#im a little sick and its cold and rainy outside so im curled up in my reading chair with a book

[sacklerscumrag]

.

[yoshkeii]

"𝚂𝚎𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚝𝚎."

࿐ character(s): Daishou Suguru, Atsumu Miya, Sakusa Kiyoomi

࿐ genre: angst (to fluff)

࿐ type: headcanons (hcs)

࿐ requested: yes, as a continuation of  "𝚄𝚗𝚎𝚡𝚙𝚎𝚌𝚝𝚎𝚍.”

⌦ male!reader (he/him)

⌦ mentions ; cheating (atsumu’s), angst to fluff (sakusa)

⌦ they all have different scenarios, so its best to check out the first post for a little more context.

A/N: never expected to make a part two, but i guess the feedback said otherwise. its been awhile since ive written anything, so i may be rusty, disregard mistakes too please-

𝙽𝙾𝚃𝙴 ; this is queued. i am still on my hiatus.

𝙳𝚊𝚒𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚞:

→ ever since the argument, you had left. taking majority of what was yours and what you could in the quickest of matters. you and Daishou barely talked or interact within those days. often dead silence within the shared home... or rather what was shared.

→ it was quite suffocating as well, leaving each other after a long relationship you both committed to. but you had a gut feeling it would end unfortunately.

→ Daishou had seen you leave for the last time past the front door. only exchanging a blunt “bye.” before disappearing behind the solid door. he really hoped this was all lies and games, but it wasn’t. he knew this was real, he knew this will be his reality. without you. the fading steps signaled that you were not gonna look back.

→ since then, he hasn’t heard of you since. he hasn’t seen your name around social media and only the bittersweet memories of when his friends would bring you up came into mind.

→ but it was like, you erased him from your world. and yet Daishou still held tight of the cut thread that lead to you. the other end laying flat onto the floor as the other end you had, disappeared as a whole. a huge gap between you both.

→ him being in denial, he kept mainly to himself. 

→ the old shared space felt empty. drastically different every time he would come home. he would hear your welcoming voice that made his whole body so warm and fuzzy, but now, the silence was painful and cold as he stepped inside his so called ‘home’. he didn’t know why...

→ but he really wanted you back. he wanted to see your face no matter when he came home. he missed your whole presence. he yearned for something that he could’ve kept if he would just shut up.

→ Daishou didn’t expect to see you here. at the same party he would be invited to, he watched you from the second floor that had the view of the merged rooms of the living room and kitchen. seeing you laugh and smile with two other friends who you stumbled upon, the sight made his heart sting.

→ a sharp stab straight through his chest, only thinking if he could be the reason for that smile. that laughter. oh he envied it.

→ he tried to avert his thoughts away before he heard some whistles and calling of names, to see your figure slip away with someone else from the crowd.

→ watching you both from his higher position, he noticed your hands intertwined with the other. his own hand slightly clenching the daring drink he held, the other grasping the rail tighter the longer he watched.

→ Daishou’s eyes soon looked up at your face. the expression you had made him feel conflicted.

→ the wide pure smile you had accompanied with the deep flush, made him feel that oh so familiar feeling. but knowing he wasn’t the cause of it pained him.

→ although, seeing you with someone deserving made him feel at ease. but the stabbing dagger in his heart laid there still, only reminding him that he could’ve been that better person.

𝙰𝚝𝚜𝚞𝚖𝚞:

→ after the confrontation, you and Atsumu had split ways of course. it was difficult to move on and realize the situation at hand, to the both of you.

→ seeing where your stuff would be gone in the shared space made it surprisingly empty and less... alive. the whole place felt dead and empty, like a home left abruptly without an obvious reason of why.

→ but Atsumu knew why, and it began to nag at him. it made him feel so guilty to do that to you. to him, you were so pure, kind, and oh so nice. he could go on about your looks too, he really could. but every thought of you made his mind so hazy and clouded with distraught. 

→ why did he cheat? you were loyal to him- if only he could be too.

→ its been a couple years since then, it was tough for Atsumu. he had cut ties for who he was cheating with, regretting what he did and in hopes to regain you back before- didn’t obviously work. so now he stayed alone in the home that practically mocked him of his decision. 

→ he was quite surprised Atsumu wasn’t blocked by you throughout social media etc. but he didn’t dare to strike a conversation and laid idle as he saw you occasionally appear on his feed. 

→ seeing you mention being in relationship but only giving vague hints and images, truly never revealing who to your followers. 

→ sighing as he slipped his phone into his pocket, he didn’t want to think about it all, so he decided to pay a visit to Osamu at his restaurant. to his twin’s dismay.

→ arriving there fairly quickly he waved at his brother who was behind the counter cleaning up for the night, seeing his twin wave back slightly before continuing on whatever he was doing.

→ Atsumu couldn’t help but noticed the metallic object that wrapped around Osamu’s ring finger. 

→ “..’Samu? What’s on yer’ hand?”

→ “Oh- ya noticed already. I got engaged not so long ago, or recently.”

→ curiosity jabbing at the blonde made him eagerly question again.

→ “I- What?? By who!? ‘Samu ya didn’t even tell me you were in a relationship!” Atsumu could only just whine, knowing his brother didn’t share with him about his personal life after highschool. 

→ “Shut up ‘Tsumu.. Don’t be so loud in my restaurant or I’ll kick yer ass out of here!”

→ “..but do you still wanna know?”

→ Osamu seeing his twin nod with anticipation made him sigh, knowing this wouldn’t end too well. “Well.. me and [Name] are getting married. Just got engaged with him two days ago.”

→ “..[Name]..?” Atsumu could only repeat the familiar name, his voice faint but still audible to his brother’s ears.

→ he couldn’t believe it. his brother... and.. 

