY A RAGING BIGOT WHO FUCKING HATES ME BECAUSE OF MY IDENTITY” You can’t just accuse everyone of transphobia if they say something you don’t fucking like

And I’m not even gonna touch the “cis passing white trans women get 99% of the spotlight.” Like wow. Not even trying to hide the transmisogyny there bud huh. That is such a generalized blanket statement that is not true in ANY capacity. Also very funny of you to go on and on and on about how “spotlights” don’t and shouldn’t matter when it comes to oppression and then say that. You are just… proving my point. You want a reason to get bitchy about trans women so bad you will literally make them up

Don’t come into my inbox, do exactly what I was saying the community had a problem with, make assumptions about my so called “trauma with trans men”, accuse me of being “vilely transphobic”, and then tell me to have a good day

As I said in my original post, gay trans men be fucking normal about women for once, and don’t accuse everyone of being transphobic when they point out misogyny in your fucking community

[tvxcue]

hey idk if u hc sam as a trans woman or if that's another blog i'm following but i don't really have a big blog so i have selected you to be my holy mouthpiece so feel honored, i guess. there's not a lot of tma ppl in this fandom like that's just a fact it's mostly cis lesbians, transmascs, and tme nonbinary people or any combination of the aforementioned. and i think it's great to hc sam as a bunch of genders and sexualities but. this is the key thing. sam is originally a cis man in the show with female love interests. many trans people, specifically trans women, find it transphobic to hc a cis man as a trans woman bc, whether or not it is intended, assigns masculinity to trans women or implies that trans women are just feminine men. not that it's wrong for trans women to be masculine, it's just. i'm not wording this correctly. the same goes for genderbending, it implies female is the opposite of male and ignores all the other genders. i can't say whether or not this is a huge issue bc i'm tme but i want transfems to feel safe in this fandom

i'd like a response if that's alright with u. i know it's A Lot to respond to. again, i'm not sure if it was u or a mutual of yours but i've just seen a lot of trans girl sam posting and calling saileen lesbians in general. for the record, i don't think sam is cishet and i don't think its wrong for ppl to project hcs of their identities on characters but the amount of tme ppl i've seen do this to sam in particular just bothers me

im going to group your asks!

okay so i think i understand what you mean and i think this interview with jen richards (a trans actress) words what you’re trying to say about associating cis men with trans women and why that’s transmisogynistic. i agree that it’s problematic to associate cis men with trans women and there needs to be more awareness of the transphobia embedded in that, especially when people are headcanoning a character that is canonically a cis man and played by a man as a woman or a lesbian. from what i’ve seen, though, a lot of the people who do primarily headcanon sam as transfem/a lesbian are very much thinking of her as a trans woman/lesbian and don’t associate her with canon sam gender/sexuality wise. im also tme so im not really in a position to say if this is okay or not, but i don’t think they’re doing it in bad faith and i also think it’s important that we seriously discuss the harm these headcanons might be doing. it’s obviously not very possible to have a sam stan tumblr wide discussion, but if anyone wants to reply/reblog with a comment/anything else, please feel free to do so. 

i do think people need to be careful when discussing experiences that aren’t their own in order to be considerate to the people those experiences belong to, especially when you’re talking about an oppressed group and, like you pointed out, most of the people in the fandom are tme so when we talk abt trans women or transfem headcanons we need to understand that we are speaking as outsiders, even if we’re not cis.

i think in the last few months a lot of people in the spn fandom started to discuss gender in a very flexible way (which is also where you get the jender stuff and the “your [x] is gnc af” posts) and so that led to a lot of new interpretations of the characters, especially in regards to their genders and analyzing them through a lens that forced them outside of where they exist as cis in canon (like all the posts abt how gender troubles was required reading for spn).

i can’t speak for every sam stan but ik when i first got back into the fandom last year, the primary camps i saw for sam’s gender/sexuality were lesbian (usually in the context of samruby) or cishet and i, personally, as a lesbian sam stan, preferred lesbian sam hcs so that was the primary stuff i engaged with outside of what i posted. also the posts abt sam being all of the letters in lgbt really became a part of sam stans’ engagement with sam’s gender/sexuality, which led to more lesbian hcs and a lot of interpretations of trans as transfem.

and the lgbt all at once thing is part of the reason it happens with sam most often out of the spn characters, bc from my experience a lot of dean/cas (as individuals and a ship) stans view their being masc/men as an important part of their characters and relationship so trans headcanons tend to lean in that direction rather than transfem.

im genuinely not sure if it was me or not, my primary gender/sexuality headcanon for sam is nonbinary bisexual, but i’ve reblogged transfem and lesbian sam stuff and ik i’ve called sam my wife and stuff like that, so you might be right that it was me.

