#im a hoe for johnny

[sparrow-eats-kats]

why the fuck did we send johnny why the fuck why the fuck what the fuck what the FUCK WHAT THE FUCK

[gottagofastpietro]

"Oh, I think you even enjoy it," Pietro drawled, inhaling deeply. Still drinking Johnny in with his eyes, thriving on the electric sparks where their hands touched. "It is your fault, and you're the worst, and I -- Oh I love it." He bit down on his lip, hard, as Johnny's lips brushed against his skin, their eyes locking onto each other. "If you keep doing this to me, I'm going to either launch myself over this table at you, or speed you off to a courthouse. Maybe both." He leaned forward on the table and used their entwined hands to tug Johnny towards him. His free hand coming to his chin to pull him in for a kiss. "What would you do if I did, hmm?"

j-stcrm

“Baby, being a perfect gentleman isn’t your thing. Not that I mind,” he remarked with a smirk, his laughter following Pietro’s accusation. “It’s not my fault you do whatever I want when I give you that look.” Johnny continued moving his finger along the top of Pietro’s; the motion almost unconscious until Pietro pointed it out. Johnny’s attention shifted to their entwined fingers, shrugging. Lifting their hands, he leaned in to kiss the back of Pietro’s, locking eyes as he did so. With a teasing expression, Johnny said, “Yeah, I guess that rings a bell. I can’t really remember.”

[clarity2electricboogaloo]

Outsiders shit. Some modern some not idfk

These are all like. The most crack-filled hcs ever, please excuse my brain 🙏🏽🙏🏽 if these don’t make sense to you, tell me

- dally is so headstrong that the moment someone bets he can’t do something, he does it

- the gang takes advantage of this

- (this is a method I use on my younger siblings 😭😭)

- dally can walk in heels

- also two bit. Like scarily well. His sister is amazed.

- pony calls people whore

- Johnny calls people thot

- they say these to each other on a regular basis.

- also hoe

- uhhh where was I

- something something gay something something 70s 80s smth pony and Johnny because Johnny never died frfr no cap

- Johnny: “I can’t believe yall vape smh”

- also Johnny: *pulls out a cigarette for each hand*

- pony does the same thing

- twobit and Marcia are either gay-lesbian solidarity or they’re dating, no in between

- if they’re gay, they’re a beard couple just like “we pretend to date, they can’t catch on” “I like the way you think, woman”

- ily twobit matthews. That’s all.

- twobit and Marcia are actually both Hispanic, its canon trust I was there

- dally types “women ☕️” in instagram comment sections

- also “it’s bc I’m a man isn’t it”

- (ty V on discord for that second one 🙏🏽🙏🏽)

- cherry and dally argue on twitter

- a lot

- dally spams cherry and then she absolutely COOKS this pathetic rat man

- dally blocks cherry, doesn’t talk to her for a while, then eventually forgets and unblocks her to harass the poor girl again

- cherry doesn’t realize blocking is a thing, but she complains to marcia and marcia shows her how to block Dallas

- dally, two bit, and Steve are all hopelessly addicted to twitter

- like it’s really fucking bad

- someone get these mfs off the internet

- dally therapy

- now

- right fucking now

- cherry valance and ponyboy bisexual man/bisexual woman solidarity

- they are besties

- nothing more nothing less

- change my mind

- (you cant)

- marcia “good luck babe” by Chappell roan

- pony autism

- Johnny audhd

- Darry autism

- soda audhd or just adhd

- I saw someone say dally ocd once and I like it so

- dally ocd

- twobit adhd

- Steve adhd

- everyone trauma :D

- when johnny actually lived after the fire bc thats what actually happened actually fr, he left his parents because he realized they didn’t love him (pulling from the “I don’t wanna see her” scene for this)

- he stays with the curtis boys most of if not all the time

- if soda and Darry are gone, pony will grab Johnny and they’ll sleep together

- not in a weird way you freaks

- pony just genuinely cannot sleep

- I may or may not be influenced by fics I’ve read…

- soda saw them one night when he got home late and was like “…queers?”

- he stays out a bit later than usual now, often found sleeping in another room

- Darry actually supports more than pony thought, when he comes out, Darry is like a pride parade mom frfr

- kinda lowkey overbearing with it

- ily Darrel curtis

- soda is the typa guy to genuinely not understand lgbtq+ but supports anyways

- sodas the typa guy to be asked what his pronouns are and say “just he/him. Wish I had smth more interesting, but I’m just a guy :D”

- on the other end of that, soda and Steve are gay

- everyone is gay

- all of them

- so very fucking gay

Im done yapping for now, im so sorry for anyone that sees this

[eatmyassssssssz]

Bestie

Bestie

Bestie

How do you think the 141 boys + könig dicks look like? And how big and thick they are. Please please please

Asking for a friend

No I'm not I'm asking for me cause I'm a hoe

lilsy poopoo face. of course i will do this for you. SO.

onto the lads.

okay, so, warning for all you anons out there that keep on telling me i should die for writing smut.

warnings: peni (plural for penis'), detail, a lot of it.