→ “W-well-! That’s.. nice for both of ya, haha..” the blonde tried to played off, hoping that the wavering of his voice didn’t catch his attention but, Osamu already knew, simply playing along as the conversation continued and slowly shifted off to something else.

→ Atsumu had left the place rather quickly than he originally intended to stay- but he didn’t expect it. he didn’t expect you being engaged with his twin, eventually knowing you’ll see each other soon.

→ he didn’t know how to feel about this. he was happy for both of you- but- he wasn’t over you. although it has been more than two years, he wasn’t. he missed you, he yearned to see you again. he wanted to hear your laughter and giggles, your voice overall. he wanted to see you smile, he wanted to see your handsome face. 

→  he wanted... you back. but he knows he can’t have you. not anymore.

𝚂𝚊𝚔𝚞𝚜𝚊:

→ when you left passed the front door, you hadn’t come back after a few minutes. and it was.. raining. pretty badly.

→ having worry built up in his stomach that soon turned into a mixture of anxiety made him feel uneasy, overthinking the situation and words he said to you earlier made him choke on his actions. 

→ snapping out of the trance, he rushed to go grab a coat to slip on. retrieving his phone. hurrying out the front door hoping to find you haven’t gotten too far already, almost slipping down some steps of the apartment building on the way to find you.

→ the rushing anxiety continue to flow through him, making his movements more loose and clumsy as he ran off to find you. calling out your name aimlessly of the darkened rainy streets. not caring that his curls were getting soaked in the pounding rain, he just wanted to find you. 

→ to find you and keep you safe.

→ Sakusa’s heart kept increasing every moment he didn’t see you. he wanted to find you so bad- this anxiety he had was much worse than when around he was in crowds, this one felt more instinctual.

→ forgetting he had brought his phone, he slipped it out of his pocket quickly dialing and calling you. to find you answering on the second ring.

→ “..h-hello-?”

→ “[Name]..! T-thank god your safe.”

→ the slight mess-up Sakusa slurred with his words made you feel slightly worried, “..yes I am safe. what’s up with you??”

→ “Nothing..! But w-where are you?”

→ “I’m.. at a nearby cafe. Are you sure you-”

→ your boyfriend interrupted you quickly, “I’m on my way.”

→ “H-hey..! Don’t just-”, hearing the call end with singular beep, “aaaand.. he hung up..” you decided to look around from your position outside, grasping your phone nervously. realizing the rain was pounding down much harder than earlier.

→ the sound of the familiar voice calling your name from the distance caught your attention, gazing over to see Sakusa running over towards you. 

→ “S-saku-”

→ jumping lightly at the sudden hug he enveloped you, muttering soft rushed apologies over and over again as he hid his drenched face in the crook of your neck. he had continued his rambles of apologies as you hugged him back, rubbing his back lightly. watching the ravened hair male let it out a little longer before you could mutter reassuring words to him back.

→ the tension slowly rising from his muscles but the hold of his hug didn’t falter at all, only continuing to snake around your waist.

→ “..you scared me..” “...im really sorry, babe.”

→ you lifted your gaze to meet Sakusa’s, lifting your hands up to cup his face. brushing a few strands of hair away from his view sending a quick peck onto his lips. “you don’t need to apologize anymore Omi. you did enough already..”

→ “A-and you’re drenched! Baby, you’re gonna get sick-” you blinked, noticing how flat his hair was from the rain that couldn’t reach you both from the small roof over the entrance of the cafe. 

→ “..i-i’ll be fine..” the soft stutter Sakusa made noted he was embarrassed about the thought, “..i’m glad your the one not gonna be sick though.” he muttered before softly pecking your lips.

→ “Honey..” you sighed, taking your hands in his before heading inside the building. “..lets just get something to drink to warm us up, ‘kay? then we can head back.”

→ “I-m.. paying aren’t I-..”

→ “Yes. Yes you are. A treat after a bad tiring day!”

→ “..you just want sweets-”

→ “Shut it Kiyoomi.”

[voidselfshipp]

Saved

Cw: violence, food

Ok to rb

It was late, she knew she shouldnt be out at this hour.

Yet here she was, a bag of food in her hand, another with her keys ready, her breath quickens as she feels the presence of someone behind her.

She had the strenght to take them, she knew she could defend herself.

But there is no worse enemy than fear, she speeds up, and the Man behind her also does.

Shes praying, seeing her appartment was two blocks away,trying to start running.

Another Man walks infront of her, she cant see his face,just a black and white mask, who as soon as she passes him gets infront of the stalker stopping him.

-- get out of my way, asshole-- the stalker said.

-- what where you doing following her?

She knew that voice,or well she heard it before,the moon shined as some clouds move away.

Rorschach...

She didnt think the anti-hero would be around this block, but thank goodness he was there.

The stalker resists and rorschach in a swift move makes him fall on the ground-- leave the woman alone-- his foot stomped on his chest-- go back to the hole that you crawled out of,you Filthy Scum!

The stalker freaks out and bolts running away from the anti hero.

He turns to face jerico,walking some steps towards her-- are you hurt? Did that bastard do anything to you?

--No, thankfully, thank you uh...for saving me...

--im happy to help, can I Scort you back to your home?

--yeah id love that...

Both walk togheter in silence, the appartment building was silent as ever, she says her goodbyes and enters the building.

Rorsarch, or well, Walter, sighs, scratching the back of his neck, the woman he saved was so beautiful, If she started talking while walking he wouldnt know how to react, hed get nervous, his face would heat up and wouldnt be able to utter a Word, surely making a fool out of himself.

He stuck around the block for a little longer, and Walked up the Fire scape stairs, he peeks his head and there she was, fifth floor, asleep on her bed, something curled up besides her, she rested soundly,and he lets out a loved full sigh, putting a hand on the locked Windows glass it started to rain, and he then sighed in annoyance.