[genderfriends]

I present pretty feminine (shoulder length hair, flat chest, androgynous clothing) and im afab, can i still be nb? I'm comfortable like this, when I'm presenting vaguely androgynous-femenine I'm comfortable. My friend called me a "tucite/trender" last time i said smthn to that effect. Like of course I support other nb people who are fem or masc or androgynous but for some reason I can't get it through my head whether or not this is okay because I'm afab. Should I aim for more androgyny???

You can most definitely be nonbinary, and if that word feels right, you very likely are! The person who called you those shitty words is a transmed, a member of a group of people who believe that all trans people have to experience gender dysphoria (which, for the record, has been medically recognized to be false-- The diagnostic criteria for GD itself clarifies that not all of us have it) in order to have their genders respected. There's no basis for this, although they tend to move the goalposts a whole lot if you argue, so it's not really worth it aside from getting an understanding:

Just know that according to the APA, ICD-XI, WHO, and many other medical and research organizations who treat trans people, feeling more comfortable as another gender is enough of a justification to be who you are, no intense distress necessary. You shouldn't strive to be more androgynous unless you think you'd feel more fulfilled that way, because the way you are is pretty cool if I say so myself.

[awsugar]

❤️ 🌊 🌺

!! ty

What's your sexuality/gender identity? oof very complicated. i used to id as bi but switched to saying im just gay bc..i don’t see myself in a long term relationship with a girl. i think sexuality is very fluid though like i will never say never. recently i have wondered if i should go back to saying im bi because i definitely find women attractive, and i’ve been with them before but. idk its very confusing. my gender identity is somewhere between nonbinary and trans masc. he/him feels good but i have a hard time envisioning a life where i can be out and be myself bc...im not your typical trans guy at all. i just know id be a lot happier if i had been born a cis guy. as for how i identify in the body i’ve been given i’m still a bit confused. i id as mlm though like i was talking to a friend and i have always been attracted to guys in a gay way. those relationships are the ones that make me yearn the most.

Ideal date? hmmm...i would say going to a show but i don’t think thats a good DATE unless you’re like...already past the getting to know each other stage. going to a show is something you do with someone you like, not something you do to get to know a new person...i think. idk why i’ve specified that this date has to be with a new person...idk...probably because i’m single. anyway i’ll say maybe going record shopping and then to dinner? i haven’t been on many creative dates it’s usually jsut going out to eat..

List three things you like about yourself oh hmm i’m usually bad at giving myself compliments lol...my eyes, my singing voice, and i think i’m funny sometimes

[andronauts]

here’s some personal hc’s for the phantom thieves i have, some of which are basically canon but i wanna include anyway lol

ren - bisexual and trans or bisexual and nb/agender trans-masc. he’s openly bi but he’s a stealth trans guy/masc and he passes very well. only a few ppl know he’s trans (sojiro and futaba bc sojiro’s his caretaker and futaba’s nosy, tae and possibly maruki bc she’s his doctor, kawakami bc its in his official records and shes his official teacher, makoto bc shes also seen his school records, and haru bc hes the only phantom thief he’s come out to bc she’s openly trans) 

ren is NOT cis, however i hc him as a he/him lesbian ONLY in his romance with makoto and not any other route. most of my canons he is trans-masculine or a trans man.

morgana - straight . honestly could be cis or trans.

ryuji - bisexual but had issues with internal homophobia for the longest time. has a huge crush on ren and is lowkey attracted to yusuke but is too awkward and has too much internal issues with his internal homophobia to do anything abt his attraction. also he has adhd :) (hyperfocuses and loses track of time also bad at volume levels and yeahhh just. a lot.)

ann - bisexual with a lean for women, is openly bi and proud of it and very in love with shiho though she’s kind of lowkey attracted to ren and they flirt with each other 

yusuke - asexual and aromantic and autistic. or maybe ace and gay too?? i can never make up my mind. he’s defo autistic tho.

makoto - LESBIAN AND autistic. i am honestly so uncomfortable shipping her with ren bc i’ve never ever seen a character more lesbian coded in my entire life that seeing her romance genuinely makes me uncomfortable unless i hc ren as a he/him lesbian. she’s also autistic, though she’s a lot more good at masking it than yusuke (or she’s just not as eccentric as him so people dont think she’s autistic but she’s 100% autistic).