SIMON. 'ghost'. RILEY.

🏷🏷🏷🏷🏷🏷🏷🏷🏷🏷🏷🏷

🍁 show-er or grower?

i believe good ol si is a grower. every single inch is used to it full potential though, don't you worry...

🍂cut or uncut?

uncut but would prefer to be cut but obviously is too late for that.

🌺 girth

the normal amount. i mean, the average is about 4.6cm in the uk, i think si has about 5.2cm. a little over but not by a stupid amount.

🌷 width

i honestly don't think hes packing as much as a horse as people say! i mean, it just don't make sense for this guy to be shclingin round a 12 incher like yall are sayin. i think its more 6.3 inches. the average is 5.7 (ish) so hes still packin more than average! thats when hes fully hard, his flaccid is about 4.7 inches.

🏷 extras:

i feel like hes had a piercing down there at least at one time. up to you if you want him still to have it, but i think he had, at one time, a jacobs ladder.

JOHNNY 'SOAP' MACTAVISH

🧼🧼🧼🧼🧼🧼🧼🧼🧼🧼🧼🧼

🍁 show-er or grower?

show-er. i just..hes definitely a show-er, no one can change my mind.

🍂 cut or uncut?

cut. no doubt about it.

🌺 girth

normal girth, I'd say. about 4.6 inches. nothing special doesn't mean hes not special in bed.

🌷 width

now..i widly disagree with yall saying that soap's average. i think he's packing quite a bit. 7.3 inches.

🧼 extras:

he cums a LOT. like, a weird amount.

JOHN PRICE

🚬🎀🚬🎀🚬🎀🚬🎀🚬🎀🚬🎀

🍁 shower or grower?

grower. most. fucking. definitely.

🍂 uncut or cut?

people may disagree with me on this, but i think uncut. he vastly prefers it that way as well.

🌺 girth

HOLY FUCK HES A PUSSY STRETCHER. like, worryingly thick dick disorder. 5.9 inches.

🌷 width

nothing outside the norm, particularly. i mean, its just unfair to be very thick AND long...anyways, i dont care, price is shlingin it. 5.9 at least. 4.5 flaccid.

💰 extras: his cum is STICKY. very sticky.

KYLE 'GAZ' GARRICK

🚁🚁🚁🚁🚁🚁🚁🚁🚁🚁🚁🚁

im sorry i had to use the helicopters..

🍁 show-er or grower?

middle area. right inbetween.

🍂 uncut or cut?

cut. doesnt really like it though. much would prefer to be uncut but oh well, he works with it.

🌺 girth

not overtly girthy. 4.3. he makes up for it with his technique, ect.

🌷 width

hmmm a straight sixer. 6.0 inches. the perfect amount.

🚁 extras:

he had a happy trail but shaved it when he got with you. hes slowly growing it back as you begged and begged.

KÖNIG

👕👕👕👕👕👕👕👕👕👕👕👕

his eyes are so pretty.

🍁 grow-er or shower?

hes just generally big.

🍂 cut or uncut?

i think uncut.

🌺 girth

hes a big lad, everythings a bit bigger. 5.7.

🌷 width

again, because he's 6'10, everythings a bit sized up. 6.8 inches!!

tags:

@lillianastuff @lucyisdoingfine @madamemelancholysstuff @mionacaped @a-small-writer-in-a-big-world @ashiscool10 @vangoghcoffeeco @southernbluebellereader

[billkaulitzwife]

The Outsiders Coping With a Breakup

(ps guys im not over it leave me alone(i also watched the notebook and i hate myself))

Ponyboy

Reading or writing.

How could you ever hurt this little freshman boy he‘s such a sweetheart

He would probably silently cry into a pillow until he thought his lungs were about to collapse or cave in

if this was now … he‘d chain smoke and listen to lana del rey while looking out a moonlit window

he definitely listens to Elvis to get over it.

I don’t know what exactly he would read to get over it but probably some sad ass Edgar Allan Poe. Annabelle Lee lookin ass.

He‘d write the most heart breaking

tear dripping

heavy breathing sad poetry ever.

show him a romance novel.

he’d never stop reading them until he got over it.

just the bare thought of it drives him nuts.

so he reads.