And so he went back home,making sure he wasnt followed either.

He took routes nobody knew, he checked every corner and alley, nothing,no-one tailed Him to his home.

The door clicks Open, he locks it behind her and takes off his mask,breathing the fresh air.

Taking off his clothes changing into normal ones,leaving the others in his secret Office.

As he enters the kitchen hes greeted by this tiny pomerarian jumping at his feet, he picks the dog up and kisses its forehead-- hello princess,did you miss me?--the dog barks and he makes himself something to eat.

After dinner, altough, late dinner, he went to sleep,clinging to the pillow,thinking of the woman he saved.

And so, destiny kept making them meet, or more so, rorschach would always make sure shed be safe, even during the day.

Silently following her from a distance,oh how much he blushed when he heard her laugh, her sense of style, it knocked the breath out of him sometimes.

He wished he could do something,anything to talk to her, but he cowered every time.

One particular Day,she had it rough, when the day ended he saw her throw herself on the bed,and pass out shortly after.

Hed got her some chocolates and roses, left them there in her room as she forgot to lock the Window,he left them on her desk, silentely stepping out and closing the Window.

--Good night dear...--he smiled under his mask.

Jerico woke up by the licking of her pet dragon she sits up hugging him--mornin...

The dragon squeaks and she looks at the desk, finding the gift someone left for her, walking up to it she reads the note attached to the box of chocolates "I know you had it rough yesterday, I hope this helps, I know nobody gave you flowers before... I hope todays better.

-W "

Who could they be? How did they gor in there-- im...such...an...idiot-- she locked the Window and put the flowers in a base filled with water.

After eating breakfast she sat on bed, laptop on her lap, writing the next chapter of her second Fantasy novel.

Unkown to her, her savior did enjoy her first book.

Now rorschach wasnt a Man of fiction, but her writing was just so catching and interesting.

So here he was drinking coffee while Reading on his kitchen, princess sitting on the table eating her food.

He found out she was a writer when he snucked into her home and found the first book of her novel, "the clan of the Rose dragon" he decided to buy his own copy, and he was enjoying it very much.

That same night he did his patrol and stopped in jericos home.

There he was, hand on the glass, wishing he was there cuddling besides her, specially tonight,a very cold and rainy night.

-- are you gonna come in or Will you Keep there brooding

Seeing her Open her eyes while talking to him makes rorsarch jump back, she opened the window-- come on its cold outside

--i uh...didnt mean to bother you

Jeri chuckles-- nonsense, come on

He steps in taking off his trenchcoat, he sits on the chair right infront of her desk, she sits on the edge of the bed--thanks for making sure im always safe ror

He smiles at the petname,--just making sure that creep isnt around to harm you

She chuckles--y'know...I was thinking...I got some roses and chocolate the other week, did you get them for me?

Hes surprised,howd she knew?-- yeah...--he said scratching the back of his neck -- howd you figured?

-- well...youve been brooding in silence these nights...and the roses and chocolates...I just figured...I liked the detail, thank you

--im glad you like them...

Both stay in silence,he then looks outside and yawns.

--Want to stay the night? Its too late

He snapped his head to her -- what?

--want to stay the night? Its late, and youll catch a cold,cant have my savior sick -- she winks at him and he looks away with blush creeping up his cheeks.

--i uh..I dont wanna bother but...if you insist I can take the sofá

--no no..come here stay in the bed, its warm already, ill take the sofá in case you want to take your mask off, to give you privacy

Normally anyone would kill to see his face..but there she was, geniunly respecting such boundary.

--dont do that, ill take the sofa its your bed...besides I know I wont get too much sleep

She got into bed and patted the space besides her-- come here then,lets share

Hes taken back, jumping slightly in his Seat, blushing red, he was stuttering,she was so beautiful, he didnt know what to do with himself.

--i dont want to look like a creep, its your personal space

-- Its not being a creep if I invite you

He sighed in defeat and took his scarf and shoes off, he locks the Window and draws the courtains laying on the bed with her.

--Night ror-- she said her back facing his.

--night-- he whispered back looking at the bedrooms door.

The Next morning he woke up with breakfast on the nightstand, just a coffee and she made pancakes.

He ate the breakfast with the happiest and biggest of grins, he washed the dishes, hough the sun was already out, he stayed the whole day and at night he would go back home.

Both shared lunch and dinner, not too much speaking was involved, but her presence was soothing.

And now at night he was just about to leave,he hugs her tightly and whispers a soft goodbye.

She caresses his cheek-- come back tomorrow?..

His hand lifted her face by the chin--of course sweetheart --He caresses her Lower lip and presses his lips against her forehead, even while using his mask,the kiss was as if he didnt have the mask on.

He left back home missing her terribly, his lips longed for hers, to hold her, have her wrap her arms around his back...

Rorschach sighed in love, he loved her so much.

So the Next night he came back and as soon as he stepped into her room lifted her up, hugging her tightly and taking off his mask, at least up to his lips to kiss her.

She kissed back and pressed him against the wall where the Window is,he grippes the Windowsill with one hand, the other ghosted her Lower waist as her arms wrapped around his neck.

He parted his lips, she smiled pressing hers against his again, hugging her tightly he drops her to the bed where they cuddle the night away.

Its late, the rain hits the Window and the thunder struck the Sky.

She caressed his cheek, rorsarch sighed--can you promise me something?--he asked.

--Of course...what is it?--she asked leaning in.

--If I take this off, Will you Keep my identity a secret?

She nodded--of course,I adore you too much...id never snitch on you ror

He licked his lips at took the mask off, oh wait, she saw him before, he would follow her around the city,she always knew he was familiar to her in some way,never really knowing what seemed so familiar of him.

She kissed rorsarch holding him close, he hugs her tightly.