futaba - ALSO autistic. she’s nonbinary and pan and uses he/they/she pronouns. she also is schizo-af with ptsd but this is canon

haru - TRANS GIRL. TRANS. GIRL. TRANS GIRLLL JGLSGS. SHE IS A TRANS GIRL. she’s also pan. shes openly trans but ren isnt. ren comes out to her bc she’s the first trans person hes ever met .

akechi - gay and autistic. might have bpd but idk much abt bpd to say anything abt that but i think he might have it

kasumi - honest to god i dont know mcuh abt her bc i just reached futaba’s palace and im only on her rank 3 but she gives me straight and cis vibes so far. i still like her but thats the vibes she gives me LOL.

+ bonus mishima: bi with a lean for women, has a massive crush on ren but too awkward to do anything abt it. isnt open abt his bisexuality like ren but doesnt hate himself over it like ryuji. mishima hates himself for other reasons :PENSIVE:

[when-dust-is-gone-blog]

Guys i want to cry I'm so fucking overwhelmed in a good, happy way!! I have been a whirlwind of emotions and questions and realisations and I feel like I'm really starting to figure things out and become myself and it all started from a video i saw on facebook about nonbinary genders and i decided to track down the maker of this video to try and find more content and instantly just fell in love and related to this person and their journey so much and it made me question everything i knew about myself. and this person has since reached out to me and offered to chat with me about my gender stuff and it's like YOU ARE MY IDOL YOU ARE THE REASON I'M EVEN THINKING ABOUT THIS I OWE YOU MY LIFE AND NOW YOU WANT TO HELP ME EVEN MORE??? So I'm just so blessed and i believe i have been sent an angel from queer heaven to take me on this journey.

Anyway while im out here having a million realisations a day I figure maybe i should start tracking and recording my thoughts and feelings and "aha!" moments. So here are some things:

- it turns out my lifelong attraction to and fascination with gnc people, particularly androgynous and masc presenting gnc (david bowie, la roux, gay and trans men) is not a sexual preference but my soul crying out to be like them. ofc im drawn to and attracted to them duh that's so obvious now. I spent so long a) wondering if there was something wrong with me preferences and then b) wondering if i was like...fetishising trans and gnc people but no actually in the same way i spent ages being drawn to and interested in gay culture as an "ally" turns out i was just responding to the call of my people

- one of my main worries in all this was my experience of dysphoria and how it doesn't match the traditional narrative ive known theough popular content and trans/nb friends. i have never hated nor wanted to reject my femininity, my womanhood, or my female body. but i had never let myself explore any other option or way of presenting. I fantasised about it a lot, and often would dream of or about of being a man. and it never even occurred to me to try dressing masc or binding and im wondering now how much of my love for "girly" stuff was actually just patriarchy instilling it into me. like yea i still like makeup and dresses and look great in them but god it felt so fucking good to just wear a button up and binder and thick eyebrows today!! I got so many compliments! I couldn't stop taking selfies! I kept stopping to stare at myself in reflective surfaces!! I dont remember EVER feeling that way about myself

- i spent a lot of my early teens wondering if i was ace because i had no desire to explore my own sexuality, and obvs part of that was being GAY AF but also I never really explored my body and i wasn't comfortable doing so. nowadays i am and i dont feel dysphoric in that respect but in terms of letting OTHERS touch my body that's a whole other story and i always put it down to just regular old anxiety or body insecurity but i realise now it was dysphoria and i didn't even know it, i just knew SOMETHING felt wrong.

- i actually have a very distinct memory of beinh like really really young, maybe 4 or 5, and wanting to pee standing up and thinking that because i was pretty good at it that made me a boy, i also very distinctly remember finding my clit and not knowing what it was and thinking it either was or was going to grow into a penis - and i was cool with that.

- ive always related very strongly to trans and nb issues and i always just put it down to being humanitarian and having good queer influences growing up and then later being part of the queer community but im rly starting to see why i related so strongly

- i also rly distinctly remember my mum calling me into the lounge when i was like 12 because there was a 60minutes special avout trans kids and even though i never related it to myself at the time i was SO CAPTIVATED and it really stuck with me

- in the same way I ID'd as bisexual for a long time due to comphet, I'm wondering how much of my identity as a woman has been forced upon me. The further i let myself fall into trans and nb stuff the further i feel from womanhood and i thought i would be sad about it but it's almost a relief?? Like i was pretending without even knowing i was.