Johnny

if you hurt this man he would probably hurt himself.

he would dream bout it and wake up in cold sweats, tears running down his face.

in all honesty

i think he‘d be artistic with it

he’d somehow turn each and every single tiny thought into something about you

whether it be thinking about a teddy bear then contorting it into nothing but an image of you and him.

he would never be able to look at the places you went together the same.

he would be an artist.

hand him a pencil and he’ll make your heart break and ache.

might etch and sketch on himself to see if you still care.

ps you obviously do.

Dallas

Doesn’t know how.

All this man does is sleep, drink, fuck, repeat.

being honest this manwhore is probably gonna screw every hoe in Tulsa to try and get his mind off of it,

but every path leads back to what he knows best.

he would smoke more,

party more,

drink away all his problems, etc before facing a problem head on.

people may see him as this

uhh

violent gang member hoodlum kid guy man

but deep down hes really just a kid who wishes he couldve given his momma one more hug

a kid that needed to be loved.

a kid that was never taught how to be loved.

Adelaide

crier.

she’s a big ol’ crier, but it doesnt matter since thats not the only way she copes.

she loves to paint and puts every emotion into her paintings.

she may’ve become a kleptomaniac since she needs the supplies.

the curtis boys would

PERSONALLY

kill you if anything happened to her

one heartbreak and shes done for

love? whats that? it isnt real?

dont hurt her no matter what.

she would also turn to cigarettessss (as if she doesnt smoke enough).

adelaide would develop stage five lung cancer before even admitting that love could in the slightest exist anymore.

Sodapop

working.

soda seems like the kinda guy to go through a breakup and cry a lot

but the only thing that really helped was work.

he’d probably get a raise

yk with how hard and how much he’d be working to get over it.

his siblings would warn him about not overworkimg himself

and guess what.

he didnt listen and got really sick from all the stress.

i know for a fact he would keep away from cigarettes even if someone said they help and he believed it

he would only ever listen to the radio

hoping and praying that when he’d hear a love song he‘d hear your voice

Darrell

probably the most sane of everybody while dealing with his bs

he wld obviously be heart broken

but not to the point he needed some insane coping mechanism.

he would probably meditate.

i mean this is the sixties cmon he’s either gonna do wxxd

or meditate.

as soon as a thought of you came up and his mind started to panic he would sit on the couch and

well.

relax.

he probably has the healthiest coping mechanism he’s definitely got his life together

the others are jealous as fuuuuck

Steve

bro wouldnt eat.

every time he thought about the breakup

he thought it was because he was strong enough

or that he was too chubby for his girl.

one time he passed out while on the way to work and the gang freaked out so bad

they couldnt take him to the hospital so they carried him home and stuck a juice box in his mouth

eventually his ass woke up and they all cheered like the war had just ended “HIP HOORAY!”

but then in all seriousness

he needed to get his weight back up so the curtis kids make him eat at their house

even if he says he ate.

theres always snacks for him laying around thay house from then on out

Two-Bit

drinking.

do i have to explain.

in the novel pony said two-bit was famous for shoplifting and his black-handled switchblade…

but for some reason i know he wouldnt shoplift any more.

(he sure did teach adelaide how to tho)

along with his love for “shopping” you gotta remember he’s a heavy alcoholic

he’d drink away all of his problems and thoughts until he blacked out.

his buddies would think its just your average keith

but in all reality he’s really struggling

even though he seems like the usual drunk happy joking guy

HE IS HURTTT.

okay thanks for watching todays vlog

if u ever need to vent please dont be scared to message me bruv im sure Ik how to help.

[the-cager]

Sigh. Whatever...

It has come to my attention this community—who I thought were my FRIENDS—is not a safe space for people like me who fantasize of having an enemies to lovers arc with their own evil clone.

[hearts4golbach]

The Night Shift.

Chapter 4.

Johnnie Guilbert x Fem!Reader.

Me and Jake tripped over each other and other people while trying to make our way towards the drinks. This place was crowded, as if whoever the fuck was running this invited the entire city. Which was dumb, because an entire city cannot fit into one small house.

"God, I love whiskey." Jake mumbled under his breath while pouring a cup for himself.

I shoved him out of the way, hurrying to get my own cup

"Wow, look at you go, you damn alcoholic."

"shut the fuck up." I leaned against the counter, turning to face johnnie. He stood awkwardly in the corner, looking around at all the people surrounding him. it was adorable. "you okay, johnnie?"

"oh, yeah, I'm good." he smiled.