-- I love ya so much--he said hoarsely, kissing her again.

-- I love you so much too...ror

He smiled-- my names Walter...you can call.me Walter

She nodded and hid her face on the crook of his neck.

Theyd spend the night like that.

Theyd be okay togheter.

[phan-of-the-pen]

I Dare You To Stay: Chapter 9

YALL IM SORRY FOR THIS ANGST BUT LIKE THEY’RE A SHIT TON OF FLUFF IN THE BEGINNING DOES THAT BALANCE THINGS OUT???

Tags for chapter: fluff, mentions of depression, mentions of internalized aphobia

Words for chapter: 4.7k

Fic Summary: Dan Howell is a barista working a shitty job, frequenting his shitty apartment, and living a shitty existence, hiding his asexuality and going for a PHD in self-depreciation and depression. Phil Lester is a part-time intern, part-time employee at a local weather station, trying to get experience in his field and make a name for himself, while juggling a second job at the nearby Tesco’s to give him some financial breathing room. Their paths were never supposed to meet, but what happens when they do anyways, one rainy day in Manchester?

(ao3!)

<– Previous chapter Next chapter -->

~~~~~~~~~~

Dan was curled up on one of the booth seats, his feet tucked underneath of him, body leaned towards the huge, warm-to-the-touch window separating him from outside. It wasn't because he was cold—it was never cold in the store—but because the sunlight spilling in just felt too good on his skin.

He was on his lunch break and for once had decided to abstain from holing himself up in the break room. And okay, maybe it had something to do with Jaime letting him pick the music that played from the shop's speakers. But really, he was enjoying it much more than he had thought, even to the point of considering making it a habit. But it was still a consideration, mind you.

Dan scrolled through twitter, retweeting or liking some of the posts that caught his eye. He didn't know what time it was, but he knew that he had plenty of it; his break had just started.

"Wow, Dan, you look just like a cat basking  in the sun."

Dan jumped in surprise and snapped up his head from where it was staring down at his phone in his lap. Phil was sliding into the booth seat across from Dan, a smile on his face. He looked relaxed in a soft looking jumper and his glasses, hair done up in a quiff.

"Oh, hi," Dan said, lamely. He mentally berated himself, but tried to not let his awkwardness take center stage by ignoring it, praying Phil did the same. "It's been a while, Lester."

Phil snorted and took a sip of his coffee.

"A while? Dan it's been ages."

Dan laughed, and just like that, the air between them cleared and it was like they had restarted right where they had left off.

"Last time I saw you it was Wednesday, Dan. You're not allowed to be sick anymore, by the way. Thursday I had absolutely no one to talk to while I had my coffee, and I didn't even bother coming in Friday because I figured you wouldn't be here since you were so sick the day before. And then you're off on Saturday so I couldn't stop in then." Phil scoffed like the fact that he and Dan hadn't seen each other in a few days was a personal insult. And Dan really shouldn't have found the notion as cute as he had, and definitely not as endearing.

"So what? You'll only come in if I'm here?" Dan asked, a warmth in his voice and a grin on his face. Is Phil really that attached to me? Ha. For some reason, the prospect that Phil didn't know what to do with himself when Dan wasn't around just made Dan's smile spread wider.

Phil blushed, pink flooding to his cheeks and protesting weakly.

"No one else here makes my coffee the way that you do." He said, his face still pink and his bottom lip finding its way in between his teeth. Dan laughed.

"I'll make sure to rub the fact that I make the best coffee in her face later, then."

Phil hummed and brought the coffee cup in his hands up to his lips again for another sip. 

"How're you feeling, Dan?" Phil asked, pulled Dan from his thoughts.

"What?"

"How are you feeling? Like I know when I get sick I'm in this weird half-sick half-better stage for like a week afterwards; are you one of those people?" Phil said, his gaze returning to Dan's.

Dan nearly snorted.

Half-sick, half-better, huh? I think you mean my permanent state, Phil, Dan thought. He didn't dare think about saying it out loud though, no matter how often Dan seemed to just blurt things out. He had some self control.

Dan thought back to the past few days, to all of the hours melting together, a prisoner in his own mind. He saw himself laying in bed, not moving, just...just thinking, for lack of a better word. And really, it wasn't thinking at all, but self torture. Dan remembered the numbness that filled every part of his body, and how it had taken Jaime Friday and Saturday to finally pull Dan out of his own headspace.

Even today, it had taken him more time than usual to get himself out of bed and start his day. The world wasn't quite as vibrant, the smile on his face not quite as sincere, his depression still louder than normal. So yes, maybe he was in that half-sick half-better stage.

"Yeah, I would say I'm still somewhat sick." Dan finally settled with. He felt like he was lying with how vague he was being right now. But it was better than spilling about his dead mental health, right?

Phil frowned and reached forward so his palm was flush against Dan's forehead. Dan sputtered and felt his cheeks grow hot at Phil's cool touch. He ignored the heat on his face and tried to pass it off as nonchalance, hoping to god that Phil didn't notice.

"Stop fidgeting I'm trying to see if you have a fever."

"And what if I do? I'm at work so it's not like I can do anything about it." Dan said, determinedly not thinking very hard about how there would be no fever because Dan wasn't sick. Or at least, not like how Phil thought he was.

"Dan, if you have a fever you're going home even if I have to walk you back myself." Phil replied, seriously.

“Well what does my forehead say then, oh wise one?” Dan asked sarcastically.

Their eyes locked and something in Phil's glimmered. “Turbulence,” Phil said. “Conflict between what you want and what you need.”

“And what do I need?”

The hand was withdrawn. Dan missed it immediately.

“To be beaten at Mario Kart, of course.”

“Phil,” Dan said, laughing a little nervously. Once again, he tried to ignore what had just happened as best as possible, batting his eyelashes and trying to stay in step with whatever this was that they were doing. “At least buy me dinner first.”

"Okay." Phil said, as if it was the easiest thing in the world. Dan's eyes went wide and his mouth dropped open. He can't be serious. "We can swing by someplace before we get to my flat, or we can always order out." Oh my god he is serious.

"Besides," Phil said, with a sly curl of his lips, sipping at the coffee in his hand, "dinner is the least I could do.”

“Wait until you see me order a whole lobster. Your wallet will be crying.”

Phil’s eyes glittered. “Can you even get that delivered?”

“If you can’t, I’m quitting this job and setting up a lobster delivery service.”

“Nerd.”

“Dork.”

Dan wanted to know why talking with Phil was so easy, so natural. The only person that Dan had ever connected this fast with before was Jaime. And even then, their banter hadn't developed this quickly.  

"Invite me to the wedding," Jaime called from where she was wiping down a few tables with the ratty—but clean—washcloth she and Dan were always using. Neither Dan nor Phil had noticed her working a few feet away from them, and both of their eyes widened in surprise. Phil, however, took it in stride much better than Dan, the look on his face softening to one of amusement.

Fuck, how didn't I notice her there?

Phil laughed while Dan's face burned, surely as red as the lobsters they had just been fantasizing about. In the back of his mind, Dan worried Jaime would turn this into something like that, something to do with sex, like last time. He prayed that she wouldn't. He wasn't interested in hiding his discomfort at the implication that he would be involved in any kind of sexual situation, and he certainly wasn't interested in trying to pretend that the thought didn't make him mentally revisit parts of his past that just tear into his heart.

Dan's head started to work in overdrive, all kinds of repressed memories surfacing. He pushed them all away. Happy. That's what he was feeling a moment ago. Time to get back to it.

"I'm sure Dan will let you be his bridesmaid."

"Hey!" Dan cried, snapping out of his dark thoughts. He reached over and wacked Phil's arm, who looked entirely too pleased with himself. "Who decided that I would be the wife in this relationship? You would be the housewife for sure."

Phil gave him a look and Dan heard Jaime's snort all of the way from where she was standing clear as day. If anything, it only made Dan's blush deepen.

"The both of you are absolute bullies. I'm calling friend abuse for crushing my dreams."

"Yeah, Howell, I'm sure that's one of your dreams." Jaime muttered, finishing up with the table she was cleaning. Meanwhile, Dan wanted to find a hole and die.

He didn't like Phil like that. Sure, he was handsome and good company and had really fucking pretty eyes, but that was it. Besides, Dan didn't date.

Phil thankfully didn't comment, though. He twisted around in his seat so he could see Jaime and held out his coffee cup, a pleading expression on his face.

"Jaime, could you refill my coffee please?"

Jaime sighed, but stepped forward and grabbed it, nodding. She turned to walk away, but Dan called out to her as well.

"Could you get me a drink too?" Dan asked. Then, as an afterthought, he added: "Please?"

"You work here, Howell, you know how to make yourself a drink," she said, cocking an eyebrow, a disapproving look on her face. Dan shrugged and gave her the best puppy-eyed look he could manage.

"But I'm on break. Please? I won't ask for anything else the rest of the day."

"We both know that's a lie, but sure, Danny-boy, I'll get you a drink."

"Danny-boy?" Phil asked, a smirk starting to form on his face. Dan groaned, putting his head in his hands and cursing Jaime.

"Don't you dare start calling me that too, Phil."

Dan brought his head up to find Phil looking at him with a downright mischievous glint in his eye.

"Don't you dare."

"Are you-"

"Don't."

"-sure-"

"Phil!"

"-Danny-boy?"

"Oh my god."

Phil started to laugh and Dan didn't miss how the tip of his tongue stuck out in between his teeth or how after a few moments of breathless giggling he brought his hand up to his mouth. Fuck. It was adorable.

"I don't think this friendship is going to work with this blatant betrayal, Philip. I shouldn't have to put up with this. Especially not if I'm supposedly going to have to deal with this while I destroy you in Mario Kart."

Phil had finally managed to pull himself under control, and he gave Dan a semi-sobered look, but Dan could still see the repressed jokes and sly remarks that Phil was just dying to make.

"Beat me, huh? I'll have you know that I'm the best out of all of my friends in Mario Kart."

Jaime returned, two drinks in her hands, sticking her tongue out at the both of them in the process of handing them over. Dan noticed that she had drawn little frowny faces on their cups and laughed.

"Well," Dan said, turning back to Phil who was clutching his warm coffee in between his palms, "you're definitely wrong on that one, mate." Dan took a sip—yes, Jaime added in extra sugar. The heat of the liquid didn't bother Dan's mouth though; he was too used to chugging back a sometimes-still-burning drink on a regular basis in a desperate attempt to combat his lack of sleep in the mornings.

There was still a little voice at the back of Dan's skull that nervously fretted at how this was possibly a bad idea, but really, for once his social anxiety wasn't overriding everything in his system, and Dan was positively living for it.

"You're going to have to wait until the weekend though, if that's alright. I've got to work a bunch of double shifts to make up for the pay I lost by missing work, so I'm not going to have time until Saturday. You free then?"

"Yeah, I'm free for the whole day after I do my weather segment."

Dan snorted.

"Sorry, I forgot you were famous, Phil, but I'm glad you're making time for us peasants."

~~~~~

"No! No no no!" Phil jumped up from the sofa, his fingers furiously working at the buttons on the controller in his hands. His body was tense and his mouth was open in a silent protest. Dan, meanwhile, was laughing on the sofa behind him, relaxed as hell, and enjoying how Phil was desperately trying to beat him in Mario Kart.

He didn't stand a chance; Mario Kart was Dan's game.