"you're not drinking with us?" Jake sipped his wiskey.

"someone needs to drive home and take care of the drunks." he shrugged.

I walked over to stand next to him. "do you like drinking?"

"I mean, sometimes. I don't know, I used to drink constantly. it kind of became a problem." he glanced away, avoiding eye contact.

"oh, I'm sorry you had to go through that. addictions a bitch ass hoe."

he looked back, his gaze softening. "yeah, it is."

"I was addicted to a couple different drugs throughout highschool." I admitted, looking down into the cup and swirling it around. "honestly, I'm still kind of recovering. the urges never go away, though."

"felt that. im sorry you went through that too." he gave me a sad smile.

"whatever," I downed the last of the whiskey in my cup and went to pour more. "who gives a fuck right now? let's have fun. we can talk about it later." I smiled.

he smiled back. "yeah, fuck that." I gently patted his arm.

"will you two stop flirting, oh my fuck." Jake groaned, walking off into the crowd. we followed closely behind him. 

"How were we even -" I cut myself off. "Actually, I don't even wanna know what you consider flirting."

he widened his eyes. "Yeah. I'm sure."

we all sat on the couch, which was surprisingly empty. although, there were a few questionable stains. johnnie sat in the middle while me and Jake were on either side of him. "what the fuck do people even do at parties?" I asked, throwing up my hands.

"drink, smoke, dance.." Johnnie trailed off.

"fuck." Jake added.

"so, this really isn't all that. no one's fucking dancing." I glanced around.

"that shits going down in a different room, don't worry your pretty little head." Jake wagged his finger at me.

"okay, then let's go!" I grabbed Johnnie's arm and pulled him off the couch. "lead the way, jakey."

we walked back through the kitchen, giving me a chance to fill up my cup once more. I started feeling loopy. I wrapped my arm around Johnnie's for support so I didn't fall and die. I could tell Jake was feeling it, too.

"awe!" he squeeled.

"shut the fuck up!" me and johnnie replied in unison.

we made our way to whatever room Jake had mentioned, my steps getting progressively sloppier.

"okay, ill admit, I have no clue how to dance." I giggled in Johnnie's ear.

"that's fine, just go with how."

a stupid smile grew on me face. "how the fuck do you just 'go with it?'" I slurred.

"take my hands and just.. let loose, I guess." I furrowed my eyebrows and took his hands cautiously. "close your eyes, it helps."

I did as told. "I feel stupid."

"everyone does."

I sighed. "I guess your right."

"it's okay, y/n. you don't have to be so uptight all the time. especially not around me."

I rested the muscles in my face and smiled. "okay."

a different song started playing. I didn't know it. "just go with it." Johnnie repeated.

I began to loosely move my body, feeling Johnnie's hands moving along with mine. I got more into it, letting the alcohol take over. I opened one eye, making eye contact with Johnnie. "Hey! I thought you were doing it too, silly!"

He laughed, the same look filled his eyes just as it did in the car.

"whaaat? why do you keep looking at me like that?" I begged him.

"no reason." he replied, closing his eyes and beggining to dance. he never let go of my hands.

Johnnie spun us around, making me feel dizzy. my head tingled, making me cackle. we opened our eyes at the same time. we looked around for Jake as we continued to dance with goofy smiles on our face. I caught Jake dancing near us with his phone pointed at us.

"okay, creep!"

"mama bear needs content for her facebook." he pursed his lips together as he spoke in his southern drawl.

"oh, whatever, man." Johnnie replied.

"can I stay over tonight?" I asked cautiously, slurring my words.

"I think that's a good idea. I think you're too drunk to go home."

I felt like I was scrounging for reasons to see johnnie longer.

I ended the night with finishing my fourth cup. I was drunk out of my mind. I hadn't had enough time to drink recently because of my new work schedule. it felt like I was floating, but it was different this time, because I was floating with johnnie.

[shotmrmiller]

that fattest meat anon ask -

soap can plug my pussy ANYDAY, ANYWAY, ANYHOW, ANYTIME

(im a pretty thirsty ass hoe and even I was like...ok reign it in...just gonna yell it anon into toninbox instead)

johnny has a cork for a cock confirmed 👍🏽

[sturnad]

𝐖𝐄𝐋𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐄

About me: Im a thirteen year old student in primary school. Im probably the loudest and weirdest person in my town. I love to write and i do ice skating. + do not judge my writings im just getting started so be nice hoes.