Too bad it had taken Phil this long to figure out that Dan hadn't been lying when he said he would crush him.

Dan's grin grew to an impossible width when he got another power-up.

"Phil, oh Phil, I'd just stop trying if I were you."

Phil made a sound of protest, but didn't dare take his eyes off of the screen.

Maybe Dan was enjoying this just a little too much, but really, Phil was terrible. It was unbelievably easy to have this much of a lead on him, and Dan was sure that if he had pulled out all of the stops, he would have stretched the gap between him and Phil even wider. Currently, Dan was in first, Phil in fifth. Part of the reason why Phil was so far back was because Dan kept messing with him, dropping back just to hit him with a shell or something similar, more times than not making Phil swerve, running into a wall. And while Dan would laugh and pull back in first, Phil would groan and shove Dan's shoulder, pouting.

Dan drifted around the corner, and used his power-up, increasing his speed and sending him flying over the finish line.

"Yes!" Dan shrieked, thrusting his controller into the air and nearly jumping from the couch. Phil cried out in protest, a hopeless "No!" pouring out from his lips as the game ended. He spun around, and Dan couldn't stop laughing, feeling it in his whole body.

"How are you so good?! That's got to be something like witchcraft."

"Maybe you're just that bad." Dan managed to squeak out in between bursts of his hyena laugh. Phil's face scrunched up and Dan tried to reign himself in, but really, Phil made it too easy.

"That was just a practice! I could totally beat you now that my fingers are warmed up." He grumbled, walking back to the couch where Dan was splayed out and lying down, his long legs reaching all the way to the other side. He started to move them, but before he really could Phil just picked up his ankles and lifted them up, sliding under them and sitting on the sofa. Phil let Dan's feet drop into his lap and looked up at the screen, already selecting another map.

(Dan ignored the beginning of a blush on his cheeks because all Phil did was touch his ankle he shouldn't be acting like this)

"Are you looking to be beaten for a second time?"

"Ha. In your dreams, Howell. I'm going to be the one beating you today."

Dan scoffed, but the effect was ruined because he couldn't stop smiling.

Phil turned his head and looked over at Dan, a wide grin on his face.

"You have a dimple."

"What?"

"Your dimple. I've never seen it before. It's cute."

"Oh." Dan said, and there was definitely a blush on his cheeks now. Phil didn't comment on it, just letting his attention fall back to the TV. However, Phil let his hands drop so they were resting on top of Dan's crossed ankles, the touch seemingly to burn through Dan's jeans.

Dan didn't say anything about it, or about how there was something new added into the atmosphere between them—something he couldn't quite place.

Phil finally selected a track and a new game started. Dan flicked his eyes to the screen as the game started to count down from three. When the horn went off, he sided right up to Phil's kart and drove him into a wall, a brilliant plan of attack forming in his head. Phil tossed Dan a dirty look but Dan just stuck his tongue out. Whatever had popped up between them in that little exchange a few moments ago was gone, for now.

~~~~~

Phil tossed his controller onto the floor and crashed back into the back of the couch, an arm falling over his face.

"I give up. You win. You bloody win, Dan, there's no way anyone can beat you."

They had been playing Mario Kart for over two hours now, and Phil hadn't come close to winning once. In fact, the closest he had gotten was a whopping third. And in hindsight, with Dan harassing him as he was, getting third was a decent enough achievement.

"I'm glad it only took you a million games of me handing you your own arse for you to figure it out, Phil."

"Oh shut it," Phil said, pulling his arm down to smack Dan's leg. He was smiling though, so Dan knew that he wasn't as annoyed as he let on. Dan let his controller fall to the floor and shifted down further into the sofa, wiggling his toes on Phil's lap. Phil pretended to gag.

"I hate to break up our little Mario Kart marathon, but you promised me dinner and I think my stomach is literally going to digest itself."

"That sounds painful." Phil said. His hands were on Dan's ankles again, but this time Phil's thumb was unconsciously tracing little patterns on the skin that was exposed there.

"Mhm."

"Where should we order out from then? There's a Indian place not too far away, or maybe the Chinese one a few blocks away? Something else?"

"Phil," Dan whined, "I thought I was promised lobster remember?" Dan said, trying to bring back the playful atmosphere that it was a few moments ago. Now...now there was something more.

"Dan, there's a reason why I have two jobs. Maybe in like, ten years I can get you those lobsters."

Dan sighed as if in disappointment, and nodded. "How about some Indian then, if we must."

Phil rolled his eyes and once again curled his fingers around Dan's ankles, lifting them up just like before and sliding out from under Dan's legs, getting up.

"I'll call us in something, wait here."

After the food was ordered and Phil had returned, he had just shifted Dan's body once again so he could sit before letting Dan's feet fall onto the tops of his thighs. Dan was too nervous to move them.

Instead of playing more Mario Kart, however, they decided to turn on a movie while they were waiting for their food.

When it arrived, Phil hopped up before Dan could and paid, bringing the bags back and putting them on the table. Dan sat up eagerly, his stomach growling at the smells wafting from what Phil was spreading out in front of them. They dug in, sitting close enough for their thighs to brush together, the movie playing in the background. Dan didn't really care if he was missing parts though; it was an old Marvel film they had both seen countless times before.

Dan let out a little noise of content when he finished.

"You were right Phil, that was delicious. I want to marry the chef so they could cook like that for me every day."

Phil looked at him. His expression was unreadable, but his eyes were intense. It pinned Dan down and dissected him, took him apart and looked at all of his pieces.

And Dan was helpless to fight it. He couldn't look away if he tried.

"Yeah? Would you propose to him with a bagel?" He asked, the question nothing but a breath.

There it was again. That…that feeling between them. Dan recognized it now, for certain. His heart picked up a little, and he could feel the beginnings of sweat prickling on the back of his neck.

He remembered why he didn't date, why he didn't do anything other than platonic. He remembered the tears and the screaming and the pain, the damage he was still dealing with. He remembered, god did he remember, but he still couldn't stop the Phil Phil Phil in his head.

Dan licked his lips. He needed to get them away from this territory.

He needed to.

But.

Fuck.

He didn't want to.

"Maybe. Would that bother you?"

Dan's heart was in his stomach, yet it was still beating like crazy, sending his senses into overdrive. He didn't know what the hell he was doing, but he also didn't want to stop. And god, he couldn't stop looking into Phil's blue eyes, fuck.

Phil just stared, not saying a word. Dan was about to pull away, to give up whatever he seemed to be chasing. But Phil didn't give him the chance.

Something shifted in Phil's eyes, some kind of resolve forming right before Dan's gaze. Phil leaned forward and curled a hand around Dan's jaw.

"You tell me," he whispered and pressed forward. Dan met him halfway and he couldn't help how his eyelids fluttered closed when their mouths met. It was soft, questioning, with a clear open exit for Dan to run to if he wanted, but there was nothing unsure in how Phil kissed him; there was no doubt in the emotions Phil was pouring over Dan.

Dan would be lying if he said that the kiss shut up every voice in his head. If he claimed that this mind wasn't a shitshow, in a civil war with itself. If there wasn't a part of him that wanted to run.

But Dan was tired of running. He was exhausted and he hadn't known it, and yes, part of him was screaming that this was a bad idea, but fuck it he didn't care.

He wanted to be happy.

Phil pulled away a little, letting their mouths disentangle, but Dan just fisted a handful of Phil's shirt and brought him crashing back.

Phil groaned and nipped at Dan's bottom lip, flicking over it with his tongue. He was leaning heavily into Dan, the one hand that wasn't cupping Dan's face gently was locked beside Dan's body, holding Phil up. Dan, for his part, was angled back, and as their lips met over and over and over again it felt like Dan was just falling farther and farther back.

Dan brought his other hand to the back of Phil's head, and using the one buried in his shirt as well, Dan let his body fall, pulling Phil down with him. It wasn't as coordinated as he had imagined in his head, however, and their mouths broke apart. Dan was lying on his back, his legs angled awkwardly to the side of Phil's body, which was still somewhat posed overtop of Dan's. Phil laughed a little, but Dan didn't have the time to be embarrassed because Phil reached down and parted Dan's legs so they were on either side of Phil's body. Phil let his body blanket Dan's, bringing their faces impossibly close to each other.

"Is this okay?" Phil asked, his eyes so close, his mouth just out of reach.

Dan couldn't help but nod and reach out, pulling Phil in the rest of the way so they were kissing again. Phil let out a little sound that sounded a bit like a chuckle before turning his head and letting their mouths slot together better than before.

Dan had always liked kissing, but god, kissing Phil was a dream come true.

He didn't know how long they made out on Phil's scratchy couch, but Dan enjoyed every moment of it. He loved how Phil's fingers ran through his hair and curled around his waist, how Dan's own palm fit so well between Phil's shoulder blades, and how Phil's soft fringe brushed up against Dan's forehead.

Of course, things came to a crashing end.

Phil was kissing the life out of Dan, pressing him into the sofa with the weight of his own body, when he slipped a hand under Dan's shirt, his fingers burning into Dan's skin.

And then reality came crashing down onto Dan.

Dan gasped and both of his hands flew to Phil's chest, pushing him away. Dan rolled out from under Phil and consequently onto the floor.

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.

He knew this was a bad idea, he knew it.

All of the reasons why a relationship between them wouldn't work burst through his head like grenades. And really, it was just the same reason, repeated over and over in a mantra.

You're ace you're ace you're ace you're-

Dan sprang up from the floor and Phil was up from the couch in an instant, eyes wide and filled with fear and worry and concern.

"Oh my god Dan I'm so sorry! Fuck, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable or-"

It was cowardly, but Dan couldn't stand there. A panic attack more fierce than anything he had faced in a while was building up in him and he didn't want to be here when it hit. Fuck. fuck. He turned, nearly dashing for the door, stomping into his shoes at a lightning and inhuman speed. Phil had caught up with him, however, and before Dan could grasp the door handle, his hand grabbed Dan's sleeve.

"Dan please don't go oh my god I swear I didnt-"

"It's not going to work between us, Phil, I'm sorry," Dan said, not missing how breathless he sounded, how kissed-out Phil looked, "but it just won't okay? I can't love you like you need me to."

"Dan? Woah, slow down, I don't-"

"I'm can't, okay? Now please let go of me."

"But I-"

Dan didn't seem capable of letting Phil finish a single sentence because he was already opening his mouth to retally. But then again Dan didn't really care if he was being rude at the moment because his heart was about to beat out of his chest and the world was spinning and all of the bad thoughts were rushing around his head in a whirlwind, unable to be stopped. Dan was panicking.