Music taste: Drake, Yeat, Kanye West, Frank Ocean, Chase Atlantic, Lil Peep, Lil Wayne, Arctic Monkeys, The Neighbourhood, The weeknd, Billie Eillish, Melanie Martinez, Madison Beer, Lana Del Rey, SZA, Cigarettes after sex, TV girl, Cardi B, Nicki Minaj, Eminem, 2pac, Lil skies, 50cent, NLE CHOPPA, Lil Tecca...

Favorite song: meddle about by Chase Atlantic

Movies/series: shameless, young sheldon, white chicks, anyone but you, too hot to handle, norbit, matilda, twilight, never have i ever, gossip girl, gilmore girls, ginny and georgia, outer banks, mean girls, xo kitty, stranger things, you, insatiable, dahmer, how to ruin christmas, lucifer,...

My fav movie is probably white chicks but series/tv show is def shameless, hands down.

Fav youtubers: the triplets ofc, beta squad, jake & johnnie, tara yummy, larray, sidemen, amp..

Fav food: pasta, ceasar salad, pomegranate...

bmf?

I will write: smut, fluff, angst, ill write smut only for Matt and Chris. If i get any requests i can also write snaps you would get from Nick/Matt/Chris...Go wild with the requests, you wont be judged here.

I will not write: pregnancy, threesomes (if not requested), incest, sa, Nick with a female partner..

If you do not like to read anything that contains sexual activity just keep scrolling past anything marked with ♣.

I am new here so i dont get around so well but im trying my best.

+ plus i do not get around with hard words so please dont come for me-- (English is not my first language, im from Slovenia..)

Just some rules and all so everyone is on the same page:

•dont steal fics, stories, snaps..

•if you dont like the fact that im a 13 year old writing smut scroll and argue with the wall.

•if you dont like the fic itself just do not read it. simple as that.

•dont leave hate

•and have fun..

•Requests are open. And also feel free to ask or say anything...

LOVE YOU ALL GUYS AND I HOPE YOU WILL BE ENJOYING THE FUTURE FICS AND STORIES..

[its-420-s0mewhere]

oops! never made a pinned post!

hi i’m eevee, im 27, live in colorado and really like weed

if you want to read the cannabis education substack i run, you can check it out at seshchats.substack.com

i’m not going to add a list of -isms and -phobias to my dni list bc frankly anyone who engages in those on the reg isn’t gonna give a fuck. this is your blanket don’t-be-a-dick statement.

green—would love to be moots

yellow—might not follow back but it’s all good

red—leave me alone !!

~

stoners, bg3 fans, non-men who play valorant, non-men film nerds, sanri-hoes, TTI survivors, wilderness therapy survivors, late dx autistic non-men (all ages 23+)

anyone 21-23, vent blogs (with proper tagging!!), kink blogs (without graphic SA/CNC posts), hard drug content

under 21, posting graphic SA/CNC content, not tagging SH/ED posts, pro-ED, age play enjoyers/defenders, johnny depp defenders, TERFs (i’m a marxist feminist, not a radfem)

[ilwonuu]

hi guys.. this is another call for requests!!! i have a lot of requests (working on them) but i have people i still haven’t gotten requests for soonyoung, seungcheol, chan, hongjoong, mingi, jongho, wooyoung, kun, ten, hendery, taeil, johnny, doyoung, chenle, hyunjin, seungmin.

i ALSO want to start writing for p1harmony & riize??? so if you have anything for them feel free to send it in!!!

i want to fulfill as many requests as i can because 400 followers is a lot of people. 400 that like my writing???

okok im ranting now but please send in your thoughts lol!! happy hoeing😘

[justalildumpling]

can you describe ur relationship with ur moots using different kpop idol ship dynamics?

(hopefully that makes sense!!😣)

wait i actually love this prompt HELLO??? also, i only chose the mutuals i talk to on a regular basis and feel like i know well enough for this so im so sorry if i didn't mention you😭

@sungbeam ⎯ nct mark & haechan (aka soulmates)

if we haven’t advertised about this enough already, beam and i are certified soulmates like😐 like mahyuck we literally tease each other about our side hoes (*COUGH ch*ngm*n) but we will never hesitate tell each other how much we mean to each other. idk if mark had ever exclusively mentioned this about haechan but i truly believe beam and i were cosmic coincidences (soulmates) like i feel at home with her, she is my safe space

@polarisjisung ⎯ nct mark & yuta (24/7 flirting)

idek how to tell y’all, its literally playful flirts back and forth😭 and like yuta, hua wins most of the time…. literally bf who? but literally i would say our friendship is so wholesome tho, like if we were to meet irl i can imagine us like that one yuta and mark date at the restaurant

@wuahae ⎯ tbz sunwoo & changmin (menaces to society)

it just works. if u guys see our messages to each other it’s literally keyboard smashes and screaming about some random topic😭 we both take turns insulting each other tbh but 🥰lovingly🥰 but also like.... i don't think we can mentally and emotionally go without talking to each other everyday like idk what to tell u we literally are stuck together. ok but jokes aside, i feel like sunwoo clicked with changmin really well and have a deep trust in him just like i feel towards cat

@jaeminvore ⎯ nct haechan & johnny (the enablers)

we’re like… enablers of the inner chaos of each other. literally i could have the most feral thought and nics would be the first to be like yes😁👍👍 just like johnny constantly defending haechan HAHAHHAH

@winterchimez ⎯ tbz jacob & sunwoo (gentle mother with her chaotic ass child)

can i just say how much i adore ally like😭 she is so big sister energy but also like mother energy at the same time!! i feel like with jacob and sunwoo, ally is both very concerned.... towards my chaotic ass irl actions but also like entertained at the same time OAFOEF LOOK- she is my mum (in the non weirdest way possible) period.

@zzoguri ⎯ tba sunwoo & new (tom and jerry)

admittedly... i like teasing moni. why? well,,,, i love them that's why😁 ok. but, like chanhee and sunwoo's relationship i feel like our relationship is the perfect balance of very fun but also very deep at the same time. like we could literally be swearing at each other when playing game pigeon💀 but then could be venting about personal things the next second. i feel like sunwoo can really rely on chanhee for advice or hardships which reminded me of moni💗

@from-izzy ⎯ tbz sunwoo & eric (sibling energy)

i contemplated putting jaemin and jeno down but i feel like izzy and i give off more sibling energy then old married couple JBEWOFOWF i always have fun talking to izzy on vc like i miss her presence if we haven't spoken in a while even tho we might not outright say it

@invuwrld ⎯ tbz younghoon & new (the biggest cheerleaders)

can i just say mona is literally the biggest hypewoman? like. post a pic on deoboyznet and i can bet ur ass mona will be the first one to reply and it will literally make my day LIKE HEAISNPI?!?!?! and i would literally not hesitate to do the same for her. hoon and chanhee seem to hype each other up all the time and their interactions were always so cute to me just like ours hehe

@jaehunnyy ⎯ riize shotaro & sungchan (pair of besties)

IF CHIP ISNT THE IRL VER OF SHOTARO IDK WHO IS because girl. she is literally the sweetest human being ever and just like shotaro, she took me into her arms the day we met and i have never left since

@mosviqu ⎯ svt hoshi & shinee taemin

i always looked up to bar when it came to writing and still do, like i have such high respect for her and still fangirling that we're moots OIUBQOEUFBOW but like hoshi and taemin, i would like to say that we're getting closer hehe

bonus:

@/wuahae @/zzoguri ⎯ tbz new, q & sunwoo

istg there's just chaos when we're together like idek what to tell you. HEAVY EMPHASIS on when we play crazy 8 SKSJSJSJSJ like last time, cat and i literally ganged up on moni😭 like we all love each other but we will literally bicker all the time OIHFOIGHWE (not to mention the fact that we genuinely have attachment issues.......) LITERALLY SOULMATES!!!! (the pattern confirmed everyone)

[boycritter]

okay like eenie meenie minie moe catch a thotty by the toe if she bad im jumpin in that pussy like geronimo woo! bitch! gotcha nose, lucky charm, pot of gold, if its time to go then vamonos! she catch me riding in a honda, i just popped a tire, missed my dinner with obama! every single night im rockin polo in my pajamas, i just did some lines with the fuckin dalai lama! comma comma comma ! oh oh oh, spend the bag make it back baby oh oh ohh, ring got rubies like im max baby oh oh ohh, johnny cash, how i act baby, oh oh ohhhh, it aint over till the fat lady oh oh ohh!! yeah yeah okay like peter piper picked this pack of pressure that im smoking up! mama told me i would make a mil and marry oprah! leave her for a bitch that looks like she could suck the ocean up! woo, open up, not my type but close enough. woo! my level hit max, sit back and relax im living like castaways! unbutton my pants and get a lap dance from young anne hathaway! dont wanna do this dont wanna do that somebody go ask the maid! and every day they catch me riding in a honda, i just popped a tire, missed my dinner with obama! every single night im rockin polo in my pajamas, i just did some lines with the fuckin dalai lama! comma comma comma ! oh oh oh, spend the bag make it back baby oh oh ohh, ring got rubies like im max baby oh oh ohh, johnny cash, how i act baby, oh oh ohhhh, it aint over till the fat lady oh oh ohh!! ooh ooh ohh, on my tippy toes, looking for big titty hoes, ooh ooh ooh, shotgun willy go adios and finito, thats the one, woo!