"I'm asexual! I just can't, Phil!" he blurted, and just as the words passed from his mouth his heart stopped, as well as the rest of the world. Everything stopped. Phil's eyes went wide, and that was it, Dan was ripping his arm out of Phil's grip and ripping the door open, sprinting down the hallway and taking the stairs down from Phil's flat so fast he was sure he was going to trip and break his neck.

He could hear Phil running after him, trying to keep up, shouting for him to "Wait! Please!" but Dan wasn't listening. Dan wasn't listening.

Dan burst out of Phil's apartment complex and ran faster than he had ever before. His feet felt like they were barely skimming the ground and it was like he was being chased by Death itself, but he only ran faster, pushed himself harder. And he was crying, tears blurring his vision until he could barely see. He hiccuped on a sob, but Dan wasn't stopping to catch his breath.

He had to run.

From Phil.

From the situation.

From the kisses, the feeling, the giggles and smiles and joy.

From his inability to shut his mouth.

From himself.

He ran.

[drakengard]

1 thru 104 Ur welcome

why do u hate me

1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say?

id probably go back to bed tbh otherwise id just get up and put on clothes(it was hayden….)

2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed?

we’re dating B^)

3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care?

yea i would be really concerned and also probably uncomfortable depending on what was going on

4. Is your last name longer than six letters?

yep!

5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober?

sober!

6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up?

yea when i was like 16 i really liked this one girl but i was so pushy about it without even realizing it ;w;

7. What does your last received text say?

its just a

8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed?

ive lost track we’ve kissed a lot!

9. Where was your last kiss at?

at my boyfriends dorm when i dropped him off

10. When is the last time you saw your sister?

a month or two ago

11. What do you drink in the morning?

water or some kind of juice

12. Where did you sleep last night?

in my bed

13. Do you think relationships are hard?

yes they are a lot of work and that can make them hard but i think the best relationships are worth those hardships

14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you?

yeah i think there are some things i wish i would have done differently but its nothing major

15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems?

the only problem is that we’re locked in a room and im claustrophobic

16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy?

rainy

17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you?

no i dont think so!

18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants?

im in my underwear tbh…….

19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now?

i do think so yeah

20. Does anyone like you?

who knows…………..it is a mystery

21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S?

yep

22. Is the last person you kissed gay?

oh boy gay is an understatement

23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand?

honestly i dont think so anymore?

24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo?

yeah! i already have one

25. In the past week have you cried?

nope

26. What breed was the last dog you saw?

some kind of bulldog mix! he was so cute

27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower?

a little of both

28. Have you ever kissed a football player?

nope

29. Do you think you’re old?

not yet

30. Do you like text messaging?

i dont mind it but i always make typos so i get frustrated

31. What type of day are you having?

its alright i felt really sick earlier and i cant sleep

32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?

i had my septum pierced and ive thought about other nose piercings but i dont think id want them

33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather?

cold definitely

34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?

yes yes yes

35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling?

relationship

36. Are you a simple or complicated person?

i think im a lot more complicated than i let on 

37. What song are you listening to?

already answered!

38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it?

not always but if i apologize and give an explanation then i mean it (idk if that makes sense)39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you?

i dont think so40. What made you start liking the person you like now?

the first thing i ever noticed about him when i saw photos was his smile but when i met him it was absolutely everything41. When did you last receive a text message?

a few hours ago42. What is wrong with you right now?

LORD…..43. How well do you know the last female you texted?

relatively!44. Does anyone disgust you?

yes45. Would you date someone right now if they asked?

no46. Are you in a good mood right now?

im in a……..mediocre mood47. Who was the last person you talked to in person?

my coworkers!!48. What color shirt are you wearing?

white it has a picture of a dog on it49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear?

yeah50. Anyone you’re giving up on?

no51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for?

no im with the person i fell hardest for

52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t?

yeah in the past i used to think about giving up on a lot of people but im glad i didnt and i let  myself grow from those experiences53. Do you like rain?

i love rain54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks?

i dont really mind as long as they are safe55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them?

yep56. Do you like to cuddle?YES god im weak

57. Are you shy?

not with people i know well and when im at my Job™ but like…if im by myself in new situations i do not like to talk58. Do you get along with girls?

depends on the girl!59. Have you dated the person you texted last?

yes we are currently dating60. What do you carry with you at all times?

phone, wallet, and normally chapstick61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you?id do that shit for free

62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months?

i have so yes63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship?

yep!64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute?

god yes i…..am so weak for affection in the simplest forms65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week?

already answered!

66. How old are the last three people you kissed?

20, 19, 20

67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself?   

nah id want to try and fail miserably 68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print?    

zebra print but i dont really like either69. Do you have any stickers on your car?    

i do i have a captain scarlet sticker via my boyfriend70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne?  

lil wayne……….lmao  71. Blackberry, Anroid, or iPhone?    

android72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut?    

not since forever ago i think since i worked there when i was 16 73. Do you like diet soda?    

not really74. What color are the walls in your room?    

white75. Are you 16 or older?    

yep!76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars?    

nope77. Do you have a job?    

yes yes  78. What are your initials?  

JLH  79. Did you ever have braces?   

yes for like a year and a half it was a Time 80. Are you from the south?    

i was born in north carolina B^)

81. What does your last status on facebook say?  

“someone get married and invite me i really want to go to a wedding they seem so fun”

82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed?  

uh very sporadically but sometimes  83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad?    

my mom84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics? 

nah85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters?  

  oh god it was some action movie i cant remember the name of 86. Do you smoke?    

…………when im on fire (badumtss)87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops?

heels bc i hate the noise flip flops make    88. Is your phone touch screen?    

yeah89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly?   

straight sometimes i curl it up  90. Have you ever snuck out of your house?    

nope91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool?

pool probably     92. Have you ever made out in a car?    

nope93. …Had sex in a car?    

……………………………………………sweats94. Are you single or in a relationship?  

in a relationship!  95. What were you doing last night at midnight? 

i was at the grocery store   96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks?    

a few years ago97. Do you like the camera on your phone?  

its pretty good yeah!  98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits?  

nope nope  99. Have you ever passed out from drinking?   

also no 100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate?   

not that i hate but people that i dislike yeah 101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare?    

no but when my mom got pregnant with my sister and told me i think i went into cardiac arrest102. Name your favorite Kesha song:   

its tik tok im no fool 103. Do you have any tan lines right now?

maybe i will the day my wonder bread ass goes outside………..    104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts?   

already answered but NO