[storiesofsvu]

happy thursday hoes. time for some law and some order

Well fuck…what an opening..

“but there are definitely still traces of blood” girl… that hammer is COATED wtf…

I would like to point out that the way Kate runs her squad is the legit way that squads run. The CO (whether it be captain, lieutenant or sarge) is gonna stay in the office, they’re piled up with paperwork, the brass, putting out fires, they’re not out in the field…. Like svu. Ugh. I’m already not prepared for svu tonight, I’ve been watching through velasco’s eps and his older seasons were so good, esp compared to this year…

So we’re really doing this Ukraine surrogate/adoption plot line again, hey?

(I mean it is slightly different so far but like, it’s the same idea, right lol)

Samantha crushing it in the wardrobe dept as per usual

I like this new DA so much more than mccoy. Sorry not sorry.

I haven’t been paying too much attention to what’s going on (surprise) BUT, wtf does this case have to do with the grand jury that was taking place at the beg of the ep? With the girl all “he doesn’t know I’m here, right?” like, that girl was the murder vic? Or am I on crack? What is the connection?!

Uugggh… saaaammm my baby just needs a HUUUGGG

Okay, im actively not watching Toronto, see ya in an hour for svu.

Starting off with some personal, at home comfort. This is what we’ve been asking for forever (now give us rollisi at home pls).

OHHH GOD WHY ARE WE ALREADY BACK TO THE MADDIE SHIT FFS.

“I googled you”

Oh booooyyy are we in for it now. HOW MUCH DOES NOAH KNOW?! CAUSE LORD KNOWS HE PROBABLY FELL DOWN A PIT OF NEWS ARTICLES.

NO

WHY

WE DO NOT NEED TO BRING WL BACK TO THIS SHIT LET US HAVE SOME PEACE PLS.

Okay so we finally did get noah discovering where he came from. Woof.

Olivia kinda sucks at parenting sometimes. Like… he’s a kid, he’s an *adopted* kid who already knows about gramma Sheila and ellie… he’s gonna be curious, he’s gonna wonder, also what kid HASN’T snooped through their parents private things? Like yeah it’s not ideal… it’d be best for him to ask you a question and you slowly reveal into things or whatever but we all know she just would’ve shut him down right away anyways.

Lowkey love those heart lights in noahs room, ngl.

I’m not gonna lie. If it was olivia I’d be more concerned about him knowing/reading about William lewis and all the shit that went down than finding out johnny d was his dad…

You know what I think? I think this would be a great time to call you bestie amanda and have her over for a bottle of wine while you talk this through and see what jessie knows about her dad/how amanda’s gonna approach that. Also like, does billie just think sonny’s her dad or does she know? LOL. But will that happen? Obviously not.

Okay you know what, carisi is the second best bet so I’ll take this.

Olivia really needs to catch a fucking break

Carisi you sit like a whore. But we already knew that.

Is there not a way to trace this call? Or like, I know the phone is about to die but like…find my iphone even works on dead phones…use the stepmoms phone rn to find out where she is. Easy fix. Use your brains.

Man… parents on these shows are always so fucking trusting of their kids and they think they know everything about them. Like...what world are we living in?

Awweeee lil carisi back in cop mode!

Girl… you barely looked in that one, that’s not clear

Me: where do I know this actor playing the step mom from?

Checks imbd: ah. She’s been on svu as a diff character before. Of course.

We love a good parent who immediately offers up all their money to pay ransom of their kids bff with no question.

I swear to god it wasn’t raining 5 seconds ago.. I get that these are likely filmed on diff days but that really came outta nowhere

Olivia’s drenched and velasco’s barely wet… wtf lol

Oh god she’s really about to go feral isn’t she?  Like, even velasco’s nervous af.

That’s exactly what I knew he was gonna say. Like, liv should’ve just said she was dead.

Okay what about the other three perps? Where are they?

JESUS FUCK. Velasco… be mean to me. yell at me.. degrade me. jfc.

Okay I love that when she told Velasco to put the perp in her car he was all “uh… that a good idea boss?” kinda unsure thing but as soon as she started going feral he was just all “yup. Okay. I know how to do this.” And was totally on board. That’s my boi

“youre lucky im not in IAB anymore” damn right bitch.

That’s a cozy ass looking sweater liv has on and I want it

He already knows about ellie…why are we starting there?

I can’t wait until this conversation sparks a “hey… can we go see grama Sheila? Is she still sick?” and liv THEN has to explain that gramma Sheila is in fact in JAIL because she kidnapped him

Okay… that episode was honestly really good. It was a nice balance of the at home/personal lives and the case.

OC time.

Pls god have a last time on cause I do not remember what was happening… baby bro joe was doing heroine? That’s all I remember

Is this his apartment or elliots apt? it looks similar but also I like it better lol.

Bernie is a blessing to this show.

Elliot all “an intervention?” as if they didn’t host one for him like two years ago?

Also I JUST watched the ep with Muncy’s brother this week and that actor is baby boy joe stabler so this is throwing me off.

Is this an apt or a hotel? CAUSE ITS GORGEOUS!! HOW TF ARE THESE STABLER MEN AFFORDING THIS SHIT IN NYC?!

 “we don’t do that…” jet. Another fucking legend on this show

SO glad Bell’s back.

Clearly im not paying attention to this ep in case anyone’s wondering (and yes, it is because it’s a stabler ep…)

Leave it to stabler to be there less than 5 mins before beating someone

OH MY GODDDDD BELL LOOKS SO FUCKING GOOD IN THAT BLUE SHIRT

Thank god bell had bobby with her cause homegirl had a cane last week, there’d be no way she should be on a foot chase rn. Lol

Omg jet and bobby UC yet AGAIN. I fucking love it.

Jet being absolutely the person that likely annoys the hell outta her, love that. 

[lisired]

when shit hits the fan in i thought you were dead i immediately thought of something similar but i wasn't even sure if it's kpop fanfic. i was trying so hard to remember and i thought oh yea it was yuta fic as well, so i just assumed it was one of the yuta fan acc that i followed. but i immediately found out that it was yours venomous lmao. so i was like riight no wonder the scene felt really similar. anyway i love it when u write yuta fics. i also would forever mourn that johnny yuta part 2 of monster (if i'm not mistaken) on ur other acc 🥀😔

also i like this foreplay concept u seem to have. i remember smth about foreplay on johnny's fic, and u wrote half of their foreplay isn't even physical, it's just talking and listening and i was like awwww when he's so pussy-whipped he gets hard with literally anything 🥺 now the foreplay is fighting bc yess angry sex!! and when it's yuta i- well i'd like him to be mad at me

i'll be here (patiently) waiting for haechan's fic ma'am

mentioning 3 of my fics in the same ask… you love me don’t you.

JK but you actually have no idea how this made me feel like my heart omgggg 🥹💖💖💖💖💖 so so sooooo glad you enjoy my fics!!!!!!! as for the foreplay stuff OMG #RealFreaks know that foreplay doesn’t always have to be physical or inherently sexual. i mean, yes, it can be, and it’s amazing when it is, but an intellectual aquarius moon/mercury individual like myself with air sign tendencies likes to talk. like bae you so beautiful just hearing your voice makes me wet. it’s so nice when you like someone so much that you just wanna know their thoughts on everything!!!!!! my yuta scorpionic spin on it, of course, was the arguing lol 🫶🏽

swear i didn’t do it on purpose… well maybe i did i don’t remember actually but i know the haechan fic doesn’t have any “””foreplay””” bc unfortunately they don’t have time for that. they being attacked by zombies every 5 minutes. sorry i had to improvise 💔💔💔

ANON YOU SEE WHY THE SMUT WAS MY FAVORITE PART OF THE YUTA FIC RIGHT like oh my god when i got done writing it i was like Mane idgaf about the rest of this shit im just here for the arguments and the sex and the tension. the hoes gon looveeeeeeee this

[smileysuh]

Im reading your new fics thinking WHEN IS IT MY TURN.

Like, real men make me uncomfortable. I went to the pet store and recommended a product to the man in front of me and his response was “do you wanna go out for drinks”. When I said no he told me he thinks his cat is part human and he’s not gonna vax it?? Oh and he was vaping during this too like WE’RE INSIDE

I’d like to request a man from your library. Maybe borrow Johnny for a while or Jae 😭

UR SO RIGHT THO- REAL MEN OUT HERE BEING LAMEEEEEE

i mean- the guy shoot his shot tho... was he not cute? We all know he's not John or Jae levels but like... i dunno- I had a guy shoot his shot with me while I was working in October and we've been seeing each other for like a month and a half now- your lil hoe fan fic writer is exclusive and shit 😩 if the guy had been really cute maybe it wouldn't have been so bad???? lol.... but the whole cat being part human thing.... uh....

anyways, manifesting a CUTE and NOT WEIRD man to approach you in a way you like that actually works out! organic meetings are the way to go I think- but until then, have all the johnjae you need haha